Where'd you go?

by Sonaria

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Sad, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rarity, Romance
Length: 3386

After tons of consideration, Rarity decides that she's going to let her favorite farm girl know how she feels.

Rarity has found that she's fallen in love with one of her best friends. Well, there a few things that can be done in a situation like this: Try and push the feelings aside for the sake of your friendship, or you just tell them how you feel and hope for the best. In Rarity's case, she decides to go with the latter. After considering the ways AJ could react, or the way it could affect their friendship, she decides she wants to let her feelings be known regardless if they're returned or not.

Though, she'd prefer that they were returned.

Published 2015-07-28 19:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-10-21 03:29:48 UTC

Don't Complicate it

Rarity re-wrapped her scarf around her neck when the winter air bit at her bare skin. She shivered a little at the cool breeze in the air as she walked down the long dirt road that led to the old farm home. It was a rather long walk to the farm, it was a walk she hardly ever made, but a walk she couldn't say she minded it either. Of course, she could really do without the dirt road ruining her shoes, or the unpleasant smells of the farm, but other than those things, it was a nice walk.

The girl's heart beat was like a drum in her ears. The thought of seeing her favorite blonde always made her heart race, however, this visit was a little different. This visit was a visit that the indigo haired girl had considered for many months, and it was one that could change everything between the two for the better or for the worse. Many outcomes and reactions had played through her mind at least once. At first, when she began her journey towards the farm, the outcomes were delightful. They had all ended with Applejack returning her feelings, and it all worked out. Now, as her journey came to its end, the outcomes were much more painful. They, instead, ended with Applejack not returning her love, or, goddesses forbid, Applejack would become uncomfortable and not want to be around Rarity as much. Or at all. She mentally went over what she wanted to say one more time as she walked up to their home.

There was really no going home now. She had already come all the way out here, she was even at their door step. If anyone had noticed her arrival, she would have looked awfully silly just walking away now. She doubted that anyone did notice her, but she really didn't want to take that chance. Taking one deep breath, she knocked on the door and waited anxiously for it to open. A few muffled voices could be heard from inside, as well as foot steps moving towards the door. The young lady steadied her breath as she watched it open to reveal a short, old lady.

"Well howdy Rarity," the older woman greeted, "did'ja come by for some nice, warm cider?"

"Sorry to say, but I didn't," she gave an apologetic smile before continuing, "Actually, I was hoping I could speak to Applejack for a moment."

Granny Smith nodded and shouted through the house to her granddaughter, letting her know that she had a visitor. The white haired woman's shout had caught Rarity off guard and startled her greatly. She moved her head slightly in hopes to see over or around the woman, in hopes to see AJ a little sooner. Her attempts quickly ended when she heard her friend's voice from inside.

"Now, there ain't no reason to be yellin' like that, granny! I'm right here," Applejack called from the same room before she stood from the couch and made her way over to the door as Granny Smith returned to her chores. "Wouldya like to come in?" she asked.

Rarity shook her head and responded with a smile, "I was thinking we could take a walk." Being inside and warm was a really nice thought, but she didn't want Applejack's family to be there for whatever was going to happen.

Without saying another word, Applejack grabbed her coat from behind the door and slipped it on as she walked out int to the cold afternoon air. The two walked in silence down into the orchard. The paler girl's heart was going faster than it had before as she rehearsed what she was going to say in her mind. Her mouth opened to start her confession but closed again when the farm girl began speaking.

"So, what'd y'all come down to the farm for?" She gave her friend a side long glance, that reminded Rarity of the first time she had noticed her feelings for Aj.

It was the summer after Twilight had come to help them with various events, while also reuniting the old group of friends. One day, the group, plus Sunset Shimmer, agreed to meet at Applejack's and spend the day together at a swimming hole not to far away from the farm. As planned, they all spent the day at the swimming hole catching up, playing, and having a good time.

That evening was an evening Rarity would never forget; as the sun had began to duck below the horizon, it created one of the most beautiful sunsets she'd ever seen. She watched as the sun's lingering light mingled with the rolling clouds and painted the skies first orange, then hot pink, then a mauve fading into a stale blue; everything seemed to be tinted with a golden glow. As the sun continued to fall behind the distant mountains, the sky's beautiful colors faded as did the golden tint.

"I do so wish those happened more often. Did you see the way my skin just absolutely glowed in that lighting?" Rarity said flipping her hair and finishing with a pout.

"But.. Good things are better when they're a rarity," Applejack said with a wink and a warm smile that drew a sentimental approval out of the fashionista.

The comment itself made Rarity happier than it should have, but Applejack's smile left her feeling something much deeper.

The thought of the memory brought a smile to Rarity's face, as well as a few butterflies to her stomach. Thinking back like that almost caused her to forget to answer the previously asked question.

"Well, darling, there was something I wanted to talk to you about," she said with more seriousness than she has intended. The two had stopped walking and stood facing each other. The blonde stared at her fashionista friend, with visible concern, waiting for her to continue, but there was nothing but more silence. Rarity found that it was harder to do than she thought it would be. Especially since AJ was looking right at her. She stayed silent as she considered backing out again. After failing to find anything that could be important enough to come down to the farm unannounced, she realized she wouldn't be backing out after all.

"Everything all right, sugarcube?" she was worried and slightly unsettled, but did her best not to let it be heard in her voice.

"No, everything is quite all right," she paused and closed her eyes briefly. Her words were soft, "for sometime now, I've noticed that you are on my mind more often than not."

Something in the way Applejack's eyebrows crinkled let Rarity know that this probably wasn't going to end the way she wanted it to. It caused her heart to pound a little harder and made more doubts rise to her mind.

She continued on regardless, though her voice carried a less confident tone, "I know this might seem rather odd," choosing her words more carefully this time around, "but I wanted to tell you that for some time now I've be--"

"No."

The short, bitter tone in the farm girl's voice was foreign to Rarity. Sure, the two had gotten to tiffs or small quarrels from time to time, but never had she heard anything so cold, so harsh, come from her friend before. It caused a twinge of pain in the fashionista, along with a realization that this definitely wasn't going to end well in any way.

"I.. Uh-um," She stuttered briefly, "n-no..? Wh.. I.. I-" Finding any words was a struggle for the poor girl. She tried forming complete and coherent sentences in her mind, but even that seemed impossible. Her mind raced trying to make sense of the one worded interruption, trying to think of anything to say. She considered playing it off, she considered acting irritated over being interrupted, and make up some other excuse for coming down here. Instead, she didn't have to come up with anything. Before her thoughts could further progress, the tense silence was broken.

"Ah think ah have an idea about where this is headin', so ah'm gonna go ahead and stop you," the coldness never left her voice.

Rarity know there was no getting out of this or playing it off. It just wasn't an option anymore. "I don't.." Her eyes closed then she huffed and spoke slowly, "this isn't going to change anything."

"Maybe ya don't think so, Rarity, but to me, it's a lot to take in."

"Why would it, Applejack? We can just" her voice trembled but she paused to steady it, "move past it."

The blonde remained quiet. Her silence filled Rarity with dread and regret, her silence was more or less hesitation on saying 'no.' She looked up to her friend, looked right into her eyes. Or, at least, she would have if green eyes weren't looking anywhere and everywhere to avoid blue eyes. For some reason, that made the stinging in her chest grow only more. Warm streams began flowing down the pale girl's face, leaving trails of eyeliner and make up streaked down her cheeks. The warm streaks would immediately be hit by cold air, causing her face to sting a little in the winter air. She was on the verge of falling apart right there, falling to the ground and curling over in despair. She hugged herself tightly and dug her fingers into her jacket just desperate to hold on to something.

In the steadiest way she could manage, she began to speak again, nearly whisper really. "Applejack.. Please, I don't want it to ruin anything! I wouldn't have said anything if I th-"

"Well, Ah wish you hadn't!" Her voice had lost the harshness, though it had been replaced with something else now. Something Rarity could only guess to be distress.

"Please," She tried has hard as she could to keep the desperation out of her voice as she spoke, "Just le-"

"A-ah think you've said enough and Ah.."  Applejack averted her eyes once more, "well, Ah think it's about time you left."

Her heart sank. She'd gone over this. She had prepared herself for this. She knew it was a possible outcome!  Why was it so hard now? She didn't really expect her feelings to be returned, but she at least thought they would be accepted. Surely this wasn't going to ruin their friendship right? They were so close, all of them were. They'd overcome things that were bigger than this before. The tears never stopped, they kept a steady stream down her face.

Applejack waited uncomfortably for Rarity to leave. After what seemed like a few minutes had passed, the blonde turned to make her leave, seeing as Rarity wasn't going to be the first to go. With everything in her, she wanted to call out to the tan girl; she wanted to run up to her and try to work this all out. She wanted to grab her arm and ask her to stay. But she knew it would make things worse, and she knew she would only be ignored or interrupted. Instead, all she did was watch her friend make her way back up to her home without so much as a glance back.

Mental Screaming

Once Applejack had walked off and into her house, Rarity had found herself alone in the cold. Her crying had become a little more intense as the realization started sinking in.

She's gone.

She hadn't lingered any longer, what would be the point in that? And began walking back down the dirt road. The walk seemed colder and longer than it first had barely 20 minutes ago.  The sting of rejection lingered but wasn't as a fierce as it first had been. She had expected to be rejected, it was a long shot to think any feelings would be returned. What she didn't expect was for Applejack to consider their friendship over.

Her long trek home was automatic and rather quiet--aside from a sniffle here and there. Her racing mind didn't slow as her tears did. Instead, her wandering mind nearly distracted her from the rejection. Now she worried more about whether or not Applejack still considered her a friend.

And if not, how would it effect their friend group?

What if the others thought less of her for liking girls?

Would Applejack even tell them?

What would they do at school Monday? Ignore and avoid each other?

What about at lunch? They all shared lunch   they all sat together.

Each thought made regret sink into her heart a little further. Sure the rejection hurt, but not only was she rejected, her friend almost made it clear that she didn't want to be friends anymore. Losing her completely wasn't anywhere as a possibility. Applejack was level-headed, Applejack was loyal, why did she react so harshly?

Against her will, her thoughts persisted all the way home. She was relieved to find that Sweetie Belle still hadn't returned home from Scootaloo's house. Dealing with her little sister was the last thing she wanted to do. All she wanted to was to be alone. She wanted to be alone until she felt better. Until her country friend had calmed down.

After greeting Opal briefly and making her way to her room she glanced at herself in the full length mirror and pitied her appearance for a moment. She considered leaving the ruined make up on and just going straight to bed, but ended up removing it anyway.

The fashionista laid curled up in her bed still unable to get her mind to stop. Something in her didn't want to sleep because she knew she would have to wake up feeling no better than she did now. But the rest of her wanted to sleep and get a small break from her thoughts.

Her crying was a periodic thing that stopped and started again for hours until she finally slipped into a restless sleep.

Unfortunately, Sunday had flown by at a terribly slow pace. It was spent locked in her room 'working on a new line of clothes' as she told her family. Really all she did was lay in her bed unsure of what to do. She considered texting AJ to talk things out, but instead decided against it. It felt like the day had gone by so slow, but before she knew it, it was Monday morning.

The group met at the wondercolt statue, as they did every morning to talk before their classes start. All girls chatted happily among themselves, unaware of the tension between two friends. Applejack contributed to the conversation but was somewhat tense and hardly acknowledged Rarity. Rarity hid her heartache well and, though slightly distant, her friends didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.

Each class was attended physically and her school routine was followed. Third period was drifting by at an ungodly pace. The indigo haired girl tried hard doing what she could to focus on her work, but she often found herself checking the clock.

Her failed attempts to stay busy only made each minute pass by slower. Either she was glancing to the clock, or worrying over what would happen at lunch. Their morning had gone by without a problem, surely lunch would too.

Finally, the bell signalling lunch rang and the students all filed into the soon to be bustling hallways.

Rarity grabbed her tray and sat between Sunset Shimmer and Fluttershy , Rainbow Dash sat directly in front of her with Pinkie Pie to her right and Applejack to her left.

The group all carried out individual conversations, save for two. Sunset, usually sat rather quiet, intently listening to her friends stories, laughing with them, or adding her input to various topics.  Today was no different. She sat quietly and looked between her friends. Applejack and Rainbow Dash seemed to be arguing over a new game that had just come out, Pinkie Pie talked away to Fluttershy, who just listened and giggled with her friend, and Rarity was ..talking to no one? Her head rested in one hand and she poked around in her lunch with a complete lack of interest for the rest of the group.

"So, Rarity," Sunset started slowly when she noticed how distant the fashionista was being,

"how was your weekend?"

A twinge of pain shot through her chest and she gave the briefest glance at AJ; Sunset's eyes followed the glance, "Oh, it was lovely," she finally answered with a small smile, trying to keep any sarcasm out of her voice.

Sunset's eyes fell back to Rarity then cocked a brow as she gave a knowing smirk, "Yeah? You two finally happened huh?" she chuckled.

Finally happened? You two? "I'm sorry, dear, I'm not sure I understand," the fashionista asked with confusion and a tint of worry. It was clear that Sunset knew about the feelings the fashionista had for the farm girl, and it made her feel some better knowing she didn't care that she felt that way for girls. Her eyebrows furrowed. What was confusing is that Sunset acted like she had been waiting for them to get together.

Sunset's face lost its smirk, and switched to a slight grimace as she mentally cursed herself about making such a big assumption from such a tiny glance. It didn't make sense anyway, considering how distant Rarity was, and how tense AJ had been. The two barely talked today, let alone to each other.

.

.

.

.

.

Click.

Sunset slapped her hand to her face when it finally clicked. How did she not notice sooner? Something did happen between the two friends, and it really didn't take a genius to figure out what that was.

And Sunset might have just made her friend feel worse about it.

"What did happen between you and AJ?" She wasn't trying to pry. She was really just letting Rarity that if she needed toor wanted toshe could talk to her.

Me and AJ.. Rarity stayed silent while her thoughts trailed off and she started thinking about the events that took place. The harshness in Applejack's voice, the way she made sure to avoid her stare, the way she just walked off. Her eyes closed when she felt tears start to build. Even if she felt like talking about it, she didn't want to talk about it in the school's cafeteria.

Or while Applejack was around.

Sunset stayed silent waiting for Rarity to respond but she never did. It wasn't just Sunset waiting quietly anymore, the rest of the table had noticed their friend's distress and all watched with worry. Except Applejack, who had started picking at her salad not wanting to look in the same direction as her friends.

"Um.. Rarity?" a timid voice asked.

Rarity snapped from her thoughts when she felt a hand placed on her shoulder.

"Is everything all right?"

Rarity looked up to meet her friends' eyes looking at her--save for a certain green pair that were suddenly fixated on a salad. Her head shook no before she could even register the question. Her eyes closed, and she mentally screamed at herself. Now her friends would press on the subject relentlesslyin front of Applejack no less. They meant well, but they had a tendency to pry into each other's lives on occasion.

They had the right to this time, it could affect all of them in a way. Still though, any other time would be way better than in the lunch room.

"What's going on?" The girls stared at her with worry and waited expectantly for her to speak, again, save for a blonde that remained awkwardly quiet, glancing to the indigo haired girl periodically.

She opened her mouth as if to speak, but no noise came.  She glanced to the blonde once more, their glances met and they held each other's gaze briefly before AJ looked away again. Rarity nervously took a bite of her salad trying to find anything to say. Luckily, she didn't have to. Before anymore questions could be asked, the bell rang and she was the first to leave the table.

Only then when she sat at her desk did she realize how bad that must have looked.

Hot Chocolate and Gossip

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

It's Impossible to Guess How Someone Else Feels

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Waiting around

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Understanding Yet?

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.