Life is Beautiful

Twilight stared at herself in the mirror, frowning at the dark bags under her eyes, before she sighed, lowering her gaze as she returned to running the brush through her hair, her eyes drifting to the empty pouch lying besides the vanity mirror. It had been a week since the contents had run out… a pinch of dried leaves, and that was all she needed.

But it hadn’t been going so far lately. Another heavy sigh slipped from her lips as she set the brush down again, turning and heading for the bed, looking at the empty basket at the foot of her bed with a heavy heart. Spike had moved out a few months ago, not long after… After my brother’s funeral, Twilight made herself finish. He had been outgrowing the little basket anyways, now he was staying with Rarity… it seemed like everyone was moving on with their life but her.

Twilight climbed into her bed, a violet glow pulling the blankets up over herself for a moment as she looked out the window at Luna’s moon, another waning crescent, a ghost of light hanging above the clouds over the Everfree Forest… just like…

Twilight closed her eyes and turned away, a tear of pain sliding down her muzzle, and laid her head down on her pillow. She knew that she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, but she needed to try, she could catch the early train to Canterlot in the morning… it was a pretense to go there to visit Cadance and her daughter, and their new foal, but Twilight had other plans.

***

The sun wasn’t even rising yet, the glow just beginning to color the horizon when Twilight let out a low groan, her eyes red as she lifted her head from her pillow, and shook the blankets off. Slipping out of bed, Twilight went to the mirror, a glow from her horn illimunating her face as she used her magic to pick up her brush again, and returned to brushing her hair.

It wasn’t twenty minutes later when Twilight was trotting out of the house, having neglected breakfast, and with a pair of saddlebags draped over her flank as she headed through the slowly awakening town of Ponyville. The train wasn’t due for another half hour, but the lavender unicorn was anxious to be off.

Finding herself a few minutes later at an empty train station, Twilight frowned around, her ears laid back a bit in annoyance, glaring at the sun and trying through force of will to make it rise faster, before she sighed, and looked back to her bags, her magic opening one of the flaps, and starting to withdraw a book-

“TWILIGHT!”

Twilight let out a yelp and leapt into the air, the contents of the pack flying out into the air, and clattering down around Twilight, the book she had been trying to retrieve landing open on her head, a bookmark fluttering out and to the ground.

“Oops, sorry Twilight,” came a softer voice as Spike walked towards the lavender unicorn, who was shaking for a moment before a purple glow surrounded her horn and the book on her head, giving Spike a bit of a glare.

“What are you doing up this early?” Twilight asked, glancing around at the mess before sighing, and frowning at the bookmark on the ground… her attention turning to the book as she started to flip through the book to find her place.

“Pinkie Pie said that she saw you heading for the train station while I was picking up breakfast for Rarity, that’s your forth visit in the past two months Twilight, even for you that’s a lot.”

“I’m going to go see Cadance,” Twilight lied… she had gotten good at it in the past months, finding her place, and putting the bookmark in her book again, “how are things with Rarity?”

“its fine, its more you that I am worried about Twilight… have you been sleeping?” Spike asked as he started picking up some of the other items that had fallen out of the unicorn’s bag.

Twilight sighed, and lowered her head, her magic slipping the book back into the bag again, and starting to gather up some of the other items, grabbing what Spike had and stuffing it into her bag, which surprised Spike, “no Spike, I’m not.”

“is it still..?”

“Yes it’s still Spike!” Twilight snapped in irritation, as she glared at spike, then immediately regretted it, wincing as she looked away.

Spike was more than a little taken aback by that, blinking, before his brow furrowing, “it’s been four months since…”

“I know how long it’s been Spike,” Twilight replied, her voice softer, tinged with sadness.

“Don’t you think that it’s been a bit too long to still be mourning him? I know you-“

“Spike! Have you ever lost someone like that?” Twilight’s head swinging back towards the young dragon, her eyes narrowed, “how do you know how long it takes to get over something like that?”

“I’m… I’m sorry Twilight, maybe you should talk with someone about it? You just always seem to bottle everything up, we are really worried about you,” Spike said with a lot of concern for his oldest friend.

“I’m fine Spike… you worry too much, I just have trouble sleeping sometimes, it comes and goes, I’ll be fine… I just really want to see Cadance and the foals again,” Twilight lied again, looking away, and down the tracks.

“Well… alright, if you say so Twilight,” he said a little doubtfully, “have you eaten? You look like you’ve lost a bit of-“

“Spike! I’m fine! I’ll get something on the train… won’t Rarity be wanting her breakfast sometime soon Spike?”

“Oh! Right! I almost forgot! You have a safe trip Twilight, I’ll see you when you get back, and I’ll keep an eye on the library while you are gone.”

Twilight gave Spike a genuine smile, “Thanks Spike, you’ve always been my best…” her smiled faltered for a moment, my best friend? No… hes… gone. “My best little helper, thank you Spike, I’ll see you in a few days.”

Spike noticed the haunted look, and was really rather worried, but he let it go this time, knowing Twilight really wasn’t ready to talk about it yet, so he offered her an encouraging, if a bit toothy smile, and turned, heading back to Sugarcube Corner.

***

Twilight found Twilight Sparkle making her way through the city, saddlebags draped across her back, empty right then except for her coin pouch, her mind wandering back to the day, half of it spent on the train ride, and the rest of it in the apartments at the palace where Cadance and her foals were staying.

A smile slipped across Twilight’s lips, remembering the sound of Heart Song’s voice singing, and of watching her play with her little brother, a golden furred pegasus foal that Cadance had named Gleaming Shield. The mischief those two got into only brought back memories however… so close, like two peas in a pod, they did everything together. The memory clouded Twilight’s smile, which slipped off of her face, the hole in her heart throbbing and sending a wave of agony through her body that made her stop and shiver, a tear tracing down her cheek before Twilight shook her head, and ran the back of her arm over her face to brush it away, sniffling a moment before trotting on.

Cadance had fussed over Twilight’s condition for the better part of the day, and had a big lunch and an even larger dinner delivered from the palace kitchens for them, leaving Twilight feeling stuffed all day. Twilight had finally had to beg off that she was growing tired as the sun began to set, anxious to get out and visit Hot Shot.

The moon was slowly peeking over the horizon, but its light was hidden by the deep shadows cast by the tall buildings as Twilight trotted down the road, turning off on a side street which led to a darker part of the city when a swirl of shadows in front of Twilight seemed to slip across the street, causing her to pause, ears back for a moment, before rising, “Hello Shadow,” she said conversationally.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you back in the city this soon, come to visit your coltfriend again?” the black unicorn stallion asked in an almost hissing, teasing voice.

Twilight colored a bit at that, and glared In annoyance at the stallion, before lifting her nose and moving to trot on, “he is -not- my Coltfriend,” she declared, “I just have some business to take care of.”

Shadow chuckled, raising a hoof as if to ward off the glare, “alright alright, just stay away from Dozer, he is still a bit pissed over your last encounter,” turning to start trotting away himself.

Twilight paused at that, “is Bull alright? He had it coming, but I didn’t really want to hurt him,” a little concern in her voice.

“Bull Dozer is fine, you only hurt his pride, being tossed around like a little filly like you… but you are right, he did ask for it, just give him some more time to cool off,” came the reply from the shadows as the black unicorn about vanished again.

Twilight nodded and sighed, you can’t make friends with -all- ponies, despite what Pinkie thinks, she thought to herself, before she turned and trotted off again.

***

A few minutes later found Twilight climbing the stairs of a fairly run down looking apartment complex until she was standing in front of apartment 306, looking at the plain brown door and faded gold painted letters for a moment, before she lifted a hoof and knocked on the door.

“One moment!” came the muffled voice of the stallion inside, and Twilight could hear the sounds of hooves on the other side for a moment, waiting, before there was the sound of numerous locks sliding open before the door opened, and the smiling stallion looked down at Twilight as he stepped back.

The first thing that caught Twilight’s attention, like always, were those gorgeous golden eyes, before she took in the rest of him, the golden mane, and the strong muscles of his wings, and legs, and white fur, his voice strong, “please, come in, I wasn’t expecting you back for another few weeks, was there something wrong with what I gave you?”

Twilight snapped back to reality at the sound of his voice, coloring a little, though she tried to hide it as she ducked her head a little, “No… I mean yes!” a little flustered as she stepped past the stallion into his apartment, glancing around at what looked like a meeting room, a couch, table, everything fairly simple and ordinary looking, though the smell of herbs and incense hung fairly heavily in the air.

Hot Shot closed the door behind Twilight, doing up a number of the locks again before turning around to frown at Twilight, “oh? And what was wrong with it? Do I need to have a word with my supplier?”

Twilight shrugged, “I… I’m not sure, it just didn’t seem as… potent as it normally was; I had to use more to get to sleep.”

Those golden eyes considered Twilight a moment, “have you been using it… every night to sleep? I have heard some complaints about over use can lead to becoming resistant to its effects.”

Twilight’s ears laid back at that, looking away, “I haven’t been able to sleep without it,” she looked back to the stallion, “is… is there something else I could buy? Something stronger?”

Hot Shot was silent for a moment as he considered, and turned, moving to another room, “I’m not sure… you know, not everything I sell is as innocuous as some ground sleeping roots… I do have something, but it’s more expensive… and I’m afraid to say there are some side effects, it’s not exactly… approved medicine.”

Twilight slowly stepped after the stallion, her ears perked, “I haven’t slept in days! I’m willing to try anything, how bad could it be?”

“Well… I don’t know…”

“Please! How much is it? I’ll pay it, I brought the bits.”

Hot Shot sighed, “very well, this is hard to acquire, so it’ll be about three hundred bits for enough to last another month,” taking a pouch out of the cabinet he had been rooting through, and turned, heading back to the front room, making Twilight have to backpedal to get out of his way.

“three… three hundred?” Twilight asked, as that was most of her stipend.

“well, you can make it last longer if you use it sparingly,” Hot Shot said, placing the pouch down on the table, and looking to Twilight, “it’s called Moon Sugar, it’s said to be the stuff dreams are made of… just a few grains underneath the tongue before you go to sleep, and you’ll have the sweetest dreams…”

Twilight’s looked to the pouch curiously, ears perked as she stepped closer to the table, “I’ve read about it,” good old Super Naturals, she thought to herself, “said to grow where the tears of the Mare in the Moon fell when she was first imprisoned, it can only be harvested under the light of a full moon.”

Hot Shot nodded and flashed Twilight a grin that almost made her knees go week, “you are rather well read, not many know about it, I’m impressed.”

Twilight blushed a little at that, “I like to know as much as I can about everything,” scuffing her foot on the ground a bit, Maybe Shadow was right, she thought to herself, but turned her head to her saddle bags, opening a flap with her magic, and levitating out a few pouches of bits, “I had been hoping to buy a few months supply of sleeping root, but this should cover the Moon Sugar,” as she set them down on the table.

Hot Shot nodded, trusting Twilight to not short change him, as they had a very amiable relationship since their first encounter, “then it’s all yours Twilight Sparkle, though it Is getting late, it wouldn’t be seemly for a young mare like yourself to be seen leaving the home of an apartment like me any later, hmm?”

Color flashed across Twilight’s cheeks again as she studiously focused on the pouch of Moon Sugar for a moment, levitating it and stuffing it into her saddle bag, “I… guess not, thank you.”

“It was a pleasure doing business with you, and I’ll try to make sure I have something for you when you visit next month. Remember, this stuff is considered a little illegal to possess, so just… keep it under wraps, mmm? And you didn’t get it from me.”

Twilight giggled softly, “ofcourse, just like the sleeping root, mmm?” she nodded as Hot Shot escorted her to the door, opening it for her as she stepped out, “I’ll see you in a month.”

Hot Shot flashed her another smile before closing the door, the sounds of locks clicking as the stallion locked up for the night dimly heard as Twilight started to head back down to the street so she could head back to the castle.

***

It was close to midnight when Twilight finally made it back to her guest room at the palace, the one she had used when she was just a filly… it still looked just the same as always. Twilight’s magic lifted the saddle bags and put them near the vanity, opening a pouch and taking out the pouch of Moon Sugar as she sat on the chair. Setting the pouch down on the counter, she lifted the brush, and worked it through her mane for a bit, her thoughts drifting to that golden eyed stallion.

Twilight lost track of time for a bit, her eyes slowly sliding closed, and the brush slipping from her grip, dropping with a soft thud to the carpeted floor.

“Little sister, what are you doing?” Shining Armor asked, causing Twilight to look up from her books with a perplexed look.

“I’m reading Big Brother, what does it look like?” Twilight asked.

“No you aren’t, look!”

Twilight blinked at the book she had been reading, glimmering grains of Moon Sugar scattered across the pages that were turning black, golden eyes staring back at her from the starlit depths as hooves reached up to grab her hooves, and started pulling her into the book, as Shining Armor tried to grab her, calling after her as she fell into the glittering void, “Twiliiiiii!”

“Shining!” Twilight yelled with a start as she jerked awake, yelping and falling backwards off of her stool with a thud. She slowly rolled to her side with a groan, shaking her head to try and push away the dream, “I’m sorry Big Brother, you aren’t here to save me anymore…”

She looked to the pouch of Moon Sugar… she knew more about the dangerous effects of it than she had let on… her analytical mind weighing the risks, the costs, hallucinations, addiction, altered brain function, personality shifts, heavy withdrawl symptoms after prolonged use… but I’ll be able to sleep. And she needed sleep… sleep without remembering her brother…

Twilight used her magic to open the pouch, and floated a few grains of the glittering Moon Sugar into her open mouth, placing them beneath her tongue and closing her mouth, before closing the pouch, and hiding it away in her saddle bags.

The rush of euphoria was almost instant, staggering the weary pony as her eyes rolled in her head, a shiver of pleasure washing over her as she staggered over to her bed, slowly climbing into it as the euphoria washed away the pain and heartache, her eyes sliding closed as she laid her head down, surrendering to the feelings of peace and harmony that flowed over her.

Authors Notes:

I suck at titles, I've got titles i can use for other chapters, but i couldn't think of a good one for this chapter... its a lame title... sigh

I'm not sure how many chapters this while thing is going to be, but i'm trying to take it slow, rather than just... dive in to the meat of things... stories need a build up, slow steps as we travel down. We might start seeing some of the bad stuff late next chapter, but by chapter 4 at the latest if things go according to the nonexistent plan in my head.

I should be focusing on studying, i've got finals this week, and between writing, and diablo 3, i'm not studying enough... I have a VERY bad tendency to become obsessive about some things, especially when it comes to writing... i can't write without inspiration, but when i suddenly find that inspiration... i can't stop until i'm done.

I already know how this story will end, and i'm hoping to make it last 6 chapters, maybe 7 or 8 depending, and i hope it turns out as well as i want it to.