Humanic Park. AKA: Stupid Will Find A Way.by FoalsHalfChaptersInvitationWelcomeTest RunInvitation“All right, Dust Seeker, let’s have that deep scan on the main monitor.” Lyra Heartstrings smiled in anticipation as the earth pony adjusted the knobs on his equipment and an eerie image resolved into shape on the screen in front of them. With her team anxiously clustering around, Lyra nodded as she studied the scan. “Just as we hoped. See? There are the beer cans… apparently most of them crushed. I’ll wager that the dent marks match the shape of the cranium. Magnificent!” “Looks like a big monkey to me,” the obnoxious and faintly bored voice of Diamond Tiara spoke up as Silver Spoon nodded her agreement, somewhat ruining Lyra’s satisfaction of the moment. Lyra advanced on the pair with a dangerous glint in her eyes and a deceivingly amused tone in her voice.“Monkey huh?” she repeated. “Well let’s think about this.” Lyra smiled coldly. “Let’s pretend that it’s the late Cretineous Period and you find yourself standing face to face with this ‘big monkey’.” Lyra paused as if in thought. “You look at him and he looks at you. Now you think that he’s like E-Rex and that if you stay perfectly still, maybe he won’t notice you. So you freeze and watch as he takes a drink of his beer.” Lyra turned thrusting a hoof at Diamond Tiara. “And that’s when the attack comes! Not from the front, but the sides. From the two Rednecks you didn’t even know were there. Because, you see, the Redneck is a pack hunter…Of course it’s not quick. It’s actually rather messy. Maybe you’re hit here-” Lyra poked at Diamond Tiara’s side. “or maybe here-” She poked to her chest. “because they’re lousy shots.” “But the point is- when they tie you to the front of their buggy, you’re still alive! So maybe you should show a little respect hmm?” Diamond Tiara nodded vigorously. Lyra trotted back up the hill where Bon Bon was waiting. “You know…if you wanted to scare her, you could have just thrown her to a bugbear,” Bon Bon teased. Lyra shrugged. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t handle that well.” “Like I said, I would have thrown her to a bugbear.” They shared a look and laughed. “Bon Bon? Do you see that?” Lyra squinted at the sky, unsure at first of the motion her eyes had noted. Bon Bon’s eyes strained, “It looks like an airship of some kind. I think it’s coming down and heading this way.” Sure enough the small dot rapidly grew in their sight as it approached. Lyra quickly called out orders to her team. “Secure those tarps tight! Hurry! We’ve got to get our dig covered!” She and Bon Bon hurried back down to the site and began furiously lashing down tarps as Dust Seeker frantically zipped up his gear tent lest the fouling dust and dirt kicked up by the airship’s propellers get into the delicate components. Lyra scowled up at the airship.. “Somepony’s going to pay for this…” About fifteen minutes later, Lyra and Bon Bon retreated back up to the trailer on top of the hill. Bon Bon glanced over at the now landed airship and the logo painted on the side. “Pon-Gen? What the heck would they want here?” “Pon-Gen? Isn’t that that big Pharmaceuticals and Technology company?” Bon Bon nodded. “That’s the one.” “Some genius probably wants us to field test a new sunblock, or bug screen, or something.” “Although the thing that really gets me, is that if they offered us six weeks funding, I’d do it.” “We’ll find out soon enough.” Bon Bon opened the trailer door. As they stepped inside, they saw an older looking unicorn rummaging through the refrigerator and removing a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Special Reserve Zap Apple Cider. “Hey! Who do you think you are? We were saving that for…” “For today! I assure you!” the stallion announced amicably. “Oh! I’m forgetting my manners! Have a seat won’t you?” He popped the cork on the bottle. “If I could just find some glasses…” “You still haven’t answered my question,” Lyra said irritably. “Who do you think you are?” The stallion paused from retrieving glasses from one of the upper cabinets, a slightly befuddled expression on his muzzle. “Well… I think I’m Cloud Dreamer.” Bon Bon’s jaw dropped. “Cloud Dreamer? As in the owner of Dreamer International? That Cloud Dreamer?” The old stallion nodded. “Yes. That’s the one, I think.” He pointed a hoof at Lyra. “But what’s more important is that I know who YOU are, Lyra Heartstrings! Your work in Human Paleontology is most impressive! And THAT is why I’m here!” Lyra shook her head. “I’m not following you.” “Oh! Well it’s quite simple you see! I have a certain project I’ve been working on and we’ve recently hit a bit of a snag and now my investors need some reassurance. That’s where you come in, Miss Heartstrings.” “Well that makes things clearer,” Bon Bon muttered. “I promise I’ll explain it a bit more clearly once we’re airborne.” He gestured to the airship outside. “Wait! We can’t just up and leave our work!” Lyra protested. “How about if I arrange to fund your research for the next three years?” Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other. “Dust Seeker! You’re in charge until I get back!” Lyra shouted down to the ponies in the dig site. She looked at Cloud Dreamer. “I think we can accommodate your schedule.” “Splendid!” He opened the door to the airship and gestured for them to enter. After taking a moment to head up front to speak with the flight crew, Cloud Dreamer returned to introduce the other ponies they would be sharing the trip with. “First is my chief legal adviser, Mr. Flim- the source of my distress. And this is Miss Fluttershy. You may be aware of her work with exotic species.” Cloud Dreamer smiled and then turned a resigned expression to the other pony in the compartment. “And lastly is Big MacIntosh, Doctor of Fancy Mathematics.” He shook his head. “I’m afraid he doesn’t share my enthusiasm for our little project. Do you Mr. MacIntosh?” “Enope.” Cloud Dreamer shook his head. “You’ll have to excuse Doctor MacIntosh. He suffers from a deplorable excess of personality!” He then shot a look at Flim. “You see? I bring scientists and you bring rock stars!” MacIntosh snorted at this remark. “If we could have some idea just what this project is?” Bon Bon pressed. “Oh!” Cloud Dreamer nodded with enthusiasm. “Believe me when I tell you it’s unlike anything you have ever seen, heard of, or imagined! You see, it’s been my fascination since I was a young colt! Ever since my first trip to the museum in Manehattan! Humans have fascinated me endlessly and to that end, I want to share that fascination with the entire world!” “Are we talking about a new museum?” Bon Bon asked. Big Mac simply rolled his eyes. “Oh no! The collection of specimens at the Natural History Museum in Canterlot is splendid! But that’s just the thing! It’s all static! What I have to share is a park of living breathing humans as no pony has ever seen before!” “Living humans?!” Lyra’s eyes widened in shock and surprise, certain she must have misheard. “Oh yes! Genuine! Living! Breathing humans! And all I have to do to share this accomplishment with the world is to calm the nerves of my board of directors. They seem to think I may have taken leave of my sanity. But if members of the academic community such as yourself were to endorse this park, then the accountants will settle down and let the rest of us to move forward.” “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Lyra shook her head. “Are you saying you’ve managed to clone a human?” “Oh yes! Naturally I can’t discuss specifics for proprietary reasons but yes!” Big Mac folded his front hooves and leaned back. “And you just don’t get it that your thinking just don’t add up!” “Oh yes!” Cloud Dreamer gestured a hoof to Big Mac. “Now the philosopher speaks! You never have been able to explain to me that theory of yours.” MacIntosh inhaled a deep breath and sighed. “Humans ruled the world in their time. The ultimate predators and now you done brought them back. The number one apex predator of their time just like ponies are the apex rulers now and you’re gonna bring them together. You CAN’T have TWO number ones at the same time! So the question is which of them moves down the food chain. And right now you know nothing about how they’ll react… THEY know you’d probably taste good with ketchup. I’d say that gives them the edge.” “A rather alarmist view.” Cloud Dreamer scoffed. “You’ll see! We have everything under control In the bustling market square, Suri Polomare sat nervously waiting for her contact. She spied the lean yellow coated unicorn who trotted over with an amused look in his eyes. “Are you sure you weren’t followed?” Suri demanded in a hushed voice. “Relax, Suri old mare!” The unicorn laughed confidently. “Nopony here cares! And in a few hours, your company is going to catch up on years of research.” He paused. “If the price is right of course.” He sat down with a slight tone of warning. Suri smiled wryly as she pushed a saddlebag loaded with bits across the table. “It’s not like this is the first time I’ve ever done this, Mister Flam. How do you think our company gets most of our breakthroughs. Just remember: be at the docks by 1700 hours WITH the samples. I’ll be there with the rest of your money.” “Of course! I suppose you have some idea on how I’m supposed to get the samples out of the lab?” Suri smirked and set a six pack of Colt Cola on the table. “The bottoms unscrew. The top actually contains soda. Just keep it cold. After all, who doesn’t like a frosty cold can of Colt?” “You ponies think of everything don’t you?” Flam laughed as Suri put the cans in a small cooler and passed the cooler to him. “And remember one more thing Mr. Flam.” Suri warned. “You fail to show? You try and double cross us? We WILL find you and you’ll regret it… Author's Note The spelling of the Cretineous Period is correct. Literally Age of the Cretins. WelcomeChapter Two: Welcome After about two hours of flying, an exceptional in flight meal was served for Cloud Dreamer and his guests. “No expense spared!” He had noted with satisfaction as the food was served by immaculately dressed stewards. Bon Bon certainly could believe that as they ate and enjoyed polite conversation before Cloud Dreamer excused himself and retired to his private sleeping berth. Flim also shortly excused himself as the scientists delved into shop talk amongst themselves. Doctor MacIntosh watched the three mares in amusement until finally everypony drifted off to sleep. Now several hours later, Bon Bon nudged the still dozing Lyra. “Lyra! Look out the window! I think we’re almost there!” “Wherever ‘there’ is,” Big Mac remarked as Lyra blinked awake and looked out the window next to her. Indeed she could feel the ship gradually descend over a lush tropical island and into a verdant valley. “Ah! Good!” Cloud Dreamer’s upbeat voice cut in as he and Flim emerged from the aft section of the passenger deck. “You’re all awake!” He grinned. “You’ll want to strap in ladies.” Cloud Dreamer helped Fluttershy with her harness. “This part of the ride can get just a bit interesting!” He looked to Big Mac as he double checked Fluttershy’s harness. “I suppose you should as well Doctor MacIntosh.” He took his own seat. Big Mac looked dismally at the harness frame which clearly had not been designed with a pony of his size in mind. He shrugged after studying it for a moment and simply crossed the two ends over his chest and tied them into a knot. That was just at the right time, for the airship sharply dropped as if it had been sitting on a table and was suddenly shoved off. Lyra turned noticeably more pale as butterflies rose in her belly and her last meal made threat to exit from whence it had entered. Fluttershy let off a nervous smile as the craft shuddered. “Whoo hoo!” her soft voice chimed with exhilaration. Finally the ship settled down into a much more gentle descent. Big Mac looked distinctly ill. “That should be it for the bumps!” Cloud Dreamer announced as the craft headed into her moorings. Big Mac heaved a sigh of relief just as the airship came to a stop with one last thud. He then shot Cloud Dreamer a look, which by all rights should have felled the unicorn on the spot, but instead, earned a look of mischief and amusement. “Oh! Sorry! Forgot about that one!” Big Mac arched an eyebrow at him as Cloud Dreamer released the catch on his harness and opened the hatch, waiting for his guests to follow. Big Mac brought up the end of the party pausing only to give one last glare at Cloud Dreamer before exiting. They were ushered into waiting carriages down a gently winding path. Fluttershy in particular was fascinated by the selections of exotic foliage. One particular plant she was certain was an extinct specimen of the Erythroxylaceae family. She found it most puzzling as the carriages came to a stop. As Fluttershy excitedly showed the specimen she had plucked loose to Bon Bon, Lyra stood up and stared. “Bon Bon?” Lyra asked. “Hmmm?” “Bon Bon?” “Yes?” Lyra poked her in the shoulder. “Bon Bon! Look!” Bon Bon turned her head and thus joined Lyra in an impossible sight. Humans! Scores of humans! Milling about contentedly. One approached showing no concern or fear of their presence. “Welcome to Canada, eh? We don’t have a Tim Horton’s yet but I’m sure we can find a good pilsner for you!” Lyra grinned. “Bon Bon! Look at them! This changes everything! These aren’t cold blooded slow creatures! They’re warm blooded! I can’t believe it! This is amazing!” Big Mac shook his head. “The crazy old buck really done it.” Cloud Dreamer grinned as he trotted over to Lyra. “This… It’s all real?” Lyra asked in awestruck whisper. “Oh yes!” “How?” “I’ll show you.” A thirty minute drive led from ‘Canada’ to the Visitor’s Center where Cloud Dreamer enthusiastically led the way through the main entrance, greeting the worker ponies as they hurriedly put the finishing touches on the building. In the center of the hall was what Lyra could only describe as a rocket; although it was much larger than any she had ever seen. Overhead, a banner with the words ‘When Humans Ruled the World’ hung above it all. “It’s the most advanced amusement park in the world! We've incorporated all the latest technologies! I’m not just talking about rides! Everypony has rides! Colter Island has rides! What I mean are actual living biological attractions so astounding! So amazing that they’ll capture the fascination of the entire world!” He proclaimed as they proceeded up a flight of stairs that curved around the huge rocket. “So what do you think Lyra?” “That I’m out of a job?” “Extinct is more like it.” Big Mac quipped as he followed behind them. Lyra shot him a look, which he answered with a shrug. Cloud Dancer chuckled as he led the way to the auditorium. “You know, I’ve had this dream for a very long time! For decades, I’ve dreamed of building this park! The only question was ‘how’. I searched very hard for the answer. At one point, a scientist in my employment came to me with a piece of amber! And there was a mosquito trapped inside. So he told me that we could extract the blood siphoned by the mosquito and then we would have DNA we could clone from!” He shook his head. “Naturally, I thanked him for his enthusiasm, but even supposing we found mosquitos preserved and even supposing they had blood which we could extract, I had to ask him just how we would be sure it was human blood? Imagine if I had poured millions of bits into that and we had ended up cloning a two foot long primitive parasprite! No my friends! We had much further to look than that I assure you!” He ushered them into their seats. “And now, I’m going to show you!” He nodded to the projectionist in the back to start the film. “This is still in early production, but, well, just watch!” On screen a very familiar looking unicorn walked to a dias and looked out at the audience. “Hello!” “Do say hello!” Cloud Dreamer encouraged his guests. “Oh, hello!” Fluttershy greeted amicably. “Hello! Oh hello, Cloud!” “Oh! My lines! That’s right!” “Well fine, fine! But how did I get here?” “Well I’ll show you! Just hold out your hoof…” Cloud Dreamer made as if to prick his celluloid doppelganger. “Ouch!” The pony on screen jerked his hoof back. “That hurt!” “I’m sorry about that; but you see, I needed a little of your DNA. That’s key to the miracle of cloning!” Lyra and her companions watched as new copies of Cloud Dreamer now stepped out from behind the first and their host in real time sat down. “But where would you get the DNA?” Lyra wondered aloud. Bon Bon hushed her as on screen, a cartoonish character spiraled into existence above the pricked hoof. “Mister DNA! Where did you come from?” “From your blood! A single drop of blood contains billions of strands of DNA! The building blocks of life! A strand of DNA is a blueprint for building a living thing! Like a human for example- humans may have gone extinct long ago, but luckily for us, they left their blueprints behind! We just had to know where to look!” On screen was animation of two hard hatted ponies digging their way down to a fossilized human. “Finding fossilized human remains is just the start! For many years it was believed that when an animal became a fossil, all the soft tissue and the DNA inside was lost! But recently, we've discovered that in some cases, some of that tissue still remains! Humanic Park scientists extract this soft tissue and that’s where the magic really begins! A complete DNA strand contains billions of genetic codes and all that has to be intact if we want to clone a human. We could fill in the missing gaps of the DNA using the DNA of a species alive today — frogs perhaps! But then we’d end up with a mixed up brew of DNA that didn’t really know what it was! “What we do instead, is employ the top scientistsin the world! They use magic to double check the DNA and painstakingly piece it back together until we complete the code! And now we’re ready to make a human baby!” Cloud Dreamer gestured to the screen. “Eventually, we’ll have some dramatic music scored to accompany all this.” A restraining frame flipped up. “And then the tour moves on!” The entire seating platform advanced along a track to its next stop looking through a one way mirror where a group of ponies in lab coats were busy working tending several human babies. “Amazing!” Flim remarked. “Are these characters auto… auto-motive?” “Oh no! There are no animatronics here! Those ponies are the real miracle workers!” “But how do you even start and gestate the embryo?” Lyra demanded to know. “Can we see the little ones?” Fluttershy inquired. “How do you get out of this thing?” Bon Bon asked. “Later, I promise!” He looked at Bon Bon. “You really can’t get out,” Cloud Dreamer protested. “It’s sort of a ride.” Big Mac snorted, braced his huge forelegs against the restraining gate and pushed it back down, which forced the ride to stop and allowed the guests to stage a mutiny and escape their seats. “Can they do that?” Flim asked incredulously as Cloud Dancer shrugged and followed his wayward guests into the nursery. Overhead, a speaker reminded every pony when the boat for the mainland would be leaving. Lyra inspected a humming piece of machinery that suddenly beeped for attention. She jumped back as a pink unicorn with a purplish mane grinned and opened a small door. “Ah! My lunch is ready!” “Ah, Starlight!” Cloud Dreamer addressed her in a proud, nearly paternal tone. “I’d like you to meet our guests! Doctor Lyra Heartstrings, Miss Bon Bon, Doctor Fluttershy and Doctor MacIntosh.’ “It’s a pleasure!” Starlight greeted. Fluttershy nodded pleasantly in reply before resuming cooing over one of the tiny human foals. “Starlight Glimmer is the head of our applied magic department! She was second in her class at Princess Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns!” Cloud Dreamer praised. “What happened to number one?” Big Mac asked, earning a glower from Starlight. “Sunset Shimmer! Princess Celestia’s prized pupil! Aka ‘The Chosen One’!” She snorted. “That arrogant, holier than thou art bitch from a Diamond Dog’s den!” Starlight Glimmer shook her head in partial apology. “I’m sorry. Every time I think of her, I go a little crazy. Like I just want to go read Camel Marxand be done with this stratified society of ours! Not your fault. Anyway, she vanished. Princess Celestia replaced her with a purple plushie, I think.” Big Mac backed up slightly. “No offending intended ma’am.” The smile flashed back onto Starlight’s expression. “Oh, don’t worry! No harm done!” She turned to Cloud Dreamer. “I was just about to call you! The latest batch just came in from Site B.” “Wonderful! I always like to be here when they arrive.” “Site B?” Lyra asked. “Oh! That’s not important right now!” Cloud Dreamer waved a hoof dismissively. “What is important, is that I insist on seeing each new arrival as soon as possible! I want them to recognize me — feel safe and comfortable around me.” “Except the ones born in the wild,” Bon Bon noted. “Oh they can’t breed, “You sure ‘bout that?” Big Mac asked. “Population control is essential, therefore, we only breed males. “But all life starts as female!” Lyra objected. “Yes, however,a population of female Rednecks would be a bit uninteresting, so we’ve engineered them to be male. Heavy testosterone supplements in their diet helps.” Lyra looked at the tiny baby snuggling in Fluttershy’s forehooves as the implications sank in. “You bred Rednecks? And without females? Are you insane?” “I think we already know the answer to that.” Big Mac quipped. “Trouble is that’s just the half of it. Life is simply too unpredictable and surer than kudzu, it gets loose no matter what you do to keep it contained!” “Are you suggesting that a population of males is going to reproduce?” Starlight Glimmer asked doubtfully. “Nope. Just sayin’ that life don’t ever sit still. It always pushes and the inexplicable is the rule not the exception! You think you’ve thought of everything and you have until you find out you haven’t. But then it’s just too late!” Big Mac shrugged. “And that’s that.” “And that’s that.” Cloud Dreamer answered not wanting to belabor the matter yet again. “Well then! More tour later! The chef has laid out a very nice lunch for us all If you’ll follow me?” They followed Cloud Dreamer past the Redneck pit: a heavily built enclosure with electrified wire and concrete walls several feet thick. Overhead, a crane was lowering a steer into the enclosure. Said steer belonging to a feral and non-sentient variety. “What are they doing?” Lyra asked. “Feeding them I think.” Cloud Dreamer answered. “Anyway, I hear that Honey Glaze has managed to procure some exotic near eastern oats for us!” Lyra watched in fascination as the steer was lowered and the under brush rustled. A couple of minutes of screaming and it was all over. Bon Bon was visibly shaken. “If I had my way, they would all be destroyed,” a scowling pegasus with a yellow coat and orange mane said with conviction as she came up to meet them. “Ah! This is Spitfire,” Cloud Dreamer introduced. “My game warden! She’s an alarmist, I’m afraid, but she knows Rednecks better than anyone.” “Manticores, Hydras, I’ve hunted most things that can hunt you, but nothing comes close to the viciousness of these things.” “That’s why we’re taking extreme precautions,” Cloud Dreamer replied. “What about intelligence?” Lyra asked. “Dumb-ass stupid,” Spitfire answered. “One of the things that make them so dangerous. Especially, the big one. We had eight originally and then he taught the others how to make a crude firecracker. Blew up five of the others before we could get in to stop it! Most predators, if you can give them a scare, remember and cut you a wide berth. They’re cautious. Not like these things. We have to feed them like this because before that they kept charging the electric fences when the feeders would come. Always in the same places. The fence would stun them but they never made the connection between the fence and the pain. They just kept coming.” Behind them the crane lifted up the torn cradle from which hung a single leg — all that remained of the Rednecks’ meal. Cloud Dreamer seemed to take this all in stride. “Yes well! Who's hungry?” Author's Note Kudzu is a fast growing plant introduced to the United States from Japan as ornamental foliage and to combat soil erosion. Unfortunately it tends to choke out native plants and is now very much a nuisance plant. It is one of several examples that Big Mac could cite of introducing new species into an environment with the 'Best of intentions' and 'completely under our control' other examples being the Gypsy Moth Caterpillar, which was supposed to be a boon to the silk industry but now routinely devastates New England forests. And the Nutria, a South American rodent introduced to the bayous of Louisiana as a boon to the fur trade but is another out of control species that has proven mainly a boon as a food source for the American Alligator. So much for 'Completely under control' Test RunChapter Three: Test Run Cloud Dreamer was in full pitch mode. The imported Trottomann oats sat disregarded at present. “For the more adventuresome, they can take what we call the ‘Downtown’ tour. That’s not ready yet. We will open with the basic tour you’re about to take. New attractions will come online every six to twelve months or so. The designs are simply spectacular! We’ve spared no expense!” “And we can charge anything we want!” Flim declared in satisfaction. “Two thousand bits a day. Ten thousand! And ponies will pay it! And of course the merchandising!” “Now Mr. Flim,” Cloud Dreamer chided. “This park is not meant just for the super rich. We have created wonders everypony, the whole world has a right to see!” “Of course.” Flim hastily agreed. “We can have a coupon day or something.” “I’ve heard more humility at a Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting,” Big MacIntosh muttered. Cloud Dreamer tilted his head. “I’m sorry?” He questioned at the non sequitur. Big MacIntosh chuckled without humor. “You’ve taken the greatest power of all, the power of creation itself into your hooves and you treat it like a toy!” “Come now Doctor MacIntosh! I’d say things are quite different from what we had feared.” Flim offered in protest. “Yup! They’re a whole lot worse!” “Really… I don’t think it’s necessary to…” Cloud Dreamer cut Flim off. “No Mr. Flim. I want to hear what he has to say. I truly do! Please Doctor. Continue,” He invited Big Mac. “Alright then. Here’s the thing. That knowledge… that power… You got it cheap. You didn’t earn it so you don’t respect it! You took what others done and you went from there, but you did it with no concern, no concept, and therefore no ownership of the responsibility for that power.” He banged a hoof on the table. “The only concern I see here is how many bits you can milk out of this!” “I don’t believe you are giving us fair due here,” Cloud Dreamer answered him. “Our scientists are doing things nopony has ever done before!” Big Mac leaned forward. “They’re so wrapped up in what they can do but none of them stop and think if they ought to. Sometimes learning and progress is realizing what road not to travel,” Cloud Dreamer paused in thought and then pointed a hoof at Big Mac. “Rocs. If I were to create a population of Saddle Arabian Rocs, then you would have nothing to say.” “It’s not the same thing at all,” Big Mac disagreed. “We’re not talkin’ about critters in danger from lost habitat. Humans had their shot and they blew it… literally!” Cloud Dreamer.shook his head. “I just don’t understand how you as a scientist can turn your flank on the possibilities! Can you not see the potential for discovery ahead of us? How can we look at this opportunity and not act upon it?” “One,” Doctor MacIntosh replied. “Discovery tends to be a rather violent and messy business. Sometimes the very act of discovery destroys the subject of its intent! Second is that true discovery is inherently unpredictable. You are so certain of how this will all work out but you have no real idea because that’s by very definition unknown.” Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably. “Well… I’m worried. Do you really think you know nearly enough about an extinct world that you think you can control it? These creatures don’t know it’s our world they’re in and I’m not sure they’ll really care. What I am sure is that if they feel threatened, they’ll respond. Maybe violently,” Cloud Dreamer turned to Lyra imploringly. “Doctor Heartstrings, if anypony here can understand what I’m trying to accomplish here?” Lyra leaned forward, her expression a war between her concern and undeniable fascination. “This has all happened so fast! It’s all so overwhelming. I don’t yet know what to think. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but… Humans and Ponies… Two species separated by eons of time and now you’re throwing them together. How can we have any clue what to expect?” Cloud Dreamer shook his head in disbelief. “The only pony on my side is the blood sucking lawyer!” Flim sighed. “Thanks,” At this juncture, a steward trotted in and whispered a message to Cloud Dreamer, who nodded and dismissed him as a smile grew on his muzzle. “Ah! They’re here!” Cloud Dreamer led his guests back down the spiral staircase and down the steps of the visitor center. “The five of you will be sharing the tour with a couple of special guests I’ve arranged for to represent our target audience as it were,” A carriage pulled up and the driver stepped out and opened the passenger door, standing aside for the small brown Earth Pony colt who practically jumped out in excitement. A curious unicorn filly with a white coat and pink and lavender mane followed somewhat more sedately. “Grandpa!” The colt embraced Cloud Dreamer enthusiastically. “Button Mash! You’re getting big!” He looked at the filly. “And who do we have here?” “Oh! Grandpa, this is Sweetie Belle! She’s my friend!” “I see!” He turned to the filly. “Hello there! It’s a pleasure to meet you Sweetie Belle!” Behind him. Big Mac smirked. Fluttershy suppressed a smile of her own. “So, how was the trip Button? Did you both enjoy the airship?” “Oh yeah! It was great! Oh! Mom says you need to come visit soon!” “Ah yes! It’s been quite the while since I’ve had her Brown Betty and I know I certainly owe her seeing how hard I’ve been working your father lately. And I fully intend to make it up to her! But today, you and your friend are going to see what your father’s hard work has helped me create! All of this! And I wanted you to be the first to see it!” Cloud Dreamer then led the group down to where two carriages sat above a rail. “Look at them! Remarkable aren’t they?” “No drivers?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Are they magic?” “Oh no! No my dear! All the more remarkable! They’re electric! The most sophisticated technology! No expense was spared! They’ll be your transport for this afternoon,” Sweetie Belle looked over the carriage and noted a small thing that resembled the screen on a video game console. “What is that?” “It’s an interactive CD ROM This is one of the things my dad was working on! Look!” Button Mash poked it with a forehoof. “It responds to touch and it tells you what you want to know,” “Well come on then!” Cloud Dreamer directed. “Miss Fluttershy, You and Miss Bon Bon here in this car. Flim… You and Miss Heartstrings in the front car.” Cloud Dreamer directed. “I need to get up to the control room and I’ll see you after the tour!” He said as he trotted up the steps back into the visitor center. Big Mac gave a mild chuckle. “I think I’ll ride in the back car. More leg room,” He told Lyra as Button Mash tossed his saddlebag in back of the front car. “Come on Sweetie Belle! This is going to be so cool!” Sweetie Belle nodded and then quirked her head as she recognized Lyra. “Wait! Aren’t you Lyra Heartstrings? I have your book!” Lyra quirked an uncomfortable smile. “Um… That’s great. Really great!” “One thing I really don’t understand,” Sweetie Belle told her. “Why is it that some books say that humans had a small brain and other books claim humans had a large brain capacity?” Lyra paused. It was actually a fair and considered question. “Well, it had us confused for a long time but then we found out it was gender dimorphism! You see, the female humans normally have large brain cavities while the males generally had brains the size of walnuts. The males compensate by having a larger second brain lower down!” In the control room, Cloud Dreamer was met with the concerned face of Spitfire. “Looks like the weather ponies have decided to dump a load on us. Heavy rains and gale force winds,” “I thought we had that scheduled for thursday?” Cloud Dreamer objected. “Not the best environment for our first tour and I thought that they were still setting the walls over at paddock fifteen?” “They are,” Trixie Lulamoon answered in annoyance. The Operations Manager passed a work schedule to Cloud Dreamer. “Trixie will be having words with somepony and Trixie has not seen Flam all day! Trixie is going to plant her bucking hooves into his bucking hide!” Cloud Dreamer nodded, wondering once again why he tolerated the behavior of the park’s chief programmer. Unfortunately the answer was that no matter how irksome the pony was, only a few ponies could match his programming skills, and the ones that Cloud Dreamer had (such as Button’s father 8-Bit) were sorely needed in his R&D labs. Still, Cloud Dreamer had high hopes that soon, he could dispense with Flam’s services.“There will be time for that later Trixie. In the meantime, start the tour if you would,” Trixie nodded and her horn glowed as she input the commands to start the tour. “Hold onto your flanks…” Author's Note So the last guests are here and Trixie is channeling her inner Sam Jackson... Read, Enjoy, Comment and tune in next time... "We're coming up on the Tyrannostar paddock..." "Morgan Freepony?"
Invitation“All right, Dust Seeker, let’s have that deep scan on the main monitor.” Lyra Heartstrings smiled in anticipation as the earth pony adjusted the knobs on his equipment and an eerie image resolved into shape on the screen in front of them. With her team anxiously clustering around, Lyra nodded as she studied the scan. “Just as we hoped. See? There are the beer cans… apparently most of them crushed. I’ll wager that the dent marks match the shape of the cranium. Magnificent!” “Looks like a big monkey to me,” the obnoxious and faintly bored voice of Diamond Tiara spoke up as Silver Spoon nodded her agreement, somewhat ruining Lyra’s satisfaction of the moment. Lyra advanced on the pair with a dangerous glint in her eyes and a deceivingly amused tone in her voice.“Monkey huh?” she repeated. “Well let’s think about this.” Lyra smiled coldly. “Let’s pretend that it’s the late Cretineous Period and you find yourself standing face to face with this ‘big monkey’.” Lyra paused as if in thought. “You look at him and he looks at you. Now you think that he’s like E-Rex and that if you stay perfectly still, maybe he won’t notice you. So you freeze and watch as he takes a drink of his beer.” Lyra turned thrusting a hoof at Diamond Tiara. “And that’s when the attack comes! Not from the front, but the sides. From the two Rednecks you didn’t even know were there. Because, you see, the Redneck is a pack hunter…Of course it’s not quick. It’s actually rather messy. Maybe you’re hit here-” Lyra poked at Diamond Tiara’s side. “or maybe here-” She poked to her chest. “because they’re lousy shots.” “But the point is- when they tie you to the front of their buggy, you’re still alive! So maybe you should show a little respect hmm?” Diamond Tiara nodded vigorously. Lyra trotted back up the hill where Bon Bon was waiting. “You know…if you wanted to scare her, you could have just thrown her to a bugbear,” Bon Bon teased. Lyra shrugged. “Sorry. I guess I didn’t handle that well.” “Like I said, I would have thrown her to a bugbear.” They shared a look and laughed. “Bon Bon? Do you see that?” Lyra squinted at the sky, unsure at first of the motion her eyes had noted. Bon Bon’s eyes strained, “It looks like an airship of some kind. I think it’s coming down and heading this way.” Sure enough the small dot rapidly grew in their sight as it approached. Lyra quickly called out orders to her team. “Secure those tarps tight! Hurry! We’ve got to get our dig covered!” She and Bon Bon hurried back down to the site and began furiously lashing down tarps as Dust Seeker frantically zipped up his gear tent lest the fouling dust and dirt kicked up by the airship’s propellers get into the delicate components. Lyra scowled up at the airship.. “Somepony’s going to pay for this…” About fifteen minutes later, Lyra and Bon Bon retreated back up to the trailer on top of the hill. Bon Bon glanced over at the now landed airship and the logo painted on the side. “Pon-Gen? What the heck would they want here?” “Pon-Gen? Isn’t that that big Pharmaceuticals and Technology company?” Bon Bon nodded. “That’s the one.” “Some genius probably wants us to field test a new sunblock, or bug screen, or something.” “Although the thing that really gets me, is that if they offered us six weeks funding, I’d do it.” “We’ll find out soon enough.” Bon Bon opened the trailer door. As they stepped inside, they saw an older looking unicorn rummaging through the refrigerator and removing a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Special Reserve Zap Apple Cider. “Hey! Who do you think you are? We were saving that for…” “For today! I assure you!” the stallion announced amicably. “Oh! I’m forgetting my manners! Have a seat won’t you?” He popped the cork on the bottle. “If I could just find some glasses…” “You still haven’t answered my question,” Lyra said irritably. “Who do you think you are?” The stallion paused from retrieving glasses from one of the upper cabinets, a slightly befuddled expression on his muzzle. “Well… I think I’m Cloud Dreamer.” Bon Bon’s jaw dropped. “Cloud Dreamer? As in the owner of Dreamer International? That Cloud Dreamer?” The old stallion nodded. “Yes. That’s the one, I think.” He pointed a hoof at Lyra. “But what’s more important is that I know who YOU are, Lyra Heartstrings! Your work in Human Paleontology is most impressive! And THAT is why I’m here!” Lyra shook her head. “I’m not following you.” “Oh! Well it’s quite simple you see! I have a certain project I’ve been working on and we’ve recently hit a bit of a snag and now my investors need some reassurance. That’s where you come in, Miss Heartstrings.” “Well that makes things clearer,” Bon Bon muttered. “I promise I’ll explain it a bit more clearly once we’re airborne.” He gestured to the airship outside. “Wait! We can’t just up and leave our work!” Lyra protested. “How about if I arrange to fund your research for the next three years?” Lyra and Bon Bon looked at each other. “Dust Seeker! You’re in charge until I get back!” Lyra shouted down to the ponies in the dig site. She looked at Cloud Dreamer. “I think we can accommodate your schedule.” “Splendid!” He opened the door to the airship and gestured for them to enter. After taking a moment to head up front to speak with the flight crew, Cloud Dreamer returned to introduce the other ponies they would be sharing the trip with. “First is my chief legal adviser, Mr. Flim- the source of my distress. And this is Miss Fluttershy. You may be aware of her work with exotic species.” Cloud Dreamer smiled and then turned a resigned expression to the other pony in the compartment. “And lastly is Big MacIntosh, Doctor of Fancy Mathematics.” He shook his head. “I’m afraid he doesn’t share my enthusiasm for our little project. Do you Mr. MacIntosh?” “Enope.” Cloud Dreamer shook his head. “You’ll have to excuse Doctor MacIntosh. He suffers from a deplorable excess of personality!” He then shot a look at Flim. “You see? I bring scientists and you bring rock stars!” MacIntosh snorted at this remark. “If we could have some idea just what this project is?” Bon Bon pressed. “Oh!” Cloud Dreamer nodded with enthusiasm. “Believe me when I tell you it’s unlike anything you have ever seen, heard of, or imagined! You see, it’s been my fascination since I was a young colt! Ever since my first trip to the museum in Manehattan! Humans have fascinated me endlessly and to that end, I want to share that fascination with the entire world!” “Are we talking about a new museum?” Bon Bon asked. Big Mac simply rolled his eyes. “Oh no! The collection of specimens at the Natural History Museum in Canterlot is splendid! But that’s just the thing! It’s all static! What I have to share is a park of living breathing humans as no pony has ever seen before!” “Living humans?!” Lyra’s eyes widened in shock and surprise, certain she must have misheard. “Oh yes! Genuine! Living! Breathing humans! And all I have to do to share this accomplishment with the world is to calm the nerves of my board of directors. They seem to think I may have taken leave of my sanity. But if members of the academic community such as yourself were to endorse this park, then the accountants will settle down and let the rest of us to move forward.” “I can’t believe what I’m hearing.” Lyra shook her head. “Are you saying you’ve managed to clone a human?” “Oh yes! Naturally I can’t discuss specifics for proprietary reasons but yes!” Big Mac folded his front hooves and leaned back. “And you just don’t get it that your thinking just don’t add up!” “Oh yes!” Cloud Dreamer gestured a hoof to Big Mac. “Now the philosopher speaks! You never have been able to explain to me that theory of yours.” MacIntosh inhaled a deep breath and sighed. “Humans ruled the world in their time. The ultimate predators and now you done brought them back. The number one apex predator of their time just like ponies are the apex rulers now and you’re gonna bring them together. You CAN’T have TWO number ones at the same time! So the question is which of them moves down the food chain. And right now you know nothing about how they’ll react… THEY know you’d probably taste good with ketchup. I’d say that gives them the edge.” “A rather alarmist view.” Cloud Dreamer scoffed. “You’ll see! We have everything under control In the bustling market square, Suri Polomare sat nervously waiting for her contact. She spied the lean yellow coated unicorn who trotted over with an amused look in his eyes. “Are you sure you weren’t followed?” Suri demanded in a hushed voice. “Relax, Suri old mare!” The unicorn laughed confidently. “Nopony here cares! And in a few hours, your company is going to catch up on years of research.” He paused. “If the price is right of course.” He sat down with a slight tone of warning. Suri smiled wryly as she pushed a saddlebag loaded with bits across the table. “It’s not like this is the first time I’ve ever done this, Mister Flam. How do you think our company gets most of our breakthroughs. Just remember: be at the docks by 1700 hours WITH the samples. I’ll be there with the rest of your money.” “Of course! I suppose you have some idea on how I’m supposed to get the samples out of the lab?” Suri smirked and set a six pack of Colt Cola on the table. “The bottoms unscrew. The top actually contains soda. Just keep it cold. After all, who doesn’t like a frosty cold can of Colt?” “You ponies think of everything don’t you?” Flam laughed as Suri put the cans in a small cooler and passed the cooler to him. “And remember one more thing Mr. Flam.” Suri warned. “You fail to show? You try and double cross us? We WILL find you and you’ll regret it… Author's Note The spelling of the Cretineous Period is correct. Literally Age of the Cretins.
WelcomeChapter Two: Welcome After about two hours of flying, an exceptional in flight meal was served for Cloud Dreamer and his guests. “No expense spared!” He had noted with satisfaction as the food was served by immaculately dressed stewards. Bon Bon certainly could believe that as they ate and enjoyed polite conversation before Cloud Dreamer excused himself and retired to his private sleeping berth. Flim also shortly excused himself as the scientists delved into shop talk amongst themselves. Doctor MacIntosh watched the three mares in amusement until finally everypony drifted off to sleep. Now several hours later, Bon Bon nudged the still dozing Lyra. “Lyra! Look out the window! I think we’re almost there!” “Wherever ‘there’ is,” Big Mac remarked as Lyra blinked awake and looked out the window next to her. Indeed she could feel the ship gradually descend over a lush tropical island and into a verdant valley. “Ah! Good!” Cloud Dreamer’s upbeat voice cut in as he and Flim emerged from the aft section of the passenger deck. “You’re all awake!” He grinned. “You’ll want to strap in ladies.” Cloud Dreamer helped Fluttershy with her harness. “This part of the ride can get just a bit interesting!” He looked to Big Mac as he double checked Fluttershy’s harness. “I suppose you should as well Doctor MacIntosh.” He took his own seat. Big Mac looked dismally at the harness frame which clearly had not been designed with a pony of his size in mind. He shrugged after studying it for a moment and simply crossed the two ends over his chest and tied them into a knot. That was just at the right time, for the airship sharply dropped as if it had been sitting on a table and was suddenly shoved off. Lyra turned noticeably more pale as butterflies rose in her belly and her last meal made threat to exit from whence it had entered. Fluttershy let off a nervous smile as the craft shuddered. “Whoo hoo!” her soft voice chimed with exhilaration. Finally the ship settled down into a much more gentle descent. Big Mac looked distinctly ill. “That should be it for the bumps!” Cloud Dreamer announced as the craft headed into her moorings. Big Mac heaved a sigh of relief just as the airship came to a stop with one last thud. He then shot Cloud Dreamer a look, which by all rights should have felled the unicorn on the spot, but instead, earned a look of mischief and amusement. “Oh! Sorry! Forgot about that one!” Big Mac arched an eyebrow at him as Cloud Dreamer released the catch on his harness and opened the hatch, waiting for his guests to follow. Big Mac brought up the end of the party pausing only to give one last glare at Cloud Dreamer before exiting. They were ushered into waiting carriages down a gently winding path. Fluttershy in particular was fascinated by the selections of exotic foliage. One particular plant she was certain was an extinct specimen of the Erythroxylaceae family. She found it most puzzling as the carriages came to a stop. As Fluttershy excitedly showed the specimen she had plucked loose to Bon Bon, Lyra stood up and stared. “Bon Bon?” Lyra asked. “Hmmm?” “Bon Bon?” “Yes?” Lyra poked her in the shoulder. “Bon Bon! Look!” Bon Bon turned her head and thus joined Lyra in an impossible sight. Humans! Scores of humans! Milling about contentedly. One approached showing no concern or fear of their presence. “Welcome to Canada, eh? We don’t have a Tim Horton’s yet but I’m sure we can find a good pilsner for you!” Lyra grinned. “Bon Bon! Look at them! This changes everything! These aren’t cold blooded slow creatures! They’re warm blooded! I can’t believe it! This is amazing!” Big Mac shook his head. “The crazy old buck really done it.” Cloud Dreamer grinned as he trotted over to Lyra. “This… It’s all real?” Lyra asked in awestruck whisper. “Oh yes!” “How?” “I’ll show you.” A thirty minute drive led from ‘Canada’ to the Visitor’s Center where Cloud Dreamer enthusiastically led the way through the main entrance, greeting the worker ponies as they hurriedly put the finishing touches on the building. In the center of the hall was what Lyra could only describe as a rocket; although it was much larger than any she had ever seen. Overhead, a banner with the words ‘When Humans Ruled the World’ hung above it all. “It’s the most advanced amusement park in the world! We've incorporated all the latest technologies! I’m not just talking about rides! Everypony has rides! Colter Island has rides! What I mean are actual living biological attractions so astounding! So amazing that they’ll capture the fascination of the entire world!” He proclaimed as they proceeded up a flight of stairs that curved around the huge rocket. “So what do you think Lyra?” “That I’m out of a job?” “Extinct is more like it.” Big Mac quipped as he followed behind them. Lyra shot him a look, which he answered with a shrug. Cloud Dancer chuckled as he led the way to the auditorium. “You know, I’ve had this dream for a very long time! For decades, I’ve dreamed of building this park! The only question was ‘how’. I searched very hard for the answer. At one point, a scientist in my employment came to me with a piece of amber! And there was a mosquito trapped inside. So he told me that we could extract the blood siphoned by the mosquito and then we would have DNA we could clone from!” He shook his head. “Naturally, I thanked him for his enthusiasm, but even supposing we found mosquitos preserved and even supposing they had blood which we could extract, I had to ask him just how we would be sure it was human blood? Imagine if I had poured millions of bits into that and we had ended up cloning a two foot long primitive parasprite! No my friends! We had much further to look than that I assure you!” He ushered them into their seats. “And now, I’m going to show you!” He nodded to the projectionist in the back to start the film. “This is still in early production, but, well, just watch!” On screen a very familiar looking unicorn walked to a dias and looked out at the audience. “Hello!” “Do say hello!” Cloud Dreamer encouraged his guests. “Oh, hello!” Fluttershy greeted amicably. “Hello! Oh hello, Cloud!” “Oh! My lines! That’s right!” “Well fine, fine! But how did I get here?” “Well I’ll show you! Just hold out your hoof…” Cloud Dreamer made as if to prick his celluloid doppelganger. “Ouch!” The pony on screen jerked his hoof back. “That hurt!” “I’m sorry about that; but you see, I needed a little of your DNA. That’s key to the miracle of cloning!” Lyra and her companions watched as new copies of Cloud Dreamer now stepped out from behind the first and their host in real time sat down. “But where would you get the DNA?” Lyra wondered aloud. Bon Bon hushed her as on screen, a cartoonish character spiraled into existence above the pricked hoof. “Mister DNA! Where did you come from?” “From your blood! A single drop of blood contains billions of strands of DNA! The building blocks of life! A strand of DNA is a blueprint for building a living thing! Like a human for example- humans may have gone extinct long ago, but luckily for us, they left their blueprints behind! We just had to know where to look!” On screen was animation of two hard hatted ponies digging their way down to a fossilized human. “Finding fossilized human remains is just the start! For many years it was believed that when an animal became a fossil, all the soft tissue and the DNA inside was lost! But recently, we've discovered that in some cases, some of that tissue still remains! Humanic Park scientists extract this soft tissue and that’s where the magic really begins! A complete DNA strand contains billions of genetic codes and all that has to be intact if we want to clone a human. We could fill in the missing gaps of the DNA using the DNA of a species alive today — frogs perhaps! But then we’d end up with a mixed up brew of DNA that didn’t really know what it was! “What we do instead, is employ the top scientistsin the world! They use magic to double check the DNA and painstakingly piece it back together until we complete the code! And now we’re ready to make a human baby!” Cloud Dreamer gestured to the screen. “Eventually, we’ll have some dramatic music scored to accompany all this.” A restraining frame flipped up. “And then the tour moves on!” The entire seating platform advanced along a track to its next stop looking through a one way mirror where a group of ponies in lab coats were busy working tending several human babies. “Amazing!” Flim remarked. “Are these characters auto… auto-motive?” “Oh no! There are no animatronics here! Those ponies are the real miracle workers!” “But how do you even start and gestate the embryo?” Lyra demanded to know. “Can we see the little ones?” Fluttershy inquired. “How do you get out of this thing?” Bon Bon asked. “Later, I promise!” He looked at Bon Bon. “You really can’t get out,” Cloud Dreamer protested. “It’s sort of a ride.” Big Mac snorted, braced his huge forelegs against the restraining gate and pushed it back down, which forced the ride to stop and allowed the guests to stage a mutiny and escape their seats. “Can they do that?” Flim asked incredulously as Cloud Dancer shrugged and followed his wayward guests into the nursery. Overhead, a speaker reminded every pony when the boat for the mainland would be leaving. Lyra inspected a humming piece of machinery that suddenly beeped for attention. She jumped back as a pink unicorn with a purplish mane grinned and opened a small door. “Ah! My lunch is ready!” “Ah, Starlight!” Cloud Dreamer addressed her in a proud, nearly paternal tone. “I’d like you to meet our guests! Doctor Lyra Heartstrings, Miss Bon Bon, Doctor Fluttershy and Doctor MacIntosh.’ “It’s a pleasure!” Starlight greeted. Fluttershy nodded pleasantly in reply before resuming cooing over one of the tiny human foals. “Starlight Glimmer is the head of our applied magic department! She was second in her class at Princess Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns!” Cloud Dreamer praised. “What happened to number one?” Big Mac asked, earning a glower from Starlight. “Sunset Shimmer! Princess Celestia’s prized pupil! Aka ‘The Chosen One’!” She snorted. “That arrogant, holier than thou art bitch from a Diamond Dog’s den!” Starlight Glimmer shook her head in partial apology. “I’m sorry. Every time I think of her, I go a little crazy. Like I just want to go read Camel Marxand be done with this stratified society of ours! Not your fault. Anyway, she vanished. Princess Celestia replaced her with a purple plushie, I think.” Big Mac backed up slightly. “No offending intended ma’am.” The smile flashed back onto Starlight’s expression. “Oh, don’t worry! No harm done!” She turned to Cloud Dreamer. “I was just about to call you! The latest batch just came in from Site B.” “Wonderful! I always like to be here when they arrive.” “Site B?” Lyra asked. “Oh! That’s not important right now!” Cloud Dreamer waved a hoof dismissively. “What is important, is that I insist on seeing each new arrival as soon as possible! I want them to recognize me — feel safe and comfortable around me.” “Except the ones born in the wild,” Bon Bon noted. “Oh they can’t breed, “You sure ‘bout that?” Big Mac asked. “Population control is essential, therefore, we only breed males. “But all life starts as female!” Lyra objected. “Yes, however,a population of female Rednecks would be a bit uninteresting, so we’ve engineered them to be male. Heavy testosterone supplements in their diet helps.” Lyra looked at the tiny baby snuggling in Fluttershy’s forehooves as the implications sank in. “You bred Rednecks? And without females? Are you insane?” “I think we already know the answer to that.” Big Mac quipped. “Trouble is that’s just the half of it. Life is simply too unpredictable and surer than kudzu, it gets loose no matter what you do to keep it contained!” “Are you suggesting that a population of males is going to reproduce?” Starlight Glimmer asked doubtfully. “Nope. Just sayin’ that life don’t ever sit still. It always pushes and the inexplicable is the rule not the exception! You think you’ve thought of everything and you have until you find out you haven’t. But then it’s just too late!” Big Mac shrugged. “And that’s that.” “And that’s that.” Cloud Dreamer answered not wanting to belabor the matter yet again. “Well then! More tour later! The chef has laid out a very nice lunch for us all If you’ll follow me?” They followed Cloud Dreamer past the Redneck pit: a heavily built enclosure with electrified wire and concrete walls several feet thick. Overhead, a crane was lowering a steer into the enclosure. Said steer belonging to a feral and non-sentient variety. “What are they doing?” Lyra asked. “Feeding them I think.” Cloud Dreamer answered. “Anyway, I hear that Honey Glaze has managed to procure some exotic near eastern oats for us!” Lyra watched in fascination as the steer was lowered and the under brush rustled. A couple of minutes of screaming and it was all over. Bon Bon was visibly shaken. “If I had my way, they would all be destroyed,” a scowling pegasus with a yellow coat and orange mane said with conviction as she came up to meet them. “Ah! This is Spitfire,” Cloud Dreamer introduced. “My game warden! She’s an alarmist, I’m afraid, but she knows Rednecks better than anyone.” “Manticores, Hydras, I’ve hunted most things that can hunt you, but nothing comes close to the viciousness of these things.” “That’s why we’re taking extreme precautions,” Cloud Dreamer replied. “What about intelligence?” Lyra asked. “Dumb-ass stupid,” Spitfire answered. “One of the things that make them so dangerous. Especially, the big one. We had eight originally and then he taught the others how to make a crude firecracker. Blew up five of the others before we could get in to stop it! Most predators, if you can give them a scare, remember and cut you a wide berth. They’re cautious. Not like these things. We have to feed them like this because before that they kept charging the electric fences when the feeders would come. Always in the same places. The fence would stun them but they never made the connection between the fence and the pain. They just kept coming.” Behind them the crane lifted up the torn cradle from which hung a single leg — all that remained of the Rednecks’ meal. Cloud Dreamer seemed to take this all in stride. “Yes well! Who's hungry?” Author's Note Kudzu is a fast growing plant introduced to the United States from Japan as ornamental foliage and to combat soil erosion. Unfortunately it tends to choke out native plants and is now very much a nuisance plant. It is one of several examples that Big Mac could cite of introducing new species into an environment with the 'Best of intentions' and 'completely under our control' other examples being the Gypsy Moth Caterpillar, which was supposed to be a boon to the silk industry but now routinely devastates New England forests. And the Nutria, a South American rodent introduced to the bayous of Louisiana as a boon to the fur trade but is another out of control species that has proven mainly a boon as a food source for the American Alligator. So much for 'Completely under control'
Test RunChapter Three: Test Run Cloud Dreamer was in full pitch mode. The imported Trottomann oats sat disregarded at present. “For the more adventuresome, they can take what we call the ‘Downtown’ tour. That’s not ready yet. We will open with the basic tour you’re about to take. New attractions will come online every six to twelve months or so. The designs are simply spectacular! We’ve spared no expense!” “And we can charge anything we want!” Flim declared in satisfaction. “Two thousand bits a day. Ten thousand! And ponies will pay it! And of course the merchandising!” “Now Mr. Flim,” Cloud Dreamer chided. “This park is not meant just for the super rich. We have created wonders everypony, the whole world has a right to see!” “Of course.” Flim hastily agreed. “We can have a coupon day or something.” “I’ve heard more humility at a Rainbow Dash Fan Club meeting,” Big MacIntosh muttered. Cloud Dreamer tilted his head. “I’m sorry?” He questioned at the non sequitur. Big MacIntosh chuckled without humor. “You’ve taken the greatest power of all, the power of creation itself into your hooves and you treat it like a toy!” “Come now Doctor MacIntosh! I’d say things are quite different from what we had feared.” Flim offered in protest. “Yup! They’re a whole lot worse!” “Really… I don’t think it’s necessary to…” Cloud Dreamer cut Flim off. “No Mr. Flim. I want to hear what he has to say. I truly do! Please Doctor. Continue,” He invited Big Mac. “Alright then. Here’s the thing. That knowledge… that power… You got it cheap. You didn’t earn it so you don’t respect it! You took what others done and you went from there, but you did it with no concern, no concept, and therefore no ownership of the responsibility for that power.” He banged a hoof on the table. “The only concern I see here is how many bits you can milk out of this!” “I don’t believe you are giving us fair due here,” Cloud Dreamer answered him. “Our scientists are doing things nopony has ever done before!” Big Mac leaned forward. “They’re so wrapped up in what they can do but none of them stop and think if they ought to. Sometimes learning and progress is realizing what road not to travel,” Cloud Dreamer paused in thought and then pointed a hoof at Big Mac. “Rocs. If I were to create a population of Saddle Arabian Rocs, then you would have nothing to say.” “It’s not the same thing at all,” Big Mac disagreed. “We’re not talkin’ about critters in danger from lost habitat. Humans had their shot and they blew it… literally!” Cloud Dreamer.shook his head. “I just don’t understand how you as a scientist can turn your flank on the possibilities! Can you not see the potential for discovery ahead of us? How can we look at this opportunity and not act upon it?” “One,” Doctor MacIntosh replied. “Discovery tends to be a rather violent and messy business. Sometimes the very act of discovery destroys the subject of its intent! Second is that true discovery is inherently unpredictable. You are so certain of how this will all work out but you have no real idea because that’s by very definition unknown.” Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably. “Well… I’m worried. Do you really think you know nearly enough about an extinct world that you think you can control it? These creatures don’t know it’s our world they’re in and I’m not sure they’ll really care. What I am sure is that if they feel threatened, they’ll respond. Maybe violently,” Cloud Dreamer turned to Lyra imploringly. “Doctor Heartstrings, if anypony here can understand what I’m trying to accomplish here?” Lyra leaned forward, her expression a war between her concern and undeniable fascination. “This has all happened so fast! It’s all so overwhelming. I don’t yet know what to think. I don’t want to jump to conclusions but… Humans and Ponies… Two species separated by eons of time and now you’re throwing them together. How can we have any clue what to expect?” Cloud Dreamer shook his head in disbelief. “The only pony on my side is the blood sucking lawyer!” Flim sighed. “Thanks,” At this juncture, a steward trotted in and whispered a message to Cloud Dreamer, who nodded and dismissed him as a smile grew on his muzzle. “Ah! They’re here!” Cloud Dreamer led his guests back down the spiral staircase and down the steps of the visitor center. “The five of you will be sharing the tour with a couple of special guests I’ve arranged for to represent our target audience as it were,” A carriage pulled up and the driver stepped out and opened the passenger door, standing aside for the small brown Earth Pony colt who practically jumped out in excitement. A curious unicorn filly with a white coat and pink and lavender mane followed somewhat more sedately. “Grandpa!” The colt embraced Cloud Dreamer enthusiastically. “Button Mash! You’re getting big!” He looked at the filly. “And who do we have here?” “Oh! Grandpa, this is Sweetie Belle! She’s my friend!” “I see!” He turned to the filly. “Hello there! It’s a pleasure to meet you Sweetie Belle!” Behind him. Big Mac smirked. Fluttershy suppressed a smile of her own. “So, how was the trip Button? Did you both enjoy the airship?” “Oh yeah! It was great! Oh! Mom says you need to come visit soon!” “Ah yes! It’s been quite the while since I’ve had her Brown Betty and I know I certainly owe her seeing how hard I’ve been working your father lately. And I fully intend to make it up to her! But today, you and your friend are going to see what your father’s hard work has helped me create! All of this! And I wanted you to be the first to see it!” Cloud Dreamer then led the group down to where two carriages sat above a rail. “Look at them! Remarkable aren’t they?” “No drivers?” Sweetie Belle asked. “Are they magic?” “Oh no! No my dear! All the more remarkable! They’re electric! The most sophisticated technology! No expense was spared! They’ll be your transport for this afternoon,” Sweetie Belle looked over the carriage and noted a small thing that resembled the screen on a video game console. “What is that?” “It’s an interactive CD ROM This is one of the things my dad was working on! Look!” Button Mash poked it with a forehoof. “It responds to touch and it tells you what you want to know,” “Well come on then!” Cloud Dreamer directed. “Miss Fluttershy, You and Miss Bon Bon here in this car. Flim… You and Miss Heartstrings in the front car.” Cloud Dreamer directed. “I need to get up to the control room and I’ll see you after the tour!” He said as he trotted up the steps back into the visitor center. Big Mac gave a mild chuckle. “I think I’ll ride in the back car. More leg room,” He told Lyra as Button Mash tossed his saddlebag in back of the front car. “Come on Sweetie Belle! This is going to be so cool!” Sweetie Belle nodded and then quirked her head as she recognized Lyra. “Wait! Aren’t you Lyra Heartstrings? I have your book!” Lyra quirked an uncomfortable smile. “Um… That’s great. Really great!” “One thing I really don’t understand,” Sweetie Belle told her. “Why is it that some books say that humans had a small brain and other books claim humans had a large brain capacity?” Lyra paused. It was actually a fair and considered question. “Well, it had us confused for a long time but then we found out it was gender dimorphism! You see, the female humans normally have large brain cavities while the males generally had brains the size of walnuts. The males compensate by having a larger second brain lower down!” In the control room, Cloud Dreamer was met with the concerned face of Spitfire. “Looks like the weather ponies have decided to dump a load on us. Heavy rains and gale force winds,” “I thought we had that scheduled for thursday?” Cloud Dreamer objected. “Not the best environment for our first tour and I thought that they were still setting the walls over at paddock fifteen?” “They are,” Trixie Lulamoon answered in annoyance. The Operations Manager passed a work schedule to Cloud Dreamer. “Trixie will be having words with somepony and Trixie has not seen Flam all day! Trixie is going to plant her bucking hooves into his bucking hide!” Cloud Dreamer nodded, wondering once again why he tolerated the behavior of the park’s chief programmer. Unfortunately the answer was that no matter how irksome the pony was, only a few ponies could match his programming skills, and the ones that Cloud Dreamer had (such as Button’s father 8-Bit) were sorely needed in his R&D labs. Still, Cloud Dreamer had high hopes that soon, he could dispense with Flam’s services.“There will be time for that later Trixie. In the meantime, start the tour if you would,” Trixie nodded and her horn glowed as she input the commands to start the tour. “Hold onto your flanks…” Author's Note So the last guests are here and Trixie is channeling her inner Sam Jackson... Read, Enjoy, Comment and tune in next time... "We're coming up on the Tyrannostar paddock..." "Morgan Freepony?"
