Uncalled For

by Festus

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Slice of Life
Length: 4739

Short stories of the growing love life between two ponies, starting from the day they first met one winter evening.

One is a hot headed tailor with a penchant for causing a scene. The other is a comic book store owner with little to no presence whatsoever. One winter evening, these two opposing characters meet by chance in the wildest of ways. They don't know it yet, but their lives were soon going to be intertwined in so many ways.

If they could survive that long, that is.

Published 2015-07-05 05:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-25 16:25:21 UTC

Winter Meeting

In the midst of the cold winter snow, a lone Earth pony trudged through the snow laden path. She was a petit cream coloured mare. Her long lavender mane, tied into twintails with pink scrunchies flowed loosely in the evening wind. To stop the cold from freezing her coat off, she sported a thick crimson sweater and dark red boots.

Stallions of every age and race stopped to stare at her presence whenever she passed by. But then again, that was the usual reaction she got from ponies. Those who knew her personally would have stopped, though. They have far too much experience with her antics to marvel at her grace and poise.

Stopping right in front of the local park gazebo, the mare felt her stomach grumbling. She scoffed, her expression turning to one that looked as if she had eaten some sour grapes. With all the grace of a magnificent eagle, she opened her mouth and muttered to herself.

“Damn, I messed up!”

She could have gone to the local café, but no! She had to have one of her cravings right now, just after closing up shop when her hunger was at its peak. And the weirdest part? She was craving ice cream. In the middle of winter. She was really starting to question why she listened to her stomach so much.

“ARGH! Dammit! Dammit! Dammit!!”

The mare started stomping on the ground, fully intent on trying to cause one earthquake when her stomach grumbled once more, forcing her to clutch it in pain.

“You better be open, Sugarcube Corner. Or I swear I will personally fu-”

Her ranting was halted as soon as she noticed something jutting out of the bushes right next to the gazebo. Two pale red hind legs and a bushy brown tail. She pondered the scene for a moment, wondering if sticking legs into bushes was a new prank the colts had thought up of. It wouldn’t surprise her. She’s seen weirder pranks in her life.

Just as she was about to leave the flank alone, a memory suddenly resurfaced in her head. It had happened around a week ago. A stallion had thought that he was lucky enough to score with her, and had asked her out right at this very gazebo. A thing or two happened later, and the stallion soon found himself stuck inside that very bush. Could it be…?

How was she going to prove herself innocent in court this time?

“Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!” she panicked, running towards the pony so fast she left speed lines behind “Ahh! Uhm, okay. I didn’t kill that guy. This is just a coincidence. Really! My hoofprints aren’t even on him! Good thing I was wearing shoes back then. Wait. NO! I didn’t kill him! GAH!!”

With all the strength she could muster, the mare grabbed the stallion’s tail and dragged him out forcefully. She needed to be quick. Maybe she could throw him in the river? No, Fluttershy would probably find him there. The well? Too obvious. Wait, there’s the Everfree Forest! She’d be lucky as long as the Elements of Harmony didn’t have to go there for the third time this week!

“Urgh…”

“Shut up! I’m trying to think of a good place to bury you!” she managed to grumble out as well as she could with a tail in her mouth

“Wha…?” the stallion rubbed his forehead for a moment “Bury...? Did you try the Everfree Forest?”

“Nah, ponies go in there all the time. I can’t…” the mare stopped, her mind finally putting two and two together

“Um, sorry if I sound rude or anything, but why do you want to bury me?”

“AGH!!”

*SMACK*

Her hoof had automatically flung itself towards the stallion’s face, knocking him out cold. If she wasn’t in trouble before, she is now. Cursing her body’s natural response to punch stallions, the mare grabbed the body and started dragging him once again. Pinkie Pie probably wouldn’t ask too many questions. Yeah, she probably won’t mind that she’s bringing a dead body into Sugarcube Corner!

The trip to the confectionery was murder for her. Ponies stared at her whenever she passed by, and all she could do was give a hearty ‘Good evening! Such a nice weather to not go to jail, huh?’. She was starting to wonder if she looked suspicious, but decided to ignore that feeling for now. There was simply far too much to think about now, namely what ice cream to choose and how much she had to pay Pinkie Pie to keep quiet about this.

Luckily, she managed to enter Sugarcube Corner without any incidents occurring. Thank Celestia the small town didn’t have a police force. Plopping the body onto a chair, she then walked up to the counter and tried to casually order the Quadruple Super Deluxe Ice Cream Splatter, the most expensive item on the menu, without attracting any attention.

“Oh~” Pinkie Pie drawled on, stifling a giggle “It’s one of those days, huh?”

“What do you mean, one of those days? It’s totally not one of those days! What are you talking about?!”

“Don’t worry, I understand,” the patissier giggled, writing the order down “I’ve had one of those ‘knock someone so hard you thought you killed them’ days myself! I always found chocolate to be a good way to calm my nerves!”

The bubbly mare then hopped off into the kitchen, glad that Gummy gave her the idea to start making preparations for the dessert this morning.

“Oh yeah, before I forget!” Pinkie Pie’s head popped out of the kitchen doors, surprising the mare “There’s a table right next to the counter. See those mugs? Take one and put it right under that guy’s nose. He’ll wake up in no time!”

She pulled her head back into the kitchen, ready to work on the ice cream.

Confused and scared, the mare followed Pinkie’s orders and grabbed a tray with said mug and trotted back towards her seat. She gave the drink inside a stare, wondering just what the thick black juice really was. Thinking that it wasn’t really that important, she pushed the drink towards the stallion and waited.

It didn’t even take ten seconds.

“Sweet Merciful Luna!” the stallion shot up, his eyes as large as dinner plates and his pupils were tiny pinpricks “The heck is that?!”

“Phew, I’m not going to jail,” the mare sighed, her body sinking lower into her chair

“Urgh, I don’t even care anymore…” he mumbled, lazily picking up the mug and taking a huge gulp. Halfway through the cup, he threw the mug away and spat the drink out, right into the mare’s face “That tasted like octopus ink and roast peanuts! What did you make me drink?!”

“Hey, I didn’t make you drink anything, buster,” she gave the stallion a death glare before turning back to her clothes “Damn, these stains are gonna be hell to clean…”

The stallion was just about to rebut before he realised that she was technically telling the truth. It wasn’t like he was going to win if he fought back, either. She didn’t seem like the type to back out without a fight.

“Alright, alright, I get it,” he admitted, earning a smug grin from the mare “I guess I should thank you for saving me, though. The name’s Spirit. Nice to finally have a conversation with you!” he held out a hoof, to which the mare stared at him.

“Scarlett Arrow, with two ‘T’s,” she replied, ignoring the hoof to continue trying to wipe her clothes clean with a tissue

“You don’t need to introduce yourself,” Spirit said, earning a stare that screamed ‘stalker’ “I-I mean, Ponyville’s a small town, right? Who doesn’t at least know everypony’s name here?”

To further illustrate his point, he waved at a nearby mare, shouting ‘Nice day, eh, Sweetie Drops?’.

The cream mare with her blue and pink mane stared back, internally screaming in panic “My name’s Bon Bon!” she then ran out the doors, muttering something about her cover being blown.

“A-Anyway…” Spirit tried to drag the conversation to a different topic “I thought I was a goner, really! Usually it’ll take a few days before anypony even notices me there.”

Scarlett stared at the stallion, from his red coat to his brown longish mane. He had an olive cap on top of his head, as well as a pair of pale grey goggles. A long, hideous brown scarf was wrapped around his neck, and he wore neon blue boots. If anything, she was sure ponies would have noticed him for his horrid fashion sense.

“Liar,” Scarlett said matter-of-factly. Spirit’s face fell, almost to the point of tears. Great, the last thing she needed was somepony seeing her and thinking that she was the villain in this situation “So how long have you been in town? I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“I… I’ve lived here my whole life,” Spirit replied, his face falling even deeper into despair “I work at the comic book store a few houses away from your clothes store. We pass by each other every morning! Granted, we never actually talked, but I at least know you!”

“Eh?” she cocked her head to the side “Really?”

“It’s true!” Spirit whined, slamming his hooves on the table “I can even prove it to you!”

“No thanks! You can keep your stalking memos to yourself!”

“I’m not a stalker!”

“Oh yeah? Prove it!”

“How?!”

“Your ice cream is here!” Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared out of nowhere, shocking the two ponies off of the table as she placed the huge dessert bowl right in front of Scarlett “So, that’ll cost around-”

“He’s paying,” Scarlett pointed towards Spirit, who looked like someone had just dropped an anvil on his head.

Spirit stumbled over his words, trying to think of a good excuse to drop the bill. When he couldn’t find one, he sighed and plopped his head on the table, giving up “Fine, you did save my life and all… Oh yeah, Pinkie! You know who I am, right?”

She knew everypony in town! There was no way she didn’t know who he was!

“Hmm?” the mare stared at him for a moment. Her face soon scrunched up in confusion as she tried to remember. Her smile soon turned into a frown as she realised that there was somepony in Ponyville that she didn’t know. Faking the best smile she could make, Pinkie turned to look at her hoof “Well, would you look at the time? I need to go bathe Gummy! I-I’ll be back!”

Pinkie Pie darted upstairs, leaving nothing but a dust cloud in her shape behind. It was time to consult her basement!

“… Pinkie…” Spirit sobbed, knowing that his last hope had failed him. He turned to face Scarlett again, who’s smug smirk was all up in his face

“So as thanks for saving your life, and as a bribe to shut me up from telling everyone that you’re a stalker, you’ll pay for my dinner. Sounds fair, right?” she took a big spoonful of ice cream and stuffed it down her face.

“I guess I don’t have a choice at this point,” Spirit sighed, taking out his wallet from underneath his olive cap “Wait, that’s your dinner? No way. It’s winter for crying out loud!”

“Is there something wrong with eating ice cream for dinner in winter?!” Scarlett shouted back, pointing her spoon at him as if it was a weapon.

“Well, all things considered, yeah,” Spirit instantly regretted his statement as soon as he saw Scarlett’s thousand dagger stare “Uhh, what I meant to say was… I’ll buy you something else for dinner! Yeah, you need your vitamins and all that!”

“Sweet! Free food!” Scarlett grinned, taking another scoop of her ice cream.

Silently, Spirit wept over his wallet. And to think he was just about to buy a new figurine, too.

Meanwhile, down in the basement of Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was busy rummaging through her many files on the denizens of Ponyville. She really ought to go back to work, or Mr. Carrot Cake was going to dock her pay again. But to Pinkie, this was much more important. Gummy was nearby, standing on top of the cabinet holding the folders from the letters ‘M’ through ‘S’.

The gator started chewing on the corner of a folder, earning Pinkie’s attention. She quickly grabbed the folder and squealed.

“Spirit! Of course!” Pinkie Pie grabbed her pet and kissed him “Wow, I always forget about him. But not anymore! WHOO!”

Her voice echoed through the building, confusing the two ponies upstairs.

Shopping

“Freakin’ winter. Can’t believe we actually fucked the weather up on purpose...” Spirit grumbled to himself as he pushed open the door to the stationery store

A bell rang with a loud ring-a-ding dong, but the stallion manning the cashier did not even give him a half-assed ‘Welcome’. He merely sat on his dull brown stool, reading a dull blue book about a dull old war in a dull old kingdom. In his early years, Spirit would cough and splutter, hack and sneeze, just to gain their attention. The other customers did not understand his sentiment, however, and called the hospital on account of a mad pony set loose.

More than ninety percent of his hospital bills were because of those false accusations, and Spirit had learned that cashiers were just rude and grumpy 24/7, no matter what his cashier friends claim.

Trotting past the unsavoury pony, Spirit found himself in between rows and rows of art supplies. This was one of the few places he had felt at home, felt like he actually belonged instead of just part of the scenery. Pens and brushes and paper all greeted him humbly, begging the stallion to pick them up and use them, draw with them, create with them. However, Spirit did not yield. He came for one brand, and only one brand.

As he made his way through the art supplies, Spirit apologised to each and every one of them. If he could, he would have bought them all right there and then. But alas, he can’t. So he shan’t. Spirit made his way to the far end of the store, where the supplies were in a much messier state. Boxes were soggy and torn up, and the tools here felt much more sinister, much grumpier and evil than the ones out front.

“We meet again, my old friends,” Spirit whispered under his breath, staring at the inventory as if they were about to lash at him and stab his spleen

Spirit swung his forehoof quickly, grabbing all of the tools he needed in a single motion. Several pens, erasers, pencils, and stacks of paper were slid skilfully into his bright neon yellow saddle as if he was a well-worn thief. He actually had considered that before, but dropped the idea as soon as he realised that playing cops and robbers without any cops would be pretty boring.

Satisfied with his purchases, Spirit turned to pay for the merchandise; Taking one step, two steps, three steps, before bumping into another pony. He robotically apologised, far too used to crashing into others by accident every other day.

“Get a pair of glasses, dammit!” the pony whisper-shouted “Wait… YOU!”

Spirit, who wasn’t focusing on the pony in question, stood up in shock. There was only one pony he knew that had a vocal chord that loud. With a gulp and a shiver, he turned to face the stunning cream mare who had a permanent scowl on her face.

“S-Scarlett! Fancy meeting you here!”

“I know, right?” Scarlett Arrow replied, her voice attracting the attention of several customers “Man, I haven’t seen you in, what, days? Weeks?”

“I just said ‘hi’ to you yesterday evening,”

“You did? Huh,” she tapped her chin for a moment before pushing the thought aside “Well, maybe if you spoke up a bit, I would have noticed!”

“You clearly replied to me!” Spirit’s face would have glowed red if it wasn’t already red in the first place

“Eeeeeehh… can’t remember. Sorry!”

Releasing a sigh he never knew he was holding, Spirit glanced at the items Scarlett had in her saddle. There were quills and pens and ink of every single colour. Scissors and rulers were also stashed in between several rolls of parchment, ticking him off when he saw that the delicate paper was already scrunched up. They were all of very high quality, and some of the most expensive ones to boot.

He wasn’t surprised. He expected Scarlett to be filthy stinking rich just based on her clothes. Every day, she would wear something new that he had never seen before. Whether it be a new scarf, or a shirt, a sweater, or even boots. In fact, the only thing he recalled to ever see her wear more than once is her scrunchies.

Spirit imagined himself being as rich as her, thinking of the quality product he could print out if only he had the cash to pay for them all. But alas, this was the fate of a pony who lived in a world where adventure is literally around every corner and the most dangerous place on the planet is right next door. Nopony wanted comic books. That meant that his business was only used for a niche few. And even then, they were slowly losing interest in the medium.

With a forlorn gaze, her thought of how to continue the conversation. Hoping not to sound rude, he replied with a generic “I didn’t know you drew,”

“WHAT?!”

He clearly failed.

“Just so you know, I am a tailor. A fashion designer! How can I be one if I can’t freakin’ draw my designs?!”

More and more ponies were starting to crowd around the two of them, whispering rumours that were sure to ruin Spirit’s life for the next few days. Normally, he would have apologised to Scarlett and be done with it, but he couldn’t. Not with this many ponies looking at him, staring into his soul like he had just sinned in the worst possible way. Not to Scarlett, who would not stop when she was on a roll. It was at that very moment, with a furious mare steaming in front of him and several ponies wondering what had caused such an outburst, that Spirit realised something.

He didn’t like the attention.

All throughout his life, Spirit was a nobody, a phantom wherever he went. Ponies barely ever noticed him when he walked by. Waiters would pass by his table, not noticing that he had been sitting there for thirty minutes. Friends would forget to invite him to any get-togethers and apologise, only to forget to invite him to the next. He had never known what it would feel like to be in the centre of attention. Now that he was, he quickly wanted to stop being one.

“Uh… Spirit?”

His discomfort was quickly noticed by Scarlett, whose brow was starting to show signs of worry for a change. When had her rage calm down? Wasn’t she just fuming a few seconds ago? Spirit did not know, and he did not care.

No longer able to handle the stress, Spirit darted straight for the exit, crashing through the door so loudly it nearly broke off its hinges. Eyes that were staring at him slowly went back to what they were doing previously, as if nothing had happened at all in those few seconds.

“Well, that was weird,” a sea green mare with her long dark mane tied into a ponytail muttered. She wiped her freckled muzzle, a quirk she normally did, and turned to look at Scarlett “Did you know him, Scarlett?”

Her friend did not reply. In fact, she was not even there anymore. Only a cloud in her shape was left behind, with its owner chasing after Spirit with enough speed to make Rainbow Dash proud. The door flew off straight into space, ready to become a star along with all the other doors blown off their hinges.

“SPIRIT!!” Scarlett shouted, barely making out the red stallion’s horrendous dirt brown scarf and neon blue boots.

The stallion did not pay her any heed. He only kept running, forwards and forwards in spite of the many ponies lining his path. Alas, that also meant that he paid no heed to the path he was taking. Scarlett’s eyes widened as soon as she saw that Spirit was running straight towards the peculiarly placed cliff smack dab in the middle of town. Scarlett had always wondered why there was a cliff there. Surely they could have closed the area off. Unless it was all a conspiracy made by the hospital staff to rake in more patients, of course.

“Spirit!” she screamed

Her heart summersaulted as soon as said stallion jumped the cliff, earning a round of gasps from the nearby ponies. Spirit, however, did a spectacular double belly flip, and landed on the tip of his right forehoof, catching a falling door with his back hooves. He then dropped to his hooves again and continued running.

Scarlett’s face fell, trying to find a way to chase after him. Screaming in frustration, she grabbed a passing mountain climber’s hook and chain, and started scaling the cliff.

“I’ll give it back when I catch that idiot, promise!” she shouted, swinging down the snowy cliff with the grace of a mountain goat.

Landing with a soft thud, the seamstress ran the direction she saw Spirit take, following the crowd of awestruck ponies. She then noticed a group of ponies staring at a wall right next to the town hall. Slowing down just enough to sneak a glance at what they were looking at, her face flushed red in embarrassment.

On the wall was a rather risqué drawing of the Power Ponies fighting against the Mane-iac.

“W-Wha-Whadda-WHAT?!” Scarlett spluttered, falling on her back

Covering her eyes from the lewd scene, she continued to follow the path of surprised ponies. Did Spirit draw that? She wouldn’t doubt it. After all, he did work in a comic book store. Honestly, she was just glad it wasn’t a drawing of an actual real life pony! Who knows just how embarrassing that would have been! And if it had been a drawing of her? She would have climbed back up the cliff and jumped off!

The next attraction she passed by was a trio of mares all lying unconscious on the ground next to a flower stand. she passed by them without a word. Scarlett soon noticed that she was being followed. Flying high above in the sky, a cyan Pegasus with a rainbow coloured mane swooped downwards and kept a steady pace with her steps.

“Have you seen an idiot running around here?” she asked hastily “Wears an ugly green cap, horrible fashion sense?”

“Whoa, you know that guy?” Rainbow Dash whistled in awe “Man, that guy was fast! I had trouble keeping up with him myself! Saw him crash right through Berry’s front door and bust out the back juggling barrels of cider and a shoe!”

“Not answering my question!”

“Oh, right. Sorry,” Rainbow Dash waved a hoof and pointed to her left “He went thataway. Good luck!”

The Pegasus tilted upwards, zooming back up into the sky at breakneck speed.

Continuing her chase, it wasn’t long before she realised that she knew exactly where she was heading. The same café that she would normally stop by if her cravings did not get in her way, the small lake frozen by the winter season, even the bench with a pony shaped mark made by some poor fool who couldn’t read signs. This was the direction to her own clothes store.

“I swear, if he went to trash my place, I will personally-”

Her train of thought stopped when she noticed that the line shocked ponies suddenly stopped, not even close to her store. In fact, there seemed to be a clear line between the shocked ponies and the normal ponies, and it was right at-

“A comic book store?”

She did not remember there ever being a comic book store near her place. But then again, she never even knew about Spirit living close by either despite him claiming that he greeted her nearly every morning. Maybe his non-existence had also spread over to his shop. Wow, that could not be good for business.

Never having gone into a comic book store, Scarlett swallowed back her pride and pushed the entrance open, calling out Spirit’s name as softly as her megaphone-esque voice would allow. It was a neat little place, with racks upon racks of comics as far as her eyes could see. Scarlett glanced at the covers of several issues, and her face immediately glowed red.

Such tight fitting clothes! Such indecency! Males, females, and creatures of all species, all of them wearing suits that showed off their tough, muscular and voluptuous bodies. Her head started getting fuzzy from looking at all the characters, but she persevered. They’re not real, she reminded herself. No one in their right mind would ever wear anything that embarrassing, she thought.

Shaking her head forcefully, Scarlett continued to pass through the rows of comics lined upon the shelves. She passed by a small purple dragon, Twilight Sparkle’s assistant Spike if she recalled, and waved at him. Spike’s eyes widened in surprise, picked up a comic book from the shelf, and started rifling through the pages. He stopped at a page near the middle and started trading glances between her and the page.

“It’s you!” he exclaimed, running over to a confused Scarlett

“Umm… yes I am?” Scarlett blinked

“I knew it!” Spike pumped his fist “Man, to think that I got to meet the one and only Ichaival! Button Mash is gonna be so jealous!”

“Hold on, hold on, what?” she grabbed the comic book out of Spike’s claws and rifled through the pages, trying to understand just what he was talking about

When she reached the twelfth page, however, her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. There, standing in all her glory, was a mare that looked just like her. The same coat colour, the same mane design, even the same pink scrunchies she wore every day. Crimson Fatale, a mare who had the voice of an angel and activated her abilities through singing, rocketed through the city of Harmonia as she battled villains with her two companions as Ichaival, the archer.

If that wasn’t embarrassing enough, the armour she wore sure was. Or if that could even be counted as armour. It was mostly a skin tight white and black suit, covering most of her the body decently but showing off the beautiful body the artist had given her. Whatever blood red armour pieces she had were mostly covering her head, back and hooves, where her infinite amount of ammo and weapons she had would emerge and break off at will.

She had to give the artist credit where credit was due, though. She did like how her character was portrayed. It felt cool.

“Wait, no, that isn’t the problem!” Scarlett shouted, throwing the book back at Spike “Who the hell drew this thing?!”

“Oh, it’s fairly new, actually. Came out a few days ago, maybe?” Spike pondered, not realising that his life depended on how he answered the question

“Who. Is. It?!”

“Some guy named… Pyro Booster? No, wait, that’s his pseudonym. It’s really the guy that owns this store! Surprising, I know. For the longest time, I thought this was a ghost store, too!”

Silence fell between them, with Spike smiling gleefully and Scarlett’s eye twitching madly. She slammed a hoof right in front of Spike, breaking the floorboards and leaving a perfect hole the shape of her boot, and started fuming. Finally realising that he did not want to die right there and then, the baby dragon creeped back into an aisle, hoping that the mare would forget about him.

“SPIRIT!!”

Author's Note

Hey, guys! Just here to say that if you guys downvote the story, could you please leave a comment saying why you did? I'd like to know where my weaknesses are and learn to write better stories.