Chapters
Ever see black parchment? I have, a lot. My dad writes exclusively on the stuff, using only red ink. Because of course he does! That’s so him that he almost doesn't have a choice to not do it. Tartarus, I didn’t even know parchment came in white until my parents sent me to school in Canterlot since I wanted to learn modern musical theory.
So, naturally, whenever I got a letter from my folks, everyone knew. It’s kinda hard to keep getting mail from home a secret when it’s sent on black parchment, bound in red silk ribbon, and sealed with white wax. That right there is super distinct. Dad doesn't even put a return address on his mail anymore. They know it’s from him.
“Another letter from your father?” Octavia asked as she came into the living room, easily spying the letter on the table in front of me.
“Yeah, looks like it.” I sighed.
I peaked at my marefriend over the top of my glasses, red eyes sadly urging her to let me read it in peace.
Octy rolled her eyes at me and moved over to our book case. “I know you like to read them alone, but I need to find a songbook I’m certain I left in here. I won’t read over your shoulder. Go ahead.”
“Alright.” I sighed.
Hopefully dad hadn’t put anything too him in the letter. Ha! Yeah right. Better hope Octavia didn’t decide to read it anyways.
I carefully peeled the wax off with my magic, slipped the scroll free of the ribbon, opened it, and slowly began to read the first line of his spidery, thin, horn writing.
To my most beloved daughter, Vinyl , and by extension of the bonds of my fatherly love, her chosen spouse to be, Octavia Melody .
Horseapples… I bit my lip and read the rest of it.
I recently attended court in Canterlot and had the most delightful opportunity to hear your music. I regret that I was unable to hear you live, however, even in the form of a recording I found great enjoyment in your musical stylings. You remind me of myself at your age, though our instruments of choice differ greatly, we both have the same passion and drive for music. Did you know nobles are listening to your work in an attempt to appear more in touch with the younger generation? I am delighted to know my daughter has achieved some level of fame within her craft.
Double horseapples! He was trying to butter me up so he could drag me through something. I totally knew it from the way he addressed it. Now, he would say something about home to get me thinking about it...
It has been most peaceful at the estate this summer. The village also enjoyed a pleasant and plentiful season. We were blessed with a delightfully robust surplus of food from the winter stocks, enough where I was able to throw a spring equinox feast for everypony. I am saddened you chose not to attend, we held the feast in the glade you enjoyed playing in so much. I am sure you know the one. Where the trees arch over and form a ceiling with their branches? It truly is a lovely spot. I am considering constructing a path to it so it may be used for formal events in good weather.
I am certain you remember Lightfrost, your former hoofmaiden? She got married this last month to a rather nice stallion also on the staff. Though for the life of me I can not recall his name. He must be one of your mother’s servants. I let Lightfrost borrow one of your gowns for her ceremony. I am sure you don't mind but I feel the need to inform you regardless. The new couple sends you their warm regards.
And now the thing he really wanted from me…
Their wedding brought to mind your long term commitment to your beloved Octavia. I fully understand your reasons for not yet wedding her, and I assume you two have all the time in the world to wait for more favorable conditions. However, it pains me to realize that my daughter has been courting a young noblemare, yet has not once in twelve years introduced her to the family. I understand the young’s need for independence quite well, so surely you can understand a father's wishes to see the source of his daughter’s happiness in person.
Again, this occurred to me while in a quite dull session of court. Meaning I had plenty of time to realize one of the friends you have written to me about is also of some standing within the nobility. I am uncertain if your friend Meep’s title of Lady denotes her as a noble’s daughter or a knight in her own right. This made me realize I do not know anything about your friends.
Remember when you were a filly? I knew all your friends by name. I even hired their families on as staff so you could play with them more. I miss knowing whom my daughter spends time with, and it’s not like your mother and I can simply have another one of you.
As such, I formally invite you, Octavia, and your friends to our castle in Hollow Shades for a weekend (or longer should you wish to stay a while) for a proper welcoming into the family, and naturally a dinner. Should you wish to attend, a carriage will arrive in Ponyville in five days to take you and your friends home for the festivities.
I stopped reading and rubbed my forehead with a hoof. You know I can’t do that dad! Or well… maybe you don’t. Oh ponyfeathers! He had no idea if they knew anything about him, or my family! No, he said ‘all the time in the world’, he thought I had! Bucking Tartarus!
What would they think if they went to my old home and my dad had prepared a meal for everyone which they wouldn’t be able to even think about eating? Oh man, Lyra would want to explore the castle, and she would find every last hidden passage! Faust only knows what Octavia would think of my parents...
I groaned and looked to the last part of the letter. At least I could just tell him no.
Because I know you, and how you think, and assume you wish to remain away from home, I regret to inform you that I have gone behind your back on this matter. I have sent an invitation to all of your friends, enchanted in such a way as to have arrived the moment you opened this letter.
“Motherbucking son of a Timberwolf!” I shouted the letter dropping from my magic.
Octy looked up from the bookshelf, alarmed. “What is it? Oh no! Did somepony die? Vi, I’m so sorry!”
I shook my head angrily. “No… dad’s invited everyone to his place for the weekend. But he sent everyone their own invite so I’ll have to go because everypony will want to.”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “You have always said you like your father, why would you be so mad about-” her eyes narrowed slightly, “Wait, are you embarrassed about me?”
Oh buck! I held up my hooves urgently to try to calm the ticking vein in Octy’s eye before she went critical. “No! No! No! I write my dad about you all the time! I… I just… I don't want our relationship to change… and if I introduce you to my parents it totally will.”
“Bah!” Octavia scoffed, waving a hoof back at me, “However your parents are, you are still you. I know your father is a noble of some sort, if you are afraid that money will change everything… You are aware of my family business, aren’t you? It’s not like I need or want to marry for money.”
My ears dropped as I realized there was going to be no talking anypony out of this. Dad won, again. The score was now dad 3089, Vi 1489.
“Fine…” I sighed miserably. “Let me finish this letter and I’ll go get packed.”
I believe this sets the score of our little game at 3089 to 1489, my favor. Don’t worry my dear, you will get far better at outmaneuvering others with time! Though you will never surpass the master. I did outmaneuvered my way into a countship back when that meant something after all. Be sure your friends pack for cooler weather, it might be a tad colder in the mountains.
Your petname for me when you were a filly,
(Please giggle at this Ms. Melody)
Daddypookins
P.S.
What’s this I hear about you updating the family name to modern Equish? This irks me. I shall have my revenge posthaste!
I quickly rolled the letter back up. There was no way in Tartarus I was going to let Octy know what I used to call my dad! So uncool...
“When will we be off then?” Octavia asked trotting over to give me a gentle hug.
“This coming weekend. He’s sending a carriage in five days to pick us up.” I sighed.
Octavia pulled back and gave me a concerned look. “Er- This weekend?”
“Yeah, why?” I asked with a confused expression, then nodded as I remembered. “Oh right! You do that midnight concert once a month. That’s this weekend?”
“Well it’s called the Monthly Moonlight Melody, so you tell me.” she said flatly.
“There’s a moon every night.” I pointed out.
Octavia facehooved. “It’s only bright enough to do a proper concert at night on a full moon Vi… I… I suppose I could miss one. Somepony could cover for me.” Octavia mumbled nervously.
I gave her a gentle hug, “I’m sure somepony can. Hey, if you feel bad about missing one, my dad’s estate is like, huge. You could find some place to play there. The orchard’s pretty nice, and there’s this sick glade a short ways off where the trees make it look like you're inside because they form a solid roof.”
“Oh!” Octavia exclaimed softly looking up again. “It’s a rural estate?”
“Yeah. My family um… We kinda own the fiefdom Hollow Shades is in.” I admitted slowly.
Octavia gave me an oddly relieved smile. “I think everything will be just fine. Why don’t we go ahead and pack? I’m sure everypony else is doing the same.”
Holding the black, red, and white scroll which had just arrived moments ago at my home carefully in my magic I trotted up the stairs to our bedroom to give it to my special somebuggy. “Dear… a swarm of bats dropped a scroll on the porch…”
I was so not dealing with a teleporting bat swarm airdropping mail. Not until Meep checked the formula.
“That’s nice.” She called. Then a second later, Meep poked her head out from our bedroom, black and gray pixiebob mane flopping over one eye. “Wait, what?”
I waved the scroll carefully, incase it was magic, or something.
Meep sighed and stepped back into our room. “I’ll get the Log.”
The Log was a thick book we recorded everything crazy that happened in Ponyville in. By this point, with our experience living in this often disaster stricken town, and a little help from Princess Twilight, we had worked out a way to check for the special Ponyville brand of disaster based on what was happening. Although, it didn’t always work.
Meep mumbled to herself a she checked a spreadsheet and scratched a few notes, then quickly crunched Twilight’s disaster probability equation in her head. “Well… there's only a twenty eight percent chance this is going to lead to disaster. That’s below the safety threshold. We should read it.”
“Are you sure you don't mean eighty two?” I asked carefully.
We, that is our friends, had discovered Meep’s amazing ability to make a truly terrible mistake or decision when under pressure the hard way.
“Let me check…” she hummed then nodded, “Yep, twenty eight point three-seven nine-two repeating.”
“Okay, let’s read it then.” I decided, slowly opening the scroll.
“Oh hey!” Meep exclaimed, snuggling up to my side, “Doesn't Vi’s dad send her letters like this? Maybe it was misdelivered by whatever spell he uses.”
“No, it’s addressed to us.” I pointed out, flashing the names on the outside of the parchment as I opened it and began to read.
To the respective friends of my daughter,
My most cordial greetings! I have taken the liberty of inviting you, along with my daughter Vinyl, to my estate for the weekend. The purpose of this gathering is two fold. First, her mother and I desire to meet the mare our daughter has been courting for so long, and second, I would like to meet the friends Vinyl keeps talking about in such loving terms.
It would be an honor and a privilege to have you stay for the weekend in my castle in Hollow Shades. While it was not built for housing guests but rather war, Ravenloft has been quite extensively renovated from its original state. I assure you a more comfortable place to stay can not be found.
Should you desire to attend, I have planned a formal dinner, so kindly bring eveningwear. If you do not own any, fear not, I can have some made for you. I have also planned an informal dinner, so bring your fur coat. Or in the case of Meep, your chitin. Feel free to remain unmorphed if you so desire, my fief is welcoming to all manner of people.
A carriage will be dispatched and arrive five days hence. Should you wish to attend this reunion, simply board it when it arrives.
Your Friend,
Count Damsire Scârţâi
P.S.
I am mildly irked that my daughter is using the modern version of our family name. Since I am certain she did not allow Ms. Melody to read the letter I sent to her, Ms. Melody likely missed my revenge. As such please inform Ms. Melody that Vinyl's foalhood nickname for me was ‘Daddypookins’ while in my company, so I can relish in my daughter’s mild humiliation.
This is a matter of Fatherly Irritation. I am sure you know my honor rests upon this matter and will carry it out expediently. Thank you.
Up until the personal sending, I had figured it would be best to let Vi’s parents meet Octavia without all of us tagging along. But I totally had to see Vi’s dad now. He sounded hilarious!
“Sweetie… we have got to go.” I urged.
Meep nodded, holding back a giggle. “We do! If only to see Vi’s face when I let that slip! I owe her one for spiking the cider last week!”
“So… we should probably pack!” I exclaimed hopping up to find my bags.
“Seriously?” Meep asked shaking her head. “A whole five days in advance?”
“You never know what you might forget if you pack at the last minute.” I sang teasingly.
Meep groaned, “You forget a telescope while going stargazing one time and nopony ever lets you live it down!”
I giggled. “Well sure, when it’s an astrophysicist who forgets to bring the telescope.”
I’d never been to Hollow Shades before, but I have heard a lot about it. Mostly in history classes. Apparently way back in pre-Discord times the ponies who owned the land were ousted by the family who currently owns it, and there was a ton of conflicts with early Equestria. Even a few battles.
Then one day, poof, alliance, and a few years later, bam, integrated into Equestria as a province. So, you know, that’s pretty weird. You don't see many places in early Equestrian history who were willing to fight just, well, stop.
According to some very reliable sources of mine, it was because Celestia hit their leader with the Elements to force a peace treaty. Though that theory has never been proven, so I figured hey, might as well check while I’m there. Maybe somepony knew what went down all those years ago. It was their homeland after all.
Also, I kinda wanted to meet one of my best friend’s folks! Everypony had met mine already, even Meep as her buggy self. Of course, I was also here for the food. As I said to Bon-bon, when some count goes, ‘hey, dinner at my place,’ you don’t say no!
Most of the time, I wanted nothing to do with snooty nobles. But, well, this was a rich guy in a cool place, which was allegedly haunted, who based off his letter seemed pretty fun! More rich uncle with epic house, less ‘let them eat cake’ jerkbag.
I do admit, I had kinda thought that the one black stallion the guy sent was going to pull all of us in his cart the three thousand or so miles to Vi’s dad’s place. Instead, we were driven to the train station, and the cart loaded on the train. Duh, I guess. Less cool though.
The awesome part was we got a private car! The entire thing had this awesome thick red shag carpeting, drapes made from black and cold cloth, dark wood paneling… It would have looked like a villain's lair if it weren't for the ton of silver candlesticks, and the nice white sofas, and awesome hoof carved bookcases. It looked like somepony had told Rarity ‘Decorate it subtly, using darker colors.’
Based on the train car I had expected us to pull into an epic train station with gold inlaid black marble floors, and be carted down a cool pathway with arching tree ceilings to a big manor house laid down on a cliffside. Or some other cool thing you can do with all the bits ever. You know, eccentric rich guy stuff.
Instead, the train stopped with a screech of iron on iron and within a few minutes we were hustled off onto the deck of a drab, stucco and wood shingle train station. The entire station was covered in fog so thick you couldn't see more than a few dozen feet. Two big iron lanterns hung on the wall, and were lit because the thick, hugely overgrown forest was so thick and tall it was blocking out the last of the sunlight four hours before sundown.
The wooden platform creaked underhoof like it was made of the joints of a thousand grandmothers. Absolutely nopony else aside from the six of us and the same black stallion from before could be seen anywhere. The train took off the second he unloaded the cart and our bags, vanishing into the fog down the tracks, sound and all in a few brief moments.
Insta-creepy.
“If you are all inclined, the cart is ready to take you to the castle.” What’s-his-name announced out of nowhere.
Everypony just sort of nervously shuffled their hooves for a few minutes until Vinyl sighed and hopped up into the cart. “Come on, let’s just get this over with.”
One by one we climbed in, taking a seat wherever the luggage wasn't occupying. The black stallion hitched himself up to the cart a few seconds later. Prompting me to realize I hadn’t got his name. It seemed a bit mean to have him pull us who knows how far without even knowing his name.
“Er, excuse me, but what’s your name? I didn't catch it.” I asked.
“I didn’t give it Ma’am.” He replied simply.
The earth pony began walking forward way easier than she should have given the weight he was pulling. The cart creaked and bounced as he pulled it over the dusty cobblestone road. He must have been pretty buff under that shaggy black fur.
“Well, can I have it?” I asked curiously.
“Raven Field.” He answered, not even bothering to turn around.
I turned to give Vi a look of irritation. My eyes doing the best to demand she explain this.
Vi sighed, and pointed off into the distance. “It’s Hollow Shades, and he’s a servant. His family has probably been working as Waggoners, for like, generations. There's a whole culture. You don’t really speak to the people you’re transporting. That’s rude. You’re interrupting their privacy.”
“The Baroness is quite correct, Ms. Heartstrings.” Raven said again in the same flat tone.
“That’s kinda stupid… You can talk if you want.” I offered.
He remained silent. Pulling our cart down the long, wide road. Trees looming in the fog on all sides.
We lapsed into silence for a while. The entire trip had shifted from Vi moping around while we had fun to the set of an actually creepy horror movie. There were even signs made from a single plank of wood nailed to a tree and pointed on one side to label the other roads which occasionally split off from the one we were on. Despite this, there were absolutely no signs of life.
“I’m cold.” Cole complained, her voice making everypony jump.
A heartbeat passed and Meep cleared her throat. “Don’t worry, I gotcha.”
Meep stood up, stepped over to Cole and shifted. The lash of green flames lit up the countryside for a fair distance. For a split second, I swore I saw a dozen different creatures lurking in the fog just out of view.
Cole picked up Meep, who was now a fluffy yellow and black quilt, and snuggled into her. “Thanks dear.”
Bon-bon gave me a jealous look. “I’m cold too.”
I smiled at her, trying to forget what I thought I had seen in the fog. “I’m good Bonnie, but I’m not that good.”
Meep giggled telepathically.
“How the buck can you even hear like that?” Vinyl asked.
Finally! Someone actually asked that!
she answered.
“Driver,” Octavia asked, “Will the trip be much longer?”
“Only a few more minutes, Ms. Melody.” Raven answered.
It figured Octavia would be used to dealing with servants. Her folks were loaded after all.
I pulled Bon-bon close to me to share warmth and cast a simple comfort spell. After a few minutes the cold air felt kinda toasty and Bonnie gratefully flopped her head onto my shoulder.
Noticing everypony else doing something to provide warms to their lover Vi peaked at Octavia over her glasses. “Are you cold?”
“No. Are you?” she asked in return.
“Nope… We could snuggle anyways.” VI proposed.
“It’s weird in front of other people…” Octavia mentioned with a light blush as she nodded towards Raven.
Then silence kicked up again. Just the creak of the cart, the faint rustling of wind, the clip-clop of Raven’s hooves and the occasional impatient sigh of Vinyl. I couldn’t shake the image of those things I might have seen in the fog. Fear slowly covered me, layer by layer, like somepony was basting a turkey with fear juices.
The scenery finally changed, the trees on either side thinned out until we were in a massive clearing. The center was dominated by what looked like an old meteorite crater, a big bowl like dip in the ground a few miles across. It was so big the village of Hollow Shades was built in it.
The crater was filled with a large lake which looked almost black in the super dim light. The village itself was built on the sides of the rim in layers kinda like a wedding cake only hollow in the middle. I guess that was the hollow in Hollow Shades.
The Shades part was probably thanks to the seriously massive trees! Just one of those trees could become half of the buildings in Ponyville. Along with the mountains which surrounded the village they were seriously making it look like it was just about night, and it was only like, six thirty tops!
It would be awesome if the trees didn’t seem to loom over you, like giants ready to eat ponies like popcorn.
“What kind of trees are these anyways?” Cole asked curiously.
“Giant Sequoia Redwoods.” Vi answered as she looked over to the faint orange glow of the sun to west.
What was she looking for? I didn’t see anything. Just the seriously freaking huge trees.
A wolf’s mournful howl suddenly split the air.
“You didn’t say your dad ruled a bunch of werewolves.” Bon-bon joked nervously. Probably hoping joking about spooky stories would make this feel less spooky.
“Werewolf?” Octavia squeaked, ears perking and eyes dilating nervously.
“There.” Raven exclaimed suddenly.
“Huh?” I asked looking up.
Raven pointed off to our right. “There wolf.” Then he pointed off to the left and up. “There castle.”
“Why are you talking like that?” I asked, too baffled to look where he had pointed.
“I thought you wanted to. Suit yourself, I’m easygoing.” He said in a chipper tone before falling back into silence again.
Then I looked up and to the left. “Woah…”
There is one castle that every single last pony can describe off the top of their heads. Even if they have never seen it. No, it’s not the soaring golden towers of Canterlot.
It’s the massive, square shaped, gothic castle that seems to be made of nothing but towers shaped like needles jutting up into the sky, big angles, buttressing, stained glass windows, and big stone bridges to connect outer towers to it, all of which is perched on the side of a cliff or mountain so it looms over you as you approach.
Better known as ‘Totally-not-filled-with-evil-and/or-the-undead Keep’. Yep, that one. It was only missing getting struck by lightning as we looked at it.
Everypony’s ears drooped as the castle loomed overhead. Octavia gave Vinyl a nervous look, which we all shortly joined her in doing.
“What? I didn’t build it like that!” Vi protested. “It’s way less creepy in the day, okay?”
Meep asked in confusion.
“Vi’s dad lives in the old B-movie evil castle. Literally.” Cole said softly.
there was a blaze of light as Meep changed back to her real self, materializing draped over Cole’s back. Her ears instantly drooped. “Uhh… wow… That’s… yeah that’s exactly what you said.”
Vinyl rubbed her head with both hooves. “Look, they shot the first evil vampire story here back in like, the silent movie days… I know it looks like the cliche evil castle. It’s… only kinda like that.”
“Only kinda?” Octavia echoed in concern.
“Well… it does have a dungeon, and hidden passages, and a sorcerer's sanctum, and random iron blazers for lighting in the really big cavernous rooms, and a bedroom in the highest room of the tallest tower… But dad’s nice! Kinda.” Vi said slumping down in her impromptu seat. “He’s just really eccentric.”
“I notice you didn’t say he wasn’t an evil vampire overlord.” Bon-bon teased.
“I said he was nice. That implies he’s not evil!” Vi protested, glaring at her over her glasses.
Octavia snickered. “I like how you just implied your father is a nice vampire overlord.”
“Er, Baroness…” Raven said hesitantly, “You didn’t-”
“No. I didn’t.” Vi grumbled slumping down again.
Raven snickered. “Only another minute madams!”
My suspicion-o-meter peaked. Every other pony in this wagon might think true vampires are fictional, but I knew better. Everyone is my little group knew better. There were other blood drinkers aside from the rare batpony with recessive genes, who prevented the common pony from digging deeper by providing an easy explanation for the source of the vampire myth. The real ones were out there somewhere...
Cole blinked, then grinned laughed, “Oh my Celestia! Please tell me your dad is a batpony! I could totally see somepony deciding to totally own the whole blood drinking thing like this!”
“No. He’s a unicorn. So’s my mom.” Vi sighed.
I shifted nervously in my seat. That ruled out the safe option…
No, bad Lyra! You’re thinking based on a bunch of spooky nonsense and jumping the gun just like Bon-bon always scolds you for doing! Vi’s dad is not a real vampire, it’s just a spooky evening out tonight and a coincidence with the castle making you think along the lines of a horror story.
The cart lurched as Raven stopped moving, parking us just in front of the castle’s massive black wood and dull gray iron banded doors. Two massive iron lanterns hung on either side of the door and lit the area up that showed the castle to be made from granite covered in white plaster. Which was good, if it had been black like it looked from the road I think I would have spontaneously learned to teleport.
Still a bit spooked from the ride everypony quietly got off the cart and started to stretch their legs. Deciding to be nice, I slowly started levitating everypony’s luggage down after them. I figured a servant or something could do it, but I’m not a dick like that.
The castle doors exploded open! Bright light bathed the entryway, a blur suddenly grabbed me and lifted me up in a crushing embrace! Stars exploded in my eyes!
“Vinyl! My little filly! How delight- Oh! Sorry.” A voice said in my ear as I was quickly set down.
As I gasped for air, I managed to make out a tall white unicorn stallion with a long straight black mane and tail, in a black cloak with blood red trim. He trotted away from me, and lifted Vi up in the same terrifying rib crushing bear hug I assume I just had.
“Vinyl! My little filly! How delightful to have you home again!” He announced. In a Trotsylvanian accent.
Colgate's jaw dropped as she looked at the stallion’s face. So did Meep’s, Bonbon’s and Octavia’s. Oh crap… I’d called it hadn’t I?
“Hey dad… so um… could you hit Lyra with some healing magic?” Vi said in a nervous tone.
“What are you talking about? I barely squeezed her, she’d have to be a mortal to be… Oh.” He paused for a moment, his horn burned red, and I stopped feeling like my everything was bruised.
He turned around and gave me a concerned look, and I spotted fangs in his concerned frown. “I’m terribly sorry! I figured with how much she liked you Vinyl would have turned you all so she doesn't outlive…”
He facehooved, and slowly turned back to Vinyl. “Sweetie… did you tell your friends you're a vampire?”
Everypony in our group was still frozen with shock. Yet somehow, a dramatic gasp came from somewhere in the distance. The hay?
“No…” Vi admitted, ears drooping. Her entire body shook nervously.
“Ha!” He laughed, flashing a way to wide grin.
An instant later he waved a hoof towards the way to bright and cheery castle interior for a vampire to be living in. “Right, you girls, when the shock wears off there is going to be a delightfully awkward conversation that I do not want to miss. So come on in! Let’s have it in the foyer. Oh, yes, right. You’re all perfectly safe, everypony here only feeds on volunteers.
“Come on. It’s going to rain soon. The nights here are cursed to be all spooky, you don’t want to get caught in the spooky rain.” He finished walking inside himself.
Despite the fact she had been lying to us, for like, ever, everypony turned to Vinyl for an answer to what we should do. Habit, I guess.
“Yes it’s actually safe, yes it’s going to rain, no dad didn’t curse the night, it just does that. Also, the rain is literally bone chilling, so yeah.” Vi muttered walking inside slowly.
To my amazement Bon-bon snapped out of it first. “Right. Relocate to not-about-to-be-rained-on place, then grill friend for an explanation.”
That was most definitely a solid plan.
Everypony kinda shuffled into the foyer, and just stared at me quietly.
Right, so, absolute worst fear currently in progress. Dad figured out I couldn’t say no to the whole crew, and wanted me to visit, so now everypony knows I’m a blood sucking monster. Even worse is the stupid extra gloomy rain outside pouring down like salt in a wound.
At least dad kept the place as nice as I remembered it being. Black marble floor, inlaid rosewood, lots of silver nicknacks. Also that really attractive closet for guests’ coats and boots. I could totally just hop into the closet, close it with magic and just hide for like, forever. Yeah!
“Don’t mind me kids! I’m just going to loom here in the corner and watch.” Dad chuckled, taking a seat in a plush armchair next to the door.
You bastard, I’ll get you back for completely crushing- Bucking ‘ay, this was partly my fault. Mostly my fault. “Okay, um so… I probably, at some point. Shoulda-”
“Am I just your bucking bloodbag!?” Octavia screamed eyes burning with more rage than I had ever seen.
Well, almost. The hot sauce sammich prank was probably a bit worse.
“Those sunglasses! Luna’s mane, the sunglasses!” Lyra exclaimed, facehoofing. “I should have known!”
Ignoring everypony else’s exclamations, I focused all my attention on Octavia, “Hon, I actually, completely, irrevocably love you, and for the record, your blood is terrible. So I don’t really-”
“Oh! So I’m terrible, am I?!” Octavia demanded stomping a hoof and leaning in closer, rage building to critical mass.
Thanks a lot brain! You’re getting drowned in booze later! “It's not your fault Octy! B positive is just way too sweet tasting. It’s like drinking a lollipop!”
“I have half a mind to-” Octavia stopped mid sentence her eyes wrinkled slightly in a grin even though the rest of her face remained still.
My joke worked! Not well enough, but at least it seemed to calm her a bit. “Octavia… I… I seriously love you. I didn’t tell you because of exactly what’s happening right now!”
“And just what is happening right now?” She demanded, slamming a hoof into the floor.
“A stupid argument which is going to lead to us breaking up because I missed the sweet spot of telling you where you loved me enough to ignore me being a bucking monster, but before we were together so long that it hurts I didn’t tell you!” I whimpered, slumping to the floor, ears drooping as the depression kicked back in.
“Were not breaking up you idiot!” Octavia Shouted, “I’m just mad you didn’t tell me something so majorly important! I’m also pissed that every time I’ve cooked for you has been meaningless! You know I hate cooking!”
“I told you, you didn’t have to cook…” I mumbled scratching the back of my head with a hoof. “Also it’s not meaningless, pony food is good…”
“You are going to tell me exactly how you have hidden yourself from me this entire time. You are also going to tell me if you are a threat to anypony.” Octavia demanded, taking a deep breath. “Then I’ll forgive you.”
“You didn’t forgive me for months!” Meep objected, giving Octavia a hurt look.
“Because, unlike you, I sleep with her.” Octavia informed curtly, giving Meep a ‘no duh’ deadpan.
Maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright. I took a deep breath, “I’m not going to hurt anypony, like ever. Dad runs Hollow Shades as a refuge for monsters and outcasts, there are rules. I’ve always been a vampire, like, I was born like this.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t have the ‘bitey phaze’.” dad commented from his chair. “No but seriously we raised her to ask before biting. It mostly worked, mostly.”
“What he said.” I muttered. “Seriously, I kinda get sick to my stomach thinking of just well, taking food by force. It’s, it’s almost literally rape! It’s just wrong!”
“Alright, that sounded sincere.” Octavia concluded with a nod. “Except, you know what my blood tastes like, and I never said you could have any!”
“Wrong!” I said quickly. “On our third date you said I could bite if I wanted too, because you were into that sort of thing.”
“Ha! Irony!” Lyra giggled. Along with dad.
They shared and awkward look for a moment before their eyes wandered off in different directions.
Meanwhile, Octavia blushed beet red and bit her lip. “So um… every time…”
“Yeah.” I answered giving her a slow nod.
“But you said I taste bad…” Octy continued.
“You do, which is great! It means I never take enough to hurt you. Or turn you by accident.” I gave dad a pleading look. I needed him to step in for a minute.
Thank Faust he understood. “Ms. Melody, if my daughter liked your… flavor, you would be one of us by now whether you liked it or not. Which would be bad. Forcing the change in somepony tends to drive them insane. It took me years to recover, well years and a point blank shot from the Elements. Oh, and before you ask why you never noticed holes, our saliva seals them up. It’s not a healing potion, but it can stitch small punctures back together.”
“That would explain why she licks…” Octavia murmured still blushing. Suddenly her angry face came back, “Wait! You said I wasn’t just a meal!”
I facehooved hard enough for it to hurt, Octavia flinched at the cracking sound. “You’re not! I buy most of my meals at the hospital. I only really ever fed off you because it’s a territory thing.”
This was a super embarrassing argument to have in full view of my best friends. Literally the worst. Judging by Octavia’s slow embarrassed hoof shuffling, she was equally embarrassed.
“Lets go to the next thing.” She asked quickly.
“Yeah!” I cleared my throat, “So um, the hiding part…” I turned to look at Lyra, “Lyra, how do you kill a vampire?”
“Well, obviously sunlight doesn't do it, or you would be so dead.” she quipped.
“It just stops us using most of our powers.” Dad commented. “Though, I personally get sunburns under my fur, which sucks! Pun intended.”
Bon-bon and Cole groaned. Lyra grinned a little. Figures she would like dad’s jokes.
“So then... that leaves the method where you drive a stake through it’s heart while it’s asleep, stuff a brick in the mouth, cut off the head and bury it under the roots of an oak tree, burn the body, then come back and put silver into the brain so it wont regenerate if someone kicks the brick out of it's mouth.” Lyra finished quickly.
“Faust!” Dad exclaimed with a wince, “Keep that to yourself please. Thought I burned all the copies of that book...”
Lyra gasped, “I knew somepony had intentionally destroyed most copies of Von Haysings journal!”
“Yeah, no shit! It’s a ‘how to kill me’ instruction book.” Dad grumbled. “You steal a guy’s mare with your vampire powers one time and suddenly he’s mass producing instructions on how to kill you. Never, ever, piss off somepony from Germaney.”
I rolled my eyes. “Right. That’s the one that works. So, you find out I’m a vampire. All vampires are evil right? You have to totally kill me before I enslave the entire town or something. Right?”
Lyra squirmed in place for a few moments, “W-well… I um, thought all vampires were evil…”
“Right. That’s a yes. So I say something, or do something vampy and then bam! I’m dead. Or at the least really hurt bad, and things still hurt me! Just cause it wont kill me doesn't mean it’s painless.” I protested.
Dad frowned slightly. He always thought I talked about my lack of certain powers like it was a bad thing. “Sorry about that dear. You mother and I tried our best…”
“It’s fine dad, I’m trying to make a point.” I sighed.
“I… I can accept that.” Octavia decided, trotting forward and giving me an ‘I forgive you hug’.
“Yeah that makes perfect sense.” Bon-bon said decisively.
“As long as you’re not going to you know, kill everypony in our sleep…” Lyra said with a shaky grin.
Dad shook his head and stood up. “Ms. Heartstrings, if I or my daughter wanted to harm you, you would be harmed. We are peaceful creatures of the night. You are completely safe here and with her back in your home.”
“Sure, when she’s sober that makes sense but-”
“We can't get drunk.” I informed. “Well not without a ton of really hard stuff. Besides, I’m a fun drunk, also you taste bad too… In fact, the only pony here who tastes good is Cole… and maybe Meep. I haven't tried her real blood.” I finished thoughtfully.
Dad winced, “Ooo… Not a good idea! Changeling blood will give you the worst heartburn ever. It’s really acidic.”
“Wait, when did you try everyone?” Cole asked.
“That nightmare night I ‘dressed’ as a vampire.” I said with a little grin. Hey, they were in on that joke now!
Everypony facehooved. “Oh my Celestia… How the buck did we fail that spot check?” Lyra groaned.
“So is this how ponies react to terrible dark secrets if their species didn’t just attack a city?” Meep asked bitterly. Then her eyes glowed a bit brighter for an instant. “Oh! This is why you didn’t hold anything against me, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Same boat and stuff.” I said with a nervous tail swish.
“Our bedroom mirror. How come you reflect in it?” Octavia asked suddenly, confusion stamped on her face.
“That’s a myth. We have reflections. Also shadows.” I said pointing to my shadow.
“I’ll take this one Vinyl.” Dad offered before launching off into a quick breakdown. “Weaknesses: Steaks, yes, but then again, who wouldn’t that kill? Same goes for decapitation. Though as mentioned, regeneration is possible unless certain measures are taken.
“Right, so garlic, me no, Vinyl yes, but that’s an allergy. Silver, only halts regeneration, and only if you get it in the blood. Sun, no but as mentioned, prevents some power use. Can’t cross running water, yes, which is why I invented bridges. Have to be invited in to new places, yes. Have to count things, no. Die without a meal a week, yes.
“Powers: Ageless, yes. Regeneration, yes. Stronger, faster, better senses, yes. Regeneration, yes. Flight, me yes, Vinyl, only if she shifts.”
“Wait!” Meep exclaimed excitedly, “Can you actually turn into a bat? That would be awesome! We could do impressions together!”
I shook my head as she clapped her hooves together happily. “No. Dad can, all I can do is shift into ‘hunting mode’. I get wings, so I can fly. It’s not magically enhanced though, so it’s hard work.”
“What makes your father special?” Octavia asked carefully.
“Oh, I’m just Patient Zero is all. No biggie.” Dad chuckled, ignoring Lyra’s shocked sputtering, “Whole thing was an accident in mage college. The curse dilutes a bit with each generation so nopony’s had my abilities in full… Those are all of Vinyl's powers by the way. There are a few more downsides, but I’m certain you have other questions.”
Cole raised a hoof, “Totally want to know how the buck we didn’t notice anything!”
“Also what’s ‘hunting mode’ look like?” Octavia asked curiously.
A bit too curiously. That same kind of curiously she used when asking what kind of toys I liked. Awww yeah! Love is cool with it! Crisis over!
“Okay, so first, pale white fur, black mane and tail. That’s one of the classics right?” I asked, noting everypony nod, “So I dye my mane blue. Boom, less vampire, more odd color palate.”
“Y-you mean you choose that mane color?” Bon-bon asked cautiously.
“Yes.” I said giving her a stiff look. “I like it.”
“I think it looks good.” Meep quipped.
“Thank you. So, sunglasses. I really do have asfedia, but they also totally help with the always on night vision. They also make my eyes look purple instead of red cuz the light shining through them is colored by the lenses.” I looked away from the lamps and slipped my glasses off. “See?”
“Huh… I thought they were more red in the mornings from your drinking.” Octavia commented. “What about the fangs?”
“Retractable.” I said as I slipped my glasses back on. I opened my mouth wide and flexed my fangs, the canines sliding from their recesses to their full length and visibly sharpening. “See?”
Lyra’s head tilted into her intrigued mode. “You know, those look awfully like batpony fangs. Just a bit thicker.”
“There’s a good reason for that.” Dad said in his ‘embrace Vi time’ tone. “Batponies are just pegasi with a tiny bit of my blood in them. I sort of started that particular pegasi subspecies in my younger years. I was really into dark furred pegasi back then.”
Everypony turned to look at dad the instant he finished speaking.
“Seriously?” Cole asked incredulously.
“How?” Bon-bon demanded.
“Yep!” He shook his head, “As for how, well four hundred years of chasing one particular type of wings every night… Did you know it only takes five hundred ponies to form a stable genetic population? I didn’t. Thank goodness I’m a Count! That child support bill was absolutely unfair.” he flashed them all a shit eating grin.
Lyra shook her head incredulously. “You’re joking.”
“You can think that if you want to.” Dad quipped. “Seriously though, 23 year old stallion suddenly gains a hypnotic gaze. You do the math. Then remember I was evil back then.”
“Okay, I’m done processing this.” Octavia informed suddenly. “My marefriend is and has always been a vampire, and didn’t tell anypony because that’s a horrible idea. Her family are also vampires, which is why she’s never let me meet them because that would out her as a blood drinking creature of the night. Not only that, but her father is apparently the first vampire, and so impossibly old that he takes credit for batponies who have been around for at least four thousand years… Oh… Um Vi, how old are you?” she asked looking up in sudden shocked realization.
“I didn’t lie about that, I’m thirty one.” I answered honestly.
“We can’t exactly… just have children with each other.” Dad explained. “I turned my bride three thousand years ago and we spent the entire time until three decades ago working on having a proper child. I don’t truly count batponies as my children because well, I was quite insane at the time. Anyways, Vinyl's our little miracle, literally. It took more magic than you would believe to animate her after birth.”
“I’m super grateful you didn’t give up like you did the others.” I said. I really didn’t say it enough.
“Your mother had a feeling it would work with you. Faust knows why but the spell worked on the fourth time.” Dad shook his head and got out of the chair. “Well, this has been a fun chat, but I have a nice dinner planned. It will be nice to learn about all of you now that you are caught up on our family’s… oddity. Oh… Vinyl, take our guests to the dining hall, I’ll need to get the cooks to prepare some proper food for them. I was not expecting you all to be mortals. Excuse me.”
Dad trotted off, quickly vanishing through a door to the east wing. I kicked one hoof nervously against the floor. I had one thing I needed to ask just to be sure. “So um… we are all still friends. Right?”
“Duh.” Lyra said with an eye roll. “I mean, we’ve sorta had practice at this. Meep being Meep and stuff.”
Bonbon nodded in agreement. “Plus, it’s pretty clear you are not well, evil, or a mindless monster. You’re still you.”
“Also a crap ton of vampires didn’t just attack Ponyville. So there’s no racial stigma. No, I’m not letting this go yet!” Meep grumbled glaring daggers at everypony.
Colegate giggled and shook her head. “Hey, I’m dating one kind of vampire, so obviously you guys don't bother me.”
I looked to Octavia, just needing confirmation. Because with her mood swings well…
She gave me a smile. “Well, I did enjoy reading The Vampire Diaries. Though I am curious, what does that hunting shape you mentioned look like?”
“Slightly longer spikey mane and tail, ears get fluffy, bigger, and bat shaped, I grow bat wings, fangs extend, and my eyes glow a bit.” I answered.
“Can I see it?” she asked hopefully.
“Sure later. Mom will yell at me for going to dinner like that.” I sighed.
“Wait, so it just stops after a certain amount of time?” Meep asked horrified. “What if you’re flying?!”
“No like, I can't turn it off until at least an hour’s passed. I dont know why.” I shook my head and started to walk to the hallway which would take us to the dining hall. “Come on. it’s this way. The place is freaking huge so don’t get lost.”
I wish I could have been impressed by the dining hall, but I had far more pressing matters on my mind. Sure the large room was rather grand, just like the entryway, only with three big marble long tables making a U shape for everypony to dine at. But I had just learned my special somepony was a vampire.
While I thought I was fine with it, I wasn’t completely sure yet. It wasn’t any animosity for vampires, civilized predatory creatures get a rather unfair reputation. It was mostly the fact Vi had neglected to tell me something so basic about herself, despite how close we were. Though, that did make me something of a hypocrite. I had my own secrets as well.
I suppose in the end everypony has the things about themselves they hide. Everypony has the things they fear others learning. Some of them are simply greater than others. So I couldn’t bare her too much animosity. Especially when her life was on the line.
The other thing filling my mind was the fact that just above the massive carved wooden throne at the center of the table arrangement was a huge, gold framed, oil painting of Vinyl's father. While plenty of nobles I knew had paintings of themselves, his was labeled with a brass nameplate with the word ‘Me’ etched into it along with a few bars of a song I assumed was theme music. The burning ‘why?’ of that nameplate was almost as mind consuming as Vinyl's true self.
Vinyl… How many times had I woken up to breakfast in bed? How many countless cold nights had she cuddled up and offered hot chocolate? There was the time she helped me score one of my symphonies, despite not enjoying working with classical music. A million acts of love over nearly eighteen years. She might have withheld her true nature from me, but she did truly love me.
As I took a seat next to Vi at the table, I nodded to myself, resolving to continue loving her just as I had before. The only thing which changed was I no longer had to cook. A bonus for any mare who despised pots and pans.
I reached over and gently squeezed Vi’s hoof with my own, giving her a reassuring smile. Nothing had changed. Everything was fine.
She turned, noticing the squeeze, and gave me the most gleeful, relieved smile I had ever seen her give anypony. It lit up the room almost as much as Colgate's grins, and this time, having seem them once before, I could make out Vinyl's fangs. They did look rather cute.
Perhaps I should open myself completely to her. I knew presumably knew everything about her now. It would be only fair.
A tinge of fear shot up the base of my neck. Perhaps that would not be the best thing to say to a vampire… Truth did lurk within fiction after all. Who knew what stories were more than merely fabrications of an artist's fancy.
I needed to focus on something else. So I focused on that nameplate. I could swear I recognized the score’s notation from somewhere.
I’d always thought of Vinyl as being a bit off for a pony. That chill, laid back attitude wasn’t very typical. At least, not like how Vi had it. Sure a pony might be a relaxed person, but Vi was relaxed like she was indestructible. That always made me wonder if she were reckless, or hiding something.
I figured she was simply overly confident in her magic. Perhaps she knew some hidden arcane lore, or had mastered the use of sorcery. Or as it turned out, was a Vampire. That would also do it.
Profiling ponies is something I do. It helps with a lot of things besides what I was originally taught it for. Working out exactly the right kind of sweets to make for a customer based on their order and my profile of them was one of the only reason I could compete with Pinkie. It’s what kept that skill sharp for me. It’s why I was accepting of Vinyl's past.
Subconsciously speaking, I had known something was off with her. So now that I knew it was less me being angry, and more being surprised at the result. Therefore, nothing had changed in our relationship aside from my eagerness to know a few lingering details. Details which I was planning to ask Vi’s father when he returned from wherever.
A stallion who looked for all the world like the stereotypical butler, only middle aged not old teleported into the room near one of the doors and immediately opened it with his magic. “Announcing the Count and Countess Scârtâi.”
The door creaked open, Vinyl's father walked into the room, an equally tall pale blue mare at his side. I focused my attention on the mare for a moment.
I couldn’t help but notice she carried herself in a military bearing, no not military, combat trained, but more domestic officer than soldier. At some point it was very likely she had been a city guard of some kind. I also couldn’t help but notice she had epicly curvy and plump flanks but a skinny body.
Oh. My. Celestia. The vampire married the police girl, with the big flanks. Ha!
“Renfield,” the Count sighed rolling his eyes. “The formal dinner, is tomorrow.”
“That is no excuse to curtail my duties sir.” the butler said turning to us as Vi’s parents took their seats. “Tonight’s dinner had to be rushed, as such I hope you do not mind a simple appetizer while a main course is prepared.”
A pair of earth ponies quickly rushed in from a servant's entrance and in record time set a solar salad in front of everypony that was big enough to be a main course all on it’s own. They were almost totally silent except for the clinking of plates. Except when one of them set down Vi’s plate.
“Welcome home m’lady. Don’t worry I remembered no garlic.” the servant said with a small bow.
Vi gave her a small smile, “Thanks Light, good to see you again.”
She giggled and pushed her cart off, “Well it’s not like I’m going anywhere.”
Octavia gave Vi a suspicious look.
“She was my nanny Octy.” Vi said rolling her eyes.
“Oh.”
“So um, everypony,” Vi started pointing to her folks as if there were other ponies in the room for some reason, “This is my mom. Mom, this is Lyra, her wife Bonbon, Meep, Cole, and this is Octy.”
“It’s nice to meet you all, especially you Miss Melody.” her mother greeted with a polite nod. “You may call me Star, or Cluster, you’re family. Everypony else, please address me by my full name.”
Octavia nodded politely, “Er, Is your full name Star Cluster or Cluster Star?”
Star stopped speaking for a moment, then looked to her husband, “I have no idea, do you remember?”
“Faust no! Look girls we’ve been using pet names or been called by honorifics and titles for… well millennia. Buck it, Let’s just say it’s Star Cluster that sounds more sexy.” The Count finished with a laugh.
“You remember your name!” Lyra accused.
“Yes, but I have to sign it all the bloody time. I should get a stamp…” he moaned miming a hoof cramp, “Anyways, everypony dig in. The main course is on it’s way. I think you’ll like it. The Unhallow Glade is home to ambulatory carnivorous plants, quite dangerous to hunt, but also rather delicious when steamed or roasted. I’ve been told by griffons it’s similar to beef in flavor so if you were ever curious about meats, you’ll know soon enough.”
Well, that would be a rather interesting experience. I had always wondered what flavors a carnivore experienced when-
Lyra gasped, “So I did see something through the fog!”
“What?” Star asked in confusion. “I dont think so. We have a full flight on watch every night keeping them penned up in the woods to the north. There are wards and other protective measures… Dear, did you send out some servants to be spooky again?” She asked giving Damsire an amused smile.
“... Maybe…” He sighed.
Star rolled her eyes, “Please tell me you didn’t have somepony do the dramatic lightning again. That damages so many roofing tiles it-”
“I didn’t. Thunderbolt is sick this week anyways.” The Count lamented.
I decided to interrupt. “Er, pardon me, but you said Celestia knows you’re, well you. How come the general public doesn't know about you and well, true vampires. Is there a national security concern?”
The Count nodded, and levitated a silver glass up to his lips to take a drink of something that was not a port noir vintage. It was a wine, but I had figured him for a port type of stallion.
“Sure. How about I tell you girls about the family history, then you share a little about yourselves.” He leaned back, tipping his throne a small ways as well, “Well, back in sixty six…”
Okay Lyra, you are sitting at a table with the father of all vampires! He’s about to tell you his ‘story’ which could be total ponyfeathers. If it’s legit, you can accept Vi and move on. If it’s not, you gotta remember it perfectly and accurately so you pick it apart later after writing it down. It’s going to take all of your willpower, but mouth shut, ears perked. I know you can do it Lyra, and I’ll imagine a little chibi Bonnie cheerleader to help motivate you.
I imagined a little chibi bonbon in a cheerleading outfit. Then a kinda chibi bonnie in a normal cheerleader's outfit. Then a not at all chibi Bonnie in a fetishized cheerleader's outfit. Then a somehow even sexier Bonnie laying in bed atop a discarded cheerleader's outfit, beckoning me to come and-
Dammit brain! Focus! Also, remember to get Bonnie a cheerleader's outfit.
The Count cleared his throat and began to tell his story. “By sixty six, I mean eleven sixtysix in the Classical Era, just so you don't confuse it with all the other sixty sixes. Anyways, Starswirl, my brother and I were some of Equestria’s best mages and there was something of a changeling problem. Er- No offence Meep, this is the Crusades I’m talking about after all.”
“The what?” Meep asked curiously.
“The Changeling Crusades led by High Queen Phyla. Did your hive teach you about those? They are a bit important to your people’s history.” He asked.
“I… I don’t know. I’ve been using a life extending trick, but it turns out that it um, sort of destabilizes older memories. Sorry.” Meep informed.
Yeah, meaning her humans intel was completely unreliable… No! Bad Lyra, vampires now, humans later!
“Ah! Ta’chrik’s Chrono Warp.” The count nodded knowingly, “That will mess with you pretty bad from what I understand. Regardless, at the time, Changeling attacks like the Canterlot invasion were common place, only the Queens of the day actually knew how to fight and command armies.
“It wasn’t your species fault, ponies had just destabilized them pretty harshly by destroying the overmind which had been controlling them. The Queens couldn’t handle working without another’s orders so they elected a High Queen to rule everyone and she was a real tyrant. They don’t make them like that anymore and thank Faust for it.
“So with all the fighting going on every few months or so, the King, er- This is Pre-Celestia, we had a King then. Anyways, the King asked Starswirl, my brother, and I to try and work out a hex we could use to ensure changelings could feed without harming ponies. He wanted to try and capture changelings as much as possible and integrate them into society to mitigate the enemy's numbers and to prove to the Queens out species could co-exist.
“We were having a very hard time with it too, this was before Changelings evolved remote feeding, they had to actually bite you back then. Since we were totally stumped, and well, we were all rather young and stupid, instead of old and slightly less stupid, so we decided to test a theory of the day.
“Back then a lot of philosophers believed in the Dionysus Method, which states that some problems simply cannot be solved while sober because your mind is thinking using normal logic, preconceptions, and so on. We figured we would give it a shot before saying we couldn’t do it.”
That actually made a good amount of sense to me. I had some great ideas while buzzed. It would probably be bad if you tried it completely smashed off your plot though.
The count shook his head and laughed, “So one weekend we get completely wasted and thus was the anti-art of Drunk Thaumaturgy born! Also we turned me into a vampire, my brother into an axe crazy litch, and Starswirl, the lucky bastard, gained the ability to see the flow of time. So, my brother and I, now evil, powerful mages, and supernaturally powerful had a bit of a well… Bloody rampage the likes of which have not been seen since that stallion accidentally burned a one of a kind tome of lore in front of Princess Twilight.”
Everypony winced. That had been one of the most terrible things I had ever seen in my life. Thank Celestia Luna had another copy…
“Ooo… Right you six live in Ponyville. My condolences. Anyways, my brother and I spent a few thousand years doing whatever the hell we wanted to. We split up eventually, he went north seeking ‘pure darkness’ or some crap like that, while I stuck around here and started playing a more subtle game of havoc.
“I’m not too proud of those days, please understand, I was completely mad. I managed to guise myself as a normal pony and wormed my way into ruling this keep and my title by backstabbing my way up the ranks of the kingdom this used to be a part of. It was… huh… Buck it, I became a count of Somewhereia!”
I couldn’t help but giggle at his joke. He gave me a smile and took another swig from his chalice. “So since Somewhereia was ruled over by a rather stupid earth pony, and no I’m not being racist, I mean this guy was so inbred he looked like a sourdough bun. King Bronco, the Randomly Biased, as we unaffectionately called him, decided to declare war on Equestria. You know, the bigger, more powerful, guarded by super powerful mages nation that encompassed us.
“I was crazy too, so that sounded like fun! And I was damn good at it to. Held out a whole fourteen years longer than anypony else did!”
Star nodded, blushing lightly, “He would run out into battle all on his own. It was incredible. You should do that more often.”
“I would my dear, but unfortunately, there’s a lack of things to run out and fight these days. My enjoyment of a good physical challenge aside, at the end of that time I faced Celestia herself. Now that was an epic battle! The sky shook! Seas dried up! Cat’s and Dogs cohabitated! The very earth itself-”
“She just walked up and blasted him point blank with the Elements as an opening attack.” Star said taking a sip of her wine.
The Count gave her a wounded look, “Really? Do- do you have to stab my pride like that?”
“When it means you lie to family to seem more awesome, yes, I do.” Star said curtly.
He sighed and muttered into his chalice, “You’re lucky you have nice flanks.”
Bon-bon and I shared an amused look and silent laugh. Yep, they were a happy functional married couple! No sarcasm.
“Ask her how to get flanks like that later.” Bon-bon mouthed to me before going back to looking at the Count as he resumed speaking.
“So yeah, I got my plot handed to me by a whippersnapper because she had a linear coherent love canon of doom, and that snapped me out of my madness.” He said bitterly, “Now, I had done a lot of evil things in my day. I mean, I’m a buck-mothering vampire overlord! But I felt awful about everything I had done. I had spawned a thousand other vampires, created a species of blood drinking ponies I had thought would be forever outcasts, and caused a lot of suffering.
“So in restitution for my crimes, I asked Celestia for permission to create Hollow Shades out of my holdings. In exchange for allowing me to live and an equal position in her court, I vowed to run my fiefdom as a refuge for the outcasts, a place for monsters to go to for help. Think of my lands like a supernatural creature rehab center. There are rules for those who live here, none of whom are normal, but all of whom only wish for a peaceful existence.”
Huh, that was a good story but there was one hole in it. A hole my brain demanded I pick at with a burning fury the likes of which only Bon-bon had seen that one time I thought she was hiding a book of human lore from me.
“That’s cool and all, but if this is a rehab community for monsters, why the hay do you have it all old B horror movie?” I demanded.
“Oh bite me! It’s cool!” The count protested in a way to honest tone rolling his eyes.
“Huh… Seems legit.” I said sitting down and taking my first bite of salad.
Right so, her dad was definitely not lying. Well, at least when he did his wife smacked him down a peg. Vi was okay in my book again. As long as she didn't bite me.
“Wait wait wait!” I exclaimed in incredulous shock. “The cape, the spooky castle of death, and the cursed rain, the huge oil painting, all the cliche vampire stuff… you have because it’s cool?”
“Damn strait!” Damsire proclaimed, “Just you watch, three more centuries and this will pop back into fashion. I’ll be the coolest dude ever! For like, two hundred years. I know what I like and I’m sticking too it.”
Huh I hadn’t thought of that. He had to have seen a ton of different trends over time… “Huh… That’s an interesting perspective. You’ve gotten to see how everything has been. The whole march of progress! That has to be awesome!”
He shook his head. “Not always. It can improve or decline, and it’s almost ever better for everyone over all. This is one of the best times to be though. I just wish they would stop repressing herds and stallion couples. Those two groups have had a really sucky thousand years. Also non-arcane tech has fallen out of favor again despite it’s benefits… You win some you lose some.”
“Oh… Well it can't suck living for that long can it?” I asked shyly. I had never asked Meep that question, I mean sure she hadn't lived nearly as long but she could. It would totally suck to just have misery compound.
“No not at all! In general things trend upwards, and you make all sorts of new friends as time goes by and eventually, you might meet a few people to spend forever with. There’s a community of immortals on Equis… Though, well, you do have to beware the one rule of immortals.” He replied with a cheerful grin.
“What’s that?” Octavia asked curiously.
“There is always a bigger fish. So don’t step on anything’s hooves. Now then, my turn for questions. Ms. Aquafresh, do me the honors of a blurb or two about yourself.” The Count asked swishing his glass about in his magic.
Ack! Spotlight! Umm, “Uh, I clean teeth for a living.” Oh ponyfeathers that sounded pathetic! “I mean, I’m an orthodontist. It’s been kind of a life passion. I know it’s kinda weird that I’m not pursuing a job related to my cutiemark, but well it’s hard to have a job that involved being on time for everything but imparts no other real skill. I mean, sure, delivery services, but I wanted more out of life. Also I figured I would need to be some kinda scientist to catch Meep’s attention.”
Star chuckled and looked over at best buggy. “Is that true?”
“No. I um, I’m not good with social stuff. I really only worked out she was into me by luck and about thirteen hours before the Canterlot Invasion.” Meep admitted, cheeks bioluminescing with a light blush. “She probably thought of that because I’m a scientist myself. An astrophysicist to be specific. I helped to pioneer the field in fact. Stars are sort of my whole reason for using Ta’chrik’s Chrono Warp in the first place. I’m surprised you know the name of that trick.”
The count shrugged, “You tend to pick up lore as you come across it. Besides, I am the product of your species essence, dark magic, and sorcery. Vampires are descended from changelings in a way. I investigated your species quite thoroughly to try and find a cure or a work around for my curse. Nothing doing I’m afraid, but that’s fine because when you accept what you are, it’s really not a problem. Quick question, how old are you?”
“About four hundred, why?” Meep asked.
“I see, and how long have you been away from a hive?” He asked arching his brows.
That seemed like an odd question.
“Um, all but like seventeen of them.” Meep replied in a confused and concerned tone.
“That’s fascinating!” The Count sat back in his chair and stroked his chin with a hoof briefly. “You should have metamorphosed into a queen by now. Have you been eating properly?”
“I, what?” Meep demanded incredulously.
“Agreed!” I exclaimed.
“Humm… Later this evening how about you come with me to my library?” He offered at last. “You seem to have forgotten or not been told much about your own species. Suffice to say changelings propagate their territory when a changeling is separated from a hive and eats enough. At which point she becomes a young queen and can start a new hive. As you have a spouse, you should have enough love in your system within a few years tops.
“Now then, Ms. Heartstrings, if you would so kindly have your turn?”
Lyra nodded. “I’m just a musician, I play the lyre, mostly as a pun based on my name.” She said with a grin.
“Yes I noticed your name. I honestly didn’t think you were a pony at first. It’s a very unpony like name. Though not in a bad way.” Star said in a slightly less than totally sincere voice.
“Thanks! I picked it myself. I basically just play music in the parks and help ponies with odd jobs and stuff. It’s a simple life but I like it.” Lyra said evasively.
Damsire nodded, a smirk plastered on his face. “Mhm, yes… So where did you pick up Mage Meadowbrook’s Ablative Shield? I saw you fighting during the Canterlot Invasion. That was rather impressive, especially since the tome is quite rare.”
Lyra’s eyes drooped. “Oh, well… I’m a bit of an amateur archeologist and anthropologist. But that’s just a hobby.”
Bon-bon rolled her eyes, shook her head and mouthed, “Watch this.” to the count before asking, “That reminds me, you're quite old. Do you have any possible human artifacts in-”
Lyra’s eyes didn’t just widen, they exploded. “Oh my gosh! I didn’t even think about that! Do you have a private collection? You lived way further back than I’ve ever managed to dig! You could totally have-”
“Whoa! Hold yourself there Miss!” The count chuckled. “Back in the day Humanology was a quite popular hobby, but I never participated in it. I was more into practical thaumaturgy. Biomancy specifically. There may be a book or three in my library though, feel free to come with me after dinner.”
Like magic, the doors opened and the two servants from before wheeled in a large cart with a gold platter on it. Again, with incredible speed, quiet, and skill they dished out a serving to everypony, taking the old plates away in the same motion.
“How long have they been doing this for?” I wondered out loud.
“One thousand years as of last week miss.” The one Vi had called Light earlier said, flashing me a fanged grin.
“Oh… I guess it makes sense all the servants would be vampires too.” I commented.
“Not all of them, but a good chunk.” Vi commented. “If there hasn’t been any changes we’ve got vampires, a few lamias, some normal ponies, a couple kelpies… Huh, I know I’m forgetting something…”
Her father nodded, “That’s about right. There are many more creatures in the town, but I prefer my castle to be staffed with people who won't alarm visiting dignitaries. How about you Ms. Bon-bon, will you do me the honor?”
“Certainly.” She smiled briefly. “I run a small specialty candy shop in Ponyville. It’s hard to compete with Pinkie Pie, but fortunately I have found a few niche markets. She doesn't serve much more than pastries and general types of candies. So I do things like jawbreakers, chocolates, erotic treats, and candied fruits and nuts. I do most of the work myself, though I do have some help from a couple apprentice candymakers.”
“I see, and how did you meet your wife?” The Count asked.
“Why is that important?” Bon-bon asked politely.
“Because I can read lips, and if you like, I can show you the spell you wanted to know… Or rather, show her. Call it a fair trade. I’m a sucker for romance.” The count said with a wink.
Star facehooved. Everypony groaned, except for Lyra who snickered and threw the count an ‘air hoof’.
He flashed her a smile, “I like you! Quick, throw a pun at me!”
Lyra didn’t even blink. “I would but I wouldn't want to offend you by mis-stake.”
“Heaven’s help me! He’s found a rival!” Star groaned putting her hooves over her eyes.
The count nodded slowly, as if appraising a fine wine. “A steak pun. That’s a rare medium, well done!”
“Octavia! Save us from a pun off!” Meep begged, looking pleadingly into Octavia’s eyes.
“That was a pun?” Lyra asked. “I don’t get it…”
“Yeah, I really don’t either.” Octavia said slowly.
The count’s ears drooped. “Awww… well at least the werewolves and gryphons get it. Why don’t you go ahead and tell me about yourself Miss Melody? After Bon-bon finishes telling me how she met her wife of course.”
“Oh that’s not a big mystery,” Bonnie laughed. “Vi started a gaming group in high school, Lyra and I met there and are that one teen couple who actually stuck together. Mostly because I like troublemakers. Go on Octy, It’s your turn.”
Weirdly enough, I was having a lot of fun this evening. Too bad I was going to have to politely pretend to like the entree. Beef flavored moving plant just didn’t sound appetizing.
Up until this point I had been a bit irked that everypony had just accepted Vi for what she was after deceiving everypony this whole time. I mean, seriously, aside from Cole and Vi everypony in our group had given me the could shoulder for a week. It had taken nearly a eight weeks to be one hundred percent accepted. The fact that everyone was cool with Vi in minutes, that hurt.
But I let it go. Buck it. I wasn’t going to be petty over something stupid. Besides, ponies, herd logic. Vi was a part of the herd and a pony so she was okay. Can't help biology. Unless you’re a changeling. Also they are my friends. I dont like being mad at my friends.
Upside of this whole thing was I would get to rib them forever over this! As for my personal feelings about Vi… Well I’m not a big enough hypocrite to be mad at somepony for doing what I do. Unless they do Cole without asking me first. Then I’ll be mad.
Octavia cleared her throat. “I-I’m sorry did you say werewolves just now?”
The count nodded, “Yes. We have a few packs of them. Nice enough as long as you keep them fed. Don’t worry, none of them will bite you. That’s not how they turn somepony anyways. May I ask how you and my daughter started dating? I’d like to hear your side of it.”
Octavia gulped and nodded, “Um, sure. I… I started dating Vinyl after I came back from a reform school my parents made me attend. I was a bit of a… rebellious filly. Rather uncultured. I went to far one week and my parents decided I needed some discipline…
“Er- when I got back home I returned to school. I very desperately needed my old friends and they welcomed me back quickly enough once they recognized me. Vinyl expressed an interest in me shortly thereafter. I’ve come to understand she enjoys my… refined persona.” Octavia smiled nervously.
“Heh, that and your beautiful coat.” Vi commented flirtatiously.
“It’s just gray.” Tavi dismissed.
“It’s a lovely steel gray with light white highlights in places which make it look like you are glowing. Slightly darker lines of gray define your features and give you a very distinguished look, as if you had a glamor charm cast on you.” Star commented, taking a sip of her wine.
The count nodded, “Your mane has similar properties, but is a rich velvety black.”
“Vampire vision, love.” Vi commented with a wink.
Octavia blushed such a deep shade of pink I swore her fur actually changed color. “R-really?”
“Yes!” All three Vampires said in unison.
“Look, you are smart, fun, and hot, or my Vi wouldn’t have dated you. Deal.” Count Damsire said in a matter of fact tone. “Now more story!”
“Er, well I um…” Octavia cleared her throat again, “My parents are rather old school in terms of what forms of relationships they approve of. Traditional marriage is the only one they-”
“They only approve of polyamorous relationships composed of one mare and nine stallions?” The count asked sincerely. “That’s really rare today.”
Octavia shook her head. “N-no… Sorry I forgot your age. They are strictly for the marriage of one mare to one stallion and against everything else… To the point of threatening to cut me off financially and give the family business to somepony else if I didn’t stop liking mares.
“I- I couldn’t say no to Vinyl though. She just felt… right.” Suddenly her eyes narrowed, and her head swiveled to Vinyl in that patented ‘I’m suspicious and ready to be mad’ way of hers. “Did you use vampire powers to make me love you?”
Vi laughed, almost falling out of her chair. “Not the ones you are thinking of no! I dont have any mental powers. I did use my strength and speed to impress you though. But I like to think my music did most of the work.”
“Good. I don’t have to smack you.” Octavia harrumphed. A moment later she smiled, “Your music did do a lot to get my attention. I had only ever liked classical music and rock before. I still hate most electronica, but when you play it it’s… right. It’s like a proper symphony and not just noise.”
“Of course it is.” Star commented proudly, “She’s a musical prodigy. Vinyl has been writing songs since she was fourteen.”
“Yeah, but they weren't any good till I got a hold of an old sequencer. I’m okay on the organ but I just can’t make them dance like I can with keyboards and turntables.” Vi commented thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t say I’m a prodigy though. Talented, sure, I mean duh, I got the butt mark for it. But that’s it.”
“Speaking of music, what song is that on the nameplate of your portrait?” Octavia asked in a tone which implied she had been holding on to the question all night.
“My theme song.” The count answered with a small smile. “Here, hold on. Renfield! Play my music.”
Immediately the air was filled with the sound of a scratchy record playing a piece of pipe organ music. From Octavia’s vigorous headdesk, I assumed it was a famous one.
“How did I not recognize Trottcota and Fugue in D minor?” She moaned into the table.
“Why do you have theme music?” I asked. It was far more important to me to know than the plate of plant matter in front of me that was literally being wasted.
“Why don’t you?” He counter wryly.
That was a good point. “Huh… Colegate, I need theme music.”
She rolled her eyes and grinned at me, shaking her head.
The Count turned his attention back to Octavia, “Ms. Melody, would you say you love my daughter?”
She quickly sat up, and nodded firmly. “Yes, with all of my heart.”
“Even the left ventricle?” He teased in a beautifully stupid way.
Octavia smiled and nodded politely ignoring the dad joke. “I’ve forgiven her for not telling me she was a vampire. It’s very clear to me that I love her more than everything else in the world.”
“Awesome!” The Count stood up and clapped his hooves. Servants quickly entered the dining hall from every doorway.
He cleared his throat and proclaimed in a loud voice so all could hear, “As the master of this castle, the Lord of these lands, and a Count of Equestria, I hereby pronounce my daughter Vinyl… Scratch, and her beloved Octavia, mare and mare. Nopony is to breath a word of their union until the bride’s awful parents have passed by whatever means that so happens. My estate will pass along the legal benefits of your union through discrete channels to your home for your enjoyment.”
Everypony stared at him in stunned silence. Octavia and Vinyl were a league above us in their shock. I do not think a pony could look more surprised if that was their special talent.
Meanwhile, her father slipped a piece of parchment out from under the table. “Here’s your marriage license, it’s been pre-officiated by Celestia herself. Go ahead and sign it. I’ve arranged for this to be completely legal, but discreet. You will not lose your business Ms. Melody.
“Why don’t you two love birds sign this, then go spend your honeymoon in VI’s old room. It’s the highest room in the tallest tower, you can’t miss it.”
I was sitting next to Octavia, a mere three feet away. I can tell you with certainty that I had to regenerate my eardrums after her delighted squeal. I also swear she made a shockwave as she pounced Vi’s dad to give him one of the most grateful hugs I have ever seen in my long life.
I was unconscious for the rest of the weekend. I woke up an hour before we had to leave, and that entire hour was spent with Vinyl’s father doing tests. Apparently I was perfectly healthy for a vampire.
While I could still eat meat like a werewolf, and my hunting mode took the form of my previous wolf form, all other traces of that curse had been removed. While I was sad I wouldn’t get to fly, at least I was truly a person again. The only thing to do now as to go home and practice my new abilities with Vi.
Well, I also needed to work through controlling my new… urges. I had expected wanting to drink blood. I had not expected the more… seductive urges. I now understood Vinyl a lot better, and maybe felt just a touch bad for all the times I turned down her propositions.
“Okay, does everypony have everything?” Vi asked in her normal speaking volume.
Ow! Why was everything so loud?
“Yep!” Lyra said with a smile.
She was about twenty feet away. I could see the little lines and bits of food on her teeth. That was just unsettling.
Cole nodded and gave Meep a playful elbow. “I made sure she didn’t forget to pack herself.”
Huh, even with vampire vision Cole’s smile was perfect.
I rubbed a temple with my hoof. Everything was too loud!
“You doing okay Octy?” Vinyl asked with a frown.
“Is everything always this loud to you?” I asked.
“Huh? Oh, I’m sure you'll get used to it soon.” She laughed.
Bon-bon shook her head and walked forwards into the middle of our group. “Okay, so two things. First, why the buck are we not all getting bit? It’s apparently nothing but perks!”
Vi sighed and shook her head. “Look, I’ll turn you later if you want me too. But not now. It’s going to take about three months to get Octy totally in control of herself. I live with her, so I can do that. If you want to be a vampire, cool! But you will need to either wait till I can focus on teaching you or stay here for a few months so you don't accidentally kill somepony in a blood lust.”
Cole nodded to herself, “That sounds like a good reason. Lyra, is that a good reason?”
“Yes. Very good.” Lyra commented.
“Thank you Lyra.” Cole finished.
I had to smile at their little back and forth antics. It was good to know they accepted my decision. Or well, had completely expected Vi would turn me at any rate.
Bonnie nodded in agreement. “Okay, that answers that. So next thing. Meep was a changeling the entire time, Vi is a vampire, and Octavia was a freaking werewolf!”
“What are you saying?” I asked curiously.
“I’m saying that It’s pretty damn clear that we all have something we are hiding from each other. Why don’t we all come clean right now and get it all over with?” Bon-bon asked. Then she bit her lip nervously, gulped, I heard her heartbeat speed up, and she announced. “I’ll go first.”
“What?” Meep, Vinyl, and I exclaimed together.
“I didn’t actually go to college to get a business license.” Bon-bon admitted.
Lyra rolled her eyes. “Seriously? That’s the big secr- Wait where were you going all the time then?” She asked giving Bon-bon and causing glare. "You were visiting a human version of me went you!?"
Bon-bon rolled her eyes. “I was working for the Special Homeland Intelligence and Espionage Logistics Department, as a part of a special team called M.A.T.”
There was a half second of silence before Meep muttered, “They need a shorter name for that.”
“They’re working on it.” Bonnie added. “So um… I was kinda hunting monsters and tracking people who might be summoning or controlling them. I always wondered why we were told there were no vampires or werewolves. Guess I know now.
“They retired me when a mission went bad. Remember that time I was it the hospital Lyra? Yeah that. After that my cover was compromised… That’s why I really wanted to move to Ponyville. Kinda had the mob after me. I don’t anymore, and it’s completely safe now… But, I used to be a Special Agent.”
Lyra blinked twice. “Really?”
“Yes.” Bon-bon answered.
“You’re not making that up because you want to look cool since your friends are supernatural creatures or shape shifters?” Lyra demanded.
“No. And if you don’t believe me I can prove it. We could stop in Canterlot and I could get us a tour of the Special Forces barracks.” Bonbon offered.
“No, I believe you.” Lyra sighed. “I’m just pissed because now I have to tell everypony my thing or everypony will just find out in some convoluted way in a few months!”
Seriously? Were none of us just normal ponies? I shook my head, “Okay, so what is it?”
“You know the conspiracy theorists I keep in touch with?” Lyra started, “Well we’re actually an Equestria wide organization dedicated to finding the truth behind everything. Like, literally everything. We’re called B.A.R.D.-”
Bon-bon gasped, “The Brotherhood of Adventurers, Rogues, and Detectives actually exists?”
“Yep! It’s not just a foals club or some college pony thing. It’s a real organization, and we actually do have a hidden library of lore. I’m head of the Ponyville chapter. Most of my um… shenanigans, are from when I’ve been working to uncover things. Currently we're investigating the Everfree forest to try to find out what’s really causing it to fall to chaos. Humans are my pet project for the B.A.R.D.” Lyra finished.
“Okay.” Vinyl said slowly starting to point to everypony in turn starting with herself, “So, Vampire, changeling, former werewolf now a vampire, spy, adventurer…” She stopped with her hoof pointed at Colegate.
Everypony turned to look at the blue mare, wondering what she might have been hiding from us this whole time. Colegate shuffled her hooves nervously, bit her lip in worry, gulped and announced, “I… was adopted!”
Everypony facehooved in unison.
“Nothing else?” Meep asked. “Were you like, the daughter of Faust or something? Sent to Equis to bring better dentistry to us mortals?”
“Nope!” Cole laughed. “Just adopted. But since everypony else shared a deep secret… I um… I slowly doctored Meep’s photos of her Twinkleshine form to be more attractive over five years. That way when she made sure she was keeping up the disguise she was implementing the changes I made. Originally her flanks were more squared, and her nose didn’t have that little heart shaped patch of slightly darker fur between the nostrils… I um… mostly wanted to see if you would notice the changes.”
Everypony cracked up into laughter. After five minutes of laughing, once the tears were cleared out of our eyes, it was clear our friendship had survived the weekend and was far stronger for it.
Vi got up, shook her head and said, “Right then my changeling, former werewolf now a vampire, spy, adventurer, and normal unicorn friends, let’s go home before our collective weirdness has Cole mutate into an alien or something.”
“Yeah!” Lyra laughed, “With my luck she’s actually a transformed human and just doesn't know it.”
“Oh, you are so not going to start spying on me to test that theory!” Cole objected.
Yep, everything was back to normal for us. Which apparently was one sixth of our collective group.
“Lyra, you can administer crackpot science on the train. Let’s get going.” I chuckled.
"Ponyfeatuers!" Meep shouted suddenly, making me flinch. "I almost forgot!"
"Forgot what?" VI asked in confusion.
"Octavia!" Meep beamed a mischievous smile at me. "The count wanted you to know that when Vinyl was a filly she called her dad-"
"Don you dare!" Vi shouted pointing her hoof threateningly.
"Daddypookins." Meep finished.
Vi groaned and held her hoof in her hands as everypony giggled. Myself included.
"Ha!" the Count's voice echoed from somewhere in the castle. "Thanks for that Meep!"
"Thank you for a wonderful weekend Daddypookins-in-law!" I called, making Vi give me a betrayed look.
I smiled, leanded over and gave her a loving kiss. "Don't worry hon, you're still the coolest mare I know."
I picked up my bags, marveled at how light they felt to me now, and headed for the cart, whistling happily.
~~~~~ End ~~~~~
Author's Note
So, did Vinyl return the wayward daughter of Don Tequila to her home. And having no further concern, she and her companions sought adventure in the West. Many adventures and shenanigans did Vinyl have. Honor and respect were heaped upon her name and, in time, she became a princess by her own hoof... And this story shall also be told.
My dad, simultaneously the most awesome dad ever, and the worst dad ever. Plotting an entire scheme, forcing me through my literal worst nightmare, manipulating me through my friends. All so he could marry me to Octy in a way her parents couldn't find out about!
Just, Luna’s bucking tail, I need to quote literature to describe tonight. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. That’s how good and bad it was. I used something they taught in high school, for the first time ever, thanks to tonight.
After prying Octy off dad so I could kiss the bride, I excused us and started to lead my wife up to my old room. Wife. Buck yeah! Suck it Mr. and Ms. Melody!
I wanted to do the whole, carry bride over threshold thing, but well this wasn’t our home. Also even with my strength and endurance, I wasn’t going to carry Octy on two hooves through like 800 yards of hallway and up 13 staircases. Instead we just slowly walked together, side by side, officially an item at last.
I may not share dad’s decoration sense, but he did make the place look awesome. Long white marble veneer hallways lined with black, red, and gold tapestries. Paintings hung at just the right intervals so the art didn't distract from other decor, silver candelabras and sconces, the occasional shield or weapon mounted on a wooden thingy. The plus rug running down the length of the halls with it’s intricate embroidery.
All that was just crap compared to Octavia’s smile. What I needed was some way to just paint our bedroom back home with that smile. Sure, that’s kinda creepy, but I would never see a more beautiful room.
I pointed off to a hallway to our left, “That one. It’s going to be a bit of a climb. We need to go up four stories.”
“Why is your room even up that high?” Octavia asked stepping over to offer me a quick hug.
“Because dad.” I chuckled. “Highest room, tallest tower.”
She snorted. “You know, I think I’m starting to like his sense of humor.”
“That’s good! ‘Cuz you could be stuck with him as a father-in-law forever. You know, if you want.” I teased.
Octavia froze and gave me that look which meant something like ‘Was that even Equish?’, “I’m sorry, what you mean, dear?”
There were times I wondered if I just couldn’t communicate, or if Octy just didn’t get context sometimes. This was one of them.
“I mean, we could go up to my room, have epic wedding sex, and then I could turn you, and we could literally live happily ever after.” I gave her a grin and extended my fangs to emphasise my point.
“Why not turn me first?” Octavia asked looking at my fangs in a judging kinda way before based on her eyes softening deciding I was cute with them.
“Because well, you’d be totally dead for like, a day. I’m not into that kinda thing, and it’s our honeymoon so you know, obligations.” I mentioned. Then I winced, “That sounded bad, I mean you come back, but-”
Octavia held up a hoof. “I understand. I… I suppose that wouldn’t bother me. It would just be like a really long nap, right?”
I shrugged. “No idea. Born like this, remember? A few friends said it was like waking up with a clear head after sleeping off a hangover. But well, that’s not something I personally know.”
“I’ll trust their word on it.” Octavia smiled and started walking up the stairs.
I quickly followed along behind. Waiting for an answer from her. It would suck if she never let me turn her. I dont think I would ever find somepony I loved as much ever again.
Suddenly she stopped mid stride, making me almost slam into her plot. “Celestia! We really would be together forever wouldn’t we?”
I nodded, “Well, yeah. Barring accidents or something like the Bell Mint incident.”
Octavia raised a curious eyebrow.
“Just a wannabe Slayer. Thought she could take us all on with a whip. What I meant was somepony could try to kill us. So, basically yeah, barring a really bizarre accident or someone actually hunting us, we would literally live forever.” I offered her a reassuring smile.
“You didn’t kill her did you?” Octavia asked concerned.
I shook my head quickly. “No. One of our servants beaned her over the head with a frying pan. She brought a freaking whip, to fight supernatural monsters! She’s lucky one of the lamia’s didn't just eat her on principle.”
“Forever is a long time…” Octavia mused thoughtfully.
“Yeah, but I’ll be with you for it. And um, no pressure, but if you say no I’ll be without you for it. That would be my personal Tartarus.” Man that sounded way too manipulative… I need to take some pressure off. “You can always change your mind later. Once turned you age or deage to your prime before waking.”
Octavia shuddered, “Celestia’s sun! I just thought of living to be an old mare with you staying- How the hay did I not notice you don't look a day over twenty? Nevermind, just imagine me waving a hoof to tell you to turn down your damn music.”
She shook her head, turned around and pulled me close. “I think… I think I’ll let you do it. Just give me the next few hours to think about it.”
My ears drooped and s frown creased my cheeks.
Octavia laughed and resumed climbing the stairs. “We can still do that while I think about it!”
“Sweet!” I went ahead and jumped up the stairs a few body lengths to lead the way. Which gave me an idea. “Hey, hon… So since you know I’m a vampire now, that opens a few things up we can do.”
“Like what?” Octavia asked with a light blush.
I gave her a teasing smile then hopped up onto the wall, clinging to it with my supernatural grip. “I can climb walls and ceilings, and I’m strong enough to carry you anywhere. I don't actually get tired, I’ve been faking that. Don’t really need to sleep either but I can if I want to and I normally do because it means I can cuddle you for hours. I’m sure you can get the idea.”
Her face lit up like a hearthwarming fire, burning away her refined lady’s mask for a moment to show that spunky mare beneath it. Then she cleared her throat and resumed climbing the stairs looking as dignified as she could. Man I loved her for that split classy, fun, nature of hers!
“Yes, I do get it.” She said, her tail flicking eagerly.
We chatted the entire rest of the way to my room, but I couldn’t remember any of it. I was too excited. As we finally reached my room I threw the doors open with my magic. The round big open circular room was just how I left it.
Big round bed in the middle, black silk cushions everywhere, all my old posters, everything. It was all clean too, somepony had recently dusted in here. Dad really did plan everything out.
There was one thing out of place, a large brown leather tome lay atop my bed. “Okay hon, why don’t you get comfy while I see what this book is then open the curtains. My room has an epic view of the whole fief. It should make a pretty awesome backdrop.”
“Sure.” Octavia gave me a kiss before swiftly climbing into bed.
I trotted over to the book and picked it up. A small note stuck to the cover caught my eye.
Vi,
While wedding gifts are customary, your father assumed a gift of a wedding fulfilled that obligation. I disagree. I penned this volume so you can easily cast any spell directly from this book, and the last page holds a spell which will cancel any of the others out should something go wrong or you desire to undo one. Enjoy! Just don’t let anypony else outside those you trust find it. My work is still illegal in Equestria as far as I am aware.
I frowned in confusion and glanced at the book’s title. ‘Sensual Biomancy: Shaping the Body for Romantic Encounters’. Ew! Sure, that was awesome, but my mom invented this stuff!
“What is it?” Octy asked with a smile.
I gave her a nervous grin. “Er… Look my mom’s always wanted me to have a really great love life so-”
Octavia facehooved. “Erotic spellbook?”
“Yeah.” I admitted.
“That’s not quite appropriate… But it is rude to waste a gift. Why don’t we at least look through it together?” she offered.
I gently set the book down so I could grip the curtains with my magic. “Okay… Maybe I can forget who wrote it.”
I simply yanked the curtains open, tying them would take up time which I wanted to spend doing somepony. As the curtains fell open revealing the double glass doors which led to the balcony the moon was perfectly framed by the window. “Hey cool! Romantically aligned moon!”
“Really? That’s ni-” Octavia yelped mid sentence.
Assuming one of the way to massive spiders had gotten into the castle I wheeled around to squash it to find Octavia flat against the wall in panic! “What?”
“Why is the moon full! It’s not full until tomorrow!” Octavia whimpered, her eyes shrinking to pinpricks.
I gave her a confused look, “Its part of the curse, it’s always full here.” A heartbeat passed, “Why is that such a-”
Hold on a bucking second! Octavia was never around on any given full moon. She always got back sometime in the middle of the next day and immediately showered. She never mentioned anything about those ‘concerts’, and I never herd anypony else mention one.
I fell to the ground laughing. “Oh my Luna! You’re a werewolf! We lived together for, like, more than a decade and never bucking noticed each-”
Octavia fell over, holding her stomach, whimpering in pain.
“-wait it’s not supposed to hurt… Buck!” I shouted, bolting to the door.
You’re a bucking idiot Vi! She said she had never been to Hollow Shades before. You married a mare with the untreated strain of lycanthropy, she’s going mindless killer on your plot right now.
“Anypony! Wolfsbane and a silver chain! Now!” I screamed down the stairs. Half the staff were also vampires. Most of them probably heard that.
I sprinted back to Octavia. Her tail was beginning to fuse into a single strand, ears slowly reshaping, but no major changes yet. Thank Faust the change is so slow!
I winced and bit my lip. “Hon, I’m really sorry… But I’m going to knock you out. Dad can fix this, it’s what the whole place is for… but I gotta knock you out so you don't hurt somepony.”
I drew back my hoof and let it fly. The crack of hoof on head filled my room. I felt it strike her, both in my hoof and my heart.
When she was all better we were going to have a talk. Then I was probably going to beat the ever loving shit out of somepony. Buck whoever bit my wife.
Skull, throbbing… pain behind ears… Everything hurt. What happened?
I’d changed again. I could feel that bone scraping feeling it always left me with for a few hours. I’d changed and that meant I attacked something. Something must have fought back. It felt like it won.
Oh dear sisters no! I’d been in Vinyl’s room when I changed! I had to know if she was alright!
I felt my eyes peel open. Even that hurt. Didn’t matter, needed to know I hadn’t hurt her. Stupid Octavia! Cursed nights, cliche loving father, of course the nights would always have a full moon!
I tried to sit up, and instantly felt something dig into my chest. Twisting my head I noticed I was chained to a table. In what looked like a castle’s counterpart to Zecora’s hut.
“There we go. I knew it wouldn’t take you long to wake up. You’re a fighter.” I recognized Vinyl’s father's voice. “Dear! She’s awake! Told you it would happen the second you went for a pee!”
I twisted as best I could to see. The Count stood with his back to me, working with a mortar and pestle. The sound of him grinding something in it was painfully sharp. Things never sounded this loud…
“Why am I chained to a table?” I asked, eeping as my voice came out all gravelly.
“Because you are still in your wolf form, and I didn’t know if I could bring your mind back before you returned to normal.” The Count commented. “I’m not unchaining you yet by the way. I don't know how long you will be lucid for. I haven’t treated your strain before.”
I caught sight of my left hoof, or rather paw. I hadn’t ever seen it before. It looked like a dogs, only with much larger claws. “Treat?”
“I really want to make a bone joke… But I won’t be that mean.” The Count chuckled. His grinding paused for a moment, I saw him dump a yellow powder into a bowl, then he began to crush some dried herbs. “This is what Hollow Shades is for Octavia. Manehatten is Equestria’s trade port, Trottingham is her academic heart, Ponyville one of her many breadbaskets, and Hollow Shades is where her monsters go to become people again. While I never thought I would be working with you, I am very happy that I can heal you.”
Vinyl rushed back into the room, arriving in a blur I shouldn’t have been able to make out, but I managed to see her clearly in three places as she ran to my side. “Oh thank Celestia! I was so afraid I hit you too hard! Are you in there?”
I nodded slowly. “You hit me?”
Vi nodded, looking way to sorry about it.
“Good… I… I’ve never been awake like this.” I looked away from her. “I always pick meat out of my teeth…”
“I’m still sorry.” Vi said pulling herself onto the table to kiss my nose. “By the way, you’re adorable right now. Gold eyes really suit you.”
“I’m a monster…” I wined, blushing at the fact that came out as a canine whimper.
Vi bit her lip to stifle back a giggle. “Yeah sure, so am I. Also my dad, my mom, my fillyhood friends, the first mare I liked… We’re people too.”
“Well, not now you’re not.” her dad commented. “But you will be soon. So, Ms. Melody, I need to know where were you bitten? The place it happened, not on your body. I found the scars so I know that already.”
That was actually something I didn’t know myself. “Where was I bitten? I don’t know.”
“Third base!” the count exclaimed, “No but seriously I don’t know where, that’s why I asked you.”
“No I mean where did it bite me. A leg?” I asked.
“It’s not important.” he said in a tone which made me assume it was important. “Let’s just say it’s a location which makes me think whoever turned you needs to be hunted down and slain. It’s not a place someone would bite if they were feral, and you were not told to come here, so you were turned intentionally. Meaning I have to hunt down and likely slay your attacker. It’s my honor bound job.”
Oh. That would be rather lovely! “Headmaster Orange Rose of the Paddock Academy in Trottingham.”
“What?” Vi and her dad asked together.
“He did it. My parents paid him to. It’s how he reforms problem students.” It felt so good to tell the truth to somepony at last. “If the school doesn't beat the behavior into you, he bites you, and uses a hex to change you whenever he wants… till you obey. Then he gives the hex to your parents when you go home.”
“Did I say likely slay?” the count said darkly. “I meant will rip to tiny pieces with my bare hooves.”
“Not if I do it first!” Vi growled her eyes literally glowing red, “We split her parents!”
“Vi, sweetie, we’re not allowed to hurt them. But I’m pretty sure Celestia is, and she won’t like this at all.” the count dumped the things he had been grinding into a small pot and began to stir it together. “Now calm down, we’re curing your wife. Do you know anything about how this hex works? It could interfere with my work.”
“Not a unicorn…” I muttered, it was getting hard to focus on things. I felt really hungry. “I… I think I’m blacking out.”
“Ponyfeathers! Vi, give her the green vial.” The count called.
“Okay, here hon, drink this.” I felt something press against my lips, and swallowed.
“In case you leave us Ms. Melody, I need you to know something.” her father said, sprinkling something which looked suspiciously like saltine cracker bits into the pot. “I can’t remove your curse entirely, that’s not possible. We even tried using the Elements back in the day. What I normally do is modify the curse to allow a werewolf to keep control. But as you are my daughter’s wife, and I think she would ask me to kill her if you ever passed away, we need you able to become a vampire. This is normally not possible.”
“Sounds like… a catch.” I mumbled.
“Yes. If I turn you myself after weakening your were-curse as much as possible, you will be one of us. But the wolf’s blood will always be in you. Rather than a bat’s form, it would be likely you would keep this body as your hunting mode. Though by my educated guess, you would share Vinyl’s abilities in every other respect. A sort of one to nine ratio of wolf to vampire.”
“Huh?” I asked.
Vi gently hugged me as best as she could with me strapped to the table. “It means that instead of doing this-” She closed her eyes, and a pair of large leather bat wings burst from her back, her ears twisted, becoming batlike, her mane and tail became shaggy, and her fangs slid so they poked out even with her mouth closed, “You would be a wolf.”
Hehe! Adorable batty Vi! I tried to move a paw to bat at the batty-bat, but the chain was too tight.
Oh tartarus I was getting really loopy…
“Also, there may be other unexpected twists in your abilities. We can also just reduce your curse in the normal way, but once adjusted, for safety's sake we can’t do it again.” her father said firmly.
“Why?” I asked.
“You would combust if we tried it a second time.” He said in a way to honest tone.
I looked over at Vi. I wanted to be with her now. I couldn’t see that ever changing.
“One vampire please.” I mumbled before blackness took me.
