Just a Friendly Cautionary Tale...
Author's Note
Ok, look. Just stop reading right now. Seriously. This doesn't end well for you. This has necrophilia in it right off the bat. It has all sorts of sexual and horrific things AND a song. I mean...you can't get much worse than that. So if you're not looking for some pretty horrible comedy, go read something happier. Go celebrate life.
...still here?
Ah, ok cool you're my type of people, do continue.
Just a Friendly Cautionary Tale...
Somewhere deep in the crypts of Canterlot, you find her. She’s only been dead a few weeks, and the skin around her face is suctioned in against the bones. Her eyelids as they’ve shrunk have pulled upwards to reveal shrunken, decaying white orbs that were once eyes. Her lips are parted ever so slightly, as if she’s calling to you, and her body lies on its back, hooves crossed over her rib-lined chest. What was one blue fur has become gray, but you can see some semblance of golden yellow still glistening in her mane under your torchlight.
She’s positively beautiful. Hauling open her casket was definitely worth it. You squat over the open coffin, pants unzipped, and get right to work. Your dick is already rock hard looking at her still, shriveled form. She doesn’t protest, doesn’t tell you to stop, doesn’t turn you down like all the other mares. No, she just lies there as you caress her taught flesh with your bare member before beginning to beat off onto her naked form.
She’s too decayed and soft to fuck with any real feeling, but she’s so beautiful that you don’t even mind spanking it yourself so long as you get to cum onto her. You caress her bare mare-bits, liking the soft cry goosh of her rotting flesh. You’re already rock hard and pent up from waiting far too long to do this, so it doesn’t take long before you’re reaching that inevitable point of no return.
You close your eyes, breathing hard and fast. Oh god, so good. You’re getting close. You’re going to cum. You feel your muscles growing taught, all anticipating that sweetest of releases.
Yes…YES…You’re cumming.
“Oh god yes!”
“Anon what are you….ANON!”
Your eyes fly open and you whirl to fine Princess Celestia standing behind you in the low torchlight. Her eyes flicker with the flame, a look of shock, disgust, and anger growing there.
You scream and start backwards. How the hell did she find you? What is she doing down her? What…
Oh no.
Oh shit….hnnng….
Before you can stop it your engorged and ready member lets fly its built up stash of cum all over the ground. Your white fluids splash up onto Princess Celestias hooves and she steps back, shaking her feet desperately.
Your mouth works open and shut as you look down at your limp, dripping penis, then up at the increasingly enraged Celestia. You should say something, but there’s really nothing to say that can in any way justify your actions. She steps forward, her massive form looming over you. You cower before her, unable to look up to meet her eyes.
“Zip. Your. Pants.” She hisses.
You zip your pants.
“What were you doing with Sunshine Cloud’s body?” she demands.
“W-well you see…” you say, trying to think of something.
“And don’t lie. I can tell if you’re lying.”
She lowers her head so it’s only inches from your face. You look up into her eyes, near tears, and her look pierces all the way straight through to your soul.
“Alright fine!” you blurt out, nearly crying. “I’m a horny bastard who hasn’t been able to get off since I got here. I’m not seriously interested in ponies, and besides none of them want anything to do with me other than friendship! I just wanted to cum once, is that so much to fucking ask?!”
The words tumble out of you effortlessly in one long, pauseless stream. Celestia blinks, and at first you think you see some form of pity there, some semblance of understanding. You look hopefully at her, sniffing back sobs where they threaten to break free from you. Then, all at once, her face darkens and she smiles.
Oh shit, that can’t be good.
“Oh, you just wanted to cum, did you?” she says, almost seductively. “Is that all?”
She walks forward, one hoof in front of the other, batting her long eyelashes at you. She crouches before you and winks.
Wait…is Celestia coming onto you?
“Unzip your pants,” she croons.
Oh yeah, that’s what’s happening. Your dick is out in a flash, still limp from your recent conquest, but ready for whatever Celestia has planned. She giggles and smiles warmly at you, then bends down bringing her lips close to your penis. She reaches out with them towards the tip, licking her lips slowly and erotically.
You hadn’t expected this, but hell yes, Princess Blowjob. You shut your eyes, ready to enjoy this experience. Her lips touch your dick.
All at once, a shock like electricity runs from the tip of your penis to the flats of your feet.
You let out a cry as your eyes fly open. The room is bathed in a blinding white light, all radiating from where Celestia is kissing your penis. You can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do anything as the roll of magical electricity courses through your veins. It burns, and is so cold, it itches, it stings…You can’t take it anymore!
All at once the sensation stops and Celestia takes a step back from you, looking satisfied with her work. She spits onto the ground beside you as you collapse forward onto the ground.
“Disgusting,” she mutters. “Zip your pants back up.”
With a shaking hand, you do as she commands. What just happened?
“W-what did you just do to me?” you ask in a quivering voice.
Your whole body is on pins and needles and your dick can’t stop twitching. Every time it does, you feel the sensation shoot through the rest of your body. It’s none to pleasant, but you’re not even sure you could call it pain.
Celestia grins at you.
“Oh nothing,” she says lightly, turning away from you. “I just made it easier for you to get off, that’s all.”
“Wait, what?”
“It’s simple, from now on, ponies not wanting to sleep with you wont stop you from cumming. All you’ll need is their…” she pauses, lingering over the next word. The flames reflection in her eyes dances. “Friendship.”
A surge of force charges through your body and you contort, back arching painfully under you. All your muscles seize and tense and you feel your member swelling. You scream as it grows and gets hard, already far too sensitive from cumming just moments ago. Oh god….you’re cumming again! So soon? How?! No time for questions, it’s happening.
You thrust upwards into the air, gripping the stone floor with your fingers as all your tension releases in a sudden spurt of semen shoots out of you to stain the front of your pants. Two spurts, three….then you fall limply back onto the stone, panting. What? How? It feels amazing, you’ve never cum that hard before, but it hurts too. Shit, it really hurts. You tenderly cup the now very damp front of your pants and look in exhausted bewilderment up at Celestia who is regarding you with disgust and an evil satisfaction.
“W….wha…?” is all you can manage to say.
She turns to walk away from you back up to the castle.
“Everytime someone else says that word, anyone else, you’ll cum. Uncontrollably, no matter how many times before then you’ve cum, no matter where you are and what you’re doing. So tell your friends hi for me!”
You hear her cackling as she walks up the stairs, leaving you in confused and sticky darkness.
You manage to make it back to Ponyville without incident, though you can feel your cum running down your thighs and legs with each step. Shit, you didn’t know you could cum this much! Just get back to Twilight’s library and find a book that tells you how to get rid of this spell and you’ll be fine. You’re going to be alright, you just have to…
The door to the library flies open to reveal a very concerned looking Twilight. You quickly tug down your shirt with one hand to try to hide the stain on the front of your pants.
“Oh, uh, hey Twilight. What-“
“Oh good, you’re here,” she says, not waiting for you to finish. “Princess Celestia just sent a message. We have to get to Canterlot, some of the richer ponies are trying to start a class-war with some peasant earth ponies! We have to go, the others will meet us there, come on!”
“But-“
“Come on!”
“But-“
Without saying another word she shoves you away from the door, and you’re on your way, sticky pants and all.
You arrive outside the main ballroom just as the others do, and you pray that the stain just looks like a shadow or something as you approach the group. Pinkie bounds over to you enthusiastically.
“ANON!”
She waist hugs you and you wince as she grazes your still very sore member.
“You smell funny Anon!” she says with a grin.
“J-just need to take a bath!” you manage to say, forcing a smile.
Twilight stands before the group and Pinkie releases you to listen. Twilight clears her throat and begins to pace in front of you, seeming very serious.
“Alright girls…and Anon. We face a very serious matter here. We need to create peace between the high society ponies and the poor ponies before violence breaks out. We need to approach this calmly and diplomatically, which means no kicking tail, right Rainbow?”
Rainbow Dash sulks and says nothing.
“Right, ok. Lets go in there and see what we can do.”
You all enter and see the two groups, about ten ponies each, standing across from each other and screaming.
“What, born with a silver bit in your mouth you prick?”
“You’re just jealous you filthy mud pony!”
“Tenderfoot!”
“Workhorse!”
It goes on and on. Twilight leaps forward and releases a spark of light from the front of her horn. The assembly goes quiet.
“Mares, gentlecolts,” she says warmly. “Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter if you’re poor or rich as long as you’re a good pony, and none of you seem like very good ponies right now.”
“But they started it!” yells one pony.
“I don’t care who started it. We’re all ponies and we all have to live together, so can’t we all just get along and be...friends?”
The chime of violins and pianos sound somewhere far away and Twilight begins to smile. The ponies all fall in line behind her in a line formation, looking expectant and ready. You suddenly feel every muscle in your body tense up.
Oh no. Oh god no. Their going to sing a song. A song about…Oh. God. No.
Twilight opens her mouth and begins:
♫ Sometimes we might find it hard to put differences aside ♫
♫ But are we really all so different on the inside? ♫
♫ Pegasi and unicorns and earthponies too ♫
♫ You’re the same as me, and I’m the same as you ♫
♫ That’s why... ♫
The others step forward and your eyes widen in horror. You have to get out of here, have to run have to hide! But there’s nowhere to go, it’s too late.
♫ We say it’s time to come together put all this hate away ♫
♫ Hold hooves with one another and make this vow today ♫
♫ That we won’t fight with each other, listen to what we say ♫
♫ That friendship, yes friendship, friendship is the way! ♫
You fall backwards onto the ground, convulsing. Three at once? Three times? You’re not even sure what that will do! As you writhe, the ponies form a kickline, grabbing the arguing ponies and forcing them to join in. You pray they don’t see as you lie there, muffling your screams as your dick shoots more and more cum inside your pants till its dripping down your stomach and running in rivulets across your legs.
You try not to thrust or twitch, but it’s so difficult, and with the third orgasm you feel a shooting pain in your balls and dick. No one is supposed to cum this much. The ponies keep singing. They belt out the next verse joyfully, dosey-doing with every line.
♫ So tomorrow when the sun comes up, you and I will be ♫
♫ In a friendship everlasting that the whole world can see ♫
♫ Our friendship is so bright it will shine out every day ♫
♫ Because friendship, yes friendship, friendship is the way!♫
You now do start to scream, but their singing drowns out your cries. Your penis spurts wildly, pushing with a driving surge against your pants. In a burst it frees itself and begins shooting cum into the air like a fountain, splattering your jizz across the ballroom floor. The ponies are so into their song that they don’t even notice as they dance through puddles of it.
"Now the bridge!” cries Pinkie Pie.
Oh god, there’s more?”
♫ Friendship is so wonderful ♫
♫ We’ve said it all before ♫
♫ But we love friendship just so much
♫ We’ll say it twenty times more! ♫
♫ Oh friendship, friendship, friendship, ♫
♫ Friendship sure is great ♫
♫ Friendship, friendship, friendship... ♫
You shut your eyes as you feel your balls begin to swell with jizz backup. It can’t all get out! A steady stream of your cum pours out onto the floor where a standing layer of the stuff has started to gather. The ponies do ice skating routines through it as your liberated member thrashes wildly spewing in the air like an unattended firehose. It hurts! Oh god, it hurts so much, make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!!!!
"♫ So my friends I know that you’ll agree on this fine day, ♫ ”
Twilight sings out solo, then they all join in for the last line.
♫ That friendship…♫
Your heart and testicles pound and you feel the tug and tear of skin. You’re going to pop.
♫ Yes friendship...♫
You scream a mortal scream as your body wracks itself from head to toe, the unbearable pain seizing your very being.
♫ Friendship is…the...waaaaay!♫
With that last friendship there’s a bang, and flecks of cum spring from your exploding balls like confetti. They float through the air over the ponies in their end-of-song pose, dousing everyone with your seed. Blood flows in rivers from your shaking, aching body through the white layer on the floor and you begin to lose consciousness.
You’re dying. You’re dying of burst testicles. All because you wanted to get off, all because you had a thing for dead bodies. As you die, you wonder almost bemusedly, what will happen to your dead body.
Somewhere up in her tower, Princess Celestia smiles and prepares her sex toys. It turns out you weren’t the only one into necrophilia.
-End-
