“Hey! Hey Twilight!”
“Yes, Rainbow?” Princess Twilight Sparkle, Ponyville's chief Libarian (both titles were equally important in her book) looked up from her reading at the blue pegasus overhead.
“Remember that time we met A.K. Yearling?” Rainbow Dash flew tight circles amongst the upper shelves of the library. She kept in constant motion, like a shark that would die if it stopped swimming.
“Yes, Rainbow.” Twilight closed her book, resigning herself to the fact that she wouldn't get any proper work done as long as Rainbow Dash was around and set to 'enthusiastic.'
“And remember how it turned out she was really secretly Daring Do the whole time?”
“Yes, Rainbow.”
“And remember how we helped Daring Do save the day?”
“Yes, Rainbow. I was there.”
“And remember how she wrote us into the book? And then she sent us an advanced copy so we could see we were in the book and that was pretty much the best thing that ever happened in the history of ever?”
“Yes, I remember. The novel's official release was a few weeks ago.”
“And it was awesome!”
Twilight allowed herself a smile at her friend's enthusiasm. “It was, wasn't it? Though getting the book early kind of took some of the fun out of it- I mean, there's something to be said for standing in line for a midnight release, you know? There's a sense of camaraderie in staying up late with your fellow fans- not to mention the sweet, sweet anticipation, and then that moment when you finally get your hooves on the book, after waiting for hours and hours in line.” Twilight gave a wistful sigh. “You know, scientific studies have shown that delayed gratification can make an experience seem sweeter. I can find you the specific journals, if you like.”
“Psh,” said Rainbow Dash, “waiting is lame! Every second you sit around in some stupid line, waiting for stuff to happen is time you could spend, doing...uh, other stuff. Radder stuff. Like flying.” The pegasus flapped her wings and settled into a comfy hover over Twilight's shoulder. “Hey, that's a good idea! Why don't we go flying? Because you have wings now and that's a thing you can do.”
“Maybe later?” Twilight offered, smiling ruely.
“Fiiiiine. You're almost as bad as Fluttershy.”
“Not everyone was born with wings like you, Rainbow.”
“I know! And that's why you're so lucky to get wings. Oh hey, do you think the rest of our friends could do the same thing? Not that fancy-pancy butterfly-wing spell you did on Rarity, but, like, real wings? With feathers? For everyone? How many letters to Princess Celestia do they have to write before they can be as cool as we are? We could start our own stormball team! It would be the best thing ever!”
“That...would be a lot of magic,” Twilight said, “More magic than even I can provide. And on top of that, could you even imagine Pinkie Pie with wings?”
Rainbow Dash's eyes went wide at the thought. “Okay, yeah, you've got a point there. That's...kind of terrifying.” She shuddered.
“I know, right? I don't even know how she does half the things she does as is.”
“Okay, so magic-ing everyone into Princesses so we can start our own stormball team is off the table. But there's got to be something we can do. I'm so boooooooored. Bored bored bored bored.”
“You don't say.” Twilight deadpanned.
“And I can't even read any more Daring Do novels because I've read them all already! Twice!”
“Well,” Twilight said, “There's plenty of other stuff to read.” She waved a hoof at the rows and rows of shelves lining the walls of her library home. “I'd be more than happy to make some suggestions. Since you like the Daring Do series so much, I think you'd appreciate some other stories in the same genre. A.K. Yearling got her start in the pulp fiction magazines- that'd be a good place to start. There's Robert E. Hoofward, or maybe H.P. Clopcraft, but he's kind of an acquired taste...”
“Why do they all have weird initials in their names?”
“I...don't really know. Maybe they're just trying to preserve their anonymity?”
“Whatever.” Rainbow Dash flew a restless circle through the air. “I'm sure all of those guys are good writers, but... it's just...not the same, you know? I want to read another Daring Do story, and there just aren't any more Daring Do stories.”
“Well...” Twilight bit at her lower lip. “There...might be.”
“Wait, what?” Rainbow Dash swooped down in front of Twilight and shook her. Hard. “Where? Why didn't you tell me earlier? WHY ARE YOU HOLDING OUT ON ME!?”
“Ack!” Twilight's eyes rattled in her skull. “Calm down, Rainbow Dash! I'm not holding out on you. It's just that...well, the stories I'm talking about aren't exactly...official.”
“What's that even mean? Are you talking about stealing first drafts from A.K. Yearling or something? Because I could totally get on board with that. Seriously, I'd be an awesome book-stealer. We could wear cool black outfits and do ALL THE CRIME.”
“What? No! There's no crime involved! So long as you don't worry about copyright, at least...”
“What are you talking about?”
“Look, Rainbow...have you ever heard of...fanfiction?”
“Fan fiction? What's that? Books about air conditioners or something? That doesn't sound very...cool.”
“I can't believe you just made that joke.”
“I know, right? It just came to me!”
Twilight rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “Just wait here, let me show you something.” She trotted across the library and up the stairs
leading to her bedroom, where she began to rummage around beneath her bed.
“Whoa, Twilight, this isn't gonna get...weird, is it?”
“No!” Twilight huffed. “Honestly, Rainbow, what do you think I've got under here?”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Not really.” Twilight said, and pulled out a battered looking shoebox. She lifted the lid off, and presented it to Rainbow Dash.
“Wait, what're these?” Rainbow Dash said, and picked up the first flimsily-bound pamphlet in the box.
“They're called 'zines,'” said Twilight. “They're fan-printed compilations of original Daring Do fiction. They're just not...official.”
“What's that mean?”
“They're not written by A.K. Yearling. They're just written by ponies who really like A.K. Yearling. Ponies just like me, for example.”
“Wait.” Rainbow Dash affixed Twilight with a wary glare. “Are you saying that you wrote a Daring Do story?”
“I've dabbled.” Twilight scratched at the back of her neck, embarrassed. “Maybe even more than dabbled. Really, Fanfiction is really just another way to express one's interest in a particular piece of entertainment. Reading it lets you get more of what you like, and writing it gives a sense of...I dunno, ownership?”
“Cool! What's your story about?”
“Stories, actually. Plural. Mostly short form- I like to explore the little, quieter moments here and there- the kind of stuff inbetween books, or even inbetween chapters. Stuff that might not fit in a faster paced novel...it's just kind of fun to explore the setting a little deeper. For example, one of my favorite stories is about Daring Do trying to write a grant proposal for her university...”
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at Twilight.
“It's funnier in context, really.” Twilight said.
“I'll have to read it.”
“You should! I used to write a lot of Daring Do fanfic. It's just that I've been pretty busy lately, so I haven't been able to write as much as I'd like. I've got a story or two I should finish, but every time I try to sit down and write, some new crisis comes up.”
“Waitwaitwaitwait.” Rainbow Dash said, affixing the battered stack of 'zines with a reverential look. “You're telling me just anypony can write these?"
“Well, anypony with enough discipline to sit down in front of a typewriter.”
“So you're saying...I could write a Daring Do story?” Rainbow Dash spoke slowly as the mindblowing concept dawned on her.
“If you wanted to, sure!”
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” Rainbow Dash squealed, and spiraled up towards the ceiling. “This is so cool! This is amazing! Why didn't you tell me about this before? Now I'll never be bored, because now I'm gonna write the best Daring Do story EVER!”
Twilight smiled, feeling her heart warm at such a display of naked enthusiasm. “I'm sorry, Rainbow- if I'd known you'd get this excited, I would've mentioned it earlier.”
“Okayokayokay!” Rainbow Dash dived down, and landed on Twilight's writing desk hard enough to rattle its drawers. “Twilight, can I borrow your typewriter? And those zine things? Pleeeeease? I'll bring them back tomorrow. I promise.”
“You can borrow them for as long as you like, Rainbow Dash- heck, if you decide to make a hobby out of it, I'll get you a typewriter of your very own.”
“Don't worry, Twilight- you know how I'm the fastest and most awesomest at everything. I've got a ton of ideas already! It's going to be the best thing you've ever read, and I'll bring it back first thing tomorrow morning!”
“That's pretty ambitious of you, Rainbow Dash. Anything I can do to help? I've got a few books on the writing process around here somewhere...”
“Don't need 'em!” Rainbow Dash scooped up several 'zines in her front hooves. “All I have to do is talk about how awesome Daring Do is,” Rainbow Dash streaked across the library and hoisted Twilight's typewriter upon her shoulder, “then, I just push a bunch of buttons, and before you know it, I'll have the most amazing fanfiction story ever, and then I'll get a trophy!”
“They...don't give trophies for fanfiction, Rainbow.”
“Really? Lame. I guess that's for the best, though, because if they did give out trophies, I'd win all of them!”
“You haven't even written anything yet!”
“How hard could it be?”
Twilight raised a hoof. “Actually...”
“Sorry, too excited, not listening!” Rainbow Dash disappeared in a puff of prismatic light and fluttering pages. “See you tomorrow!”
The next day, Twilight Sparkle cycled through her normal morning routine. Shower. Coffee. Toast. Newspaper. It was the sort of pastoral breakfast that she'd read about over and over again in any number of country farces (and a surprising number of murder mysteries), the sort of thing she'd come to enjoy since settling in Ponyville.
The pegasus at her doorstep threw her routine off, however.
“I did it!” Rainbow Dash kicked in the front door, and staggered in with a zombie-esque shamble. Despite her swaying gait, Rainbow Dash managed to clutch an overstuffed binder to her chest. The pegasus' eyes shone with mad inspiration, contrasting the dark circles hanging beneath. “They said it couldn't be done, but I showed them, I showed them all!”
“Showed who?”
“Them! The all thems! Those guys are jerks!”
Twilight shifted her weight from hoof to hoof. “Are you okay?”
“No!” said Rainbow Dash, with no small degree of pride. “I mean, uh, yes! I just...uh, haven't slept, that's all. But I did it!”
“Did what?”
“I wrote it!” Rainbow Dash pressed the binder into Twilight's hooves. “I wrote the best fanfiction ever. Sure, I had to get a little jacked up on coffee, and I haven't slept in like twenty eight hours, but it was totally worth it! You've got to read it. Please! Tell me you'll read it! You've got
to read it! I worked so hard, and it's so good!”
“Okay, okay! I'll read it!” Twilight said. “You just have to promise me you'll get some sleep.”
“Done!” Rainbow Dash spouted a half-mad giggle. “'cause I was just about to ask if I could crash on your couch.” She beat her wings and drifted across the library, drawn to the cushions with all the inexorable certainty of celestial motion. The couch was her destiny. “Is that cool? That's cool. You can tell me how awesome my story is when I wake up!” Rainbow Dash literally crashed into Twilight's couch and set about snoring at the volume usually reserved for industrial logging equipment.
Tentatively, Twilight Sparkle laid the binder on her desk, and pried it open. Over the course of her studies, she'd transcribed eldritch texts of unspeakble horror before; somehow, she felt she should approach Rainbow Dash's fanfiction with the same caution. She ran her eyes over the title page.
RAINBOW FLASH AND DARING DO SAVE THE DAY AND HAVE A POOL PARTY WITH A BUNCH OF HOT DUDES
CHAPTER ONE
“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle's breath caught in her throat. “This is going to hurt.”
Some hours later, Twilight Sparkle still sat at her desk, staring at the manuscript in shock.
“Whaddya think?” Rainbow Dash said. Her hair was still tousled from her much-needed nap, but other than that she was back to her usual chipper self. Even moreso.
“Uh.” Twilight forced a smile, and scratched at the back of her neck. “It's very...um...it's not like anything I've ever read before?”
“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash said, and wrapped Twilight up in a bone-jarring hug. “I knew you'd love it! I know everypony will love it! Because it's so awesome. It's gonna be on the front cover of Daring Do Daily and then everyone's going to love it and then I'm going to get a trophy!”
“Er.” Twilight gently pried herself free of Rainbow Dash. “I'm not sure if that's the next step. I mean, uh...I think you might be able to make a few improvements, actually, so it's even better.”
“But how can you improve on what's already perfect? This story has everything!”
“Think of it this way,” Twilight spoke as diplomatically as she could, “you're always trying to get a better time at the racetrack, right? Even if you've already beaten your personal record- you keep pushing yourself to do better. There's always room for improvement.”
“But that's different! That has trophies!”
“Let's...forget about trophies for a sec.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's just...well, you made some...odd choices with this story, let's say.”
“Like what?”
“Well, here-” Twilight turned the binder to the front page. “You stapled a picture of yourself to the front page. And, uh, not to be a prude or anything, but don't you think it's a little...suggestive?”
“Of course it is! When I read your 'zines, I noticed that all the popular stories that got blurbs in that featured box on the inside cover had sexy pictures! I just had that picture of myself stretched out on that rug laying around, and bam, done.”
“Why did you even have a picture like that in the first place?”
“There was this one time Fluttershy took a photography class...”
“Actually, you know what, I don't need to know.”
“I think she's still got the camera in a closet somewhere, if you wanna get your picture taken.”
“Rainbow!”
“Seriously Twilight, you should think about it. You're a lot hotter now that you've got wings.”
“Rainbow!” Twilight's cheeks flushed.
“I'm just saying.” Rainbow Dash shrugged.
“Look, let's...let's get back to your fanfiction.” Twilight forced herself to look back at the manuscript, where Rainbow Dash's languid pose just made her blush a little harder. Twilight turned the page. “While I admit, the photo is somewhat...attention grabbing. But it doesn't have anything to do with the rest of the story.”
“Sure it does! Because technically, that's not a picture of me, that's a picture of-”
The epiphany hit Twilight like a jai lai ball through plate glass. “-Rainbow Flash.”
“Yep!”
“Your OC.”
“My what?”
“Original Character. Someone who's not from the source material- which, in this case, are the Daring Do novels. Sometimes it's necessary to add them, but it's something you should really be careful with- especially with a self insert OC like this one.”
“Why? I'm awesome, therefore my character should be awesome. Duh.”
“Don't you think putting yourself into a story is just a teensy bit...egotistical?'
Before Rainbow Dash could reply, a light green earth pony with brown hair and glasses walked into the library. “Oh,” he said, smiling, “not interrupting anything, am I?”
“Nope! Not interrupting anything at all!” Twilight Sparkle said entirely too fast, and flared her wings out to hide Rainbow Dash's manuscript.
“Oh, okay, good.” The earth pony gave a dazzling smile, “I'm afraid I don't have time to chat- just wanted to drop off these books before I forgot. You'd come after me if I started racking up overdue fees.”
“Oh, I'd never do that.” Twilight Sparkle said, and fidgeted at the floor with her hoof.
“You sure? Because there are worse things to happen than having a cute princess chase after you.” The pony winked roguishly, and headed for the door. “See you next time, Twilight!” he said.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle watched him go.
“Man, that Tumbleweed guy is dreamy.” Rainbow Dash said.
“He sure is.” said Twilight.
They sighed in wistful unison.
Rainbow Dash was the first to shake herself out of her justifiably lovestruck fugue. “What were we talking about again?”
“Oh! Right.” Twilight said, “As I was saying, just adding a self-insert OC is going to turn off a lot of readers.”
“But if I took myself- I mean, uh, if I took Rainbow Flash out of the story, who's going to be the main character?”
“Well, you could always focus more on Daring Do.”
“But then how will everyone know how cool I am?”
“Well, maybe they'll think you're cool since you wrote a story they enjoyed?”
“Hmmmm.” Rainbow Dash rubbed her chin. “Maybe you're onto something...but, wait! If I take Rainbow Dash- I mean, er, Rainbow Flash out of the story, who's gonna make out with Stormbolt?”
“Stormbolt? Did you make up another OC?”
“Not this time! I just gave that one pegasus dude from book three a name. You know, the cute guy who tried to ask Daring Do out for coffee in chapter six, but he never got the chance because then a bunch of ninjas attacked?”
“Oh!” Twilight said, “You're talking about Chocobean.”
“What?”
“That's his name.”
“No it's not.” Rainbow Dash said. “The book only referred to him as 'that guy.'”
“Right, the books did, but someone decided to call him Chocobean in a fanfic, and the name just kind of stuck. He's a little jittery and drinks too much coffee but he's really a sweet guy at heart. Also he's in love with Willow Whisper.” Twilight smiled fondly at the thought of the cute couple.
“Who?”
“She's the botanist Daring Do talks to in book seven when she's trying to figure out what kind of poison the villain's using.”
“She has a name too?”
“Oh, absolutely. There's a whole bunch of generally accepted characters that a lot of writers draw from in order to flesh out their stories.”
“So wait. Putting myself into a story is weird, but slapping new names on background ponies is okay?”
“Well, yes!” Twilight said. “Besides, the two of them are a perfect match! Chocobean is nervous and jittery, while Willow Whisper is more laid back and carefree. It's so sweet!”
“But they're not even in the same book!”
“They could be! Theoretically. There are rumors that A.K. Yearling is going to bring them back for book ten, just as a little in-joke to the fans.”
“That's dumb.” Rainbow Dash huffed, and fluttered up towards the window in a huff. She leaned against the windowsill, looking out on the summer afternoon. “I thought this whole fanfic thing was so I could make up my own story, and now I have to worry about a bunch of characters and stuff that someone else made up?”
Her huffy pout was cut a little short as she waved to a few ponies passing by. “Oh, hey Octavia, hey Vinyl Scratch.” said Rainbow Dash. The two musicians waved back cheerily, and continued on their merry way.
“It's not dumb.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's actually a rather interesting example of the collaborative nature of fandom. It's honestly fascinating from a sociological perspective, much less from someone who's read the books...”
“I thought the whole point of fanfic was so you could write your own story?”
“It is! It's just that the best fanfic should be able to fit seamlessly into the canon, mostly indistinguishable from the source material. Certain...minor deviations are acceptable, of course, if you want to include aspects that might not be in the original work.” Twilight Sparkle trotted over to her liquor cabinet and started to mix herself a cocktail. She had the feeling she was going to need it.
“But what about the sequel?”
Twilight's telekinesis faltered, and the ice in her mint julep clanked against the glass with a too-loud clink. “Sequel?” Twilight said, and downed her cocktail in a single gulp. She started to pour another, by reflex.
“Of course! You didn't think I'd only write one story, did you?”
“I'd....kind of hoped.”
“I haven't started on it yet, but it's gonna be super awesome! I'm gonna have Rainbow Flash and Daring Do team up with Batmare and then they were gonna fight vampire robots. In space!
“A crossover? Oh boy, are you sure that's a good idea?” Twilight Sparkle sat down on her couch, which wobbled beneath her. “I swear, this thing hasn't been the same since Grimlock showed up.” She murmured.
“Oh! Also they'd be in high school so everyone has to find a date for prom by the end. Spoiler alert, I hook up with Stormbolt.” Rainbow Dash flew an excited little circle in the air as she rattled off her plot points.
“Chocobean.” Twilight said, by reflex.
“Whatever. There's gonna be a make out scene and then Rainbow Flash will touch his butt and it'll be super hot.” Rainbow Dash blushed at the thought.
Twilight Sparkle cringed. “Okay, Rainbow...I mean this in the best possible way...but I think you might want to consider...not writing that story.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Why not?”
“Because...” Twilight sighed, and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. “It sounds like a very...difficult concept..”
“Difficult, schmifficult! My first story was so awesome, so my next will be even better!”
“About that...”
“Huh?”
“I'm glad you're writing. I really am. It's just...don't you think you might need a little more practice?”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “What're you trying to say, Twilight?”
“I'm sorry, it's just...I don't think this story works.” Twilight said, softly as she could.
“What do you mean it doesn't work? There's paper, and there's words on them, and you read them. DUH. I thought you were the egghead here?”
“That's not what I meant!” Twilight Sparkle stomped her hoof in frustration. “Rainbow, you're my friend...but your fanfic is terrible! The plot doesn't make any sense, the dialogue is flat, the formatting and punctuation is atrocious, you didn't capitalize anything, and the worst part is, there's no emotional conflict!” The critiques rolled out of Twilight's lips, one after another.
“But...” Rainbow Dash's lower lip quivered, “but I worked so hard.”
“I know.” Twilight said. “But you're still pretty new to this. Your enthusiasm is there, but...”
“You don't like my story.”
“I like that you wrote a story-”
“But you don't like it!”
Twilight Sparkle winced. “Well, no...”
“I should have known! You hate it! You hate me!” Rainbow Dash started to bawl- which, given the fact she was still flying through the air,
made it seem like a spring shower had suddenly moved into Twilight's library.
“That's not true!” Twilight Sparkle teleported in front of Rainbow Dash, and then caught herself with a few beats of her wings before she could plummet to the floor.
“You're just jealous, that's all! You're jealous I wrote the most amazing story ever, and you didn't! Not like I saw any of your stories in that featured box!”
“Hey!” Twilight Sparkle gasped. “That doesn't have anything to do with anything!”
“Of course it does! I just want to give the people what they want! I read all of those 'zines you gave me, and every one had a story with a sexy cover where Daring Do got to make out with somepony and touch butts and be rad and stuff!”
“I don't care about the butt touching, I care about the format! You could write a story about Daring Do grinding someone up into cupcakes, so long as you use the right punctuation!”
Rainbow Dash looked justifiably horrified. “Daring Do would never do that!”
“Sure she would! She's an Archeologist! Daring Do knows the value of proper formatting!”
“I meant the eating ponies thing.”
“Oh,” Twilight Sparkle said, “yeah, you're right. A story like that would be awful. But some ponies like to write stuff like that, just to get a rise out of people.”
“Weirdos.” Rainbow Dash said, and dabbed tears from the corners of her eyes. “Maybe...maybe I shouldn't write any more fanfic at all. Not worth it.”
Twilight Sparkle sighed, and glided down to the floor again. “It's only worth as much as you take from it, Rainbow Dash. Nobody's getting paid for fanfiction. It's just a way to share some fun ideas, that's all.” She trotted up the stairs towards her bedroom. “C'mon, I want to show you something.”
“What now?” Rainbow Dash followed, still sniffling.
Twilight rummaged around beneath her bed, and finally pulled out a battered, dusty folder, which she presented to the pegasus. “Here,” she said, “I want you to see this. It's something that I haven't shown anypony before. Ever. Not even Spike.”
“Really?” Rainbow Dash said, suspicious, “is this, like, secret magic princess stuff?”
“Even more secret than that. Go on. Read it.”
Rainbow Dash opened it up, and read the title.
DARING DO AND THE EMERALD EYE OF ARGON:
VOLUME ONE OF THE SUNDOWN HAZE CHRONICLES
Rainbow Dash leafed through the dusty, brittle pages, running her eyes over the scribbled notes within. “You...you wrote this?”
“I did.” Twilight Sparkle said. “It's the first Daring Do fanfic I ever wrote.”
“Wow.” Rainbow Dash turned the page. “This is, uh...kind of...bad. I don't even know what half these words mean. Did you eat a thesaurus or something?”
“I temporarily absorbed one into my brain, but...close enough.” Twilight Sparkle chortled delicately. “It's okay, Rainbow Dash. I know it's awful. I think I knew it back then, too. It's why I haven't shown anypony until now.”
“Why me?”
“Because I wanted you to understand- when you start writing...well, everyone starts from the same place. And that place is pretty awful. Writing's a skill like any other, and one that you can grow and develop through lots of hard work and practice. It's not that different from competitive flying, really.”
“Except you get trophies for that.”
“Yes, that's true.” Twilight said. “But fanfiction isn't a competition...it's a collaboration. You put your work out there, see what other ponies think...and if you're lucky, they'll love it almost as much as they love the source material. But it takes time- you can't just expect to make something worth publishing the first time you sit in front of a typewriter. I'm not trying to discourage you, Rainbow...it's just that I'm trying to keep things realistic, that's all. I can help you with your stories, if you like.”
“Really?”
“Of course! That's what friends are for! Besides, beneath all the spelling errors and run on sentences and your self-insert OC, you've actually got some really good ideas. With a little work...well, a lot of work, I think you could write something really great. I'd love to be your editor! It'd be like having a coach, only for writing!”
“A coach?” Rainbow Dash perked up. “I didn't know you could be a coach without a whistle.”
“Like I told you, writing's different. But for now, I think you just need to take a break, relax, and take your time in writing your next story. It's not a race, there's no deadline.”
“Can I leave in the part where Daring Do makes out with a hot dude?”
“If you really think it's important to the story...” Twilight Sparkle pulled another folder out from beneath her bed. “Let me tell you about something called 'slash.'”
“That sounds cool! Does it have swords?”
“Kinda? Right now, I think we'd better just take one thing at a time...”
