Uncalled For

In the midst of the cold winter snow, a lone Earth pony trudged through the snow laden path. She was a petit cream coloured mare. Her long lavender mane, tied into twintails with pink scrunchies flowed loosely in the evening wind. To stop the cold from freezing her coat off, she sported a thick crimson sweater and dark red boots.

Stallions of every age and race stopped to stare at her presence whenever she passed by. But then again, that was the usual reaction she got from ponies. Those who knew her personally would have stopped, though. They have far too much experience with her antics to marvel at her grace and poise.

Stopping right in front of the local park gazebo, the mare felt her stomach grumbling. She scoffed, her expression turning to one that looked as if she had eaten some sour grapes. With all the grace of a magnificent eagle, she opened her mouth and muttered to herself.

“Damn, I messed up!”

She could have gone to the local café, but no! She had to have one of her cravings right now, just after closing up shop when her hunger was at its peak. And the weirdest part? She was craving ice cream. In the middle of winter. She was really starting to question why she listened to her stomach so much.

“ARGH! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!!”

The mare started stomping on the ground, fully intent on trying to cause one earthquake when her stomach grumbled once more, forcing her to clutch it in pain.

“You better be open, Sugarcube Corner. Or I swear I will personally fu-”

Her ranting was halted as soon as she noticed something jutting out of the bushes right next to the gazebo. Two pale red hind legs and a bushy brown tail. She pondered the scene for a moment, wondering if sticking legs into bushes was a new prank the colts had thought up of. It wouldn’t surprise her. She’s seen weirder pranks in her life.

Just as she was about to leave the flank alone, a memory suddenly resurfaced in her head. It had happened around a week ago. A stallion had thought that he was lucky enough to score with her, and had asked her out right at this very gazebo. A thing or two happened later, and the stallion soon found himself stuck inside that very bush. Could it be…?

How was she going to prove herself innocent in court this time?

“Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!” she panicked, running towards the pony so fast she left speed lines behind “Ahh! Uhm, okay. I didn’t kill that guy. This is just a coincidence. Really! My hoofprints aren’t even on him! Good thing I was wearing shoes back then. Wait. NO! I didn’t kill him! GAH!!”

With all the strength she could muster, the mare grabbed the stallion’s tail and dragged him out forcefully. She needed to be quick. Maybe she could throw him in the river? No, Fluttershy would probably find him there. The well? Too obvious. Wait, there’s the Everfree Forest! She’d be lucky as long as the Elements of Harmony didn’t have to go there for the third time this week!

“Urgh…”

“Shut up! I’m trying to think of a good place to bury you!” she managed to grumble out as well as she could with a tail in her mouth

“Wha…?” the stallion rubbed his forehead for a moment “Bury...? Did you try the Everfree Forest?”

“Nah, ponies go in there all the time. I can’t…” the mare stopped, her mind finally putting two and two together

“Um, sorry if I sound rude or anything, but why do you want to bury me?”

“AGH!!”

*SMACK*

Her hoof had automatically flung itself towards the stallion’s face, knocking him out cold. If she wasn’t in trouble before, she is now. Cursing her body’s natural response to punch stallions, the mare grabbed the body and started dragging him once again. Pinkie Pie probably wouldn’t ask too many questions. Yeah, she probably won’t mind that she’s bringing a dead body into Sugarcube Corner!

The trip to the confectionery was murder for her. Ponies stared at her whenever she passed by, and all she could do was give a hearty ‘Good evening! Such a nice weather to not go to jail, huh?’. She was starting to wonder if she looked suspicious, but decided to ignore that feeling for now. There was simply far too much to think about now, namely what ice cream to choose and how much she had to pay Pinkie Pie to keep quiet about this.

Luckily, she managed to enter Sugarcube Corner without any incidents occurring. Thank Celestia the small town didn’t have a police force. Plopping the body onto a chair, she then walked up to the counter and tried to casually order the Quadruple Super Deluxe Ice Cream Splatter, the most expensive item on the menu, without attracting any attention.

“Oh~” Pinkie Pie drawled on, stifling a giggle “It’s one of those days, huh?”

“What do you mean, one of those days? It’s totally not one of those days! What are you talking about?!”

“Don’t worry, I understand,” the patissier giggled, writing the order down “I’ve had one of those ‘knock someone so hard you thought you killed them’ days myself! I always found chocolate to be a good way to calm my nerves!”

The bubbly mare then hopped off into the kitchen, glad that Gummy gave her the idea to start making preparations for the dessert this morning.

“Oh yeah, before I forget!” Pinkie Pie’s head popped out of the kitchen doors, surprising the mare “There’s a table right next to the counter. See those mugs? Take one and put it right under that guy’s nose. He’ll wake up in no time!”

She pulled her head back into the kitchen, ready to work on the ice cream.

Confused and scared, the mare followed Pinkie’s orders and grabbed a tray with said mug and trotted back towards her seat. She gave the drink inside a stare, wondering just what the thick black juice really was. Thinking that it wasn’t really that important, she pushed the drink towards the stallion and waited.

It didn’t even take ten seconds.

“Sweet Merciful Luna!” the stallion shot up, his eyes as large as dinner plates and his pupils were tiny pinpricks “The heck is that?!”

“Phew, I’m not going to jail,” the mare sighed, her body sinking lower into her chair

“Urgh, I don’t even care anymore…” he mumbled, lazily picking up the mug and taking a huge gulp. Halfway through the cup, he threw the mug away and spat the drink out, right into the mare’s face “That tasted like octopus ink and roast peanuts! What did you make me drink?!”

“Hey, I didn’t make you drink anything, buster,” she gave the stallion a death glare before turning back to her clothes “Damn, these stains are gonna be hell to clean…”

The stallion was just about to rebut before he realised that she was technically telling the truth. It wasn’t like he was going to win if he fought back, either. She didn’t seem like the type to back out without a fight.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” he admitted, earning a smug grin from the mare “I guess I should thank you for saving me, though. The name’s Spirit. Nice to finally have a conversation with you!” he held out a hoof, to which the mare stared at him.

“Scarlett Arrow, with two ‘T’s,” she replied, ignoring the hoof to continue trying to wipe her clothes clean with a tissue

“You don’t need to introduce yourself,” Spirit said, earning a stare that screamed ‘stalker’ “I-I mean, Ponyville’s a small town, right? Who doesn’t at least know everypony’s name here?”

To further illustrate his point, he waved at a nearby mare, shouting ‘Nice day, eh, Sweetie Drops?’.

The cream mare with her blue and pink mane stared back, internally screaming in panic “My name’s Bon Bon!” she then ran out the doors, muttering something about her cover being blown.

“A-Anyway…” Spirit tried to drag the conversation to a different topic “I thought I was a goner, really! Usually it’ll take a few days before anypony even notices me there.”

Scarlett stared at the stallion, from his red coat to his brown longish mane. He had an olive cap on top of his head, as well as a pair of pale grey goggles. A long, hideous brown scarf was wrapped around his neck, and he wore neon blue boots. If anything, she was sure ponies would have noticed him for his horrid fashion sense.

“Liar,” Scarlett said matter-of-factly. Spirit’s face fell, almost to the point of tears. Great, the last thing she needed was somepony seeing her and thinking that she was the villain in this situation “So how long have you been in town? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“I… I’ve lived here my whole life,” Spirit replied, his face falling even deeper into despair “I work at the comic book store a few houses away from your clothes store. We pass by each other every morning! Granted, we never actually talked, but I at least know you!”

“Eh?” she cocked her head to the side “Really?”

“It’s true!” Spirit whined, slamming his hooves on the table “I can even prove it to you!”

“No thanks! You can keep your stalking memos to yourself!”

“I’m not a stalker!”

“Oh yeah? Prove it!”

“How?!”

“Your ice cream is here!” Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared out of nowhere, shocking the two ponies off of the table as she placed the huge dessert bowl right in front of Scarlett “So, that’ll cost around-”

“He’s paying,” Scarlett pointed towards Spirit, who looked like someone had just dropped an anvil on his head.

Spirit stumbled over his words, trying to think of a good excuse to drop the bill. When he couldn’t find one, he sighed and plopped his head on the table, giving up “Fine, you did save my life and all… Oh yeah, Pinkie! You know who I am, right?”

She knew everypony in town! There was no way she didn’t know who he was!

“Hmm?” the mare stared at him for a moment. Her face soon scrunched up in confusion as she tried to remember. Her smile soon turned into a frown as she realised that there was somepony in Ponyville that she didn’t know. Faking the best smile she could make, Pinkie turned to look at her hoof “Well, would you look at the time? I need to go bathe Gummy! I-I’ll be back!”

Pinkie Pie darted upstairs, leaving nothing but a dust cloud in her shape behind. It was time to consult her basement!

“… Pinkie…” Spirit sobbed, knowing that his last hope had failed him. He turned to face Scarlett again, who’s smug smirk was all up in his face

“So as thanks for saving your life, and as a bribe to shut me up from telling everyone that you’re a stalker, you’ll pay for my dinner. Sounds fair, right?” she took a big spoonful of ice cream and stuffed it down her face.

“I guess I don’t have a choice at this point,” Spirit sighed, taking out his wallet from underneath his olive cap “Wait, that’s your dinner? No way. It’s winter for crying out loud!”

“Is there something wrong with eating ice cream for dinner in winter?!” Scarlett shouted back, pointing her spoon at him as if it was a weapon.

“Well, all things considered, yeah,” Spirit instantly regretted his statement as soon as he saw Scarlett’s thousand dagger stare “Uhh, what I meant to say was… I’ll buy you something else for dinner! Yeah, you need your vitamins and all that!”

“Sweet! Free food!” Scarlett grinned, taking another scoop of her ice cream.

Silently, Spirit wept over his wallet. And to think he was just about to buy a new figurine, too.

Meanwhile, down in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was busy rummaging through her many files on the denizens of Ponyville. She really ought to go back to work, or Mr. Carrot Cake was going to dock her pay again. But to Pinkie, this was much more important. Gummy was nearby, standing on top of the cabinet holding the folders from the letters ‘M’ through ‘S’.

The gator started chewing on the corner of a folder, earning Pinkie’s attention. She quickly grabbed the folder and squealed.

“Spirit! Of course!” Pinkie Pie grabbed her pet and kissed him “Wow, I always forget about him. But not anymore! WHOO!”

Her voice echoed through the building, confusing the two ponies upstairs.