This House Is Not a Home

by Macho Madness

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Applejack, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Rarity
Length: 5194

After The Best Young Fliers competition, Rainbow Dash deals with the loss of someone important.

After the Best Young Fliers competition, Rainbow Dash deals with the loss of someone important.

Editing and prereading done by Arcelia and Habanc

Cover art by Elkaart at Deviant Art.

Published 2015-06-29 20:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-06-29 20:00:02 UTC

To Be Alone

With a mechanical whir, a small claw grabbed a dirty, dinged up record. The jukebox moved a new song into place, the creaks and groans of its mechanism revealing its age. The tinny sound of banjos began to filter through the crackling speakers, filling the dark and empty bar. Rainbow turned away from the jukebox just as a gravelly-voiced stallion started crooning about love and loss.

Her gait was uneven as she weaved her way between the various tables of all different makes. Some were as old as the building itself, still made of untreated wood. Others proudly reflected the dim lights in the bar as if untouched and brand new.

She trundled over to an old stool by the corner, its parts mismatched and its seat torn. She shakily put her forelegs up on the counter and tried to climb up on the rickety stool, her hoof slipping repeatedly. Eventually mastering the secret art of stools, she found herself in front of the bartender. He was an old and taciturn stallion with a deep-brown coat that made him blend in with the walls when you weren’t looking.

He wordlessly slid a mug filled to the brim and a small glass filled with a dark amber liquid. She mouthed a thank you and he slipped back into the periphery. With one clumsy motion, she grabbed the shot and downed it. She could feel it burn it’s way down and settle in her gut like an anvil.

Pushing the shot glass aside, she bought the mug in close. Beside her a Stetson flopped down on the counter in a cloud of dust and dirt. A single orange hoof reached into it and the pony beside her pulled out a small red carton. With a flick of her wrist a cigarette flopped down between Rainbow’s forearms, rolling gently to the base of her mug.

“So I hear tell of you bar hoppin’ before the bars are even open, fly girl,” Applejack said through her cigarette. The smoke floated up towards the ceiling in lazy trails, before being batted around by the fan wobbling above them.

Rainbow stayed silent as she picked up the cigarette in with her teeth. A faint green glow illuminated the back corner of the bar where the bartender had nestled himself and the cigarette sparked to life.

“Roseluck says you been racking up quite the tab over at her place,” Applejack said, her face set in stone as she looked forward.

Rainbow inhaled deeply and relished in the painful tingling of the smoke filling her lungs. The smoke trailed from her nostrils as she exhaled. “Is this about me not paying my tab? Because you know I always pay it on Fri-”

Applejack slapped a hoof at Rainbow’s. "Aint ‘bout your tab, Dash. That’s ‘tween you and Rose. This is about you stumbling through town with enough booze on your breath to get folks drunk,” she said sharply.

Rainbow cast a sidelong glare at Applejack. “That sure as hell isn’t any of your business either, AJ.”

Applejack looked her straight in the eye, determination burning like fire. “It is when my best friend is tearing up her life over something she couldn’t have helped! It ain’t your fault Rarity-”

Rainbow slammed her hoof on the counter and left a faint spider web of cracks in the aging wood. “Shut up!” The glasses hanging above the bar rattled with the force of her voice.

Rainbow’s head sank to the counter with a gentle thud. “Shut up,” she said whimpered as her body started to tremble.

“Just… Shut up,” Tears began to run tracks through her fur.

The metal base of Applejack’s stool clattered against the patchwork tile floor as she scooted closer to Rainbow Dash. She leaned over and drew an arm over her friend’s withers.

“I’m serious, sugar. Weren't nothing you coulda done,” she said.

With a grunt, Rainbow shoved Applejack off her and in the same motion hopped off her stool. Her posture sagged like she was hung by the scruff of her neck as she bobbed weakly in the air.

“The hell do you know? You were stuck on that damn cloud the whole time!” she said as she jabbed her hoof into Applejack’s chest. “I was right there, AJ, I could touch her! I damn near had her!”

Her head drooped as she finally broke eye contact with Applejack. “But I fucked up,” she said, her face set in stone.

Before Applejack could respond, Rainbow was gone. Only a cloud of dust and the jingling of the door’s bell were left as evidence that she was there.

With a heavy sigh, Applejack turned back to the counter. She mindlessly reached into her hat and threw a pile of bits on the counter. They clattered against the counter, drowning out the final notes of the song playing on the jukebox.

With one motion, her hat was back on her head and she was walking towards the door.

Rainbow felt her ears pop as she leveled out at the peak of her flight. She was high enough up that she could barely hear herself think over the howl of the biting wind. Her wings started to strain. She had been pushing herself harder than usual already, and crashing half a dozen times hadn’t helped matters either.

She had just one trick to go now, though. The Sonic Rainboom. If she could do this, she had the Best Young Fliers’ trophy in the bag. She just had to pull off the impossible.

Below her she could see Rarity still fluttering around like a moron; her gaudy, glittering wings sending her about in graceful circles and twirls. She had to make sure her dive didn’t cross where Rarity was flying. The speed she would be at as she hit the stadium would make it impossible for Rainbow to correct or Rarity to catch.

Another problem in a long list of them. Whatever. She would do this. Rainbow “Danger” Dash always won when it counted. Always.

She slapped her face with both hooves and gave gave her head a quick shake. With a deep breath, she drew into her dive form. Thats when she saw it.

A flash of orange and a puff of smoke. Rarity was plummeting. With a single beat of her protesting wings, Rainbow was after her.

As she passed the natural cloud level, she saw the Wonderbolts team next to Celestia spring into action. They dived after Rarity only to tumble away and scatter limply to the wind.

As Rainbow passed the stadium itself she could start to hear Rarity’s panicked shrieks. Rainbow’s wings were screaming in pain. She pushed though. She had to. Rainbow Dash never failed when it mattered. Never.

In seconds she was just above Rarity. She could look her in the eyes from this distance. They were like pinpricks locked into her own. Rarity stopped flailing just long enough to reach a hoof out towards Rainbow. She was right there, hoof brushing against hoof when she felt it. The last thing she wanted right now.

The air around her began to condense, resisting more than it should and she started to slow down ever so gently. Rarity began to slip away. For a split second, Rainbow was suspended in the air as Rarity drew closer to the ground. She could still hear her screaming her name.

And then she was flung backwards, tumbling through the air like a rookie who flew into an updraft. She was able to right herself in no time. But it was too late.

Rarity was no longer screaming.

Rainbow Dash wobbled and dipped in her flight over the snow blanketed roofs of Ponyville. As she glided slowly over the town, she could see a few ponies going about their final business before the setting sun finally vanished behind the canopy of the Everfree.

“Damn that Applejack,” she muttered to herself.

A gust of frigid winter wind caught her off guard and sent her off balance. She dipped down and her hooves clipped someone’s chimney before she could regain her altitude. As she drew a lazy trail through the smattering of clouds, she could feel the droning buzz of her inebriation fade into the background.

“She made me waste that beer,” she said with a scowl.

Her heart jumped into her throat when she caught sight of the orange flag that marked Carousel Boutique fluttering in the light evening breeze. Its windows were dark, as they had been for weeks now. The snow had piled up around the abandoned building with the exception of the back door. The snow was just barely ankle height there.

Rainbow swallowed hard and banked down towards her friend’s old home and landed with a heavy thud on the roof. She tapped her hoof on part of the paneling several times until a key dropped out from it and landed with a barely audible plop in the snow.

She jumped down after it and picked the cold sliver of metal in her teeth. The key clacked against the keyhole, breaking the silence near the empty home. The hinges whined as Rainbow Dash pushed the door open.

With practiced ease, she wobbled through the empty show room and into the kitchen in the back. She opened the frilled baby blue curtains near Rarity’s dinner table and let the dusk sun cast the room in an orange glow.

She floated up towards cabinet hung over the refrigerator and opened it. Huffing with effort, she pulled an old and dusty crockpot out. She dropped it unceremoniously on the counter next to her, the thud echoing through the lonely house.

She reached a hoof in and pulled a reddish black bottle from the very back. It’s simple label read ‘Founder’s Estate Cabernet Sauvignon.’ After placing the bottle on the bare table, she opened the cabinet next to the widow. She pulled out two wine glasses, careful to keep the delicate crystal from clattering around.

She sat down at one end of the table and placed the glasses at opposite ends. With mechanical precision, she poured two glasses of wine.

“Never understood how you liked this stuff, to be honest,” Rainbow said, her voice heavy and quiet. “But hell, this one’s for you, Rares.”

She held her glass high before she tapped it against the other and whispered ‘cheers.’ Tipping it back, she downed the whole glass like it was cheap liquor. She leaned back in her chair and propped the back up against the countertop behind her. With her back legs crossed on the table, she relaxed. She stared at the ceiling with an empty look as she felt the warmth of wine fill her, a tide of memories washing over her.

She was back in time, a young mare barely out of adolescence, sitting at the same table. Across from her, Rarity babbled animatedly. The light of that distant morning reflected off her hair, rolled up in mismatched curlers. Her hoof swung out in a grand gesture. She knocked over a glass of something. Orange juice probably, she loved that. Rarity tried to put it off with a joke, but Rainbow couldn’t remember what it was. She didn’t care though. She was simply content to just listen to the dull echo of her friend’s voice, the words lost in time.

She sat up and filled another glass. Bringing it to her mouth again, it was empty just as fast as the last one. She leaned over and rested her head against the curtains. It still smelled like Rarity’s favorite perfume.

She ran back to the past again. The curtains were drawn and closed to the night sky. A single candle flickered in the darkness, it’s faint light dancing off of Rarity’s piercing blue eyes. She had tried a new hairstyle for that night. It framed her face beautifully; a portrait of perfection.

Lost in thought, she barely heard the back door creaking open. Before she could respond, she heard a familiar twang call out.

“Rainbow? You in here?” Applejack shouted into the darkness.

“In the kitchen, AJ,” she called back.

She tried to pretend, for just a moment, that the hoofsteps she heard coming down the wooded hallway were Rarity’s, but couldn’t. Applejacks’ hoof steps were graceless thuds; entirely unlike Rarity's practiced gait.

Soon enough, Applejack sat down across from Rainbow. She carefully pushed the full glass of wine to the side and rested her forehooves on the table.

Rainbow filled and emptied her glass one more time before bothering to speak to Applejack. “What do you want now? Come to bug me about something else?” she said, her voice dripping with frustration.

“No, I just-” she rubbed her forelegs together and fidgeted in her seat. Reaching up and clutching her hat, she turned toward Rainbow.“I miss talking with you. Friendly like, I mean. Celestia knows we’ve been talking a lot these past few weeks.”

“Then what do you want to talk about?” Rainbow asked, her voice low.

Applejack’s gaze swept over the abandoned kitchen. The sink was full of wine glasses and the wastebin near the archway had several bottles in it.

“How did you meet Rares anyway? Never did understand how you two got along so well,” she said. “Ya’ll were friends for years before Twi showed up, right?”

“Yeah, we were,” Rainbow said. “Eight years is a long time to know someone.”

Rainbow hooked a hoof around the third chair and dragged it next to her. She propped her legs on it and rested her back on the curtain behind her.

“You know, I wasn’t much older than ‘Bloom is now when I met her.” She reached over to the wine bottle again, holding it up for a moment and paused. “Was it 88? Yeah, ‘88.”

Rainbow poured herself another glass. When she was done she jostled the bottle a bit and the wine sloshed gently. “I was nothing more than a filly when I left home. Thirteen. Hell of an age to be on your own.”

“Why in the world were you? Thought your parents were… around.” Applejack asked, her voice trailing off.

“Yeah. They are. But when I was a kid, my mom and I didn’t really get along. She wanted me to get a boring job. Something safe and reliable. Lawyer, doctor, anything that made bank.

“When I got my cutie mark, it drove her up the wall that I wanted to fly. Said there wasn’t any money to be made in using my wings,” her face twisted into a scowl.

“So I left. I had my cutie-mark; I was legally able to do what the hell I wanted.” She turned towards Applejack with a smirk. “Cloudsdale was above Seasaddle at the time.”

A fire sparked in her eyes as she tapped a hoof to her chest. “I flew from Seasaddle to Manehattan in a week. Takes an experienced pegasus two.”

Applejack smiled back, “Running from your problems? That don’t sound like the Rainbow I know.”

The fire in Rainbow’s eyes dimmed. “Yeah, I was a different pony then.” She grabbed her glass and held it in her lap.

“I’m not really proud of who I was, to be honest. I did a lot of stupid things. Said even more stupid things. Hell, if it weren't for Rares, I would be long gone.”

Applejack’s eyes flicked to the bottle between them.

Rainbow put the glass on the table, the last dregs of wine sloshing in the bottom. “You were right, earlier. I do have a problem. I’ve always kinda had it.

“I just never let it get in between me and Rares. She helped me clean up back then. Kept me clean. Well, clean-ish. She never objected to a few drinks.”

A faint smile crept across Rainbow’s face. “Always said I sang better after the second one anyway.”

Applejack got up and grabbed the nearly empty bottle in her teeth. Her eyes met Rainbow’s briefly. Rainbow’s ears flattened and she waved a hoof towards the sink.

“You know me and Rares would always find time to have breakfast together? That’s how we met really.”

Applejack let the bottle go. It clattered into the sink, a streak of red disappearing into the drain.

“She was working as a waitress at a little dive of a diner by the docks. Ol’ River’s Diner. Worst tasting coffee in the world. But when you were hungover as often as I was, the strong stuff is your best friend, right?

Applejack laughed. “It’s the only thing that'll get me out of bed in the mornin, sugarcube.”

Rainbow’s smile widened. “It’s pretty funny how everyone thinks you’re some kinda morning pony. Everypony is all ‘Oh! what’s your secret AJ?’” She said, clasping her hooves to her cheeks.

“Old family trick," Applejack leaned in towards Rainbow, "A whole cotton-pickin’ pot of Foalgers!"

The two of them broke down, their laughter bringing life back to the boutique for the first time in a month.

"I needed that," Rainbow said through the last vestiges of her laughter. "It's been hard to laugh, you know?"

"It usually is. You just gotta try twice as hard," Applejack said, wiping her eyes.

"Yeah." Rainbow shifted in her seat, turning to face Applejack completely. "We got a bit off track there, didn't we?"

Applejack waved a hoof dismissively. "Its fine, Rainbow. It can't be easy talking about this."

"It isn't." Smirking as she shook her head. "Just means I gotta try twice as hard, yeah?"

"That you do, sugar." Applejack said.

"Well, I would always get in just a bit before she got off. We struck up a conversation one day. From then on, she clocked out and sat at my booth and we would just talk. all morning usually." Rainbow said.

“So that’s it? You two just were best friends from the get go?” Applejack said.

"It feels like it, yeah." Rainbow said.

“I’ll never get how all y’all got along so well. You would think a tomboy like you would be fightin’ with her worse than me.” Applejack said.

"We did. A lot." Rainbow's eyes lingered over a patch of wall lighter than the rest. "The more you care about someone, the worse you fight. I think Zecora said it was because love and hate are the same thing. Something like that anyway."

Rainbow got up from her seat. She groaned as she stretched her legs, front to back; each joint in her body popping in quick succession. Applejack got up and followed as Rainbow walked slowly out of the kitchen. They stopped in the hallway connecting the showfloor to the rest of the residence. Rainbow sat on her haunches facing the wall.

A collage of pictures and frames hung there. Pictures of Rarity's family, of friends, and the important people she brushed up with. All of them were in elaborate and ornate frames, jewels sparkling with the setting sun.

In the center of them sat a simple and unassuming frame. Its dark stained wood, dull to the light, was in stark contrast to the flamboyance of its companions.

Rainbow reached up and adjusted it. The wall behind it was bright, untouched by the tarnish that touched the rest of the wall.

The picture itself was simple. Rainbow had her arm's around Rarity's neck, hovering above her. Both of them wore smiles brighter than Applejack had seen on either of them in years. They stood on the doorstep of a beaten up old town house. It's yellowish doors and window frames obviously once a bright shade of white. Greyish blue paint chipped from the bricks, revealing the dark red beneath.

"This was the first picture we ever had taken of us both." Rainbow said. "We had just leased this rat hole. Trust me, as bad as it looks on the outside, it was worse on the inside."

Applejack couldn't help but smile. "But it was your rat hole."

"Exactly."

Rainbow kept staring at the picture. She couldn't take her eyes off Rarity. She traced those purple curls with her eyes.

"I think I see it, Rainbow." Applejack whispered.

Rainbow nodded, but never broke from the photo.

"It's y'all's eyes. I never saw it before, but the two of you had the same eyes." Applejack ran a hoof over her mane. "It was like y'all had a fire in you. The same damn fire that you get when you fly and when she created."

"I suppose it-" She was interrupted by muffled sobs beside her. "You holdin up there, flygirl?'

Dark tracks ran down Rainbow's muzzle. Her whole frame shook with each sob. "I miss her so damn much, AJ." She croaked out.

“We’ll get through this, Dash.” Applejack felt her throat catch as she draped her arms around Rainbow. "We will."

Rainbow rolled over in bed. The thick, frilly comforter rolled with her. She pawed at the empty divet next to her absently. Through the crack of the curtain behind her, the sun creeped lower towards the horizon. It’s soft light reflected off the old and weathered vanity in the corner of the room. A single picture adorned it’s lonely table. It was face down.

She pulled the pillow next to hers down and clutched it tight. Her eyes squeezed shut, she ran her hoof along the spine of the pillow. It started to get damp as she lay there, trying to ignore the harsh light as she pretended the fabric in her arms was fur. Silky, immaculate fur. With a deep breath, the last vestiges of Rarity’s smell encased her.

The mattress was rapidly becoming uncomfortable. A spring dug into her ribs. The pinprick of a feather poked through the pillow into her cheek. The thick comforter weighed down on her like a ton of bricks. Her whole body sweltered in her robe.

She threw the blanket off with a groan. It hit the floor beside the bed with a muffled fwump. Her eyes scrunched tighter as the change in position caused her head to start to hurt.

“I’ve been in this damn bed too long,” she muttered, rolling out off the side. She threw the blanket back on the bed in a heap before stretching, every bone in her spine popping in sequence. Dragging her hooves in the plush carpet, she trudged through the barely lit halls to the bathroom. A flick of her wing, and the room is flush with a soft orange light. The faint buzzing of light bulbs filled the silence.

She plopped down in front of the sink and glares at the pony in front of her. Her hair was a tangled mess, worse than Pinkie’s after a serious cider party. The bags under her eyes told of how well she had been sleeping.

She shook her head and ran a comb through her rat’s nest. Satisfied with it only being as bad as Pinkie’s after a kid’s party, she threw the comb back into the sink. A flick of a hoof and her robe was untied and she peeled it from her sweat damp fur. Another flick of her wing and it was in a pile behind the door.

The brass rings clattered across the shower bar as she pulled the curtain back. She stared at the tub for a moment before sliding the curtain in place again. “Forget it. I don’t need to be anywhere today.”

She looked up at the clock by the mirror. It read 4:36. “I guess I mean this evening,” she sighed.

Flicking the lights off, she trudged out and down the stairs. She meandered around the house before settling down on the nook by the back of the show room.

She sat on the baby blue cushions of the bay window’s bench. She leaned hard on the frame, the glass and wood cold on her fur. Her breaths left a cloud, obscuring her view slightly. A rattling sigh escaped her as she closed her eyes. She remembered the countless lazy afternoons Rarity and her shared on this bench. Rarity always insisted they watch the sunset together as often as possible. A habit she was loathe to break even now.

A shiver wracked her body. Everything was too cold. Her bed. Her room. Her home.

Everything.

The silence of the empty house was oppressive. The cold window chilled her to the bone. Her throat constricted and eyes burned. With a cry she threw open the window and launched out and into the sky.

She slammed hooves first into the nearest cloud and she bounded into another. She tackled a third and latched onto it as it spun off. It finally came to a stop a few moments later and she stayed latched onto it, upside down.

She stared unflinchingly at the darkening horizon. “What the hell am I doing?” she muttered.

Letting go, she dropped and righted herself. She hovered there for a moment and gave the cloud a lazy kick, sending it spiralling off again.

“I need to talk to someone…” With a powerful flap she was off again.

Rainbow flew a slow arc over the hill just before Sweet Apple Acres. The trees were bare, the snows beneath them covered in a latticework of shadows from the early evening sun.

She banked slowly north, lining herself up with the path way up to the Apple home. Two heavy thuds, and she was on the ground. The dirt path wound slowly up hill, a faded white porch at the apex.

She mustered up the will to walk forward. Her gait was slow and measured. The steps groaned as she approached the front door.

She hesitated. She had knocked on this door countless times before. She was almost as familiar with its squeaky hinges as Applejack. But right now, it was- She shook her head and rapped her hoof on the door.

She heard a faint 'I hear ya' and footsteps from the other side. The door opened with a shrieking whine.

Applejack stood on the other side of the threshold. Her pale blonde hair in a disheveled mess around her shoulders. She smiled when she saw her friend. "Little late for you to be about, ain’t it, flygirl?"

“I hate to turn up out of the blue like this, AJ,” she said.. “I just- I need to talk with you about...”

Applejack turned back into the house. “Mac, can ya handle the kitchen by yourself for a bit?” she shouted.

A rumbling ‘eeyup’ came back.

She stepped out onto the porch, herding Rainbow towards the swing bench. “Sit your keister there, flygirl. I told you before that you’re always welcome for a chat.”

Rainbow sat hard on the bench, the old rusted chains giving an angry squeal in protest. It was cold and a little damp. “You did, yeah…” she said.

Applejack brushed a bit of snow from the seat and got up on the swing next to Rainbow.

They sat there in silence for a time. The wind gently rustled the old chimes dangling by the door. Rainbow sighed deeply and sank into the seat.

“I don’t really know where to start, AJ…”

Applejack ran a hoof along Rainbow’s back. “It’s alright, Dash. Why don’t we just talk then? There’s plenty of stuff ya’ll missed lately.”

Rainbow gave her a sideways glance and smiled slightly. “Sure. What has Pinks been up to lately?”

“There’s a helluva story there, actually.” Applejack said with a laugh.

“So there I was, walking down Stirrup Street minding my own business. I was goin’ on down to Twi’s place to say howdy. Hadn’t talked to her in a few days, and you know that you gotta keep on that girl, or she just forgets to go outside for a week. Spike, bless his heart, tries to keep her healthy, but there’s only so much one dragon can do.

“But when I was passing by Minuette’s place, I was tackled by none other than Pinkie! Crazy mare came out of nowhere and just slammed into me shouting my name like I was her only hope.

“Turns out, I was. See, she got it in her head that she had seen the mythical ‘Treehoof’. Apparently, it’s a giant pony with a tree for a hoof. Or head. She was never all too clear on that part. Just that a tree was involved.

“Still, Treehoof supposedly could only be seen by Earth Pony, and when she saw it, she said she instantly knew she needed my help.

“And then she said, and I swear she did, she said ‘If you want to help, Jackie, take this bicycle wheel!’ And the girl just up and pulls one from her cotton picking mane of all pla-”

“How did you deal with it, AJ?” Rainbow interjected. “Your parents, I mean.”

Applejack stopped mid sentence and stared at Rainbow. Her eyes took on a far away look as she turned away. She settled into the seat, causing it to creak.

She stared ahead, eyes fixated on a pair of willows on a hill.

“When I was a little filly, Granny told me ‘time heals all wounds.’ It’s a load of bull. Time don’t do anything for ya but give you new wounds to cover up the old ones.

“But at the time, I believed her. The way she talked about it, about you just magically getting over loss, it was convincing.”

She sighed and shook her head. “Though I reckon she was trying to convince herself more than she was me and Mac.

“She wasn’t the same after Ma and Pa died. Before that, she ran the farm like she had for decades. After that though, I ended up pulling most of the slack. Mac was a frail colt, so he hardly did much but work the books and sell our goods. Bloom wasn't much more than a little foal and she needed a mother. I never really had time to deal with my problems.

“I can tell you one thing though, Dash.” She hopped off the swing.

“She would want you to live.” Applejack said staring Rainbow in the eye. Their eye’s locked, unblinking for a moment, another gust of wind jostling the chimes.

Finally, Applejack broke eye contact. She turned towards the door and started to go inside. “You’re welcome for dinner, if you want. Me and Mac are cooking up Uncle Fritter’s carrot and apple stew.”

Rainbow said nothing.

“Well alright, just make sure you get home soon. Last I talked to Thunderlane, weather was fixing to get mighty cold tonight.”

The door shut and locked with a click. She continued to stare at the two trees that Applejack was fixated on the whole conversation.

“Don’t know if I can, AJ.” She whispered, the words lost in the jingling chimes.

Author's Note

Hey there! Thanks for reading!

If you enjoyed it, or hated it, please tell me why! I'm always open to criticism.

If you just want to fellate my ego or call me a stupid jerkface I'm cool with that too. Especially the mean one. I love me some shitposting!