“Pancakes, pancakes, they are tasty but not like gems~” Spike sang to himself, pouring the mixture for them on a pan, and with a simple whiff of flame, starting the stove, which he proudly stared down to. “Great, now I wish I had gems…”
*knock* *knock*
“Oh-oh…” Spike gulped. “Was that the door? I-I probably just heard wrong! That couldn’t have been the d- *knock* *knock* door, it’s the door… Yeah, cool,“ Spike sighed, walking out the kitchen and heading down the long hallway leading to the stairs. “We don’t need staff she says! We can live on our own in this castle, she says! I can help you clean up, she says!” he complained out loud, knowing full well his echoing voice would not be loud enough to reach Twilight in Canterlot.
“Figures she’d be out today of all days,” he sighed, reaching the door a few minutes later and opening it, meeting an annoyed looking mail pony.
“About time!” he began. “Come now, I have more to do than wait for you to answer the door,” he complained, handing over a single letter to Spike. “You really need to get some sort of mailbox placed here.”
“Depends. Do you have any gems on you?”
“Um… No?”
“Then complain to the Princess,“ Spike growled in a low voice in response, slamming the door shut to the unassuming pony’s face and making his long walk back to the kitchen… Returning to a pan now on fire. “Aaah! How long did I take!?”
Acting quickly, he ran to the faucet nearby, grabbing a bucket and filling it with water which he then tossed into the fire, putting it out with ease.
“Aww…“ he whined as he stared into the charred remains of his breakfast, sighing in disappointment. “Well, that’s just great! Stupid mail,” he groaned, giving the letter in his claw a venomous stare and tossing it to the nearby table. “Huh?”
With barely a glance, Spike managed to catch a glimpse of a name in the letter, reaching for it, he picked it up and turned it around, noticing what was written on the back.
His name.
“A letter for me?” he asked surprised. “I’ve never gotten mail before,” he stared with awe at the random scribbles that made up his name, the fancy way it had been written catching his interest.
And yet, the main question remained.
“I wonder what it says…” he wondered out loud. “Maybe I should just read it,” poking the edge with his claw, he ripped it open in a flash. “I’m sure Twilight won’t mind, I mean, it’s MY mail… Hopefully.”
Unfolding the letter inside, he quickly read its contents.
“Wait…”
Only to be confused by what he read.
“Dear Mr. dragon, I would love to meet you later today if it isn’t any trouble, perhaps talking a bit, if it isn’t any trouble, oh wait, I already wrote that, oh dear, why am I still writing this and If you want to meet, please find me at the center of town at seven this evening.
From the”
“The?” Spike blinked, reading the letter once again. “What the heck is up with this?” putting the letter away, he headed for the door. “I think I’m going to need some help with this one.
~~~~~
“You should go first, Sweetie Belle, you are the one with magic,” suggested Scootaloo, looking down at the cliff under them, keeping their eyes on the broken, burning remains of a skateboard at the bottom of it.
Apple Bloom, blinked, staring at her friends. “Maaaaybe we should scrap this idea… Anypony against it?” the pair stared at each other, then shook their heads. “Ah’ thought so.”
“Hey, girls!”
“Huh?” the three turned their heads to look for the voice, noticing Spike slowly approaching them from the distance.
“I… Me… Letter…” he wheezed out of breath, falling down on his face when he got to them. “Hi,” he greeted them with his face down on the ground.
“Hey Spike, how is the weather down there?” Scootaloo teased.
“Ha, very funny,” he laughed sarcastically, getting back on his feet. “I came here for help, but I guess you really aren’t fit for it,” he shrugged turning to walk away. “And three, two, one…”
“We can help!” they all said in unison, surrounding Spike with eager looks on their faces.
“I figured you could,” he smiled knowingly, reaching into his back, and taking out the letter he had since read. “I got this letter earlier, but I don’t really get what it’s trying to say, I was gonna ask Twilight, but she isn’t here today.”
“Let me see,” Sweetie said, grabbing the letter from his claws. “Hmm…”
“What?” Spike asked, looking eager to know.
“Well, whoever send it told you to meet them by the fountain later today.”.
“Anything I don’t know yet?” he asked, rolling his eyes.
“Well, this looks very sloppily written… Oh my gosh!” Sweetie yelped out loud. “I think I know what this is!”
“What?” the three kids asked eagerly with eyes fixed on Sweetie.
“I think this is a love letter!”
“What makes you say that?” Spike asked, feeling mildly embarrassed at the implications of her words.
“Well, this pony said she would love to meet you, and from the crossed out bits it looks like she didn't know how to tell you! You must have a secret admirer who is going to propose her love to you!” Sweetie said excitedly, jumping in the air with her horn sparking uncontrollably.
“B-but what am I supposed to do? I really don’t know how to handle secret admirers… I didn’t even know I had one!”
“I’m sure that’s why they are called ‘secret admirers’ Spike,” Scootaloo pointed out.
“Do you girls know anything? Please!” he pleaded to the three fillies who shrugged at the same time.
“Sorry Spike, we don’t really hang out with colts,” Sweetie explained.
“Not that we have time to,” Apple Bloom continued. “We are too busy worrying about getting our cutie marks to worry about some stallion!”
“Also, there isn’t really a colt without a cutie mark in Ponyville, so the CMC is sorta stuck with just us,” Scootaloo continued.
“But don’t y’all worry!” Apple Bloom reassured him, placing a hoof around Spike. “Ah’ know who can help us! Come on!”
With doubt in his mind but nothing to lose, Spike followed with the other crusaders tagging along, walking through Ponyville and into the outskirts of the town, reaching a fence with numerous apple trees appearing in the distance.
“Why are we going to Sweet Apple Acres?” Spike asked confused.
“Because we are asking one of the smartest ponies Ah’ know! And that’s my sister! Ah’m sure she’ll know what to do.”
“I didn’t know AJ had a secret admirer,” Spike mulled curiously.
“Who knows, but Ah’m sure she can tell you how to act around a filly,” Apple Bloom continued. “Hey, there she is!” she noted, trotting to the working pony.
“Well, well, if it ain’t the CMC,” Applejack noted, picking a basket from the floor and placing it on a cart nearby. “Already done with yer’ crusading?”
Scootaloo sighed sadly. “Well, the scooter caught on fire, so that idea is out.”
“And can you tell me how the scooter caught on fire?” she asked worriedly.
“Well… You know what? I have no idea!”
“Ahem!” Spike cleared his throat, catching Applejack by surprise
“Spike! Didn’t see you there lil bud, my bad,” she apologized. “What are you doing hanging out with these three troublemakers?”
“I need your advise!” he said quickly, nervously digging his claw in the ground. “You see, I think I may have somepony who likes me, and I don’t know how to talk to her about it… So, do you have any advice?”
“Yeah!” Apple Bloom grinned. “Ah’m sure you have experience with this kind of stuff, right?”
Applejack stared blankly, blinking occasionally, she looked side to side, gulping to herself. “Uh, well, it‘s easy, you see… Um…”
“Easy? How?“ Sweetie interrupted curious.
Sweating profusely, Applejack, smacked her forehead, shaking her head in disbelief of what she had said. “Um, did y’all hear that? A-Ah’ think Big Mac is calling me!”
“Eenope,” came the deep voice of the red stallion standing right behind her, holding the smallest hint of a smile.
“Eeyup!” AJ growled, passing by Big Mac and dragging him away with her.
“Hold on! How is it easy!?” Spike shouted after them, watching as they left without saying a word and disappearing into the farm house. “What the heck just happened?”
“Ah’ don’t know, AJ was acting weird for some reason,” Apple Bloom noted thoughtfully. “Maybe we should explain better with the next pony we try.”
“How about Rainbow Dash?” Sweetie quickly suggested.
“I don’t think that’ll work,” Scootaloo cut in.
“Why not?”
“Because Rainbow always tells me that she is far too focused with joining the Wonderbolts to bother with a silly relationship,” she explained.
Spike chuckled. “She probably doesn’t know how to, come on, I already know who to try next! Come on,” he called the fillies, who followed quickly, eager to find out who Spike spoke of, all but one Scootaloo who simply stared blankly into the distance.
"Why did this feel like a cheap, lazy way to skip asking advice to Rainbow?"
~~~~~
“Rarity?” Sweetie said, realizing who Spike had in mind the moment they approached Carousel Boutique.
“Of course! Who else but her, right? She must have lots of experience with dating!”
“I guess,” Sweetie sighed, heading into the place first with the others following right behind as she headed upstairs, where the snow colored Rarity seemed to be relaxing, calmly reading a book.
“Well, well, look who comes to visit,” she said with a sultry smile, looking at Spike. “You haven’t come over in a while Spikey.”
“Hi to you too,” Sweetie groaned, rolling her eyes while Spike stared with a mystified expression as Rarity patted his head.
“Oh, come now Sweetie, you practically live here, I’m sure you can allow me a moment to say hi to my favorite dragon, can’t you?" Rarity whined jokingly.
“Ain’t he the only dragon you know?” Apple Bloom pointed out.
“Semantics dear,” Rarity said with a smile to the confused Apple Bloom. “In any case, what can I do you for? It’s strange to see you all four here together, specially without Twilight.”
“Twilight is out in Canterlot,” Spike explained awkwardly. “Which brings me to my question, you see…” and so, he explained the situation to Rarity, who listened silently until Spike finished his story.
“Well, I’ll be, my little Spikey Wikey has his first secret crush!” Rarity spouted with excitement. “I’ll gladly help you with it.”
“Y-yeah,” Spike pouted. “Cool, I guess.”
“What’s the matter Spike? You should be happy! You get to meet somepony who might be interested in you!” Rarity said, unable to miss his glaring lack of enthusiasm.
Slowly approaching Rarity, Apple Bloom whispered. “Ah’ think he was expecting the letter to have come from you.”
“Nah,” Sweetie laughed. “Rarity is a classy pony, she would never send letters to somepony she liked, it would be the other way! She’d probably rather drown in ice cream than do that, right sis?”
“… Y-yes,” Rarity replied after a few faltering seconds.
“Huh? What’s wrong?” Scootaloo asked, looking at her uncomfortable expression on her face.
“I… Just recalled I need to do something, is all! Ha-ha…” she laughed awkwardly, raising the four into the air with her magic and dragging them out the door.
“Wait, but what do I do then?” Spike asked looking desperate. “You said you would help!”
“Um, well… Don’t worry, and everything will be fine. Tah-tah!” she finished, closing the door to the group, and impatiently, waiting for them to leave a few minutes later. “… Phew.”
Closing the blinds to her room, she headed to a small locked drawer near her bed, and with some effort, she reached into a hidden part of it, taking out the key and opening it, revealing a stack of old letters, the name 'Trenderhoof' easily sticking out from many of them.
“Nopony must know the truth…”
~~~~~
“… And so, after two busted tries, we decided to come to you,” Spike hesitantly finished explaining to the pony in front of him. “So… Can you help, Pinkie?”
“Of course I can help!” the pink pony Pinkie Pie said with a determined smile. “Don’t you worry, Auntie Pinkie is on the case!”
“Ah’ thought we were cousins…” Apple Bloom commented from the side.
“So, what do you have in mind?” Sweetie asked skeptically.
Pinkie nodded “Well, the first thing you must do, is to cut them!”
“Huh?” Spike and the group gasped at the same time.
“Some slack! Ponies who confess like that are usually very shy, so you have to tread carefully,” she finished.
“Oh, um, okay? What else?” Spike asked, already regretting his decision.
“Next, you gotta know to stuff them!”
Spike blinked rapidly. “Wait, what?”
“With food!” Pinkie finished. “Even fillies like eating! Just ask Gummy, he knows how much I like to eat, right Gummy?” she asked at the alligator who only stared blankly at her. “See? He knows me so well!”
“Psst,” Sweetie Belle whispered to Spike. “This is starting to get uncomfortable.”
“I know, but w-” Spike tried whispering back, but was stopped by Pinkie who suddenly stood between her and Sweetie. “Aaah!”
“Shh! I’m getting to the best part!” she said, giving the pair an anxious look.
“O-okay,” they warily responded at the same time.
“Good! Now next,” she said, taking out a piece of chalk from seemingly out of nowhere and putting it on the floor and then stepping on it. “You have to crush them!”
“…”
“…”
“… Pinki-”
“By which I mean crush their doubts! Compliment them!” she continued, grabbing the still whole chalk and drawing a heart on her wall.
With a quick nod to the others, Spike turned back to Pinkie. “I think we are done here.”
~~~~~
“Petition to pretend that today never happened say ‘aye’” Spike said once out of Sugarcube Corner, raising his claw followed by the hooves from the other three fillies.
“But we ran out of ponies to question, who else are we supposed to ask?” Apple Bloom groaned disappointed.
“Oh, hey girls! And Spike too!”
“If only we knew of other pony who could help…” Scootaloo hummed thoughtful.
“Um, excuse me? D-do you need any help?”
“But who could help?” Sweetie wondered.
“M-maybe I could help, well, probably, I mean…”
Finally noticing the pony standing besides them, Spike spoke out. “Oh, hey Fluttershy, didn’t see you there!”
“I know,” she sighed, shaking her head as a white rabbing jumped from one of the baskets she carried and onto her head. “Calm down Angel, we’ll be heading home soon enough.”
“Hey, I know! Maybe Fluttershy can help Spike!” Sweetie suggested to Fluttershy’s disguised frustration.
“Sure! Um… Help with what?” she asked, ready to help out the four.
“Well,” Spike said, taking a deep breath. “IgotaletterfromafillywhomighthaveacrushonmeandI’mlookingforsomeponywhocangivemesomeadviceonhowtotalktoherwithoutmessingitup!” he finished, taking a deep breath. “Think you can help?”
Fluttershy stared with a shocked expression, her mind frozen on the word ’ah’ which coincidentally, was the word she uttered as she attempted to say something. “Aaaaaah…”
“Fluttershy?” Spike called worried. “Are you okay?”
Rolling his eyes, Angel raised a leg, letting it fall on the head of the broken record.
“You should just be yourself and go with it!” Fluttershy let out quickly, much to her own surprise. “Um, I mean.”
“Wait, is it that simple?” Scootaloo said looking shocked. “Really?”
“… Go with it!” Fluttershy thought, gulping. “W-well, if the pony send you a letter, it’s obvious that, um, they are interested in who you are, and not who you are trying to be… Yes!”
“Wow,” Spike said amazed. “Of course! Why didn‘t I think of that! Thanks Fluttershy, and thanks to you guys! I have to go! I have a meeting to get to!” he said, running off to the direction of the castle.
“Bye Spike!” Apple Bloom called, waving alongside the other two before turning to Fluttershy. “Wow, Ah’ didn’t know you knew so much about relationships, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy only blinked, simply standing in place. “I didn’t know either…”
~~~~~
“It’s okay Spike, you can do this!” he said to himself, standing near the water fountain he had been called to.To his fortune, not many ponies passed by the area at the time, so he was alone for the most part, nervously looking at the few passing mares, expecting them to be the secret messenger. “Aah, who could 'the' be?”
Impatiently waiting, he stared towards the clock tower in the distance, watching the hands slowly inch towards the appointed time, and then.
“Seven!” he exclaimed as the tower rang the time, turning around to meet the filly who had send him the letter. “Huh?” to his surprise, instead of seeing a filly in front of him, a stallion stood in her place.
“Greetings!” the brown colored pony greeted him.
“Who are you?” Spike asked confused. “Can I help you?”
“Oh, pardon me!” the pony said surprised. “Did I come at the wrong time? Perhaps I didn’t set the right time and I’m here way early!”
Spike’s nervousness soon became plain confusion. “Wait, are you the pony I’m supposed to be meeting?”
“Why, yes, I even signed the letter with my name,” he said worriedly. “Did I not?”
“All it has is 'the',” Spike explained. “Wait, so you really are the one who told me to come out here?”
“Ah, my apologies!” the stallion apologized. “I am the doctor, I suppose that I was trying to make my letter convey my excitement so much that I must have missed that small detail!"
"Small... Sure. Wait… What was so important that you had to bring me here?” Spike sighed with clear disappointment.
“Well, it’s a thing of the utmost importance, of course, I had to get you out of there so Princess Twilight wouldn’t know…” he explained. “Sometimes I do things that others might perhaps find a bit… Dangerous.”
“Uh-huh,” Spike mumbled, already losing interest. “So what is it?”
“This!” the doctor exclaimed, taking out a strangle looking colored ball. “You see, I set out to create a different type of firework, but it turns out, I made something so strange, that not even I know how to light it! Normal fire doesn’t work for one, so I figured; what if a dragon’s flame could do the trick?”
Spike stared, one of his eyes twitching. “So, you are trying to say that you wrote a letter to get me to come here without Twilight knowing... To light a firework?”
The doctor laughed. “Well, anypony can simplify things… But yes.”
And with a simple breath, Spike let out a burst of fire, and said no more as he stomped away, leaving behind a darkened doctor, who simply blinked astonished with the firework in his hoof still intact.
“Huh… What is something I said?”
Author's Note
Yeah, this was even sillier than I expected it to be, but if you found it at least amusing, I did my job, I say.
Anyway, thanks for reading, and see you next week!
