Humans of Equestria

“Can we do anything for you sire?” one of the royal guards asked me as I sat bored in my room.

“No. thank you” I said annoyed “and how many times have I told you to call me Josh I’m not a real prince.” My mind was elsewhere at the moment to, preferably on that magician I saw earlier. There had to be a way to see her again. Then a thought came into my head.

“Actually wait do any of you know anything about a magician named Trixie?”

“No sir I’m afraid not. Maybe your mother or Princess Twilight Sparkle would know. Perhaps you should write them and ask.”

“That won’t be necessary” said a familiar voice that caused us to turn attention to.

“Trixie is already here.” Said the sky blue unicorn as she enters the room.

The guards took a defensive position around me all drawing they’re weapons as the captain barked “What are you doing here?! Who let you in?!”

“Stand down boys she’s welcomed here. Give us a minute.” I ordered, my mind seeing this as a perfect opportunity. Reluctantly all the guards leave the room as I turn to the robbed wizard. “I never did catch your full name.”

“Trixie Lulamoon”

“Right…how did you get in here?”

“Trixie has her ways”

“Okay…well why are you here?”

“…Trixie is here for payment for Trixie’s stage which you so rudely broke when you interfered with something Trixie totally had everything under control.”

“Well I could pay you back but then I’m not sure it’d be fixed the right way.”

  I sat in thought for a moment.

“Tell you what I’ll fix it myself AND I’ll buy you dinner.”

“Eww Trixie wants nothing to do with you after Trixie gets her stage fixed.” she said in disgust

“I insist it’s the least I could do since I did cause you so much strife.”

She hesitated for a moment.

“…..Fine but only because Trixie is hungry and can’t turn down free food.”

“Aww you’re hungry now? Here I have some leftovers from my lunch.” I reach into my bag and pull out a pristine pack of peanut butter crackers. “Here you want these?”

Trixie’s eyes widen and her mouth waters. “Are…are you sure how could you possibly give Trixie such a delicacy.”

I looked at her puzzled.

“They’re just crackers I never really eat them anyway so yeah you can have them.”

Trixie takes them from me and devours them within seconds leaving nothing but an empty wrapper. “Well then….lets go take care of that stage.”

Trixie leads me to her stage where a whole corner was blown off in my recklessness. “That’s quite the damage but I know just the spell to fix it! A simple reversion spell and poof it’s fixed!” I raise my hand and focus and like clockwork the pieces move into place. “And with that done I’m getting a little hungry as well how do hayburgers sound?”

“Trixie does not care Trixie just wants to be done with this night and you.” she scoffed

“Right this way Trix.” I said without the least bit of annoyance in my voice

“What did you just call the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Trix? It’s just a nickname. I kinda like it don’t you.”

“Please refrain from calling Trixie anything other than Trixie or the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

“Whatever Trix.”

“Mrrgrrgrr! You’re not going to stop are you human?”

“Nope and the names Josh.”

“Very well if you refuse to call Trixie by her names than Trixie shall call you Mutt.”

“Fine by me Trix”

We walk in silence after that, Trixie visibly disheartened by me not hating the new nick name but I had been called worse and I did kind of

like the name. Eventually we got to the restaurant and take our seat. After ordering I try my best to befriend the blue unicorn.

“So tell me about yourself Trix.”

“You misunderstand Mutt this is not a date Trixie is here to eat and leave no more.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t get to know each other right? I mean we can be friends right?”

“Trixie doesn’t have friends just adoring fans.”

“Well maybe I can be your first friend. They’re pretty nice to have especially when you owe loan sharks….er dogs…money. What’s the story behind that anyway?”

“Trixie doesn’t have to nor does Trixie want to tell you anything about that. It’s none of your business.”

“Fine, fine I won’t pry…” The waiter then brings our food and we both scarf it down. After paying Trixie and I step outside and she turns to me.

“Trixie is interested in this friendship…if you are sincere come to Trixie’s show tonight and we’ll discuss this.”

“You got yourself a deal I’ll be there!” Trixie nods and throws down a smoke ball disappearing. “Well her shows a few hours away…maybe I can stop at the game store and find a rare poniibo!!”I make my way to the game store but instead of seeing the usual friendly faces of the employees and customers alike I’m met with two royal guards.

“The princess has ordered us to bring you to the castle immediately. You must come with us.” They exclaim pointing to the carriage.

“But I have to meet someone in the performance courtyard in a couple hours…at least go tell her I can’t make it!” I exclaim with great concern in my voice.

“I’m afraid we can’t do that sir direct orders from the princess.” They grab me and force me into the carriage as it speeds to the castle where an obviously drunk Celestia awaits. One little known thing about my mother, she only drinks when she’s really depressed or really happy.

“Hello my little banana I just got back from the diamond dog territory and we came up with a little agreement…Twilight get in here and tell my little banana his punishment.”

A purple alicorn who I immediately recognized as princess twilight sparkle entered the room and glared at me with a look of distain. “For nearly causing a species war you are coming with me to Ponyville in order to learn restraint and study under me in magical arts.”

My jaw drops as my eyes water “Mom are you serious!? I’m being banished from Canterlot…from my friends…from you..”

“No you can still come and go as you please my sweet little banana but for now you no longer can live in the castle. All of your possessions have been moved to twilight’s castle in Ponyville where you will now stay.” She approaches and embraces me “I know this is hard but I’m doing this because I love you my little banana now you and twilight must go the train is waiting.” We said our tearful goodbyes and twilight guided me to the train station where we departed for my new home in Ponyville.