Waking Up

As the group reunited to leave, Nikolai watched from the background. Apparently he had interrupted some lesson just as he made his entrance. Something about a comet or the like, he really didn't care. The tall white horse was called Celestia, apparently the primary ruler of the little horses. Her sister, named Luna was hovering near him while they waited, rolling and cracking her limb and wing joints. Loosening up after the fight, probably. “Hey, I got a question.”

“That is not how one addresses one of the diarchs of Equestria. Please use some respect,” stated a nameless guard, “It would behoove you to at least keep some sense of decorum.”

“What the actual fuck does that mean?” was Nikolai's response. Luna just gave a light laugh. Shaking her head at the antics of this stallion, she turned to the guard; not just the one who had spoken, but all of them in ear shot.

“This stallion is not from here, by any stretch of the imagination. He has also admitted to the fact he is not among the smartest of ponies. Please keep that in mind.” Luna then shook her head. Quickly thinking of another point, she raised her voice to tell the guard. “He, like any of our citizens, are allowed to talk to us. As long as he can keep his temper, he can be as...colorful as he wishes. If I took offense to any of his comments, I would let him know.”

“Well, gee; Thanks!”

“That was not, however a free call to be..what do they call it now..”

“An asshole? Bastard? Fucking shit-faced bitch?”

“...If I follow you correctly, asshole would suffice.” Shaking her head Luna then turned to look him in the eye as best as she could, only to notice he had lit some kind of tube, filled with something that smelled absolutely awful and was inhaling from the tube. “And what, pray tell, is that? A question for a question if you will.”

“Eh, its just a smoke. A cigarette, basically a mix of tobacco and a few other things. I can say I am hooked to the mild narcotic this is laced with. Also, No; none for any of you unless you want lung cancer.” Nikolai briefly tried to explain. Some of the guard had sickly looks on their faces at the smell, others seemed curious until he mentioned the lung cancer. “My question was, how are we getting to our destination? I see no form of transport and while I can cover a lot of ground with my jumping, I would rather not be leaping about the countryside for God alone know s how long. Much less carrying all of you that cant fly.”

“Teleportation, of course.” Luna looked over at him, noting how the dim glow from his...cigarette was illuminating his face from within his hood. “Why do you wear the hooded garment? Is it not warm in this weather?”

“It is now, it wasn't before. Then again I didn't have fur or walk on four legs before. Could be worse, but do you really want me walking around in the open with how I look? I am as fucking subtle as a forest fire.”

“While I would be lying if I said I had seen a more...memorable pony than you in my long life, you honestly could do with out all the covering. Maybe let down your hood? That might suffice,” Luna suggested. Shrugging, Nikolai threw his head back and let his hood fall. The guard how had spoken out drew in a breath sharply. The look on her face was quite the sight. A mix of pity and fear, unlaced with a fair amount of caution. She SHOULD rethink the fact that she might have insulted a rather unique stallion. She has only seen what he can do, not felt it. Luna then looked to Nikolai and asked, “So, you are on the larger side of most stallions. Are you average for where you are from? I was just curious, seeing as most stallions in our kingdom seldom get bigger than most mares.”

“I HAD been just a few inches taller or shorter based on what you saw as average. Taller than statistics and shorter than practice. I did out weigh most men my size by a few pounds. I think I was 40 pounds over recommended weight for my build?”

“And what was that? 150 pounds?” asked the same guardsmare without thinking in a sarcastic tone.

“Nah, my recommended weight was like 180 lbs. I was bopping around at two hundred and twenty? Maaaaybe two thirty. Granted I was at around five to seven percent body fat, so I could have lost a few pounds. Needed the weight though. You ever take on someone you own weight who could lift as much as you could in a spar or fight that actually had money riding on it? Yeah, those were the best days of my life.”

“You make it sound like you know your way around a ring.” mentioned yet another guard, this one male. He was more subdued, but not as flighty as he looked based on his tone. Huh, either he is a leader or he is just shy. Could be both though Nikolai.

“Nah, it was an octagon. It was around 35 feet across too.”

“What?”

“You asked. I have never set foot in a boxing ring other than to train or spar. Hell, I ain't even really professional in any martial art. I just brawl with enough styles fundamentals that I am unpredictable.” Luna perked up at that.

“So what ARE you trained in?”

“Not much, some Capoeira foot work and a few Boxing styles for punching. Mostly I just mix the two, I was involved with a organization named the Mortal Unlimited Competition, or MUC. The fighters were arranged into blocks of roughly similar skill, talent, weight and ability.”

“Why list all of those things separately?” asked Luna, noting out of the corner of her eye as the Elements of Harmony and her sister approached. They were quiet and listening as they got closer, Nikolai was not exactly being quiet, but not quite yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Do you remember how hard I hit you back there?” A nod greeted him as did a confused expression. “D'ya think SHE,” Nikolai pointed at the guardsmare rather pointedly, “could take a hit one TENTH that hard? What about fifty or more in under a minute? Out of ten to fifteen two minute rounds, until she was unconscious or submitted?” The look of shock on Luna and Celestia's faces said more than any words ever could. “And if you think that I am bad, try taking on someone who can run nearly seven HUNDRED miles per hour, as long as they physically can keep doing so, in a thirty five foot across octagon, with reflexes fast enough to dodge BEAMS OF LIGHT, and is skilled enough to make me look like an average Joe despite being so highly skilled and having enough experience at the time to rate as one of the worlds foremost unarmed combat experts military's normally looked to ta train their instructors.”

“You sound like you have some experience with that scenario,” started Celestia, “But I fail to see how that hypothetical fight-”

“Nine rounds, One minute fifty seven seconds; I had a broken jaw, six shattered ribs, a broken left ankle and was barely standing. My left arm was dislocated at both the shoulder and elbow, my right hand was broken to hell and back, fingers sprawling everywhere. I was barely conscious at the end. HE had two black eyes and was effectively blind, a broken nose, and as I learned later mild internal hemorrhaging from too many kidney and liver shots.” Nikolai deadpanned. “He lost when, blind as a bat, he ran into my arm which I had thrown out to balance myself after his last flurry of blows. He won most of his fights based on speed. I won through endurance and beating the tar outta people I COULD HIT. We were about ten seconds from being told to keep going after the timer ran out.

“And before you ask, I wasn't even a hundredth as strong as I am now. I was maybe pushing 750 bench press, and around a thousand for squats, near those numbers for everything else. While I was strong for most men, I was around average for the fighters in the MUC. I don't even know what my max weight is anymore. You lose track when you can duel wield tanks like clubs.”

“How was that anywhere near legal?” asked a new voice, belonging to a lavender mare. Nikolai looked around in surprise and saw the multitude of faces around him waiting for an answer. Welp, they want it, they got it.

“Simple, in a world of supers you would think that the average citizen wouldn't want to pay to see anyone beat the...” seeing some children present Nikolai tried tot one down his language, but was moderately unsuccessful, “Ever-living shite out of each other, right? You would honestly be wrong. Bloodsports are always in demand. Main reason being is who doesn't love the adrenaline rush form seeing combat in a controlled setting when both or all of the participants have agreed to a set of rules and are looking to see which of you is better?”

“I was NOT asking about that, I was asking how a stallion that fast was fighting a male you just admitted was nowhere NEAR this level of power.”

“That is the Unlimited bit there lass. See there were the normal divisions- light, welter, middle, heavy, super heavy. Then the Unlimited class started- Street, City, Country, Global, and Galactic; with a final Unlimited class for those who wanted a different fight or were a wee bit too strong for the Galactic class; that being as I am now I would fall around the Global range. I cant really fly and that is a pre-req for the Galactic class. They CANNOT fight on the ground. “

“Still how did you-”

“Waiver, how else. I was good enough and was told the risks. I was a Street level by the way. He was a City, bordering on Country.”

“Why'd yah fight somepony that powerful even after all that?” asked a southern voice from a orange mare with a what looked like stetson on of all things.

“Money, the title that the speedster held, really didn't need a reason. Mah job was fighting, and I was good at it. I was the reigning champ for most of the titles I could grab for near on a decade.”

“My goodness, how long did you fight?” questioned a white mare.

“Meh, I have been brawling for round about 20 years all told. Been fighting professionally for about eight. Time flies when you have fun.”

“Wow, you must be super old! How old are you, huh-huh-huh?” asked in a bubblegum colored mare in a machine gun like fashion. Considering she hadn't been BEHIND his head before asking that, Nikolai took it rather well in hindsight. He just jumped a hundred and fifty feet straight up and slammed his back into the ground, shaking it. The look on his face, however, was priceless for the princesses. Celestia and Luna both laughed out loud when they saw his expression of horror and absolute shock. It was as if one had caught a foal with their hoof in the cookie jar. Nikolai's response was quite likely par for the course.

“WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING BEHIND MY HEAD?!” Before she could answer, he revised the question. “WHEN did you get behind my head?!” The mare in question was sitting on his chest, looking down. Her expression was thoughtful and mildly outputting.

“I don't really know why, it felt right to pop out and give you the old Pinkie Pie greeting here rather than in town for some reason.” The aptly named Pinkie told him, after humming for a second. She then continued, “As for when, you never looked behind you!”

“I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO!”

“As engaging as this will be before long, I do recommend we take this back to Ponyville. Or at least back to our castle.” stated Luna, charging her horn with magic. A flash and sick-to-their-stomachs feeling later, and the group looked around to find themselves in what appeared to be a castle. Luna shook herself and began to walk away, looking over her shoulder. “Please, it is late enough and I am tired. Please consider yourselves guests for the night. I will see you all on the morrow.” A retching sound reached her ears, the guard trying not to get violently ill after the sudden mass teleport. The Elements seemed to be fairing better, blinking owlishly at their surroundings. Nikolai however was on his knees and gagging, a small pile of bile at his forelegs.

“A bit of warning would have sufficed Luna.” calmly stated Celestia.

“Bah, from the looks of it, a few of them could use toughening up.”

“Still, its the principle of the thing Luna.”

“Princess, what are you going to do with him?” quietly asked the lavender mare, closing in on Celestia's side. She looked askance at Nikolai. “Surely he needs to be placed in the cells for at least starting to fight with...”

“Twilight, while he fought with me and my sister, if you remember- it was I who struck first. He was defending himself. And while normally he would be placed there to be observed, I can honestly say the cells would NOT hold him longer than he wished to be there.” Clesetia explained just as quietly. Looking around she found a mare she needed to talk to, “Steward, we will be needing the Elements guest rooms made ready for the night, as well as a room with a bed large enough for the stallion over there.”

“But your Highness, without warning or prior notice those rooms take at least an hour to get ready. As for a bed big enough....” Steward began, “There are a total of five I can think of.” The look on her face became contemplative. “Yours, your sisters, a dragon's, a cell in the dungeon, and one bed that I need to remind you was broken while in storage.”

“The dragon bed should suffice, he won't be here long; maybe a day or two. Could you have the kitchens ready a late meal?”

“At once.” Steward replied with a bow. As she trotted off to see to the requests of the Princess, Celestia looked back at the group.

“Guard, you are dismissed. Please rest well. Twilight, would you gather the others and meet me in the dining hall?”

“O-of course Princess.”

“I shall be with you all shortly. Until then.” with that, Celestia took off and flew off to her sister's room. Luna you had better not be getting sick. We need to talk, she sent to her sister.

Nonsense, We do not get SICK. We merely feel a bit peck-

Lu?

Pardon, just had a frog in my throat.

Dammit Luna. Mentally facehoofing at her sister's antics, Celestia flew a little faster. You know you need to ask for a little help with a teleport that large....

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Twilight just blinked at the abrupt departure of her mentor. Shaking herself of the idle notion of asking what was wrong, other than Luna most likely getting ill from a Mass Group Teleport, without a sigil even, she turned to look at her friends and their sisters. Rainbow was talking to Scootaloo quietly, Rarity scolding Sweetie for something to do with her mane, and AJ was looking at Apple Bloom, who was looking at the stallion with a question on her face. Apple Bloom turned to her sister and asked something too softly for her to hear, but Applejack shook her head. “AJ, you mind corralling the the others into the hall for a bit?”

“Sure as sugar; come on y'all! Lets start making our way to the dining hall, I don't know about any o' you; but I'm hungry as I've been in days.”

“Darling, why must you be so....blunt?”

“Simple, why take time beatin' around the bush? The grub ain't going to eat itself.” was the farm mare's response. Rarity, in her own way, just shook her head. Motioning to Sweetie Belle to start moving, Rarity began to leave the room they found themselves in. Rainbow just looked around and shrugged. Picking Scootaloo up and flying off after Rarity, she called out to AJ.

“Hey, wanna see if they have any hayfries or anything like that?” the groan that she heard from the hall made Rainbow smile, causing her to grin and continue, “I mean it isn't like the princesses don't eat them right?”

“Rainbow, y'all might wanna tone it down unless you want Rarity to get ta talking your ear off- again- about healthy eatin' habits.”

“Please, she has to catch up first.”

“NOT IF YOU ARE STUFFING YOUR FACE!” was the reply from beyond the door, causing Rainbow to jump and look nervously at the hall beyond. There was no sign of Rarity that she could see, nor any of Sweetie Belle.

“Hey, squirt, is she behind me?”

“Nope! Sweetie is though.”

“GOTTA GO!” and like that Rainbow was gone in under five seconds. Twilight had ignored the exchange and walked to Fluttershy and was trying to get her up to her hooves. The poor butter colored pegasus was still looking green, and Pinkie was nowhere to be seen- either a very good or very bad sign. "Do you need help with anything?”

“If the room would stop spinning, that would be lovely.” murmured the shy mare, eyes closed and head pointed to her hooves. She tried to stand, but gave up after a few tries, mumbling about everything still spinning. A grunt was heard from near the pair and Twilight saw that the stallion had somehow managed to get a few towels and had cleaned up most of his mess. Granted, all he did was sop it up into the towels, but that was more....those were the drapes to the room, not towels she noted upon closer inspection. Twilight placed her head in her hooves and groaned.

“What? They were tacky anyway.”

“That isn't the point. You are just lucky that Rarity left. She would have-”

“Was she the white one?” asked Nikolai to which Twilight nodded about to continue her tirade only to be blindsided by his next comment, “She's the one who suggested it.”

“...What.” Less a question and more along the lines of a statement. One not quite meant.

“Something about the colors never working together. I needed something to clean up with and the floor was a fringe benefit, it worked out. Not like they were irreplaceable national relics.”

“They kind of WERE.” Twilight delivered in a deadpan voice. Nikolai looked over at the pile of ruined fabric. After a few seconds he looked back.

“Ah'm not apologizing.”

And with that he walked over and picked up Fluttershy. Mimicking Rainbow, he put her over his back and asked, “So, where to?” Twilight just groaned. This was already shaping up to be a normal night as far as the Elements were concerned after a event of possibly life altering consequences. At least Discord wasn't around, that was the last thing they needed. She simply hung her head and while muttering about how this couldn't get any worse, motioned for him to follow. The Night was young, or at least, not over yet. There was still a meal and dreams to be had.

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In the darkest pits of hell, almost at the edge of the realm, sat a large figure. Larger than life, older than time, more powerful than the upstart who upstaged him, or so he would have you believe, sat a being known only as Guru. He looked around at a small globe, blue and green, and smiled.

Murphy's Law was invoked.

Things were about to get interesting. “I THINK IT IS TIME FOR THE GAMES TO BEGIN. YOU WANT POWER, MORGUE? YOU HAVE TO EARN IT!” laughed the being in his deep and sonorous voice, laughing loud enough to be heard all the way through Hell. The demons nearest to his location ran in terror, for when the Great Watcher, the Fan, laughed- destruction followed. Then the being looked to the globe, and in his most terrifying timber called out, “ARISE YOUNG JUGGERNAUT, ENTERTAIN ME. MAYHAP ONE DAY YOU COULD GO HOME, IF YOU WIN.” The laughter that rang out was long and deep, lasting well into the twilight of days in the afterlife, almost at the edge of mortal hearing. And several mortals heard it, and looked at each other or the sky and prayed it want what they thought. Or in the case of one man, hoping he wasn't about to be called...

And thus, was the stage set, and players arranged accordingly. Time for the beings beyond time to see what played out. And what a game they had planned.

Author's Note

Much do I have planned, i can tell you that.