PonyConAU 1/2 Hour Writing Challenge Entries

by Evdog

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Tragedy
Length: 536

Stream-of-consciousness shorts, drafted within a 1/2 hour

Disclaimer: These stories are written on a whim, within a ½ hour allotted time frame, for PonyCon AU's annual writing competition, with phrasing, grammar, punctuation touched up afterward. These shorts follow a stream of consciousness, and are by no means meant to be taken seriously.

PonyConAU 2014 Writing Challenge: Twilight And The Fire
Twilight creates a fire from a magic spell book she didn't know she had, but then commits a horrendous atrocity…

PonyConAU 2015 Writing Challenge: Twilight's Summer Search For Books
Twilight leaves the sunny beach to find a library, but ends up being racist at a convenience store…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-29 03:00:30 UTC

2014: Twilight and the Fire

Twilight Sparkle was home in her library one afternoon, doing some book rearranging. On one shelf, far in the back, she noticed a book in the library. She had never seen this one before. Was it new? Or had it always been there? She took it off the shelf and began to read. In the inside cover, there was a warning on the cover, which read:

“Don't read this spell book.

...no seriously. Just don't. It's bad news, and will only-”

This was all Twilight read before the curiosity of this mysterious book compelled her to plunge into its pages. The book contained a number of various spells, and descriptions on how to perform them, yet no information on any of the outcomes of the spells. On a whim, she decided to flip to Page 17, and try one out.

Within the next ten seconds, the entire inside of the library was ablaze in a hot orange fire! Thinking fast, the attempted a dampening spell, but it had no effect, because it was a magic fire (but Twilight was not aware of that...). She tried to levitate water onto it from the kitchen, but it was too late: the magic fire had already developed a level of consciousness, enough to discern that magic was being used in the process. As such, the fire absorbed the used magic to grow, and cancel out the water's damage.

Within the next ten minutes, it had enveloped the better half of Ponyville. By this point, Twilight was rather worried, and also a little bit annoyed. The townsfolk began to run for their lives, but then they realised that the magic fire was actually not so bad; it wasn't trying to hurt anyone. In fact, it was a pretty cool guy. Some of the fillies and colts even roasted marshmallows on in, because the fire was totally cool with it.

Nevertheless, Twilight was still concerned about putting this enormous fire out although, by this point, she was the only one wanting to do so. She continued to ramble about “imminent danger”, “property damage”, “the evacuation of Ponyville”, and other dumb things like that. She had run off to Sweet Apple Acres to acquire an industrial-grade hose and pump. From a distance from the fire, she assembled them with magic, and placed one end into the nearby river. Turning on the non-magic generator, she blasted the fire with water until it was all but a pile of wet ash.

Everypony stared at Twilight in disdain and contempt. Some people began to mutter words like “murderer” between them, which she was, because the magic fire had not killed, or even hurt, anypony, and she had strait-up killed it mercilessly for nothing. Besides, nopony actually needed houses and beds anyway. They all unanimously insisted that Twilight leave Ponyville, and never return.

To this day, if you visit Ponyville, you can see a statue erected in the town square dedicated to the magic fire, whom (almost) everypony loved dearly. Twilight has never been seen since. The moral of this story is “Always read warning labels or you might just end up committing murder, and making everyone hate you forever.”