The Raid of Equestria

"Here we are" Applejack said as we reached Sugar Cube Corner.  I took a deep breath and grasped the doorknob.

"Ok I don't think I can do this" I said.  "Because there are a few possibilities that might happen."  Ace rolled his eyes and opened the door, causing me to stumble in.  Suddenly, the logs clicked on.

"SURPRISE!" Various ponies exclaimed.  Even Ferro, Ronnie, and Raleigh were there.

"Wait, what the--?! What?!" I asked.  Patton stepped forward.

"You like it?" He asked.  "I helped Pinkie Pie set up this Welcome to Ponyville party.

"Were you surprised?!" Pinkie Pie asked as she appeared out of nowhere.

"Yes I was" I laughed as Ace and Applejack entered the house.

"So" Ace said as he lightly pushed me further in.  "When does the party start?" Applejack and closed the door.  Music then started playing.  I watched as the ponies mingled with my new friends but something kept bothering me.  Why were we sent to Equestria?

"Is something wrong?" Princess Twilight asked.

"I can't help but wonder why we were sent to Equestria" I said.  "Did Princess Celestia want humans here?  Does she want to see if humans and ponies and live together?"

Princess Twilight smiled.  "Just enjoy the party and I'll explain."  I nodded.

"Ok" I said.  Princess Twilight patted my back with a forehoof comfortingly.  As she walked away, Patton patted my shoulder.

"So, what do you think?" He asked.

"I like it" I said.  I was amazed with how well this party was made.  "Patton, I can't believe you and Pinkie Pie took all this time to set this party up."

Patton shrugged.  "Well, back on Earth, I set up parties too so this really isn't the first time."

"Remind me to have you as my party planner" I said.  Patton laughed and punched me playfully.

"Travis, can I talk to you outside?" Princess Twilight asked.

"Sure" I said.  "I'll be right back."

"Ok" Patton said.  When I reached the doorway, I heard a soft thud somewhere outside.  As a precaution, I grabbed a plastic baseball bat before I went outside with Princess Twilight.  I followed her towards an alleyway.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"If you want to know why you're here, I'll tell you..." She sighed.  "A former resident of Equestria is planning to attack.  I didn't want to tell anypony and neither did Princess Celestia.  She thought that--" I cupped a hand over her mouth, muffling her.

"Shh" I whispered.  She watched as I stepped back with the bat still in my hand.  I glanced up and saw a soldier standing on the roof with his back turned to us.  Princess Twilight was too scared to use magic.  I looked at the ground and placed the tip of the bat on a pebble.  I glanced up at the soldier.

'First... Pillage the nest' I thought to myself as I closed my eyes.  (I picked up the pebble and used the baseball bat to hit it.  The pebble struck the soldier, causing him to fall.  He got to his feet and pulled out a tactical knife).

'Clip wings' (the soldier lunged at me.  I side stepped and struck his arm with the bat.  He tried to slash me with his knife.  I evaded his attack and struck his hand, causing him to drop his weapon.)

'Then... Blunt his beak.  (I backhanded him and rammed the bat into his chest.)

'Crack eggs' (I got on one knee and struck his groin)

'Stir yolk' (I got to my feet and struck him in the back, causing him to fall into the dirt face down.)

'Dash of salt' (I kicked him in the rib.)

'Sprinkle pepper' (I kicked him again)

'Additional seasoning if so choose' (I struck him once more with the bat)

I opened my eyes and sighed.  I picked up the pebble and tossed it.  I then struck it with the bat.  The pebble struck the soldier, making him lose his balance and fell.  I stepped back as he got to his feet  he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tactical knife.

"Travis!" Princess Twilight cried out.

The soldier lunged at me, about to throw a punch.  I quickly sidestepped and struck his arm with the bat.  As he attempted to slash me, I sidestepped again and smacked his hand with the bat, causing him to drop the knife.  I then backhanded him and jabbed the bat roughly into his chest.  I then got on one knee, and hit his groin, causing him to yell in pain.  I straightened up and struck him in the back, causing the soldier to lie face down into the dirt, groaning.  I kicked him twice in the rib and delivered a final strike to his head with the bat.  I grabbed the tactical knife and pocketed it.

"Come in" a voice over the radio said.  "Jailbird 3 do you copy?" I reached over and turned off the radio.

"It's time for some explanations and I think my friends and yours should know what's going on."  Princess Twilight nodded with agreement.

Somewhere in Ponyville, Moriarty turned his radio off.  "Lock and load!" He yelled.  "Begin the raid!" He opened a portal, sending a few more soldiers to Ponyville.  As his men charged forward, he smiled to himself.  "And this is only the first wave."