You're sitting on your bed, looking at the poorly lit wall in front of you by the moon's rays piercing your curtains. They are moved by the wind coming from the ajar window. You turn to your nightstand and look at the clock. 11:56. Huh... it's been over a day since you've had actual rest. All that you've been doing for well about 30 hours since the last time you've taken a rest was think about your life.
The past four months ever since you've been here, were hard times. In the first month was possibly the easiest month there was. Somehow, you woke up in a room fit for a queen. Surprisingly, it's being held by two princesses. One seemed like a first class white stiff. The other, a misunderstood dark soul. This one, issued you a normal life, instead of being tested or put to some circus to be seen as an animal. Damn that Celestia. From that day forward, Princess Luna has been by your side. She's been the ONLY one that has been supporting you. Everyone else either didn't wanted to be associated with you, or just flat out despised your ass. Even though, you've done nothing but just exist here.
Names were tossed at you, along with an assortment of things for a few times. But the "heroes" of Equestira.... Those were the worst. Twilight frequently tried to experiment on you. She even attempted to open up a part of your body just to see what is inside! Now, you're barely able to pick up a book for when you need something to pass the long, jobless days. Rainbow Dash was just a plain brute. She would constantly insult you, even when she is shooting lightning bolts around you, even when it's a clear and nice day. Rarity, she was just a flat out bitch. She refused to make clothes for you, just because you were a "creature." When she was finally convinced to make some clothes for you. she jacked up the prices to unfathomable numbers. Right now, she's probably promoted for "Rich Bitch," all just because of you. Thank goodness Luna backed you up for some certain payments. There wasn't any help from Celestia's side. All she did was give you some worn out house just at the outskirts of Ponyville, not too far from Fluttershy. And her. She believed in herself that you were no better than any creature she ever met, only on the fact that you eat meat. How she even got that was a mystery. Maybe because there was a strong scent of BBQ on you, or your shit never deteriorate into the ground. At least a changed diet was created for you, now that it sinks to the ground. You have Applejack to thank for that. This one is a decent mare. She really didn't give you much of a hard time, just a hard job. The job is nice, only if it wasn't starting at 4 in the morning and ends at sunset. It's as if they're trying to work you to death...
The payment wasn't the best. They barely gave you enough to get a batch of apples from them after the day is done. Things are really rough, even when the entire family has a hatred for you. At least it didn't go bad like the party to your arrival. Being hosted by some mare filled with sugar and enthusiasm. Probably with a hit of ADD, or crack. Pinkie Pie was her name. She was alright at first. Until that party was made.
It had it all. Balloons, confetti, DJ table and the biggest ice cream cake you've ever seen in person. Only thing that went wrong, was that no one showed up. Ten minutes have passed, and it was still empty. Not even the DJ was there. It was just you and Pinkie. "Maybe they're running late... all of them." She said with some energy. She then attempted to become her friends and brought some inanimate objects from a broom closet. A sack of flower, pile of rocks, and an upside down bucket. She really was loosing it. When you realized that she had her afro-like mane lost it's poof and straightened, she wasn't the same. For some reason, it gives you a sense of discomfort.
`Thirty minutes in and the place was a happy ceremony, to a eerie after party. She was constantly talking amongst herself, while acting out as the items with painted faces. You asked if everything is fine. "Everything is fine. The invites may have been lost? Who cares! instead of my friends, Would you like to meet Bob?" You rejected her offer and she threw "Bob" into the table with a small temper.
"Pinkie...?"
What was once the party pony, now a deranged mare. She cried and collapsed on the table she threw "Bob" at. Through the waves of tears, she tried to say something. As she stopped and whipped some tears away, she looks at you with the eyes of a broken ponies soul. "Maybe... this was a bad idea. I-I'm sorry that I've failed you." She heads for the door and opens it. The light from the outside enters the dark room. It stings your eyes for a while. You just stand there, looking at Pinkie blocking off some of the brightness. "I'm sorry that we can't be best buddies." She said with a heartbroken tone. She doesn't even turn around as she says this. Pinkie walks out the door and you barely ever saw her ever again. Sometimes you see her with her friends, but she just looks away or tries to ignore you. She was the closest friend you almost made. All shattered by her friends.
You snap out of the flashback, and look at your hands. One of them contains a .44 Magnum. It was a gift from your dad. "Trust me, in a world like this, you'll need one." His words flow through you. Maybe not in that world, but certainly in this one. "Your grandfather had this, and in fact, saved his life. He passed it on to me and I've never had it too far from me. Now that you're 18, I want you to have this. Hell, who knows, maybe you'll need it one day." Ever since that day, you always kept it in the side of your pants. Thanks to this, you started getting used to belts. In a way, was he right. Yet, you never thought you would use it on someone. You never even thought you would use it at all. But what was a surprise, is that you're going to use it against yourself. You check the barrel to see six bullets are filling every chamber. Sadly, you will only need one to use on where you're going. Your hands shake as it is being raised slowly to your skull. If only there was an easier way.... The tip lightly touches the mid temple of your head. You close you eyes and try to fight every nerve and break the conscious keeping you from pulling the trigger. What you're unaware of, is that the clock has changed. 12:00. Your finger finally makes contact with the trigger. Now that is left is a little more pressure to finish the job. But... for some reason, you're starting to get some difficulty on breathing. It's as if you're inhaling carbon monoxide through your nostrils.
Upon opening your eyes, you see a trail of a thick smoke covering the entire floor, and making it's way to you. The smoke is a mixture of colors containing black and blue. It's seen by the stream of light coming from the window. You get an idea. Drop the pistol on your bedside and head for the window to open it up and release the smoke. Only as you do, you're unaware that the smoke is entering from the outside. It's too late, as you raise it open and the rate of the smoke has significantly increased. Now it is just a sea of intoxication. You get on your knees and cough violently. It's too strong and making you too weak to jump out the window or to run for the door. While on all fours, you crawl back to the bedside holding the merciful aluminum pistol. "Almost... there...." You mutter out, only half way. You are beside the bed stand and blindly reach out for the pistol. You feel something and slide it off. Unfortunately, you are too weak to even grab what's up there. As it falls down, the glass shatters. Wait? Glass? Look carefully where it landed. It's your goddamn clock. "DAMN- cough, cough ...it." This is a fate more slower that what you wanted to end up in. You collapse to the ground, and everything slowly goes into a strong black state from shut eyelids.
Only a colorless environment surrounds you. You get up and look around. There is nothing but a white void around you. "Greetings, Anon."
The voice is coming from behind you. You turn around and see "Luna!" You run up and hug her. You look up to see her cheeks blush, along with a comforting smile. You let go after a few seconds. "Why am I here? Am I dead?"
She shakes her head and raises a hoof. "No, no. The vapor you inhaled was oneirogenic general anaesthetic smoke." You look at her, wondering what did she just say. "It means you inhaled sleeping gas."
"Ohh."
"Back to the subject. I've been observing your movements and I am very concerned to why you're going through this course of actions."
A sigh escapes from you, along with rubbing the back of your neck. "It's... been awfully rough here for the last few months. I'm barely even welcomed in general. The pe- uh, ponies here, just downright hate me."
"That maybe true, but others just find you a little more... unique. I do hope thou have made some acquaintances."
"Yeah... that's why I wanted to... end it all."
The princess of the night is appalled by this. "Thou have been living here for quite some time. There must be a couple of ponies that created a companionship with you." A tear starts to run down your cheek. "Oh... I see."
"I just think it's better for me to leave this place. Can you just end this dream so I can end my life?"
She waives a hoof. "Nay, I will not."
"It's better off this way. Everyone will have their wish and my suffering will finally go away." The ruler of the night stops her hoof. Below you, the floor shakes violently from her stomp. "That is quite far from the opposite. I am here to show you the mistakes you will endure if such actions are done. Her horn glows, then emits a powerful blinding light. From this, you close your eyes to prevent them from getting your vision ruined.
"You may open them now." You slowly peak open an eye to view your bedroom. The wall off on the side of the bed has blotches of a red tone. There are some ponies all wearing identical blue uniforms in the room, cautiously examining it. There's a long, white sheet over a oddly shaped object on the ground. You look at Luna, she is unmoved by what she's witnessing. Look back and see that the doorway is flooded with ponies, all blocked from entering from a yellow forensic caution tape. In front of the crowd is most of the mane six. All of which has their own form of grieving on the scene. "We must move on, this is merely the beginning."
Her horn shines again, and makes a brief light. You once again shut your eyes and reopen them a few moments later. You are in front of your house. It's worn out from what it once was a nice tan paint, now just a faint white hue. The windows are boarded up, some of them have the boards a little misplaced. When you peaked in one of them, the window panes are smashed. Eying your living room, the furniture is where it is, only all of them are coated in spiderwebs and dust bunnies. "Look over to your side." You turn to your left and spot a patch of dead, whithered flowers. Laying beside them is a bunch of papers. Look closer and see that each of them are written with their own apologies. From Applejack, Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and even Rainbow Dash. It keeps on going from other people who lived in Ponyville.
"Why would they do this?"
"It's a tradition to when somepony knew another. They do this to make a relief of their own mistakes. Of what they regret on their actions and true feelings to that of which are gone."
"Oh."
"We must continue." She uses her magic once again and you're now in a field that contained graves. This one specific grave in front of you was enormous. It was a small tomb, able to house a couple of ponies bodies. Once you entered it, there was only one stoned coffin in the center of it. The coffin was able to contain three mares, or so you estimated. There was an inscription on the end of it. Here lies Anon. A grim reminder to which we don't accept all as equal. He never scored. The last part was crudely drawn. "Do not worry, that was from a few fillies. Some refuse to have a heart. This is drawing to the conclusion."
Some time has passed, and you've seen each of the mane six on their outcome over the years. Rainbow Dash left Ponyville into heavy forms of rain showers when it was the week of your death. Rarity created a couple of clothes that seemed to only match your stature. They were all kept in her room, locked in a crate. The worst part is that she continued on making them. Twilight remained in her studies, trying to find some way to find a redemption spell. Luna stated she has been doing that ever since the day you "died." It's been over a year when you have seen her still go on like this. To the public, Applejack and her family kept on having a normal life. In the fields, when no one was around, they would weep for a while as they were working. Fluttershy was the same condition as Applejack, only it was a little more disturbing. Some parts of the day, she would go down in her cellar to chat with a wooden figure of you. She would try to make conversations with it. Sometimes she would break down and apologize to it. "I'm sorry I didn't take care of you! I should have been there when you where hungry." She would continue on like this for hours on end. Pinkie Pie though....
She would recreate the party the exact same way on the day you arrived to Ponyville. Only, she would become depressed from the beginning. One year was entirely different. As she was making a tantrum to "Bob," the rest of her friends walk in. "You... you came." She ran up to them and hugged them all at once. You couldn't help but cry at the scene.
"That is all I have to show you." Luna casts a spell, and discontinues the sequence.
Now it's just you and Luna back in the white emptiness. "But... what if I live. What will become of me?"
"Well, I am forbidden to do such a request."
"Why?" You question.
"For it may change the future than what it could normally be."
"Please, I really need to know." You plea.
Luna puts a hoof to her mouth and looks up. She keeps this for well about ten seconds. "I can make an exception this one time." You can feel an increase of you own heart rate go up. "It shall be into the far future, I will not tell you on how to achieve this. This will have to be succeeded on your own." You nod. She illuminates her horn once again.
You are now in your living room with the fireplace on. It's nightfall outside and you see yourself laying on the couch with... "Is... is that...?" You turn to Luna as she nods. Look back and see the mare cuddling the future you.
"Are you feeling comfortable, honey?"
"Yes, I really am sweetie." She replies. Each of them are wearing a ring. One is on your finger, and one is around her hoof.
"I have shown you far enough." Luna states.
"NO! WAIT!" Everything is terminated, leaving you back to the emptiness. "Come on! There must be more! Maybe on how I got her, or our first date!?" Luna shakes her head. "This is bullshit! At least on what everyone else looks like, or maybe what would Ponyville looks like?" Luna gives out a hard sigh and irradiates her horn. You and her are standing at a hilltop in the middle on the night. You look off to a city. Only, it looks like something from your Earthly home. Skyscrapers and complicated buildings fill the region. "This... this isn't Ponyville."
"But it is, Anon. Thanks to you, these types of architectures from your imagery- I have spoken too much." The city of lights then vanishes before your eyes. "I hope that you are inspired enough to continue living on." You leave your jaw and eyes as if they were pride open.
"Yes, Princes... I will stay away from it. I must ask, how are you able to predict the future?"
"Each and every dream has its own meaning. Some are even able to ellipse a, what you would call a Déjà vu. Will you take everything that I have taught you kept only to yourself?" You nod with confidence. "Good. I must be off, you will be late for work. I will see you soon." She then gives off a smile before her horn lights up one last time, and leaves everything into a pure sea of whiteness.
You wake up on your bed and look around. Over at the bed stand, there is the gun. Along with it, is the clock with the glass fixed and a piece of paper right beside it. There's a stamp of a crescent moon on the bottom right of the note. You take it and read what's written on it.
Dear Anon, You seemed uncomfortable once I drafted you into the nocturnal realm. I've set your body on the bed, so that you could feel bright and wonderful upon your awakening. I've also fixed the mess that I have caused to you, it was in some way of my fault. I do hope our experience will lead you to a better future, and a better life. I shall always be open to you, and be there for your hard times. -Princess Luna.
You lower the paper and look of to your bed stand. It's almost 4 A.M. Shit, if you don't leave now, you will be late! As you get up, you look back to the bed stand and look at the Magnum. Take hold of it and examine it a little more. "Just remember son, only carry it around if you're certain." Your fathers words ran through your head. You give off a slight chuckle while opening the drawer in the night stand and leave both the note and the gun inside. Close it and run out of the room.
You take a quick shit, followed by a 5 minute shower, and conclude it with a thorough shave. You might be late, but at least you have an excuse. Slap on your signature suit, maroon red tie, and finally some stylish shoes, and head to the door leading outside. You run down the path and leave a thought floating in your head. That image of the living room with you and your special somepony never left your mind ever since you've waken up. It will become a reality here someday... someday.
