Fluttershy and her pet Anon

As Anon and Discord laid on the roof of town hall they shared a bottle of chaos whiskey. Well, that was what Discord called it. Anon was pretty sure it was just straight up Kentucky bourbon. His eyes watered, though not entirely from the sweet smoky burn.

Apparently Discord was now like the Superman of Equestria, zipping around putting down any who challenged Celestia’s authority. He was hardly around, which was sad since Anon only recently found out the draconequus spoke perfect English. He could swear his melodious voice almost sounded like that bad guy from the one sci-fi series, the one with the federation fighting rebels. Yup, Discord sounded almost exactly like James Earl Jones.

“Man, we should hang out more!” Anon slurred as he took another sip then handed it back. “I bet we could really mess some stuff up together!”

“You know that’s not my thing anymore, Anon. Little pranks are fun now and again, but I have a reputation to uphold!” The draconequus took a big swig and handed it over. “It wouldn’t do to have Equestria’s greatest champion running around all willy nilly making flowers pop out of pony’s ears!”

“Hmmm, I guess. I mean, I bet that’s really been paying off with the princesses, huh? I see how you are with Celestia, tell me you are hitting that righteous royal flank!” Anon took a sip and stared at his bestest buddy in the world, handing it back.

Discord went silent with thought. He took another big swig, sighed, and then looked Anon in the eyes.

“No, not as much as you think,” he said sadly.

“You are kidding me, Celestia has to want some of the Discord D! You two are perfect for each other! What’s the problem?”

“I’m not sure! It seemed like things were going good, she always laughed and smiled, then all the passion seemed to vanish, right around the time I…” Discord went silent again.

Anon reached over and grabbed the bottle back, taking a big swig. He knew his only bro in Equestria was gonna need him at his best.

“Around the time you started your good guy act?” Anon finished for him, and tossed the empty glass bottle of whiskey off the roof.

The gears turned in Discord’s head. His slightly fuzzy thought process traced back the chain of events as he remembered the old Celestia’s winking smirk, as she laughed at him dunking a pony into a vat of jelly. It was all so clear now. He had lost sight of who he was, the draconequus that Celestia had fallen for. Not this bland goody two shoes he had become.

Anon looked at his pal’s darting eyes as the pieces all clicked into place. He smiled. They were gonna fuck shit up tonight.

“Discord. We have to get to Canterlot right now. We have to create such a freaking mess that the princesses have no choice but to show up. And we are gonna fuck their hot pony asses with the kind of insane, bipedal, opposable thumb sex that only we can give them! But before that, we are gonna need more chaos whiskey!”

With a snap of his fingers, Anon and Discord materialized in the Canterlot courtyard below Luna’s tower. Anon had left his pants on the roof of the town hall, saying he would never need them again. With the love that can only be felt by two guys who each swore a blood oath to get the other laid, Anon ran full tilt and round house kicked a horse statue, smashing it to pieces. Discord lit a tree on fire, his normally thoughtful whimsical humor hampered by the already half empty bottle of bourbon in his lion paw. A light came on as the royal guard poured out of the barracks.

“Come and get me motherfuckers!” Anon roared.

The guards only heard crazy monkey language, since only Discord and Fluttershy could understand him. Their confusion was answered by Discord force pushing the guards away with a motion of his hand.

“The master of chaos is back bitches! And he brought company!”

Lightning poured from his fingers as the guards giggled. He wasn’t a complete asshole, it’s not like he wanted them to writhe in agony. Anon picked up Shining Armor and chucked him into the base of the tower.

“Fuck you Sparkle family!” he yelled as tears streamed from his eyes.

Anon did the five point heart exploding technique on an orange horse with spikey blue hair that tried to help Shining up. The horse fell to the ground and vomited. It didn’t kill the pony, but the pressure points he struck would never allow it to have an erection again. Anon’s tears dried with satisfaction.

Just then there was a terrible shout from above. On the balcony, glowed two immortal, perfect, goddesses. Celestia and Luna surveyed the mess with cold, calculating eyes.

“Discord! Anon! You will be punished for your crimes against Equestria! Royal guards, evacuate and leave this to us!”

Discord leaned over and told Anon what she said. Anon grinned. This was where their cunning plan was gonna work or break. He tried to take another swig, but found his bottle empty again. He threw the stupid defective bottle at the horse shaped rubble in the courtyard, but ended up hitting Shining Armor in the head, shattering it. Anon was pretty sure it was the bottle that shattered, not the head. Fairly sure. He squinted. What was he doing again? Luna blasted him with some sort of magic laser. The force knocked him back 20 feet as he tumbled like a ragdoll.

Celestia and Discord faced off, Sunny D’s face grim with determination.

“I should have known you’d never change Discord! It was only a matter of time before you reverted to your bad boy ways!” She grinned at him.

Discord deflected Celestia’s laser blasts with the palm of his paw. Bad boy? Holy crap, Anon was right. She got off on this. He put one hand behind his back and smiled back at her.

“That’s right Celestia! It takes more than some kind words to change a rogue like me!”

His disembodied arm slapped Celestia on her fantastic ass, then Discord teleported beside her and gave her a big swig of the whiskey. She didn’t cough, she didn’t spit it out. Sun princess downed a quarter of the bottle then smiled back at Discord.

“There’s my bad boy…” she said sexily, and tackled Discord to the ground.

Anon found himself facing off against moon butt. The blast might have hurt a normal pony, but he was bulletproof. Like ideas. Or vests. He took another swig. Wait, didn’t he drink all of it? The bottle in his hand was nearly full. Anon charged at the darkest of blue horses, as he dodged magical blasts left and right. Luna’s concentration broke as she realized Anon was within 21 feet. Bottle of whiskey beats magic lasers within that range. With a leap, he grabbed best princess ever around her neck and tackled her to the ground. Anon managed to funnel the bourbon into the slightly larger small horse’s mouth. The princess managed to swallow it with dignity, then called out to her sister for help.

“Celestia help! We have been restrained and drugged!”

Then she looked over and watched in awe as Discord tentacle raped her sister. Wait, not rape. In between slurps of his many cocks the princess ordered him to violate her further with more dicks.

“Ahh, mmmmm, Discord, you’re gonna need more dicks than that if you wish to subjugate me!” as she bounced up and down on his draconequus cock.

Moon princess blushed, then trembled as she felt Anon rub his hands up and down her flank. He nibbled on her ear as he cupped her mare hood with his palm. There was no direct role play, since they could not understand each other, but for posterity’s sake here is what they said:

“Oh no! You vile beast! How dare you have your way with us?!” Luna purred as she pressed against his cock.

“I’m gonna fuck you so good pretty blue horse!” Anon slurred.

It goes without saying that Anon was very fucking hammered.

Luna cried out in lust as she felt the human’s dick penetrate her tight royal pussy. She laid on her back like some common broodmare as she watched his cock push and pull out of her. Her cute but poorly acted protests were wasted on Anon, but she seemed to enjoy it so it’s cool.

“Oh no, what kind of animal would dare ejaculate in our royal p-p-puussy!” Luna cried out as she came.

Anon followed his cue and filled the princess up with his semen. He continued to pump in and out of her delicious little plot as the pony shuddered and bucked below him. He took a moment to look over at his best buddy Discord. Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. Discord was Eiffel Towering Celestia, with his self. Disembodied dragon cocks rubbed her up and down her body as Discord used her ears like handlebars to drive his cock into her mouth. How the fuck did Celestia manage to look glowy and majestic while covered in draconequus semen? Anon gave Discord the thumbs up as he re-positioned Luna.

Luna found herself rolled onto her stomach. Her breath was ragged, her eyes could barely register the eldritch nightmare happening to her sister. The human lifted her royal rump into the air, her head still on the ground. Then she felt the human drive into her again. It just wasn’t right, there was no way a pony could compete with these two! Luna arched her back and drove her ass back against Anon’s amazing dick. Night princess's plot dribbled with excitement.

Discord and Anon woke up in the royal throne room. The dim morning sun streamed against them. Their heads pounded with a terrible ache. They were both covered in semen. Their eyes locked as they stared at each other with fear and horror. Luckily, a soft whinny broke them from their terror. The two sisters were curled up a short distance away on the floor like little foals. They had stupid cute smiles on their faces and were even more cum stained than they were. With panic they remembered what they had done and ran to the balcony.

The courtyard was fine. No burned trees, no smashed statue, no eunuched Flash Sentry. The princesses must have used their magic to fix it. Deciding it was too freaking early to be up, they both snuggled up against the princesses and went back to sleep. Anon took one last swig and fist bumped Discord before passing out.