Dearest Diary...

by TheMareinTheMoon

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance, Original Character, Queen Chrysalis, Sex, Main 6
Length: 2097

Step into the life of a whisper...A shadow who's always been there

To all who may find this diary...

You are stepping into the life of a nobody.
A shadow.

You've probably seen me before...
But never knew I was there.

This is where I've been.
Always in the backround.

This is our tale...
Both of me.

~Mirror Image

(Taking place in the same universe as "The End Of a Nightmare", prior reading is not necessary, but may contain spoilers)

Published 2012-06-12 23:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-29 23:50:17 UTC

Preface

Prologue
“Stop”

Why are you reading this?

Who gave this to you?

How did you find this?

Well, however you found this, you should stop. now.

The life of a shadow is of no use to anyone...

I guess there’s no stopping you now.

My name is Noctus. I am a changeling.
My name is Mirror Image. And I am an earth pony.

I am Mirror, and Mirror is me.

I created her to be my better self.

Who could love a changeling?

I’ve been mirror for months now...
I’ve seen things, that I wish I hadn’t.
I’ve met some ponies I shouldn’t have.

Please...I warn you again.

Put this down.

My story should never have to be relived.
By anyone.

But If you must continue, Don’t look for me.

I’ll probably already be gone.

This is our story.
Both of us.

Entry One "Lost"

Entry One,
"Lost"

Dear Diary,

I don't know where I am...

The last thing I remember was the attack.

The zebras had no idea we were coming, we planned it that way. Well, the queen did. We all swarmed the place, the village was destroyed, I can still hear the screaming, it wasn't the first time we'd raided before...but it was mine.

But now I'm here.
Wherever that may be.

All I know is that this place is a lot darker than the queen described it.

I walked for hours after I woke up, I didn't even know where I was going. I looked above me and saw the flying cloud of changelings headed home, but I couldn't join them, my wing was broken. I still don't know how. I tried calling them, I screamed until my voice gave out, but they just kept moving. Maybe someone hit me...I can't think of who could though, I barely knew anyone.
Raids are like that...so I've heard.

It was so quiet it hurt. Growing up in the hive it was never quiet, you could always hear someone flying around, there's always work to be done, or at least there was.

My hooves felt like giving out, and all I'd seen were trees not a single living soul. I very nearly let myslef just lie there, when I saw something out of the corner of my eye.

It looked like a house, albiet small, but more importantly, vacant.
Wooden planks hung off the sides, windows were broken, but it was something.

Naturally, my hooves jumped at the opporitunity for shelter, and I ran towards the small home.

It was the worst mistake I'd ever made.

It was small, and quaint. At least, I think so...
I immidiately ran toward the kitchen sink and splashed water on my face
I had to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I hoped I was.

Sadly I was awake.

I looked in the mirror above the sink for a moment, but I was still me.

How could they just leave me? Queen Chrysalis always said the hive was our family. How could they abandon me?

Granted, I've never been popular with the others, frankly I was near invisible, but I didn't mind.
Seeing as female changelings are a rarity among the hive, males usually jump at the chance, but I was fine with being ignored. I didn't like them anyway.

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a sound that sent a shiver down my spine.

I stopped in place and perked my ears, and I could hear...moaning.
It sounded like someone was hurt. I could hear the dryness in their voice, as if they had been screaming for a long time.

It was coming from the basement.

Every sensible part of me said that I should run. And I was more than ready to, but then I remembered the zebras...how they screamed. We destroyed everything they loved, including their love itself.
All for the queen.

I opened the basement door and quickly descended the staircase.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw there.

Blood. Blood everywhere.

It coated the walls, the ceiling, the floors.
It was dark, but a light from a small lamp illuminated the crimson liquid.

Surgical tools were scattered across the room, and there were...corpses..everywhere.

Or at least what was left of them.

These were pony's bodies. I'd never seen one in person before, but this is not how I ever wanted to.

I became sick to my stomach as the smell of death pefrorated my nostrils.
The moaning had stopped as soon as I located its source.

A cream colored earth pony in the middle of the room strapped to a table, purple and pink mane, cutie mark appeared to be..candy?
I'll never forget her face. It was an expression of sheer terror.

The mutilated pony had died before I reached her...
I was crying tears of fear and shock by this point. Never could I have imagined the outside world could be so cruel.

I was cut short.

A noise from upstairs nearly stopped my heart. There was a door slamming, and then the sound of hoofsteps on the floor above me. I froze, I didn't know what to do, my blood ran cold and I thought to myself "I'm going to die right now, in a house in the middle of nowhere."

The steps grew louder as I continued to shake, I could hear the steps nearing the basement door, which I had left open. My eyes darted in every direction, desperate to find somewhere to hide, when my eyes fell back on the pony in the middle of the room.

I ran up to it and removed the body from the table. "Sorry, sorry" I mumbled to the body as I shoved the cold pony to the corner. I looked at the body and focused, it was hard to look at the corpse...I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't. In a couple seconds I took it's form and layed in its position.

The cold metal slab stung as it touched my back, but I had to stay still...I heard hoofsteps going down the stairs.

He was a grey stallion. His head bandaged, and his mane hanging down in front of his face. he looked upset.

He walked through the bodies of other ponies, emotionless, until he was inches away from me.

He gave sharp smile as he put his hoof on my chest. It took every bit of my energy to restrain myself from screaming.
He took a knife from the table next to him and slowly pressed it against me. I began to sweat in fear.

That's when he noticed.

His smile became wider, and his eyes grew wild as he grabbed me by my throat and shoved me into the wall.

"I knew it..." He whispered in my ear, "Try to invade my home? A bit foolish if you ask me..."

I begged, I told him it was a mistake, I tried to explain, but it was like he had tuned me out. He heard nothing, he just began to look me up and down with that same grin...

Tears formed in my eyes, but he ignored those too.

"Oh, I've never had a changeling before..." He whispered again, "I'm sure Pinkamina would be proud..."

I was shaking. I didn't know who that was, but the look in his eyes paralyzed me.

He began to rub the knife up and down my thigh, while continuing to stare into my eyes.
My legs clenched, and I began to sob loudly, but it only seemed to make him advance further.

"But first..." He whispered, brething down my neck, "some fun..."

His hoof went lower down my body...slower. And he stared at me with those eyes.
Fear shot through my whole body as I shook profusely. I knew nobody would be able to hear me scream, and as I looked at the body of the pony in the middle of the room, my eyes welled up with tears again.

I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and just tried to pretend I was somewhere else...

Then there was another noise upstairs.

It was a girl...She was yelling something..I couldn't make it out.

The stallion turned around for a moment

Just long enough for me to send a back hoof into his chest.

It was impulse, but I took advantage. He held his stomach, coughing, swearing under his breath, while I ran to the shadows.

He looked around, but only for a couple of seconds before running upstairs, toward the voice. I breathed a sigh of relief, but then realize I still had to leave the place. Luckily he had left the door open.

I looked around the horrid room, one last time, before drying my eyes and snaking my way up the stairs.

I saw them, together, in the kitchen. The girl was small, that much I could tell.
An innocent looking pink pegasus, If i remember correctly.
They were...hugging.

I was confused, but I didn't have time to stick around, I slipped out the open window while they were...preoccupied.

I ran as fast as I could....

And never looked back.

Now I'm out again. With no shelter.
I don't know what I'm going to do once I finish writing this.
But if I'm still alive in the morning I'll be sure to let you know...

Entry Two "Mirror"

Entry Two,
"Mirror"

Dear Diary,

I am done being me.

When I finally found shelter after escaping, I sat there for hours.
I couldn't sleep. Couldn't think. The only thing I could feel was fear.

I could be dead right now. I should be.
It's not like anyone would notice...
I'm just a changeling. One of Millions. We die every day.

I sat and waited. I didn't sleep, because I knew if I even tried, my head would be filled with nightmares.

I was worthless. What was the point of continuing?
It would be like I was never there to begin with.

But then I remembered something, diary.
I remembered the stories I'd been told. About ponies.
Not the rants that Chrysalis gave, or the things they taught us.
The stories I heard scouts share when they returned home.

They spoke about a place filled with color, and happiness.
Where they all do as they please...live their own lives

It was raining, I remember.
And as I looked down at the puddle in front of me, I saw....this figure...Staring back at me...
I hated it.

Why couldn’t I be like them?
Why did I have to be born... Like this? The rules of being a changeling are much different than that of ponies... We have more rules and regulations...
Why couldn’t I be like them?
They had fun...They laughed...They loved...Why couldn’t I do that?

Then I thought of something, diary...
What If I could?

At first, I thought it would be a crazy idea, but... as I thought about it, I thought about all the advantages that this could have for me... I could finally be like one of them... experience the world from a different perspective...

I was a changeling, but...did I have to be?
I still wonder why I didn’t have this idea earlier... The one special ability that changeling has is it’s ability to change...
So I would do just that.

But...I’d do something a bit different than what anyone has ever done before... I would try to become somepony who has never existed....
I looked down at the puddle, seeing my hideous reflection for a long time as I thought. I was more than ready to say goodbye to the face I saw.

So I did, Diary...
I did it.

Noctus, the changeling, stayed in that puddle, while a new being came out. More specifically, it was a pony... A black pony, with the same emerald eyes as I had before.

I still remember looking down at the puddle... witnessing what my new face looked like... The look of shock and disbelief on my face. I, honestly, didn’t think that I could do it, diary. What no Changeling had ever done before... but I did it... I pulled it off.

I can finally be happy with my image... Now, all I need is a new name. Noctus just didn’t sound like a name for a Pony.

One more look at my reflection gave me the inspiration I needed.

I was done being one of the hive....
A faceless drone in the crowd...
I was done being a changeling.
I was done being Noctus.

I am Mirror Image, and I am an earth pony.