Dis-TV

by Vesperia

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 1289

With the invention of TV, Discord decided he is fit to host a TV channel and all the shows it contains.

Equestria, after recently discovering the radio, once again has a revolutionary technological breakthrough.

A certain pony invented the television and soon it gained widespread popularity. Ponies of all ages bought this brand new device and a new market was soon born. Television channels sprung up like daisies each showing what kind of popularity can be gleamed from television stardom.

And Discord wanted a piece of the action.

Inspired by Discord's Underground talk Radio

Published 2015-06-29 02:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-29 02:50:02 UTC

Wheel of Chaos!! Part 1

The camera zooms in with a musical fanfare to three empty pedestals.

"Hello everypony!" said Discord as he flashed in front of the camera while wearing a suit jacket and tie. A stylish greased up hairdo on his head.

"And welcome to... WHEEL...OF...CHAOS!!! Today's guests are..."

"The mare with her cherry(ies) still intact... Cherry Jubilee!" Cherry Jubilee appeared in a flash on the left pedestal, looking confused.

"The mare with a double life, Agen-er... BonBon!" BonBon flashed in next to Jubilee.

"And the stallion with a heart of apples... Braeburn!" Braeburn flashed in to the last pedestal.

"Wait, why am I..." Braeburn was interrupted by Discord spinning the large game wheel next to the contestants. All three could've sworn that wasn't there before.

"Let's see who goes first!" The camera switches to 'Wheel Cam' and it spins and occasionally twirls. It slows down and seems to land on Braeburn before immediately reversing to land on BonBon.

"Wha?! That thing is obviously rigged!" Shouted an outraged BonBon as she pointed a hoof at the wheel.

"It's not rigged, the wheel chooses the pony Ms. Bon. Now step up to the wheel and give it a spin!" With a flourish of his paw, Discord gestured to the imposing wheel. It now sported various pictures.

Gulping, BonBon slowly walked to the large wheel. Sighing, BonBon said, "Well, I might as well get this over with. My best friend must be so worried right now."

BonBon gripped one of the handles on the side of the wheel with her hoof and spun it. The wheel started off strong and BonBon chewed her hooves in nervousness as it slowed down. It stopped and the flap lands on a picture of...

"Well look at that folks! It seems that BonBon must receive a cream pie now!" A roar of approval came from the audience as a blushing and horrified BonBon stood still.

"Wha-what?!" BonBon backed up as Discord began his approach.

"Here's your cream pie, BonBon." With that little statement Discord quickly reached behind him and chucked a cream pie as big as a pony at BonBon. BonBon sat down on her haunches in disbelief, cream dripping from her face. It was everywhere, even in her mane.

"How about that, eh folks?" Discord received a round of applause as he bowed to the audience." And now for a word from our sponsor! Don't change that channel!" Discord winked and snapped his claw while it was pointed at the camera. He flashed out of the camera the next instant.

Commercial Break #1

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"Wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare! Wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare! Wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare!"

Discord in a dress shirt and tie slides in front of wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mares with a big grin.

"Hi i'm Discord, President and CEO of Discord's Wacky Inflatable Foreleg Flailing Tube Mare Emporium and Warehouse." Discord waves his arm skyward.

"Thanks to a materializing error with chaos magic I am currently overstocked with wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mares and I am passing the savings on to yoouuuu!" Discord finishes with his arms stretched wide above him, shaking his mismatched hands and all with that ever-present grin on his face.

"Attract customers to your business." A wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare is shown next to Carousel Boutique. Customers coming inside in droves.

"Make a splash at your next presentation." A wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare is shown next to Applejack as she and Big Mac talk about their farm.

"Keep Grandma company." A wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare is having tea with a smiling Celestia.

"Protect your crops."
"Confuse your neighbors."

"Zebra? Hail a cabpony!" A wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare hails a cabpony in Manehatten for a Zebra.

"Tesitfy in Celestia's Church."

"Or just raise the roof!" A wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare is partying in a rave thrown by Vinyl Scratch.

"Whatever your wacky inflatable foreleg flailing tube mare needs are! So come on down to Discord's Wacky Inflatable Foreleg Flailing Tube Mare Emporium and Warehouse!"

Wheel of Chaos Part 2

"Welcome back to... WHEEL...OF...CHAOS!!! I'm your host Discord, now let's have some fun!" Discord turned around and waved the camera forward before materializing back on stage.

"Let's see who is next!" The middle pedestal is noticeably empty and the other two contestant look more nervous than before.

"No need for the jitters now! We are all about fun here! For me anyway..." Discord muttered the last bit as he spun the wheel once again. It landed on Braeburn this time.

Braeburn gulped, "Oh nelly." He cautiously walked to the wheel.

After becoming tired of waiting Discord said, "Well give it a spin!"

Braeburn spun the wheel and watched with trepidation as it slowed down to a halt. The wheel stopped on...

"Cotton candy?" Asked a confused Braeburn.

"What luck! Braeburn has landed on cotton candy!" Shouted Discord with glee. He snapped his claw and a cotton candy maker flashed into existence next to Braeburn.

"Oh, so I get cotton candy then? This aint so-wha!" Braeburn flailed about as Discord picked him up and threw him into the cotton candy maker. He spun around and stretched for a while until Discord grabbed a cone and pulled him out.

Braeburn was set back on his hooves, dizzy but alive. He was fluffed out with cotton candy and had a cone on his forehead that made him look like a pink fluffy unicorn. Braeburn shook his head and got a good look at himself in a mirror that sprung up from the ground. He jumped in the air with panic, "Oh nelly! Ah got turned into cotton candy! Ah!!!" He bolted out of the studio on a long stretch of rainbow colored carpet. "Oh nelly." could be heard repeatedly as he ran away.

With a snap of his claw the candy maker disappeared and Discord turned towards a trembling Cherry Jubilee.

"Don't worry, he isn't actually cotton candy now. Just has a large eh... coating of it." This surprisingly did little to calm to terrified mare.

"Well since you are the last contestant we don't really need the contestant spin but... let's do it anyway!" With that he grabbed the wheel and gave it a good spin. The gleeful Draconequus and nerve-wracked mare watched as the wheel slowed. Both gave varying levels of confusion when it stopped.

"Me? Well this is sure surprising. didn't expect that, oh well." Discord shrugged and spun the wheel again. It slowed down to a crawl and was about to land on bankrupt, but Discord discreetly snapped his tail and when wheel snapped to the vacation spot.

Discord pumped his clawed arm, "Yes!"

The announcer came on, "Congratulations! You won a mandatory, all expense paid trip to... New Neighsy!"

Discords jaw dropped low enough to crack the stage. "Noo! not New Neighsy!" Discord wailed in anguish and dropped to his knees.

Discord slumped over in defeat. He perked up and said, "Well we still have one more-" Discord stopped short and put his paw to his ear. "What? No more time left? Ugh, fine. Honestly what's the point of owning the channel if I can't do what I want with it?"

Discord sighed, "Well it seems that we have run out of time folks. Tune in for the next show after another commercial break!"

With those last words theme music starts up as the camera pans out. The audience of Discords clap and cheer as the original dumped slime, glitter and gummy bears all over Cherry Jubilee who was sighing in relief. All the while the credits were rolling by with Discords name everywhere.