Discord Throws a Feast

by TheVClaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4670

Twilight is invited to a special party that's held by Discord, and reluctantly decides to attend. Unfortunately, she's the only one there. And Discord made nothing but quesadillas.

When Twilight Sparkle was given an invitation to a special event hosted by Discord, she was more than a little apprehensive. However, despite her best judgement, she decided to attend for the sake of being a good friend for the reformed Draconequus.

However, when she arrives, she realizes two very big things that Discord has done for this "party"...

One: Twilight is the only pony here.
And Two: There are quesadillas everywhere.

EVERYWHERE

I want to give a special thanks to my Boo Storm Butt for proofreading this for me.

Published 2015-08-09 03:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-08-09 03:20:02 UTC

AKA, Twilight's Cheesy Night

Knock knock knock

“Ooh, goodie!” squealed Discord cheerfully as soon as he heard the door knock. Keeping a smile on his face, the Draconequus made sure that his tuxedo jacket was prim and proper against his mismatched form before going to answer the door. As he walked down the empty ballroom, which he had reserved specifically for this night, Discord sighed in delight before opening the door and growing an elated grin.

“Why hello, Princess Twilight!” said Discord graciously, seeing the lavender Alicorn stand before him outside the frame of the door. Twilight, despite looking slightly worried, carried a smile of her own while wearing a dark blue evening gown. After bringing his head back up, Discord had a bouquet of plastic flowers appear out of thin air as a gift as he kept his grin on the lone mare. “It’s quite a nice surprise for you to arrive.”

“Well,” began Twilight with a shrug and looked around cautiously, realizing that nopony else seems to be here tonight. She accepted the “flowers” before looking back at him to say, “I got your invitation for this party in the mail, so it would probably seem rude not to come.”

“Oh, don’t be preposterous.” Discord lifted the heavy claw on his right arm, motioning for the Princess to enter. “I know that due to… unsavory events in the recent past, that most ponies would be unsure or even uncaring about me throwing a little soireelike this. But even so, I’m delighted that you accepted my invitation, your Highness.”

“Well, it’s no problem,” said the Alicorn as she slowly walked into the vacant ballroom. Despite how nice Discord was acting, Twilight still kept a suspicious gaze as she followed the Draconequus through the grand, empty space. While she knew that Discord really was trying to reform after his incident with Lord Tirek, Twilight was also aware that old habits can die hard. Along with that, more recent problems that arose with him (including at the most recent Grand Galloping Gala) left the Alicorn to look over at Discord with narrowed eyes. “So… where exactly is everypony?”

Discord made a small shrug, still keeping his pleased grin while going to the dining quarters. “I haven’t the slightest idea. Actually, Princess, you’re the first pony to show up tonight.”

Hearing that answer, Twilight looked even more suspicious while walking alongside him. “... Is that so?”

Even though she didn’t want Discord to think she was acting overly cautious, it was hard for her not to feel that way in regards to him. Remembering what occurred recently when Cadence came to visit her in Ponyville, Twilight knew that Discord wasn’t above making something this big up for his own amusement. Plus, she specifically came to the Draconequus’s “Grand Feast” ten minutes late, just to try and be “Fashionably late”. But unless everypony else decided to do that exact same thing, it was clear to the Princess that Discord was hiding something.

“But still,” continued Discord as he walked with a growing smirk on his fanged muzzle, “I’m glad that my food won’t go completely to waste. After all…” He looked back at Twilight with a coy grin as the two reached the dining hall’s doors. “... I wanted this meal to be special.”

By now, any attempts that Twilight made to keep a smile were long gone. Seeing how Discord was acting, she was absolutely sure that the Draconequus was up to something. Whether it was some elaborate prank of his, or Celestia forbid, a date, Twilight was prepared to leave if anything troubling were to arise.

Of course, as soon as the dining hall’s doors opened, Twilight only looked in confusion while Discord walked over to one end of the massively long and empty table. Even though the invitation Discord sent said that he had a “Wondrous meal of epic proportions” planned, Twilight saw nothing but the polished mahogany that laid underneath the chandelier. Of course, the Princess’s suspicions quickly reemerged when she noticed one other big detail:

Only two chairs were set up.

Discord made a particularly loud gasp when he reached his own chair, and the avian claw on his left arm came up to his face. “Oh, my goodness!” He pulled up a huge stack of cards from his seat, clearly the same as the invitation that Twilight received. “It’s all of the other invitations to this party! I sent out yours personally, but it seems like I forgot about the others!” He then looked back at her with an exaggerated pout. “I guess… it’s only you and me.”

With her lips pursed shut, Twilight’s eyes quickly darted around the room for a preemptive escape route. “Discord, what is this?”

“Oh, but it’s fine!” assured Discord with a wave of his claw as he sat down in his seat. “It’s perfectly fine! After all, I was glad that you showed up for this.”

Twilight slowly made one step back from him, already looking like she was going to make a beeline for the door. “Okay, I seriously need to know if you really have a party planned.”

“Why of course I have!” said Discord in an exaggeratedly offended-sounding tone of voice as he brought his right paw up to his face in faux shock. “Twilight Sparkle, surely you can’t be assuming that I lied about this!”

Twilight’s suspicious glare became more apparent as she replied with gritted teeth, “Well, it wouldn’t be the first time you lied to me.”

While the Draconequus rolled his eyes, all while keeping a small smirk, Twilight was sure to add bluntly, “Plus, you don’t seem to be that upset that I’m the only pony here.”

“Well,” began Discord in a more positive tone than the mare’s, “one pony is better than none, is it not?” With a snap of his left claw, he kept his smile while Twilight’s chair immediately sprung to life, galloping over to the Princess to have her seated. “Besides, after how you showed your friendship to me after Tirek, I wouldn’t even dare make a lie this grandiose for you!”

Twilight yelped as she was thrown into her chair, and had to hold onto it tightly while she was brought to the end of the table opposite Discord’s. “Besides,” he continued with a warm smile, “I haven’t made a single lie about this party, Twilight. I have made a grand meal, and I really do want to share it with the ponies I care about. And even though you’re the only pony here, I think that having you stay would be a wonderful sign of our growing friendship, don’t you think?”

Twilight wanted to say something, anything to ensure that Discord wasn’t just going to spring a nasty trap for her. However, looking over at him, Twilight wasn’t sure if he was actually lying; after all, ever since Twilight and Cadence had to care for him when he claimed to be “sick,” it was fairly clear to know when he was lying through his fang. And right now, all that the Alicorn could see from Discord was a gracious smile.

So, after tapping her hoof against the table worriedly, Twilight made one last look around the room before giving a heavy sigh. “Oh…. alright…” Despite feeling like she was going to regret this decision, the mare swallowed her pride before looking back to Discord. “If… if you really do have a party planned, then… I’ll stay.”

Discord’s smile grew wickedly large from the Princess’s answer. “Marvelous!” He clapped his claw and paw in glee, making himself look like a colt on Hearth’s Warming Morning while in his seat. “Well,” began the Draconequus cheerfully, “Are you ready for a feast, Princess Twilight?”

Twilight bit her lip in nervousness, but took another breath before making a small shrug. “Well… I suppose I could eat a little…”

As his smile grew even wider, Discord’s eyes narrowed on Twilight as he lifted his claw. “Excellent…”

SNAP!

A loud poof made a heavy cloud of magic spew from the table, which quickly evaporated to reveal what Discord has made for the Princess.

“AAAAAHHHH!!!”

Twilight bolted from her seat in an instant. Despite the table being over twenty feet long and large enough to hold a meal fit for a Yak army, Discord’s magic was able to conjure up his “feast” in an instant, which covered every inch of the table.

With nothing but piles and piles of quesadillas.

Looking like a petrified housecat, Twilight was balanced on the top of the backrest of her seat as her breathing started to turn rapid. With her fur being brought upward along her back, the alicorn’s wide-open eyes showed nothing but pure fear as she looked down at the “feast” that Discord had on display.

“Well, what do you think?’ asked the Draconequus with a grin as he sat behind his massive creation proudly. ”I’m sooo glad that you were able to attend my special Quesadilla party!”

“Ggggnnnnn!!!!” Despite her feared cry coming out more like a strained whinny through her clenched teeth, Twilight frantically looked behind her to see if she could make it to the door. However, the sight of the rest of the room made the Alicorn nearly bolt back and fall into the very pile of Quesadillas that made her so terrified in the first place. “GAAAHHH!!!”

“Oh, I was wondering when you would notice,” said Discord in a chipper tone of voice as he began to load his plates with slices of quesadillas. “You see, I made so many quesadillas for this party, that I decided to decorate the room with them as well! The walls, the floors, the ceiling and the chandelier. Why, I even put them on the doorknobs and window locks!”

As he emphasized those last two things, Discord’s eyes peered back up at Twilight as his grin grew larger. “Don’t you think it gives the room a nice vibe, Princess? It’s almost like you can’t look anywhere without seeing a quesadilla!”

Every time the Princess turned her head, a small yelp escaped her mouth when she quickly realized that Discord was right. Every single place that Twilight saw was absolutely covered in quesadillas. The floor was lined with them, as were the walls. Small quesadillas were wrapped around the doorknobs, making yellow globs of cheese slowly drip from them. And all along the ceiling, as well as the chandelier which had quesadillas arranged somewhat tastefully on it, more cheese began to dribble out from the edges of the slices, making it slowly rain down around the two guests.

Twilight nearly retched when she saw drips of cheese fall down from the ceiling to the table and floor. Due to the terrifying volume of quesadillas in the room, a heavy aroma of melted cheese was quickly lingering in the air, making the Alicorn cover her muzzle with a hoof while she stayed balanced on top of her seat.

“Oh Twilight,” continued the Draconequus. He picked up an especially large quesadilla slice with both his claw and his paw. “Why don’t you sit down? We both have a lot of…” He pulled the tortillas on his quesadilla apart slowly, letting all the melted cheese drip and stretch apart in front of Twilight. “...CHEESY goodness to go through!”

Just a single sight of that quesadilla being opened forced a stomach turning, gurgle of a gag to escape from Twilight’s mouth. She turned her head away to point to the floor, her eyes clenched shut to try not to see any of the quesadillas right underneath her seat.

“So, what would like first?” asked Discord as he used his tail to move a plate towards her side of the table. “Do you want a quesadilla with extra cheese? Or a quesadilla with extra extra cheese?”

“DISCORD STOP IT!!!” The Alicorn fell back into her seat, sitting in a near-fetal position as she tried not to cry. She looked back at the Draconequus with a pained snarl as she growled towards him, “Why did you do this?”

“Why, what do you mean?” asked Discord before tossing his opened quesadilla over towards Twilight, making her jolt once more. Giggling to himself in delight, he then picked up another quesadilla to open slowly as he continued to speak. “I just wanted to throw a special party for you! You should be more appreciative, Princess”

The Alicorn’s sneer became more apparent, and her eyes narrowed in him in growing rage. “Discord… you didn’t plan to invite anypony else, did you?”

Discord made a faux gasp as he brought his paw to his chest. “Why, Twilight Sparkle, I am appalled!” He held the unbelievably fake pout on his lips when he stared at the Princess. He waved his opened quesadilla in his claw while speaking. “You make it sound like I discovered Pinkie Pie’s secret party vault, looked through her records, and discovered your irrational fear of quesadillas!”

Twilight’s eyes shot wide open, and her teeth gritted together as if she were about to decimate Discord to pieces on the spot. The Draconequus on the other hoof, just paused before bringing his paw up to cover his guilty smile. “Oopsie… Did I say that out loud?”

If it wasn’t for the heavy stench of cheese which was now nearly overpowering the room, the Princess would’ve panted through her nostrils like a bull that saw the color red. Instead, she just breathed in through her clenched teeth as she spoke venomously. “This… is the sickest thing you have ever done.”

“Oh, come on!” said Discord with a roll of his eyes. “This barely qualifies as being ‘sick’! If anything, you’re the one with a sickness if you think this is something to get worked up about!” He threw his second quesadilla aside as he brought both arms out to motion around the room. “I mean, look around! It’s just tortillas and cheese! Are you seriously going to get worked up over THIS?! After everything else you and your friends have managed to accomplish?!”

Even though Twilight was still extremely unnerved about the quesadillas she saw in every direction (which she could swear were getting closer to her), she also knew that Discord had a point. Of course, all that she gave the Draconequus was an especially bitter glare when she looked back at him.

“In fact,” continued Discord as he leaned back in his seat, throwing his legs up on the table to make a light splat as cheese splattered against his goat hoof and dragon claw, “this is one of the big reasons I invited you here tonight. I think that this fear of yours is very irrational! So, as a good friend, I want to help you conquer your fears by showing you that it’s nothing to get worked up about!”

“GAH!!!” Twilight kicked a quesadilla away from her seat with a hoof. “ONE OF THEM TOUCHED ME!”

“Well, I didn’t place them on the ceiling with super glue or anything! They’re held up by their own cheese, so a couple of quesadillas falling down is bound to be expected.”

“DISCORD, PLEASE!!” Twilight, now looking more worried than anything else, had her forelegs wrapped around herself as she rocked in her seat. Her eyes were looking up at the dripping ceiling with obvious fear. “Th-this isn’t f-f-funny!!”

“Well, one,” began Discord. He brought up a talon on his claw to make his first point, “it sort of is funny. And two, I’m doing this because I want to help you! Why are you so worried about quesadillas for?!”

“They… they’re CHEESY!” After making that panicked outburst towards him, the Princess cradled in her seat a bit before shuddering with great distaste.

“So?” asked the Draconequus with a confused shrug of his shoulders. “You eat cheesy things all the time! You had fondu with Rarity and Fluttershy the other day! And I know for a fact that your favorite food is nachos! That’s literally the same thing! It’s tortillas and cheese!”

“It is NOT the same thing!” roared the Alicorn as she peered at Discord with fury. “For one, I am VERY careful with the distribution of cheese when it comes to fondu! And Spike’s nachos have VERY little cheese on them! It’s mostly refried beans and peppers, with a VERY LIGHT amount of cheese on top! IT IS NOT THE SAME!”

Discord crossed his arms with a disappointed sigh, and pulled his cheese-splattered legs off of the mountain of quesadillas in front of him. “Alright, now you’re just looking silly.”

A heavy frown was accompanying Twilight’s angered stare on the Draconequus, and looked quite offended that he even thought of saying something like that while sitting like some sort of Quesadilla King. “You’re calling ME ‘silly’?!”

Discord kept his deadpan stare before stating bluntly, “Well, you’re the one who’s acting irrationally, Princess! I don’t see any reason for you to be acting this way, so you’re not leaving until you come to terms with your fears!”

“Oooohhhh, no I’m not!” scolded Twilight as she turned around in her seat. “I am NOT staying in this roo-AAHHH!!!” Before she could attempt to fly out of her seat, a particularly large glob of cheese from the ceiling plopped down to the floor right in front of her, making the Alicorn yelp and cover her head immediately.

“Can you at least try to explain why you feel this way?” asked Discord in a more sympathetic tone of voice. “Because to me, it sounds like some traumatic event occurred in your past which made you afraid of quesadillas, and you’ve been unable to move past it since.”

“NO IT IS NOT!” roared the Alicorn back at him furiously. “I just don’t like cheesy things!”

“Oh, come on!” Discord rolled his eyes in annoyance. “Just tell me what happened! Do I have to make some of these quesadillas spring to life and start flying around you?”

A terrified scream escaped Twilight as she shrunk in her seat and looked around in panic. “PLEASE DON’T!”

“Then open up to me!” Discord then picked up a quesadilla, and began to munch on it in front of her. “Seriously, I worked hard on this meal, and these quesadillas are really good!”

While speaking, Discord emphasized his words by flinging his quesadilla around in his claw, making several more globs of cheese come out and splatter on the table. Twilight screamed and covered her head again, not wanting any of the cheese to get on her.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic! That cheese didn’t get anywhere near you! Besides, I’d be more worried about the ceiling!”

Twilight flinched and made a high-pitched noise that could only be a described as a mix between a groan and a whine. With her hooves still over her head, she looked up to the ceiling in terror. “EEEP!!! NOT MY MANE!”

Discord’s brows raised in slight suspicion. “Hmmm… your mane, huh?”

“Sh-shut up!” With a worried pout on her still angry-face, the Princess struggled not to give the Draconequus any hints with that outburst. “Melted cheese is really hard to get out of my mane!”

Discord asked with growing interest, “And how would you know that?”

Twilight felt her heart shoot up into her throat, instantly regretting what she said. She looked away from Discord, still flinching each time she heard drips of cheese rain down onto the ground. “I-I-I… don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I think you do.” Discord, who now had a more cocky smile on his fanged muzzle, chuckled under his breath as he continued to speak. “In fact, I think I know exactly what occurred! You got a quesadilla on your mane as a filly, and that somehow caused enough of a negative response from you to have a deep-rooted fear of them!”

“Tha-that’s not true!” shouted Twilight, not realizing how much she was stuttering out of fear.

“I bet it is!” With his smile now at a full Cheshire-sized grin, Discord began to slink across the table towards her, each step making a lock crackle or squish from his weight that bore down on the melted cheese and grilled tortillas underneath him. “Come on, Princess,” said the Draconequus in a more reserved tone as he came closer towards her with a randy smile, “I want you to open up to me…”

Twilight cringed and turned her head away, not wanting to see him get closer while his limbs all began to get cheese splattered on them.

“Tell me, Twilight,” continued Discord as he lifted a claw to lick the excess cheddar that was on his digits. “What happened? Did Spike have a cooking incident one day in the kitchen? Was it an innocent prank done to you by your brother?”

A low groan escaped the mare as she tried to pull herself further from Discord, all while still staying in her seat among the sea of cheesy terror.

“Or did you think it would be funny one day to open a large, gooey quesadilla, just loaded with cheese,” he said with a lecherous grin, “and wear it over your head like a hat?”

“NO!!!” Looking almost outraged by that suggestion, she turned back towards him with a furious glare. “I would NEVER do that!! And Lyra didn’t either!”

Twilight immediately closed her muzzle tightly, her pupils shrinking a little. Discord, not expecting that last statement, grew a more elated expression while sitting in front of her. “Aha! So you DO know what caused it!”

Twilight hunched down in her seat with a bit lip, hating that Discord was able to get to her quicker than any of those therapists that her parents sent her to when she was younger. Of course, none of this was admitted out loud, and she instead sighed painfully through her scowl. “Sh… shut up…”

“Not until you tell me what happened.”

With her pout growing stronger, Twilight almost looked like a filly again as she sat in her seat and tried to ignore the quesadilla Tartarus she was in. After almost a minute of silence, the Alicorn looked down at her hooves as she spoke meagerly, “I… I was in the cafeteria… back when I was in the Gifted Unicorn Academy…”

“Mmmmhmmm…” Discord waited patiently as he chewed on another quesadilla from the pile he was sitting on. “Go on…”

“A-and…” With the way her bottom lip began to quiver, it looked like Twilight was going to start crying as she spoke in a whimpered and horrified tone. “There… there was a… a food fight…”

Discord only responded with a tilt of his head.

“And… and L-L-Lyra….” She made a heavy sniff as she kept talking. “She… she threw a… a…”

“A quesadilla?” asked Discord so the story can continue. Twilight only gave a faint nod, not looking up to him to make that confirmation.

“Y-yeah. And… and it… got into my mane, and…” She began to rock herself in her seat, trying her hardest not to start tearing up. “And the cheese dried up, so… so the teacher had to cut it…”

The mare shuddered deeply as she clutched her hair even tighter. “And… and it was horrible! It… it took so long to grow back! And my bangs were uneven for weeks!”

Discord blinked a couple times as he let her story sink in, and took a moment before responding, “So… that’s the reason you’re afraid of quesadillas?”

Twilight’s hooves came back down as she answered with a huff. “Y-yes. And… and I know it’s a stupid thing to be afraid of, okay?! I don’t want to be scared of it, but… I’m not sure if it’s something I can change.”

“Oh, please!” Discord rolled his eyes, making the Princess look up at him with a glare. “You’re the Princess of Friendship! You’re telling me that you can save Equestria more times than I can count with my claw, but THIS is something you can’t conquer?! Do you really see the logic in that?”

Twilight’s pout came back, and she crossed her hooves as she avoided his gaze. “Well, no. But I’ve already came to terms with that.”

“Well, you shouldn’t!” Discord stood upright on top of the table, looking down at the Alicorn like a daring explorer atop his mountain of still-steaming cheesiness. He pointed a talon down at her and asked in a triumphant tone, “Twilight Sparkle, do you want to face your fears once and for all!?”

Twilight began to look worried when she looked up at him. “W… why?”

“Good enough answer for me!” shouted Discord with glee. Standing on top of his table of quesadillas, he brought his arms up as he shouted proudly into the room:

“COMMENCE THE FONDU SHOWER!!!”

“AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!”

Before Discord could snap his paw to make the room rain in melted cheese, an explosion of lavender erupted and temporarily blinded him. After a heavy crash, Discord was thrown off his table by the sheer force of Twilight’s magic, landing on the quesadilla floor after what felt like an earthquake occurred in the room. When he finally came to, he coughed a couple times as the taste of plaster stayed strong on his tongue. “What the…”

Discord lifted himself up, and his eyes widened in shock when the dust began to settle. A giant hole was blown out of the dining hall’s side wall, revealing the outdoors and Canterlot’s city scape with the image of Twilight quickly disappeared among Luna’s night. Looking around, Discord sighed when he saw how much plaster dust and debris was in the room, covering almost all the food that he made. “Awww, shoot.”

A familiar voice caught Discord’s attention from behind as she asked, “Well, Discord?”

Walking into the room with a fairly confident grin, Celestia’s horn was lit as she used her magic to brush aside all the quesadillas as she walked towards the Draconequus. With a free hoof, she lifted up a stopwatch that was on a golden chain by her waist. “What was the time?”

Discord groaned with distaste when he looked back at her, and grumbled to himself. He reached inside of his ear to pull out his own clock. After a loud pop, a much larger stopwatch was held in his paw as he looked at the time. “It says…” His tone turned more disappointed as he announced, “five minutes and eleven seconds.”

Celestia chuckled while holding her own watch. “Likewise. Which means, she lasted longer than you bet she would.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Discord muttered bitterly as his claw went behind his back. Reaching into his bat-wing, he pulled out a large bag of bits and handed it over to the Princess. “I’m honestly surprised she didn’t just teleport out of the room. I guess her fears clouded her judgement a little.”

“Or...” Celestia’s tone turned slightly more cocky as she picked up her winnings with her magic. “Perhaps you underestimated Twilight Sparkle’s ability to face her fears directly instead of leaving instantly.”

As she looked around the room, Celestia sighed a little before adding, “Although… I am glad that you got her to talk about it. Even I had a difficult time getting her to open about her fears.”

Discord shrugged with a light smile of his own. “Well, hopefully this will help her.”

Before Celestia could agree, her ears twitched when she heard a blood-curdling scream from a very far distance away. Realizing that it was Twilight’s voice, her gaze turned back to Discord with a stern look. The Draconequus, on the other hoof, was looking away from her with a guilty grin.

“Discord… what did you do?”

Discord’s fake expression of shock came back as he brought his paw to his chest. “Why, Celestia! Why would you say that?! You’re acting like I also filled her bedroom with quesadillas as well!”

Celestia’s eyes shot wide open in a rage, prompting Discord to cover his smile with his paw. “Oops… My bad.“

The End