Pinkie Pie's Love-Struck Birthday
Rainbow Dash shot towards the ground like lightning, at what was quite possibly her top speed. Right before her nose hit the dirt, she rose up and planted her hooves expertly and gently onto the ground. A perfect landing. She looked around with an eager smile, and was slightly disappointed when she realized that there was nopony around to notice. She let out a sort of grumble, then proceeded through the doors of Sugar Cube Corner.
The intoxicating aromas of the bakery were almost enough to cause Rainbow Dash to forgot why she had come in the first place. The air was heavy with the scent of pies and cakes and cookies, so aromatic that Rainbow had to physically tear herself away from the counter. There would be time for sweets later, she told herself. Now was the time for Pinkie.
RD made her way up the winding stairs of the bakery, grinning with excitement all the while. This was a once in a lifetime opportunity! After years of friendship, and hundreds of perfect parties thrown by Pinkie, Rainbow finally was able to repay the favor. It didn’t much matter that Pinkie could’ve easily done it herself; She was allowing Rainbow to help, which was something Dash vowed to do.
Dash tried to pull open the door to find that it wouldn’t budge. Pinkie never, ever locked her door (she saw it as rude), so this was a bizarre change. Not knowing what else to do, Rainbow Dash did the obvious thing and knocked. She heard a multitude of noises on the other side: sniffling, paper rustling, hoofsteps, then the clicking of the lock. The door swung open, and a slightly disheveled Pinkie Pie stood in its place. Her mane was significantly deflated and limp, and it was a slightly darker shade of pink than normal. Her ears were flat against her head, and her face made it clear that she had been crying recently.
Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash noticed none of that.
“Hey, hey!” said RD excitedly, hugging Pinkie. “How’s it going today, Birthday girl? Write out all the stuff you want yet?”
“What?” asked Pinkie. Then, she seemed to just snap back to reality. “Oh, no, not yet. I’m still thinking, I guess.”
“Pinkie! How do you expect me to plan this party if I don’t have the presents?” asked Rainbow Dash. “You must have some sort of clue of what you’d like.” Pinkie racked her brain for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders.
“Not really,” said Pinkie. “I told you, I’ve never really got presents on my birthday. Back on the farm, Ma and Pa didn’t really have the money for it.”
“That’s just another reason your list should stretch from here to Canterlot!” exclaimed Rainbow. “Come on, now. There must be something!” Truth be told, there was something that Pinkie wanted. Trouble was, it was so madly impossible that she didn’t bother sharing it.
“Okay, we’ll deal with presents later, then,” said Rainbow, only now noticing how off-kilter Pinkie Pie seemed. “What about guests? You got anypony from out of town you wanna invite?”
It was that moment that Pinkie decided to cry again. It wasn’t violent or explosive, like the few other times Dash had seen her cry. This was a more gentle, deep crying. Rainbow didn’t know what to do at first, and just stared at the display for a few moments before she kicked into Best Friend Mode.
“Pinkie?” said Rainbow gently. “What’s the matter?” Pinkie didn’t say anything. She just silently trotted into her room, collapsing in the middle of the floor where Rainbow soon joined her.
“Pinkie, I need you to talk to me,” said Rainbow. “What happened? Why are you crying?” Pinkie shuddered for a second, but eventually managed to calm herself down enough to speak.
“I’m s-sorry,” she said. “I’m better now.” Pinkie shook herself forcefully, as if she could shake the bad feelings out.
“You need anything?” asked Dash. “Water? Tea? You name it, I’ll get it.” Pinkie shook her head, but that didn’t stop Rainbow from flying downstairs and returning with a tall glass of cold water.
“Thank you,” said Pinkie, taking a sip. The water was quite refreshing, and it did make her feel at least a little better.
“Better?” asked Dash. Pinkie nodded. “Good. Now, spill it. What’s the matter?”
“Everything… Everything is the matter,” sighed Pinkie. “Actually, no. Only one thing is the matter. Wait, that’s not right, either. There are three things the matter? No, there are three kinds of matter. So… everything is matter! Except… energy, I think is what that guy said on the TV...” Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow in disapproval, but decided to let it slide. Just this once.
“Okay, everything is matter, except energy,” said Rainbow. “Mind answering my question? And please try to make sense this time.” Pinkie sighed, then reached under her bed and pulled out over a dozen letters.
“Sorry,” said Pinkie. “What’s wrong is that my coltfriend won’t be able to make it for my birthday.”
Rainbow Dash looked as if she was hit over the top of the head with a vase. At the word “coltfriend”, her brain shut down momentarily, and she tried to piece together reality.
“Wait, wait, what?” said Rainbow Dash. “Coltfriend?”
“Yeah. My coltfriend,” said Pinkie.
“Since when did you have a coltfriend?!”
“Since Cheese came to town,” said Pinkie. “You didn’t know? We got together after your birthday.”
“Pinkie! You can’t just do something that big and not tell us!” shrieked Rainbow excitedly. “That’s totally awesome! How could you not tell us this totally awesome thing?!” Pinkie shrugged, rolling over to her back so that she could look at the sky.
“I thought you knew,” said Pinkie flatly. “It never really came up, since he’s been travelling so much. He was supposed to be here in two weeks for my birthday, but I just got his letter saying that he won’t be able to make it."
"Then what?" asked Rainbow Dash. Pinkie tilted her head in confusion.
"Then... I started crying," said Pinkie. "And you knocked on my door, and I opened it, and you asked about presents, and I said I didn't know, and you asked about guests, and I started crying again, and-"
"Right, I get it," said Dash. “But… I don’t get it. Yeah, it kinda sucks that Cheese can’t be here, but why are you crying?” Pinkie Pie was incredulous, at the fact that she knew what the word “incredulous” meant, as well as Rainbow’s own confusion.
“Cause he’s my coltfriend,” said Pinkie. “And he’s supposed to be here for a big moment like this. I’m turning 21 years old, for pete’s sake!” Rainbow Dash, who just seemed to notice the letters in Pinkie’s hoof, reached for them, just to have them snatched away by the owner.
“What? I wanna see,” said Rainbow.
“Rainbow! You can’t just read the letters Cheesie writes me!” said Pinkie, clutching the letters to her chest. “They’re private.” Rainbow Dash, who was never really the most tactful pony in Equestria, couldn’t discern a reason for that.
“Why?” she asked. Pinkie, who normally was on the giving end of confusing questions, was brought out of her element and baffled by her best friend.
“Because, Dash!” exclaimed Pinkie, a little perturbed that she even had to explain it. “Cheesie wrote these for me, and they’re meant for my eyes alone. He might’ve written some stuff that he doesn’t necessarily want anypony else to see.” Rainbow’s eyes widened, and then it all made sense.
“Ooooh, I get ya, Naughty Pie,” said Dash, winking slyly. “Should’ve just said that it was for your ‘late-night reading’.”
“That’s not what I meant,” said Pinkie, rolling her eyes. “It’s like… Imagine I went out and bought you a pop.”
“I don’t drink soda,” said Rainbow, apparently ignorant to the concept of metaphor. “I crash really hard on caffeine.”
“Okay, fine. You don’t drink pop,” said Pinkie. “Let’s say I went out and got you a cup of cider-”
“Now you’re talking!”
“Then, I take the cup of cider, and let Twilight take a sip. Then I let Spike take a sip. Then I take a sip,” said Pinkie. “Then I give it to you. How would you feel about that?”
“First off, I can’t believe you drank off of Spike,” said Rainbow. “That’s pretty gross. Second, I’d be kinda bummed, cause now there’s less cider for me!” Pinkie nodded in agreement.
“Exactly. And that’s exactly how I’d feel if you read these letters,” said Pinkie. “It feels like you’re taking something from me, and that’s not really fair.”
Rainbow Dash nodded, finally understanding. Even still, she desperately wanted to see what the letters contained. For as long as Rainbow had known her, Pinkie had been single. It wasn’t even clear if Pinkie liked stallions (a rumor flew around for a long time that she and Fluttershy were an item. The rumor had no legs to stand on). Rainbow didn’t know that Pinkie was capable of upholding a romantic relationship of any kind, least of all a long distance one.
“Pinkie, can I ask you something?” asked Rainbow. Pinkie nodded. “Why are you with Cheese? I mean, since he’s been in town a total of once, I don’t get how you two are a thing.” To Rainbow’s surprise, Pinkie laughed. Not a laugh in her usual way, but a sort of older, more mature laugh. This wasn’t Pinkie laughing at something funny; This was her laughing out of reflex, in response to the naivety of the question.
“You’ve never been in love before, have you?” asked Pinkie. “Just because I don’t get to see him very much doesn’t make our relationship any less than a couple who get to see each other every day.”
“But… You barely know the guy,” argued Rainbow Dash.
“No, I barely knew the guy,” corrected Pinkie. “Then we started talking. Now, I know him as well as any two ponies can know each other. It doesn’t matter that I don’t get to see him, because I love him and he loves me.” Rainbow Dash scratched her head, still not entirely convinced.
“But… how can you two be in love if you never see each other?” asked Rainbow. “Don’t you need to be able to talk and… do stuff? In order to be in love?”
“Do stuff?” Now it wa Pinkie’s turn to be confused. “What kind of stuff?”
“You know… Stuff-stuff,” said Rainbow evasively. Pinkie wore a blank gaze, and it was clear that she had no clue what “stuff-stuff” was. “Pinkie, do you know where babies come from?”
“It’s not always about making babies!” said Pinkie. “You can have love without making it, cause it’s not about physical attraction.”
“Then what is it about?” asked Rainbow.
What Rainbow Dash didn’t understand, and what Pinkie struggled to put into words, was that it was about the love, true love. True love was as far from physical as possible. It was about two ponies who understood each other wholly, who felt each other’s pain as if it were their own, and who help each other grow. Love isn’t about physical features, rather, a bond of two becoming so powerful that neither is willing or able to live without the other.
“Perfect!” said Pinkie. “Exactly what the narrator said, about understanding, and feeling each other’s pain, and growing together! That’s what love is all about.” Rainbow Dash didn’t say anything, and it appeared that she hadn’t been listening at all. Pinkie Pie hung her head and sighed.
“Dash, not to sound rude,” said Pinkie flatly. “But can you please leave me alone? I just wanna be alone for a while.”
Rainbow Dash looked at her friend for a moment, then nodded and slowly exited the room. She closed the door behind her, and felt as if a part of her soul died when she heard Pinkie’s sorrowed sob through the door. And Rainbow Dash, never one to sit there and let her friends suffer, decided to do something about it.
Two weeks later
Pinkie Pie tried really hard to be excited for her birthday, she really did. She knew that she should be grateful for all the good things that happened to her. The Cakes surprised her with breakfast in bed that consisted of a beautiful display waffles, pancakes, and lots of ice cream arranged in the shape of Pinkie’s head, which was as thoughtful as it was pain-stakingly crafted and delicious.
After breakfast, Pinkie was slated to be taken around to all her favorite places by all her favorite ponies (which was, to say, everypony in Ponyville). She was supposed to go out into the woods with Fluttershy, and spend time reading with Twilight, and then there was the party that Rainbow was arranging, all of which was to end with a big dinner with all of her friends, not to mention the fact that Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance were scheduled to make an appearance. All things considered, Pinkie’s birthday was perfect. Except for one major flaw.
It was sort of bizarre, actually, how much Pinkie’s day was marred by the absence of Cheese. Last year, Pinkie hadn’t even known Cheese Sandwich existed,and now, her special day was all but ruined without him being there. Still, she tried to enjoy herself as much as possible.
After breakfast, Pinkie was able to make all of three steps out of her front door before she was grabbed up by four of her five best friends. She smiled madly, though she noticed that Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be found. Her friends promised her that Rainbow Dash would be there soon, that she had a few final touches to put on the massive party she planned. Pinkie could certainly sympathize with that, given all the parties she’d thrown on her own time. It could be very time consuming.
Pinkie had a great wealth of fun, even though a part of the day was definitely dampened by the two absentees. Pinkie was sure that Rainbow Dash would join the group by lunch, but even as it was nearing the time for the actual party outside of Sugarcube Corner, the honorary party pegasus was nowhere to be found. Pinkie shrugged, thinking that she would be there soon enough.
And then, as the sun began to set, it was time for the party, and Pinkie was led back to Sugarcube Corner by her friends. Pinkie, who had organized a similar layout for Rainbow Dash’s birth-iversary, but it was still an amazing thing to see how quickly an average marketplace could change into a massive party.
Near the “back” of the marketplace was the massive stage, with a large banner of Pinkie’s face spreading out across the top. Crowding around the stage was a veritable sea of Ponyvillians, each of them to wish the special girl a happy birthday. Belting the swarm of party-goers were many tables, some containing snacks and some containing presents for Ponyville’s resident party planner. Appropriately, Pinkie’s cake stood on its own table just in front of Sugarcube Corner, the massive confection standing at least twice as tall as the mare it was meant for. Pinkie couldn’t help but smile, not only at the amount of presents she would receive or the insane amount of cake she’d be eating, but also at the many friends who had shown up. Unfortunately, Rainbow Dash was still nowhere to be seen.
“Dang it, Derpy! You’re gonna drop it!”
Pinkie craned her head in search of the voice, but didn’t have to look long to find it. Rainbow Dash was slowly drifting through the air above her, with a giant bowed box, just a bit taller than Dash, and Derpy assisting her in lowering the massive gift onto the stage. Rainbow Dash stepped away from the box and flew backstage, returning with a mic and stand. Rainbow tapped the microphone, sending out a series of dull thuds that soon silenced the soft roar that had arisen from the crowds melding conversations.
“Hello?” said Rainbow, her voice echoing over the crowd. “Hey, how’s it going, everypony? Uh… Most of you know who I am, cause I’ve probably crashed into your house at some point.” Most of those who did know Rainbow Dash, and even a number of those whom’s house she did crash into, found a bit of humor in that and laughed. Pinkie Pie was among those who fell into both categories. Rainbow Dash smiled, and she was starting to understand Pinkie’s love for this sort of thing. It was really quite a bit of fun.
“If you don’t know, I’m Rainbow Dash,” she continued. “I put together this little shindig, please, hold your applause.” A lot of ponies decided to applaud anyway, clapping and/or stomping their hooves, a few of them whooping and whistling. Pinkie was among these ponies, as well.
“But, you know, this isn’t about me. Not this time,” said Rainbow. “No, tonight is all about that crazy, hyper mare that we all know and love. If you’re bad at the guessing game, I’m talking about this filly right over here, one of my best friends, Pinkie Pie!”
A pair of pegasi flew over Pinkie, pointing down spotlights at the birthday girl. Pinkie blushed slightly, and her smile became a bit more nervous. The resounding cheer that Pinkie received made her feel like the most important mare in Equestria. She smiled and laughed and waved at all of her Ponyville friends as Rainbow waited for the crowd to die down. When it did, she picked up right where she left off, as if nothing ever happened.
“Now, Pinkie Pie is one of my best friends. She wasn’t always,” said Rainbow Dash. “I admit, I didn’t really care for Pinkie when we first met. I thought she was annoying, and even a little bit stupid. As it turns out, I’m the stupid one, because Pinkie is amazing. Sure, she can be a bit much for a newbie, but once you get over the shock, you start to understand that you just made a lifelong friend. Somepony who has your back at every turn, somepony who’ll lie down on the wire for you, somepony who just wants the see the world smile.”
Pinkie was smiling extremely wide, herself. She didn’t really think anything she did was that big of a deal, if she was being perfectly honest. She just did what felt right, and it felt right to see others smile, no matter what she had to do to cause it to happen. It was just who she was, and hearing somepony acknowledge her made her feel like it was all worth it, and that she should most certainly keep doing it.
“Pinkie has always been the one to cheer me up, even if nopony else can. If I had a bit for every day Pinkie Pie has kept me going… well, to put it simply, my gift to her would be a lot bigger.” The crowd sort of cheered in agreement, and Rainbow Dash bowed her head, almost as if wishing for her present to grow in size and value. “Pinkie Pie taught me a lot about life, which I’d never have thought. I judged Pinkie Pie, and that’s not fair. I saw her bright personality and her smile, which almost never went away, and how little she seemed to care about the bad thing or the little things, and I thought she was kinda dumb.”
Rainbow Dash grabbed the mic and fluttered into the air. She was gripped by too much energy to continue sitting still on that stage.
“Pinkie is deceptively smart, in pretty much every way you can think of,” said Rainbow. “She can spell like a dictionary, she does math like a calculator, and, if she and Princess Twilight went head-to-head in a reading contest, I’d put my money on Pinkie.”
Pinkie tried to humble herself immediately, saying that she really wasn’t all that smart, and she certainly couldn’t compete with Twilight, but she was drowned out at once by the loud cheering from the crowd of party-ponies.
“Besides just being a really smart mare all-around, she’s wise. Way wiser than her years. I’m telling you people, if you spend an hour just listening to the stuff that comes out of Pinkie’s mouth, you’ll walk away with ten years worth of life lessons, even if you don’t realize it. Pinkie teaches you how to live right. She taught me about smiling when things get tough. She taught me how to giggle at the ghostly. That little pink puffball of a pony has taught me to sing,” Rainbow Dash let that sink in for a moment. “Ask Fluttershy how often I sang before I met Pinkie, she’ll tell you how huge that is.”
Rainbow Dash did a little loop in the sky before dropping to the ground next to Pinkie. She gave her a little hug, which elicited a huge “awwww!” from the crowd. Dash grinned at her friend, who was a little misty-eyed by this point.
“You know what else Pinkie taught me?” Rainbow asked. “She taught me what love really is. Cause I used to think that love was all about the kisses and the baby-making, but she explained it to me.” Pinkie smiled sheepishly, still not convinced about how much she could have possibly taught Rainbow Dash.
“Have you guys noticed that Pinkie is a bit off?” asked Rainbow Dash. The crowd fell silent. “Know what? I don’t blame you. Since Pinkie is the pony she is, all she wants is for everypony else to be happy. She doesn’t mind if that causes herself to be sad, because she feels like that’s not important. But it is, to me at least. So, when I realized that Pinkie had been crying quite a bit lately, I had to do my part to help.”
“Why was she crying?” somepony in the crowd asked, for the benefit of all.
“She’s really sad, because her coltfriend and love of her life couldn’t make it here tonight,” said Rainbow Dash. “Pinkie, come up on stage with me for a sec.” Before Pinkie could so much as offer an argument, Rainbow scooped her up onto her back and flew her over to the stage, depositing the birthday girl in front of the giant gift box.
“Say ‘hi’ to the nice folks, Pinkie,” said Rainbow Dash, tilting the microphone in her direction.
“Um… Hello!” said Pinkie, slightly confused. “Hi, everypony!” A reverberating cheer shook Pinkie to her core, but made her smile all the wider.
“So, Pinks, you wanna tell these nice ponies about your little problem?” asked Dash. “Tell them about this colt friend of yours.”
“Oh… Okay,” PInkie said nervously. “Um… A while back, during Rainbow Dash’s birthday party that was a lot like this, I met a great guy named Cheese Sandwich. Uh… After he left, the two of us started to exchange letters, and I, uh, we… We fell in love.”
“Awwwwww!” sighed the crowd, in near perfect unison. Pinkie couldn’t help but chuckle, to alleviate the nerves she was feeling. She didn’t think she’d have to talk about Cheese today. Pinkie didn’t really have a problem doing that, but she was certainly confuzzled, trying to discern Rainbow’s point of doing this.
“Well, thanks. I really love him a lot, even though I don’t get to see him,” explained Pinkie. “He promised me that he’d be here for my birthday, but work got in the way, and he couldn’t make it. I’ve been sorta blue because of it. Well, not blue as in blue blue, but blue as in blue, you know?” Surprisingly, most ponies in the crowd did know what she meant.
“Uh… Rainbow Dash?” asked Pinkie. “What was the point of that?”
“Asking you about Cheese?” said Rainbow. “Oh, I wanted everypony to understand why you were screaming.”
Before Pinkie could open her mouth to voice her question Rainbow Dash zipped over to the giant present and untied the ribbon. With a little kick to the lid, the box fell apart, and the contents of the box were revealed. True to Rainbow’s prediction, Pinkie did indeed scream. Then she screamed some more, and then a little bit more, before running over to her “present” and wrapping her hooves around him in a tight, warm hug. With tears in her eyes, Pinkie kissed her coltfriend, and the crowd went wild.
Because he was there. He said he wouldn’t be, but there he was. The lanky, gangly stallion Pinkie Pie adored. His orange coat, his curly brown mane, his bright green eyes, Pinkie just wanted to see as much of him as possible. It was like a dream, and Pinkie still wasn’t entirely sure how it happened.
“I’m so super excited and happy you’re here, but I don’t get it!” said Pinkie, even if she wasn’t complaining. “How’re you here, cupcake?”
“Rainbow Dash came and got me, muffin,” said Cheese. “I didn’t really get it either, but she practically dragged me all the way from Appleloosa! I’m just so glad she brought us together.”
Pinkie looked wildly for Rainbow Dash, eventually meeting eyes with her floating above the crowd. Pinkie mouthed a teary “thank you”, and Rainbow responded with a big satisfied grin.
“Happy birthday, Pinkie Pie,” she said. She dropped the mic, and then the real party began.
Pinkie Pie had never been happier in all of her life, and she would be eternally grateful to Rainbow, who had helped create a night that she would never forget.
Author's Note
This was supposed to be a birthday present to a certain somebody. However, we recently had a falling-out. I put too much energy into this to not put it out, so, hope you enjoyed this bittersweet tale of love.