The Ballad of Time Turner and Rainbow Dash: Romance Novels can suck it.

by dramatic_spoon

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Romance, Original Character, Comedy, Slice of Life, Doctor Whooves, Main 6
Length: 13619

Time Turner and Rainbow Dash get married.

It's been a while since Rainbow Dash and Time Turner started dating.

Now the two face a brand new challenge:
Getting married.

For the first part, go Here

Published 2015-07-08 13:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-09-16 16:04:22 UTC

Can you Receive it?

“You’re getting what?!?”

Bluestreak flinched as Firefly slammed her hoof on the table, bending the spoon beneath it.

“Married,” Dash responded, holding up the locket, “See? He proposed with this.”

“When the hell was he planning on telling us? Or even asking us if it was alright?” Firefly slammed her hoof on the table again, further warping the spoon.

“He said he did ask,” Dash countered.

“Kid, I’d remember if he did.”

“He asked me,” Bluestreak muttered.

“What?” Firefly whirled around, staring daggers at her husband.

“He figured I was less likely to make a scene out of it. And besides, were you going to say no?”

“…I guess I wouldn’t have,” Firefly muttered.

“So it wouldn’t have made any difference,” Bluestreak countered.

“…Whatever,” Firefly slumped over in her seat, “Mom always warned me about this kind of thing.”

“About what, getting married?” Bluestreak snorted, “She never said anything to me.”

“Kid, you got any idea who’s gonna be your what?” Firefly ignored her husband.

“Kinda,” Dash shrugged.

“…You’re not making them all your bridesmaids, are you?”

“No, just some of them. I’m looking at, like, five bridesmaids.” Dash grumbled, “I’ve got different plans for the others.”

“…Well that doesn’t sound ominous or creepy,” Bluestreak chuckled, “Does Fortuna and Clagan know?”

“I think.”

“You think?” Bluestreak slumped over slightly, rubbing his temples with both hooves.

“He wouldn’t have proposed if he didn’t talk it over with them first,” Firefly countered, “He’s not that kind of kid. He’s not going to run off and elope with Dash in a Las Pegas ceremony.”

“…You’re never going to let me forget about that, are you?” Bluestreak muttered.

“What?” Dash perked up and stared at the two in confusion.

“Never mind, eat your split-pea.” Firefly picked up her spoon, dipped it into her soup. The bent out of shape and utterly useless spoon failed to hold anything, leaving the mare baffled, “What the hell happened to this?”

“You smashed it,” her husband informed her between spoonfuls of soup, “Every time you smacked the table, you hit the spoon.”

“...Whatever.” Firefly left the table, muttering to herself. Bluestreak turned his attention back to his daughter.

“Is it going to be a big wedding or a small one?”

“…I dunno, we haven’t really talked about it. Why?”

“Well, I’d want to invite all the aunties, especially-”

“I’ll ask,” Dash cut him off, “Now can I just eat?”

“…Who’s going to be the ring bearer and flower fillies?” He ignored her question, “I’m assuming he’s going to find the ring bearer, so that means we have to find the fillies.”

“I’ll figure it out later.” Dash grunted.

“You said Princess Cadance’s wedding had three, right? I think you’d be OK with two.”

“Dad, I’ll talk with Turner about it when I get back.” Dash impatiently grunted.

“You cousin’s twins might be old enough.”

“I’ll ask Slipstream later, can I just eat?” Dash motioned to the bowl in front of her, “You said we were gonna have lunch, but all I hear is blah blah blah.”

“Streak, stop bugging the kid about the wedding.” Firefly muttered as she returned with a new spoon, “When is it going to be, anyway?”

“We’re hoping to do it in like, six months.”

“That soon?” Bluestreak responded, startled, “I better start sending out invitations.”

“Dad, go talk to Fortuna tomorrow, you guys can figure it out,” Dash muttered as she began to eat.

---

Rainbow Dash streaked through the cloudless skies, away from Cloudsdale and her parent’s home.

“Well that went well,” Dash muttered to herself, “Where did Slipstream even move to anyway?”

She smiled as she zipped through the clouds and soared above a familiar looking orchard. She smiled as she looked down and waved to a pair of ponies working to harvest the crop. The larger of the two, a big red one, waved back. After a moment of hesitation, the other pony took off into the air. Dash slowed down, allowing Cloudchaser to catch up.

“Hey Chaser,” Dash decelerated to allow the two to talk, “What’s up?”

“Heard it through the grapevine that Turner finally proposed,” Cloudchaser grinned.

“What makes you think that happened?”

“You left town without telling anypony, Turner left shortly after, Ditzy hasn’t said anything,” Cloudchaser counted off, “Oh, and you’ve got an engagement necklace on.”

“…Yeah,” Dash admitted.

“Fuckin’ awesome,” Cloudchaser’s grin widened, “I thought Mac or Lane would do it first, not Turner.”

“Yeah, I already asked the others, but tell Flit to meet the rest of us as Sugarcube Corner. I wanna tell everyone all at once.”

“Ditzy’s out of town.”

“…Well, I’ll talk to her later. And don’t tell Flit just yet,” Dash continued, “I want to do it myself.”

“Eeyup.”

Dash paused and stared at Cloudchaser in disbelief, “You’re doing it too now?”

“Eeyup,” Cloudchaser flashed a cocky grin and saluted, “I’ll let her know. Bye.”

Before Dash could continue, Cloudchaser shot off, blowing a small cloud into Dash’s face. The mare let the cloud float in her face for a moment before blowing it away.

“…If she’s figured it out, I wonder if anypony else has…” Dash absentmindedly traced the ring with her hoof. After a moment, she took off the necklace and slid it into her saddle bag, “Better keep it hidden.”

---

Twilight glanced up at the clock for the fifth time in half an hour: Six fifty-seven.

“She’s late,” the princess grumbled.

“She’s always late,” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Any of you know why we’re even here?” Applejack cut off Twilight’s response, “Fluttershy, she didn’t say anythin’ to ya did she?”

“Oh. No. No, she didn’t say anything,” Fluttershy responded, “I didn’t even know she left until she sent the message.”

“…What ‘bout you, Pinkie?” the farmgirl turned her attention towards the pink pony.

“Nope!” Pinkie beamed, “But I’m sure whatever it is, it’s going to be some super special awesome.”

“…How’d ya come t’ that conclusion?”

“Don’t say it was your Pinkie Sense,” Twilight cut off Pinkie’s response.

“It was.”

“I know why,” Cloudchaser grinned, “And I ain’t tellin’.”

Flitter and Twilight smacked their foreheads with a hoof, while Applejack rolled her eyes at the Pegasus’ comment.

“Really? You’re just gonna taunt all everypony with that?”

“Yep,” Cloudchaser’s grin grew larger, taunting the others, “I told her I wouldn’t tell y’all the surprise. Didn’t say I couldn’t taunt you with it.”

“…I swear, you’re gonna be a terrible influence on Mac an’ Bloom.”

“I’m already a bad influence on them.”

“Stop antagonizing Applejack, CC,” Flitter muttered, nudging her sister.

“Can’t help it, it’s what sister-in-laws do, right?”

“You ain’t married t’ him yet,” Applejack grumbled.

“Must you argue like that?” Rarity rolled her eyes.

“Well if-”

Applejack’s response was interrupted as the door swung open. The entire group glanced over to the doorway out of reflex: Rainbow Dash sheepishly smiled back at them.

“Sorry I’m late. Had to clean up Tank’s mess and then I took a nap.”

“…You took a nap for three hours?” Applejack grumbled.

“It was a light nap,” Dash shrugged as she took a seat.

“So what’s the big announcement you wanted to tell everypony?” Twilight continued.

“…Well…” Dash trailed off as she reached into her saddlebags. She quickly yanked out the chain and slid it back around her neck, holding up the ring at the end.
“I’m getting married.”

The other ponies stared at her for a moment, taking in the information.

“WHAT?” Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie and Flitter all yelled in sync. Fluttershy winced at the noise, while Cloudchaser broke out in a cocky, knowing grin. Rarity smiled, while Dash frowned.

“…Why aren’t you surprised?” Dash asked.

“Who do you think he asked for advice?” Rarity chuckled.

“…Are you telling me that…”

“Y’ sure you’re ready for that, RD?” Applejack interrupted, “I mean…Well…”

“Yeah I’m sure.”

“I mean getting’ married ain’t exactly all sugar an’ gumdrops, right? Y’gotta…”

“Applejack, I’m sure if Turner’s proposed to her then, he thinks they’re both ready for the next step. And if she agreed, I’m sure she thinks they’re ready as well,” Rarity interrupted, “Do your parents know?”

“Yeah, I just told them.”

“How’d that go?” Fluttershy asked, cutting Pinkie off.

“Eh, Dad was fine with it,” Dash shrugged, “Mom got mad, but that was more because Turner didn’t ask her. She’s still fine with it.’

“What about Turner’s folks?” Cloudchaser asked.

“He’s talking to them. Although he wouldn’t have proposed without making sure they’re ok with it.”

Twilight cleared her throat, “Well I think…”

“This is super special awesome!” Pinkie beamed excitedly, smacking Applejack and Twilight as she jumped up, “Do you know who’s going to plan the wedding? What about all the bridesmaids and flower fillies, ring bearers…”

“Pinkie,” Twilight interrupted, “I’m sure they’ll work that out later.”
The Princess of Friendship turned her attention back to Rainbow Dash, “Rainbow Dash, getting married is a very big commitment and change. Are you and Time Turner certain you’re ready for this?”

“…Twi, I know you’re kinda anal about these kinds of things, but this is our decision. Turner isn’t the kind of guy to rush into things head first with no thought, that’s my job.” Dash chuckled lightly, “If he thinks we’re ready, then I trust his judgment.”

“Well…I can’t say that I agree with that, but…” Twilight trailed off, “But what I think is irrelevant to this. This is your decision and your life, not mine.”

“Thanks?” Dash responded, uncertain.

“Have you put any thought into when the wedding will be and who’s going to be part of it?”

“We’re looking at doing it in about six months,”

“Kinda fast, isn’t it?” Applejack frowned.

“We talked about it, and we both agree we wanted to keep it smallish. Mostly close family and friends.”

“…so I take it we’re all invited?” Flitter asked.

“Yeah, about that…Well, I wanted Twilight to officiate the whole thing,” she paused as she looked at her friend, “I mean, you’re a princess now, you can do that, right?”

“Well…I might need to talk to the mayor about it, but theoretically I do,” Twilight paused, “Although I might have to read up and take a test.”

“Great. I was gonna ask the Cakes to do the cake. And then that’s where the rest of you come in.”

“You don’t have to make me a bridesmaid,” Rarity responded, “Just let me make the dresses.”

“…I was gonna ask Pinkie, AJ, CC, Flit and Ditzy to be the bridesmaids. I mean, five isn’t too much, is it?” She paused, “I mean, assuming you all agree.”

“Of course.” Applejack responded. Flitter and Cloudchaser nodded in agreement.

“Anything for your wedding, Dashie!” Pinkie beamed.

“…You’ll still have to ask Ditzy when she gets back,” Rarity pointed out, “And you-”

“I didn’t forget,” Dash cut her off. She turned towards Fluttershy, “Fluttershy, we’ve been friends for years now. I want you to be the maid of honor.”

Fluttershy paused, completely silent. She opened her mouth to speak, only to turn bright red and start stammering.

“You don’t have to say anything, just nod if you wanna do it,” Dash informed her.

Fluttershy managed a strangled noise that vaguely sounded like an agreement before furiously nodding her head up and down, barely holding back her tears.

“What about Scootaloo?” Applejack continued on.

“…Dunno. She’s too old to be a flower filly, but too young to be a bridesmaid.”

“They do have junior bridesmaids, Rainbow Dash.” Rarity continued, “You could ask her to be that.”

“…Good point.”

“Who’s going to be the flower fillies and ring bearer then?” Flitter asked.

“Dad wants me to ask my cousin’s kids. They’re like, eight. Probably gonna go with them,” Dash shrugged, “Turner’s family suppose to bring in the ring bearer.”

“…Where’s this going to be anyway?” Twilight continued.

“Probably here. Still need to talk with the mayor.”

“You’re goin’ around telling everypony you’re getting married and you haven’t even asked if you can have it here?” Applejack shook her head.

“What, six months is plenty of time to figure it out,” Dash paused, “Right?”

“Darling, you’re going to find that six months passes by very quickly,” Rarity mused.

In Style!

Time Turner and Dash waited at the train station. Both ponies looked exhausted with bags under their eyes, and slightly frazzled manes. Turner’s bowtie sat lopsided, while Dash yawned.

“I take everything I said back, this is a lot harder than it looks,” Dash grumbled, “Worst Six months of my life.”

“Well…It would be easier if you didn’t accidently tell my parents you put Pinkie in charge of the party,” Turner grumbled, “My father doesn’t particularly like her, and my mother isn’t too fond of her either.”

“It’s the whole Gala thing wasn’t it? That was six years ago.”

“Generally, ponies tend to remember getting cake all over their Venus dress. She’s notoriously hard to get a hold of and the dress was an anniversary present from my father.”

“…I guess that makes sense,” Dash shrugged as the train pulled into the station.

“Why did I have to come anyway?”

“She wants to meet you before the wedding,”

As soon as the train’s doors opened a crack, two blurs shot out. The blurs whizzed around several ponies in the crowd before smashing into Rainbow Dash, knocking her back. Turner whirled around to see two fillies snuggling Dash. Both of the fillies were pegasi: one of them had a sea green coat, as well as a grey mane, the other had a red coat and black mane with a single golden streak. The two tightened their grip on Dash.

“Hi Aunty!” the two beamed in unison as they continued to squeeze her.

“Hey kids,” Dash winced, “Good to see you both.”

“Moonracer! Windblade!” a mare’s voice barked out. An older pegasus mare with a purple coat and turquoise and black mane landed next to Turner.
“Get off your aunt.”

“We missed her though,” the green filly responded, squeezing Dash tighter.

“That’s no reason to make a ruckus,” the mare scolded, “Now off.”

“Awwwww….” The two released Dash, and sulked over to the other mare. Dash got back onto her hooves, and trotted over to the other mare.

“Dashie.”

“Slipstream.”

After a moment the two mares embraced each other.

“Sandstorm couldn’t make it?” Dash asked.

“Unfortunately no. He’s off in Yakistan,” Slipstream broke the hug off and turned towards Time Turner. Without saying a word, she began to circle the stallion, looking over him.

“…Um…Hello?” A befuddled Turner trailed off as Slipstream stopped in front of him.

“So you’re the stallion Dashie fell in love with,” Slipstream paused before turning her head to look at Dash, “Bit scrawny, but he’s not bad.”

“…Thank you?” Turner frowned.

“I’m messin’ with you,” Slipstream grinned, “Anyway, these two are gonna be the ones throwing flowers at everyone at the wedding.” Slipstream patted her daughters on the back, “Kids, introduce yourselves to him.”

“I’m Moonracer!” the green filly beamed at him.

“Windblade,” the other filly looked back at Rainbow Dash, “Can I meet Scootaloo? I heard that she’s a really awesome flier.”

“Well…you’re gonna meet her sooner or later,” Dash half-heartedly shrugged, “She’s gonna be my junior bridesmaid,”

“…So that’s seven now?” Turner muttered, “Isn’t that a bit much?”

“It’s everyone that’s important to me,” Dash countered.

“Seven’s fine. I had like, what, ten at my wedding?” Slipstream interrupted, “Anyway, why don’t you let Turner show us around town? Maybe we’ll run into Scootaloo.”

“…Seriously?” Dash frowned, “You came all the way here to…”

“We’ll have time to talk later,” Slipstream interrupted her, “Anyway, you said you let Cloudchaser plan your bachelorette party right?”

“…Yeah?”

“Gotta talk to her later,” a devilish grin lit up her face, “I have plans.”

“…Yeah, that’s not helping your case.”

Slipstream’s response was cut off as Moonracer tugged on her mother’s tail, “What is it sweetie?”

“Are we gonna see Princess Twilight’s castle?”

“Later sweetie, Right now let’s just get settled in.”

“It’s alright Dash, I’ll do it.” Turner shrugged, “Besides, I think she wants to have a word with me over things.”

“…Fine. Gonna go check on the others then.”

With that Dash shot up, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. Slipstream beamed at Time Turner.

“So then Mr. Turner, shall you guide us to the hotel?”

“Right this way.”

The four started into town. Turner watched as Slipstream vainly tried to keep her daughters from zipping around, observing the various going-ons in the town. Finally the mare gave up, rolling her eyes.

“Alright if the two of you are going to misbehave we’re not going to Sugarcube Corner,” Slipstream barked. She flashed a grin as Turner, “Kids. You’ll know what it’s like once you two have the flying hellions.”

“She doesn’t want kids,”

“Neither did I at first,” Slipstream frowned as Windblade fluttered back to her mother’s side with an armful of apples, “Put them back.”

“She said I could hav’m.”

“Well I’m saying you can’t. Put them back.”

“Applejack is one of Dash’s friends, she won’t mind.” Turner responded.

“Well I do. You can buy two apples, one for you and your sister. Take the rest of them back.”

“…Fine.”

The dejected filly sulked back towards the apple cart as Slipstream glanced around.

“Where’s Moonracer?”

“Here!”

The other filly returned carrying a bunch of carrots, happily munching away at one of them.

“…Put them back.”

“I bought’m.”

“…Share them with your sister.”

“…Do I gotta? She doesn’t even like carrots,” Moonracer sulked.

“Sisters are supposed to share.”

“…Fine.” Moondancer sulked off, leaving the two alone.

“Dad didn’t have any kids after I was born, so Dash is the closest thing I have to a sister,” Slipstream trailed off, “She’s closer to Shy now, but that doesn’t change how I see us.”

“…Is this going to be one of those ‘take care of her or you’ll regret it’ speeches? Firefly already gave me one.” Time Turner grumbled.

“It’s not. She’s not stupid,” Slipstream paused, “She’s bull-headed, cocky, dense, selfish, and doesn’t always think things through, but she’s not stupid. I guess what I’m saying is…Well, I guess I am saying take care of her.”

“She’s mellowed out a lot. Joining the Wonderbolt reserves does that.”

“So does getting a coltfriend,” Slipstream chuckles, “I used to be scrappy. That’s how I met Sandstorm. Bar brawl. He was the one trying to keep me from bleeding out after I punched out a buffalo.”

“…I’m hoping I’ll never see her that drunk,” Time Turner muttered.

“She mentioned you guys sing Thunderball songs when you get hammered,” Slipstream chuckled, “Wanna see who does the better rendition of “Give a Little Love”.”

“If you ask Berry, it’s me.”

“Pfft.” Slipstream glanced over at Windblade and Moonracer, only to find the two fillies struggling to push an enormous pumpkin.
“Put it back.”

“We won it,” Windblade flittered upwards and sat on the pumpkin, while Moonracer continued to struggle with it.

“…Who gives out pumpkins for prizes?”

“Mammoth Gold likes to hold a raffle every now and then. Gives the biggest ones to the winner.”

“Well, what the heck are we gonna do with a pumpkin?”

“You could take it to Sugarcube Corner. The Cakes are still abit busy, but they should be able to do something with it.” Turner paused, “Or Pinkie might.”

Slipstream paused, watching her daughters struggle with the giant gourd, “Good idea. Kids, we’re going to the bakery.”

“Tell Windy to get off the pumpkin and help me push.”

“I won it, You have to push it.” Windblade argued.

“Give me that,” Slipstream wrapped her forehooves around the Pumpkin and lifted off the ground. She glanced over at Time Turner, “Which way?”

“This way.”

---

Dash paused at the door, turning to look back. Scootaloo and an older mare smiled back.

“Anyway, like I said, Thanks for letting her do this, Dizzy.”

“It’s not a problem,” the older mare, Dizzy, responded, “…Who did you say you put in charge of the bachelorette party?”

“Cloudchaser,” Dash paused, “Although my cousin might pitch in.”

“…As long as it’s not illegal.”

“I don’t think it is. Anyway, I gotta check with Rarity about my dress.”

Dash closed the door, leaving the mother and daughter silent.

“…So if it’s illegal, do I have to come home?” Scootaloo asked.

“…If it involves alcohol, you do,” her mother responded, “But I’m sure it won’t come to that.”

---

Dash stood in front of the Carousel Boutique, staring at the “closed” sign in confusion.

“She told me Four…and I’m…” She paused to glance at the clock tower, “Only half an hour late.”

She pressed a hoof against the door and pushed, only for it to give under the pressure and creak slightly open.

“…Weird.”

Dash pushed the door completely open, setting off the bell. Still, no one reacted to the noise. Dash paused again, and deliberately kicked the door shuts, slamming it into the frame.

“One moment please,” Rarity called out from another room. “Terribly sorry, but it appears I have a customer,” she apologized to someone unseen before entering the main area of her shop.
“Ah, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity glanced at the clock on her wall, “Late as usual I see.”

“Why’s the sign say closed?”

“I, ah…had an unexpected gu-”

“Rarity?” A much older mare’s voice with a trace of an accent called out, “Is something the matter?”

“No, no. It’s…one of my clientele,”

“Well invite her here. I would love to see what they have to say.”

“I’m…” Rarity glanced back at Dash, “Not entirely sure that would be a good idea, she’s not one of my usual clients…”

“So it’s someone who specifically selected you? Even better.”

“…Alright,” Rarity glared at Dash, “Don’t screw this up, this is a major break for my career.”

“You got it, Rares.”

The two friends entered the next room. An elderly earth mare sat at the table, glasses perched on her muzzle, cup to coffee in her hooves. The mare’s blue coat was faded with age, her mane a mix of fading and graying tones of green, yellow, pink and orange and her tail and equally fading mix of pink, blue and purple. Her cutie mark was a simple rainbow between two clouds. The older mare finished a sip and looked over Dash as she entered.

“Well now… who is this?” the older mare smiled.

“Ah, this I-”

“Aunty, you know who I am,” Dash snorted.

Rarity froze midsentence as the other mare shook her head.

“Rainbow, darling, you’ve ruined my fun,” the older mare sighed in displeasure.

“I thought you were coming tomorrow,” Dash continued on, ignoring her statement.

“Well, my appointment that was suppose to be today was canceled, so I booked an earlier trip. Besides darling, Slipstream and her daughters were supposed to come in today weren’t they? I was certain that you would be busier with them. You know how Windblade and Moonracer can be in a new place. Where are they anyway?”

“Turner’s giving them a tour around the town,” Dash grumbled as she took a seat at the table and poured out a cup of coffee.

“…I still need to meet the young man,” she sighed, “Fill my cup up as well.”
The elder mare looked over at Rarity, still frozen in place by shock.
“Darling? Close your mouth, you look most uncouth.”

Rarity’s jaw snapped shut. The stunned mare quietly took her seat at the table. She shot up abruptly, knocking over her chair and slammed her hooves on the table.

“AUNT?” the fashionista screamed, “Venus, the most defining mare in the entire fashion industry is your Aunt?”

“…Well, she retired before I was born.,” Dash muttered.

“Not retired. Just not as active,” her aunt, Venus, corrected, “I retired after your first birthday.”

“And you never thought of telling me this before?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal,” Dash shrugged, “She’s just Great-Aunt Rainy to me.”

“…Rainy?”

“Oh that,” Venus laughed, “I needed to have a suitable alias for my time in the industry.”

“Alias?” Rarity’s voice cracked.

“Of course, darling. My catch phrase would have never worked otherwise,” Venus chuckled as she set her cup down.
“ Do you have any idea how ridiculous I would have seemed if it was ‘Rainbow Dash always dresses in style’?”

Show It, Show It

The door to Turner’s house slammed open as the exhausted coupled dragged themselves into the room. Turner slid onto the sofa while Dash continued into the kitchen.

“I didn’t realize we actually had to practice this,” he grumbled, “I would have just taken the paperwork from the mayor’s office and we’d be married.”

“If we did that your mom would kill us,” Dash grumbled as she downed a cup of coffee, “My dad might kill us too.”

“He’s too nice to do that.”

“…Not if we screw this up.” Dash countered

“…Good point.” Turner glanced at the clock, “What time is your thing?”

“Four.”

“Shouldn’t you get going?”

“I want to shower first,” Dash grumbled as she walked off.

“…Don’t take too long, I want to shower too.” Turner called out after her.

“Gotcha.”

Turner’s head fell back onto the sofa cushion as the shower turned on. He laid there, eyes closed, listening to the sound of the water pounding against the floor. Moments later, Turner drifted off to sleep.

Dash turned off the water and yanked a towel off the wall to dry herself. The mare left the shower, the damp towel still around her neck. She paused in the living room, watching the sleeping Time Turner. She smiled and tossed the towel onto Turner’s face, startling him back into consciousness.

“Gurwah?”

“Shower’s open. See you tomorrow.”

Dash left the house and quickly took to the skies.

---

Turner pushed open the Apple’s barn door and looked inside: Big Macintosh, Thunderlane, and Caramel sat around a table in the middle of the barn, focused on their card game. Another table sat to the side, loaded with food and drinks. Thunderlane looked up from the game and smiled.

“Turner’s here, guys.”

“Take a seat, bachelor,” Caramel motioned for him to join them, “We haven’t actually started, still waiting on Joe and Soarin.”

Turner sat at the table and was quickly dealt two cards.

“Game’s blackjack. Chips are all treated like one bit. Each round has a one bit entry,” Big Macintosh listed off.

“Alright.”

“We have non-alcoholic cider, apple juice, an’ water, of course,” Big Mac chuckled, “Don’t want everypony t’ be hungover t’morrow.”

“Had that happen to a cousin of mine once,” Caramel shook his head, “Can’t say it was a very good wedding.”

“ Was that th’ same one you got sick?”

“Yep,” Caramel’s face scrunched up at the memory, “Shouldn’t have eaten the dandelions.”

“How do you screw up dandelions?” Thunderlane shook his head, “Everypony ready?”

“Eeyup.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I think so.”

“Right then…” Thunderlane pushed five bits into the middle of the table.

“….” Caramel, “I fold.”

“Match it.” Big Macintosh tossed five bits.

“….Match it.” Turner slid his own bits into the pile, “and… Show.”

“Seventeen,” Thunderlane flipped over an Ace and six.

“Nineteen.” Big Macintosh revealed a nine and Jack.

“Twenty-one,” Turner flipped over a Queen and an Ace. Thunderlane rolled his eyes and Caramel silently collected the cards.

“I had ten, but with the way my luck’s been, I would have gone over.”

“You sound like Clyde,” Big Mac snorted, “Drives Fritter crazy,”

“Speaking of that, isn’t your cousin getting married soon?” Turner continued, “Ditzy mentioned Carrot Top was engaged.”

“…News t’me,” Big Mac shrugged, “ ‘Course I haven’t heard anythin’ from him for a while now.”

Turner’s response was cut off as the door opened. Soarin and Joe entered, Soarin carrying a bag with him, while Joe dragged a cart covered with a cloth. The Wonderbolt flashed a smile at the others.

“Sorry we’re late, I picked up some booze.” Soarin held up the bag.

“And I had to pack up all the leftover pumpkin baked goods,” Joe grumbled, “Why’d you have them bring it to us?”

“They wanted to see where all of Dash’s friends work,” Turner countered, “And since they won it, I figured that it would make the most sense.”

“This is half of it,” Joe continued on, “I don’t know what we’re going to do with the rest of it. Pinkie wanted to bring it to tomorrow, but we said no.”

“I thought we agreed no booze,” Big Mac frowned.

“A few drinks aren’t gonna hurt,” Soarin set the bag down and pulled out a bottle of beer, “If he drinks a lot and late, yeah, but if he drinks now and doesn’t drink after…” Soarin glanced around, “…There’s no clock in here, is there?”

“It’s a barn.”

”I’d say about seven then,” Soarin continued on as he trotted over to the card table. The pegasus slid next to Turner and placed the beer in front of him.
“So drink up, it’ll be the last time you drink as a bachelor.”

Turner twisted the cap off the bottle and took a swing. Joe took his seat at the table as Caramel dealt.

“Game’s Appleloosa Hold’m. Everypony puts in two hundred bits, winner takes all.”

“…Did Turner decide all of that or did you?” Joe frowned, “Shouldn’t we be letting him choose the game?”

“No, no, it’s fine.”

“…alright then,” Caramel pushed piles of red, white and blue poker chips towards Joe, “You mind sorting these out? White’s worth one bit, red’s worth five and blue’s worth ten.”

“…” Joe glanced around at the others, “…Am I really the only unicorn here?”

“Eeyup. Real pain t’ sort’m if we don’t have one,” Big Macintosh stood up, “Gonna get a piece’a pie.”

“There’s three types, one’s the Cake’s recipe, one’s my mothers and the last one’s Granny Pie’s.”

The farmer returned with three pieces of pie on his plate.
“Couldn’t decide which one.”

“Let’s get started, there’s going to be plenty of time for food,” Soarin grinned as he opened a bottle of beer.

Turner glanced at his cards: the Ace of Spades and ten of spades. Caramel slid the first three cards off the deck and flipped the next three: the King of Spades, Queen of spades and Jack of Hearts.

Big Mac pushed several white chips into the middle, “Seven.”

“Match it,” Thunderlane pushed his chips in. Soarin, Joe and Caramel copied, silently.

“…Yeah, why not.” Turner pushed his own chips into the pile.

Caramel flipped over the next card, revealing the Jack of Spades.

“…I fold,” Joe shook his head.

“…Somepony’s gonna have a good one,” Soarin grinned as he pushed fifteen bits worth of chips into the pile.

“…match it,” Thunderlane pushed his own bits into the pile.

“…Fold,” Caramel sighed.

“Match it.” Big Macintosh pushed his bits into the pile.

“…Raise it to twenty?” Turner pushed two blue chips into the pile.

Soarin, Thunderlane and Big Macintosh glanced at the others before putting another five chips in.

“Last card.”

Caramel flipped another card off the top of the deck, revealing the two of diamonds.
“And…show.”

Thunderlane flipped his cards, revealing a two and a queen, “Two pairs.”

“You thought that would be enough?” Big Mac shook his head, revealing a pair of Kings, “Three o’a kind.”

Soarin grinned as he revealed his hand, “Jack and a two. Full house.”

“….” Turner revealed his hand, “Royal straight flush.”

Thunderlane and Big Macintosh groaned as Soarin laughed.

“This doesn’t bode well for the rest of us,” Soarin chuckled.

“…Where did Dash go for her thing, anyway?” Big Mac ignored the Wonderbolt.

“I don’t know. She said Cloudchaser and her cousin planned it.”

“…You said her name was Slipstream, right?” Soarin frowned.

“Uh-huh.” Turner nodded.

“Purple coat? Cutie Mark looks like a pair of lighting bolts?”

“Yep.”

“…She’s quite a hooffull. When we were younger she got into a fight with a gang of griffons. She won.”

“…And?”

“Well, all I can say is that whatever she planned, it’s going to be something fun.” Soarin chuckled, “We dated back in high school, but it never worked out.”

“…You’re not making me feel better.”

---

The carriage continued along as Dash glanced out the window.

“So where’s this place again?” She turned towards Slipstream.

“Little place out of the way,” she shrugged, “You’ll like it.”

Dash glanced at the other ponies gathered in the carriage: Pinkie, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Ditzy, Flitter, Cloudchaser and Scootaloo.

“…This isn’t anything we’re gonna get arrested over, is it?”

“What? No. There’s no alcohol involved.” Slipstream shook her head, “How come the Princess couldn’t make it?”

“She’s freaking out over doing the wedding. So she’s sleeping.”

“Doesn’t she have her little dragon henchman to help her?”

“He’s in Neigh Orleans with his marefriend.”

Slipstream blinked, “His what?”

“He’s dating Trixie.” Rarity added, “It’s rather adorable.”

“The magician?” Slipstream glanced at Dash, who nodded in confirmation, “The kids loved her when she came to perform.”

“Speaking of those two…”

“I left them with Aunty Rainy,” Slipstream snorted, “She loves all her grandnieces.”

The carriage came to a stop. Slipstream poked her head out of the carriage and exchanged a few words with the driver.

“We’re here.”

The door opened allowing the ponies to quickly pile out. The group stared at the dingy looking building, with its peeling paintjob and tacky neon sign. Slipstream handed the driver a small bag full of bits.

“Remember, back in five hours.”

“Got it, lady.” The lead stallion nodded before looking back at the rest of his team, “Let’s go, boys.”

The carriage left as Slipstream joined the rest of the group.

“Oh, before I forget…Scootaloo, take this.”

The mare handed off a fake ID to the filly.

“You’re 18 for tonight.”

“I thought we weren’t going to do anything illegal,” Dash countered, “I’m supposed to be responsible here, I told her mother it was fine.”

“It is fine,” Slipstream waved a hoof, “I know the guy who owns the place. That’s just back-up in case something goes wrong.”

“…What even is this place?” Cloudchaser interrupted Dash’s counter.

“Red Foo’s,” Slipstream shrugged as she trotted over to the door.

“Bride-to-be first,” the mare grinned as she pulled open the door. The sound of heavy bass music and techno assaulted their ears as Dash entered. She frowned as she looked around the room: a well-stocked bar, multiple small stages each with a single vertical bar in the middle of it, and groups of small tables and chairs near each stage. The scant customers in the room sat around one of the stages, where an earth stallion, clad in a pair of thongs entertained them. Dash whirled around to face the others: Rarity rolled her eyes, as Applejack shook her head as she pulled her hat over her eyes. Flitter blushed while Fluttershy and Scootaloo turned a bright shade of crimson. Pinkie beamed at the scene before her, while Cloudchaser and Slipstream exchanged devilish grins.

“You took me to a strip club?”

---

Turner stared at the face up cards on the table: the Jack of Diamonds, Jack of Hearts, two of Spades and Seven of spades. He glanced at his own hand: the Seven of Hearts and Ten of clubs.

“Match the bet,” Turner pushed a small pile of red chips into them middle of the table. Soarin, Caramel and Joe frowned. Thunderlane and Big Macintosh sat at another table, moping around slices of pumpkin pies and donuts.

“…Well then, here’s the last card.”

Caramel flipped the top card of the deck, revealing the Seven of diamonds. The earth pony sighed and flipped over his hand: the two of clubs and queen of hearts.
“Was really hopping for another two.”

Joe, tossed his hand aside, revealing a King and Queen, “Nothing. Hoped I would have been able to bluff my way out,”

“Just the two pairs out there,” Soarin shrugged.

“…I feel like I just wasted my luck on this one,” Turner grumbled as he flipped his cards over. Joe shook his head and stood up as Turner pulled his winnings towards him.

“Well, I’m out. Is there any beer left?”

“Eeyup.”

Joe trotted away from the table, leaving the last three gamblers there. Caramel sighed as he looked as the scant remains of his chips.

“You aren’t letting me win, are you?” Turner asked while Soarin shuffled.

“What?” Soarin frowned, “No.”

“I don’t gamble that often,” Caramel added.

“I always lose the Apple Family Poker Tournament,” Big Macintosh called out.

Soarin dealt out new hands for the remaining players. Turner peaked at his; the Three of clubs and Four of Spades.

“Wouldn’t be any fun if we just let you win,” Soarin continued as he peaked at his own hand, “Buy in is two bits.” The Wonderbolt added as he pushed two chips into the middle of the table.

“Well, it’s not going to hurt at this point,” Caramel sighed as he pushed his chips in. Turner quickly followed suit.

“and here we go…” Soarin discarded the top three cards of the deck and flipped the next three: the Two of Hearts, Jack of spades and Six of diamonds.

“….Raise by one.” Turner pushed a single chip into the pile. Caramel silently followed suit as Soarin’s smile grew.

“What, now you got a bad hand?” Soarin chuckled, “Must finally mean your luck’s run out.”

“He’s playing it safe,” Caramel countered, “It’s how he won all our chips before.”

“We’ll see.” Soarin tossed a chip into the pile and flipped over the next card: the Five of Hearts.

“…I fold,” Caramel put down his hand.

“…Raise it by five.” Turner pushed his chip into the middle. Soarin paused, studying Turner’s face.

“…Hell, I fold.” Soarin shook his head, “I can’t get a good read on you.”

“…Well, it was a straight,” Turner flipped over his cards and pushed them towards Caramel. As the stallion shuffled the cards Turner sighed.
“You know, I was really worried you guys were going to hire a stripper or something.”

“Oh, I wanted to,” Soarin chuckled, “But they convinced me it would have been a bad idea.”

“Yeah, it’s not really my thing.”

Red Foo’s

Dash slumped into a barstool. The bartender, a purple unicorn mare trotted over and smiled.

“Gimme a Hot Brandy Flip.”

“You’re part of the bridal group, right?” the bartender jerked her head to the left.

Dash glanced back at the rest of the bridal party: Slipstream, Pinkie, Scootaloo and Cloudchaser cheered as the stallion continued to perform in front of them. Flitter, Ditzy and Rarity continued to chat with several of the other performers. Applejack and Fluttershy sat at another table: Applejack ignoring the performers and catcalls while Fluttershy tried to make herself unnoticeable.

“Yeah.”

“Well, We’re not supposed to give you alcohol, and a flip without booze is just…sweet egg soup.”

“Well, I want something with alcohol,” Dash grumbled.

“…Give me a moment. You ever had a Hangmare’s blood?”

“No.”

“Then you’ll love it,” the bartender smiled, as her aura flared up. A pint glass settled onto the bar in front of Dash as various bottles of liquor began to float around the two.

“So…” the bartender continued on as she poured the alcohol into the glass, “Who’s the lucky one getting married?”

“Me.”

“Oh, really? Congratulations,” the mare beamed as she glanced at one of the bottles, “Hm. I thought this one had more gin in it.”

“I’m not really big on gin,” Dash muttered.

“Oh, don’t worry, it’s fine.” The mare poured liquid from another bottle of gin into the pint glass, “I’m not too fond of rum, but I like it in this one.” The bartender paused as she pulled out a small bottle of stout and poured it into the drink.
“First time at Red Foo’s?”

“Yeah.”

“Not what you were expecting, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Dash sighed, “When you’re a teen it’s exciting and stuff, but now...It’s boring.”

“We get that time from time,” the bartender shrugged, “Your little orange friend really likes it, first time for her?”

“Yeah,” Dash watched as the bartender finished the drink by pouring champagne into it, “That’s kind of a lot of alcohol. I’m saying that and I go drinking twice a week.”

“It’s a wonderful cocktail, trust me. Umbrella?” the bartender smiled.

“Nah, umbrellas are for mother-in-laws.” Dash picked up the drink and took a deep swing. After a moment, she placed the glass back onto the table and paused, savoring the taste.

“It’s good.” Dash agreed.

“It should be, family recipe.” The bartender grinned, “Grandad taught it to me after I got my cutie mark. Anyway, since this is your bachelorette party, you should enjoy it.”

“I can’t.”

“You’re fiancé is probably doing the same thing.”

Dash down another gulp before glaring at the other mare, “He’s not that kind of guy.”

“Well,”

“No, I mean he really isn’t. See my yellow friend over there?”

The bartender glanced over, “Yeah, she keeps ordering virgin Mimosas.”

“He’s kinda like that. Doesn’t like this sort of thing.”

“…Well, that’s got to be a boring bachelor party.”

…

“I don’t believe this,” Soarin shook his head in disgust, “He won all the money.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about buying us wedding gifts now,” Turner chuckled, “Not every night you make a thousand bits.”

…

“Nah, he’s probably having fun.” Dash took another swing of her drink, “They’re playing cards, he’s good.”

“…Well, it sounds like he’s a good guy,” the bartender shrugged, “I’m sure you’ll be happy together.”

“We wouldn’t be getting married if we weren’t.”

Dash drained the glass and slammed it back on the table, “Gimme a Flip.”

“…Well at this point it won’t hurt.” The bartender sighed as she summoned a metal mug, several bottles and an egg, “Still it’s not a good idea to drink too much.”

“Last one,” Dash grumbled, “I can only take so many virgin drinks.”

“I suppose. You like your egg extra smooth?”

“Yep.”

A whisk floated into the glass and began to spin, blending the ingredients together.
“You nervous?”

“What?”

“Are you nervous about getting married?” the bartender repeated.

“…Like you wouldn’t imagine.” Dash muttered, “I got my friend to officiate and she’s nervous about messing up.”

“Her first time?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…” the mare trailed off as she pulled out a small, solid metal iron and focused her magic aura on it. After a few moments the iron turned red hot and the mare quickly dunked it into the drink, stirring it around. She pulled out the iron, tossed it aside and pushed the drink to Dash.
“Well there’s a first time for everything. Here’s to you, kid.”

“Thanks,” Dash downed the drink, savoring the smooth texture, burnt flavor and blend of the alcohols and nutmeg. After she finished she slammed the mug onto the bartop.

“Best one I’ve had.”

“I should hope so, it’s my specialty.” The bartender chuckled as she tossed the cup into a sink

“…Thanks.”

“For what?”

“For listening,” Dash sighed, “It’s not like me to really talk to someone else about my problems.”

“It’s a bar, kid. I get that all the time.”

“What’s your name anyway?”

“Tonic,”

“You work at any bars?”

“Out in Canterlot. Little place called Gin House Blues.”

“Gotta bring my fiancé…well, I guess by then he’ll be my husband, there then,” Dash corrected herself, “He loves a good drink.”

“Really now?” Tonic smiled.

“It’s practically our hobby.”

It's a Love Story...

The chapel was filled with the murmurs of the assorted ponies gathered there. At the front of the church, Firefly, Clagan and Fortuna sat, bored out of their minds.

“This is ridiculous,” Firefly muttered as she turned to look around again. About two dozen faces stared back at her.

“You are the one who made it for the afternoon,” Clagan grumbled, “Should have made it for this mourning. There’s nothing wrong with a wedding Brunch.”

“I hate brunch,” Firefly muttered, “Brunch is filled with stuff that’s not breakfast, and it ain’t lunch.”

“Yes, that’s why it’s brunch.”

“Will the two of you stop it?” Fortuna interrupted, “They’ve made their choice.”

Firefly and Clagan huffed, but said nothing.

---

Rarity frowned and waited as Soarin patiently took the time to take photos and sign autographs for ponies.

“I thought you said you were going to avoid this,” Rarity grumbled.

“Let it go,” Soarin whispered back as he passed another signed wedding program, “Sorry folks,” He apologized to the rest of the crowd, “But I know I’m not the reason you all came here. Don’t want to rain on their parade,” He flashed an apologetic smile as the others groaned, “I’ll be at the after party.”

The ponies dispersed and returned to their seats. Soarin turned to face Rarity, “What?”

“‘Don’t worry.’ you said. ‘I’ll keep a low profile,’ you said.” Rarity muttered.

“Can I help it?” Soarin argued back, “I could have worn the mustache, but you said-”

“It was tacky.”

“It would have at least partially disguised me.”

“Forget it,” Rarity pouted.

“I’m not going to upstage the wedding. When Dash comes out in the dress you made her, all eyes are going to be on her.”

---

Twilight sighed, trying her best to calm herself.

“Alright Twilight, you’ve got this,” She muttered to herself, “You’ve rescued Equestria countless times. You’ve faced Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, Starlight Glimmer, Tirek and countless others…”

“Nervous, Twilight?”

Twilight jumped and spun around to find Princess Celestia and Luna standing there.

“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! What are you doing here?”

“…We were invited,” Luna paused, “Were we not?”

“We were, we received invitations from Clagan,” Celestia chuckled, “He’s quite proud.”

“But…” Twilight trailed off.

“If you are worried that we will upstage the wedding…” Celestia trailed off as she became engulfed by a brilliant blinding light. As Luna followed suit, Twilight shielded her eyes. The light abruptly vanished, just as quickly as it had started, allowing Twilight open her eyes again. Standing in front of her was a white pegasus with a flowing white mane and a cutie mark in the shape of a sun. Next to her stood a dark blue unicorn, with a straightened black mane in a bob cut, her cutie mark in the shape of a crescent moon.
“Who would care to bother Sunny Skies and her sister…” Celestia trailed off, “Luna, you never told me what your alias was.”

“I have elected to use Selene as an alias,” the unicorn paused, “Is it too on the face?”

“The phrase is ‘On the nose’, but I believe it will be fine,” Celestia turned her attention back to Twilight, “You will do fine, so relax.”

---

Moonracer, clad in her flower filly dresses, peeked through the door frame, peeking at the crowd.

“There’s Great-Aunty Rainey, there’s Aunty Firefly….that looks like Miss Pinkie…”

Windblade trotted back towards her twin with a huge grin on her face. She yanked out an autographed photo of Soarin and held it in Moonracer’s face.

“I got it!” Windblade beamed, “He signed it for me.”

“I’ll get it later,” Moonracer brushed her sister off.

“…If you get a chance. He’s with Miss Rarity, and if she’s anything like the stories Aunty Rainbow tells us…”

“What’s that?” A new voice interrupted. Windblade froze up as the speaker trotted into Moonracer’s view: a young pegasus colt with a brown coat and wispy white mane, dressed in a little tuxedo.

“Windy got an autograph from Soarin.”

“Cool, can I see it?” the colt trotted in next to Moonracer to look at the autograph. Windblade’s face flushed as the colt looked down at the autographed picture.

“That’s pretty cool.” He glanced up at Windblade’s frozen expression, “Is she ok?”

“Just a little stage fright, Tempest. She’ll be fine.” Moonracer responded, “…Where’s the rings?”

“I have it…” Tempest trailed off as he felt around his pockets, “…Uh-oh.”

The colt spun around and quickly ran back to the dressing rooms in panic. Windblade began breathing again as her face returned to normal.

“…You could just say you have a crush on him,” Moonracer grumbled, “Then you won’t do something stupid in front of mom and Aunty Dash.”

“I’m fine, I don’t have a crush on him.”

“Yeah, you do. You act like Mister Springer when he’s around Miss Mulled Cider.”

“That’s different,” Windblade countered.

“No, it’s not.”

“Girls, what are you doing?” Slipstream cut off Windblade’s response.

“I got an autograph from Soarin,” Windblade spun around to show the photo to her mother.

“Windy has a crush on Tempest Fugit.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.” Moonracer rolled her eyes.

“Do not.” Windblade shoved her face into Moonracer’s face.

“Do too.”

“Girls, if you’re going to keep arguing, I’m not letting you go to the reception after this. That means no hanging out with Great-aunt Rainy, Aunty Firefly, Aunty Dash...or Soarin.”

The two fillies paused mid-argument and quieted down.

“Good,” Slipstream sighed, “For now, give me the autograph, and go wait in the next room with Tempest.”

---

“How did we get roped into this?” Raindrops groaned as she rested her head on the reception table.

“Dash asked, you agreed,” Dizzy Twister responded, “I volunteered.”

“How many ponies are even coming to this?” Raindrops snapped up one of the programs and looked over it, “I mean, this makes it look like it’s going to be a short ceremony,”

“Weddings vary. My wedding was a very nice affair.”

“That’s because your parents are rich,” Raindrops grumbled.

“Excuse me…” another voice interrupted their bickering, the two turned their attention to the speaker: Gilda stood in front of the two, dressed for the occasion, “Is there a guest book or something I’m supposed to sign?”

“Right here,” Dizzy Twister pushed it towards the griffon, “Also, here’s your program.”

“Thanks.”

Raindrops watched at Gilda entered the chapel.

“Didn’t the two of them have a falling out?”

“They made up. They’re friends again,” Dizzy smiled, “Dash even asked her if she wanted to be one of the bridesmaids, but she said no.”

“...She never asked me.”

“All you two do is argue and fight.”

“That doesn’t mean we’re not friends.”

Another pony cut off Dizzy’s response.
“Pardon me, but this is where the wedding is right?” the grey maned pegasus asked.

“For Rainbow Dash and Time Turner, yes.” Dizzy smiled.

“Excellent,” the mare pushed her glasses up, “Just let me sign the guest book…”

“...I hate to say this, but you look an awful lot like-”

“Like Daring Do?” the mare shrugged, “I get that alot.”

Raindrops peeked at the guest book.
“...Wait, A.K. Yearling? The writer for all the Daring Do books?”

“Is that so?” Dizzy spun the book around, “...So it is.”

“How does Dash know her?”

“One of their adventures, probably.” Dizzy shrugged, “You know how those things go.”

Spitfire, Fleetfoot and other Wonderbolts trotted over to the reception table.

“Do we just sign in here, or?” Spitfire trailed off.

Raindrops stared at the group, slack jawed and wide-eyed. Dizzy reached over and closed her jaw.
“Sign here, S.F.”

“Dizzy? How did you get roped into this?” Spitfire asked as she signed.

“My daughter is the junior bridesmaid.”

“Seriously?” that’s pretty cute.”

“Have a good time in there.” Dizzy chuckled.

“Ugh, don’t get me started. I’m really not into this sort of thing,” Spitfire rolled her eyes, “But we were invited and Soarin’s already here.”

“...You know he’s with his marefriend, right?”

“Yeah, Chastity.”

“Rarity.”

“Close enough,” Spitfire shrugged as she and the others entered the chapel. Raindrops continued to stare at Dizzy in shock.

“...What?”

“How do you know Spitfire?”

“We were flight school partners,” Dizzy smiled.

“...This wedding is getting weirder and weirder.” Raindrops grumbled as she slumped back in her chair.

---

“....So do we have to keep waiting here or...or what?” Cloudchaser grumbled, “I’m getting bored.”

“It’s going to start soon, just wait for the music,” Flitter responded.

“...Rarity was makin’ RD’s dress right?” Applejack asked.

“Yep,” Ditzy nodded.

“So when’d she get time t’ make all o’ these dresses for the rest o’ us?”

“She’s use to it, I assume.” Ditzy shrugged.

Applejack’s response was cut off as music began to play.
“Alright, everyone ready?” Ditzy turned to the others, “...Where’s Scootaloo?”

“Bathroom.”

“...Well, the show must go on.”

The bridesmaids stepped through the curtains, and begun their walk down the the aisle. The group came to a stop at the head of the chapel, and moved to the left of the chapel. The curtains flipped open as Scootaloo, hurried down the aisle with an embarrassed smile on his face.

“Sorry,” Scootaloo whispered to Ditzy.

“It’s fine.”

Thunderlane and Caramel followed suit, taking their place on the right of the chapel. Finally, Big Macintosh and Time Turner started their way down the aisle.

“His suit looks very good,” Fortuna nudged her husband.

“It should be, it was mine.”

“You gave him your wedding suit?”

“Rarity updated it for him,” he shrugged, “It was cheaper than making a whole new one, and she did say it was…” He paused searching for the words, “Retro.”

“...If you say so.”

Turner and Big Macintosh took their place on the groom’s side. Tempest trotted out, balancing a pillow on his back, using his wings to keep it steady. The colt stopped at Turner’s side, still balancing the pillow. Windblade and Moonracer flittered out, carrying their baskets on one hoof, tossing flowers everywhere. Flitter stifled a laugh as Windblade threw a flower onto Spitfire’s face. Slipstream smacked her forehead as one of Moonracer’s flowers landed on Fog Gun’s nose.

“I told them both to just toss it into the aisle.”

“It’s cute, let them be.” Cloudchaser countered.

The fillies finished off their baskets, showering Turner in flowers as they took their spot next to the bridesmaids. The music continued as the gathered ponies looked down the aisle, waiting for the bride.

---

“She’s not coming out, Uncle Bluestreak,” Fluttershy knocked on the door again, “Rainbow, everyone is waiting for you.”

“I’m not coming out,” Dash responded.

“Everyone’s already here, sweetie.” Bluestreak responded, “We’re just waiting for you.”

“Still not moving.”

“...Fluttershy, go get Turner,” Bluestreak sighed.
“We’re going to have to do this the hard way.”

...Just Say Yes

“I’m sorry, she just won’t come out.” Fluttershy apologized to Turner as they reached the bride’s dressing room.

“...I was afraid this was going to happen,” Bluestreak sighed, “She has some problems with pressure.”

“Dash?” Turner called out as he knocked on the door, “You alright?”

“No.”

“...Can I come in?”

“No.” She repeated.

“Go get Big Mac, I’m going to need his help.” Turner sighed

“...You know we can just hoist you through the window, right?” Bluestreak frowned.

“...That works too,” Turner shrugged, “Better than kicking the door in.”

“Fluttershy, go tell Twilight that the wedding is on hold,” Bluestreak paused, “And please keep my wife from getting involved, she might make things worse.”

Fluttershy nodded and trotted off. Bluestreak turned to Turner and motioned to the window above the door.

“Think you can fit?”

“I might get my suit a bit dirty, but yes.”

“Then up you go.”

Bluestreak grabbed Turner and flew up. Turner pushed the window open, and struggled to climb through it. The stallion pulled himself through and tumbled onto the floor, landing ungracefully on his back, winding him.

“You alright?” Bluestreak called.

“I’m fine,” Turner got back onto his feet, while dusting himself off, “Can you fit?”

“Wings are too big. I’m going to help Fluttershy and Twilight keep everything under control. Do what you can.”

Turner scanned the room, looking for his fiancé. The chairs of the room sat barren, racks of clothing scattered around, and the massive mirrors on the wall only showed his reflection. Turner frowned as he trotted across the room, listening for any other noises. He paused in front of the closet, listening.

“...Dash, I know you’re in there, I can hear you breathing.”

“Go away.”

“You have to come out.”

“I’m not budging.”

Turner pushed against the door, only to find it blocked by something.

“...Dash, let me in.”

“No.”

“I’m going to count to three. If the door’s not open, I’m going to break it open. One...Two...Three.”

Turner rammed himself against the door, breaking it down. His momentum propelled himself past the door, and into the opposite wall, tangling himself in the clothing tossed around the room. The stallion laid on his back, rubbing his head.

“That hurt a lot more that I expected it to.” He muttered to himself.

He paused as Rainbow Dash trotted into view: Her usually wild and messy mane braided back and crowned with flowers and a soft white veil. Her wedding dress was a knee-length simple white dress with a trail in the same colors and pattern as her mane and tail. Turner blushed.

“...You alright?” Dash asked.

“You look Beautiful.”

Dash flushed with embarrassment as she helped Turner up, “Shut up.”

“No, I’m serious. The trail is a very nice touch.”

“Aunty Rainey said it would work.” Dash sat down. Turner followed suit, sitting next to her. The two sat there in silence, waiting for the other to say something first.

“...You know you’re going to have to come out, right?” Turner broke the silence.

“...Yeah.”

“Why are you afraid?” Turner continued on, “Are you scare you’re going to screw up?”

“...Yeah,” Dash sighed, resting her head on her hooves, “What if I screw up?”

“What’s the worse you can do?” Turner countered, “Trip? It’s not going to make me love you any less and it’s not going to make people think less of you.”

“...It’s still embarrassing.”

“If I tripped you’d never stop laughing over it,” Turner grumbled.

“...True.” Dash agreed.

“...So will you go out now?”

“...Yeah.”

“Then let’s not keep them waiting,” Turner stood up, smacking his head on the closet frame.
“...How did you fit in here?”

“...Don’t ask.” Dash ducked out of the closet, “How do you want to do this? We gonna walk side by side?”

“Probably,”

---

Turner and Dash paused at the entrance to the chapel. Turner glanced at his soon-to-be wife as she took a deep breath.

“Relax, Everything will be fine.”

“I know.”

The two stepped through the archway, only to pause at the scene in front of them: a crowd of ponies and foals swarmed around Soarin and the other Wonderbolts, while a pouting Firefly floated by Bluestreak, trapped in a magical bubble. The crowd grew silent as everyone noticed the bride and groom.

“Sorry to keep everyone waiting,” Dash apologized, “...What did you do, Mom?”

“Don’t ask. Tell the princess to put me down.” Firefly grumbled.

The bubble touched down, allowing Firefly to regain her footing before vanishing. The crowd scattered as they returned to their seats and the wedding march started once again. The couple started their way down the aisle, occasionally waving and smiling at ponies in the crowd. Finally the two of them reached the front of the chapel and took their places.

“Took you long…” Slipstream trailed off as Fluttershy glared at her. Slipstream winced, but said nothing.

“Get it together Twilight,” the princess muttered to herself before sighing. She looked up at the gathered crowd and smiled.

“Mawwige is what bwings us to…” Twilight trailed off as he coughed to clear her throat. In front of her, Windblade, Moonracer, Cloudchaser and Rainbow Dash failed to stifle their giggles.

“Excuse me,” Twilight blushed, “Marriage is what brings us together, today. That blessed arrangement, the dream within a dream…” Twilight paused smiling at both Rainbow Dash and Time Turner, “And True love that will follow you both forever, So treasure your love.”

Twilight looked over the gathered crowd.

“And it is because of their love that we are gathered here today. Should anyone wish to speak out against this union, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Twilight paused, as if daring anyone to say anything. With a slight nod, she returned to the ceremony.

“Then we shall continue. Will the bride and groom step forward?”

Dash and Turner stepped towards the center of the arrangements.

“Will the ring bearer step forward?” Twilight looked at the startled Tempest. The colt trotted forward, offering the rings to Turner and Dash.

“Do you, Time Turner take Rainbow Dash to be your wife, to love and cherish for all time, ‘till death do you part?”

“Yes.”

“Please give her the ring.”

Turner picked one of the rings off the cushion by the chain. Dash bowed slightly, allowing the stallion reach around her and fasten it around her neck.

“And do you, Rainbow Dash, tak-”

“Yes!” Dash excitedly cut her off. Dash blushed as the crowd chuckled and Firefly slapped her forehead.

“Please give him the ring.”

Tempest moved over, presenting her with the other ring. Dash picked it up and reached over to fasten it around Turner’s neck. The wedding paused as Dash fiddled with it.

“...Almost got it,” Dash apologized as she continued to fiddle around, “There.”

Dash stepped back as Turner held one of her hooves.

“You may kiss your bride.”

Turner leaned in to kiss Dash, only for the mare to yank him closer. She quickly shifted her grip, grabbing the front of his suit, and brought him closer. With a grin, she leaned forward and kissed him, as he responded.

The audience burst into cheers and applause while Windblade, Moonracer and Tempest looked away.

“Ewww.”

---

Ponies mingled, ate, and laughed at the wedding reception. Turner and Rainbow sat the head of the room, looking out over everything.

“See? Everything turned out alright.”

“Shut up.” Dash playfully nudged him.

“...By the way, who’s idea was it for Twilight to quote The Princess Bride?”

“...I thought that was your idea,” Dash frowned.

“It was my idea,” Fluttershy responded, “I thought it would have been appropriate.”

“...Well it’s something,” Dash agreed, “Your speech was awesome too, by the way.”

Fluttershy flushed, “It was nothing.”

Dash’s response trailed off as Firefly stumbled over to the table. She slumped over the table, reaching across to caress her daughter’s face. Her flushed complexion and unsteady movements made it apparent: she was drunk. Bluestreak quickly appeared at her side.

“Sorry Dashie, your mother had a little too much to drink.”

“Shhuddup, I’m fine.” Firefly turned her attention back to her daughter, “Bluestreak….can you believe we made this?” Dash flushed with embarrassment as Turner stifled a laugh.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s leave them alone…” Bluestreak dragged Firefly away from the table, flashing an apologetic look at the new couple.

“...I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen your mother drunk,” Turner mused.

“...me too.” Fluttershy nodded.

Bluestreak struggled to get his wife back into her seat. Great-Aunt Rainy smiled as Firefly slumped onto the table with a loud thump. The twins looked at Firefly and then at Bluestreak.

“Uncle Bluestreak, is Aunty Firefly OK?” Moonracer asked.

“She’s fine little too much to drink,” Bluestreak sighed as he took his seat again. Slipstream rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink.

“What did she have?”

“Something Gin N’ Tonic made for her. Called it Bottled Rainboom,” Bluestreak glanced over at the wet bar, where Tonic chatted with Spitfire and some of the other Wonderbolts while mixing drinks, “Where did Dashie even meet her?”

“She works at the Strip Club we went to,” Slipstream responded.

“What’s a strip club?” Windblade asked.

“You’ll find out when you’re older.” Slipstream mused as the lights dimmed.

Soarin walked up to the performance stage as the spotlight focused on him. The stallion tapped the microphone twice and winced at the resulting feedback.

“Sorry,” he apologized into the microphone, “Wasn’t expecting that to happen. Anyway, the Best Stallion and Maid of Honor already gave their speeches, so I hope it’s alright if I do this now.”
He flashed a knowing grin at Turner and Rainbow who continued to look at the stallion in confusion.
“Anyway, don’t worry, I’m not going to bore any of you with stories about Dash’s time in the academy, or…” Soarin paused, “I don’t think I actually have any Turner stories, unless you want to hear about how he won a thousand bits out of us.”

He paused as the crowd gave him an amused chuckle.

“Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is...Please give a warm welcome to Mr. Thunderball!”

The curtains pulled away as trumpets began, revealing an older brown coated pegasus, with a graying mane and goatee. The crowd cheered as he flashed a smile.

“Love is like candy on a shelf/
You want a taste just help yourself/
The sweetest things are there for you/
Help yourself take a few/
That’s what I want you to do/…”

Dash and Turner stared at the pegasus, awestruck.

“How did he…” Dash trailed off.

“Never mind that,” Turner stood up, offering a hoof to Dash, “Would you like to dance?”

“You know it.”

Turner led his new bride onto the dance floor, in front of the crowd and Thunderball. As the couple began to dance, other couples began to join them.

Soarin took his seat back and smiled at the happy couple. Rarity frowned as she spoke, “You never did tell me how you pulled this off.”

Soarin shrugged, “He owed me a favor. His grandson wanted one of the Wonderbolts to come to his seventh birthday party. The rest of them were off performing and I got left behind because I was still healing from a wing sprain.”

“And?”

“So I went. Did a couple of stunts for the kiddies, and got free cake and pictures,” Soarin chuckled, “Thunderball told me he owed me a favor, and I figured now would be a good time to cash it. It’s a better wedding gift than a frying pan, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so. I always found his music tacky. Are we going to dance or not?” Rarity changed the subject.

Soarin smiled as he got to his hooves and offered her a hoof, “As you wish.”

At Bluestreak’s table, Great-aunt Rainey sighed as Slipstream took another sip of her drink.

“I slept with him once, you know.” the older made sighed.

Bluestreak flushed with embarrassment, while Slipstream spat her drink all over the unconscious Firefly.

“Aunty!” Bluestreak exclaimed.

“What? I was younger, he was attractive,” The earth mare sighed and blushed at the memory, “He wasn’t that good anyway.”

“What’s Great-Aunty Rainey talking about?” Moonracer asked.

“Nothing you need to know, kid.” Slipstream grumbled as she began to dry Firefly off.

“Um…” Someone tugged on Windblade’s dress. The filly look to her left: Tempest stood there, blushing and nervous.
“Windblade? Do you wanna...um…I mean you don’t haveta…”

“He’s asking you to dance with him,” Moonracer answered.

“Um...Ok?” Tempest’s face light up as the filly hopped off her chair. The two foals made their way to the dancing crowd as Slipstream looked on.

“He’s a cute one,” Great-aunt Rainey looked on.

“Aunty, they’re way too young to even be thinking about that kind of thing,” Slipstream grumbled.

“Start early. Saves them trouble later.”

---

The suite door flung open as the couple looked into the room.

“...So should how are we going to do this?” Turner looked at Dash as she yawned.

“Don’t really care. I’m exhausted.”

“...Me too.”

The couple trotted into the room, ignoring everything as they headed straight to the bed. Turner stifled a yawn as the two reached the bed.

“Need help with the dress?” he asked, looking over at Dash. The mare had already slipped out of her wedding gown, tossing it onto a chair in the room.

“Nah, I asked Rares to make it easy to get off.” She responded, as she started to undo the braid. Turner shrugged as he took off his own suit, draping it across another chair. The newlywed couple collapsed on the bed, wiggling around and adjusting to the mattress and blankets. Finally comfortable, they looked at each other and smiled.

“Good Night, Rainbow.”

“Night, Turner.”

With that the two snuggled against each other and drifted off to sleep.

Tryin' to tell me how to feel

Rarity glanced up at the clock over the doorframe: 3:28. The fashionista turned her attention to the other occupant at the table: Time Turner. To his side sat the coffee she had brewed; Saddle Arabian and ice cold, long forgotten by the rambling stallion.

"...And that's how I want to do it," he concluded, bringing his attention back to Rarity, "What do you think?"

"That it sounds rather...shall we say tacky?" The stallion's ears drooped slightly in disappointment.

"You think so?" He interrupted Rarity before she could continue. The stallion continued on, ignoring her attempts to speak.
"I don't want it to be tacky, I want her to like it. Maybe I should just delay it. But if I do that, then I'd have to cancel tonight's plans and if I have to do that she's going to flip out. I've been swamped and I promised something nice for her birthday. But if I keep the plans and just don't do that part, she's still going to flip because I said it would be the best one yet," Turner paused to smack his forehead, "I said it would be even more impressive than the thing Cheese Sandwich and Pinkie did."

"Well, I-" Rarity tried to take advantage of the pause, but he continued ranting.

"I can't tell her I'm sick, she'd see right through that. I can't pretend I forgot either, that would just make her even more angry." Time Turner smacked his face against the table, startling Rarity, "No matter what I do, I lose."

"If you would let me finish," Rarity ignored the now silent stallion, "It's tacky, but in a way that Rainbow would like."

Turner perked up, "You think so?"

"It's a cliché, but she likes it."

"Well that makes it easier," the stallion sat back up beaming, "Raven said it was stupid and Ditzy thought it was cute."

" Time Turner, there's a reason Raven hasn't had a steady relationship for years," Rarity mused, "So go and do it. You need to get ready."

"Right!" The stallion stood up and headed towards the door, "Thank you, Rarity."

"You're welcome." The door slammed behind the stallion.

Rarity sighed as she stood, engulfing both coffee mugs in her aura. "He didn't even drink his," she muttered as she poured the rest of his coffee down the sink, “What a waste."

"What's a waste?"

She looked up, out of the window above the sink: a pair of violet eyes looked back at her.

"I said, what's a waste?" Rainbow Dash repeated herself.

"Rainbow Dash, can you please use the door like a normal pony?" Rarity sighed as she unlocked her window.

"I could," Dash replied as she flittered into the kitchen and touched down, "But, that's no fun."

"My windows are not designed to have Pegasi fly in through them,” Rarity continued on, "Even Soarin knows that."

"I need advice." Rainbow Dash ignored her as she took a seat on Rarity's table.

"Why do you always come to me for advice?" Rarity asked as she took the seat opposite of the Pegasus.

" 'Cause I'm not asking Pinkie or Fluttershy. Egghead and AJ are out. Not asking Flit or Chaser either," Rainbow counted off her friends, "AJ doesn't give any romantic advice, Twilight'll go off on some long-winded lecture, Flit and Shy are the same; neither wants to talk about it, Chaser is... kinda weird about her relationship with the big guy and Pinkie..."

"..Is the last choice, isn't she?"

"I don't know how she and Joe got into a relationship, but I don't think it'll work for anyone else," Dash shook her head, "So that leaves you."

Rarity rolled her eyes, "So what's bothering you, then?"

"Turner's been acting weird lately," Rainbow Dash replied, "Sort of shifty, like he's hiding something from me. I talked with Raven and Ditzy, but Raven said she never noticed, and Ditzy just shrugged."

"Is he? I haven't noticed," Rarity shrugged again.

"Well I have," Dash paused, "Is he planning in breaking up with me?"

"Rainbow! Have some faith in him!" Rarity snapped, "The two of you have been together for what now, four years?"

"Five,"

"Five years," Rarity corrected herself, " And you honestly think that he wouldn't talk things over with you if things were not going well?"

"Well...I guess so, it's not like Turner to keep something like that a secret," Dash admitted.

"So talk to him, see what is bothering him and solve it together." Rarity replied.

"...Yeah, you're right. Thanks Rares."

Dash got up and headed for the entrance. Rarity sighed as she got back on to her hooves and returned to her unwashed dishes.

"Why must They always bother me for advice?" She muttered to herself as the doom slammed close.

"Because you're good at it," Rarity jumped at the response, before whirling around, ready to use the cup she had been washing as a weapon. Soarin backed off slightly, before giving her a sheepish grin.

"Sorry Rares, Didn't mean to surprise you like that," He apologized.

"Soarin, I wasn't expecting you today," Rarity responded as she placed the cup back into the sink.

"Yeah, well... Spitfire had a family emergency back in Hoofton, so that makes me in charge and..." He shrugged, "We're overdue for a break anyway."

"I see."

"Anyway, what were you muttering about? And why was Dash here?"

"Well, the answer to those questions is one and the same," Rarity placed the last cup onto the dish rack, "It all boils down to Time Turner."

"Her coltfriend? Or is it going to be one of those 'soon to be ex-coltfriend things?"

"No, no," Rarity trailed off, "Why don't you sit down and I'll explain..."

"Can we do this a Berry's? Or maybe Sugarcube Corner?" The sheepish grin returned to Soarin's face, "Feeling a bit hungry."

"...Darling, you are nothing but an eating machine," Rarity rolled her eyes, "The Cakes are out of town and Pinkie is in Canterlot for the weekend, so Berry's it is."

"Great! Been craving one of her Granny Smith Cure-Alls."

"Is that the only reason you keep visiting? Berry's bar?"

Soarin quickly glanced around, "Well..."

"Sweetie Bell isn't here."

"Well, two reasons then," Soarin's grin returned, but the sheepishness of it gone: replaced with the predatory smile of a wolf.

Rarity rolled her eyes, "Very well."

---

Dash checked the mirror again: her mane still remained tied back in a single braid showing off the multitude of colors. She looked down smoothing out the nonexistent creases in her dress. After another glance in the mirror she glanced over in the corner at the hovering Tortoise.

"Alright Tank, wish me luck."

The tortoise silently nodded in response before flying off to another part of the house. Dash opened her window and shot out, streaking across Ponyville until she reached Le Cheval Amical. The maître de wrinkled his nose as she came to a stop in front of him, and quickly dusted herself off with a flitter of her wings. The two stared at each other, frowning.

“Remember…”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” Dash brushed the warning off, “I’m not gonna knock Castroli into anyone’s face.”

“It was linguini.”

“Whatever.”

The maitre de rolled his eyes as he turned around and led Dash into the restaurant. The two passed several other couples before the two reached her table. A sweating Time Turner flashed an unconvincing smile as Dash took her seat.

“While you’re looking over the menus, can I bring any drinks?”

“Mimosa,” Time Turner stuttered out, “Grapefruit if you have it.”

“Vodka Buck.”

“We do not serve vodka.”

“Seriously?” Dash rolled her eyes, “Horse’s neck, then.”

“Very well.”

Dash turned her attention back to Turner as the maître de left, “Why are we here?”

“For your birthday dinner.”

“Why here?”

“Well, you finally got unbanned,” Time Turner paused, “I still don’t know how or why.”

“Your dad pulled some strings. I think he got sick of eating at the café,” Dash grumbled as their drinks arrived, “Thank you.”

“Well…Yeah, he did,” Turner shrugged as Dash took a swing of her drink.

“So this is the big birthday surprise? Bit of a let down.”

“No, no, dinner’s just part of it,” Turner took a sip of his drink, “…this is tangerine.”

“…Whatever,” Dash grumbled as she picked up the menu.

“…Why are you angry?”

“I’m not angry, I’m…annoyed,” Dash glanced up, “What’s a risotto?”

“Rice cooked with sauce.”

“Arancini?”

“Sort of a riceball that’s stuffed and fried. It’s more of an appetizer than anything.”

“Get some of that, it sounds good,” Dash looked back down at the menu, “What’s a Scacciata?”

“Sort of a cheese pie or calzone.” Turner responded, “If it’s a fancier one, it’s more like a pie.”

“That sounds good, what are you getting?”

“Probably the Scaccia,” Turner shrugged, “It’s more like a flatbread thing.”

Dash stared at him “…Right then. We’re eating Lipizzian food.”

“…Yes? The restaurant expanded from just French.”

Dash’s response was cut off as a waitress arrived and flashed the couple a smile, “Ready to order?”

“I’ll take the scaccia. Is the basil fresh?”

“Very fresh,” the waitress turned towards Dash, “and for you, Miss?”

“Can I get an order of arancini and a Scacciata?”

“Mozzarella, mushrooms or eggplant arancini?”

“Which one’s the normal one?” Dash folded up her menu.

“Mozzarella.”

“That’s fine,” Dash downed her drink and brought the glass down with a loud clink, “Can I get another one of these, too?” She asked, ignoring the annoyed glares the other diners gave her.

“Certainly. Please remember that we do have a limit on how many drinks a guest can have,” the waitress informed her as she took the menus from the two, “We don’t want to disturb other guest with drunken antics.”

“Is this about what happened at Berry’s?” Dash asked, “We didn’t know Maud couldn’t hold her liquor.”

“No, general rule,” the Waitress paused, “Happened before they hired me.”

The waitress walked off, leaving the two behind.

“…What did you do at Berry’s?” Turner asked, “and when did that happen?”

“You were visiting your relatives in Fillydelphia. Pinkie’s sister came to visit again, one thing led to another, we ended up at the bar, and…Well Maud’s a lightweight. Like really lightweight.”

“You said Fluttershy got…” Turner paused, searching for the right word.
“What’s the word you used?”

“Shitfaced,” Dash paused as the waitress returned with her drink.

“That’s it. You said Fluttershy became loopy drunk over one beer.”

“Well, to be fair it wasn’t a beer. Or one. It was like three Manehatten Ice teas.”

Time Turner smacked his forehead with his hoof, “And you said Fluttershy has no drinking experience.”

“…Yes.”

“So what did Maud do?”

Dash looked down at the empty spot in front of her, avoiding Turner’s gaze, “She had Nightmare Fuel,”

“…Is this why Berry’s has been closed for the last month?”

“Yeah,” Dash shrugged, “Turns out she’s a really vicious drunk.”

“…Sweet Celestia, do you know how much the repairs cost?” Turner rubbed his face, “Twilight’s Castle needed refitting to fit the new building safety codes, the Bowling Alley needed new plumbing, the new library need to be rewired after it nearly shorted out, and then Berry needed to refit her entire bar.”

“Well, to be completely fair, Maud never drank before either, and I don’t think she plans on it ever again.”

“Good, it’s not for everyone.” Turner paused, “I know how weird it sounds for use to be saying that.”

“Whatever.”

The waitress returned with a small cart. She beamed at the couple as she quickly placed the plates on the table in front of them.

“Enjoy ♪!”

Dash prodded at one of the arancini balls, breaking it in half with her fork.

“…It’s a breaded rice ball,” Dash blinked, “I thought it was like an actual rice ball, not covered in breadcrumbs.”

“You’ve had Taishoshima food before?” Turner asked as he cut into his food.

“I’ve had rice balls. Or Anigari or whatever they call it.” Dash sniffed the broken half.

“Onigiri.”

“That’s it,” Dash popped the broken arancini into her mouth and chewed.

“…How is it?”

Dash swallowed and reached for another, “Sort of like a weird cross between a mozzarella stick and a rice ball.”

“…I’m going to try one.” Turner reached over with his own fork and took one for himself.

The two chewed in silence. After a moment, Dash turned to her Scacciata, taking a bite out of it.

“…This is pretty good.” Dash stated, “Sort of like a big fancy calzone.”

“I told you you’d like it.”

Dinner continued as the two traded small talk. After the last of the food vanished, the waitress returned.

“Anything for dessert?”

“What kind of cannoli is it?” Turner asked.

“Blueberry and rose water in the ricotta cheese.”

“That will be fine.” Turner nodded.

“Tiramisu.”

“Alright!”

The waitress walked off, leaving the two to silently stare at each other.”

“Seriously, what are you planning?” Dash continued to ask, “We’re eating Lipizzian. You make Lipizzian when you have something big to tell me.”

Turner paused, pondering over his options. He sighed as he reached into his pocket and pulled something out.

“I was really hoping to put this off as long as I could, but…”

He flipped open the box and spun it around to show her the contents: a single golden ring connected to a chain. Dash stared at it in confusion for several moments, before what was going on sank in.

“Rainbow Dash, will you marry me?”