Blank Flank

by Estelien

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 3636

Ava has always dreamed big. The more she heard, "You can't," the more determined she was to prove she could. Although Ava is grown up now, she is still seeking her true destiny. But each path leads to a dead end. “Do I even have a dream anymore?”

Ava Ray, named for her wings and the way the sun made her mane glow, has had lots of big dreams throughout her life. The more she heard, "You can't," the more determined she was to prove she could. Now that Ava is all grown up and working as a teacher, she gets to watch little foals discover their own purpose. And yet... She is still seeking her true destiny. But each path seems to lead to a dead end. For the first time in her life, she might be running out of dreams. Maybe they were right. What am I here for anyway? Do I even have a dream anymore?

Published 2015-06-25 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-27 07:17:11 UTC

Chapter 1

"Guess what, Miss Ray! The article I wrote about you is in the school paper today!"

"Really?" she asked enthusiastically, looking up from her computer. A chill of excitement with just a tinge of dread ran through her spine. I hope she didn't include too much of what we talked about… "Shall I read it now?"

The young pony blushed but tried to sound casual. "It's… up to you… You know… if you have time…" She handed her teacher a copy of the Yearly Yearling, a weekly paper named by somepony overenthusiastic about alliterations. The rest of the class was gradually arriving and commiserating about their "ehhh" (Equestrian History) project.

Miss Ray giggled at some spelling errors. "I went to the Cry-Stale Empire?" She noticed that the lavender pegasus was blushing a bit redder. She skimmed the rest, as her last class would start soon, pausing on one paragraph. "It's a lovely article! This absolutely made my day. But, hmmm, I'm not sure I said 'childhood dream' when we talked?" Am I being too critical? It's so sweet that she chose to write about me like this.

"Well, my writing teacher made me change it so that it sounded better."

"Right… Anyway, can I keep this? I want to frame it, if you don't mind!" The proud filly nodded and stumbled away, trying to hide a huge grin behind her long bangs. Ava mumbled under the dull roar of the socializing students, "Just tweak the facts to make it sound better." At least she didn't write about how I became a teacher. Ah, anyway. It's time. "Bonjour, la classe !" She trotted to the front of the room and began the routine greetings in Fréquin.

"Bonjour, Mademoiselle Rée !"

"GUESS WHAT I DID THIS WEEKEND!"

"En fréquin, s'il te plaît !" ("In Fréquin, please!")

Rrrrrrring! "Phew… OK, tout le monde! À lundi! Bon week-end et soyez sage!" ("Alright, everyone! See you Monday! Have a good weekend and behave!") Once the noise and mad rush to the doors had abated, she slumped down at her desk reflecting on the day. Ughhh. Thank goodness it's Friday. At least it was a fun one - they loved those verb songs. But I can't believe how much attitude the first-year class gave me when I offered them extra credit. How ungrateful can - She stopped herself. No, she was never going to use that word to describe her students. Never.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a second loud ring. It was the travel representative calling to ask for an update. Oh no. "I - I'm sorry, but I… um… don't really have an update right now." Please just say we don't have to talk about it yet.

"Oh. Are… you still interested in the trip at all?"

She tried to stop shivering, to steady her voice. I have to sound professional. "Of course I still want the students to be able to go to Mareseilles! There are just several… factors… and I don't know for sure yet what is going to happen. She twisted the phone cord around her hoof. Gathering a little courage, she added, "What will happen if I'm not able to go on the trip? That is, what if, for whatever reason, perhaps I am not still working here in a couple of years when they go?"

"Well, Ava, whoever replaces you would inherit the trip and all your responsibilities, basically." Resume shivering.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the awful conversation finally ended. Collapsing back into the smelly desk chair, she thought again of the article her dear little student had written. Following my childhood dream? The white pony sighed quietly and started doodling cutie marks on a sticky note. I had all sorts of dreams as a filly… One mark took the shape of a paintbrush, another a fossil, another some scribbled words in three different Equestrian languages… But this, she dropped the pen from her mouth and looked across the dull room absently, finding no new inspiration from the faded posters. Was this one of them?

"MADEMOISELLE! MADEMOISELLE!" She jolted upright and crumpled her sticky note as a colt and his friends bounded through the doorway. Instinctively, before even registering who they were, she gave a pleasant smile.

"What is it? Shouldn't you be on your way home?"

"We're staying for the soccer game," one said quickly, "but did you see the new update??!" They all nodded excitedly.

"Ohhh, that's why you're here. Yeah, it looks really cool! I'm so glad they're finally rebalancing the mage class - they were way OP."

"I know, right?! Let me guess, do you play as an archer?"

"Pfffff, nah. I'm always a mixed class!"

"But LunaScape doesn't have mixed classes. Are you thinking of some other game?"

"Nope! I play as a battle cleric, and I actually do a lot of farming."

"Wow, that's weird," one of them piped up from the back.

"I dunno," another said, "I think it's kinda cool."

"Yeah… Actually, maybe I'll try that on my next character!" said a taller, blue colt. Her smile was real by now. These dorks. Gotta love 'em. "Well, we've gotta go. Bye!!"

"See you Monday!"

What an incredible thing it was to get to influence them while they were so young - to have an impact on their future. Her mood was lightening. She giggled quietly at the idea that so many of them only took her class because she was such a dork too.

Despite being a teacher by day, she still made time for video games, among other mismatched hobbies. "I just stay on top of popular culture so that I can make real-world connections in class, to increase the level of engagement blah blah blah," she'd always say when asked. It was a stretch, but if it kept the higher-ups happy, it was a good enough excuse.

She checked her calendar for meetings. Oh, that's right. I have to go see Raindrop soon. As she packed up to go tutor the sick filly, she noticed some flecks of dry paint on the floor around her. "Really? Again?" Grumbling, she pulled out her make up bag. It could normally wait until she got home, but the day wasn't over yet. She hoped that the boys had not noticed. Wow, it looks like someone took a bite out of this thing. With a thin paintbrush, she deftly patched up the apple and dictionary on her flank. "Rrrg!" the brush slipped and fell, leaving a blood-like streak down her fur and splattering the floor. This week needs to be over. After poking her head out the door to make sure the coast was clear, she crept grudgingly to the restroom to wash it off.

These days, she usually avoided eye contact with herself. But while the water warmed up, she glanced up into mirror. Do I even have a dream anymore?

Author's Note

Glad to be back after almost two whole years! I missed you people! :twilightsmile:
FYI, Ava is pronounced like in the song by Coeur de Pirate.
Yes, she teaches Fréquin. Equine French. Yup. I need to learn some French horse puns, stat.
I feel like the spacing might be awkward. Speaking two languages destroyed my concept of how to format dialogue. Feedback on this or anything else in the story is greatly appreciated!
Also, to clarify, it isn't going to be a sad story, so to speak. It only starts out that way.
Enjoy!

Chapter 2: A Typical Day

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius
That's what they all said. Even I said it. Does that make me a hypocrite?

Ava blinked slowly, lazily waiting for the bright, still room to come into focus. With a shiver, she pulled her limbs in closer. It was a chilly night and she didn't have a blanket within reach. Craning her neck to see the clock, she blinked harder. That can't be right. It was 3 AM and she was still on the couch. How many times she had woken up that night, she could not count. Each time, she had not had the energy to do more than sit up a moment and collapse on her other side. I really ought to turn off the light… and brush my teeth… and go to bed… The couch is so uncomfortable… Why did I fall asleep here anyway? She realized that her cheeks and eyes felt crusty. An open journal lay on the floor beside her. Oh. Right. Finally, she pushed herself up, flicked off the lights, and went to bed, still in her school clothes.

Doot doot doot-doot, dooooot, doooot, dada-doot… She pried open her eyes, half-aware that the music was not, in fact, the soundtrack of her real-life LunaScape quest to save the prince from a dragon, but an alarm to wake up. "Hrrrrrng," she grunted and rolled over. She managed to ignore it the first two times through, but her head started to hurt when it started on the third. With a whiny grunt, she reached over and turned it off. I'm so tired… And so comfortable… Maybe I'll just… Her eyes shot open. Crap. I haven't finished today's exam yet! She rolled off the bed, stumbled and held her head while the clouds faded from her eyes, and shuffled to the bathroom, dragging her blanket with her like a cape. Her back ached from the nap.

Outside the windows, the sky was still dark. The clouds around her little house were just slightly purple around the eastern edges. She yawned widely and woke up the sleeping computer. The bright screen made her squint, still sensitive from last night's lesson planning. A blank document glowed mockingly. That's right… I was about to write it when I got distracted. Well... I'll just have to type fast. Maybe I can finish it during my prep period. Ava Ray was never one to cut corners. Her work had to be perfect, or it was not good enough. However, perfectionism and time limits do not go well together.

When the exam was finally ready, she checked the clock. Oh jeez! She only had ten minutes to finish getting ready to go. She galloped the short distance to the bathroom and hastily brushed her mane and fur. "Ouch!" The brush pulled the fur on her flank. Inspecting it, still half-asleep but woken up a bit by the pain, she found the crunchy remains of yesterday's paint sticking in her white fur. Ugh, I don’t have time for this… It wasn't the first time it had happened, though, so she knew which soap would wash it out the fastest. Drying it vigorously with a towel in one hoof, she threw the other hoof over the counter to grab the colors.

As if she needed a little more distress in her already frantic morning, she had forgotten that she was out of red. She tried using a dark pink, but it was blatantly obvious. Desperate to get going - she was down to three minutes - she threw on a dress to cover it. The only one that was long enough was really too warm for late summer. Oh well. It will have to do! She rushed to the kitchen - wheeled around to turn off the bathroom light - knocked over a picture on the way back - and grabbed an oat bar for on the way. Finally ready, she checked one last time to make sure the dress covered her awful pink cutie mark and literally flew out the door, headed for the Cloudsdale Yearling School.

Why couldn't today have been a Saturday? I'm looking forward to seeing the kids and all, but… I just don't know how to be excited about work anymore. Isn't this what I'm destined to do? I always said that only ponies who are passionate about teaching should teach. So why is it so difficult for me? Like, I don't even want to speak Fréquin right now.

When the students started pouring into the building in the morning, Miss Ray stood in the hall to make sure those goofy little pegasi behaved themselves and didn't dawdle. With the high ceiling and wide space, many of them liked to race to class anyway.

"Ha-ha! I'm the first one to Fréquin!"

"That's no fair! You had a way shorter flight to get here. My locker is at the other end of the school!"

Distracted by the bickering colts, she didn't notice at first that Mrs. Globe, the Equestrian History teacher, had paused, saddlebag full of copied worksheets, to stare at her over her square glasses. "Oh, hello. How are you?"

"That's… a cute dress..." said Mrs. Globe in a rather unconvincing tone. "Er, but aren't you a little warm in it?"

Ava blushed. "Oh, not really!" she lied. "My classroom is, er, not as hot as some rooms." She shifted a little, making sure the dress covered the awful pink apple.

"Are you KIDDING? It's roasting in here!" a student yelled from behind her. She threw her a "you're not helping" look before turning to smile politely at her colleague. Mrs. Globe had hurried off, however. Ava still hadn't really gotten to know the other teachers, even though she had been at CYS for a few years. They were polite enough, at least, and worked well as a team. Still, she had a hard time connecting with them on any other level.

The morning had been exhausting. Her lesson plans were less complete than she had thought, so she had to improvise quite a bit. She wasn't speaking as much Fréquin in class as she should have, and the guilt was weighing on her. The afternoon would be mostly exams, which should be easier (as long as it wasn't full of mistakes from typing it too early). It was a huge relief when the bell rang for lunch: one of Ava's favorite parts of the day. First, she would walk around the cafeteria while half the students ate. Then, she could go enjoy some peace and quiet over her own lunch... Well, unless some of the students decided to join (and mooch some of her dessert).

"Excuse me!"

"Sorry!"

"Hurry up, man, it's hayburger day!"

The mad rush for lunch was one battle she was not willing to fight. It was too difficult to avoid being run into (or run over!), being a small pegasus that hardly looked older than the yearlings, and she couldn't risk the cutie mark getting rubbed off. So she waited until the stampede had made their way to the two lines on either side of a long room. She then trotted between them and out to the outdoor cafeteria, stopping to greet a few students who had waved excitedly as though they had not seen her several times already that day. A few, whom she had busted for rule-breaking the previous week, met her smile with furious glares. Gotta love 'em.

Cotton Swab, the green and white school security guard, was already pacing up and down the rows of tables, chewing on a toothpick. Supposedly, he had fought in a war once, and even worked as some sort of royal bodyguard. The details were vague, but he often reminded the students of it just the same. If only they took him as seriously as he took himself.

"Good morning, Swab!"

"'Morning, Miss Ray," he said amicably, walking over to stand next to her. He leaned his head closer and nodded toward the far table. "You see that kid over there with the brown mane? Name's Ring Toss. Caught 'im with a whole bag a' poison joke last year. He's been tryna clean up his act, but if he keeps hangin' out with that Diamond Shoe gal - she is bad news, man - it'll be a one-way ticket to wind labor for him." He shook his head hopelessly before stalking off. Ava looked up at the sky, trying hard not to laugh. She would have been concerned, except that she heard these stories every day about who was supposedly doomed to a future as a wind-bringer.

Although weatherpony jobs are generally respected, wind-bringing is the exception. Unless a pegasus has incredibly large and strong wings, it is very difficult. They often have to push the wind for hours on end without a break. Hardly anypony would want to be a wind-bringer. But Ava always thought the threat was fairly empty. Jobs don't work like that in Equestria. It all depends on their cutie mark - nopony gets stuck doing something they don’t like…

Anyway, it's time to make the rounds. Most students had gotten their lunches and were happily chatting, through full mouths, with their friends. The sun kept peeking out from behind the clouds, then hiding again. Ava was relieved to feel a cool breeze. The room really had been entirely too hot. Thanks, wind-bringers, she thought with a little smile as she started walking among the tables.

"Where are you off to, Bubble Pop?" she called to an older filly who was flying determinedly away from the school.

Bubble paused, turned her head just enough to show a painful-looking eye roll, and responded, "Nowhere… I'm just… stretching my wings! Gosh, aren't I allowed to fly here? It's a free sky, you know."

"Just stay where we can see you." Although Ava might have been capable of a witty reply on a normal day, the sleepiness from last night's odd schedule was catching up to her. It wasn't worth starting an argument with this one. She yawned and kept walking once Bubble Pop had flown a bit closer (cuing her friends to roll their eyes with her, of course). The yearling pegasi were free to fly around outside during lunch hour, as long as they did not go too far. There had always been an issue, however, with dares. Pegasi, after all, always felt the need to prove themselves. Older students dared each other to fly under Cloudsdale and back, or to go grab a small cloud and prank someone with a personal shower, or even to go home for the entire afternoon and see if any teachers noticed they were gone.

When Ava was in school there, she and her friends always flew up onto the soft, cloud-covered roof to eat picnic-style and observe their classmates. They really didn't have much interest in the drama of teenage ponies, so they mostly spent their time playing JoyBoy and talking about TV shows.

"Miss Raaaaay!" Her pleasant recollection was interrupted by an excited, blue filly that nearly flew right into her and crash-landed. They seriously do not have control of themselves at this age. She recognized the pile of fur and feathers as one of her geekiest (and youngest) fillies, with whom she frequently chatted about TV shows and art.

"Melody, are you alright?"

"Miss Ray! Look!" The ecstatic little pegasus stood and turned to show off her brand new cutie mark of a crossed pen and sword. "I've been working on that comic I was writing - you know, the one you read and said you really liked? - and I realized… I want to write adventure comics! I love making people happy with my stories! Oh, and when I graduate, I'll know enough Fréquin to translate them too." That last bit may, perhaps, have been an afterthought.

"Wow, that's wonderful, Melody! Your stories are always great, and your art is absolutely at a professional level, despite your age, so I'm not surprised. Did you just get it yesterday?"

"Yes, right after school! I was so afraid when I didn't get it back in elementary school like the other kids... But it isn't really that late, is it? I'm young for my year, after all. Well, anyway, I wanted to tell you, I'm having my cuteceañera on Thursday at 6:30." She handed Miss Ray an invitation decorated with her characters and fancy lettering. "Can you come? Please?"

Another one… "Of course I will," she promised, and Melody cantered off to distribute the rest of her invitations. Ava sighed. Cuteceañeras, my favorite. The breeze blew pleasantly through Ava's curly mane, calming her down, and caught her dress. "GACK!"

Author's Note

A little glimpse into the day of a school teacher. The kids will always be what make it worth it, don't you think? Still, I'm kind of getting the vibe that she isn't completely content with it...
As always, let me know if anything isn't clear or is written awkwardly. (I need to not submit things at 3-4 AM.) Thank you/merci ! :twilightsmile:
Chapter 3 should be up within a few days. I'm also hoping to add some art soon.