Transformers: War for Friendship

Transformers: War for Friendship

Episode 3: The Ticket Master

“No…no…no…no…” Spike said, tossing an apple out of the cart following each “no”. The young dragon rode on the back of a cart full of apples pulled by Twilight. Applejack, Bulkhead, and Bumblebee trotted and drove alongside her, each hauling their own cart behind them.

“You know, the more apples you toss out, the more you’re gonna have to pick up again,” pointed out the green SUV, prompting an eye-roll from Spike.

“Thank y’all kindly for helpin’ me out,” said Applejack gratefully. “I bet Big Macintosh that I could get all these golden delicious picked by sundown. If he loses, he’s gotta walk down Stirrup Street wearin’ one’a Granny’s girdles!” she added, giggling.

“I’m glad the goal is lunch,” said Twilight, “All this hard work has sure made me hungry.”

“I know, right?” Spike agreed, still sorting through the apples.

“Beep-beep-bip-beep-beep,” Bumblebee chuckled, prompting laughter from Twilight and Bulkhead.

“What?? What did he say???” demanded Spike.

“He said, ‘I bet you’re exhausted from riding around in a cart all day,’” explained Twilight, snickering.

“Exactly! You four were taking so long I missed snack time!” explained Spike, prompting, much to the dragon’s dismay, a chorus of chuckles from his companions.

“How did ya know what he was sayin’, anyway?” Applejack asked Twilight.

“I can’t keep a spell to restore his voice up for long without exhausting myself, so I thought I’d take the time to study what each beep means,” explained Twilight. “Now I can mostly understand what he’s saying.”

“Bip-bip-bip-do-weep,” said Bumblebee.

“What’s he saying now?” asked Spike.

“That my stomach’s growling,” said Twilight, matter-of-factly, before opening her eyes in realization and looking at her dragon friend.

Spike looked up from the particularly big, shiny red apple he’d just bitten into and chuckled sheepishly, before belching out a scroll. Twilight caught it in her magic, and the two Autobots unhitched themselves from their carts and transformed.

Spike snatched the letter and began to read it. “Hear ye, hear ye!” he began, “Her crowned royal highness, Princess Celestia of Equestria, is pleased to announce that the Grand Galloping Gala is to be held at our magnificent capital city, Canterlot, on the 21st day of… yadda yadda yadda… cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle, plus one guest.”

This prompted a gasp from the two ponies of the company, who turned to each other with wide grins. “The Grand Galloping Gala!” they exclaimed in unision. They proceeded to hop up and down in one place, giggling and cheering in excitement.

The two Autobots stared at them, then at each other, and finally back at the ponies in bemusement. Spike put a bored, slightly disgusted look on his face, and stuck out his tongue, only to belch out two golden tickets, which he then held out to Twilight.

“Wow! Great! I’ve never been to the Gala. Have you, Spike?” she asked.

“No, and I plan to keep it that way. I don’t want any of that girly, frilly, frou-frou nonsense!” said Spike.

“Come on, Spike,” encouraged Twilight, “a dance would be nice.”

“Nice??” asked Applejack, incredulously, “It’s a heap good more than just ‘nice’!”

“Uh, what is it, then?” asked Bulkhead, feeling left out of the loop.

“Bip-bip-beep-beep-do-weep?” asked Bumblebee. “Beep-beep-bip-bip-do-weep-weep,” he explained.

“Oh…” said Bulkhead. At the looks of confusion from Applejack and Spike, he added, “Apparently Optimus told us that we’d be goin’ there to help get ponies used to our presence here, but I was distracted.”

“By what?” asked Applejack.

“Well…” began Bulkhead…

Earlier that day, Bulkhead had been standing at attention in the surprisingly expansive library basement, alongside Bumblebee, Arcee, and Ratchet, as Optimus stood before them, relaying a message from Princess Celestia.

“Hear ye, hear ye,” began the Autobot Leader, “as Equestria’s new allies, protectors, and friends, Princess Celestia does cordially invite the Autobots Optimus Prime, Arcee, Ratchet, Bumblebee, and Bulkhead to…”

Optimus’s words began to fade as Bulkhead’s thoughts took center stage. ‘Yeesh, she really takes her time with the introductions to her letters,’ thought Bulkhead. ‘Seriously, why do they need to be that long?’ his thoughts continued, as his commander droned on, ‘I mean, why not just write, “Dear Autobots, come to this event I’m hosting,” or why not, “Yo, Autobuddies, roll on down to this wacky shindig I’m throwin’”? I really don’t get why she feels the need to be so formal with us. I mean, she said herself that we’re friends. If she wants to invite us to a-wait, what was she inviting us to???’ Bulkhead suddenly realized that he had not listened to a single word the message had stated beyond the introduction. ‘Ah, scrap,’ he thought, ‘what’s he saying?! Oh, man, I can’t believe it! Why do I have to be so easily distracted??? Now everyone’s gonna think I’m an idiot, or rude for not listening!’ Bulkhead glanced to his teammates. They all seemed to be paying complete attention to Optimus’s reading of the letter, completely oblivious to the dilemma of their large green friend. ‘I know! I’ll just play it cool, and pretend I heard everything!’ he thought.

“Bulkhead, I am not convinced you’ve heard a word I have said,” noted Optimus Prime, he and all the other Autobots looking at their green friend.

“What? No! I heard everything,” assured Bulkhead.

“If you are sure…” said Optimus, glancing at his bulky comrade unsurely.

Back in the present, his friends were chortling with laughter.

“Yeah, ‘ha ha,’ now someone please explain to me what it is, and why it’s so great???” demanded Bulkhead, embarrassed at his earlier actions.

“It’s a huge event where ponies from all over Equestria get together and, well, have a huge party,” explained Twilight.

“That explains why Celestia thought it would help get ponies used to the idea of us Autobots stomping around Equestria, with so many of them all there together,” mused Bulkhead.

“I’d love to go!” exclaimed Applejack. “If I had a cart set up, ponies would be linin’ up to try our vittles ‘til the cows came home! Do you know how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a heap of fixin’ up around here! We could replace that saggy old roof!” she exclaimed, pointing at the roof of her barn.

“…I think I’ve seen Ratchet in higher spirits than that roof,” remarked Bulkhead.

“Big Macintosh could replace that saggy old plow!” continued Applejack, pointing at her brother’s plow.

“Bip-bip-do-weep,” commented Bumblebee.

“Unhappier than Grimlock???” asked Bulkhead, incredulously, before glancing over it again, “…Yeah, I can see that.”

“And,” continued Applejack, looking a teeny bit irritated at being interrupted twice, “Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip!” She pointed at her grandmother for emphasis, who waved at the quintet of companions.

“Wow,” said Bulkhead, “even Prowl never frowned as much as her hip does.”

“What’s that about my hip, youngin’?!” asked a now irate Granny Smith.

“Er, nothing…” said Bulkhead, his optics darting from side to side.

“I oughta tan that metal hide of yours! Get over here!” she shouted.

“Eeeenope!” exclaimed Bulkhead, who transformed into his SUV mode and sped out of the barn, pursued relentlessly by the elderly matriarch of the Apple Family.

Bumblebee watched with amusement, then transformed and drove up to Granny Smith, in hopes of calming her down, completely unaware of a bird-like drone spying on them from one of the apple trees.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Laserbeak flew back to the edge of the Everfree Forest, where Soundwave was waiting for him. The bird transformed into the larger Decepticon’s chest armor, and Soundwave absorbed the data. The silent Decepticon replayed the scene in his mind. The silent communications officer may not have been the most expressive Decepticon, but under his seemingly emotionless exterior, he was satisfied with his results. He had not only discovered a time and place where the Princess and the Autobots would be all together, but also obtained some rather amusing blackmail. Starscream would be pleased…

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Twilight and Spike were walking up to Sugarcube Corner, when a familiar pink blur tackled them into a familiar ambulance, the two Gala tickets landing underneath the ambulance’s windshield wipers. The irate medical vehicle transformed to the familiar shape of Ratchet’s robot form, and held Twilight and the pink blur, now fully discernable as Pinkie Pie, up to his optic level, prompting much shock and panic from other ponies nearby.

“Can’t a ‘Bot get a stasis nap around here?!” complained Ratchet, glaring at the ponies in his hands. “What’s the big i-huh?” Ratchet set the ponies on the ground and picked the two tickets off of his chest, then narrowed his optics at the ponies. “I should have known…” he said, in a shocked, betrayed tone. “Under all your friendship and parties…” he continued, “…you still stick parking tickets on tired Autobots!”

“I don’t know what parking tickets are, but I know that those are absolutely, undeniably, tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie.

“Ah, that pony event we’re going to,” said Ratchet. “You’d think having us walk around Ponyville would be enough, but apparently, we’ve got to attend some prissy ball, too…ugh…”

“Tell me about it,” agreed Spike, crossing his arms.

“Are you kidding me?!” exclaimed Pinkie, before bursting into a literal song and dance about how great she expected the Gala to be.

“…Maybe it’ll be interesting… I guess?” Ratchet grinned unsurely, for the party pony’s sake.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Twilight! This is the best gift ever!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie, bouncing around her purple unicorn friend.

“Um...actually…” began Twilight, as Spike began picking up the tickets, before being interrupted once again by a gasp from Rarity.

“Are these what I think they are?” asked the white unicorn, gazing upon the tickets with awe.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie. “Twilight’s taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot!”

“Uh, I don’t think she-“

“The Gala!” sighed Rarity, interrupting Ratchet, to the medic’s irritation. “I design ensembles for the Gala every year! I’ve never had the opportunity to attend. The society, the culture, the glamour! It’s where I truly belong, and where I’m destined to meet… him!”

“Him!” exclaimed Pinkie Pie with enthusiasm, before narrowing her eyebrows in confusion, and asking, “Who?”

Rarity went into great detail about her fantasies about meeting Princess Celestia’s nephew, Prince Blueblood, and her dreams of marrying him.

“Yip, yip, yip!” interrupted Ratchet. “You think you’re going to meet him and then just fall in love at first sight???”

“Twilight,” said Rarity, ignoring Ratchet, “I simply cannot believe you would take… Pinkie Pie… so she can… party… and prevent me from meeting my true love! How could you?!” She turned her head away from Twilight with a loud “Humph!”

A white rabbit then snatched the two tickets from Spike’s hands and carried them over to Fluttershy and Arcee.

“Hey!” exclaimed Spike.

“Oh, Angel,” said Fluttershy, smiling at the tickets, “these are perfect.”

“Watcha got there?” asked Arcee, squinting at the tickets.

“Listen, guys,” interjected Twilight, “I haven’t decided who to give the extra ticket to.”

“You haven’t?!” asked Rarity and Pinkie Pie, the former with excitement and the latter with horror.

“Um, Twilight,” Fluttershy spoke up, “I would just like to ask, if it’s alright, if you haven’t given it to someone else…”

“You?!” exclaimed Rarity incredulously, “You want to go to the Gala?!”

"Well, why can't she?!" huffed Arcee. "She's her own pony! She can have what she wants!" The Autobot's words seemed to resonate the slightest bit of assertiveness in the timid pegasus.

“Well, actually…” The timid yellow pegasus went on to tell her friends about how she would use the trip as a reason to visit the palace garden, and explore the vegetable and animal life dwelling there.

“Now that,” said Ratchet, “is a reason I can get behind.”

“You’d be interested in the flora and fauna, too?” asked Fluttershy, gleeful at the prospect of someone else finding her reason for wanting to go to be a good one.

“I’m a medic. Life in all its forms, even organic, interests me,” said Ratchet.

“It does sound… beautiful?” said Twilight, a little unsurely.

“Now wait just a minute!” exclaimed a voice from above. Rainbow Dash swooped down in front of Twilight.

“Rainbow Dash!” exclaimed Twilight. “Were you following me?!” she demanded.

“No! Yes! Maybe!” fumbled Rainbow Dash. “It doesn’t matter!” she concluded. “I couldn’t risk a goody four-shoes like you giving that ticket away to just anybody!

“Wait just another minute!” spoke Applejack, as she approached the group.

“Applejack! Were you following me, too?!” demanded Twilight Sparkle.

“No! I was followin’ this one,” answered Applejack, pointing a hoof at Rainbow Dash, “to make sure she didn’t try any funny business! Still trying to take my ticket…”

“Your ticket?!” fumed Rainbow Dash.

“But Twilight’s taking me!” protested Pinkie Pie.

The ponies began to complain and argue, causing Twilight to shrink down and hold her head in her hooves.

“YIP, YIP, YIP!” interrupted Ratchet.

“And then I said oatmeal, are you crazy?!” finished Pinkie, prompting perplexed stares from her friends.

“Thanks, Ratchet,” said Twilight, looking up at the medic, before turning to her friends. “Girls, there’s no use in arguing!” she explained.

“But Twilight,” protested Rarity.

“It’s my decision, and I’ll decide on my own, and I can’t think straight with all this noise!” she said, as her stomach growled. “Not to mention hunger! Now go on! Shoo!”

Her pony friends reluctantly trudged away, muttering their complaints.

“And don’t worry! I’ll figure this out!” she added. “…Somehow…”

“Good luck with that. I don’t want to be involved in this whole affair,” said Ratchet, before transforming and resuming his nap.

“I’ll try and see what I can do to help,” said Arcee, transforming and speeding away in motorcycle mode.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Well, that was at least the third most embarrassing thing to ever happen to me,” remarked Bulkhead. Bumblebee had managed to calm Granny Smith down, and he and his bulky green friend were making their way back to the library.

Bumblebee looked at his friend awkwardly, not daring to ask what the first two were. Soon, the pair of Autobots came to a gathering of ponies in front of the library, and walked on over to see what was going on.

“Twilight is my bestest friend! Whoopee! Whoopee!” sang Pinkie Pie, as the ponies she had gathered threw Twilight in the air and caught her. The two Autobots blinked in bemusement.

“Pinkie…” Twilight interrupted.

“She’s the cutest, smartest, all around best pony! Pony!” the pink party pony continued to sing.

“Pinkie…” Twilight persisted.

“I bet if I throw a super-duper fun party! Party!” continued to sing Pinkie.

“Pinkie…” said Twilight, beginning to get annoyed.

“She’ll give her extra ticket to the Gala to meeee!” Pinkie concluded her song.

"Hey, Pinkie!" called Bulkhead, grabbing the attention of Pinkie and the other ponies, causing them to allow Twilight none-too-gently on the ground. The flower ponies fainted there on the spot, while the other ponies gaped at him, quite a bit surprised at his sudden appearance.

“Yes, Bulkhead?” asked Pinkie Pie.

"Er, Twi wanted to tell you something," said Bulkhead, feeling a little awkward at all the nervous stares from the ponies.

"Yes, Twilight?" asked Pinkie, batting her eyelashes at Twilight as Bumblebee helped the purple unicorn to her hooves..

“At least the other ponies tried to be subtle about the ticket!” Twilight irately remarked.

“Wait, what ticket? What Gala?” asked one of the ponies.

“Oh, you didn’t know?” asked Pinkie. “Twilight has an extra ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala!”

“The Grand Galloping Gala?!” exclaimed the ponies, all anxiety brought by the Autobots' arrival forgotten.

“Have I ever told you how much I love your mane?”

“I’ll wash your dishes!

Spike rushed by, pulling Twilight along, hoping to help his friend out of her situation, but they only ran into more ponies.

“I’ll do your gardening!”

“I have a cartload of extra carrots!”

The ponies and their offers of service began to surround the two, and Spike looked up at Twilight with a great deal of concern. “What do we do?” he asked.

Bumblebee transformed and opened his door, then beeped at them.

“We’re… gonna… ROOOLLLL!!!” shouted Twilight, grabbing Spike with her magic and dashing inside Bumblebee, who sped away.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Derpy. "That yellow one ate her! What are we gonna do?!"

"I bet she'll give the ticket to whoever saves her from the alien's stomach!" exclaimed Lyra. This prompted cheers from the other ponies, and they began pursuing her, bent on 'saving' their new friend, and perhaps acquiring her extra ticket.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

After much chasing and a strangely appropriate musical track, the trio were cornered in an alley. Bumblebee let his passengers out and transformed to robot mode, trying to calm down the advancing helpful mob with ‘settle down’ hand gestures, but to no avail. Twilight breathed heavier and heavier, and her horn began to glow brighter and brighter, until the three disappeared in a loud POP!

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The three reappeared in the library, with Twilight’s eyes wide with shock at her ability, Spike stumbling around in a daze, and Bumblebee falling on his belly with his optics spinning.

“Warn me next time you’re gonna do that…” muttered Spike in his confusion.

“I didn't even know it was going to happen!” explained Twilight.

“Beep-beep-do-wooooo!” Bumblebee buzzed, his mind still in a daze.

“Now’s not the time to tell me how my magic tastes! We need to lock the doors!” panicked Twilight. She and Spike quickly turned out all the lights and locked all the doors and windows, only for the light to turn back on.

“Do-weep-weep-woo!” chuckled Bumblebee, still in a daze.

“Those aren't vases, and they don’t just look like our pony friends! They are our pony friends!” Twilight exclaimed, before screaming. “I can’t decide! I just can’t decide! It’s important to all of you and I just can’t stand to disappoint any of you and giving me gifts and doing me favors won’t make any difference because you’re all my friends and I want to make you all happy and I can’t! I just can’t!” Twilight vented, collapsing on the floor and holding her hooves over her head, nearly in tears. His mind now cleared, Bumblebee crawled over to Twilight and gently patted her back comfortingly.

“I know, and that is why I am grateful to Arcee for informing me of this development,” spoke a familiar baritone. The wall underneath the balcony where the five ponies were standing slid in half, and the red and blue form of Optimus Prime stepped out, with the other three Autobots alongside him. He hunched over as not to destroy the ceiling, and stepped out before her.

“How did-“ began Applejack, but Ratchet interrupted.

“Twilight and the Princess gave us permission to build our base under the library,” explained the medic. “Now,” he continued, “don’t you

five have something you need to say to Twilight?”

“Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you,” said Applejack as she walked over and rested a gentle hoof on her friends head. “And if it helps,” she continued, “I don’t want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. I won’t feel bad. I promise.”

“Me too,” put in Fluttershy, who flew over. “I feel just awful knowing that I made you feel so awful.”

“And me too!” added Pinkie Pie. “It’s no fun upsetting your friends!”

“Twilight, it was unfair of me to try to force you as I did,” apologized Rarity.

“YES! That means the ticket is MINE! I got the ticket! I got the ticket!” cheered Rainbow Dash, flying in the air, only to be stopped by the glares of her friends, and a raised eyebrow from Optimus Prime. “You know, I haven’t perfected my signature moves for the Wonderbolts anyway. I don’t need that ticket either,” Rainbow Dash corrected herself.

“We were all so gung-ho about going to the Gala, that we didn’t see how un-gung-ho we were makin’ you,” concluded Applejack.

“We’re sorry, Twilight,” said the ponies in unision.

Twilight smiled up at her friends, before turning to Spike. “Spike, take down a note.”

The dragon smiled and pulled out a paper and a quill.

“Dear Princess Celestia, I learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there aren’t enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to the Gala.”

“WHAT?!” asked her friends, incredulously.

“If my friends can’t all go, I don’t want to go, either!” smiled Twilight.

“Twilight… you don’t have to do that,” said Applejack.

“Nope, I’ve made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now.”

Spike blew the note away with his flames, sending it to the princess.

“I am impressed, Twilight. You have shown great maturity in sacrificing your own happiness for that of your friends,” said Optimus, causing a grateful blush from the purple pony.

“Reminds me of you when you were her age,” said Ratchet, smiling at the Prime.

“Thanks, but I’m not sacrificing anything. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me,” said Twilight, “so I’d rather not go at all.”

This prompted a group hug from her pony friends. Bumblebee looked at the ponies for a moment before picking them all up in his attempt to join the group hug, causing the six ponies to gasp and their eyes to bulge out at being hoisted so high up.

Spike stuck his tongue out once more at the display of affection, before beginning to very actually wretch.

“Well, wallop my withers, Spike!” exclaimed Applejack. “Ain’t that just like a boy?? Well, most boys,” she corrected, glancing at Bumblebee, before turning back to the young dragon, “can’t handle the least bit of sentiment!”

Spike’s response was to belch out another letter, prompting Applejack to duck to avoid being hit by the magical flames.

“A letter from the princess,” Twilight noted, “That was fast.”

Spike opened it and read, “My faithful student, Twilight, why didn’t you just say so in the first place?” He noticed a collection of objects in the letter and held them out. “Six tickets to the Gala!” he identified them.

“Now we’re all going!” cheered Bulkhead, prompting the gang to erupt into cheers, which were quickly silenced by the rumbling of Twilight’s stomach.

“Allow us to treat you to lunch,” insisted Rarity. The six ponies grabbed their tickets and headed out the door, leaving Spike on his own with the Autobots.

“How come I don’t get a ticket to the Gala…?” asked the dragon, looking down sadly.

“I am sure the princess did not intend to leave you out, little Spike,” reassured Optimus Prime.

Spike gave a thankful, though still saddened smile to the Autobot leader, before belching out another letter, causing the Autobot leader to jump backwards and knock over a couple of bookshelves.

“Oops. My bad,” apologized Optimus Prime, sheepishly.

“Ah, man! Twilight and I are gonna have to clean those up later!” complained Spike.

“Er, did you not receive a letter?” Optimus Prime pointed out, hoping to distract the dragon from his mishap.

Spike read the letter, “and one for you, Spike.” The young dragon ran out after his pony friends, giggling with excitement.

Optimus wiped a bead of imaginary sweat off his helmet, and turned to see the Autobots looking at him with amused expressions.

“I, er, imagine I shall be hearing tales of my accident for some time,” spoke Optimus, prompting the other Autobots to snicker and laugh at their leader’s expense. Optimus simply smiled, partially in embarrassment and partially in amusement, and shook his head in the same combination of emotions at his teammates.