LPoE Side Stories

“And Oliver, the guns are loaded?”

He didn’t look upset. Adrian wasn’t either, no matter if Moriah and Joseph might find this ritual boring. He’d much rather learn by the car that they weren’t prepared than right before being run down by a pack of wild animals or something. In some ways he was very like Moriah. Neither of them had much control over the magic being a pony had given them.

“Absolutely. Two full clips in each vest, one in each rifle.”

“Remember, they’re a—”

A bright flash blinded the eyes of everypony there and the group raised their forehooves to lessen the glare.

"Whuh?"

When the brightness finally abated, there stood none other than Twilight Sparkle.

Alex was the first to respond. "Princess what are you doin—".

Her question was broken by the loud repeating cracks of lead sent from Moriah's P90 as she emptied her sub-machinegun into the Purple Invader standing in the clearing. Moriah paused only to fumble with another magazine up until Oliver and Cloudy Skies pony-piled on top of her.

Twilight was none the worse for wear and she brushed at the streaks of lead on her coat with her wings and kneaded her velvet ears.

"Ouch, those things are quite loud aren't they," She giggled nervously.

Alex continued to gape at Twilight.

Twilight made a beeline for Alex and adopted a serious look. "Alex." she intoned gravely, as if the world had ended. "They're not called clips, they're called magazines."

There was silence, save the chirps of birds and flowing water in the distance.

"What?" said Alex, unsure whether or not she heard correctly.

"They're not called clips, what you have are loaded magazines." Twilight gestured toward the ground where Moriah's wayward P90 lay by its lonesome.

Silence again met Twilight's claim.

Twilight frowned just slightly. "They're not called clips, they're called magazines." She tentatively repeated, this time a little more slowly as if speaking to a foal. "Clips are used to feed magazines, whereas magazines are used to feed the firearm itself."

Alex brought her hoof to her head. "No, I understood you fine the first time."

"Oh good!" Twilight said cheerfully and clapped her hooves together.

"How— no wait, that's not the question... Princess, why are you even here?"

"Oh! Well you see, I felt this great disturbance in the thaumic fields, as if millions of voices were calling out in pain..."

Alex stared at Twilight flatly.

"Alex!" Twilight cried and grasped Alex's face with her hooves. "Your species is on the precipice of extinction, the last thing you need is to propagate misinformation."

"It's a magazine, not a clip." repeated Twilight.

Alex bat Twilight's hooves away from her. "I get it already! Wait. How would you even know that? Do you even know what a gun is?"

"We have an entire archive of your world's media. When we contacted your world with information about how to shield yourselves from the effects of magic, we agreed to provide them technology in exchange for items of cultural significance from your world."

"At first, we were appalled by the level of violence your media displayed, but once we realized ALL of the media provided pertained to violence and war and about humans defending themselves from hostile alien invaders..." Twilight found something interesting on her hoof. "Anyways, we quickly realized this was just a symbolic expression of friendship!" Twilight smiled.

"Right..." replied Alex, trying to piece together the new information, similar to one might adhere two pieces of rubbing felt against a cat.

One of Alex's ears swiveled to hear the ongoing struggle as Cloudy Sky and Oliver grappled with Moriah on the ground. Oliver had disarmed Moriah and was busy unloading the magazine from her SMG. She could hear Cloudy Sky and Moriah panting as Cloudy Sky straddled the struggling unicorn. For a brief moment, Moriah's resistance increased, but was eventually silenced by gurgling gasps and soft shushes.

Cloudy Sky looked intently at Alex. "She's sleeping now," she said.

Alex slowly turned back toward Twilight.

"Is there uh... anything we can help you with Princess?"

"Oh Alex! You know you don't have to call me that. Just call me Twilight, like you did in Equestria," Twilight percolated, smiling brightly, until the look on her face faltered.

"Err— Well that's that, I suppose. I really wish I could stay longer but this page in the history books needs to come to a close and I should be on my way now. You know, lot's of princess-y things to do after all."

"Wait, that's it?" replied a stunned Alex. "You came all this way- How did you even get here? I thought our world's were drifting apart?"

"Yes, well..." Twilight tittered, and then paused. She beamed. "That's not important."

Alex's right eye spasmed violently. "You mean to tell me, you came ALL this way to tell me that this gun clip- ".

"Magazine."

"Twilight?" Rarity called out. "Are you there? It's time for our weekly spa visit with Fluttershy, dear."

Her calls were answered only by the soft echoes of her voice. Other than that, there was nothing but silence.

"Oh there you are!" Rarity exclaimed, moving into the library. "I suppose I should have checked here first, but-"

Rarity brought her hoof up in dread. Twilight laid in a pool of red liquid, mane singed with burn marks dotting her coat as far as she could see.

Rarity galloped over to Twilight and looked her over, hesitant to touch her. "Dear Celestia! Twilight please be alright."

Twilight shifted in the wooden tub and opened her eyes, looking up. She smiled as soon as she recognized her guest.

"HELLO RARITY, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN! IS IT ALREADY TIME FOR OUR WEEKLY SPA VISIT? I COULDN'T GET THE SMELL OUT AND I NOTICED WE HAD SO MANY BOTTLES OF LEFTOVER TOMATO SAUCE... RARITY WHAT'S WRONG?

The End.

Alternate Ending:

"Dear Celestia Twilight, are you alright?"

A frazzled lead and smoke-smeared Twilight looked back towards Rarity tiredly and smiled.

"OH HELLO RARITY! I DIDN'T SEE YOU COME IN."

Rarity hid her wince and rotated her ears away from the source of pain. "Err yes, Twilight are you sure you're quite alright?"

Twilight clapped her hooves together. "I AM DOING WONDERFUL, RARITY. I SUPPOSE THE TRIP COULD HAVE ENDED ON A BETTER NOTE, BUT I DID LEARN SO MUCH WHILE I WAS THERE."

There was no more hiding of the wince, Rarity brought her hooves up to her poor abused ears. "Twilight, dear could you lower your voice... oh what's the word Fluttershy likes to use nowadays— just a scosche?"

"SORRY RARITY, WHAT DID YOU SAY, I COULDN'T HEAR YOU."

Rarity took a deep breath.

And then they kissed.

The End.