Learning Life

by Red_Beard

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 26474

Another HiE story. Mark was only home from college for a few days before he was unwillingly sucked into Equestria. Surrounded by technicolor ponies, Mark must deal with the politics and issues that come with being the only one of his species.

Another HiE story.

Mark was only home from college for a few days before he was unwillingly sucked into Equestria. Surrounded by technicolor ponies, Mark must deal with the politics and issues that come with being the only one of his species.

Rated mature because I really don't know what could happen! There's also some adult language.

This is a story that could go literally in any direction I decide to take it in, I'm winging most of it. There will be lots of politics, and potentially any type of event. Writing is a hobby for me, and not something I want to commit myself to, so don't expect frequent updates.

This story will also be VERY long. If I ever finish it, I predict literally hundreds of chapters.

Published 2015-07-02 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-13 07:05:53 UTC

Prologue

Warning: No ponies till chapter 1!

In the blink of an eye, everything can change. So forgive often and love with all your heart. You may never know when you may not have that chance again.

I've always loved that poster on my wall. Its meadow landscape and cursive font clashed entirely too much with the more cold and dark vibe of my room. The walls are a deep black that seem to suck in any available light like the black vacuum of space itself. Any other poster or furniture in the room is of a darker hue, all of which just makes my favorite poster stick out even more. It really shouldn't be called a poster though. In actuality, it's a painting created by my great grandmother, made with such precision and feeling it would make Picasso ashamed of his work. Ok, I may be exaggerating, but its sentimental value makes it that beautiful to me. I've been told to never frame it though. It has something to do with the wear and tear of the piece making the words have a deeper meaning. The message was something that had been passed down in my family for generations, or so I'm told. I've taken the first half of the phrase to heart, but the second half depresses me. I guess it's the invincible young adult part of me that doesn't like to think about that.

I've been sitting in bed for about five minutes since I started having these thoughts. Ugh, it's too early for soul searching. If I keep at this for much longer without caffeine in me, I'll end up with a headache. Groggily, I peel back my blanket and slide slowly out of bed. 8 hours of sleep and I still feel like I haven't closed my eyes in weeks. I grimace at the alarm going off on my dresser. It's truly the perfect metaphor for a love-hate relationship. The alarm clock does everything it can to piss you off in the morning, but without it there, it'd be harder to be at your best, or at the very least, on time.

Normally I'd let the alarm run for a while and listen to my favorite morning show stars. It was a classy morning show with only the finest dick jokes and sexual innuendos. Although crass, it was a nice way to start the morning. Whatever conundrum or dark thoughts happened to enter your life the day before, it all melted away in the witty commentary on the arrest of a man who committed a crime so ludicrous and silly that the jokes practically wrote themselves. Despite that, I just want some peace and quiet this morning. The quiet suits me during summer break when all I want to do is relax. I've never had that exciting of a life and I grew accustomed to solitude.

I begin to stretch all of my limbs simultaneously, provoking a groan loud enough to be mistaken for a yell of pain. I chuckle as I think back to any sleepovers or overnight events where I had done this and caused everyone in the vicinity to come rushing into my quarters believing I was screaming bloody murder. To my family however, it's just a symbol that I'm awake. I admit that it is a bit too loud, but it's not my fault stretching feels so damn good in the morning. I inhale and exhale sharply as the process wears down.

Time to start the morning routine. This is literally my least favorite part of the morning. All of the tedious hygienic actions and precautions that need to be made in the morning are what tear me out of bed. All of it is necessary though. I think if everyone could just roll out of bed without needing to bathe and immediately get their coffee and bacon then start their day, the world would be a much better place. From bed to bacon. Perfection. Maybe I'd actually want to leave my warm bed if it guaranteed immediately receiving bacon.

I turn to my door and sigh. Another inevitable morning of inevitable mundane undertakings. Although it still takes time, I find that letting my mind go numb for the upcoming events makes it bearable. I proceed to walk towards the door and let instinct kick in while my mind sits back.

As I begin to slip back into cognitive thought, I take in my surroundings. I am back in front if my closed room door where I began. Only this time, I have dawned my normal black slip-resistant shoes, white socks, blue jeans, and a red (my favorite color, thank you subconscious) t-shirt with no logos or designs. My skin still feels raw from the ridiculously hot water I had no doubt bathed in. I always took scorching showers. It's not uncommon for me to find a blister or two on my shoulders caused by the scalding hot water. I couldn't tell you why I take such hot showers. Maybe there's some sort of "baptism by fire" metaphor about it. If my showers aren't hot I don't feel clean, which explains why my showers are hot, but not why they're flesh-peeling hot. I open my door and move to the washroom. Steam is still pouring out of the door like a sweat shop. I step inside and look at myself in the mirror.

I scoff as I realize just how long it's been since I've looked into the mirror. When I'm rushing to get ready for morning classes I may glance for a few seconds to make sure everything is where it should be, but it's been a solid 4 months since I last analyzed myself. The first thing I notice is my dark brown hair. If the room isn't well lit, my hair is dark enough to appear black. Right now it is styled in a tangled mess as I have yet to run a brush through it. I don't care or have a preference to any style hair really. I tell the barber to surprise me and I rock what I get. The next thing I notice are my eyes. To any passerby, my eyes look like any other pair of blue, but on closer inspection, one would notice that my left eye actually has a ring of white on the inner iris. Imagine looking at the planet Saturn. If Saturn was black and its rings blue, with space behind it being white, it would look like my eye. My lips are full but not large. They have a nice red color which has caused me to be accused of wearing lip gloss from time to time. Everything else on me is of average size in proportion to my head. I stand at roughly 6 feet.

Two disorders have caused me to not exercise or sleep correctly, and as a result my build is somewhat pudgy. Thankfully my wariness of my weight has kept me from ever becoming obese. I look older. When I first started the fall semester I had a bit of a baby-face still. It seems the stress of a studious college life and losing some weight finally chiseled out my features. Overall I would say I'm decent looking, but I don't have the social life to find out if this is true or not.

After running last checks and brushing my hair, I step out of the washroom and into the living room to be greeted by... no one? I sulk a little as I realize my mom and two sisters are still down south visiting their grandmother. Normally I would go, as no sane man would miss out on Grammy's homemade biscuits and gravy, but everyone made it apparent that it was to be a "girls only" endeavor. I find my phone resting on the kitchen counter and check it for messages. Nothing.

"Well, I suppose no news is good news," I think aloud.

My wallet is sitting next to my phone. I pocket both and begin to head out the front door. It's muggy outside as is to be expected with all the recent rain, but with the pollutants and pollen gone, as well as the cool morning air still lingering, it's easy to breathe. I begin to head down the street towards the nearby diner. It doesn't take long to get there, especially when I have something to think about. I open the front door and head inside. The first thing I'm hit with is the smell of food and the immediate response is a watering mouth. It's at this point I realize I skipped dinner last night. It's a cozy establishment, owned by a local family. The walls are lined with various newspaper clippings and vintage photos giving the place a 1950's look. A redheaded woman dressed on a blue Polo shirt and black shorts comes out of the kitchen.

"Hey Mark! Go ahead and sit anywhere."

"Thank you Heather," I respond.

Heather nods and returns to the kitchen. I head over to one of the booths next to a window sill. The restaurant is always cold and being next to the window during the summer helps. I take a look around the restaurant and take note of the patrons. A couple of faces I recognize, but I don't have a name for them. There are only 7 tables besides mine. Business here was never spectacular, but I guess it was enough to keep the place running. After a few minutes I look up to see Heather approaching my table with an empty mug and a pot of coffee.

"Well howdy Mr. College-man! Long time no see," She remarks with her slight southern drawl.

"Howdy yourself," I respond. "So what's new?"

"Oh," she begins as she pours coffee into the mug. "Not much really. Town's as dull as ever. You should know nothing ever happens here."

"Heh, why do you think I left?"

"Ugh, I would kill to be you, but sadly I ain't got the money or smarts to get a job that'll pay enough to let me out of this dreary place."

"You could do what Jessie did and become homeless. Move from state to state doing odd-jobs."

She laughs. "Yeah, and I suppose I could also lose all self-respect and become an alcoholic while I'm at it. No thank you. Anyway, you want the regular?"

"You still remember after 10 months?"

"How could I forget? Two fried eggs over easy, four bacon strips, two slices of toast, and a glass of OJ."

"Perfect."

"I know I am sugar, but did I get the order right? I'm just joshin' ya. I'll have it right out."

"Thanks luv."

She smirks and rolls her eyes at the pet name and begins to walk back to the kitchen. She had a bit of weight like I did, but in all the right places. Her shorts rode a bit too high on her thighs, but I couldn't complain about the view. She has always been relatively thick and as a result I developed a crush on her my sophomore year even though we had known each other since grade school. Despite her thickness she has been pretty lenient about the clothing she wears. Her shorts are often too short and when she's not working her shirts don't leave much to the imagination either. She's by no means a sleaze though. She didn't care about her image but at the same time respected herself enough so that she didn't sleep with any guy she didn't have a deep affection for. Needless to say, it was pretty hard to focus on studying when she was in the room. On top of that she's a redhead. My one weakness. Suddenly I begin to reminisce about my high school endeavors.

My reminiscing is interrupted by the sound of a plate hitting the table. I look down and see my food is being laid onto the table. I look up and see Heather smiling at me.

"Is there anything else I can get for you sugar?"

"A good porking."

My eyes go wide and I slap both my hands over my mouth as I realize what I just said. Heather just doubles over with laughter.

"I am sooooooooooooooooooooo sorry! I don't know what I was thinking! My mind was just somewhere else!"

"Yeah! In the gutter!" Heather gasps between bouts of laughter.

I feel my cheeks heat up and I look away. Oh god, why. My first time seeing a friend in months and those are the words that manage to slip out of my mouth. Real smooth Mark, real smooth. Heather sighs as her laughter dries up.

"Hey, don't worry about it. It's not your fault I'm so hot. That's not even the worst I've heard. You just enjoy your meal, ok?

I nod and she turns to leave. I swear, she's swaying her hips even more now as she walks away. I turn my attention to the food. Despite my now lost appetite, I begin to mindlessly eat.

As I take my last bite I look up and notice that there isn't anyone else in the restaurant save me and the employees. I look over again to see Heather approaching the table with a black book in her hand. She arrives at my table, but rather than setting down the book, she sits in the booth across from me. Uh-oh. Social interaction.

"So I have to ask; what in the hell were you thinking about to provoke that kind of response?" She inquires.

Damn, I had almost forgotten about my epic fail.

"Well, I was thinking about high school, and I guess I managed to start thinking about the time we had dated for a week. Then you asked the question "

"Well if by date you mean the one week where we had an awkward dinner together followed by six days of you trying to convince me to sleep with you, then sure."

"In my defense, it was like the only thing we hadn't done yet as friends."

"God, you're terrible with women."

"And apparently ten months of being away hasn't changed that at all."

"It probably wouldn't have worked out anyway, especially now that you live a state away."

"True, that and I'm pretty sure if we were in the same room together for too long we'd end up killing each other."

She giggles. "Yeah, we've both kind of been a fire and ice duo."

I stand up and she follows suit, however, she stands a little close to me.

She giggles again. "And you know what you get when you put fire and ice together?"

"A puddle?"

She puts a finger on my chest and leans in far enough for her lips to be right next to my ear.

"Steam," She whispers.

Wow, they should really turn the air conditioner on. I swear it was twenty degrees cooler a second ago.

She straightens back up and puts on a wild smirk.

"Don't worry about the check. Think of it as a welcome home present. And if you're still feeling up to it tonight, give me a call. I've got another welcome home present for you."

I swallow the lump in my throat. "Th..Thanks..." I say, almost a whisper.

"Don't mention it sugar."

She turns and walks away with the same emphasized hip-sway as before. I feel numb. Not from the idea of sex, but from the suddenness of it. Back in town for just 3 days and one of my best friends just offered to have sex with me. I snap back to my senses and leave the restaurant. I pull out my phone and check it for messages. One new message from mom.

Morning sweetie. Sry couldn't make it home. Something came up and we r staying for a few more days. Try not to burn the house down. Love you.

...

Jackpot

I begin the trek home and start flipping through my contacts. I find Kevin and hit the call button.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Kevin, this is Mark."

"Oh shit! Mark? Wow, what's up man? How the hell ya been?"

"I've been doing great. Listen man, I'd love to get together and catch up while I'm still in town, but right now I need a favor."

"Sure my man, what can I do for you?"

"Actually, I wanted to place an order. You got a bottle of Captûre Red?

"Mark! You dog! 'Bout time your boring ass got laid."

"Can it Kevin. You know this isn't the first time."

"Yea, but if I remember correctly, the last time it took 3 shots of tequila and a lost bet."

"Do you have it or not?"

"Of course! Even if I didn't I'd try and find it for ya. So who's the lucky gal? Or guy, depending on how well college is going."

"I don't feel comfortable naming HER. You still live on 27th?"

"Yep, just swing on by any time."

"Thanks, I'll be by in a bit. Talk to you then."

"Hey, before you hang up, if you had a pygmy marmoset, would you prefer it be purple or green?"

"Depends, what's it preceded by?"

"A yellow meerkat."

"Definately purple. Royal colors."

"Of course! Thanks man."

I hang up the phone and begin the walk to Kevins's. Kevin is an interesting man. He's an absolute party animal. Thankfully he has morals, or else he would never have lived to be nineteen. The biggest thing I admired about the guy was that he received more enjoyment out of watching others have fun than having fun himself. He never drinks at his own parties and refuses to let any drug paraphernalia in. If anyone gets too wasted he calls cabs, and he has an amazing gift in stopping quarrels between his patrons. He constantly has a blood alchohol content of .05. He runs on alcohol like a toddler runs on sugar, but unlike the afore mentioned Jessie, he never lets the drink make him belligerent, if it even can.

Once I was pretty sure I saw him down half a bottle of Smirnoff without even blinking. The next day me and Heather took him to the hospital and had them check his liver. When the test came back, it showed that it was healthier than most. He's also outrageously unpredictable. Eventually after hanging out for so long, it got to the point where his random outbursts could be responded to. For whatever reason, when he shouted something out of the blue, I knew exactly what he was referring to. Like the last comment he made. It was pretty obvious he was helping helping to plan a party for a child and was using pages in a coloring book. Probably one about more exotic animals instead of the average dog, cat, and cow. The only thing I don't understand is where he would find such a coloring book.

I get to Kevin's house in record time. The newly found spring in my step made sure of that. I arrive at the doorstep and raise my fist to knock on the door. Just before my knuckle can collide with the door, the door flings open. I brace myself for what I know comes next. Suddenly there is an enormous pressure on my midsection and all the breath is knocked out of me. I tumble backwards and manage to fling the body off that just collided with mine. Thankfully, my attacker didn't collide with my celiac plexus and I was able to recover my breath quickly. I stood up and found my attacker doing the same. We begin to circle each other with our arms up and ready to defend. We circle for a good six seconds but the anticipation makes it feel like an eternity. Finally, my attacker makes the first move. His mistake. He attempts once again to tackle me to the ground. Now that I can see him move, instinct kicks in. The moment he gets close enough I sidestep his attempt at a tackle. He attempts to counteract this by redirecting his weight in my direction so that he at least clips me. His second mistake. This action brings him closer to me and adds even more momentum for me to use. I manage to get my arm underneath him and my other on his back. Using his already forward momentum, I guide his body in a circular motion around mine. I bring out my leg in front if his own. When they collide neither are the Victor and both lose contact with the ground. This sends both of us once again falling towards the Earth, but this time, I fall on top of his body while he gets his face planted into the dirt. In the alloted time, I wrap my arms around his and place one of my hands on the back of his head. My legs pretzel around his, leaving my left leg on top of the pile of tangled limbs, making me in control. I've rendered all of his limbs useless. Now the fun part.

"Say it."

"Fuck voo"

"Say it."

"No!"

"Say iiiit."

"Fine! Unkuh."

"What?"

"Unkuh!"

I lift his head out of the dirt. "What?"

"UNCLE!" He screams.

I chuckle as I untangle our limbs and roll off of his back. I sit up and look over at him. He scrambles to get off the ground and finally manges to sit up. He begins spitting dirt out of his mouth brushing himself off. He leans over and punches me in the shoulder a little too hard.

"Thanks for the dirt sandwich, asswipe."

"Not a problem buttmunch."

....

....

We both begin laughing hysterically. It takes about 5 minutes for us both to come down from our adrenaline fueled laughter. Suddenly my chest begins to feel tight and I start coughing profusely

"Woah man," says buttmunch as he helps me to my feet. "Let's get you inside. Wouldn't want you to die as soon as you got here."

"Thank you Alex."

We get inside and Alex helps me to the couch. He leaves and then comes back with a glass of water. I greedily gulp it down between coughing fits. After a few minutes, the coughing and chest pain die down to a bearable level.

"Alex, *cough* how many times *cough* am I going to have to kick your ass *cough* for you to learn *cough* not to charge me."

"As many times *mocking cough* as it takes *mocking cough* for you to learn to start carrying an inhaler. You know I hate seeing you like this."

"I wouldn't need it *cough* if you didn't assault me every time I came to your house *cough*."

"Which reminds me, why are you here? I happened to be walking by the window when I saw you coming up the street. I knew I had to at least see if college was making you soft."

"*cough* I'm actually here to see your brother *cough*."

"That explains why he went to the cellar. Whatchya buying?"

As if on cue, Kevin emerges from the kitchen. He's holding a very familiar looking bottle.

"Captûre Red," He says with a smug look.

"Mark!" Alex exclaims with a stupid grin on his face. "'Bout time you got yourself some poon."

"Tequila party?"

"Doesn't count."

I roll my eyes and look up at the two brothers. They are twins, quite obviously, but unlike any other pair of twins I know, there is absolutely nothing biological to distinguish the two. No crooked nose, attached earlobes or even scars or moles. As a result, the two created their own way to help others distinguish between them. They both had natural bleach blonde hair. The difference was that Alex had a single dyed streak of cyan in his hair, while Kevin had his ends dyed red (though the lightness of his hair made it look pink). Both had lean figures which, when mixed with their dyed hair, gave them both a relatively feminine look. However, Alex crushed anyone who even dared question his masculinity, and I've known Kevin long enough to realize he's actually quite the lady's man.

They were both adopted at a pretty young age. Thankfully their adopted father took both of them. The man owns a quite successful online liquor business. After the boys turned 16, he started traveling the world for rare alcohol and tasty beverages. Although he'd deny it if asked by the authorities, after he had seen the level of responsibility Kevin showed when he threw parties, he agreed to allow Kevin to use part of his collection to supply the parties so long as he properly cataloged what was used. Kevin quickly became known as the town party animal. Alex was a track and field star. The guy runs ridiculously fast. Sadly, his laziness often made his grades slip and he never got to compete in any major events. Now Kevin makes money planning parties for individuals in and out of town, while Alex is a personal fitness instructor.

Kevin places the bottle in a brown sack and passes it to me.

"*cough* Thanks man *cough*"

"You sure you don't want to wait it out here?"

"Yep. *cough* The sooner I get to my inhaler, the better *cough* So how much do I owe you?"

"Not a dime. Just think of it as a welcome home present. And if you're feeling up to it later, give me a call. I've got another welcome home present to give you."

I cough loudly, this time I can taste iron. "WHAT?"

"You know, a welcome home party!"

I sigh in relief, provoking another cough, as the worst case scenario leaves my mind.

"Alright gentlemen," I say as I stand up and move towards the door. "Good day."

"See ya," both of then say simultaneously as I leave the house.

It's been 3 hours since I called Heather. She'll be here any minute. Right now I'm sitting in the living room. My heart is beating out of my chest. This is just casual, commitment free, non-intimate sex. Just two friends using each other to relieve stress and feel good. So why do I feel so nervous? It's no secret that I have had intimate feelings for her, but when I realized it wouldn't work out, I moved on from it. Or did I? What if I'm not over her? What if we have sex and after I want something else? What if she doesn't share the same feelings? What if I accidentally hurt our relationship? What if I accidentally hurt her? What if in the middle of it my chest bursts open and she's attacked by an alien? What if-

Knock knock knock

Oh shit. She's here. Ok Mark, you got this. Just be cool. Everything is going to be fine. You're just going to have a good time with a beautiful woman and no alien is going to eat her. You can do this. I approach the door and put my hand on the doorknob. This is it. I open the door and-

...

Wow...

Beautiful. That's truly the only word in the English language to describe her. All this time of seeing her as a buddy and a colleague, for probably the first time, I'm seeing her as a woman. She's wearing a brilliant red sheath dress that hugs, nay... caresses her body. Normally someone with her curves and size couldn't pull off such an outfit, but she makes it work. She has her hair down instead of her usual ponytail. It cascades down to her shoulders like a river of fire. The outfit is complimented by a black leather purse and matching dress shoes. Heels make her feel a prostitute.

"Is it too much?" she asks in her sultry alto voice.

All right Mark, say something witty.

"Brahoolamdufarp..."

Brilliant.

"Oooh, I knew I shouldn't have worn this damn thing. What was I thinking? I'm gonna go before I embarrass myself even more."

"No! Nononono. Don't go. What I meant to say was... you look... god... I can't even put it in words."

She blushes. Cute. "You're just saying that..."

"No, really. You look astonishing."

And also really uncomfortable. I've never seen her this insecure before. Could it be she's nervous too? No, there's no way. She's too headstrong to be nervous about being with me... right?

"So are we going to stand here all night while you just catch flies with your mouth?"

Aaaaand she's back.

"Sorry, come on in."

I put my hand on her shoulder and guide her into the house. When we get to the couch I motion for her to sit and she obliges. I head to the kitchen to retrieve the wine and glasses.

"The candles are a nice touch." I hear her say from the other room.

"Yeah, sorry if they're a bit cliche. I know you don't like anything romantic, but I wanted to set the mood a bit."

"Well as long as there aren't any rose pedals leading to your bedroom, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Thank god the florist was out of roses.

"So what are you doing back there?"

I step out of the kitchen holding both glasses in my right hand and the open wine bottle in my left.

"Well, the room helps with the mood, but I thought a bottle of Captûre would do an even better job."

"My my, maybe you DO know a thing or two about women."

I set both glasses on the coffee table and poor both roughly halfway. I set the bottle down, hand her one glass, and pick up the other before joining her on the couch. We begin talking and enjoying the deep red drink. With each sip of the drink, the gap between us on the couch becomes shorter and shorter. We've been talking for about fifteen minutes.

"You know, I didn't even know you owned a dress luv."

She suddenly moved her gaze away from me and tugged at the end of her dress. She really was uncomfortable.

"My aunt got it for me. I don't like to wear it that much."

It dawns on me as I watch her grip the end of her dress. She's used to not wearing much more than a tank top and shorts and the dress actually covers more than her usual geddup does, but a dress is more... accessible. True, the shorts revealed a bit more, but what was revealed was under her control. Wearing this dress means there's a literal gap in her armor. I put my arm around her and pull her in closely which prompts her to look up at me. I set my glass on the table and use my now free hand to brush a stand of her fiery red hair out of her eyes.

"Hey, it's just us here. You don't need to feel insecure around me."

She opens her mouth to object to the accusation, but closes it and sets her own glass on the table. She puts her hand on my shoulder and uses it to pull herself up to my level. She leans in and kisses me. For a moment, it's tender and affectionate, like a kiss you would give to your spouse of several years. The moment goes by and the hormones and alcohol kick in. The kiss moves from tender to wild in just a couple seconds. It doesn't take long for her to position herself on top of me and assert her dominance. She takes over the kiss almost entirely and starts rocking her body ever so slightly against mine. After another moment she breaks the kiss.

"You know, you could be a little more liberal with your hands."

I must have a dumb look on my face because she sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Put your hands on my ass nimrod."

"Oh.. right..."

My mind is still racing at a million miles an hour, but I happily oblige to the once-in-a-lifetime request. She coos lightly and reinitiates the kiss. This time I knead my hands into her and am rewarded every now and then with a soft moan. The massage finally gets to be enough and I feel all of her weight collapse onto me as she relaxes completely. I reach my hands further down and begin to pull up her-

Ring ring ring

Heather lifts her head and looks over at the table.

"Fuck. That's my mom's ringtone," she says bitterly.

"Just let it go to voice mail."

"No, I need to take it. It could be an emergency."

We both sit up and our positioning on the couch makes it so when we sit up she's positioned on my lap. I can't help but play with her rear-end some more as she fumbles through her purse. She pulls her phone out of the bag.

"Oh... fuck that feels good. Alright, stop, I need to answer. Hello?"

...

"WHAT!?" she shouts as she quickly stands up. "Woah woah, ok, slow down. Start from the beginning, what happened?"

...

"Shit... Ok... Ok... I'll be there in a bit."

She hangs up the phone and turns around to look at me.

"My brother was just in a wreck. They had to send him to the E.R. and they're performing surgery now."

I stand up. "Holy shit."

"I've gotta go. I need to see if he's alright," tears begin to fall from her eyes. "And my mom is probably a mess, and what if he's too injured? What if..."

Her voice trails off and I see fear flash in her eyes as she mulls over the worst case scenario. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her into me. She's tense and I can feel her body quivering. After a few seconds she relaxes into me and digs her head into my shoulder. She begins to sniffle and I can deep the warmth of her tears. I stroke her hair and try to get her to calm down.

"Hey, hey hey hey... Everything's gonna be fine. Your brother's going to be ok. Look at me luv."

She pulls her head out of my shoulder and looks at me. I brush some more hair out of her face.

"Listen, your brother is in capable hands, but right now you need to focus on something more important."

She gives me a confused look.

"Yourself. You've been drinking a little and you're panicking and emotional. If you're gonna drive to the hospital, you need to have a level head and be calm. You're useless to your brother if you get in a wreck yourself. Just stop and think for a moment."

She takes a few deep, shuddering breaths and looks down.

"Ok..."

"Good, now, let's get you out of here."

She nods and I grab her purse and guide her out of the house with my arm still on her waist. We get outside and I take her to her car. I would offer to take her myself, but we could never afford to get me a car nor did I have a need for one. As a result, I also never attempted to get my licence. We get to the side of the car and I open the door and put the purse inside. I turn to her once again and put my hands on her waist.

"Now, promise me you'll be safe, alright?"

"Ok..." she says in almost a whisper.

"Good. And hey, for what it's worth, even though it wasn't for long, I enjoyed being with you."

She smiles lightly and looks at me with her deep brown eyes. I lean in and give her one more kiss before watching her get in her car and drive off. Sigh... As much as I hope her brother is ok, I can't help but feel a tinge hurt that the night had to come to such a grinding halt. I head back inside and throw myself onto the couch. I groan and slide my hands down on my face. When my vision refocused I see the two unfinished glasses of wine. Would be a shame to let them go to waste.

After finishing the glasses of wine and putting away the rest in the pantry, I find myself outside walking the sidewalk. The night is clear of any clouds and the moon shines brilliantly in the sky. It's full tonight. I look up and see the stars. I almost forgot how many there were. In the city, all the light pollution makes it so you can only see a few, but out here you can see everything. It's roughly one o'clock, but having such noisy neighbors in college turned me into a bit of a night owl. I won't be feeling tired for a couple more hours. The warm alchohol in my stomach counters the cool nighttime air. Right now I feel nothing more than a small buzz. Though it isn't anywhere near Kevin's, I have a pretty decent tolerance. After the night's events, a walk through the neighborhood sounded great.

The bright moon makes the landscape in front if me relatively easy to see. When I get to the end of the road, I take a left and begin to follow the creek into the green belt. When we were in middle school, me and my friends came here to get away from home. I follow the creek further into the greenbelt and eventually find myself in a clearing.

This is where all of us would come to share stories and forget about our responsibilities for a while. I can still picture the thirteen and fourteen year old brigade of troublemakers laughing and talking in a circle for hours. I smile as I remember the time Kevin had snuck out a bottle of Budweiser and we passed it around taking sips out of it. Everyone except Kevin hated it. He proceeded to slam down the entire thing which got us all to look all him in absolute shock. He looked at us and said "What?" We all watched him for several moments to see what would happen. When we realized nothing was going to happen we began laughing again.

The memory fades and I continue walking on.. I get to the edge of the clearing and-

Shit.

I feel my foot snag on what I assume is either a vine or a tree root. I begin to fall forward. Midway through the fall I realize how this is about to go from bad to really bad. I've kept my hands in my pockets and can't bring the up in time to catch myself. I collide with the ground face first, but just when I think it's over I notice another detail to make this go from really bad to simply terrible: I'm on a steep incline. The force of gravity takes control of my body and I begin to tumble downwards. Dirt fills my eyes and mouth as stones and sticks dig into my body. My entire being aches and I feel the earth relentlessly punching into me. Suddenly, all of the pain stops, save for one spot. I've stopped tumbling and on the back of my head I can feel a sharp and hot excruciating pain. It's like someone heated a hunting knife and was slowly digging it into my skull. I am on my back and looking up at this stars through the trees. I smile when I see my favorite constellation, Orion's belt. I'd love to meet him someday. I wonder if Heather got to her brother safe. Is the underloaf a real body part? Darkness begins to creep into my vision...

I wake up to the faint green glow of dawn. I sit up and am immediately punished for my actions by an immense pain in the back of my head. I reach back and put my fingers on the back of my head. It's warm and sticky. I look at my fingers. Blood. I wipe my fingers on the ground and... wait, dawn isn't green. What the hell? I look around me and notice that everything has a green hue to it. I stand up sluggishly grimacing through the pain. I look around me and try to find the source of the light. I make a slow turn around and make observations. Just some trees, a couple boulders, a giant glowing orb, some bushes. Nothing out of the usua...

I turn to the floating green orb and my jaw drops. The light seems to disperse as if it were being pulled apart from all directions. I step a little closer to the orb. I wince as a sharp pain shoots up my leg. It feels broken. I hop on my good leg to get a bit closer. I feel warmer the closer I get to it. I'm suddenly filled with a weird feeling. No, not a feeling, every feeling. It's hard to describe. It's separate from my own thoughts and emotions. In the back of my head, it's like a total other person going through a checklist of emotion. I focus on it. All the standard emotions are there, but the spectrum seems unbalanced. The happiness and positive emotions outweigh the angry and negative. I look down at my legs and realize I'm getting closer to the light. Interesting. It's not voluntary, but at the same time, I don't want to stop. I feel so warm. It feels better and better as I inch closer.

"Pretty light."

It's in arms length now, but I keep moving closer. I lean in and...

Author's Note

So, this prologue is pretty long. Chapters will vary in length considerably. There will be ponies in chapter 1. Also, please note that I am strongly looking for critique. Even though I view this as a side-project, I'd still like to improve on my writing skills. Updates will be infrequent, UNLESS, I get enough support for it.

Chapter 1: First Contact

Author's Note

As you can tell, this story is told from a first person (pony) view. The perspective will change from time to time. Breaks in events are represented by dashes. After those there will be a name, this name is whoever the next sequence is being experienced by. If there is a break and no name, then assume it's from the perspective of the previous sequence. Although most of the time Mark will be used for perspective, often an outside perspective is needed to better get a point across.

Chapter 1: First Contact

Twilight Sparkle

Bored. How can Twilight Sparkle, princess of friendship, powerful Alicorn and owner of one of the largest libraries in the world, be bored? I roll over onto my back and watch my assistant scribble on the ludicrously long scroll in his claws. We are currently in a large empty room, but it's by no means ordinary. While I'm not taking care of royal duties, fighting war gods in mortal combat, or traveling the continent with my friends, I'm continuing my studies in magic. It is my special talent after all. Me and my mentor both agreed that experience is the best teacher, so together we created this room. Its walls contain a numerous amount of enchantments.

There are several magic nullifying barriers put up to prevent any more dangerous and unstable spells from causing destruction. There is also a time based repair spell. Any structure or being brought into the room that is damaged will return back to a neutral state after a short amount of time. On top of that there's an enchantment that dulls pain. It's directly proportional to any sustained pain, making it so one feels the same amount no matter the injury. There is still a small amount of pain though because It's important to be able to tell if you're missing a limb. Thankfully that hasn't happened... yet.

All of these spells would be wonderful to have on a day-to-day basis, but these enchantments required several days of two Alicorns pouring magic into them to become this potent. I've taken to calling the room Spell-slinger's Retreat.

"Okay Spike, where did we leave off last time?" I ask my assistant.

He scratches his head with the end of his metal quill. "Right in the middle of the I's."

Together, me and Spike had compiled a list of every spell we could find in a book. We alphabetized them and made it a goal to at some point attempt to use every spell. This endeavor began relatively soon after I received my castle. Normally this would excite me. Learning new magic is just a part of my existence. Without magic, I'm not me, but after becoming a princess, the boost in magic has made many spells trivial in their execution.

Spells used to take hours of studying for me to learn, but now my natural abilities have surpassed a certain level of complexity and I find most spells able to be mastered in moments. Sometimes even seconds. However, there are still convoluted and strong incantations. Many of them are too dangerous and risky to be performed even in a room such as this, but those are the ones I want to try the most. There's even more powerful spells in the forbidden wing of the Canterlot library, but even though I'm now a princess and have access to the wing, I know those spells are for emergencies and extenuating circumstances only. Alas, my need for safety and responsibility outweighs my thirst for the thrill of using those spells, and I end up being bored by the simplicity and ease that casting has now.

"Alright Spike, let's begin."

"Well, thankfully we're done with the induction spells. I don't think my mind could take much more of those. If I have to go through another 'induce projectile vomiting' spell, we're gonna have to go back and redo that amnesia spell."

I wince as I remember back to that day. We agreed that I would cast the induction spells on both of us so we could observe and experience the results. Some of them were pleasant, others, not so much.

"The last one I have checked is Inferno, so the next one is Infestation Manifestation. It's in Nature's Ferocity page two-hundred thirty."

I focus and summon the book in front of me. I flip to the page and study the words on it. It's pretty simple really, after one glance I can tell it consists of several small teleports and an invigorator. I can also tell I might need a bath after this. I close the book and return it to its place of origin. I will my magic to make my thoughts a reality. After a few short seconds I feel the magic in me flare up and focus it through my mind and out of my horn. The action feels similar to lifting a heavy object with your hooves and quickly dropping it. After the release a swarm of black insects floods the room. Though I've read plenty of books on insects, I can't identify the species currently flying in the room. The buzz of the creatures in deafening and the whole room is now a black blur. I feel a tingling sensation all over my body, a mixture of the bugs touching me and my own skin crawling from looking at them. After another seven or so seconds, the bugs vanish from the room as quickly as they appeared. I look over and see Spike laying on the ground. Oops, forgot to warn him.

"You okay Spike?"

Spike sits up and spits out a bug that vanishes along with its friends.

"Yeah, just a little grossed out. Jeez Twilight, all you had to do was glance at that one and you could cast it. If you keep this up, you'll be giving Starswirl the Bearded a run for his bits."

"It's true I'm becoming good at learning spells, but I'm still light-years away from creating my own. Anyway, I don't mean to sound big-headed, but can you skip to one that's a challenge?" My boredom is beginning to reach peak levels.

"Hmmm..." The young dragon observes the list and finds a suitable endeavor. "How about Interdimmensional Portal?"

This piques my interest, but I shoot it down after I realize its potential dangers.

"We can't do that one, the results are too unpredictable and risky."

"Well, then how about the next best thing? Interdimmensional Screening."

That actually does sound like the next best thing. I get to use my magic to interact with another dimmension without risking any damage to either plane. On top of that I also get to observe it.

"Sounds perfect, where's the spell?"

"It's in Cosmic Bender's personal research journal, page ninety-five. If I remember correctly the princesses never allowed his personal journals to be published because many of his spells were incomplete or had too large of a risk attached."

Many journals from unicorn researchers were moved from the Canterlot library to mine. Now I'm starting to have second thoughts. There's a reason the journal wasn't published, but if I read the journal carefully and think it over thoroughly, I should be able to confirm the spell's stability.

"Okay then, how about we take a lunch break, and while we're at it I'll verify whether the spell is safe to use."

Spike looks to me with wild eyes. "Oh thank Celestia, I'm starving."

With our stomachs now full, it's time to begin the spell. I've been mulling it over for the last fifteen minutes, and I can tell why the princesses wouldn't want this journal to become public knowledge. Even though it would take somepony gifted in magic such as myself to pull off, if put in the wrong hands, a lot of these spells could devastate life as everypony knows it. The screening spell, however, seems to be safe.

The spell in a sense tears a hole into reality. Cosmic Bender theorized that dimmensions are basically on top of one another. The best way to describe it was an onion, with each layer of the onion being a different dimmenion. It would take weeks of study and calculations to intentionally and consistantly peek into a certain dimmenion, but there exists a vesion of the spell that chooses a random depth to cut at. There's no telling what I'll be able to see. It could range from literally a dimmension of nothingness to an image of an alternate version of myself performing the same tasks I currently am.

"Okay Spike, I need you to stand behind me. Also, you need to keep silent, as this is going to be a frangible procedure and I don't need any distractions until it's complete."

Spike nods to me and quickly scrambles to get behind me. Show time. Unlike the last spell, this one requires a constant stream of magic. A lot of energy is required to make the initial tear, but afterwards the amount of magic needed to maintain it is small, or atleast in theory it is.

I flare my horn and begin to send waves of energy into the open space before me. In my mind I picture hooves constantly trying to tear apart a pool of water. The concept is basically the same. When you try to seperate the water, any surrounding water flows in to fill the gap you just created. The same applies to the physical reality in front of me. The difference is that every time I do it, the structural integrity of that reality is weakened. I feel a slight tug on my magic. This is the most crucial stage. In front of me I have created a vaccum of nothingness. Now I have to peel back the nothingness to reveal whatever dimmension may be behind it. I strain against process. Not surprisingly, trying to delete nothingness is relatively difficult. My body is beginning to ache from the strain. I'm almost at my breaking point when finally there is an enormous let up, but I can't stop now. Now I have to quickly contruct a barrier around the window I've created to prevent this reality from collapsing back in. I push in what I think is a strong enough barrier and open my eyes.

Right in front of me is a miniscule hole. This hole has a color in it that is unlike any color in the room currently. Perfect. Now all I need to do is expand the opening. With just a little more thought and a slight push of magic, the hole expands to roughly the size of a bathroom mirror. Now that the hole is stable and at an optimal size, I slowly begin to relax my magic.As I relax I see the opening tremor and take note of my margin. Just as theorized, little magic is required to keep the gap open. In fact, it's almost negligible.

"Woah" Says Spike from behind me.

Woah indeed. The image in the gap is one of a forest. It's currently night in the vision, but what I assume is moonlight makes many details visible.

"Alright Spike, let's make sure I didn't accidentally create a portal. Go around to the otherside and tell me what you see."

Spike moves from behind me and travels to the other side of the hole.

"I don't see anything. How can that be?"

I giggle with pride at my accomplishment. "It's because a screen is only done using two of the space-time dimmensions. If I were to add the third and fourth, it would create a portal that could be stepped through, but when using two, it can only been seen through from one direction."

Spike moves back around the screen and positions himself next to me.He chuckles.

"It's a little dull isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I expected to see some sort of monster ponies, or maybe some weird lights and weather, but this just looks like a boring old forest.... Wait... what is that thing?"

"What thing?"

"There's like, two black ovals at the bottom of the screen."

I look down and sure enough, at the edge of the screen are two black ovals. I refocus more magic into the screen and pan the vision down. Slowly, a figure comes into view. From what I can tell, the figure has four limbs, a head, and a torso, but all of them are uneven. The black ovals are connected to the end of the figure. From what I can tell it also might be wearing clothing, which if it is, means it's sentient. If it's sentient, then why is it out there alone? Why isn't it moving? Is it sleeping? Does-

Suddenly a sharp pain ravages through my body and I yell.

"Twilight! Are you okay!?"

I can't respond as another wave goes over my body, only this time rather than bringing physical pain, it removes all vitality out of my body.

"What's going on Twilight!?"

My legs buckle underneath me and I fall to the floor breathing hard. What just happened? Whatever it was, I need to get this screen closed. I stop supplying magic to it but it doesn't shut. Now that I've stopped feeding it magic, I can tell what the problem is. The screen is sucking in magic the around it. I can feel myself being drained and look over to see Spike begginning to show signs of fatigue. I look up at the screen and see that it is now glowing a brilliant green color. This is bad. If this screen is sucking in magic like I think it is, then considering I just opened it in a room enchanted to the brim with magic, it might absorb enough to turn into a portal. I gather the energy to stand and glance again into the screen. The creature inside is now moving. This is really bad. At this point I can visibly see the magic from the walls flying towards the gap. If this thing is absorbing magic, then the only way I'm going to close it is if I can produce enough of my own magic at a higher rate than the now forming portal can absorb.

I flare my horn once again and focus my magic. I begin willing the void to close. I push against the invisible force with all of my might. The effects of the strain can be felt in my entire body but I keep going. My vision is slowly beginning to fade and I attempt one last push. A blinding flash of green fills the room. I think I did it. I open my eyes which I didn't realize I had closed and take the breath I didn't know I was holding. I look up. The figure from before is now standing in front of me.

"Pony?"

The figure falls landing on the solid ground. A nap sounds good right now. Darkness takes over my vision.

Spike

I rub the temporary blindness caused by the sudden flash of light out of my eyes and let them readjust. That was super scary. I glance myself over and make sure everything is in place. I feel a bit of fatigue, but as far as I can tell nothing is missing. Now to check the rest of the room. I'm still in the same grey room as before, which is good. Atleast this means I didn't get sucked into another dimmension. Now I can see Twilight. She's laying limp on the floor, but there's something else. It's the thing that was on the screen. It's here, lying motionless next to her. I move over quickly to Twilight and check her over. She's breathing but it seems labored. She also doesn't seem to have sustained any sort of injuries, or at least not ones I can see or help with.

With this information I turn my attention to the odd creature in the room, only, it's not odd. I feel like I've seen something like it somewhere befooOOOOORE! OH MY GOODNESS! It's one of THOSE things, with the portals and the hands and the highschool and the dancing. But what's it doing here? I thought that world could only be accessed with that mirror. Maybe we opened up a sort of backdoor.

Okay Spike, this is no time to theory-craft. I need to get a letter sent to Celestia fast. Horsefeathers, there's no parchment down here, and I can't leave Twilight alone. I look around and see the list of spells on the ground. I guess that'll have to do. I use my claw to seperate a chuck of the scroll off the end. I find my metal quill, flip over the parchment and begin writing.

Princess Celestia,

Twilight's been in an accident and I can't leave her to get help. We are currently in the spell-casting saferoom of Twilight's castle. The events that have taken place cannot be explained via quill and paper, please come as fast as you can and bring a medical expert.

-Spike

Satisfied with my work, I roll up the piece of paper and teleport it to Celestia with my fire. Now the waiting game. I hear a faint shuffling over next to twilight. I move to investigate. Twilight's breath has become more labored. I feel the top of her head. She's... outrageously cold. What in the world? I move around her body once again to make sure she's not losing blood. Everything seems fine, but I don't have a view of anything on her underside.

I move to her backside and flip her over. Wait, she's still warm over here. I begin to feel up the length of her torso. No questioning it, her body becomes more cold the closer I get to her head. This doesn't make sense. I look over to the nearby bipedal body. Maybe this can provide me some answers. I place my claws on the head of the being and... it's incredibly warm. Maybe this is normal? I move to the other side and make a slight tear in its clothing. I place my claw on its exposed leg. It's less warm. I mull this over in my head, letting the mental gears turn. What if...

BEEEEEELCH

I watch as a new letter leaves my mouth along with a flare of green fire. I watch the fire as it...no, that's not right. Normally the fire would dissipate upwards but instead it sinks and moves towards the creature from the portal. As the flame falls on top of it, it dissipates. A switch flicks in my head. I stand up and quickly move back to the lower part of the creature. I grab its two limbs and begin to drag it backwards. Celestia, this thing's heavy. Through much effort I finally move the creature to the furthest wall in the room. I set the limbs down and rush back over to Twilight. I grab her front hooves and do the same, only this time to the opposite wall. When I arrive I let myself fall, succumbing to the strain of lifting the two bodies. I put my claw on her head once again. It's warmer now, still cold, but definately warmer. I can even see some color returning to her face. I glance back over to the creature. Was it... absorbing(?) her magic? I saunter back over to the center of the room and pick up the still rolled scroll from the floor. I open it and begin reading.

Spike,

I am en route with a medical team. Please watch over Twilight in the meantime.

-Celestia

I've never seen a letter this short from the princess. She must be just as worried as I am. Nothing left to do now but sit and think of what I'm going to tell Celestia when she gets here.

Chapter 2: Bridging Culture

Mark

I wake with a start. The last thing I remember clearly is tumbling down a hill followed by an excruciating pain on the back of my head. I also remember the craziest dream where I touched a bright green light and then saw a purple winged unicorn. I have such an active imagination. I glance around at my surroundings. It's quite obvious someone found me in the woods and brought me to a hospital. I'll have to thank them deeply later. The room looks standard of a hospital room. Most things are either a grey-blue color or white. The only bit that stands out is the small table across from me that has a pot of flowers on top of it. I stretch my arms out and....

No, let's try that again.

I stretch my arms out and...

Okay body, this time, do what I ask.

I stretch my arms out and... why won't my arms move? I look down at the offending appendages and notice what the issue is. I'm shackled to the bed. Alright, no need to panic, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for this. I must have punched my doctors while I was unconscious. Yeah, that's it, I must have been having a nightmare and accidentally punched a couple nurses or doctors. I'll wait for one of the nurses to come by and he or she will get me out of these, no sweat.

"And then he said, 'To hay with it, I'll make my own theme park. With blackjack, and hookers!'"

Perfect, there's someone coming right now. The voice rounds the corner and in front of me now stands a... horse? No, it's not a horse. If anything it's technically a pony, but even that's kind of a stretch. It's got a lot of the same attributes a pony does. It has hooves, pointed ears, a mane, a tail, toned legs and posterior, and a muzzle (albeit a small one), but that's where the similarities stop. Its eyes are large and full of life, its coat is a virgin and unsoiled white while its mane is a brilliant shade of red, not unlike that of a rose. There's a red cross on its rear-end engulfed by a blue circle. I stare directly at him (or atleast I assume it's a he, but I can't be sure without a comparison) and he stares back at me with an equal amount of curiosity. We both sit motionless for what feels like an eternity. Finally, he hesitantly takes a step closer. I don't react. He takes another with just as much caution. Ever so slowly, he makes his way to the foot of my bed and remains still. Neither of us have broken eye contact. I open my mouth.

"...hi?"

This startles him and prompts a yell, which in turn startles me and causes me to yell. He bolts out of the room faster than seems physically possible. Well that was an experience. Was that what I heard talking earlier? No, it couldn't possibly be. It's probably the pet of one of the doctors. You know, one of those animals they bring into hospitals to help kids with terminal illness. Yeah, that seems like a perfectly logical and sane explanation for what I just witnessed. Once the doctor sees the animal leaving my room in a panic, he'll come investigate. Now I wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

After centuries of waiting (seven minutes) I can finally hear more voices in the hallway. I can distinguish between two, both feminine.

"...need to approach this situation with caution. He's waking up in an unfamiliar place chained to a bed. There's no telling how he may react."

"I know princess, but from my experience none of them are inherently malicious."

I can't make out what the voices are saying, but they are relatively soothing to listen to. The two voices round the corner and.... you've got to be kidding me. In the room now stands two more ponies. One is significantly larger than the other. This one has a coat just as pure white as the last one, but her mane is a translucent rainbow that seems to defy gravity and waves in a non-existent breeze. The other one looks familiar... AH! It's the one from my dream! So it stands to reason that I'm still dreaming. I suppose I could wake myself up, but I kind of want to see where this goes. The shorter pony has a lavender coat and a deep purple mane. The mane has a streak of lighter purple and a streak of pink running through it. Both of them are currently wearing a type of tiara and both have a horn as well as wings on their backs. The white one has golden necklace on and also has what looks like a sun on its rear-end. The small purple one has what looks like a pink and purple star on hers. (definitely female, more curvy and a more feminine snout, not to mention the voice I heard earlier if it indeed came out of her mouth). I can't determine the tall one's gender, as it has a more feminine charm but seems to put out a more masculine radiance. Perhaps I'm mistaking masculinity for power, but based on the voice I heard earlier, it would probably be safe to assume it's female as well. My mind is a very interesting place.

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle, would you mind telling me your name?" the purple one speaks.

Okay, she's clearly trying to speak, most likely to me, but I can't understand a word she's saying. My brain's not broken is it?

"Would you please tell me your name? Do you have a name?" she speaks again.

Interesting. The sounds coming from her mouth seem structured and coherent. Not the mention with the way her mouth moves, the sounds are intentional. Is she speaking a different language?

"I can't understand a word you're saying." I retort.

The purple pony gives me a confused look and then turns her head to the larger pony and whispers something I can't make out.

"Would you mind repeating that?" responds the purple pony.

This is tricky. I can't understand her, but since this is dreamland there's no way of knowing if she understands me. Alright, if there's a language barrier to overcome here, it's best we both know that it exists. I assume the best way to do that is to say a lot of things and see if she responds to any of them. They'll have to be terms that provoke pretty clear and concise responses though.

"Fuck you. You're an idiot and I wish you would die. If I had my way, I'd tear out your insides put them on a grill, ship your hooves to a glue factory, and then feast on your flesh."

No such luck. She's still giving me the same confused look as before. The two of them share another concerned glance. Suddenly, the horn on the purple one's head glows and a clipboard and quill flash into existence in front of her. Is that what happened? I think so... Definitely dreaming. I watch as the quill begins to move across the clipboard on its own. Was she causing that? I glance at the horn on her head that's still glowing. Of course. She can use magic, duh. The two equines begin conversing with each other again.

"Well, this is certainly an impasse I didn't predict," states the purple pony.

"Very interesting. I thought these creatures spoke Equish. At least that's what it stated in your report to me from your escapades." the tall white one retorts.

"They did. Maybe my assumption that the dimension he's from is different from that one is true. That would explain his different interaction with magic."

"Well, thankfully it doesn't look like he wishes to harm us. In fact, he seems to be taking this in stride. He's woken up in a strange world and is being talked to by a completely different species than his own. He didn't even flinch when you flared your magic," giggle. "In fact, it may even be that he thinks he's dreaming. Denial would be a perfectly reasonable defense mechanism to fall back on at this moment."

I clear my throat and interrupt their conversation. I'm getting restless. I use my index finger to point at the shackles on my wrist and give the best quizzical look I can. The two give each other a concerned look. A moment of back and forth wordless conversation passes between the two. The large pony turns her attention to me and a yellow light engulfs her horn. The same light takes over my shackles and then they vanish. Fantastic.

This is long overdue.

I stretch and let out one of my patent-pending stretch shouts. Although I tone it down a notch, it doesn't stop the sound from startling the two. They both jump. After they recollect themselves they move into a defensive position, ready for any attack I may attempt on them. Rather than doing that I finish my stretch and flop back down onto the bed. I lift my head up and see the two still glaring daggers at me. I can't help it, I start laughing. They're just so colorful and cute! Here they are both ready to fight me as if I was some planet destroying menace. Both of these scenarios are incredibly silly and I can't help but break down into laughter. I can't tell what's funnier, the way they're looking at me or how willing they are to fight me. I let my laughter dry up and proceed to sit back up. I look at the two. They seem to have relaxed. At least laughing is universal.

Alright, time for formalities. I point to myself.

"Mark." I say firmly. I reemphasize my finger point. "Mark."

The purple pony nods and repeats the name. I then point to her.

"Twilight Sparkle." She says matter-of-factly. I repeat it. It sounds like a full name, but in case it isn't I'll address her as such. I now point to the large pony.

"Princess Celestia." Says she. Again, I repeat the words spoken. Step one of social interaction is done. Now to break the touch barrier. I put my hand out the side of the bed and look between it and Twilight. She looks up at Princess Celestia.

"It should be okay so long as you aren't close for too long. The effect is gradual and requires prolonged exposure it would seem." remarks Princess Celestia.

Twilight Sparkle warily walks over to my hand. I thought we were past the potential danger part of this, but the concerned look on her face as she approaches says differently. She gets close to my hand and sits on her hind-quarters. Rather than sniffing my hand like I assumed she was going to do, she lifts her hoof and places it on my hand. I grip it and shake it up and down... did I just do a handshake with a pony? I release her hoof and motion for her to move closer. She hesitates, but obliges. At this distance I can see her features much more clearly. I slowly reach my hand out again. This time I let it rest on her muzzle. I see panic flash in her eyes, but she calms as I let my hand rest for a few seconds. I glide my hand across her head and come to a stop on her cheek. I let it sit for a few seconds before raising it off and moving next to her ear. I lightly snap my finger and as expected her large ear flicks. I move my hand to the other ear and repeat the process receiving the same results.

I now put my hand on her forehead. I have a theory. I can't help but shake the feeling that it might not be a good idea to touch her horn. The same way a girl you just met wouldn't want you to touch her feet, among other things. I start rubbing her head, careful to avoid the horn. Her eyes widen in surprise. I'm afraid she'll tear away, but in fact, she does the opposite. She leans in slightly further, a hint to amp up the pressure. She closes her eyes, definitely enjoying the pet. It's absolutely adorable. I move my hand behind her ears and begin to scratch. She gasps in surprise, but based on the fact she doesn't move away, I'd say it's a good thing. I finish the session and return my hand to my lap. As I move my hand away, her head moves slightly towards it, obviously not wanting the process to stop. She opens her eyes and looks at me once again. I give her a warm smile which she returns. She then turns around and walks back to Princess Celestia.

"What was that about?"

"I don't know, but it felt... strangely comforting. Something tells me we don't have anything to worry about."

I look at them both and they return the gaze.

"Well Twilight, it seems he trusts you. I don't suppose you could help break down this communication wall?"

"Hmm.. Well, it would take a while to teach him Equish, but I'm pretty certain that if you give me a bit of a boost, I can transfer the knowledge of HIS language to myself and I can act as translator. Normally I would impart my own knowledge onto him, but given he doesn't have magic, it most likely won't work."

"Very well, you can begin the process. I'll keep you supplied with magic so he doesn't drain you completely."

I still don't understand a word they're saying, but it doesn't really matter. I watch as Twilight once again comes over to my bed, only this time, she puts her front hooves on the bed and tilts her horn towards my head. Her horn flares up with its purple glow and I suddenly feel suuuuuper sleeepy... Nighty-night.....

I look around and see darkness on all sides. Everything around me is pitch black. I look down and can see my torso and limbs like usual.

"Hello Mark!" Says a familiar sounding voice behind me.

I turn around to see Twilight Sparkle standing there.

"Twilight Sparkle? Did you just say hello?" I ask.

"I sure did. It's nice to finally be able to speak to you."

"Likewise. Mind explaining where we are and why you're speaking my language?"

"Well, we're currently in your mind, and I'm not speaking your language, actually, I'm not even speaking. I'm thinking alongside your own thoughts, you are only translating these thoughts in your own language."

I process the information that was just given to me. Pretty neat and complex for a dream, I must say.

"So what are we doing here?"

"Simply put, I'm here to learn your language. In this state of mind, I can copy any memory or knowledge you have perfectly so long as you give me permission to do so. So, which one of these is yours?"

In the space in front of us, a list of floating text appears. Twilight looks at each one intently.

"There's so many of them! Are there really this many languages where you're from?"

"I guess, probably more. I only know one of them though."

"Well, not necessarily. I can tell a lot of them are incomplete, but it seems at some point in your life you have come across a word and translation for a lot of these languages. So which one is it? Est-il Francais? Oui, tres beaut! En espanol? Muy vigoroso! Ooh! This one's my favorite! Deutch! Machtig abor glatt!"

"Mine would be English, American dialect."

"Ah! Here it is... WHAT? This is beautiful!" Her eyes widen with excitement and she starts lightly bouncing up and down in excitement. "There are so many words here! And the brilliant structure! It's very similar to my own! How is such a language born?"

"Well, English is actually a derivative of several ancient languages luv, mostly Greek and Latin."

"Intriguing! You have to teach me all you know about this sometime."

I look at her with an inquisitive look. She blushes and shys away a bit.

"Oh, sorry. I get really excited about learning new things. It's earned me the nickname 'egghead'. So pleeeaaase teach me?"

"Can do...."

"Alright, I can't sustain this for much longer. I'm going to import as much as I can and then I'll disable our link, okay?"

"Okay Twilight Sparkle. Good luck."

"Please, just call me Twilight."

All vision vanishes.

I open my eyes and see I'm still in the same room as before. I look down to see Twilight's upper half is resting on my chest. I guess she forgot she would pass out along with me. She stirs and her eyes open. She looks at where she's at.

"Oops." she giggles. She attempts to get off me, but something is wrong. It's almost as if she's too weak to do so.

"A little help please Princess?"

At that, Princess Celestia envelops Twilight with her yellow glow and lifts her off of me. She then puts Twilight on her own back and turns to let Twilight face me.

"That took a lot more out of me than I expected. I'm gonna need to rest before we can continue. Will you be okay here by yourself?"

Amazing, she's talking in my language. Of course, I'd be more impressed if this wasn't a dream, but regardless, the idea and process are impressive.

"So long as no one else comes into the room and screams at me. I've never felt uglier in my life!"

She lets out another giggle. Do all ponies giggle like that?

"No more ponies will be in here except for Doctor Red Cross to make sure everything is okay. If anything is wrong just ask him for Princess Celestia here, and we'll come see what's wrong."

"Wait, Princess? Is that what Princess means? It's a title? I thought it was her name."

"Nope, you're receiving the literal royal treatment at the moment. Just don't go anywhere and I'll be back before long. Alright, let's get out of here."

With that, Celestia trots out of the room. Solitude once again. I sigh as boredom quickly sets in. I guess I could sleep again for a couple of hours, but then I risk losing this wonderful dream. I throw off my sheets to get up but quickly pull them back on as I realize I'm naked underneath. Damn, don't they have at least a hospital gown? They probably don't have one for humans I realize. After a moment, Dr. Red Cross saunters into the room.

"Everything okay?"

I shrug.

"Oh, right. Different languages. Anyway, I want apologize for before. I should've been more professional when we first met, but instead I ran out of the room screaming like a little filly. Can you find it in ya' to forgive me?"

I recognize that tone of voice and eye-contact avoidance anywhere. That's the attitude of a man who feels guilty. I think he's apologizing. I'm not sure what for. Maybe he feels like he offended me in some way. I nod and a big smile creeps onto his face.

"Thank you."

He puts his head up high and leaves the room with a bit of pep in his step. Well whatever it is he wanted, my response seems to have made him happy. I guess all there is now is to entertain myself with thought. I let my mind drift...

Chapter 3: Rude awakening

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 4: Lesson on Life

"No." Twilight says frantically. "That's not right. You can't be dead, we're talking right now. Your heart is beating and you're breathing."

"Calm down luv, it's just a theory, but it would explain my sudden reliance on your magic to perform an action."

"But we extracted all the magic out of you, doesn't that mean you were at one point keeping yourself alive?"

"Did you extract all of the magic out of me? You said earlier that you kept me in the room with the stone until my body temperature was at a good spot. If I'm dead, than that means my body temperature shouldn't be in the nineties, it should be in the seventies. Did you and the doctors check to see if there was any magic left?"

"No, we couldn't. Checking for magic requires magic."

"Well, now that we know how to remove it and I am healthy enough, you may do a check on me."

She looks nervous, but shakes her head and begins the spell.

"Oh, sweet Celestia. Mark... you're... radiant."

I don't know whether to be concerned or take that as a compliment. Perhaps a little of both?

"Every inch of you has some form of magic attached to it. I can even see wisps detaching from me and traveling to you."

My interest piques. "Any way you can cast it on me?"

"If you don't think it's too risky."

"Well, everything we do is risky, but life's about taking risks. In this case quite literally."

She does the pony equivalent of a shrug and her horn glows once again. My eyes begin to sting and I rub them. When I open them back up...

Wow...

Everything around me now has a slight blue hue to it with the exception of Twilight. She is a vibrant, brilliant blue. It's a little taxing on my eyes to look at her. It's hard to make out any of her feathers, almost as if I'm looking at a two-dimensional blue silhouette. I lift my hand to look at it and nearly go blind. I have to squint my eyes to look at it for more than a second. It's extremely bright and the same color as twilight. The biggest difference I've noticed is that I really do radiate blue. I assume this is the collective magic I'm absorbing before it actually goes into me. I look into the air between me and Twilight and notice slight shimmers of blue traveling from her to me.

"Alright, let's fine tune this a bit. Is there an x-ray vision spell you can give me? Preferably one that only lets me see through skin and blood."

She tilts her head but I can't make out the expression on her face because I can't see it.

"I think I can do that."

Her horn glows again, but I'm not ready for it. The glow from the horn is like a flashbang. I hold my eyes shut hard and wait for the pain to dissipate.

"A little warning next time."

"Well you're the one that asked for it," she says with a slightly condescending tone.

The sauce is real.

I look over at Twilight again and take a couple mental notes on the locations of vital organs. I guess the anatomy isn't all that different from my world's horses. Everything on her is still a consistent tone. Even her horn and head have the same tone as the rest of her body. Interesting. I examine myself and what I see somewhat confirms my suspicions. I can see my heart and lungs. Both of these are bright, brighter than when I looked at my body originally. I'm certain that if I could see my thyroid gland it would be the same. All of my muscles are less bright. I once again do a squat and as I do so I see the muscles lose glow briefly and regain it after a few seconds of rest. It wasn't that difficult, most likely because of the magic that was recently used on me. The last thing I notice is what makes me freeze. My other organs (kidney, liver, stomach, etc.) are all even less bright than my muscles. I assume without food or waste to process and filter, they've all been deemed unnecessary. Thankfully they still have a faint glow, which tells me that they may still function, just inadequately.

"Alright Twilight, I've seen all I need to."

Twilight gives a nod and then, DAMNIT MY EYES! After I rub the white out of them I look around the room. Everything is back to the way it was.

"Well, this means that I'm right, at least in the sense that my body is weak without magic."

"Pony feathers! Does this mean you have to have magic to survive?"

I smirk. Oh the irony. "It would seem that way, but I'm hoping that I'll be able to wane myself off of it. If so, we're going to have to be vigilant about it. My stomach no doubt can't hold the same capacity it used to, and my body could end up rejecting a lot of things."

"Okay, so then, how do we deal with it?"

"I'm going to need the absolute nutritional basics. The most we should put in at the moment is glucose. Basic sugar to help me absorb other nutrition we'll do later on."

"Basic sugar... so... fruit?"

"Yep, but even that's too much for me at the moment. We'll have to do just juice, but we'll have to start out heavily diluting it with water, lest we risk my body or the magic seeing it as a foreign object and just passing it on as waste."

"You seem to know quite a lot about this kind of thing, is this common knowledge where you're from?"

"Well, I actually enjoyed my general ed. classes. My twelfth grade psychology teacher took a liking to calling me 'Sponge' cus I absorb information."

"Interesting. Well Mr. Sponge, what's the best fruit to make this juice with?"

I chuckle. "Sorry, wish I could tell you. I guess we'll just go with my favorite, apple-juice. It'll have to be fresh, no magic can be used to make it. You guys do have apples here, right?"

A huge grin appears on Twilight's face. It's very... confident. Almost... gloaty?

"We do indeed!"

"Do you know where to get them?"

"Oh... I know a gal. Stay put, it shouldn't take me too long."

With that, she walks out of the room. Alone again with my thoughts.

I could die any second of starvation, dehydration, or magic overload. But the only thing I'm concerned about is dying of boredom. There's nothing to do in here! I can't leave the room because I doubt a human roaming the halls would be very healthy for the psyche of any poor bastard that sees me. It's been eight hours since Twilight left. I would like to say that, but in reality it's probably only been an hour and a half. I'm pretty sure I could've cured cancer by now with the proper tools. I've counted the ceiling tiles nine time (one-hundred and twenty-four, for those curious). Suddenly I hear a giggling. I look up and see Twilight. My prayers have been answered.

"Hey Twilight, why are you upside down?"

She giggles once again. "I'm not the one upside down."

I look at myself and realize that I'm sprawled out on the recliner in the room with my head hanging over the front and my legs spread on either side of the back. I scramble to get myself upright and fail miserable. Now I'm on the ground with my face on the floor with my legs dangling over my head. This prompts another snicker from Twilight. I finally manage to get to my feet.

"Please rescue me from my prison of boredom!"

"Sorry there's not much for you to do, but we might be able to change that soon enough. Bring it in."

Now a cart appears from behind Twilight. The cart is being pushed by Doctor Red Cross. He brings it to the center of the room. On top of the cart is a large, clear (crystal?) pitcher of water. Next to it is a small vial of a yellow-orange liquid, a wooden spoon, and a glass cup.

"Honestly Doctor, I could have wheeled it in myself," Twilight states.

"Nonsense Princess Twilight. I understand you're perfectly capable, but it just didn't feel right to not help."

That word, princess, I've heard that a couple times before, but where?

As soon as Red Cross leaves the room, Twilight lets out an "Uuuugh" and rolls her eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry, I just didn't want his help, but he insisted."

"I don't see how that's a bad thing."

"It's... complicated."

"What isn't at this point? So whatchya got for me?"

"Only the best apple juice in all of equestria! Go ahead!"

I walk over to the cart and pick up the small vial and uncork it. Immediatley the scent of apples rushes into my nostrils like a flood. It's maddening. My body is starting to come to terms with how long it's gone without food. It takes every ounce of my will power to not chug the liquid. I look over at Twilight who once again has dawned a contemptuous complexion. I take the vial and pour a quarter of the juice into the pitcher of water. Next I take the wooden spoon and begin to stir the pitcher. Next I pour a glass. I look over at Twilight again, but this time she looks... shaken. Something's not right, but who cares? I bring the glass to my mouth and take a sip.

"Oh, sweet Mother Teresa on the hood of a Mercedes Benz, that's good."

The liquid is oh so sweet. I assume that if it was just another normal day, it wouldn't taste that great, but right now, it's the best thing in the world, the nectar of the gods. My body has been longing for water and didn't even know it until now. It takes all of my willpower once again to not just begin chugging the liquid. I take slow steady sips, careful not to gorge myself. I get about halfway through the glass when I remember something, Twilight. I look back over to her and she sobs. Her ears are down and she's sitting with her head low. What in the world?

"Twilight? What's wrong?"

She shys away even more and says quietly, "I really didn't appreciate that, Mark."

"What are you talking about?"

"The way you yelled at me."

"When did I-" suddenly I remember. Oh no. After I had opened the vial, Twilight began talking about how she obtained the juice, but at that time, all I cared about was the drink. I had turned to her when she started talking and yelled at her to be quiet in a less than flattering way. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Oh, no no no no, Twilight... No... I didn't mean that, I'm so sorry. Holy shit..."

Twilight sobs once again and wipes a tear from her eye. I feel like a monster. I set the glass down, walk over to her and kneel down. She shifts uncomfortably, but doesn't move.

"Hey, hey... look at me, luv." She looks up, but diverts her eyes from mine. I place my hand on her cheek and use my thumb to wipe away another tear. I feel so bad. "Listen, I didn't mean anything I said. That wasn't me. I went primal. I would never say anything to hurt you on purpose. I had no idea I would react to the water like that. My body just realized that it needed to survive and instinct took over. Can you please, PLEASE, forgive me?"

"I forgive you..."

Now she does something I didn't see coming. She lunges forward into me, embracing me in a kind of make-shift hug. Something I assume is a bit difficult without arms.

"You really scared me Mark. For a second I thought you were going to hurt me."

"I would never, got that?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Good."

I pull out of the hug and look at Twilight again. She looks to have calmed down a lot.

"Something tells me we're going to need to have a talk about humans pretty soon. There's a lot we're going to have to learn about each other if I'm going to be here a while."

"Okay." She shakes her head vigorously.

"Now then," I stand up and move back to the cart, "I'm going to enjoy some more, why don't you tell me again about how you came across it."

"That's not necessary, we don't have to talk."

"No, I'm genuinely interested. Twilight, regardless of what you had said a second ago, I still probably would have snapped at you. It was a one time thing. I really do want to know, especially considering how confidently you seemed to think I would like it."

"Alright, well, it just so happens that I'm best friends with a mare whose family owns one of the largest apple farms in Equestria."

"Apple farm? Do they only grow apples?"

"Well, it's ninety percent of what they raise. They have orchards that span several acres. They produce other stock for the local town, but the only export they have are apples and apple related products. Apple pies, apple jam, apple fritters, they make it all."

"Sounds tiring. How many ponies do they have working the estate? Ten? Twenty?"

"There's four."

I almost drown drinking my water.

"WHAT?"

"Well, they hire ponies every now and then to take care of infestations or other things, but there's only four that harvest and package. All of them are family. Three siblings, two sisters and one brother, as well as their grandmother."

I shake my head. Maybe the farm's not that big. There no way four ponies could take care of a farm the size I'm thinking of, especially if their technology is at the level I think it is.

"Well, they have my regards. Even though it's watered down, this is some damn tasty juice. Maybe I'll get to meet them?"

"I think that could happen sooner than you think."

One glass seems to be all I can handle. My stomach already feels like it's about to burst. I frown, I don't want to stop. It tastes really good, but I could do a lot more damage if I don't. I set the glass back on the tray.

"Done already?"

"Yep, it's tasty, but I can only handle one I think."

"Well then, if you're feeling better, then I think it's time."

"Time for what?"

"I'm gonna get you out of this room for a little while."

"Wait, are you serious!?"

"Indeed! It's not going to be the most exciting thing in the world, but you'll atleast get to roam the halls."

"I could kiss you right now."

She blushes. "Well I-I-I doobashoo..."

Oh lord, she took that seriously.

"I'm just messin' with you, luv. Let's stop standing around and get going."

"R-Right! Let's get going!"

She exits the room quickly and I follow suit. Thank god I'm getting out of the room. Thanks to the extra bit of magic Twilight pumped into me, I'm walking pretty fine. I step out into the hallway for the first time and-

Sweet sassy molassey. I can't even.

Calling this a hallway is like calling a B-52 a paper airplane. The ceiling is easily over twenty feet tall. Along the wall are ceiling tall tinted windows, none of them with any discernable patterns, but that doesn't make it any less beautiful. The floor is marble, carved and waxed. In the center of the floor is a maroon-trimmed, red carpet with an illustrious pattern of gold that reflects the light. Several doors line the wall opposite the windows. The walls on the side with the doors is a shade of light purple. From the walls hang several tall banners of multiple colors.

"Twilight, where are we?" I ask.

"Remember how I told you that you were receiving the royal treatment? Well, right now we're in Canterlot Castle. Home to the highest power in all of Equestria."

"You mean to tell me, I've been residing in a castle this whole time?"

"Yes you have, now close your mouth before you catch flies. Let's get out of here."

"O-Ok..."

I begin following her again. We take several bends and corners, but it all looks the same.

"Wait, this isn't right," Twilight says suddenly.

"I'll say, I'm pretty sure we've passed this speck before."

"We have. These hallways have an enchantment on them that makes it so anyone unauthorized gets lost, constantly being redirected to different parts of the castle, but never the important parts. Eventually they get found by the castle gaurds and either escorted out or thrown into a dungeon. I don't think you've been recognized by the enchantment, if you even can be."

"So how do we get around then?"

"Well, there's probably a more permanent solution, which would involve reworking the enchantment entirely so that it can recognize your negative magic state. I'm gonna have to put a shield of my essence around you. It seems like everything I do to help you just brings you closer to death. Let's just hope you don't absorb it all before we can get to the courtroom."

"Courtroom?"

"It's where Celestia holds Day Court. There's nothing on the agenda except one thing today though, so she's only taking walk-in requests."

"What's the one thing?"

"You."

"Oh."

Author's Note

So, I'm not very confident in the whole "going primal" scene, so if I should remove it, let me know. It's not very vital to the story, it just felt right at the time I was writing it. Thanks again bros and broettes for reading. Drop a like if you haven't. It keeps me balanced with important vitamins and minerals.

Chapter 5: Friendly Conversation

Twilight's horn flares and a bubble of translucent purple magic appears around me.

"Let's try this again."

I follow twilight around the corner once again, but this time, the hallway is completely different.

wut.

This is too weird. The last time we did this we ended up in a hallway that looks completely similar to the first. Or, maybe it was the same hallway? Glad I didn't pay too much attention or I might have seen myself leaving the same hallway. That would have been twice as freaky. Eventually we find ourselves in a large chamber. At the back end in the center is a staircase with a large throne on top, decorated with gold and symbols of the sun. In the center of the room are two crescent shaped enormous tables. There are chairs on the outer edge of the tables. The break between the two tables has the same red rug laid down leading straight up to the throne. The throne is golden with red trimming. The throne is decorated all over with depictions of the sun. Some of them more realistic in nature and others more cartooned with squiggly tendrils. Two guards stand on either side of the throne, wearing golden (maybe bronze if the light is playing tricks on me) armor. Each have a white coat and blue mane. On top of the throne sits a familiar large white pony.

"Greetings Mark, and hello again Twilight," says Celestia.

"Thank you princess," responds Twilight... in English.

Wait, did Celestia also speak English?

"Twilight, did you teach the princess how to speak English?" I inquire.

"No, this room is a crucial one. Celestia holds council here with many different races and cultures. To make things easier, an enchantment was put in the room to create a universal translator. She's not speaking English, but you're hearing what she's saying as it. I stopped by earlier on my way to your room and stored my knowledge of the language into the enchantment. It was a bit hasty, but it seems to have worked."

I nod to show my comprehension. This magic thing is just full of surprises.

"Cool," I state. "Well, how's it going Celestia?"

The room falls silent. Both guards and Twilight drop their mouths at the same time. Celestia lets out a giggle.

"Pretty dreary thus far. Normally I'd have a lot of work to do, but my schedule is relatively empty today. There was one issue with two of the guard duty though."

"Do tell."

"Where do I begin? The two have been at each others throats for the better part of the season now, and today I guess they decided to escalate it. They were interrupted before anything got physical."

"Ugh, workplace drama. Did you get it settled?"

"Indeed."

I look down at the two guards. Both of them have dropped their looks of disbelief and have replaced them with ones of guilt

"You put them on the same shift didn't you?"

She giggles once again. "But of course."

"And you've managed to put them right where boss-lady can watch them. You are quite the cunning manager Princess."

Celestia holds her head up a little higher.

"My my, flattery this soon. Though, it's not my place to get a big head about it. Thank you for the compliment Mark."

I look to my side and see Twilight still standing there with her mouth gaping open, eyes wide with disbelief.

"Close your mouth luv or you'll catch flies," I repeat what she said to me earlier.

"But.. but but but... b-but, you.. and and a-and s-she... What?"

"I think we broke Twilight."

"It's alright Twilight," Celestia begins. "You're used to seeing me only talking with subjects and dignitaries from other governments. Mark here is one of the rare exceptions where he is neither a diplomat or a citizen. Though he may choose to do so, it's not his duty to be formal when addressing me. In fact, he can say just about anything he wants to so long as it's not a threat to anyone. Perhaps I may have accepted it a bit too openly, but he chose for his first conversation with me to be laid back and open."

She's undeniably intelligent. Though she looks young, her experience seems to be immense. In all honesty, I was hoping for a more 'How dare you?' pretentious kind of response, but she has thoroughly impressed me. It looks as though politics are going to be easy here.

"So did I meet your expectations Mark?" asks Celestia.

"You exceeded them. Sorry if I may have come on a bit strong. Where I come from, a lot of politicians and royalty come off as snobby and pretentious A lot of the time I find that putting a shock value into your actions can reveal a lot about someone you're meeting. It seems you and I are going to get along just fine Princess Celestia." I bow slightly on and emphasize the word princess.

"Well Mark, there are a lot of things we need to discuss. Several of them we won't get to cover today, but the most important ones we can. Before we begin I need to ask you a question. Many of the things I'm about to tell you won't be pleasant. I can be light if you wish, honey my words, or give you all the facts coldly and wholly."

"Princess, I won't forgive you if you show an ounce of mercy."

Boy did I choose my words poorly, but then again, I didn't necessarily expect her to deliver. She comes out the gate swinging with her words. The one-sided conversation goes on for about thirty minutes, but my own pool of emotions and racing thoughts makes it seem like the conversation lasts simultaneously a second and an eternity. She basically tells me that there's only an infinitesimal chance of me going home. I am told that I am not part of some other world, but another dimension entirely. Because there are infinite dimensions, the chances of getting me back to the same one are slim to none. Now that I'm back to a stable condition and at least a temporary solution for it has arisen, my researchers have been given the task of finding a way to get me home. The complication is that I am one individual versus an entire nation of ponies that these researchers could be helping. After fours seasons, if the researchers haven't made a break they will be pulled from it and given a more productive task. Although not favorable for me, I understand the needs of the many outweigh that of the few and agree to her terms.

"Now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, I'd like to discuss something a bit more bright," Celestia says with a change in tone.

I almost forgot there were going to be several points it this conversation. I'm going to have to take time to process all of this information later.

"As you've probably noticed, this castle is filled with many enchantments and incantations to make it safe and productive. Mark, your presence in this castle slowly drains away these enchantments, therefore, it's no longer ideal for you to reside here. After some conversing earlier with Twilight, we have agreed to allow you to live in Ponyville, the town Twilight currently resides in. You will be staying with Twilight initially, but the hope is that the townsponies will open up to you and allow you to purchase property and maybe even work a job."

"That actually sounds like it would be a good time. When do we leave?"

"There are many things that need to be squared away before we can get you to leave without any mishaps, but those shouldn't take more than two days to get settled."

"So what do I do in the meantime?"

"If you're going to be living with Twilight and interacting with other ponies, you'll need a crash course on Equestrian law and customs."

Celestia giggles, "That is, if she's conscious enough to do so."

I look around. At some point during the conversation, the three of us ended up laying on cushions on the floor. Celestia is laying with her legs folded beneath her like a horse from home. I'm sitting criss-cross with one arm behind me giving me support. Immediately beside me is Twilight, sprawled out on her stomach with her head and front legs resting on my lap. I've been stroking her head and mane with my free hand. She's lightly snoring. It's the most adorable thing I've seen. I let out a chuckle.

"When was the last time she got a full night's sleep?"

"She hasn't slept more then three or four hours a day since you arrived. She didn't sleep at all the first two days."

"Is she always like this?"

"I've watched her grow from a filly and the one thing that stayed consistent was her dedication to her task. Although, this particular instance is more personal to her. Though under a completely different set of circumstances, she was in your position not too long ago, but it's not my story to tell."

She looks down at Twilight. She smiles affectionately, but her eyes become sad.

"She's even legally my equal, but seeing her like this reminds me of how young and naive she is. She's the closest thing I've ever had to a daughter. I need you to know something Mark," her face becomes stern and her eyes become daggers. "Twilight trusts you, and from what I've seen so far you seem to live up to her expectations, but we know nothing about you, and your mere presence in this world has been proven toxic not only to yourself, but every pony around you. If you do anything to purposefully hurt Twilight, not only will you receive the full punishment of the Equestrian court for harming royalty, but my personal wrath as well. For your sake as well as hers, you better keep yourself in line."

Truth be told, I knew this talk was going to happen, but I didn't expect to become truly frightened by the white princess pony.

"Y..yes ma'am."

Her expression goes back to the bright and confident one it was. Thank god, back to cute.

"Excellent. That should conclude our discussion today. Now to wake up my little pony. Normally I would let her sleep, but if she's going back home in the next couple days, she'll need to get her sleeping schedule back on track."

Celestia stands up and moves closer to Twilight. She puts her muzzle near Twilight's ear and whispers, "Pop quiz."

Twilight's eyes fly open.

"Huh? Who? Wha..?"

I can't help but laugh.

"That's not funny you two."

"You're right, it's hilarious!" I retort.

Twilight scowls at me, she's still sprawled out and halfway on my lap, I can't take the look seriously.

"Up and at em' sleeping beauty. We got a lot to talk about."

Twilight groans and her head slumps back onto my leg. I reach over with my hand and pinch her on the flank. She yelps and quickly stands up. She throws me a dirty look. I shrug my shoulders and she rolls her eyes.

Meanwhile, Celestia is giggling like a maniac watching this unfold.

"You two have known each other for barely two days and yet you act like you've known each other your whole lives."

I stand up and glance over to Celestia and smile.

"He just assaulted me. Can't we throw him into the dungeon?" Twilight asks, hopefully jokingly.

"Absolutely," responds Celestia.

...uh-oh...

"Unfortunately he's a foreigner unaccustomed to our laws, and we wouldn't want to cause an international incident."

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Now the girls have a quick laugh at me.

"Alright, alright. Haha, very funny. Let's get going. Thank you for having an audience with me Princess."

The three of us stand and stretch. I manage to contain my usual yell. The girls put their front hooves out on the ground and push them forward while keeping their back legs stationary.... they stretch like cats. Giant white and purple cats. They then return to a neutral position.

"I should be thanking you. You've taken your condition rather well. Whether that's because you haven't fully registered it or it's really not trouble, I sincerely appreciate your calm attitude. We'll talk once again tomorrow about your living arrangements."

Twilight and I exit and head back to the room.

Author's Note

This is a shorter chapter, so I do apologize. Thanks peeps and peepettes for watching. Drop a like if you desire more. It keeps me feeling fresh and ready to tackle my day.

Chapter 6: Setting Foundation

Author's Note

Although at some point it may seem like it, there aren't any sexy times in this chapter, nor will there be for quite a while. Thanks guys and gals for tuning in. Please drop a like if you haven't already, I need it to survive in outer-space. Keep trucking everyone. Oh, if you haven't had a chance to read Fiendship is Magic issue 2, I would suggest it. It gives a lot of background information on Tirek who may or may not have some influence on the story.

Chapter 6: Setting Foundation

We step inside the room. Twilight closes the door and then turns to me.

"That. Was. Not. Cool." She says sternly

"It's not my fault you wouldn't get up."

"You pinched my rear in front of this nation's ruler."

"No need to thank me."

"I could do without the sarcasm."

"Well excuuuuuuuse me, princess. Speaking of which, when did you plan on telling me you were royalty?"

Twilight's eyes widen. She then looks down and her ears go flat.

"Pony feathers..." She mumbles under her breath.

My heart is going to explode from the cute.

"What's wrong luv?"

"I haven't been a princess for very long, and if I'm being honest, I really don't enjoy the title. Once you become a princess, everyone starts to treat you differently. Even though I've told everypony countless times to treat me like any other pony, they all still treat me specially. 'Let me carry that for you' 'Free for princesses' 'Can I have your autograph princess?' I guess I was just hoping that maybe I'd have a chance to be friends with somepony, erh, some ONE, who didn't know who I was. I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later that you would find out."

I kneel down to Twilight. She's really too modest. I wonder what else she won't admit to. I put my hand on her head and scratch. She closes her eyes and pushes her head into my hand. After a minute I take my hand off. She opens her eyes and looks at me, I return the gaze.

"I don't care." I say matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"I really and honestly couldn't care less that you're a princess. Like Celestia said, it's not my responsibility to treat you any differently, and even if it was I probably wouldn't. To me you're just Twilight Sparkle, the pretty purple pony pleased to help people out of pretty pathetic situations."

"Did you come up with that just now?"

"I may or may not have been working on it for several hours now."

This makes her smile. There it is.

"Okay Mark, time to get started." She exclaims with the same childlike enthusiasm as before. "What should we cover first?"

"First, I'm gonna have me another glass of this wonderful apple juice, then we'll go over basic laws. After that, as much as you may not like it, I'm sending you to bed early, especially if we're going to be going over a lot of information both today and tomorrow."

To drive my point home, Twilight lets out a large yawn.

"Looks like I'm not in a position to argue."

I move over to the bed and throw the pillows to the recliner. I climb up and move to the far end where the pillows once were. I position myself with my back to the wall crossing my legs. I lean forward and pat the opposite end of the bed as an invitation for Twilight. She smiles and hops up onto the other end. Twilight positions herself so that all four of her legs are folded beneath of her.... like a cat. I seriously need to learn pony anatomy. Everything I know about horses apparently no longer matters.

Me and Twilight talk for hours. Much longer than anticipated, but every second is wondrous. Both of us have been excited to learn about each other's cultures and now all of that curiosity and wonder can be quenched. It's like drinking after a hard work-out, each gulp of information providing a refreshing feeling of excitement. For a time, the conversation is relatively one-sided, as Equestrian laws are very black and white compared to human laws. Basically, don't be a dick. The golden rule is essentially the only one that needs to be followed. Treat others the same way you would want them to treat you. Twilight is fascinated by the hundreds of oddball and situational laws that cover the United States. For instance, in Oklahoma it's illegal for dogs to congregate in groups of three or more on private property without a permit. In Idaho it is considered a crime to ride a merry-go-round on a Sunday.

Eyes light up and laughs are had as the conversational bullets fly back and forth. All the while we both casually sip on water and apple-juice. Time becomes lost in the stream of words and banter. It is only until one of the nurses comes in and informs us of the time that we realize just how long we've been engaged in dialogue. Twilight lets out another rather large yawn.

"I can't believe we've been at this for three hours," Twilight remarks with a drowsy slur.

"I think it's time for us to turn in," I point out.

Twilight suddenly and inexplicably blushes.

"Oh, umm..."

"What's on your mind luv?"

She shifts uncomfortably.

"Well, you see," she begins while avoiding eye contact. "There's still one last bit of information I have to have in order to allow you to stay in my castle."

"And that is...?"

"I... need to know how rapidly you absorb magic passively. Without anything magic cast on you or forced into your vicinity. We would have done it earlier, but we couldn't conclude whether or not your injured or fevered state would increase or decrease the rate."

"And how do you propose we do that?"

She blushes even harder and shifts once again. This is gonna get awkward real quick.

"I regenerate my magic at a constant rate while I'm asleep, and if you're asleep, there's no worry about you incurring extra magic absorption through any sort of action."

I raise my eyebrow at here. She sighs.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, if it's okay with you..." she hesitates, likely not sure on how to proceed with her question. "If you'd be okay with sharing a bed tonight?"

She makes herself as small as possible, the question obviously embarrassing her to no end. It's a pretty erratic question, one that I certainly am not prepared for. I look at things from her point of view for a moment. It's a fact that I absorb magic like a sponge, but she does hold a very important question: Just how potent is my absorbing power? If she's going to let me stay with her, it's only logical that we know how much damage I could cause to any surrounding magic structures. If what she says is true, then she'll be able to determine how fast I take in magic based on how drained she is after some hours asleep.

"How necessary is this?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't ask something so personal if I didn't think it was important. It's the closest we'll ever get to a control. We can take our chances if you're too uncomfortable with it."

"Are you comfortable with it?" I inquire.

"Well, this may sound weird, but I'm really am," she begins. "I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I feel... safe, around you, despite what happened earlier. Is that a weird thing to say?"

"I don't think so. There's no reason for you to feel unsafe around me, at least in my mind there isn't." I look into her lavender eyes. "I have no qualms with you staying the night in here as long as you don't either."

She loses some tension but her cheeks are still a bright red (how is that possible with purple fur?).

"Why don't you go get everything you need and then we'll settle down for the night."

"Ok," she replies.

Twilight hops off the bed a trots out of the room. What in the world just transpired? God, it sounds like the setup to a terrible porno. I throw my legs over the side of the bed and put my elbows on my thighs. I guess if this is gonna happen I'll be sleeping in these clothes. I may be willing to share a bed, but I still refuse to be nude around her. I stand up and move over to the chair. I'm pretty comfortable with the idea, but that's the part that scares me. Is it that I just feel comfortable with her? Maybe there's some dark park of me that has an ulterior motive to letting her sleep with me. Hell, maybe SHE has an ulterior motive for wanting to sleep with me. I could never be attracted to an equine... could I?

Ugh, why am I even doubting myself? Of course I'm not attracted to a pony. I grab the pillows from the chair and place them back onto the bed of origin. I jump up and let gravity take control of me as a plummet to the bed. I land sprawled out on my back. Yeah, she's a pony. I couldn't have a relationship with a pony. So what if she's nice and smart and cute? Those things don't matter... the fuck is wrong with me? I lay here in a daze for quite some time. I'm just staring blankly as thoughts race through my mind at a million miles an hour, none of them ever being fully processed. A voice from the corridor rouses me from my stupor.

"Glad to see you're already comfortable," observes Twilight as she enters the room.

I raise my head up to catch a glimpse of the purple unicorn. Twilight has dawned a midnight blue, two piece set of pajamas. There's one top which covers her chest and front legs down to her midsection with I assume two holes for her wings. The bottom covers he lower torso, rump and back-legs with I'm assuming a hole for her tail. The pajamas are dotted with yellow starts and white crescent moons. I chuckle.

"What's so amusing?"

"I just think it's funny that you walk around the entire day without clothes on, something considered taboo where I'm from. Then at night just before bed when it would be considered acceptable to be nude, you decide to put on clothes."

She makes her way to the bed.

"I used to sleep without pajamas. It's a habit I picked up not too long ago. I got used to the feeling of silk at night, so I had a personal pair tailored."

"I like the night sky theme."

Her eyes brighten a bit.

"Thank you! I love it because it has all my favorite constellations. I would tell you about them, but they don't have any translations," Twilight's eyes widen. "Except this one." Twilight moves her hoof to her side making a pointing gesture as best she can with hooves. "It's called Sagittarius."

I look closer, but I'm not an astrology expert.

"You mean the centaur one, right?"

"Exactly!"

I can practically see the information racing through Twilight's head. I'm sure all this would be more interesting if I wasn't getting so tired. I see the fatigue wear on Twilight too, as her eyelids half close and she lets out a yawn. She mumbles something about researching tomorrow and climbs into bed. After a bit of awkward shuffling, both of us manage to get under the covers. Twilight rolls over to face me.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asks once again.

"Like I said, if you're okay with it, then I'm okay with it," I reassure her.

"Thank you, Mark. Good night. We'll talk more in the morning."

"Good night luv."

I watch as her horn flares and all the light in the room disappears. We both roll over with our backs facing each other. What a day it's been. I close my eyes and sleep hits me like a truck.

Twilight Sparkle

I can't bucking sleep.

So much has happened these past couple days, not to mention the weeks leading up to them. My mind has become my own worst enemy as it constantly processes information. I have so many questions that still haven't been answered. There is still so much to do, and my brain refuses to let me get the rest I need to finish. It's driving me insane. There's so much I don't know, and Celestia knows I hate not knowing. Right underneath disappointing my friends is ignorance on the list of things that kill me on the inside. This isn't your average everyday ignorance though, this is advanced ignorance. Normally I could clear something up by just asking a simple question or reading a book, but this, this is all entirely new. There's so much I don't know. I'd let out a scream if I was alone.

Then there's Mark. He's quickly become a good friend, but he's alien. Is it wise to form an attachment to him? Even though the chances are slim, there's the possibility I'll have to say goodbye to him permanently. I also know next to nothing about him. It's strange, but there's just something about him that makes me feel safe. If it weren't for that, I'd be keeping as much of a distance between us as I can. He seems like a really good guy, but I don't know anything about his life. For all I know, once he's established a decent foothold in society, he could take off.

I think the thing that troubles me most about him is how cold he can be. Ever since he was given the details of his fate, he's had a stone cold gaze in his eye. They come back to life when he's engaged in conversation, but when I watch him think his eyes die. I don't know anypony who can just tun off his emotions and stop feeling like that. What does one have to go through in order for that to become an option? I really do know nothing about him. Could he honestly just not care? Maybe he's okay with never returning, maybe-

sob

That wasn't me.

sob

Is... is he crying? I slowly turn over in the bed to get a better look. He's also managed to turn over and is facing my direction. His eyes are still closed. I watch as he shudders while taking in a deep breath. When he exhales I can hear a sob and a whimper. His face is scrunched like that of someone in pain. I reach my hoof out very tenderly and feel his forehead. As far as I can tell, he hasn't started a fever yet, which is both good and bad. It's good because he's not in physical pain. The thing is, I can help with that, but I can't help with trauma.

What was I thinking? He's not a cold monster, he's just lost and handling it the only way he knows how. I feel my eyes sting and tears begin to form. I can't help but feel sympathy for the human. I'm the one that brought this on him. I feel sick to my stomach. Sweet Celestia, how did I let this happen? He doesn't deserve this. I'm so bucking stupid. I hate everything about myself right now. I roll over and-

"Eep!"

Suddenly I'm being dragged to the center of the bed by two appendages. I feel Mark bring me in close to him and he nuzzles into me. He nestles his head into the back of my neck and I can feel the tears soak my fur. My back is making full contact with his torso and I can feel his arms tighen their grip slightly. He's so warm. Next I notice that his once shaky and shuddering breath one again becomes smooth and stable. Is he still asleep?

"Mark?" I whisper.

No response.

Any and all malicious or negative thoughts I had swiftly exit my mind as I accept Mark's embrace. He's managed to pull me into a position that's still comfortable, albeit a bit close. I swear Mark, by all things good, that I will do everything in my power to make sure you feel welcome in Equestria. I close my eyes and sleep comes easily.

Chapter 7: Good Morning

Mark

I wake up spooning with Twilight... When did that happen? Not that I'm complaining, because she's super snuggle-able, but it's still a little weird. I'd honestly be okay with letting her sleep a while longer, but I remember the whole reason she's in here in the first place. I pull the covers off of both of us. Shes lying on her side with a content smile on her face. I watch as her side rises and falls with each deep breath. Every now and again her ear twitches slightly. It's going to break me having to disturb something this adorable. I reach over slowly and place my hand on the back of her neck. I gently begin running my fingers through her mane.

"Twilight luv, it's time to get up," I whisper to her.

She stirs and stretches in reaction.

"Five more minutes Spike..." she says lazily.

I ignore the statement and move my hand to her side and begin rubbing her on the ribcage. She starts giggling. I chuckle.

"Somebody's ticklish," I remark.

"Cut it out Spike," she says as she roles over. "Oh, it's you," she remarks flatly.

"Glad to see you too."

She looks at me. "Sorry, I didn't mean it that way, I just forgot that..."

"What?"

"Your eye."

"What about it?"

"I've never seen it up close before. It's really pretty."

"Thanks, it came with the face."

She giggles.

"So, how do you feel?" I ask her.

"Oh! That's right."

She sits up... something I never thought I'd see an equine do. I watch as she starts concentrating, likely trying to determine her current magic saturation. After a minute she flops back down onto the bed.

"Well, there's not a whole lot missing. I'm about as drained as I would be after writing a letter to the princess, which is to say, not very much at all."

Her horn glows and an hourglass flashes into existence above us. She gazes at it.

"Looks like we've been out for about nine hours. I think it's pretty safe to say that your rate of absorption is almost identical to my rate of regeneration."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?"

"Well," her horn stops glowing and the hourglass flashes out of existence. "It's neither here nor there. You wouldn't do any lasting damage to the castle, but I would still be wary of how long you linger around certain ponies or objects. I regenerate much faster than your average unicorn, so it's safe to say that being exposed for too long will cause some issues for other ponies, but like I said, it'll be perfectly fine to stay in the castle."

"Wunderbar!" I reply, prompting a confused look from Twilight. "To be honest, I'm starting to feel pretty cramped. It'll be nice to-"

My train of thought is swiftly interrupted by an intense full-body pain. I yell. Twilight jumps and looks blankly as she tries to process what just happened. After a couple of shocked seconds, her pupils dilate and panic sets in. I watch this all unfolds through narrow eyes.

"Mark!"

I can't find the words to respond.

"Mark, what's wrong!?"

The only word that manages its way through my mouth is "Pain." But that hardly covers it. I don't know what having your blood instantly turn to flame would feel like, but I imagine this is pretty close. I curl into the fetal position, and brace for what I have no doubt will not continue to be a pleasant experience. Twilight tosses off the covers and places a hoof onto my head.

"Sweet Celestia, Mark, you're outrageously overheated!" is all I hear from her before her voice becomes distorted.

Shit, I'm trying to process what she's saying, but it's hard to focus through the pain.

"DO SOMETHING MARK!"

Ok, Twilight, like what? The words don't actually come out of my lips.

"Do literally anything, Mark! We need to get the excess magic out of your system. So long as your muscles rely on magic to function, using them should use some of the magic. I'm going to go get the void stone."

Twilight rushed out of the room in a hurry, and once she got to the doorway there was a bright flash and she was gone. This won't be easy. It takes all of my mental willpower, but I finally convince my body to roll over and off the bed. I hit the floor with an audible thud. A slight pain creeps into my side that I landed on, but it's quickly forgotten as its predecessor floods back in. I can't stand, so I'm gonna have to start small and work my way up. I roll over onto my stomach and push into the ground with my hands. I don't have any intention of getting off the ground, but to just push. I keep pushing harder and harder, the pain in my body non-wavering.

The struggle is like trying to grip something while your hand is completely asleep. You can't be sure what kind of progress you're making because your senses are betraying you. The difference is that instead of a numb feeling or pins and needles, it's agonizing pain, and it's in every inch of your body. I give up on the effort, as I have yet to feel any relief. I let gravity take hold of my body and thud back onto the floor. Now I stretch all four of my limbs out and retract them as fast as I can manage, which, isn't very fast. To any bystander I would probably look like I was doing the breaststroke in slow motion. It's not doing anything. The pain stays relentless.

My vision starts to cloud. All I can see from my position is the end of the sheets that are on my bed. Next comes a loud ringing in my ears. It's deafening. My vision blurs further and grows dark. Now the edge of my vision is black. I start to close my eyes, hoping to find solace in the abyss.

"Don't worry, Mark!"

Though it sounds garbled and quiet, I recognize the voice. Such a pretty voice. I notice a deep black sphere roll in front of me. It's no bigger than a baseball. I weakly reach my arm out and attempt to grip the sphere. My hand finds its target and I squeeze. Funny, I can feel its coldness through the pain. As a matter of fact, my hand doesn't hurt so much any more. This ball is really nice. I think I'll keep it. I pull it close to my chest and drift...

Chapter 7b: Good night

Princess Celestia, the night before:

Several millennia of existence and the world I live in still never ceases to amuse me. Ask any of my subjects if there's anything I don't know, and they'd probably tell you I'm all knowing, perhaps even omniscient. This conundrum, however, has once again proved me to still be naive in the workings of the multiverse. Is it the multiverse? Is a dimension a universe? Bah, it's getting too late for cosmology. I let out a yawn. Not having anything scheduled for today's court has left me pretty relaxed, and the conversation with Mark and Twilight has me feeling at ease. Enough so that I'm already tired and ready for the sweet embrace of sleep. I've never needed sleep (Nightmare Moon's banishment had made sure I never got to sleep for literally a thousand years), but it's always been a brilliant way to spend the evening hours, and the refreshing feeling of waking up is just so pleasant.

Finally, it's time to be relieved of the court. I flash an hourglass into my vision, just to be sure that the empty day isn't messing with my sense of time. The glass is nearly empty on one side, perfect. I flash the hourglass back to its place of origin. Looking down, I see the two guards at the bottom steps. Both of them sway back and forth trying to keep their balance and to keep from falling asleep. I also put them on triple shifts today. Eighteen straight hours of guard duty, one third of which with my sister the night before, and three fifteen minute breaks for food. The two got off easy. Lt. Sentry pleaded with me to not dismiss them from the guard. In-fighting is not something I tolerate with my guard, as it leads to deception and mischief. The lieutenant pointed out, however, that the guard lacked any suitable replacements for the two. A diamond dog skirmish east of the crystal empire has put all of our reserves into action, as the still growing nation has yet to form a proper military.

"Alright gentlemen, you are dismissed," I begin. "If I see an ounce of bickering between the two of you in the next coming weeks, rest assured your lieutenant will not be able to prevent your dismissal."

The two give a lazy salute and begin their trek to the barracks. I very much dislike needing to discipline ponies, but sometimes it's necessary. I step down from my throne and descend down the steps. Only one more obstacle stands between me and my bedroom of solitude. That obstacle is my royal duty to lower the sun. No matter where I am, whether it be in a distant kingdom discussing treaties or trade agreements, or simply in my study reading, I must take time to raise and lower the sun. In a way, it's a very comforting process. The only thing that has ever stayed constant in my many years of life has been the sun, and in tandem, the moon.

I pass through the many hallways that lead to the balcony on which I'll meet my peer. All the while I'm being saluted by every guard I pass, as well as being bowed to and greeted by any visitors or castle workers. I try to respond to each one, but the thought of letting my day end distracts me from giving each pony the attention they deserve. My journey comes to an end as I arrive at the archway that sits before the balcony. I peer out to see my sister awaiting my arrival. As I step out onto the balcony, she turns around and presents me with a warm smile.

I've always thought of my sister as the better looking of us two. Each color on her body compliments another. Her midnight blue fur and feathers allow her sapphire blue mane and tail to shine, despite the cold color scheme. The black splotches on her rear as well as her crown and necklace allow her crescent white cutiemark and eyes to catch attention. Her figure is also leaner than mine. If I were a lesser pony, I would undoubtedly be jealous of her stunning appearance. However, I know we all must deal with the straws we pull. Plus, I have the height advantage. Luna walks towards me and nuzzles her head under my chin in a loving gesture.

"Greetings dearest sister," Luna says as she retracts from her display of affection. "You look so tense Tia, does something trouble thee?"

I giggle. "Lulu, I thought we've been over this. Use 'you' instead of 'thee'."

Luna gazes up at me. "I apologize, I'm still not used to the current vernacular. It's been some time since my return, but oddly, I can't seem to quite grasp it. I am still curious, however, how do you fare?"

I relax slightly. I guess I have been a little tense. The situation with Mark may be taking a heavier toll on me than I originally thought. "I'm doing just fine Lulu, it's just I worry for Twilight and our guest."

Luna nods her head. "Ah yes, the ~human~, as you would call it. I must admit, its presence here has created quite a queer reaction. I've tried entering its dreams for the past few nights, but it's like trying to open a locked door. Trying to force myself in doesn't work either."

"You know sister, it has a name, and I'm sure he would appreciate to be addressed as such."

"My, my Tia. Do I detect solicitude for the ~human~? You hardly know anything about it- erhm, him."

"Mark has yet to give any reason for me to treat him differently than I would any of my subjects. As a matter of fact, he seems to be quite wise. It makes me wonder if he's as young as he appears."

Luna giggles. "I'm happy my co-ruler is incapable of ever being a tyrant. You're so wonderful to your subjects, Tia, but enough idle chat. It's time to attend to our duties."

The process is merely symbolic. Our magic constantly keeps the sun and moon in motion, as our souls are linked to the bodies. Every day, however, me and my sister set aside thirty minutes to watch the sun and moon exchange places. It's not necessary, it's really not even important, but watching the event take place along with our subjects has created an ever stronger bond between us. The ponies below see us come out to represent the shift between day and night, and it assures them that both of us still watch out and care for them. We do it when at other countries to make a good impression on the locals. That, and not doing it leaves a somewhat empty feeling.

Once the activity is finished, my sister and I share a hug and kiss before wishing each other a pleasant night. I then wish her good luck during night court and we go our separate ways. Night court was such an odd event when Luna is hosting. During the event, there were four ponies present at all times: Two guards, Luna, and a stand-in. At any time when there are no ponies addressing the court, Luna teleports herself back to her room, where she convenes with the many dreams of the ponies in Equestria. At that point, the stand-in takes her place on the throne and awaits the arrival of any pony that wishes to conduct a meeting with the court. The stand-in, as Luna explains, is a complex projection of herself, which relays information that's given to her actual self. The stand-in has a few limited responses for any decisions that are to be discussed with me or can be answered with a simple yes or no. She swaps places with the stand-in whenever the negotiation requires fuller attention and bartering. With this system, Luna can attend to her duties as a dream mediator as well as the manager of night court.

Dream mediation was always a gift only Luna had. Even when she fell to Nightmare Moon, and I was given the responsibility of watching the night, I could never see into another pony's dreams. In truth I'm a little envious that I'll never get a taste of that power. Being able to control or watch thousands of worlds, each unique, sounds quite spectacular. I suppose this is the trade for my more powerful magic. Although that seems a little bit of an unfair trade, Luna also needs to sleep. I wonder sometimes if Luna has the ability to overcome the power gap between us or her need to sleep. Being considered the two most powerful ponies means we don't get to test limits very often.

All of this mindless self banter has put me into my bedroom without my noticing. I look around the humble space. I absolutely adore my bedroom. That's to be expected though, as I'm the one who requested it look the way it does. Being a ruler for a long time tends to effect a creature's sense of worth. One begins to stop appreciating certain things, only requesting that the finest and best be around them at all times. The problem is that, I've been there. Done that. There was a phase during my rule when I wanted nothing but the finest accessories and furniture to cover my quarters top to bottom. After a few years of that, I slowly began to realize I much prefer functionality to style. As a result, my bedroom is... just a bedroom.

If it weren't for the more royal colors and intricate wall designs, the room would look about as casual as any other pony's. There's a single stone fire place that contains only a small flame. The rug in the center of the room is a simple indigo color with a golden trim. There are a few throw pillows of various shades of blue and purple cluttered near the rug. The walls are lined every now and then with paintings. None of them are rare or valuable, but each has a sentimental value or represents an event from my past. The ceiling is spotted with paintings of the sun in gold and yellow, which contrasts the blue and purple on the ground. The bed is ironically queen-sized. It has a golden frame and a purple spread that, like the ceiling, is dotted with designs of the sun.

That's it. There's no outrageously large chandelier or any other furniture besides the bed and pony shaped mannequin where I can rest my crown and necklace. I unclip the weighty necklace and levitate it and the tiara over to the expressionless white figure, only, when the two accessories find their resting place, the figure is no longer expressionless. On it now appear two uneven eyes, both with a yellow sclera and red iris.

"Bleh, these jewels are so tacky," chimed a sinister voice. "Tell me something, Celestia."

There's a flash of light and where the mannequin once stood now stands a familiar polymorphic draconequus.

"Do these make my flank look big?"

The draconequus snaps his golden claws and with another flash a full sized mirror transmutes in front of him. He turns slowly "admiring" the reflection.

"Discord!" I reply is what could have been a more calm and collected tone. "This place is warded from you. How did you get in here?"

"Oh, please, Celestia," Discord remarks as he snaps his claws once again, making the mirror disappear and the mannequin reappear with the crown and necklace on it. "I only let you think you can ward me off. It makes for nice little surprise visits like this."

I glare at him, trying to make him vanish through sheer thought alone. It doesn't prove effective. Honestly, I wouldn't mind that Discord was here if he had come at any other time, but being who he is, he had to choose the one time that I'm not in zen. Discord uses his serpent-like body to fly around the room with a discomforting grace. He comes to rest on top of my bed. Once he comes to a stop, I notice he's dawned a sleeping cap and button-up pajama shirt.

"I really love what you've done with the place. Aren't you ever going to invite me over for a slumber party? It would be so fun to braid each other's manes and talk about the different civilization we've destroyed. Well, that is, if I had a mane long enough. Maybe you could braid my goatee instead."

Discord poofs from existence and then reappears in the center of the room. This time, he's dawned a tie-dye shirt and purple sunglasses. His beard is now in a braid and a hookah has appeared on the floor next to him as well as a gong behind him. He takes a breath from the hookah and when he exhales, bubbles fly into the air. The gong then sounds without him even touching it.

I sigh as the ringing in my ears from the gong fades away. "I take it you're here for a reason, Discord?" I ask flatly.

Discord lets out a sigh that mimics my own. "Alright, Celestia," Discord speaks as he flashes away the gong and hookah. "I can see you're going to be a sourpuss about this." He once again snaps his claws and suddenly we're sitting in separate comfortable recliners facing each other. Between us is a small table with a dark, rich mahogany color. It must personally belong to discord because it's about as chaotic as he is. The base resembles a dead tree with each limb curling in unnatural ways. Each branch holds up the flat top, and on the top are designs of skulls and runes etched into the wood. On top of the table lies a simple glass tea set with two glass teacups.

Inside the glass kettle is a translucent liquid that has a yellow tint. In the other two glass bowls are what I assume to be milk and honey. Steam is slowly rising from the spout of the kettle. The kettle then levitates itself with an unseen force and pours its contents into both teacups.

"Milk or honey?" inquires Discord.

I shake my head to remove the dumbfounded look on it. Civility was the last thing I expected from discord. "Ahem, n-no thank you."

"Suit yourself, but I prefer a little kick to mine. A vial of a bright red liquid appears in Discord's paw. He uncorks it and lets one drop fall from the vial and into his teacup. There's a small explosion when the drop meets the liquid inside. He then takes a sip of the concoction and shudders with delight. I levitate my own cup to my muzzle and stare at it questioningly. Discord sees this.

"Oh, for chaos' sake, Celestia. It's not poison. It's Darjeeling, which is from what I hear, your favorite. You and Fluttershy share very similar tastes in tea. It's also decaf for the late hour."

"And where exactly did you hear this?"

"Oh, Twilight is basically an encyclopedia on all things Princess. Some things I don't even know you know she knows. Don't worry though, I haven't asked her anything too personal. Besides, I have your diary for that anyway." He chuckles lightly.

Great, not only can the god embodiment of chaos not be warded from, but also knows I keep my thoughts in a book like a schoolfilly. I levitate the cup closer and take a sip. It's... actually astonishing! It's an absolutely wonderful blend. It would make the most prominent tea specialist in Saddle Arabia feel ashamed. I take another sip eagerly, careful not to seem too engrossed by the brew. I must have failed because Discord lets out another chuckle.

"Glad you enjoy it, Princess."

I blush lightly from embarrassment. I then quickly remember why Discord is here and set the glass back onto the table.

"So, I reiterate: Why are you here?"

Discord lowers his cup, still keeping it in his grip. "I understand you're keeping a very peculiar guest here at the castle."

I take a second to ponder my response. "Yes, I am."

"Good, I've already seen him, but I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't try to keep it a secret from me." He takes another sip of his tea. "Tell me, Celesita, did you happen to notice anything odd about him?"

"Are you referring to his ability to absorb magic?" I inquire.

"Precisely, although, there's a bit more to it, isn't there?" Discord muses.

"I don't follow."

"Come now, Princess, surely you must have noticed, or did you dismiss it as an impossibility?"

I mull it over a little. Absorbing magic is odd, but was there something even more odd? Perhaps it is something that not the average individual can see? I recall back to the meeting with the human in the throne room. I could feel the magic slowly drawing towards him, but that wasn't all. It's almost as if there was an essence that floated with him, almost as if he was... no, that's just not possible. There's only been one other entity known to do that, and he did it willingly. My expression must be able to be read like a book, because Discord interjects my thoughts.

"So you did notice. You're not going mad Celestia. Your assumptions are correct."

"He's...

"Absorbing chaos." Discord attempts to finish my sentence. I give him a puzzled look.

"I was going to say harmony." Discord returns my confused gaze.

He laughs. "Oh, Celestia, that's rich. Maybe you do age. Clearly he's absorbing chaos."

I shake my head at him. "I can't see chaos magic, Discord, but anypony with a powerful enough connection to it can see harmony."

We both continue glaring at each other. So many questions are now floating through the air and the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Finally, Discord breaks the silence.

"Well, this has become a lot more interesting."

"Indeed it has." I can see Discord's eyebrows knit as he's deep in thought. "Discord, I hope you don't plan to do anything drastic."

Discord looks up at me, his face full of... concern?

"No, Celestia, I don't." Replies Discord, his face a stone wall, never changing. "Honestly, I don't know what to do right now. I have no plans for mischief for malice. I've been a part of this world as long as it's existed, and the only thing that can make me worried is the unknown, and I know EVERYTHING. Well, at least, I have ways to get information on everything, even if that means traveling back in time. This, however, is above even my pay grade. It's true I can make pocket dimension, but alternate dimensions are something I've never had the courage to touch."

I've never once in my life heard Discord sound so uncertain. When Discord is serious, it's more discomforting than when he's toying, and toying generally means someone isn't going to live.

"So," he continues, "the reason I've stopped to talk to you about this, is because I need your help and you also need mine. Our guest is completely shrouded in mystery. We know next to nothing about him besides that he appears to be harmless. Regardless of his intentions, his mere presence is a threat to me. With your permission, I would like to observe and report. I"ll have minimal interaction with the human, besides perhaps introducing myself at a later date. Then, I'll report anything that I deem important that Twilight has failed to mention."

"And what do you desire in return?"

"That's the beauty of it, I don't want anything. We both gain from this arrangement. The only thing either of us wants is information. You share with me what your scientists learn about him and his dimension, and I'll share what I learn about him as an individual. Twilight can't be with him all hours of the day and night, but I can, or at least, a part of me can."

I calmly take a drink of my tea as the gears in my head turn. Making any kind of deal with Discord is like digging your own grave. However, the more I think about it, the more it becomes acceptable. He's correct in that Twilight can't keep an eye on him at all times, and Discord himself seems genuinely curious and wary of the human. Most of all, however, is Discord's recent reformation. I still don't trust him with everything, but based on the accounts of the element bearers, he's truly become more caring. Sometimes it's to extremes, but that's rare. The deal seems legitimate. I'm not giving him any more power than he already has and he won't be harming anypony in his process.

"Very well, Discord. I accept your terms."

"Wonderful!" Discord claps and the recliners along with the table and tea set disappears. I frown at the thought of my tea leaving.

"IF!" I begin again, "My sister also agrees to them. I'll discuss it with her in the morning."

Discord's smile lessens. "I understand, Princess. I'm looking forward to good news tomorrow!"

With that, Discord disappears with a puff of smoke, leaving me once again alone with my thoughts. At this point, those thoughts are practically screaming. They subside as I convince myself to worry about such matters in the morning. I leap onto my bed in a less than ladylike way. After some squirming I nestle under the covers and lay my head on my pillow. I feel something jagged dig into my temple. I raise up slightly and use my magic to bring the offending object to my attention. It's a small tin box. I begin to take off the lid and-

SPROING

Out pops several multicolored fake snakes. It didn't startle me all too much, but that doesn't mean I'm any less annoyed or confused. I look inside the box again to see a small cloth bag and a note. The note reads:

Rarity has been teaching me to be more generous, so here's some of the Darjeeling tea leaves used in the tea from earlier, only, these are caffeinated. Enjoy them to the fullest, as I couldn't find any better quality plants from any other time period.

I bring the the tin closer and take a whiff. The leaves have an absolutely delightful aroma. I smile to myself. Maybe the girls' reformation is working better than I thought. I return the lid to the container and teleport the container to the castle pantry. I drop my smile as another thought enters my mind. I sure hope Discord isn't playing me for a fool.

Chapter 8: Departure

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