Twilight's Room Is Flooded With Seamen

by Mr Blue Sky

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Human, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Fluttershy
Length: 5570

Waking up, Twilight is shocked to find her once marvelous bedroom is covered in hardy seamen. They're sticky, have a pungent smell, and sing songs about the fine seaman life. But what are they doing in her room? And how did they get a boat in there?

Waking up, Twilight is shocked to find her once marvelous bedroom is covered in hardy seamen.

They're sticky, have a pungent smell, and sing songs about the fine seaman life. But what are they doing in her room?

And how the hell did they get a boat in there?

Co-Author: Try Hard

Published 2015-07-07 01:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-07 01:10:02 UTC

*Unce* *Unce* *Unce* *Unce*

*Unce* *Unce* *Unce* *Unce*

A yawn pierced the air as Twilight stumbled into her bedroom. She glanced once at her bed before she shuffled over to it and collapsed on top. She twisted her body until her hind legs were underneath the covers. A nearby pillow was captured as Twilight brought it close to her and snuggled into it. She sighed in a mixture of exhaustion and relief as her tired body melted into the soft, silk sheets for the night.

*Unce* *Unce* *Unce* *Unce*

A deep beat reverberated through Twilight’s body which woke her up. Her ears folded back against her head as she squinted her eyes. The pungent smell of fish and sweat wafted into her nostrils as bright flashes of color attacked her vision.

Her pupils contracted as her senses adjusted to the sudden invasion from all fronts. Twilight groggily lifted her head up off her bed and untangled herself from her sheets. After she successfully got out, she turned her head towards a blur of moving shapes.

Her eyes blinked multiple times before they made out a few dozen sailors who were dancing in her room. Lights located around her room rapidly switched between the colors of the rainbow as loud blaring music filled the air from a mobile speaker system set up in a corner.

The sailors themselves consisted of a large variety of both shirtless men and other men clad in tight wife-beaters. Each sailor wore white shorts and had rippling abs and pecs, the shirtless men’s being glossy as if covered in oil. She watched them with curiosity as their bodies effortlessly danced to the beat. Never before had she imagined creatures could shake their hips like the men did.

Just as quickly as she’d been entranced, Twilight snapped out of their spell. She shook her head in displeasure before she leapt off her bed. Her body sailed through the air which caused several sailors to frantically move out of the way. Her hooves hit the ground, but she skidded until she came to a halt in the middle of a group of the burly men.

Her back arches as she confronted one that stood directly in front of her. He held a martini glass filled with what appeared to be a tropical mix of fruit. She gave him an angry stare as she questioned him, “Who are you and what are you doing in my house!”

He simply stared at her in response, seemingly sizing her up as the music died down and more sailors moved in a circle around her. All attention on Twilight, she felt their eyes on her pelt as she shrunk down and realized her mistake. She brought herself closer to the ground as she turned in circles and snapped at the men.

“Get out! Get out of my house!”

A tinge of fear invaded her mind as she noticed that the sailors were looking at her than at each other. Lashing out like a cornered animal, she shrieked, “Out! Now!”

The one she had originally attempted to confront spoke up with a highly feminine sounding voice,“Honey, there’s no need to be so rude about it.”

She swiveled her body to face him again. “Well, you’re in my house!”

He placed a hand on his hip and handed the sailor next to his martini before he snapped his fingers. “Well, you’re intruding on our party!”

Her ears folded back against her head as a small divide in the sailors formed. A new sailor approached her. The scent of coconut hit her nostrils and her eyes grew wide as she noticed just how massive his pecs were. His almond-colored chest shined from a recently applied coat of oil.

He wore white short-shorts which were ripped at the bottom as if they had once been dress pants which he simply tore apart with his bare hands alone. A small white sailors hat sat on top of his bald head. She had little time to make sense of just how someone could be so massive before he picked her up with a single arm and threw her over his shoulder.

Her body sat limply as her brain worked in overdrive to try and mentally catch up; however before it could, the bouncer passed through her house and out the door. He tossed her onto the ground before he took a stance in front of the front door. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were covered by a pair of black shades.

Twilight sat still on the ground, her muzzle buried partially in the grass as her brain rebooted. She looked up and noticed a large boat in the side of her house. She was surprised she didn’t feel anything as the boat had smashed through an entire side of the upper portion of her house. As soon as her thoughts caught up, she leaped back to her hooves and snarled at the bouncer.

“Let me back in! Now!”

The bouncer stood his ground. He didn’t move an inch as she spat at him with words laced with venom. Frustrated at his lack of response, she decided to threaten him.

“You have five seconds before I blast you out of the way!”

The bouncer responded with words of his own that time, but not with words she wanted to hear, “No can do, missy.”

Twilight switched to one of her practiced battle stances and aimed her horn towards him. She yelled at him one more time, “Fine! But let nobody say you didn’t ask for it!”

A torrent of violet energy shot out of her horn and straight towards the man. Her smug grin diminished as she watched as the magical energies slammed against his chest; however, instead of hurting him, they were instead deflected by his massive, gleaming pecs. While their original target seemed unaffected by the contact, the deflected energies hit a nearby house.

Twilight watched in horror as the side of the house blew up a medium-sized hole. Expecting the worst, she sighed in relief as she saw that only Lyra’s house had been caught in the blast. Though, shortly after the explosion, the mint green pony herself ran out of the hole in her house and screamed as a small fire burned at the end of her tail.

Twilight winced as she knew that she’d be on the receiving end of some very harsh words. She shook her head and remembered her original purpose. As she turned back to face the bouncer, Twilight scanned his body for any signs of faltering only to notice that, despite the blast, nothing had changed.

Now that she knew that destructive spells could not be used against the massive beefcake of a man, she gritted her teeth as she charged up her horn for a teleportation spell. The pressure in her horn grew until her vision was consumed by a bright flash of violet.

Her dilated pupils refocused once more as she found herself back inside her house; however, she was irritated to find that she was being carried by two of the gorgeous sailors as the pumped their arms into the air. Their silky smooth hands grappled her body as she struggled to free herself.

“This music is so great, I just want to keep my hands up!” one of the sailors said to his comrade.

“I know what you mean! I just love the thumps!”

“Though, the ceiling feels like it’s a bit lower than I thought,” he said with a scowl. “They should really get a renovator in here.”

“Yeah it did seem a bit plain, didn’t it?” The other sailor looked to the ceiling with a skeptical look. His eyes widened as his eyes met with Twilight’s, who could only sit in their grasps helplessly.

“Ewww!” the sailor cried out. “Butch, look! It’s that awful purple horse again!”

Butch followed his friend’s gaze before he whispered, “Eww” to himself under his breath. “What should we do with her?” he asked whilst he kept eye contact with Twilight.

“First of all, we should get her out of here.”

Butch nodded. “Right!”

“Then we should talk about your training regimen because honestly your muscles are amazing!”

A huge smile formed on Butch’s face as he admired his own huge biceps.“Oh my God! I thought you would never notice! You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to keep these nice and toned.”

His friend released one of his arms from holding up Twilight and placed it on his hip. “Well, whatever you’re doing, it’s definitely working.”

“Really?”

“Really!”

Butch blushed furiously as he lifted Twilight higher into the air. His muscles rippled as they adjusted to her weight. He looked back up as he felt Twilight’s soft fur once again. “Oops! Almost forgot about you!”

Despite her best efforts, the two of them carried her back to the front of her house before they too tossed her out the door just as the bouncer had done previously. The bouncer in question simply frowned at her and shook his head with displeasure as he chastised her, “Honey, just what did you think that would accomplish?”

Twilight answered by staring at the ground in shame of herself until a new source of hope came to mind.

“Fluttershy!” She managed to squeak out before her teleported away once again. This time to Fluttershy’s cottage as she needed the shy mare’s help to try and reason with the sailors.

Fluttershy tended her garden silently until a pop resounded from just in front of the door of her small cottage. She looked up to see Twilight banging on her door. Fluttershy was confused as to why, but she had no qualms about finding out as she always helps a friend in need.

She lifted herself from off her haunches and walked up to Twilight from behind. Twilight was occupied with yelling and banging on the door and did not notice her friend’s approach until she had tapped twilight on her wither.

Twilight screamed as she turned around. It died down as soon as she realized that it was Fluttershy behind her, not another one of the burly sailors. Fluttershy patted her on the back as she let Twilight calm down and take deep breaths.

She rubbed her friend’s fur softly as she soothingly asked, “What’s wrong, Twilight? Did you forgot to send your friendship report again?”

Twilight gasped for air before she replied, “H-House… big bur-... burly sailors!”

Fluttershy looked at Twilight with confusion. “Your house? Sailors?”

Twilight sat on her haunches and rubbed the sides of her head with her hooves until her breathing slowed down to a steady pace and she was able to properly speak.

“Yes, sailors. I woke up in my bed only to find dozens of sailors in my room partying!” Twilight practically screamed the last few words as a few strands of hair sprung out from her usually straight mane.

Fluttershy sat beside Twilight and tilted her head a few degrees to the side. “Sailors? You mean sailors like those found in the ‘Great Sailor Infestation of Baltimare?’”

Twilight’s ears perked up as she turned to her friend with surprise on her face. “Sailor infestation? This has happened before?”

Fluttershy’s tail flicked nervously as Twilight leaned towards her. “Um- yes. A ship of sailors arrived in the Baltimare ports and partied in the downtown area for about a week before they just one day up and left.”

Twilight was practically on top of Fluttershy as she pleaded with a voice filled with desperation, “A week!? How did they get them to leave?”

Fluttershy scooted away to avoid Twilight from towering over her as she answered, “Well- um, they didn’t actually get the sailors to leave. They just… did.”

Twilight was relentless as she followed suit and continued to get closer. “Are you sure? I- I- I don’t think I can last a week!”

Fluttershy stopped moving away and relented to merely nervously scratching the back of her head with a hoof. “Well- prominent scientists attributed it to the alcohol shortage which lasted for weeks after they left. The Funny thing is, even though they drank and partied for an entire week, they left Baltimare cleaner than it was when they arrived.”

Fluttershy shrugged as she continued, “Miraculous really, the downtown area was spotless and real estate prices nearby skyrocketed.”

Twilight stopped moving closer to contemplate what Fluttershy had said before she realized it didn’t help her cause. “Well- I don’t have a week to wait for these sailors to leave. Can you help me get rid of them, Fluttershy?”

With no hesitation, Fluttershy nodded enthusiastically. “Sure! I’m always ready to help out a friend.”

A grin split Twilight’s face as she jumped back on her feet and started to run back to her house. “Great! Now let’s go!”

Fluttershy panted heavily as she tried to keep close behind Twilight who was sprinting towards her house. Her lungs burned as she wondered how Twilight managed to conjure up so much energy for the long run back.

“A race?” a familiar voice called from above, “Why wasn’t I invited!” Twilight felt a tap on her shoulder and followed it only to find Rainbow Dash flying pace right beside her.

“Honestly, Twilight. If you’re going to race somepony, at least race one who you know is going to be a challenge. Fluttershy didn’t even enter The Running of The Leaves last year!”

“Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said in between large gulps of air, “I have a seaman infestation! They’re everywhere! Every inch of my house is covered in seamen!”

Rainbow Dash raised a brow. “W-what? Twilight… I didn’t take you for that kind of pon-”

Twilight leaped over a bush before she glanced at her friend. A blush crossed her face as she corrected her Dash’s thoughts. “No, no! Not semen, seamen! There’s a boat lodged in my treehouse!”

“Oh- that kind of seamen! I thought you meant- Never mind.”

Twilight skidded to a stop in front of her house with Rainbow Dash following suit.

“Anyways, they kicked me out of my house! I brought Fluttershy to reason with them, as they won’t listen to a word I say.” Twilight scanned the area around herself before she asked, “Where’s Fluttershy?”

“I-I’m here…” Fluttershy slowly walked over to her friends whilst she wiped the sweat off the damp fur on her face. “I-I,” she started as she gulped down some saliva to soothe her burning throat, “I need a minute…” Fluttershy let out a sigh a relief as she let herself drop onto the soft grass below.

“We don’t have a minute!” Twilight blurted out as she pointed at her front door, “They could be destroying everything in there! Just imagine it! All my books, gone!”

“I’m sure we can work this out with them, Twilight. I’ve read that the seamen are very tame creatures.”

“Is that one of them?” Rainbow Dash asked as she point at the bouncer who was still guarding the entrance. He stood there, silently looking over them whilst he kept his huge arms crossed.

“Yeah,” Twilight responded with a glare, “That’s the one who won’t let me back in!”

“Let me talk to him,” Fluttershy started as she began to lift herself off the ground, “It’s very important that we make a good first impressio-”

Rainbow Dash’s expression soured as she turned to face the bouncer. She flew to a spot just in front of him and spat, “What the hay, man! Why’d you guys kick Twilight out?”

The bouncer remained stoic whilst she continued to glare at him. She expected a response, anything really, but she gradually become more irritated at his lack of response.

She attempted to garner a reaction by expanding her feathers to her full wingspan. When that failed, she got closer to him and threateningly stared directly into his black shades. Despite only seeing her own reflection in the shades, she kept it up.

Just as she was about to burst with rage, the door to Twilight’s house opened. Rarity walked out of the house, being followed by a slender but fit sailor. His wife-beater was tied up in a knot just above his belly button. Collectively, confusion appeared on the faces of Twilight and her two companions as Rarity and the sailor stood behind the bouncer. Rarity’s appearance was as prim as it’s ever been and she carried a tropical martini. Inside the glass was several different fruits cut and mixed.

With worry painted on her face, Fluttershy glanced at the sailor beside Rarity before she approached the two.

“Rarity, are you okay? Did they do anything to you?”

Rarity gave her a look that screamed ‘Are you serious?’ before she broke out in a boisterous laugh. The bouncer’s lips cracked into a smile before both he and the sailor that walked out with Rarity joined in the laughter.

Rarity’s laughter lowered to a chuckle until it finally died off. She took a sip of her martini before she twisted her neck to face the sailor beside her.

“These are my friends; I assure you they’ll be a great addition to our party!”

She turned back to face the girls as the sailor spoke up, “Oh, so these are your friends?”

“Yeah, so are you all fine with them joining?”

Twilight’s eye twitched as the implication that she might still not be allowed into her own house. The bouncer stepped away from the door as he beckoned for the girls to enter. Fluttershy gave him a light smile before she stepped past where he had been and then stopped beside Rarity.

Rainbow Dash followed behind Twilight as she approached her friends; however, just before she could pass the bouncer, he put his arm down. Twilight could feel his gaze through his shades as he looked down at her.

“No entry for her: she almost ruined our fabulous party, as well as almost ruining Butch’s amazing nail job!”

“Oh, I’ve seen them!” Rarity added enthusiastically, “Where did he get them done? I would love to know if they do hooves as well!”

“I’m not sure, honey,” the bouncer said.

Rarity shifted her eyes towards the ground and let out a sigh. “Well, I guess it’ll always be shrouded in mystery…”

“Buuuuuut!” A huge smile spread across the bouncer’s face. “If you comment on his new muscles…”

Rarity did a little hop into the air and let out a squee of happiness. At the same time, a lock of hair shot out of place in Twilight’s mane and she blurted out, “What about me!”

Rarity gave her a sympathetic look and said, “Sorry, Darling, but this party is absolutely wonderful and it’d be a pity for it to be ruined.”

Rarity gave her a small smile before she turned around and entered Twilight’s house once again; however, the sailor she came out with stayed outside. He placed a hand on the five o’clock shadow on his chin as he stared at Rainbow Dash.

Fluttershy glanced towards the door before she leaned towards Twilight. “Don’t worry, Twilight. I’ll try to convince them to let you in.”

She gave Twilight a soft smile which Twilight reciprocated before she entered the house after Rarity; however, despite the pleasant exchange, Rainbow Dash frowned. She fluffed her wings in agitation.

Dash straightened her posture and puffed out her chest as she declared, “I’ll stick right here with you, Twilight. I’m not going to leave a friend behind!”

Twilight sat down on her haunches as the bouncer retook his place next to the door. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. I knew I could always count on you.”

Rainbow Dash placed a hoof on her chest as she boasted, “Of course! I’d never leave a friend. Never! That’s why I’m the element of loyalty!”

“Oh. My. God!”

The sailor who had been eyeing Rainbow Dash startled the two when he spoke as they had forgotten he was still present. Rainbow Dash sprung into an aggressive stance and her wings flared. Despite her evident aggression, the sailor skipped up to her and squealed in excitement.

“I absolutely love your hair!”

Her bent his knees so he was at face level with Rainbow Dash before her continued, “Who does it for you? I must know!”

Rainbow Dash’s aggression faded away and was replaced with her previous stance as she smirked. She held her chin up as she answered, “Well, I don’t want to brag-” she flicked her hair to the side, “- but I do it myself.”

The sailor’s face was one that could be described as an almost childish glee as he admired Rainbow Dash’s prismatic mane.

“Really?! Wow! I’ve tried getting my hair like that, but it keeps coming up all frizzled.”

Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side as she asked, “Have you tried using hair spray?”

The sailor dramatically flung his arms into the air. “Oh, I have! But it only makes it worse!”

Rainbow Dash tucked her idles wings in as she mentally pondered the man’s personal crisis. “Hm- well, how much do you use?”

In return, he gave a blank stare. “Wait- there’s a limit?”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but facehoof before she raised a brow at him. “Are you for real right now?”

The sailor sifted his hand through his luscious hair as he glanced away for a moment before he pleaded, “I know, I’m sooo bad! Do you mind showing me how much you put in?”

Rainbow Dash seemed ready to agree, but she stopped as she realized her lack of hair spray. “Sure, I wouldn’t mind, but I don’t have any hairspray on m-”

The sailor flicked his hand and giggled, “Oh, don’t worry. There’re lots in the party. While you’re at it, you just have to tell me how you get it to be as smooth as yours.”

Rainbow Dash’s body tensed as he placed his hand on her mane; however, she relaxed as the surprisingly comforting sailor ran his fingers through her mane. Twilight stared from the sidelines, unsure how to react as Rainbow Dash started purring audibly.

With glee on his face, the sailor cooed, “You guys are just so cute!”

Twilight’s jaw figuratively hit the ground as she watched Rainbow Dash lean into the sailor’s hand. With it, he guided her inside the house. Not for a moment had he stopped petting her mane.

For the second time that day, Twilight’s mind returned a blank. Her eyes shifted towards the upper half of her house. Flashes of color were visible through her windows as well as the boat which was still hanging out the side of the house. How such a large craft to hold the sailors had gotten there, she could not decipher, but as she tried, a brilliant plan formed in her mind.

More locks of her hair started to come out of place, giving her a disheveled appearance as she rubbed her hooves together. “Heh- they’ll never see it coming…”

Twilight landed with a small thud onto the fisherpony’s small boat. She grabbed him with her magic and tossed him over the side. The stallion landed in the water with a splash. He thrashed his hooves wildly as he pleaded with her, “Please! I can’t swim! I have a family to support at home!”

Twilight ignored his desperate cries as she yelled back at him, “Too bad! You have a life jacket for a reason!”

Her worn lit up with magical energies as she concentrated on surrounding both herself and her boat with her magic. Just a moment and one violet flash of light later, Twilight found herself sailing through the air atop her stolen watercraft. She stood on her hind legs and let out a battle cry as her target destination drew closer.

She laughed hysterically before she screamed, “Ram a boat into my house!? I’ll ram a boat into your party!”

Her maniacal glee strung her ragtag thoughts together as the boat’s front crashed into her bedroom window; however, it only made it halfway before it came to a dead stop. Twilight realized too late that the boat wouldn’t go any further as the part she was on started to creak under her weight.

Angry and without sense, Twilight started cursing and stomping on the boat. With her mind addled, fury overcame alarm as cracks formed in the boat’s hull. Before she could properly come to her senses, the back end snapped off, sending both it and her into freefall.

Her jaw smacked against a thick branch, sending her body into a backward spin. Rage distorted to pain as she accidentally bit her tongue during the collision. Her body flailed until the center of her back came smashing down onto another branch, causing a loud snap as it gave way to the force of her falling.

With a loud thud, she landed on the ground on her belly. She let out a small sniffle before tears formed in her eyes as both the pain of the fall and of the day’s events assaulted her. Just as her luck seemed down, she felt it break as she realized she landed near the bouncer.

The man in question peered down at her, the only evidence that he had even noticed was his craned neck as he looked from around the corner of her house. She buried her face in the soft grass as her chest contracted. Her breaths unwillingly heaved as she cried.

The bouncer lifted his shades to reveal beautiful baby blue eyes. A frown grew on his face as he noticed just how upset she seemed from her failure. Knowing he’d never forgive himself for letting such a cute creature cry, he walked over to her side. His leg muscles rippled as she squatted beside her.

He rubbed the base of her ear as he gazed down on her with a look of pity. “Aw- honey, what’s wrong?”

Twilight lifted her muzzle out from the grass as she answered despite the constant heaving, “I-I ju-just want t-t-to go ba-back home!”

He placed his hand under her chin and lifted her head to make her look at him, “Aw- I didn’t know this meant so much to you! I just thought you wanted to ruin our fabulous party.”

She attempted to turn her head away from him in shame, but his hand held her in place. A tear streamed down her face and onto his hand as she spoke, “I-I don’t… I just want back in.”

He scratched underneath her chin, causing her to tilt her head upwards as she purred in slight comfort. “Well, why didn’t you just say so? I mean, you did, but without the super mean tone.”

Her eyes fixated on the boat wreckage beside her as she answered with a tinge of shame, “I-I’m sorry.”

He smiled down at her before her removed his hand from under her chin. “Then I don’t see why we can’t forgive you!”

Her eyes twinkled with hope as she looked back at him. “Really? You’d do that for me?”

A grin split his face before he patted her on top her head. Her ears perked up at the gesture and Twilight lifted herself up off the ground. The bouncer stood back up before he shooed her towards the door.

“Yes, really. Now get in there, mister!”

She smiled at him once more before she balanced on her hind hooves and gave him a hug. He gladly reciprocated it before he let her down softly and pushed her towards the door. Twilight gave him one final glance before she sprinted towards the door. Joy was her sole emotion as she entered the door of her house; however, she came to stop as all the sailors near the front door stopped what they were doing and stared at her with deep scowls.

Twilight heard a record scratch as the music that had been playing came to an abrupt stop. Twilight didn’t spot her friends near her and she gulped heavily. The unfriendly stares she received unnerved her as backed up slowly. Her rump bumped into something hard and she turned around to see the bouncer standing behind her. Though, instead of looking at her with a threatening glare, he was instead nodding at his fellow sailors. With his shades back over his eyes, he gave them a wide smile and a thumbs up.

With hardly a wasted moment, the music resumed and the sailors who had given her glares instead gave her smiles. The majority of them waved at her as she cautiously trotted past the ones stationed near the door.

As she passed through, Twilight couldn’t help but notice just how much cleaner her house was. All of her things were undisturbed except for a few which seemed to have been cleaned up. In one corner of the room, she spotted a sailor who wore a coconut bikini and dusted some shelves whilst he drank a flamingo-colored martini.

Surprise crossed Twilight’s face as she realized just how silly her actions from earlier the morning were now that the situation clearly presented itself to her. She spotted her three friends; Rarity and Fluttershy were talking to two of the more beefy sailors in the room whilst Rainbow Dash was flying over a sailor and styling his hair with a comb.

Twilight made her choice on who to talk to first. Fluttershy let out a tiny gasp as Twilight trotted up to their group. Fluttershy lowered herself and started to mumble under her breath as she looked down at the ground with shame.

“I-I’m sorry! I forgot…”

Twilight lifted Fluttershy up with a hoof before she brought her into an embrace. “It’s alright, Fluttershy. Everything turned out right in the end.”

The two sailors which the girls had been chatting with oohed and awwed as the two of them locked each other into a hug. Twilight was the first to let go as she stepped away from Fluttershy. She looked up at the two accompanying sailors before apologizing, “I’m sorry for disrupting your party earlier.”

The sailors grinned before one of them flicked his hand to the side and responded, “Oh! It’s alright, sweetie. No harm done here.”

The other merely nodded his agreement and then turned to talk to Rarity once more.

Fluttershy settled her rump on the ground as Twilight asked the remaining sailor, “So when do you guys plan to leave? Not saying I want to you to-”

The sailor chuckled before he grabbed a lavender-colored martini from a nearby stand. “Oh, don’t worry! We’ll be outta here before the Army shows up!”

Twilight’s face contorted to one filled with confusion as she asked about the elephant in the room, “Um- what’s the Army?”

The sailor took a sip of his drink before he answered her, “Oh- silly me! Well, the Army are the ruff-and-tuff boys who arrive about a month after we usually do to spoil all the fun! Heck, if we don’t leave in time, we might have to talk to them.” He looked around to the other sailors. “Eww, am I right, boys?”

The other sailors stuck out their tongues and pinched their noses. “Ewww…” they all chanted in unison

Rarity turned from the sailor she had been chatting with to chime in, “Yes, darling. While our friends here may drink and party, the Army…”

Fluttershy cut her off as she giggled, “No one’s left dry when the Army comes by!”

Rarity waved her hoof and rolled her eyes at Fluttershy’s statement. “Well, yes. To put it bluntly, that.”

Confusion still painted Twilight’s face as she glanced between her friends and the sailor.

“Girls, I still don’t get it. What does the Army do?”

Fluttershy giggled again before she patted Twilight on the head. “Nothing you’d want to know about, Twilight.”

Twilight was about to complain and demand an explanation, but she was cut off as the sailor who Rarity had been talking to squealed, “Oooh- now who’s up for a game, guys?”

A chorus of ‘meeee!’ erupted throughout the room as multiple sailors answered the call of duty. One voice chimed in above the rest, “I know! Let’s play spin the bottle!”

A voice whom she couldn’t identify answered his suggestion, “Ewww- Butch, don’t be so gay all the time!”

This time, Twilight’s curiosity powered over all other thoughts and disturbances as she asked one of the sailors, “What’s gay?”

The sailor giggled before he swatted at the air with his hand. “Oh- It just when men like us act a bit more girly than normal. Well, that’s the stereotype anyway.”

“Yeah,” another sailor added in, “They also like other men, not like there’s a problem with that because-” he looked around at other members of the group “-what do we say, boys?”

“None of our business!” they all replied happily before they laughed boisterously.

Twilight giggled as it died down She knew this was a chance to finally connect with her new friends. “So,” she began with a smile on her face, “you’re all gay then, right?”

Silence permeated the room as everyone, including Twilight’s friends, stared at her with shock.

Finally, after a silence awkward enough to be tangible, the sailor she was speaking to responded, “We’re not gay; we’re just in the Navy.”

Twilight stood in place, dumbfounded at her blunder.

“Oh...”