Learning Life

Mark

I wake with a start. The last thing I remember clearly is tumbling down a hill followed by an excruciating pain on the back of my head. I also remember the craziest dream where I touched a bright green light and then saw a purple winged unicorn. I have such an active imagination. I glance around at my surroundings. It's quite obvious someone found me in the woods and brought me to a hospital. I'll have to thank them deeply later. The room looks standard of a hospital room. Most things are either a grey-blue color or white. The only bit that stands out is the small table across from me that has a pot of flowers on top of it. I stretch my arms out and....

No, let's try that again.

I stretch my arms out and...

Okay body, this time, do what I ask.

I stretch my arms out and... why won't my arms move? I look down at the offending appendages and notice what the issue is. I'm shackled to the bed. Alright, no need to panic, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. I must have punched my doctors while I was unconscious. Yeah, that's it, I must have been having a nightmare and accidentally punched a couple nurses or doctors. I'll wait for one of the nurses to come by and he or she will get me out of these, no sweat.

"And then he said, 'To hay with it, I'll make my own theme park. With blackjack, and hookers!'"

Perfect, there's someone coming right now. The voice rounds the corner and in front of me now stands a... horse? No, it's not a horse. If anything it's technically a pony, but even that's kind of a stretch. It's got a lot of the same attributes a pony does. It has hooves, pointed ears, a mane, a tail, toned legs and posterior, and a muzzle (albeit a small one), but that's where the similarities stop. Its eyes are large and full of life, its coat is a virgin and unsoiled white while its mane is a brilliant shade of red, not unlike that of a rose. There's a red cross on its rear-end engulfed by a blue circle. I stare directly at him (or atleast I assume it's a he, but I can't be sure without a comparison) and he stares back at me with an equal amount of curiosity. We both sit motionless for what feels like an eternity. Finally, he hesitantly takes a step closer. I don't react. He takes another with just as much caution. Ever so slowly, he makes his way to the foot of my bed and remains still. Neither of us have broken eye contact. I open my mouth.

"...hi?"

This startles him and prompts a yell, which in turn startles me and causes me to yell. He bolts out of the room faster than seems physically possible. Well that was an experience. Was that what I heard talking earlier? No, it couldn't possibly be. It's probably the pet of one of the doctors. You know, one of those animals they bring into hospitals to help kids with terminal illness. Yeah, that seems like a perfectly logical and sane explanation for what I just witnessed. Once the doctor sees the animal leaving my room in a panic, he'll come investigate. Now I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

After centuries of waiting (seven minutes) I can finally hear more voices in the hallway. I can distinguish between two, both feminine.

"...need to approach this situation with caution. He's waking up in an unfamiliar place chained to a bed. There's no telling how he may react."

"I know princess, but from my experience none of them are inherently malicious."

I can't make out what the voices are saying, but they are relatively soothing to listen to. The two voices round the corner and.... you've got to be kidding me. In the room now stands two more ponies. One is significantly larger than the other. This one has a coat just as pure white as the last one, but her mane is a translucent rainbow that seems to defy gravity and waves in a non-existent breeze. The other one looks familiar... AH! It's the one from my dream! So it stands to reason that I'm still dreaming. I suppose I could wake myself up, but I kind of want to see where this goes. The shorter pony has a lavender coat and a deep purple mane. The mane has a streak of lighter purple and a streak of pink running through it. Both of them are currently wearing a type of tiara and both have a horn as well as wings on their backs. The white one has golden necklace on and also has what looks like a sun on its rear-end. The small purple one has what looks like a pink and purple star on hers. (definitely female, more curvy and a more feminine snout, not to mention the voice I heard earlier if it indeed came out of her mouth). I can't determine the tall one's gender, as it has a more feminine charm but seems to put out a more masculine radiance. Perhaps I'm mistaking masculinity for power, but based on the voice I heard earlier, it would probably be safe to assume it's female as well. My mind is a very interesting place.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, would you mind telling me your name?" the purple one speaks.

Okay, she's clearly trying to speak, most likely to me, but I can't understand a word she's saying. My brain's not broken is it?

"Would you please tell me your name? Do you have a name?" she speaks again.

Interesting. The sounds coming from her mouth seem structured and coherent. Not the mention with the way her mouth moves, the sounds are intentional. Is she speaking a different language?

"I can't understand a word you're saying." I retort.

The purple pony gives me a confused look and then turns her head to the larger pony and whispers something I can't make out.

"Would you mind repeating that?" responds the purple pony.

This is tricky. I can't understand her, but since this is dreamland there's no way of knowing if she understands me. Alright, if there's a language barrier to overcome here, it's best we both know that it exists. I assume the best way to do that is to say a lot of things and see if she responds to any of them. They'll have to be terms that provoke pretty clear and concise responses though.

"Fuck you. You're an idiot and I wish you would die. If I had my way, I'd tear out your insides put them on a grill, ship your hooves to a glue factory, and then feast on your flesh."

No such luck. She's still giving me the same confused look as before. The two of them share another concerned glance. Suddenly, the horn on the purple one's head glows and a clipboard and quill flash into existence in front of her. Is that what happened? I think so... Definitely dreaming. I watch as the quill begins to move across the clipboard on its own. Was she causing that? I glance at the horn on her head that's still glowing. Of course. She can use magic, duh. The two equines begin conversing with each other again.

"Well, this is certainly an impasse I didn't predict," states the purple pony.

"Very interesting. I thought these creatures spoke Equish. At least that's what it stated in your report to me from your escapades." the tall white one retorts.

"They did. Maybe my assumption that the dimension he's from is different from that one is true. That would explain his different interaction with magic."

"Well, thankfully it doesn't look like he wishes to harm us. In fact, he seems to be taking this in stride. He's woken up in a strange world and is being talked to by a completely different species than his own. He didn't even flinch when you flared your magic," giggle. "In fact, it may even be that he thinks he's dreaming. Denial would be a perfectly reasonable defense mechanism to fall back on at this moment."

I clear my throat and interrupt their conversation. I'm getting restless. I use my index finger to point at the shackles on my wrist and give the best quizzical look I can. The two give each other a concerned look. A moment of back and forth wordless conversation passes between the two. The large pony turns her attention to me and a yellow light engulfs her horn. The same light takes over my shackles and then they vanish. Fantastic.

This is long overdue.

I stretch and let out one of my patent-pending stretch shouts. Although I tone it down a notch, it doesn't stop the sound from startling the two. They both jump. After they recollect themselves they move into a defensive position, ready for any attack I may attempt on them. Rather than doing that I finish my stretch and flop back down onto the bed. I lift my head up and see the two still glaring daggers at me. I can't help it, I start laughing. They're just so colorful and cute! Here they are both ready to fight me as if I was some planet destroying menace. Both of these scenarios are incredibly silly and I can't help but break down into laughter. I can't tell what's funnier, the way they're looking at me or how willing they are to fight me. I let my laughter dry up and proceed to sit back up. I look at the two. They seem to have relaxed. At least laughing is universal.

Alright, time for formalities. I point to myself.

"Mark." I say firmly. I reemphasize my finger point. "Mark."

The purple pony nods and repeats the name. I then point to her.

"Twilight Sparkle." She says matter-of-factly. I repeat it. It sounds like a full name, but in case it isn't I'll address her as such. I now point to the large pony.

"Princess Celestia." Says she. Again, I repeat the words spoken. Step one of social interaction is done. Now to break the touch barrier. I put my hand out the side of the bed and look between it and Twilight. She looks up at Princess Celestia.

"It should be okay so long as you aren't close for too long. The effect is gradual and requires prolonged exposure it would seem." remarks Princess Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle warily walks over to my hand. I thought we were past the potential danger part of this, but the concerned look on her face as she approaches says differently. She gets close to my hand and sits on her hind-quarters. Rather than sniffing my hand like I assumed she was going to do, she lifts her hoof and places it on my hand. I grip it and shake it up and down... did I just do a handshake with a pony? I release her hoof and motion for her to move closer. She hesitates, but obliges. At this distance I can see her features much more clearly. I slowly reach my hand out again. This time I let it rest on her muzzle. I see panic flash in her eyes, but she calms as I let my hand rest for a few seconds. I glide my hand across her head and come to a stop on her cheek. I let it sit for a few seconds before raising it off and moving next to her ear. I lightly snap my finger and as expected her large ear flicks. I move my hand to the other ear and repeat the process receiving the same results.

I now put my hand on her forehead. I have a theory. I can't help but shake the feeling that it might not be a good idea to touch her horn. The same way a girl you just met wouldn't want you to touch her feet, among other things. I start rubbing her head, careful to avoid the horn. Her eyes widen in surprise. I'm afraid she'll tear away, but in fact, she does the opposite. She leans in slightly further, a hint to amp up the pressure. She closes her eyes, definitely enjoying the pet. It's absolutely adorable. I move my hand behind her ears and begin to scratch. She gasps in surprise, but based on the fact she doesn't move away, I'd say it's a good thing. I finish the session and return my hand to my lap. As I move my hand away, her head moves slightly towards it, obviously not wanting the process to stop. She opens her eyes and looks at me once again. I give her a warm smile which she returns. She then turns around and walks back to Princess Celestia.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but it felt... strangely comforting. Something tells me we don't have anything to worry about."

I look at them both and they return the gaze.

"Well Twilight, it seems he trusts you. I don't suppose you could help break down this communication wall?"

"Hmm.. Well, it would take a while to teach him Equish, but I'm pretty certain that if you give me a bit of a boost, I can transfer the knowledge of HIS language to myself and I can act as translator. Normally I would impart my own knowledge onto him, but given he doesn't have magic, it most likely won't work."

"Very well, you can begin the process. I'll keep you supplied with magic so he doesn't drain you completely."

I still don't understand a word they're saying, but it doesn't really matter. I watch as Twilight once again comes over to my bed, only this time, she puts her front hooves on the bed and tilts her horn towards my head. Her horn flares up with its purple glow and I suddenly feel suuuuuper sleeepy... Nighty-night.....

I look around and see darkness on all sides. Everything around me is pitch black. I look down and can see my torso and limbs like usual.

"Hello Mark!" Says a familiar sounding voice behind me.

I turn around to see Twilight Sparkle standing there.

"Twilight Sparkle? Did you just say hello?" I ask.

"I sure did. It's nice to finally be able to speak to you."

"Likewise. Mind explaining where we are and why you're speaking my language?"

"Well, we're currently in your mind, and I'm not speaking your language, actually, I'm not even speaking. I'm thinking alongside your own thoughts, you are only translating these thoughts in your own language."

I process the information that was just given to me. Pretty neat and complex for a dream, I must say.

"So what are we doing here?"

"Simply put, I'm here to learn your language. In this state of mind, I can copy any memory or knowledge you have perfectly so long as you give me permission to do so. So, which one of these is yours?"

In the space in front of us, a list of floating text appears. Twilight looks at each one intently.

"There's so many of them! Are there really this many languages where you're from?"

"I guess, probably more. I only know one of them though."

"Well, not necessarily. I can tell a lot of them are incomplete, but it seems at some point in your life you have come across a word and translation for a lot of these languages. So which one is it? Est-il Francais? Oui, tres beaut! En espanol? Muy vigoroso! Ooh! This one's my favorite! Deutch! Machtig abor glatt!"

"Mine would be English, American dialect."

"Ah! Here it is... WHAT? This is beautiful!" Her eyes widen with excitement and she starts lightly bouncing up and down in excitement. "There are so many words here! And the brilliant structure! It's very similar to my own! How is such a language born?"

"Well, English is actually a derivative of several ancient languages luv, mostly Greek and Latin."

"Intriguing! You have to teach me all you know about this sometime."

I look at her with an inquisitive look. She blushes and shys away a bit.

"Oh, sorry. I get really excited about learning new things. It's earned me the nickname 'egghead'. So pleeeaaase teach me?"

"Can do...."

"Alright, I can't sustain this for much longer. I'm going to import as much as I can and then I'll disable our link, okay?"

"Okay Twilight Sparkle. Good luck."

"Please, just call me Twilight."

All vision vanishes.

I open my eyes and see I'm still in the same room as before. I look down to see Twilight's upper half is resting on my chest. I guess she forgot she would pass out along with me. She stirs and her eyes open. She looks at where she's at.

"Oops." she giggles. She attempts to get off me, but something is wrong. It's almost as if she's too weak to do so.

"A little help please Princess?"

At that, Princess Celestia envelops Twilight with her yellow glow and lifts her off of me. She then puts Twilight on her own back and turns to let Twilight face me.

"That took a lot more out of me than I expected. I'm gonna need to rest before we can continue. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

Amazing, she's talking in my language. Of course, I'd be more impressed if this wasn't a dream, but regardless, the idea and process are impressive.

"So long as no one else comes into the room and screams at me. I've never felt uglier in my life!"

She lets out another giggle. Do all ponies giggle like that?

"No more ponies will be in here except for Doctor Red Cross to make sure everything is okay. If anything is wrong just ask him for Princess Celestia here, and we'll come see what's wrong."

"Wait, Princess? Is that what Princess means? It's a title? I thought it was her name."

"Nope, you're receiving the literal royal treatment at the moment. Just don't go anywhere and I'll be back before long. Alright, let's get out of here."

With that, Celestia trots out of the room. Solitude once again. I sigh as boredom quickly sets in. I guess I could sleep again for a couple of hours, but then I risk losing this wonderful dream. I throw off my sheets to get up but quickly pull them back on as I realize I'm naked underneath. Damn, don't they have at least a hospital gown? They probably don't have one for humans I realize. After a moment, Dr. Red Cross saunters into the room.

"Everything okay?"

I shrug.

"Oh, right. Different languages. Anyway, I want apologize for before. I should've been more professional when we first met, but instead I ran out of the room screaming like a little filly. Can you find it in ya' to forgive me?"

I recognize that tone of voice and eye-contact avoidance anywhere. That's the attitude of a man who feels guilty. I think he's apologizing. I'm not sure what for. Maybe he feels like he offended me in some way. I nod and a big smile creeps onto his face.

"Thank you."

He puts his head up high and leaves the room with a bit of pep in his step. Well whatever it is he wanted, my response seems to have made him happy. I guess all there is now is to entertain myself with thought. I let my mind drift...