Illuminati Confirmed

by Just A Random Pegasus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Spike, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 1796

Twilight becomes obsessed with pointing out triangles and thinking, "Illuminati confirmed".

After Twilight studies the Illuminati, she becomes obsessed with finding triangles and thinking "Illuminati confirmed".

Her friends start thinking she's insane.

Published 2015-07-05 19:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-05 19:00:01 UTC

Do Do Do Do Do Di Doooo

Twilight Sparkle walked through the Canterlot Library, looking at all the books on the shelves. Today, she wanted to study something from the past. But what? Almost all of the history books were about the two pony-wars, which she had already read about. She was pulling different books out until one caught her eye. On the cover, there was a dark-green triangle with an eye in the middle. The title of the book was, The Illuminati.

"Hm... sounds interesting!" Twilight whispered to herself as she flipped open the first page.

Over the next hour, Twilight read the pages of the book, learning about the secret organization. When she finally put the book down, she noticed the sun was setting.

"I guess I better be getting home..." Twilight stated as she put the book back on the shelf and made her way to the front. Before she left, she saw the librarian, who had a triangle-shaped hat on.

"Have a nice night, Princess!" The librarian said, Twilight looked at her hat for a moment as a strange-sounding tune filled her head. She then found herself mentally tracing the hat, finding a triangle. "Princess?" The librarian questioned, getting a little bit scared that the alicorn was staring at her hat.

"Illuminati!" Twilight shouted as the librarian looked at her in confusion.

"Whatever do you mean, your highness?"

"Your hat is the shape of a triangle. Correct?"

"Well, yes."

"That means you are part of the Illuminati. I know your secret."

"I'm sorry, Princess, but I don't think the Illuminati exists anymore. And... I'm not part of it. Just because I have a triangle-shaped hat doesn't mean I'm in that organization."

"Well, you might want to get a different hat!"

"Excuse me?"

"Yes! Others will think you're part of the Illuminati otherwise!" Twilight then ran out of the library.

"Pff." The librarian grunted as she continued stamping books.

Twilight spread her wings and took off, looking down at the ground below. Equestria looked really nice during the evening; with the sun setting, giving off a nice, refreshing glow. The Princess soon arrived in Ponyville and flew to the doorstep of her castle. She opened the door to find Bic Macintosh and Spike holding cards.

"What are you doing?" Twilight questioned as Spike looked over at her.

"Oh, Twilight! You're home!" Spike then showed Twilight a few cards. "Big Mac and I are trading hoof-ball cards!"

"Well... okay. I need to get ready for bed, so don't be too loud."

"You got it, Princess!" Spike remarked as he pulled out a hand of cards again.

When Twilight got upstairs, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her mane was all messed up from flying, and- wait! Twilight took a closer look at her horn. Suddenly, she found herself mentally tracing it.

"Ahhh!" She shouted, realizing that her horn was the shape of a triangle. She quickly found a hat and put it over her horn. "Much better." The Princess climbed into bed, letting her dreams take her into another world.

She woke up to the sound of munching. "Spike... what are you eating?" She questioned tiredly. She rubbed her eyes and saw the food Spike was holding.

"I'm eating Doritos, Twilight. I bought some when you were gone yesterday. And... why do you have that hat on your head?" There was silence for a moment. "Twilight?"

"Spike!" She shouted, levitating the bag of chips out of his claws.

"Hey! Those are mine! I bought them with my own bits!"

"I'm sorry, Spike. But do you know what shape these are?" Twilight levitated a chip next to Spike.

"Um... a triangle?" The dragon tried to grab it, but Twilight snatched it back.

"Exactly! And you know what this means, right?"

Spike got a confused look on his face. "No... but can you give me my Doritos back?"

"Spike, it means that these chips are part of the Illuminati!"

"The Illumi-what now?"

"Illuminati. And since you're eating these, ponies will think you're part of the organization, too." With that, Twilight teleported the chips away to the dumpster.

"No! My Doritos!" Spike shouted as Twilight shrugged her shoulders.

"Spike, you don't want ponies to think you're part of that organization!"

"Whatever. And you never told me why you have that hat on your head."

"Ugh!" Twilight grunted as she opened up the window and flew outside.

The alicorn flew onto a cloud, where she wouldn't be bothered. She then heard something flying around.

"Hey, Twilight!" Rainbow Dash greeted as she sat on the cloud next to her. "What's up?"

"Oh, nothing."

"Hey, I have to clear this cloud. So you may want to get off."

"Yeah..." Twilight responded as she flapped her wings and got off of the cloud. With a kick from Rainbow, the cloud disappeared. Twilight then flew around a little bit more until another cloud caught her eye.

"Rainbow Dash!" She shouted as the cyan Pegasus flew over.

"Yeah, Twilight?"

"You need to get rid of this cloud."

"Why? Because it shades the Ponyville Spa?" Rainbow joked as Twilight rolled her eyes.

"No! It's a triangle!" Twilight responded as Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

"What's so bad about triangles?" Rainbow questioned as Twilight flew up and kicked the cloud.

"Go research the Illuminati." Twilight responded before flying off. Rainbow rolled her eyes.

"You know I don't like research!" She shouted, but Twilight was already out of ear-length.

"Twilight! Down here~!" Came a voice. Twilight looked down and saw it was Rarity.

"Oh, hey Rarity!" Twilight responded as she descended.

"Twilight, I couldn't help but notice that hat you're wearing."

"Yes? What about it?"

"It looks simply horrible! I must get you a new one!" Rarity suggested as she pushed Twilight into the boutique.

"No, Rarity, it's fine!"

"No, I insist I get you a better one!" Rarity shoved Twilight into the main room and started looking at hats.

"Hm..." she pondered. She finally found one that seemed perfect. "Ah-ha!" The unicorn gave Twilight a yellow hat with a few emeralds decorating the outside. She then took off the hat Twilight already had on.

"Thank you, Rarity." Twilight then put the new hat on.

"Um, may I ask why you insist on wearing a hat today, darling?" Rarity questioned.

"I want to hide my horn."

"Wh-why?"

"It's the shape of a triangle! And you know what that means?"

"Oh no..." Rarity mumbled, knowing what was coming.

"It means ponies might think I'm in the Illuminati!"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Darling, you're staring to sound a lot like Sweetie Belle."

"What?"

"She's learning about the Illuminati in school, and now is always pointing out triangles."

"Oh! Okay. Well, I better be going. So long, Rarity!" Twilight said as she trotted outside.

As Twilight walked outside, she saw Fluttershy leading bunnies somewhere.

"Hi, Fluttershy!" Twilight greeted.

"Oh, hi Twilight! Can you help me? That is... if you want to..."

"Of course I can help, Fluttershy!"

"Thank you, Twilight. Can you stand at the other side of these bunnies? I need to get them to a field."

"Of course!" Twilight positioned herself by the bunnies.

"They're so adorable!" Twilight remarked, taking a closer look.

"Oh, I know! Bunnies are some of the sweetest little critters!" Fluttershy looked over at Twilight, who was staring at a bunny. "Um... Twilight..."

"Fluttershy! Look at the ears of these bunnies!"

"What? They're just ears..."

"They are TRIANGLES!"

"Uh..."

"I better be going before ponies think I'm leading Illuminati-bunnies to a field!" Twilight remarked, taking off into the skies.

"Um... didn't she say she was going to help me?" Fluttershy said to herself as she continued leading the bunnies.

Twilight flew over to Sweet Apple Acres. I might as well get some cider... she thought as she landed in front of the barn.

"Twilight!" Applejack called. Twilight turned around to find Applejack trotting up to her.

"Oh, hey Applejack!"

"What are you doin' here?"

"I wanted to get some cider, if that's alright."

"Of course it is, sugar-cube!" Applejack then made her way into the barn. "I'll make a nice, fresh batch for us."

"Thanks, Applejack!" Twilight responded, following her friend into the barn.

Twilight sat down at a table as Applejack started making some cider. As soon as the cider was made, Applejack put two cups on the table and took a seat.

"So... anything new?" Applejack questioned as she took a sip of her cider. She then found Twilight staring at the side of the table. "Twi? Are you okay?"

"A triple!"

"What?"

"There are three triangles! Triple-Illuminati!" Twilight answered as she got up from the table. "I think you should get far away from that table."

"Why? What in tarnation are you talkin' about, Twi?"

"UGH! Nopony understands my research!" Twilight said as she teleported out.

Twilight was flying all over Ponyville, trying her best to avoid any triangles she saw. After an hour of staying in the sky, she heard her name called.

"Twilight!" Twilight looked down to see her five friends looking up at her. She flew down to them, studying the serious looks on their faces.

"What do you need me for?" Twilight questioned, tired from flapping her wings so much.

"Twilight, we've come to help you." Rarity stated.

"Help me? Help me with what?"

"Your obsession with the Illuminati, silly!" Pinkie Pie answered.

"Wait, how would you know I've been finding triangles?" Twilight asked Pinkie who giggled in response.

"Rainbow Dash told me about it! Wow, you are really going crazy over this!" Pinkie responded as she started laughing again.

"Are you.. making fun of my research?" Twilight questioned.

"Of course not, Twilight. We are just are here to tell you that... even if something is the shape of a triangle, it doesn't mean that it's part of the Illuminati." Fluttershy told her friend. Twilight looked at them, suddenly snapping back into reality.

"Oh... I guess I went a little overboard with this. Sorry to disturb you all with this."

"You're fine, sugar-cube. Just remember to not go overboard next time," Applejack responded, looking at the sun. "It's almost nighttime. Let's get some rest, and have a picnic at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow!"

"That's a great idea! I guess I'll see you all tomorrow!" Twilight said as she waved good-bye to her friends.

When the Princess got home, she took her hat off and placed it on a rack. She then looked at herself in the mirror and giggled.

"Illuminati confirmed!" Twilight said, laughing some more. "I suppose that was pretty funny." She remarked as she climbed into bed, still laughing at herself.

Author's Note

I have one thing to say...

OH BABY A TRIPLE! OH YEAH! :rainbowlaugh:

I hope you enjoyed! :derpytongue2: