Various Short Stories Written by a Friend

by Legato_Concerto

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Sex, Spike, Big Macintosh, Random, Princess Celestia, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1059

Various short stories sent to me by a friend that kinda show how he sees the MLP universe.

Short quick writes sent to me by my friend. I don't know what goes on in his head.
Basically a series of crackfics:
(OOC ahead choo choo)

. Large amounts of bad language \_(._.)_/
. Sex tag is their for a reason but, not explained in depth so don't worry about that.

Author:My friend Christian
Editor:Me(unfortunately, I tried)

Published 2015-06-27 19:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-27 19:20:02 UTC

Cupcakes According to him

Author's Note

Caution:Contains copious amounts of silliness and should not be read by the sane.
This is not meant to be taken seriously, like ever.

Cupcakes According to him

"Such a fucking wonderful day today but, the fucking clouds are out being little bitches blocking the beautiful ass sun" I say to myself. I'm supposed to be baking cupcakes with my bestie rainbow dash! It's going to be so fun I swear but, I'm not sure if today is the right day. I'm really pissed off; I think I'm on my period.

"TAMPAX AWAY!!!!" I yell. Oh what the fuck I might as well still bake them delicious ass cupcakes to give to the little fucks in town. So here I am in this little tiny fucking piece of shit store that smells like sweets that I want to eat. Rainbow dash then arrives at this store.

"Ready bitch to cook them fancy ass fucking cupcakes" I yell.

"What the fuck is your problem Pinkie" Rainbow Dash yells back.

"I don't know but get your ass in here to bake" I reply. As we are baking something came over me and I whacked the shit out of Rainbow Dash. That little blue bitch got knocked the fuck out. I grab her and take her to the basement. Then, I strap her to this torture device I call the Pinkie Pleaser. And no it's not some sex machine to robotically fuck my vagina. When she was tied down on the device I cut her wings first then cut her stomach. I reach in and pull her guts out. Now, the blue bitch is dead and i didn't feel like throwing out the corpse. So i made cupcakes out of her guts. Now all the little fucking pony bitches are eating the blue bitch. Motherbuckers had it coming.

CMC According to Him

Author's Note

Never meant to be taken seriously. Ever.

CMC According to Him

In a magical fucking place called Equestria in this little tiny ass town named Ponyville there's this group of three little shits. First there's Sweetie Belle, the white bitch. Next, is the orange bitch, named Scootaloo, who has wings but cant fly because she just fucking can't I don't know. . Last is the most retarded, stupid, and shittiest fucker named Apple Bloom. Shes a yellow little fuck who should burn in hell. All three of them are in a group which only consists the three of them. They call them selves the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Each day they meet up in a tree house. They plan and try to discover their cutie marks. A new adventure every day when they try yo do these stupid fucking stunts. Well today their adventure will be an odd one. Sweetie Belle went through her sisters drawers and found a pink dildo. Then, she brought it back to the tree house.

"What do you think its used for?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't know but, i do know my sister has one as well", Apple bloom stated.

"Well show us how it works then" demanded Scootaloo.

"Fine, fine" Apple Bloom replied .

"Lay down Sweetie Belle", the yellow bitch says. Apple Bloom then shoves the pink dildo up Sweetie Belle's pussy.

" AHHH! It feels amazing!" Sweetie Belle said. The yellow bitch then started to go in and out with the dildo. All took turns pleasing one another. As it turns out orange bitch got her cutie mark which was a dildo. The group of three well, two now still try to find their fucking cutie marks till this very day.

Spike According to Him

Author's Note

Never ever meant to be taken seriously. EVEERRRR.

Spike According to Him

I'm a little piece of shit slave that's also a dragon, a tiny ass dragon. My fucking name is Spike. The purple bitch I live with is named twilight Sprinkle. She is okay though; she got a nice ass at least. She's the bitch who commands me. Well today she commanded me to do something i have wanted to do for a long ass time. Here's how it went down.

"Spike" twilight yelled.

"What bitch" is my reply.

"Fuck my ass" twilight says.

"Ummm are you ok twi?" I reply.

"No cause your big ass cock isn't in my ass" she says.

"Well if you want me to theres no harm" i say. So i fucked her all day and all night. That fine ass is mine. Other bitches be jealous

Big Mac According to Him

Author's Note

Last time I'll tell you this should never be taken seriously.

Big Mac According to Him

My fucking name is Big Mac, I have a big dick, and two fine ass sisters. Some may call it weird that I want to fuck them till my dick falls off but, I call it nature. Anyway, today it's going to happen I'm going to fuck them; using a drug called roofies. As they both pass out i grab them and take them to our cellar. I spread their legs and tie them down, time to have fun. I stick my "big mac" in Applejack's pussy; In and out in and out I go inside her. Then, i switch to apple bloom and do the same. After that i killed them using a knife. Then, I ate their bodies which was a good way to hide the evidence. Now time to kill that old nagging bitch granny smith!

Royal Relations According to Him

I am a powerful ass bitch named Princess Celestia some know me as Princess "Sun Butt" or Princess "Molestia" and I have a fine ass sister named Princess Luna; I call her Moonbutt 'cause boy is that plot HUUUGE. I've wanted to fuck the purple black ass for a long time. Any who I was laying down in my big ass bed and my fine ass sister walks in and says "fuck me". I hop up in joy and reply with

"Come here so I can fuck that nice ass and that little tight pussy with my horn". She rushed on the bed and turned around and bent down. I shoved my horn in her ass. After hearing her moan and groan I went to the pussy: she loved it. Then, she did the same to me. What a day to remember.