A Thousand Years of Regret

by DarkStarZN

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sad, Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4142

On her 1000th anniversary of her rule, Empress Luna reflects on the achievements of the Equus Empire - and reflects on her greatest failure 1000 years ago and why she doesn't deserve any of the love or adoration her subjects give her.

On the one thousandth anniversary of her greatest failure, Empress Luna reflects on the empire she has built. Never has the world been more unified or at peace and it owes it to her Immortal Highness, Empress Luna. The Equus Empire is a testament to the love and adoration her subjects give her.

Yet, in her heart she holds a deep pain and feels that she truly doesn't deserve any of it.

~~~~~

Many thanks to Rated Ponystar for the actual story idea, and many thanks to ward282, MagicKnight55 and metallusionsismagic for proof-reading and editing the story.

Published 2015-07-02 17:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-02 17:10:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Tonight was supposed to be a special night, the thousandth year of the Winter Moon Celebration. All across Equestria and beyond her borders, ponies, griffons, minotaurs and canines alike had spent weeks preparing for this night.

It was the thousandth year of Empress Lunarius Eternium’s reign. All nations under her rule celebrated a thousand years of peace, prosperity and unity. The longest night of the year was solely dedicated to celebrating her rule.

Outside, thousands cheered and partied. Hordes of creatures from all the prime races gathered in celebration. Grand and magnificent banquets were laid out, games and festivities enjoyed by everyone.

Empress Luna strolled through the halls of the castle at a brisk pace. Royal robes adorned her, coloured in deep shades that matched and complimented her coat. A crown lay perched on her head - a simple symbol of her rule. There was still so much to do for the night and the one organising it all was nowhere to be seen.

‘By the stars, where is she?’ Luna thought to herself. The next half hour hinged on the presence of her apprentice. She had already searched her quarters, the throne room and even the kitchens and found no sign of her. The only place she could really be was the library. Using her magic, she threw open the doors to the deep, cavernous area of the castle.

“Aha! I have found you!”

Like a deer in the spotlight, the purple unicorn froze in place. A large tome lay open in front of her, dozens of other books littered on the desks re-arranged to surround her.

“Empress!” she squeaked. “What are you doing here?”

Luna strode in, staying silent as her eyes narrowed. Her magic snatched one of the books, bringing it closer to study carefully.

“‘Celebrations and You: A Guide to Hosting Parties, Banquets, Festivals and Other Celebrations’,” Empress Luna read the title out loud, before raising a critical eyebrow at the unicorn who was positively shrinking under her gaze. “You’re kidding? You’re kidding, right?”

“I - I’m sorry, Empress…” she mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

Empress Luna set the book down gently. The stern look on her face softened as she extended a wing out and gently lifted the unicorn’s chin with her feather tips. “My dear Twilight, I’m not angry or upset,” she said warmly. “I am only concerned that you place too much pressure on yourself. Now come, the ceremonies are about to begin. It wouldn’t behoove the Empress to attend the celebration without the priestess in charge of it all.”

Priestess Twilight Sparkle looked up at her mentor before giving an embarrassed smile. “You’re right - I’m just so nervous, Empress!”

“Please, you can call me Luna. I’ve told you a thousand times already.” The two began to make their way to the main front balcony of the castle. Several of the Vigiliae Noctis stood, ever vigilant for any threats against the Equus Empire. They were an ancient sect, a proud tradition and extension of Luna’s guard tasked with watching over the Empress and ensuring her direct safety.

Empress Luna and Priestess Twilight emerged from the depths of the castle, standing high above tens of thousands of citizens. Luna held an odd sense of pride of her accomplishments.

The full moon hung high overhead. Luna bowed her head, her horn lighting up as a powerful, archaic spell charged up inside it. Releasing her magical energy, she let it rocket towards the lunar orb. It would take a few seconds to arrive, enough time for a speech. She cleared her throat, a thrum of magic elevating her voice to the Royal Tone.

“Citizens of the Equus Empire,” she called out, the cheering crowd suddenly falling to a hushed silence. “Tonight marks the thousandth year of our empire! Tonight marks a thousand years of peace and prosperity.” She waited patiently, silently counting the seconds. A faint smile wanted to tug at her lips, but this night was never meant for her.

A soft and warm light began to wash over the world, a light that filled the soul with hope and cleansed any ills. The moon burned brightly, granting its boon to all who would accept it. “I declare the thousandth Winter Moon Celebration open!” The light pulsed, before giving an almost sun-like glow.

A deafening roar slowly erupted from the crowd, the thousands upon thousands of citizens loudly declaring their joy and love for Luna.

Retreating back into the castle, Twilight followed her. “I’m not sure why I was needed, Empress,” she said after they had moved well clear from the noise of the celebrations outside. “Even if I organised almost everything, the Priestess of the Moon’s job isn’t to be seen - it’s to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“My dear Twilight, I only wished for you to see the fruits of your labour. What you saw out there tonight - that is all your doing. This is by far the largest celebration in my thousand-year reign.” She offered a warm smile to the unicorn which seemed to ease the confused look on her face.

“I understand, Empress,” Twilight said. “The celebrations will be lasting a week - the first time such a thing is happening.”

Luna sighed. “It has been a prosperous thousand years.” She closed her eyes, trying to repress a painful memory. This night was never meant for her. Opening her eyes, she turned to Twilight. “Go, my faithful student. Rest and partake in the festivities. You have earned a break.”

“Are you sure, Empress?” Twilight asked, cocking her head in curiosity.

“Of course.”

Twilight gave a suppressed giggle before setting off down one of the many hallways, an unmistakable bounce in her step. Luna gave a wistful smile after the young priestess. There was still so much the young unicorn had to learn, but her heart swelled with pride each time she saw her.

Luna slowly made her way into the deeper bowels of the castle. It had a name once - one that still brought her great pain remembering it. These days it was only referred to as the Royal Palace, a mandate she had made centuries ago.

She arrived at her destination: a single chamber, hidden by a complex set of spell-patterns inset into the wall guarding it.

The room was sparse. Ancient magics lined the walls, warding away any malicious or curious entities. She shivered, passing through the timelock preserving the chamber and keeping every detail the same as it was a thousand years ago.

A large, glass coffin stood in the center, a set of roses fresh as the day they were laid there resting on top. Some of Equus’ finest scientists would probably kill to get their hooves or claws on them, being a thousand years old.

Kill...Luna loathed that word. Everything about it was poison to her. One of her first mandates as Empress was to abolish the death sentence. Some of the races had protested but eventually caved. Her word was law. Luna had been a firm but fair ruler.

An alabaster white alicorn lay inside the glass, her beauty perfectly preserved in all its essence and purity. A light pink mane lay flatly around her face. It almost looked like she was sleeping and many times Luna had managed to convince herself that was the case.

She took a few, wobbly steps towards the coffin. The white alicorn held a bouquet of Chrysanthemum flowers in her hooves - it had always been her favourite. Their meaning was long lost to Luna in the annals of time and she cursed herself for never finding out.

For a long while, Luna could only stare at the wall opposite her. The coffin was right next to her, but she could never bring herself to face what she had done. Each time it hurt her she had to face the cold fact that what lay in a glass coffin beside her was her fault.

Luna forced her eyes to look down, to take in the features of her elder sister. Nothing had changed...her regal beauty was the same. The faint, sad smile she held during her final moments was still there. A peaceful smile and perhaps still hopeful for a better future.

The blue alicorn’s knees gave out from under her, Luna collapsing onto the floor. Hot tears streamed down her muzzle as she wracked heavy sobs. The Winter Night Celebration had never meant to be for Luna.

A small, shuffling noise broke the Empress out of her haze. Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes trailed up to the entrance of the chamber. Just like before, a purple unicorn froze like a deer. Her wide eyes showed a mixture of fear, curiosity and sympathy.

For a few long and painful moments, Luna realised just how compromising a position she was in. She lay sprawled on the ground, hooves reaching up to the coffin. A quick spell dried her tears and she composed herself, standing up.

“I - I”m sorry Empress,” Priestess Twilight stammered as her ears flattened against her head, the unicorn starting to make a hurried retreat.

“Stop, Twilight,” Luna said softly. The unicorn responded by freezing on the spot, that same deer-in-the-spotlights look on her face. “You are not in trouble.”

“I don’t want to intrude, Empress.”

“Please call me Luna,” she insisted. “The title Empress...wears one down after a while.” A curious frown appeared on Luna’s face. “Although I have to ask: how did you find this place?”

The unicorns ears flattened as a look of pure shame overtook her face. “I - I followed you down, Empress.” Twilight’s ears slowly perked up again as she took a hesitant step back towards Luna. “Emp - Luna, are you alright…?” she asked cautiously.

Luna walked up next to Twilight, pulling the smaller unicorn into a gentle hug with her wing. Twilight tensed up for a moment before relaxing into the hug. “Twilight, you are my most loyal friend, my most devoted priestess and my most faithful student. I cherish every moment I spend with you because it gives me hope that there will always be a better tomorrow.”

“Th - thank you, Luna,” Twilight responded hesitantly, the two still remaining at the entrance of the chamber. “I - I have to ask, what is this room? I’ve never seen it before…?”

The alicorn took a long while to respond. This room held so many painful memories in it and she wasn’t sure she was quite ready to share them yet. Luna bowed her head for a moment before leading Twilight out of the chamber, the magic automatically sealing it behind them. “It is a testament to my failure, a very long time ago.”

Twilight didn’t respond, only offering a further confused look up at the alicorn.

“Come Twilight, I have much explaining I wish to do.” Luna led the young unicorn to a separate room, a quiet study Luna came to often when she needed a private moment to herself. It held similar warding spells as to the previous chamber, however they lacked the same love or care poured into them.

“I’m...not in trouble am I, Empress?” Twilight asked nervously, glancing around the room. Luna had several flashbacks to situations like this in the past, when Twilight was just a filly. Often she had to be called up to her office to be reprimanded like a school-filly.

Luna offered a small smile. “No, Twilight. You are not in trouble.” A flash of magic and the alicorn had summoned a seat for her student. “Please, take a seat.” Twilight very quickly and obediently sat in the cushioned chair. She had a nervous and attentive look on her face.

“Twilight, do you know the purpose of the Winter Moon Celebration?” Luna asked slowly. She wore a neutral look on her face as she leaned forward slightly.

“It is…” Twilight began hesitantly. “It’s a ceremony to celebrate your rule as Empress of the Equus Empire.”

Luna nodded. “You’ve described what the citizens believe the celebration is for.” Her voice took a solemn tone, the sadness behind it well masked by a thousand years of practice. “This night…” she trailed off, the memory of her crime still fresh now as it was a thousand years ago. “This night was never meant for me, young Twilight. It was never meant to celebrate my rule.”

“Empress?” Twilight wore a confused and horrifed look, like the statement just uttered was sheer blasphemy.

Luna took a deep, shuddering breath. Deep emotions she thought long buried were starting to resurface. Then again...they were never really buried - just disguised as something else.

“I created this annual event to remind myself of the greatest failure in my life.” She sighed, brushing away a stray lock of her mane that escaped the cosmic energies flowing through it. Perhaps it would be easier to start from the beginning. “Tell me, Twilight, have you heard of the legend of the Two Sisters?”

History. Hopefully that would rouse the unicorn out of her nervous state. Her head cocked slightly as a slight frown developed on her face. “I...remember reading briefly on it a few years ago,” she replied, the nervousness replaced by a growing confusion and curiosity. “Why?”

“What do you remember of that story, Twilight?” Luna asked.

“I remember that long ago there used to be two Royal Sisters, who ruled side by side. One day, jealous of the elder, the younger sister turned on her and in the process destroyed the elder sister.” Twilight sat for a moment as Luna allowed the words to sink in. Realisation and shock slowly dawned on Twilight’s face, her eyes growing wide. “N - no...that can’t be true; it’s just an old pony’s tale!” she blurted out.

Luna closed her eyes, a lump forming in her throat as a knot closed tightly in her chest. “I’m afraid it is true. I once ruled in peace with my sister, one thousand years ago and in my jealousy I struck her down.”

“Then when you were in that room…?”

Luna nodded. “Every year I force myself to remember the ultimate crime I had committed. I create a focus on the very thing that caused me to murder my own sister.” Her voice began to falter. “Everypony reveled in her day while they shunned my night. In my arrogance I refused to lower the moon - I wanted everypony to see and appreciate its beauty.”

Twilight shook her head vigorously. “But your moon is beautiful, Luna!” she said, her voice strained and desperate.

“My own selfishness for that celestial body caused me to turn against my own flesh and blood.” Luna choked for a moment, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. More tears rolled down her cheeks. “With her death on my hooves I realised the monster I had become. However, it was too late for her. In my grief I preserved her body for all eternity.”

Twilight remained silent. Her own tears streaked down her face as she struggled to take in the information. Empress Luna was her idol, perfect in any way. A stone wall of denial primarily occupied her thoughts as the tale threatened to shatter her worldview. “But...how? You’ve been nothing but kind to your subjects, Empress!”

Luna shook her head. “Ponies can change - indeed, even the darkest and most vile of us can turn over a new leaf if given a second chance.” She rose from her seat, using a wing to motion Twilight to follow. “I wish to show you something, Twilight.”

The unicorn hesitated for a moment, before unsteadily lifting herself out of her seat. She followed Luna, an odd melancholy in Twilight’s step. It took her a moment to catch up but the two made a slow and steady pace. Twilight was scared - Luna could feel it just from the priestess’s sudden wariness.

They made their way back to the chamber. Unsealing the magical locks again, she led Twilight into the room. The young unicorn visibly shivered as the ancient time-magics washed over her hide, accepting this new alien presence.

Luna stood next to the coffin. She held a stony expression. A cold fear tugged at the back of her mind that if she tried to express anything - anything at all, she would simply degrade into an inconsolable mess of grief and sorrow.

Even now, Luna couldn’t do it: she couldn’t bear to look upon her sister. Better the memory of her alive and breathing than the reality of the cold husk that was left behind.

Twilight stepped up to it nervously, each step treading as if she were on glass. Beads of sweat hung on her brow as she peered into the glass coffin.

A mix of emotions coursed through Luna as she watched Twilight’s expression shift from nervousness to wonder to curiosity and finally to awe. “She’s...beautiful, Empress.”

“She was always the more beautiful of the two of us.”

Luna saw Twilight bite her lip, busy stifling the automatic blurt of praise. Another burst of confused emotions welled up in the alicorn. Over the centuries she had become used to the constant praise; she was a goddess to the citizens of her empire. Twilight wanted to sing unconditional praise but Luna knew in doing so, Twilight would contradict her empress.

Twilight continued to study the coffin and Luna’s sister with a wondrous curiosity Luna often found beautiful. She began to circle the coffin, eyes darting left and right as if studying a leaf perfectly preserved in the pages of time.

“Do you know what my first mandate as Empress was, Twilight?” Luna asked suddenly. Twilight yelped, snapped out of her concentration abruptly. Luna suppressed a giggle at the wide-eyed look Twilight gave.

“No, Empress, I don’t,” the unicorn admitted, a sheepish look coming over her face.

“My first mandate, almost one thousand years ago, was to abolish the death sentence. Even if your crime were so severe as to take the life of another, they would always be given a second chance to atone.” Luna tilted her head slightly, recalling an old memory. “The griffons and minotaurs were opposed to it at first, but eventually they saw my way.”

Twilight looked back down at the coffin. Luna could see a question on her face, one the young unicorn didn’t dare to ask in fear of offending her idol and teacher.

“Twilight…” Luna breathed, reaching down and nuzzling her student. “You can share anything with me. Come - I see you wish to say something.”

Twilight fidgeted nervously for a brief moment. “I’m sorry, Empress, I just...I was just wondering what kind of an empire you could have built together…”

Luna smiled. It was sad and full of pain as that exact question had run through her mind thousands of times. But...she was hopeful for the future of her citizens. With people like Twilight, the empire would thrive. “I built this empire for my sister. I built everything in her name, as penance for my sins.”

Luna clenched her eyes, a lump forming in her throat. Tears welled up, threatening to spill down her cheeks. “I would give up anything to see her open her eyes again, Twilight,” she choked. “I would give up everything I have achieved just to see her alive again. To see her smile that only an older sister could give. I’d say I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything I had ever done wrong.”

The alicorn fell to the ground, unable to contain her tears. She sobbed loudly, Twilight glancing around nervously at the crumpled heap of a pony in front of her. Hesitantly, she reached a hoof across Luna’s shoulders and pulled her gingerly into a hug.

“I’d tell her I’m sorry for being jealous of her glorious day,” she continued to cry. “And that I’m sorry for never eating my alfalfa and never listening to her.” She looked up at Twilight, her eyes red and puffy from the crying. “I - I want to see my sister again and be that naive young Princess again, Twilight. I - I just want…” she broke down, burying her face into the unicorn’s mane, leaving Twilight in a very confused state.

Empress Luna: her mentor and idol, and the god-figure of the Equus Empire was a crying sobbing heap. One part of her mind was completely mortified that such a divine figure could act like any other person she knew, yet another part just saw another pony in pain. Overriding her fear, she gently stroked her mentor..

“I w - want to just tell Celestia I’m sorry and that I love her. I’ve always loved her and that I miss her so much, Twilight…”

Twilight couldn’t think of anything to say. She continued to comfort the crying alicorn with soft cooing sounds and a gentle touch. She didn’t even know when she had started crying herself. Tears flowed freely and she tried to swallow the dryness in her throat.

They had lost track of how much time they had spent down there, in an odd embrace. Luna’s tears had finally dried, but her voice was still raspy and broken. She straightened herself up, a quick spell removing all the stains the tears had left.

“I’m...sorry, Twilight,” Luna said. “It is not becoming of an Empress to weep openly like that.”

“Empress…” Twilight leaned in and hugged her mentor tightly. “It’s okay. I - I know you must miss her, but I’m sure Celestia is proud of what you’ve done. No one could ever think to have built such a lasting peace.”

Luna remained silent for a few moments, before bowing her head down and touching her cheek lightly to Twilight’s. “It is a lonely rule. I sit upon my throne and watch my friends and subjects pass.” Luna pulled back up, heaving a sad sigh. “It would be nice to have someone to share the throne with me.”

Twilight hesitated but gently pulled the taller alicorn into a hug. “I’m sure everything will be okay, Luna…” she comforted.

Empress Luna looked back at Twilight. The young Priestess had represented everything she hoped to achieve. She was loyal, gifted, kind and sharing with those around her. She proved to be the best kind of student - one that absorbed all forms of knowledge like a sponge.

There was hope for the future, even if it was a lonely rule. Twilight was proof of this - the young unicorn had been the most ambitious she had ever met.

“I know, Twilight,” Luna said, a genuine smile creeping over her face. “I have hope for the future because it will be ponies like you who lead it.”

Twilight blushed, rubbing the back of her neck as she looked away sheepishly. “Th - thank you, Empress.”

Empress Lunarius Eternium led Twilight out of the chamber, the magical interlocks automatically sealing behind them. “Twilight, I have an assignment for you.”

Her ears perked up as she turned to her mentor. That expression that Luna loved so much adorned Twilight’s face: curiosity. It was the face that had first led her take on the young unicorn as an apprentice and the same expression that led Luna to make Twilight the High Priestess of the Moon.

“Yes, Empress?” she asked.

“There is a small village near the outskirts of the Canter Mountain region,” she began, the two walking back upstairs towards the celebration above. The location was important to Luna; Celestia had once dreamed of building a city in the mountain, but Luna could never bring herself to realise her sister’s dream. “It is a quaint place, simple in its day-to-day functioning.”

“What would you have me do, Empress?” Twilght asked.

“I wish to assign you to the village - I plan on hosting the next Winter Moon Celebration there and I believe it would be best if my High Priestess personally assisted with the planning.”

“Of course, Empress!” Twilight said, before slowing her pace as a confused look came over her face. “But...it is still a year away, why would you need me there so soon?”

Luna stopped, smiling knowingly at Twilight. “Because I see great potential in the village, just like I saw potential in you.”

Twilight blushed again before nodding. “Of course, Empress, I’ll happily take on the task. If I may, what is the name of the village?”

“Ponyville.”

There was a marked silence as the two continued their way to the celebration proper.

“Oh, and Twilight?”

“Yes, Empress?”

“Make some friends.”

Author's Note

I've had this written for months, but I wanted to sit on it and make sure I was 100% happy with everything before publishing it.

As always, comments and suggestions are welcome - and I hope you enjoyed it! :twilightsheepish: