Sparkle of Darkness

Rainbow Dash awoke feeling no better than she had the previous day. She immediately clutched her hoof to her stomach, attempting to suppress a sensation that felt like her insides were being compressed together, creating a tight knot in her stomach surrounded by a terrible emptiness. With a sickly groan, she decided that her meds must have worn off. The run down pegasus reached for the bottle, which was still tucked under her wing. She was only supposed to need one dosage per day, and it was still early morning. Well maybe a fine, athletic, well built specimen of a pegasus such as herself needed a more concentrated dosage. The two pills she had already taken seemed to tide her over for the night, so she deduced that to get through a day and a night she’d need at least double. She poured four pills onto her hoof and peered into the bottle. There was just one lonely pill remaining. Well, what harm could one extra pill do? She’d need to pick up more that day anyway. Making sure Twilight was still asleep to avoid questioning, she swallowed all five pills.

It wasn’t long before Rainbow started feeling irrationally good. She sat in bed, smiling broadly at how damn incredible she was. Her body was limp, but she felt like she could jump up and hit the ground running at any moment. Her mind was swamped with warm, fuzzy thoughts and she forgot altogether about the awful sensation that had been washing over her moments before. What was the doctor talking about? This was clearly the correct dosage; it made her feel much better about herself than any amount of talking.

As the Pegasus felt her mood soaring, the unicorn awoke in a suffocating depression. Feeling like she hadn’t slept in days, she struggled to drag herself out of bed and wiped the sleet from her eyes. Finally standing on all fours, Twilight Sparkle felt her limbs stiffen. Even though the pony was awake, every inch of her body seemed to resist any attempted movement. Giving up, she sat on her bed and gazed around stupidly, as if in a daze. It took her a few moments to perceive the colourful Pegasus pony beaming at her.

“Hey, Twilight!” said Rainbow with a grin.

“Well, you look cheerful,” replied Twilight, failing to imitate her friend’s ecstatic look.

“How’re you doing?”

“Been better. It’s good to see that you’ve gotten back on your feet so quickly.”

Rainbow chuckled mindlessly, “Lighten up Twi. Life is an adventure. Every day is a new day and I feel great!”

Twilight looked at Rainbow quizzically. Was her mindless ecstasy a coping mechanism or had she genuinely gotten over the event in less than two days? Rarity said that they all needed to move on with their lives; maybe the other ponies were doing just that. Maybe Twilight was the only one who was so distraught over what happened. Maybe she was the only one with a reason to beat herself up about it. The scholar considered the situation carefully, analysing and trying to make sense of it. Being so absorbed in her thoughts, she didn’t even notice the uncomfortable silence that ensued as she stared concernedly at the floor, biting her lip.

“Yea so anyway,” Rainbow said awkwardly, maintaining a wide smile, “I need to go to town and get some things. I might be able to make it back to Cloudsdale today, but if I don’t, you mind if I crash here again?”

“What? Oh, yea. Sure, sure.”

“Great. I’ll see you later.”

Rainbow jumped out of bed and her limbs shook excitedly. Her walk was somewhat erratic and uneven, and she breathed heavily with each short, quick step. Sweat from her brow was running down her face. Twilight was trapped in contemplation and noticed none of this.

***

The doctor frowned down at Rainbow Dash concernedly before saying “You took a week’s dosage within 24 hours?"

“Well, yea, but that was a week’s dosage for regular depression in a regular pony. I’m super depressed and I’m better than most ponies,” Rainbow Dash answered as she crossed her forelegs, hunching on the bed. The smile on the pegasus’s face had been replaced with a grumpy scowl.

“I knew filling out that prescription was a mistake,” muttered the stallion as his brow furrowed in frustration.

“Look, just fill out a bigger prescription this time. It’s an easy mistake for an egg head like you to make. Some ponies can’t recognise the fine physical specimen that is Rainbow Dash when they see it.”

“That’s not what I meant. Look, relying on these pills can be dangerous. It’s a treatment rather than a cure, and a rather poor one-“

“Look, doc, I know how I feel. These pills make me feel better than any amount of talking could. Just get out your little prescription pad and get me some more of them!” Rainbow was starting to get annoyed at the doctor. Sure, he was a professional, but only she could tell how she felt.

“Legally I couldn’t prescribe more so soon even if I wanted to. At this point, it’s apparent that those pills will only harm you. I urge you to see-“

“Look, you’re wrong, ok? I’m sick, these pills make me better. That’s all I need to know and it’s all that needs to be discussed. If you won’t help me, I’ll find a doctor who will.”

Rainbow got up and headed for the door. As she was about to leave the doctor called, “Rainbow, have you tried flying yet? You won’t be able to. You can barely walk straight. If you keep using medication as a crutch, you’ll start losing strength in your wings. You may never fly again.”

Rainbow stopped in her tracks. Looking back at her wings she flapped them a few times. They moved easily enough, but seemed less flexible than usual. Her heart sank. She loved flying, and couldn’t bear the thought of losing her gift as a pegasus. After flexing her wings for a moment, she looked past them at her doctor. The stallion who had tried to convince her that talking would make her feel better than the pills. What did he know? Her wings were probably just a bit stiff from lack of use. Convincing herself that the doctor was merely a quack, she gave a bemused snort before folding her wings. She walked out of the clinic without saying another word.