How Party Pooped Should Have Ended

by infernape612

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Yaks, Main 6
Length: 1047

Twilight puts her hoof down when a diplomatic visit gets out of hand.

Twilight puts her hoof down when a diplomatic visit goes awry.

A short one-shot written in response to Season 5, Episode 11: Party Pooped. But you probably figured that out. Warning: ham to ham combat aplenty.

Published 2015-06-27 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-27 18:30:02 UTC

How Party Pooped Should Have Ended

Twilight Sparkle was under a lot of stress. She had jumped at the chance Princess Celestia had given her to host a delegation of yak diplomats and convince them to sign a treaty of alliance with Equestria and her ponies, but so far the visit had been a disaster. The leader of the delegation, Prince Rutherford, had turned out to be incredibly picky and explosively hot-tempered, two traits that were generally agreed to be a bad combination for anypony, let alone a diplomat. He had generally responded to any and all attractions set up by her fellow Element-bearers by smashing everything in sight. The only hope left was the upcoming traditional Yakyakistan party, but even that was looking worse and worse by the second; Ponyville's premier party pony, Pinkie Pie (try saying that one ten times fast), had bolted for Yakyakistan itself in order to get some sort of trinket to bring back and hopefully appease the yaks, leaving them to impatiently wait for her return. In an act of pure desperation, Twilight had ordered Spike to play some Yakyakistan music on a piano to calm them down. He had complained that he didn't know how to play the piano, so Twilight had simply installed a recording inside the piano and ordered Spike to wing it. As Spike claw-synced the music, the yaks were emotionally crying.

Could it be?, Twilight thought. Could something actually be going right for once?

Spike finished the song and got up to address the audience. "Thank you! Thank you very much! Twilight told me to stall- I mean, entertain you, and I'm very glad you were all pleased with my performance-" His left claw shot out and accidentally hit the piano, knocking off the front cover and revealing the recording.

Of course not.

Prince Rutherford screamed, "THIS MUSIC IS A LIE!!! YAKS SMASH!!!" Spike's eyes shrunk into pinpricks as the three enraged yaks, for what seemed to be the umpteenth time today, leaped onto his impromptu stage and smashed the piano into pieces. But before he could try to stop them, a hoof struck out and smashed into his gut, sending him flying through 7 buildings and eventually causing him to crash into a tree head-first.

"SPIIIIIIKE!!!!" Twilight screamed. All of a sudden, the world around her became a blur. Sparks began coming out of her horn, mane, and tail, and her eye began twitching, all signs that something bad was about to happen.

"ENOUGH STALLING! YAKS WANT PARTY NOW!" Prince Rutherford bellowed out in his baritone voice. The four remaining ponies on scene glanced at Twilight, and saw she was not going to be able to calm him down.

Rarity did some quick thinking, and decided that Prince Rutherford, who was now pounding the rest of the stage into dust and splinters, was the more immediate problem and needed to be taken care of first. She quickly whispered, "Spike will be fine. Rainbow Dash and I have seen him survive a belly flop into lava and come out unscathed!" The others nodded, and ran up to Prince Rutherford. "Now, then, I'm sure you're just as... antsy to get the traditional Yakyakistan party started as we are, but our party planner is currently in the middle of preparing the absolute best-"

"NO MORE WAITING! PARTY NOW!!!"

Fluttershy squeaked, "Please, calm down... You'll only have to wait a little whi-"

"ENOUGH!!! YAKS MAD! YAKS GO HOME!" The four ponies promptly started protesting, but Prince Rutherford cut them all off with another loud roar. "YAKS NO BE FRIENDS! YAKS BE ENEMIES! YAKS DECLARE WAR ON EQUESTRIA!" The blood drained out of everypony's faces. All except one.

"...War?" Everypony and everyyak turned to Twilight, who was slowly turning to face Rutherford. Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack took one look at her face, and promptly vacated the space between her and the yak delegation. "WAR?!" And with that, Twilight exploded. Her coat turned white, her eyes turned red, and her mane combusted into flame. The next thing anyone knew, she was right up in Rutherford's face. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE PULLED TODAY, YOU'RE GOING TO DECLARE WAR?!"

"PONIES NO MAKE EVERYTHING PERFECT FOR YAKS! YAKS OFFENDED-"

"OFFENDED?!" Twilight's tone softened, although nobody mistook the tranquil fury in her voice. "You have spat on every single effort to make you feel welcome here, caused hundreds of thousands of bits in property damage, and assaulted my friends, AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO SAY YOU'RE OFFENDED?!" By now, Rutherford and his companions' knees were shaking, and they were backing away in fear of what the enraged alicorn was going to do next. "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOU THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM EVERY TIME SOMETHING DOESN'T GO YOUR WAY! SO WHY DON'T YOU TAKE YOUR LITTLE HANDMAIDENS AND GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I BUCK YOU BACK TO YAKYAKISTAN MYSELF!!!" The three yaks promptly turned and fled in terror, screaming all the way. Twilight's appearance returned to normal, and she took off in the direction Spike went flying.

Applejack was the first to speak up. "...Whoa, nelly."

One week later, Twilight was reading in the library she had (to nopony's surprise) immediately demanded installed in her castle. She heard the door creak open, and Spike came in holding an ice pack to his head and carrying a letter. "It's from Princess Celestia." Twilight nodded, accepted the letter, and began to read.

Dear Twilight Sparke,

King Ulysses has just arrived in Canterlot to personally apologize for his son's abominable behavior. He was hoping for Rutherford to gain some much-needed political experience, but obviously he has a lot to learn. His threat of war was just bluffing and bluster, and I'm proud of the way you handled yourself. Naturally, the expenses for the repairs to Ponyville will be coming out of Rutherford's pocket. (Not that the townsponies really care; they really have seen everything!) Take care of yourself, and make sure Spike gets plenty of rest.

Your faithful teacher, Princess Celestia

Twilight looked up to Spike, and saw that he had promptly fallen asleep on the ground, using his ice pack as a pillow. Twilight chuckled to herself before returning to her book.

THE END