the day that (my) world stood still
Driving home from work listening to my music loud singing along with my music.
*Won't you fly high, free bird yeah!*
I push down on the accelerator as I fly down the highway at about 95 to 100 miles an hour, the music blaring through the speakers in my small car, passing cars on my left and right sides, I blow past exits and guard rails, I reach for my pack of smokes in the passenger seat, swerving back onto the road after feeling the bumps of the emergency lane on my tires. I slow down a bit to 85 miles an hour so I can have some control over my driving. Lighting up my smoke, I take a long drag then blow out the smoke of my lungs.
I adjust my self in my seat noticing my back was sore from driving for almost an hour now, I see the exit, that I need to turn on. The traffic is backed up when I get on the off ramp, slowing to a stop and waiting for the light to turn I impatiently tap on the steering wheel. Knowing that the light wont change any faster if I do so, I take off down the road when the light finally changed. Turning onto side streets to get to my neighborhood as fast as I can so I can take a shower and change into something more comfortable than my work clothes.
I unlock the front door which was strange because usually someone is home when I get off work, normally at about four in the afternoon is when I get home because of the traffic on the highway and the city roads. I know that mom gets home at about three to three thirty and dad doesn't come home till about five-ish because of the side work he has to do.
I barge through the door, lunch box on my shoulder with phone and keys in hand, my dog jumps up to greet me, "hello? Anyone home?" I yell, no reply. "Mom, brother?" still no answer. "Strange, mom should be home by now, and brother should be too unless he is working." I say to the dog, which in return she just looks at me with that depressed look on her face.
I let her outside and do my routine as I normally would when I get off work. Let the dog out, have a smoke, come back inside and get a snack, then head upstairs and take a well deserved shower and then do it again tomorrow until the weekend.
Sitting on the couch taking off my work boots after a long day in the hot sun feels nice, the air on my sweaty socks feels nice, "stay down here dog be good while I take a shower." I tell her, she just moves to the other end and lays down. Slowly walking up the stairs I pull out my phone.
Text to mom: Where are you, its about 4:30 pm and you are normally home by now. Call me when you can, love you.
I set my phone down on my bed as I strip off the sweat dampened clothes form my body and throw them into the basket near my dresser, I take the hair tie out and let my hair down, "I need a hair cut." I tell myself, as I run my hand through my hair. Gathering up a towel and heading out of my room to the bathroom.
The mirror is fogged up with steam and the air is thick. I get into the water's stream and let the dirt and sweat run down my tired and sore body. I just stand there, knowing that something is wrong. Someone should have been home already but there was no one here, except the dog. Still in deep thought about all the worst case scenarios that could have happened to my family. I grab the bar of soap from the soap dish and lather up my chest and arms, making my way down to my crotch. I lather up my balls and scrub them clean, rinsing off the soap from my body and grabbing the shampoo I squirt on my head, starting to lather my long hair and still thinking about what could have happened to mom and why she isn't home yet.
I quickly rise off the soapy lather form my head and the rest of my body and turn off the water. Drying off m wet body while trying to open the door. I fall across the hall trying to get to my room, I throw the towel into the clothes basket then look at my phone on the bed. Nothing, no texts or calls from anyone.
about half an hour passes
I am making myself dinner when i hear a knock at the door, I turn down the heat on the stove and walk to answer whoever is there. Opening the door, I notice that there are two police officers on the front step.
"What can I help you with this evening officers?" I ask politely
"Are you Milo Black wood?" One said with a mournful look in his eye
"Yes, am I being arrested for something?" I ask, a little waver of fear in my voice
"No sir you aren't being arrested, this is about your mom and dad." He replies. I can't hold it in, I start to cry, the two law men look at me and hold their heads low.
"We got a call of a wreck on the highway, the car swerved off the road crashing into head on traffic, there was no guard railing, I am sorry son." The one officer said as he put his hand on my shoulder.
All I could do was sob uncontrollably, "what will I do, you know with the bodies?" I ask through deep breaths.
"Here" he said as he handed me a note with an address on it, "its the mortuary where they are at, call there in a week and they will tell you what to do." He said as I took the note from him.
"Thanks officer, god bless." I say to them as I close the door and lock it.
I walk into the kitchen and tun off the stove, I open up the freezer and get out dad's liquor, I get a small glass and pour myself some. I knock it back, my hands are shaking to much to pour myself another glass.
about three days later
I haven't let anyone get close to me, I have still kept up appearances and such but I know that people can tell. For a young man in his twenties its hard to loose your family. There are some days that I have to be alone but I know that I can't because I have a job to do and can't go off and feel sorry for myself. Thinking is what I mostly do when I am on break or out on lunch, but there are times where I get yelled at by my journeyman for spacing out for to long or just being on the phone trying to arrange the funeral for my mom, dad, brother, and sister.
"Get off the fucking phone Milo and get back to work, if I catch you on that thing again I am writing you up and you will have to talk to Leroy at at the main office, you don't want me to do that to you now." My journeyman says to me, I hold the speaker down on my cell phone.
"Get off my fucking back man, I am trying to talk to the funeral director so I can bury my parents and siblings this weekend! So if you don't want me to do that and get back to work because I am on 'company time' then you are shallow man." I yell back at him.
He just stands there for a few minutes and hangs his head low. I get off the phone about thirty minutes later after everything is situated, I walk up to my journeyman and tell him that I was sorry for yelling, and that I am under a lot of stress trying to get things organized for this weekend.
Day of the funeral
I get ready for the funeral, I am in my black suit looking over the eulogy I had written, someone taps my shoulder as I am pulled out of my trance like state.
"We are about to begin." the pastor said to me, there was a long pause, "Milo, I am truly sorry about your loss, you know the church is here for you in your time of need."
"Thank you Matt. I just wish that I could have been there in my family's last moments." I reply
Slowly walking away form the open caskets of my brother, sister, and both my parents, I just stand on the little raised platform that was a stage of some sorts. People from all around came and gave me their condolences, I tried my best to stay strong, knowing deep down I wanted to bust out crying like a baby. Once people stopped flooding in to the church, I nodded to the men at the doors, shutting them slowly. Walking up to the podium with shaky steps fumbling with the eulogy that I wrote.
"H-hello, thank you all for coming. Before I start I would like to say a prayer, please." I motion to the crowd of people, looking out on them with their heads bowed and hands folded I start, "Dear Lord, thank you for being here today, I know it was your will that day when my family went to be with you. Please Lord keep them safe, keep all of us safe from the daily evils in our lives and guide us down the path of the narrow gate. Though we may falter in life, you are always there to look over us. Thank you for keeping watch over your flock, in His name we pray. Amen"
Everyone looks up, some with tears running down their cheeks, and some openly sobbing. I stand here stone faced with little emotion to show, I start to unfold the paper that I have in my hand and lay it out onto the podium.
"Thank you all for that." I say as I take a shaky breath, "I know that... That my brother and sister's time on God's green earth was short lived, I would like to thank them for being there in my times of need, and just being the best siblings that I could have hoped for." I start to tear up as I give my speech, "M....My dad... Dad was a hard working man, who always was there for me and my two late siblings...."
I stand there for what feels like an eternity but in reality it was only a few moments. "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I say as I walk down the aisle, tears running down my pale face.
Everyone just sits there and waits for something to happen, the pastor comes up to the podium and asks for everyone to move to the court yard out front and tells them to go. After all I gave him that option if I couldn't finish this.
My pastor finds me in the bathroom an hour later, everyone left, but there was a few people who wanted to stay behind and I knew why.
"What the heck Milo, you are just going to sit here and feel sorry for yourself, not to mention drink yourself stupid!" My pastor says to me as I sit on the floor, jacket unbuttoned and tie undone.
"What do you know, you have no fucking clue what I am going through right now. I lost my entire fucking family Matt. I can't get them back, I can't give my parent's the joy of being grandparents, or my siblings the joy of being an aunt or uncle, I am alone in this world I have no one." I say to him in a calm voice, I take another swig off the flask in my hand, "I won't have the joy of being an uncle because my bother is dead, he is dead and I didn't even tell him how much I loved him, same goes for my sister."
"You are right, I don't know what you are going through Milo, but I do know that the Lord works in mysterious ways. If you need to talk about what happened, I am here for you." Matt said in a sorrowful tone.
"Thanks, I don't think I will be showing up to church for a while, I would like some time alone." I reply to him, I get up and head out the door. The halls are empty as I walk through them with my flask still in hand, I get to the main hall's doors and open them. There were only two people sitting still. "Thank you for staying." I tell them, "I know that it means a lot to my brother that you are here."
"I just wish we could have had a little more time." He said to me, as he puts his hand on my shoulder and leaves.
There was just one more person left besides me, "I am sorry, for everything." She says
"I know you are, but I think that its time for you to go." I tell Jan, "I know that mom would want you to know that she loves you."
"Thank's Milo, tell her I am sorry for everything that I did and what happened all those years ago." Jan said as she walks away crying.
The caskets have been moved to the hearses out front, all I have to do is ride to the plot's and say my last goodbyes.
at the cemetery
I was standing there as they lowered my family into the ground, alone with nothing. I felt like crying but there was nothing there to come out, I felt a wet nose on my hand, I look down to see that my dog was whining trying to get my attention. Kneeling down on her level I hold her tight in my arms as she licks my face, "well dog, looks like it is just you and me form here on out." I tell her.
She just looks at me and cocks her head to one side as I pet her head. The undertaker let the final coffin in the ground and started to bury it with dirt. I walk towards my dad's truck and open the door to let my dog in, she is all excited that she is going on a car ride, I slowly walk to the driver side and open the door. Opening the door and climbing inside, I start the car and turn on some music, shutting the door and rolling down the window for the dog, I put the car in drive and head of towards home.
Author's Note
This story came about as I was talking with my parents (who thankfully are still alive and well, same with my siblings.) about what would happen if everyone were to die in my family and I was the only one left, besides the dog. I know it is kind of dark and sad but i think it sheds light on how we take each day for granted and the people around us.
I know that the story is a tad rushed in the middle and endings, this was not a fun story for me to write because it got me thinking about what if this shit could happen. I hope you all enjoyed it, leave comments on how I can improve my writing and there will be a follow up chapter to this on Milo's dreams after everything that has happened to him. ~~this is where Luna comes into the mix~~
Bonus chapter/ the dream world
I finally pulled into the driveway of my home after saying my final goodbyes to my family. I get out of my dad's truck and head towards the front door, fumbling with my keys and finally finding the house key.
"Come on dog, lets go inside its been a long day for the both of us." I say to her, she looks up at me with sad eyes. She runs in and gets on the couch sniffing around for mom and dad. "No one is here babe, its just you and me from now on."
I walk over to the fridge and pull out the only thing that will help me forget about this whole mess, vodka. I don't even bother getting a glass down, i open up the bottle and start to drink as I walk over to the couch, sitting down and grabbing the remote to watch some tube.
Turning on the t.v. I browse through the channels only to find that nothing is on, "figures." I say to myself turning off the t.v. I get up and walk over to the sliding door to let the dog out to let her do her business.
Taking another long drink off the bottle in my hand I watch her run around happy as can be with no care in the world, and no clue what the fuck went on the last few days. If only I could be like that, totally oblivious to the world around me, being happy, and not having to deal with this tragedy that happened to me. "Come on, lets go to bed." I yell out the door to the dog, she is hesitant to come in, "NOW!!!" I yell, not caring about who hears me. She obeys and I shut the door and lock it. I walk to the front door and lock that as well as shutting the shades in the office.
I walk up the stairs after I turned off all the lights, the dog follows me up and, heads off to my parent's room, jumping on the bed and curling up on the comforter. I don't normally go into my parent's room, but I needed something to comfort me after the long day that I had. Pulling back the sheets and getting in the king size bed, this is my dad's side of the bed, closest to the door. The sheets haven't been washed, and I could faintly smell my dad on the pillow. Tears well up in my eyes, "I love you dad, love you mom. Goodnight Matthew and Avery." I say out loud knowing nobody would answer me. I drift off to a fitful sleep.
in the void known as my dreams
I am walking down a long hallway, just aimlessly wandering about. There is a figure in the distance, a person? "Mom?" I yell out, "MOM!!" The figure doesn't turn around or even know that I am yelling, lights start to flash around me, blinding me with bright white light. I start to feel sick, like I am about to throw up or pass out.
I am light headed, and I feel weightless, kind of like a falling feeling. I hear footsteps but I have no clue where they are coming from, then there is this voice. "BE GONE!! LEAVE THIS MAN ALONE!!!" The voice was booming like something was amplifying it, there was a little bit of reverberation mixed in as well, but I have no clue what caused that.
I slowly come out of my sickly state, I look up at the thing who saved me, it was shrouded in darkness, all I could make out was wavy hair, dark black hair. "Who are you?" I ask with a weak voice.
"I am the guardian of dreams, The Princess of the night." The voice said calmly
"Are you human, or just apart of my subconscious?" I reply in the same weak voice as before
"We are human just like you, now get up and follow me." The voice said, noticing that I was on the ground, slowly I get up onto shaky legs.
"I have saved you from that nightmare, what troubles you?" The person said, my vision focusing, there was a woman standing in front of me with a dark blue dress with what seems like black wrist braces on, not like the ones you wear when you sprain your wist, but like the ones for archery.
"Thank you...." I trail off on the last part because I don't know this woman's name.
"Luna." She replies, "What bothers you so to have these nightmares?"
"I had to bury my family today, I am the only one left. I guess that I feel alone and lost." I say
"Let me show you something." Luna says, the hallway changes into my mom's van and I can see everyone in it.
"I wish that Milo could have been there for your game Matthew." My mom said as she looked out the windshield at the road.
"I wish that he was here too, but I know that he can't take a personal day from work just to watch my play soccer. I just wish that my game wasn't on a Thursday." My brother replied
Mom looks back to my brother and gives him a smile. That is when it happened, one of the tires blew out and they swerved onto the median, then onto the other side of the highway, right into an eighteen wheeler barreling down the highway.
"NO!!!" I yell out in anger, then I start to cry, "WHY WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT!!!!" I yell at Luna.
"To show you that their last thoughts were thinking about you."
"Still, that doesn't make me feel any better, that makes it worse!!! Do you get sick pleasure out of people's pain and suffering?" I say to her as my blood begins to boil.
"NO I DON'T, I WAS TRYING TO GIVE YOU CLOSURE FOR YOUR LOSS." Luna says in her thundering voice.
"Just leave me be, I think you have just broke me." I say to her with a depressed voice, "take me back."
"Why? It isn't even sunrise yet." Luna said with worry in her voice
"I don't want to be here in this nightmare, I wish to end it all." I tell her, my words hitting her like a hammer.
"I will let you awaken." Luna said as she then snapped her finger
awake and depressed
I roll over and look at my phone, 4:44 am. I roll over in my parent's bed, the dog is on the pillow where my mom's side.
"Fuck me." I say quietly, I slowly start to pull back the sheets and get up, careful not to wake the sleeping dog that is next to me.
Quietly I sneak down the stairs, stumbling to find the light switch for the bar lights over the island, finally turning them on I see a person sitting on the couch. I motion at my hip realizing that I don't have my knife "that's right I am in my boxers." I mumble
"Hello Milo." The person says, "don't be afraid." That voice sounds familiar.
"Luna?" I say, confusion coming over me
"Yes, we are sorry for making you watch those memories." She said, sorrow is heavy in her voice. "Hath I known how you would react to that, I would have never shown you."
I don't have any words, letting out a sigh as I look on the counter for my pack of cigarettes. I take one out with shaky hand putting it in my lips. "You should have known better than to show me those memories Luna." I said, my speech a bit muffled by the cigarette between my lips, I light the end and inhale the smoke, "I think you should leave, I want to be alone." I tell her
"No, we don't know what you are going to do to thyself, we don't want thy blood on our hands." Luna said her voice wavering a bit.
"Just go, I don't want you to see me like this." I say as I walk over to the front door unlocking it then opening it.
"Very well then we shall take leave then." Luna said, she gets up and walks toward the door "my condolences on your family Milo Blackwood."
I shut the door behind me and lock it quickly.
Luna walks out onto the driveway, looking back at the house a tear running down her cheek. "I only wanted to help you Milo." she said quietly. Turning around and walking down the street, everything is quiet except for a few chirps of crickets. Openly crying now, Luna readies a teleportation spell.
BANG, BANG. Two gunshots go off, Luna can't hold it in any longer as she sobs loudly then dissipates into the night.
