My List Of Ideas

        She choked, rubbing her eyes -- the crying ceased, Discord broke into tears, he buried his face in her fur and sobbed, Discord exclaimed, throwing up his paw and claw in exasperation, throwing up his/her hooves in exasperation

He gazed up at her and reached out his claw. She held it as she allowed him to caress her face and wipe away her tears.

Covering her face, she rushed to her bed and sobbed. In the distance, she could hear Discord roaring like a wounded animal.

He/She Continued, called, started to say, murmured, protested, demanded, explained, pressed, huffed, pipped, hollered, croaked, breathed, gulped, finished, started, urged, cringed, questioned, hissed, blinked, hesitated, snorted, advised, chirped, smirked, frowned, inquired, blushed, cocked an eyebrow, exclaimed, cleared his\her throat, cried, shrieked,  panting in relief, heaved, shrugged, said, squeaked in panic, whispered, yelped, grunted in frustration, winced, snapped around and narrowed his gaze at her, rolled his/her eyes, scoffed, was silent for a moment, shook her/his head, groaned, froze, snapped angrily, choked, barked desperately, cocking her head, agreed, patted his/her head, swallowed, his/her eyes shimmered, teased, laughed,

Stomp his/hoove

Describe how are they feeling in long details,

Say they're species name ex: The yellow pegasus, the draconequss, the earth pony, the lavender unicorn

said in a melodic voice

said in a deep, mesmerizing voice

said in a hypnotic voice

said excitedly

said sadly

said aloud

said with a shrug

said with a wink

said with a smirk

said with fake seriousness

said firmly

said suavely

said with a gulp

said quickly

said nothing

gasped suddenly

gasped in horror

gasped in disgust

moaned blissfully

moaned in response

gave her/him a look of sympathy

She put her hoof to her mouth in horror.

faced him/her in shock

Stared at her/him

glared at her/him in determination

sighed

sighed sadly

sighed wearily

sighed longingly

sighed in defeat

sighed in satisfaction

sighed heavily

WAKES UPS -- Discord/Fluttershy sat up in bed with a gasp. Fluttershy woke up with a jolt

smiled coyly

smiled proudly

smiled sweetly

smiled slightly

forced a small

smiled hopefully

smiled determined

EXPRESS ANNOYANCE

narrowed eyes and grumbled

EXPRESS ANGER

frowned brow, clenched fist, gritted/clenched teeth

Eyes burning red, with fury and rage

italics

EXPRESS SADNESS

sighing, doubting themselves, hung their head, isolating

Woolly's Critique

Actually I think you've improved a lot! This story has some really original ideas I've not seen before.

Some things I noticed though. A few misspellings: The plural should be spelt "draconequui" and the singular is "draconequus".

Also a suggestion: the chocolate milk and candy cotton clouds thing is something a lot of authors mention and it's kind of overdone, especially since Discord is a creature of unpredictability. Maybe change it to different smells and sights? :)

Is there a reason Discord's father got angry when little Discord said he wanted to be the Lord of Chaos? I'm asking because it seems like all the draconequui have really disharmonious names. Maybe if they were called something that was the opposite of chaotic and disharmonic?

Lastly, there's a lot of "tell" instead of "show." For example, this line:

However, something was different: He wasn't alive, he was dead.

Rather than telling the reader straight away that Discord is now dead, describe his confusion more, and how Fluttershy and Screwball can't see him. Maybe have Fluttershy say at the end of it: "I...I think he's dead!" Or something like that. Also an introduction to Screwball might be good, as readers might not know she's their daughter right away.

But on the whole, I think it's very original and intriguing! And I want to know more about the mare and the villians. There are a few grammatical errors here and there, but that's nothing that can't be fixed with a proofreader or editor. x

Hope this helps!