Pinkie Pie? Oh no, not her!

by cursedinfernus

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Other
Length: 2500

Ponka Po travels, and someone is not happy

What would you do if one of the fictional character that you like the least in a series comes from nowhere at your place and mess with your daily life?
One thing is true: no one is ready for that, and when it's about Pinkie Pie, we realize that hell (or tartarus) is a better place to live.

Published 2015-07-03 16:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-03 16:30:02 UTC

Pinkie Pie? Oh no, not her!

Pinkie Pie? Oh no, not her!

“Aaah finally, relaxation time after an exhausting work day!”.

Tom sat comfortably on his chair, facing his computer. He stopped briefly to check the time.

“7:00 PM, I’ll eat later.”

He was browsing, “So…. I’m going to watch My Little Pony FIM, where did I stop?” He stared at his screen and winced.

“Too many Pinkie Pies, at least it’s not hard to understand. We’re going to talk about that annoying cotton candy pink fur ball.”

He sighed; indeed she’s one of the characters he liked the least in the series, now he was almost reluctant about using “relaxation time” as a term.

“Ah if she was real, I’d like to tell her some things!”

He took his headphones and began to watch the episode.

***

“Cool, Twilight is trying out a spell, that’s what I call a character, not like -”

Pinkie came out of nowhere and disrupted the spell.

“Talking about some killjoy…”

Through the episode, Tom didn’t feel that well unlike a few minutes ago considering we were talking about that dumb pink thing.

“Great, now she’s going to show some stupid magic formula that she’s really familiar with to make that thingummy work.”

Pinkie recited her magic formula and got through the mirror, the computer turned off.

“Huh? But, there’s no power cut and nothing got unplugged!”

A pink dot appeared in the middle of the screen. Puzzled, Tom came closer to the screen and took a look at it. The device turned on, Pinkie’s head appeared suddenly, piercing the screen with a big smile.

Tom violently fell from his chair.

***

“Aaaah!”

“Whoopsie, looks like the mirror didn’t work well. Hellooo human!” shouted Pinkie, landing on her two hind legs and making a sign with her front right hoof.

Tom slowly recovered from his fall, he looked at the pink creature and had his face distorted by astonishment, mouth being wide open.

“Wh… What?!”

“Huh? You’ve never seen a pink pony before?”

“And you, you’re saying that like nothing happened! And… human?”

“Oh yeah you look like that critter Twilight met in the other world thanks to a mirror well not that mirror another mirror she fell in love being intuitive helped me moreover he played the guitar I really like the guitar but I don’t know how to play it I know how to play many instruments though I’m going to -”

“STOP!”

Pinkie was holding a multicolored box but Tom interrupted her with his hand.

All of the sudden, his head was hurting, he shook it and scratched his eyes then he looked at the pink abomination again.

“Not only you’re coming from nowhere, like everyone is used to see that kind of thing furthermore you’re spoiling me?! Now I can die without feeling ignorant!”

“Spoil you? Naah, Twilight spoils, I just said something I shouldn’t have said.”

Yes, actually that’s spoiling, and apparently she keeps doing it.

“Let’s get back to what’s important!” said Tom after deeply breathing in.

The young man pinched his right cheek. He opened his eyes wide.

“Oh my fuck, I didn’t fall asleep on my chair, this is not a dream!”

“Well I can’t be in the dreams, silly, Princess Luna can. Mmmh…”

She put a hoof on her chin and thought about it, "Unless I had that power too…”

“Oooh you! I -”

Someone knocked at the door.

“Stay. Still.”

***

“Okie dokie!”

He left the mudpony to open the door. “Ah good evening Miss Rhymm.”

“Good evening Mister Deanley, I heard some weird noise and it looks like you’re talking to… yourself, everything is fine?”

“No worries, I was on my phone and I fell but nothing serious I’ll live, thanks for your concern.”

Tom was rather the quiet type and he didn’t get too many calls or visitors, Miss Rhymm was a “worried” person which kinda bothered him even if she just felt concerned about the young one.

“Good, in that case I’m going to leave, enjoy your evening Mister Deanley.”

“Goodbye Miss Rhymm.”

I know that she does that without meaning any harm but Miss Rhymm tends to annoy me when she does that (and that woman does it too much for my taste), it’s like the lady owns the building or something.

Tom cooled down and he bumped into Pinkie, face to muzzle with the pink freak.

“Aaah!”

“Deanley? Quite a funny name!”

“What did I tell you? You’re not a fish, aren’t you? Yes that’s my name, not my fault!”

“Nah I’m a pony.”

Tom raised his eyes to the ceiling and sat on his couch.

Pinkie scanned the apartment with her eyes.

“It looks nice here, on the other hoof someone really messed with your private space, like in A.K Yearling’s house.”

“Oh? Really? your Pinkie sense just told you that?”

“No, my two eyes!” *squee*

My god… I think her cognitive abilities are too limited to understand any hint of irony, sarcasm or other subtleties. Besides who’s that A.K Yearling? Another spoil on the list I guess, what a wild pony! No self-control at all!

Without another word, he went to the bathroom to get his face wet. He stared at the mirror for a while after wiping it and his hands.

Yup, with this nonsense, I feel like I’m going to drink some coffee with the shrink, once again.

***

Tom went back to the living room.

“Unless you were planning a mess party with no pone else than you, in that case it’s a bit sad, saddy sad.”

He sat on his couch again, Pinkie joined him, quick as a flash.

“Sooo, what’s the right answer?”

“Listen Pinkie, I don’t know how you did it but you’re here now, there’s a rational explanation concerning what just happened, I am sure! Even if it’s about you!”

Tom was a rational guy, even by watching a cartoon and that’s why he had some trouble dealing with the gypsy pony as a character.

“It’s just a mirror problem, you just have to wait and everything’s going to be alright!”

“No, there is something else! What if I wasn’t the first one? And what if it was permanent? A curse? Judgment day? A sign before an alien invasion? What will happen in the future? A world full of fictional characters?”

Despite the fact he’s a rational person, Tom was open-minded about the possibilities. A bit too much.

He put his head between his hands, lost in his thoughts.

“Oh by the way what’s your first name?” asked Pinkie, cocking her head to the side.

“Tom.”

She stared at him with a sudden serious expression, his head raising when she asked the question.

“Mmmh…. You don’t look like a rock!”

………….

“Ha ha, very funny Pinkie.”

“But… It’s true!”

“Well if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to think about what to do considering the current situation so sorry to cut short this interesting conversation!”

“Hey, I’m just curious! It’s my first time seeing a human!”

“Yeah, too bad it’s me, I’m curious too but about how is that possible that you just came from another world in a doctor Who style or any other sci-fi series!”

“You mean doctor Whooves?”

“Nooo!”

“Okie!”

What to do? Call the cops? No it’s going to be a disaster, red alert! Tell my parents, my friends about the situation? They’ll just tell me to call the police. Her arrival here will be a planetary upheaval, those eggheads of the entire world will come here, feeding their intellectual curiosity, I can already see the main headlines!

No I need to keep her at my place, hidden, and find a way, alone, to bring her back where she has to belong for the sake of this world and my mental health.

He glanced back at Pinkie who was wandering in his apartment, she stopped exploring briefly and gave him one big smile, he nervously smiled back at her.

***

8:00 PM.

Oh I almost forgot, I need to eat, it will help my thought process.

He went to the kitchen for a pizza.

Pinkie followed the young man.

May as well feed her since this vixen is here, thought Tom by stealing a glance at the witch.

“I don’t have any hay or pastries Pinkie you’ve got to content yourself with my own food, you know I didn’t expect your visit, right?”

“It could have happened earlier, you never know!”

“No Pinkie, in general that phrase only works with you!”

“Great! Pizza! It’s like Rainbow Dash’s birthday again!”

“You just spoiled me again.”

“Oh… Whoops.”

He sighed.

Pinkie devoured most of the pizza.

“You really have a food issue Pinkie.”

“I like eating, if you don’t eat enough you may be hungry faster.”

“I wonder why I didn’t think about it earlier…”

“Well now you know it, I know, I’m a genius!” said the mudpony, swelling out her chest.

Yeaaah…No.

They finished having dinner.

***

Let’s get back to the problem. I should make her existence a secret for now however I would really need someone to explain this event to me, I don’t have enough knowledge for that. Oh dear should I isolate myself even more from the rest of the world? Not an unpleasant idea but with Miss pink horsey I have some doubts concerning my future mental condition.

Then Tom thought… differently: what if the solution was in the episode?

“Oh is that box magic?” asked the pink mare, pointing a hoof at the TV set.

“No.”

“Mmmh, it reminds me of what Twilight created with her magic when we chased away those weird bats…”

He gave her a killer look and she swallowed heavily.

“Whoops, sorry…”

“It’s called a television set, it gives you pictures.”

“Oooh, other humans, can we go outside?”

“Hell no.”

“Even a little bit?”

“No.”

“Just a teensy, weensy, itsy-bitsy -”

“NO!”

Pinkie did one of those faces, the kind of face that will defeat even the worst human being.

Tom sighed heavily.

“Sorry Pinkie, you can’t.”

He moved to the computer and watched the rest of the episode.

“Well, I didn’t learn anything from it, only that what happened in that episode didn’t happen here (fortunately) and you were the jester Pinkie! Once again! The king would have been proud.”

“Heeey, I never worked for Sombra-no-blah blah blah-yaddi yadda!”

“Do you even realize what’s happening?! Maybe you’ll never go back to your world!”

“Ah, no I will go home.”

“And how are you so sure about it?”

“It’s my intuition, silly.” she sounded really confident, pointing her two front hooves to her puffy head.

He facepalmed.

Fine, it looks like I’m on my own this time, as usual. I’m going to let Miss Pinkie watch the magic box while I’m trying to find a “good” solution. God, I hate you candybag.

***

After two hours, Tom felt more and more tired.

Pinkie fell asleep on the couch, her four legs apart, snoring and drooling. Tom shook his head at the pony, giving her a weak smile, after that he focused on his computer…

Why did I think that the MLP forums would be useful? The egghead websites didn’t help either, no one that I know made some theory about a possible travel in a “parallel world”, if that’s my thought process may as well reading some fan fictions on supernatural trips considering how little of a sense all of this made.

So I need to accept my new life? Why is this happening to me? And seeing that it’s happening to me, why wasn’t it another character?

He turned the computer off, the TV then he covered Pinkie and went to his bedroom to get some rest.

At least, tomorrow is my day off, I’ll have more time to think, after a good night sleep.

***

10:00 AM.

Tom opened his eyes and stretched.

“Funny dream.”

He moved to his right and a pink familiar face appeared suddenly, nearly booping him with its nose.

“Goody morny Tommy Tom!”

He held a scream, grabbed Pinkie and put his hand on her mouth.

“I always try to be silent so, please, don’t shout like that,” he whispered to her.

“Okie dokie lokie.”

No, it wasn’t a dream, only a real nightmare.

“Thank you…”

As soon as he released the pink kraken, she hopped towards the kitchen, she was dressed with a pink apron, some pastries drawings on it.

“I made cookies!”

“Cookies? But I didn’t have -”

“Oh I borrowed some on the other side.”

He froze.

“How so?”

“I just moved to the other side and I told my friends about my story, looks like they didn’t believe me, they were so worried, I jumped on the occasion and brought pancakes.” *squee*

“Since when do you know that you can easily move to the other side?”

“Oh since last night, I woke up and there was some light from the other magic box, I trotted to it and I found out that I can go through the mirror again, easy peasy, huh?”

The big surprise then anger stroke Tom’s mind.
All those efforts for… this, just another nonsense, Pinkie Pie usual delivery.

“Why didn’t you say that earlier?! Now you have to leave!”

“But, we didn’t even finish eating break -”

“Yes, thanks, I will eat later, you have to go now, you have pastries on your side anyway, come on!”

“But -”

“I almost lost my mind thinking about your case, I was worried, I even started to…”

“Whatever, you must leave Pinkie.”

“But I -”

“No, you stayed long enough, who knows what happened back there while you stayed, leave, now.”

She was paralyzed, staring at the young man.

“GO. AWAY!”

“Ok... I’m going to leave, but first, I want to ask you something.”

“What?!”

“Why you don’t like me and you’re a meanie-not-a-cool-villain?”

“Pinkie, I don’t like clowns, I don’t like characters that spoil a series by being stupid.”

“I just want to make everypony happy…”

“Well, maybe, you don’t use the right method though.”

Pinkie’s face was full of sadness, she slowly trotted to the computer, head down, she then looked at the magic box and she smiled.

“We will meet again, soon, ok?”

“Yeah yeah we will meet again soon, you on your side of the mirror and me on my side, it’s better like that! Bye Pinkie!”

Pinkie kept smiling and waved her hoof to say goodbye, eyes closed. She jumped through the computer and vanished.

Tom sighed, standing up, still, eyes focusing on the floor.

He sat in his kitchen to taste the cookies. His face lit up. They are… delicious. He didn’t leave a crumb.

Heavy silence fell in the apartment. Tom looked around the room. He closed his eyes.

I hate to hear myself thinking that but I think I’m going to miss her. Everything seemed so… alive.

The young human smiled a bit and glanced at his plate.

You fricking pink fur ball…