Author's Note

My first smutty fic so i hope you enjoy it, I kept this real quiet so I know it’s definitely a surprise considering the fluff I normally write haha. (I am so sorry, but this did get written out of nowhere) This isn’t likely to be a one-off just know that I won’t be writing anything like this for a long while. Now this was written over the span of a few weeks and I had no storyline so I apologize if you don’t like that, though If I do get time I might add a bonus chapter giving it a storyline and possibly see where this fic leads. I don’t know, if enough of you like it I will.

Oh and I think that “Do I Wanna Know?” by Arctic Monkeys is a good song to go with this, hence the title. Enjoy.

Do I Wanna Know

The wood creaked beneath our feet as Mac pushed me back through his bedroom door. The heavy scent of apples from the orchards outside getting weaker the further into the room we got. The farm way usually busy with his family working, but they'd all gone to deliver some apples to Appaloosa and needed to take the train ride with the delivery. They originally wanted to take Mac instead of Granny, but she refused to stay at home again, and so he was left here alone for the next few days. A beatification situation for us both, especially at this moment. His mouth was on mine, and had been since we made our way up the stairs passed the others bedrooms. I pulled back to look at him, swallowing to see what was next, normally it was about claiming each other.

I let out a breath, the feel of his skin against mine felt like home. Every time before this was so different, before he was like a stranger, just a body to use but now, now was … right. His hand snaked around my waist while his lips claimed my neck, his tongue striking out against the mark I knew all too well he was making. It was his turn to claim me, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that this wasn’t turning me on. I felt myself sink as he brought us down onto the bed, the cool sheets against the skin I had exposed since our shirts had been removed long before this, I was glad the rest of his family was out of town, they hardly knew of the old relationship we shared. I could only imagine AJ's face at her seeing us like this. His lips began to move higher distracting me from the thoughts, this was new. In the beginning I hadn’t allowed him to kiss me, or at least not kiss my lips, tonight that rule was going to change, I wanted him to kiss me until my lungs screamed for air. My hands tangled themselves in his hair, pulling him closer to me, I parted my lips willing him to claim them, needing them.

His tongue brushed slowly over my lip, he was teasing me now. I wrapped my legs around him, grinding myself against him, two could play at that game, and I refuse to let myself be the looser. I felt him let out a shaky breath over my face, looks like my plan was working. I had no time to prepare before his lips were on mine, claiming them warmly as his hands rubbed circles on my hips, he finger brushing under the waistline of my jeans. I arched myself into his mouth, drawing my tongue along his own in a sweet dance. He licked, bit and sucked at my mouth finding easily what drove me wild, happy to find all three sent my body into a frenzie. I knew I wouldn't be able to control my impulses soon, his body was sculpted for the work he did every day and it was playing me like a well tuned instrument. I was proud my own body was crafted well, the athletic frame I had was like putty in his hands.

He had already found so many of my buttons, knowing exactly when to push them, and how to for that matter. His lips stayed against mine until I felt my chest burning for the air I needed, he must've felt it too pulling away from me to breath as I gasped in deeply to fill my lungs. My fingers rubbed at his scalp as his fingers began to pull the jeans off my legs, I lifted myself up to help him along as we both worked at catching our breath. His hand washed over my thigh as the jeans slipped down my legs, thankfully I hadn’t worn skinny’s, these were loose and meant taking them off was definitely no challenge. I felt the arousal building within me, something else that hadn't happened before now. The other times were just a simple, I used him and he used me, we got off and didn’t speak to each other until the next time we craved a body to use. His touches used to be hard, there was nothing in them, but now I could feel it, i could feel affection. I didn’t know how we got here, but every time we’d meet just to screw it started to change. We began to use each other other than for sex, as a way out. Times I felt alone I would call on him instead of my friends, and he would always answer. Sometimes he’d get angry and call on me to calm him down and I would. Somehow we’d turned our relationship into something different, something that lead us here, all because he said the words I wanted to hear, but I refused to confess.

His lips were on my skin again, dragging up my body in a way that made me moan. I could feel him smiling against me, he must like that sound, he nibbled lightly at me, the sensation of his teeth grazing against me made another moan escape me. His mouth alone was able to me in ways I’d never felt before. I was suddenly aware of his hands again, as they traced patterns along my stomach in a strange pattern made of light brushes from his fingertips to the palm of his hand pushing against me. His trail began to move higher as did his lips before his fingers brushed along my breasts. I hissed in a breath at the contact before he repeated his actions, with every move he makes I tug at his hair. I needed him now, not any of the caressing touches, I needed to feel him, feel us together. I didn't care at this point how much of a cliche that was, I just wanted him now. I knew by now he was waiting for me to beg, his teasing only riling me up in the process, surely all part of some bigger plan he had for me, or for my body at least.

“Please Mac.” I felt myself let out breathlessly, the first words spoken between us since we’d gotten into the room, his name felt sweet on my tongue. I hated begging, I hating having to plead for something or feel weak, but when I was being held by his touch I didn’t feel weak at all, I felt powerful in the way he was making me feel, the way my body reacted to only his touch. His lips washed over my skin as his hands left my body, I knew he was undressing himself as I pushed my bare chest against his own seeking out more contact with him. His body was warm, a warmth that I found comforting in the times when I used him. Maybe that was the start of my downfall, though in this moment I feel glad I put that behind me, that I'm allowing myself to feel. I could feel the walls I build up when this all started slowly start to crumble, and they weren't going to build themselves up any time soon, I even had walls up against the girls, I may be loyal but there sure as hell some things they can't know. This situation with Mac being one of them, though, maybe now could be a good time for us to finally allow ourselves the strength for us to at least tell AJ we were ... something.

I let out a small gasp when his fingers brushed against me, glancing up to see him grinning at me with his freckled face. I knew my arousal would be clear enough when he rubbed his thumbs closer to my core. Instead his hand moved away from there entirely gripping onto my hips to pull me closer our bodies flushed together on the bed. My breaths became quicker as I anticipated his next move, he wasn't going to do it like we used to, no this time he'd take it slow, slow enough that I'd be begging for more, begging for him to send me over the edge.

By now my hands were roaming along his back, scratching him as I tried to hold onto him, preparing myself. His lips were on mine once more, though this time his kiss was sweeter, slower even as I felt him push himself into me. I cried out against him, arching my back to brings self closer to him again. He had one hand on my waist as he thrusted into me slowly, the other on my back holding me in place the fingers brushing against the tattoo I had of wings, it came down from my shoulders almost covering me completely. I was sure my nails had cut his back, bus he must have cared. The slow rhythm was driving me insane, I knew it wouldn't be long before I would have to beg for more, so I tried to increase his speed by moving my hips though he was wrong enough to stop me with just the one hand.

"Uh uh uh my little bluebird, tonight we're taking things slowly, I'm going to draw out every possible scream for more you can make before I give you what you want, and then I'm going to make you scream for a release." I sucked in a breath at his words, he'd never called me anything other than Dashie, he was never one for talking but when he did he had this compelling power over me, though I moaned at them, my body tingling at the thought of what he was going to do. It didn't take long at all before I really was begging him for more, every fiber in my body screamed at me for waiting so long. He smiled against my skin as his mouth moved along my jaw, letting every breathless plea escape my lips before he drove into me. I screamed out as he hit deep within me. The breath leaving my body as my toes curled. Yes, this is what I wanted, what I needed. The passion of his body moving in sync with mine as I let out everything. He knew I wouldn't hold out much longer, as my eyes began to roll into the back of my head.

"Let go for me, let me catch you as you come down from your high." I couldn't refuse, his movements sent me toppling over the edge in ecstasy, my body unable to control itself. I let out a scream as the first real orgasm rocked my body into oblivion, over and over it hit me offering no time for me to get ready for the next wave. I stayed like that for what seemed like eternity, I was floating above the bed in a haze before I let myself regain some form of consciousness. I was breathing heavily as I turned to see him laying beside me, a smile on his face as his hands stroked my skin. Helping me come down slowly with the gentle touch. I offered him my own smile, one that wasn't forced like I had for others, no this was real. His brought his hand to brush his thumb over my cheek before leaning in to kiss my forehead. I welcomed his touch, my eyes closing as I let myself slip into the blissfulness he provided.

I felt the bed move as he left, I wanted to watch where he was going but the strength was lost. I was already missing his warm skin against my own. He returned only to pick me up from the bed, my head lazily resting against his chest. This was all so new, before we'd both be dressing and is leave, but today I didn't want to leave, I don't want to leave him. Even my body wanted to stay, my strength all but lost. My eyes opened quickly when I felt warm water against me, looking to notice he's one to draw a bath for us. He lowered me on and sat behind me, lifting me lean on him for support. His hands began to massage me, his hands were magical I really should have noticed sooner. The warmth of water let my body relax and coupled with the sweetness of his touch I was in a paradise only he would provide. I allowed my head to fall back onto his shoulder my eyes closing as I let myself take more notice to my other surroundings, the soft music playing quietly in the background and the scented candles that soothed me, though I couldn’t tell what the scent was, it was most likely a mixture of a few and they worked so well together. It was all so different from the usual smell of apple's this place had, a smell I was finding much more intoxicating the more time I was spending here behind AJ's back. His hands stopped their motions after they finished rolling along my neck and shoulders, then he turned his head to kiss my cheek.

I let my eyes open to look at him, and take in everything I’d pushed from my mind before now. He had a strong jawline, and I could see the very small amount of gingery stubble growing along it, freckles were dusted along his cheeks and nose, the last think I found staring at were his green eyes. They used to be so blank, emotionless even, but now they were bright as if there was a light inside him burning at an intense rate. I smiled lazily at him, finding my body has lost a battle in trying to gain some strength, I was truly knackered. He brought his hand to my cheek once again, his thumb brushing lightly against my skin as he stared at me, a smile on his own face. He leaned in closer to kiss me softly, nothing like he had before, this was slow and sweet and it didn’t last nearly as long, but I still loved it just as much. My eyes fell closed again, and I nuzzled my head into his neck, my nose resting against him from the closeness, he proceeded to wrap his arms over my stomach, holding me gently before leaning his head slightly onto mine.

We stayed like this for a long while, as I could feel the water getting colder, this was far too peaceful. I was sure if it wasn’t for the water's temperature we would have stayed in our embrace all night. He shifted behind me, moving so that he could get out, as I lowered my head to the back of the bath. I watched him from my hooded eyes, the tiredness taking it’s toll on me, as he moved to dry himself with a towel, before getting another and laying it out next the the side of the bath. He reached for me, pulling my limp arms around his neck so he could lift me from the water, before wrapping the town securely around me. He rubbed me dry, small circular movements of the towel caressing my skin lulling me further into the sleep I felt taking over me. Once I was dry the towel was removed from my body, letting the cool air wash over me and causing goosebumps to break out over my flesh. I shuddered from the cold before he pulled me against him again, carrying me back to the bedroom. He placed me on one of his chairs draping a bathrobe over my shoulders as he went to fix up the bed, even changing the sheets we’d managed to ruin, and pulling down the covers. I took this time to look around his room, seeing the pictures he'd had taken with the other Apple's including the largest one taken from the family reunion, I smiled remembering the sweet cider I'd had that day I looked over at him as he watched me before he came to me once more, moving the warm bathrobe from my shoulder, exposing me again. He held out his hand and helped me get to me feet, walking us back to his bed and letting my fall against the mattress. My body was spent as I tried to roll closer to the middle. I could hear his soft chuckled before he lay in front of me, pulling the duvet over us both before he wrapped his arms around me one more time. I let my head rest against his chest, listening to the soft beats of his heart. I looked up at him as best I could, feeling the sleep taking over my grip on staying awake. He tilted his head to look at me slightly.

“What’s the matter bluebird?” I let out a sheepish smile, his southern accent making the nickname he’d given me sound so much better than Dashie, I’d be sure to kick ass if anybody else tried to call me that. I pulled my head deep into him, letting go of myself as sleep came for me. I was able to say one thing before I went, whispering it softly to him.

“I love you too.”