The helpful Twilight

by El Manana

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Twist, Violence, Slice of Life, Death, Twilight Sparkle, Gore, Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Rarity
Length: 937

Twilight Sparkle goes out to help her subjects

Twilight Sparkle (smartest and prettiest pony) decides to go out and help some of her loyal subjects with their day to day problems.

Published 2015-07-29 17:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-29 17:00:01 UTC

Twilight will help

Twilight was walking around the streets of Ponyville lending her help to those who needed friendship help.

"Oh good Twilight you're here, we need you to settle an argument," Lyra called over to Twilight. Twilight smiled and trotted over.

"How may I help?" she asked sounding humble although she viewed herself superior to these filthy peasants.

"Bon Bon here thinks that Five Nights at Freddy's is a good game series and I think it's shit, who's right?" Lyra asked the powerful ruler. Twilight knew just how to solve this. She picked up a large rock with her magic and struck Bon Bon in the head several times until she was sure she was dead.

"What a faggot," she said walking off leaving Lyra crying in the streets.

"Another job well done," she said to herself walking away, "now who's next?"

Twilight roamed the streets looking for her next subject.

"Twilight help!" Rarity yelled. Twilight dashed over to help her friend in distress.

"What is it?" the concerned horse asked the other.

"Oh its my poor cat, she's stuck up in that tree again!" Rarity sobbed. Twilight rolled her eyes, the cat has gotten stuck several times this month, but as princess of friendship it was her job to fix this problem. Twilight stood back as her horn began to glow. Flames shot out engulfing the tree in a fierce inferno.

"Wh-what are you doing!?" Rarity wailed.

"The cat won't be getting stuck anymore, am I right or what?" Twilight asked walking away from her devastated friend.

"Being princess is so hard, it really works up an appetite," she said to herself trotting into a local burger joint.

Twilight stood in line until she was finally at the counter.

"I would like..." she stopped to see a sad looking pony.

"What's the matter?" she asked.

"Oh sorry it's nothing, it's just that I hate this job, I would give anything to just get out of here," he said.

"Hmm" Twilight though about how she would solve such a problem and then it struck her just like her dads hooves after a night of drinking. Twilight walked behind the counter and motioned for the employee to follow.

"I, as princess, will help you quit your job," Twilight said.

"Really? Oh thank you princess," the pony said grateful as hell. Twilight grabbed the pony's mane with her magic and pushed his head into the fryers. He flailed around wildly as he inhaled the burning oil. Soon he went limp.

"Yet another pony helped by the prettiest pony who was rejected in high school by her crush but it's not like I even cared about him really or how he only dated the pretty girls and sent Twilight into a state of clinical depression, nope! I don't care," Twilight said to herself. Her stomach grumbled reminding her of her hunger. She looked over at the corpse.

"What bad would one little bite be?" she asked her self as she began to munch on his well cooked face.

After gorging herself on the body of the dead pony Twilight decided to head home.

"Twilight I need you help," Twist said walking up to Twilight.

"What is it filthy ginger?" she asked the biggest mistake in Ponyville.

"Everyone ith making fun of my for being a thupid ginger, can you help me with thith?" she asked the god horse.

"Hmm well this could be hard," she said. All of a sudden she had an epiphany.

"Wait right here," she told Twist running home. Twilight grabbed a knife from the kitchen and ran back to the impure soulless ginger. Twilight tackled her from behind knocking her glasses off.

"What ith that for?" she asked on the verge of tears.

"I'm going to solve your problem by scalping," Twilight said grabbing Twist's hair with her teeth. She gave a hard tug and levitated the knife to her head.

"No pleathe don't Twilight pleathe!" Twist begged, but everypony only gets one request. Twilight began cutting into the scalp of Twist. She dragged the knife side to side until finally her scalp was gone. A crying, bloody Twist laid in the streets traumatized by the events. Twilight gave Twist her scalp and headed home. Crawling into bed she whispered to herself, "another day of helping my subjects."

"Umm Twilight," Spike said like a little bitch.

"What?" Twilight asked annoyed that her slave woke her up.

"Well it's just that I'm so tired from the constant work and I was just wondering if I could have a short break ma'am," the slave asked. Though he was a slave he was still her subject and she was bound by oath to help her subjects.

"Very well, I'll let you sleep," she told her worthless slave. Twilight walked over to a closet and pulled out several bottles of cleaning materials. She mixed them together in a cup and handed it to Spike.

"Drink up," she said glaring at him.

"B-but Twilight," Spike said looking up to her for mercy.

"I thought I said drink," Twilight said staring down at her slave. Sobbing Spike drank the vile fluid. His end came violently. Twilight snickered to herself and went back to bed.

Snuggling into bed she thought of what she'll do to help her subjects in the coming days. Being a princess is hard work and needs planning after all. Meanwhile out in town Lyra was crying in bed alone after Bon Bon get rekt, a police investigation was launched to look for the murderer of the employee and Twist was left to die because she's ginger filth.