The town hadn’t changed a bit since she had left- though really, who could expect a small village like Ponyville to become unrecognizable in just a few short days? Everything was just as she had left it, and a good thing, too. Twilight was rather exhausted from her work in Canterlot.
She gave a deep sigh as she walked through the threshold of her home with Spike by her side, feeling rather weighed down despite the cheer with which they had ended their day. Things had gone well, she reasoned to herself. Her old friendships had been restored and the open wounds with Moondancer had been healed. Her old friend now had friendships of her own to replace the bitterness and anger that had dwelled in her heart for so long. Thanks to Pinkie Pie, along with the helpfulness of her old posse, things had gone swimmingly. So why is it that she felt so sad?
“Something wrong, Twilight?” Spike asked, jarring her from her thoughts. She looked down to see her oldest friend gazing at her with a look of concern written on his face.
“Just a bit distracted, Spike,” she replied. “Why do you ask?”
“Well, uh, you’re kind of walking into a wall,” he answered. Twilight glanced up and saw that, indeed, she had been rendered immobile by the crystal walls of her castle. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell you how long you’ve been doing that,” the dragon added.
“Thanks, Spike,” she said, trotting through the hallway and into the kitchen, peering about in the cupboards for a glass. “Say, it’s late… you should go get some sleep, Spike.”
“What are you gonna do?” he asked.
“Oh, I’ll just read a book till I can’t hold my eyes open,” Twilight replied, her mind drifting to the freshly added non-fiction bookshelves she had just acquired. Odds are, if there was to be a book to put her to sleep, it would come from there.
“Alright, if you say so,” Spike muttered, walking towards his bedroom and pausing. “Twilight?”
“Mm?”
“Are you sure you’re OK? Anything you want to talk about?” He was being unusually serious, his face bearing an expression she had not yet seen before. “Moondancer and the others were my friends, too. If there’s anything you need to talk about…”
Twilight thought about that for a moment before shaking her head. “I’ll be fine, Spike,” she replied with a smile. “You go on to bed, don’t worry about me.”
Appeased, though perhaps not satisfied, Spike gave a nod and went on his way. Now armed with a cool glass of water, Twilight headed to her library and pored through her latest additions to the collection: Numerology and its Origins, A History of Equestrian Flag-making, Why We Need the Fourth Wall, and so many more that she had completely forgotten she had ordered quite so many. She grabbed her copy of Haycartes’ Methods and walked over to her chaise lounge and curled up, poring over the first chapter in the candlelight. But despite all her efforts, she couldn’t venture past the very first paragraph. She tried reading it from a different angle (quite literally, as she found the difficulty of reading a book while she was upside down made her concentrate better), she tried reading it aloud, but to no avail. She had developed some sort of block.
Twilight gave a muffled groan of frustration and slammed the book closed, only then truly paying attention to the title she had grabbed. Was it coincidence that she had taken Haycartes’ Methods, a book that had come up in recent conversation? Perhaps, but the incident could not be cast aside, just as Moondancer’s embittered remarks could not be so easily pushed away-
“That was only the first time I ever put myself out there, and then you didn’t even bother to show up!" Her old friend’s furious remarks rose to the forefront of her mind unbidden, feeling like hot knives boring into her hide. "I felt like I wasn’t important! I never wanted to let myself be hurt like that again."
That was because of me, Twilight thought. I caused her so much sadness and pain because I missed just one party. What about everything else I did? All the times I was too busy studying and I would snap at them, or just plain ignore them sometimes? What on earth did I do?
Twilight opened her eyes and realized that she was clutching her head with her forehooves and was bent over across her lounge. She gave herself a vigorous shake and hoped that Spike hadn’t seen that.
She needed to get away from here, from that book. Old memories from long ago were resurfacing thanks to that wretched thing: memories of snubs, missed appearances and general unpleasantness that made Twilight want to crawl under her bed in shame. It was late, but the moon was shining brightly across the village that she called home. Perhaps a moonlit stroll would help clear her head. She opened the nearby window as silently as she could and glided gently towards the ground below, making landfall with nary a sound.
It was an odd feeling, to be walking around such an empty Ponyville. Twilight was used to seeing her home bustling, full of the sounds of good cheer and well-wishes that were such a common sight in this town. To see the homes darkened, their windows closed and their occupants silent- it took some getting used to.
As she trotted along, she passed by Carousel Boutique and saw, to her surprise, the lights were still blazing brightly even at this late hour. She peered through the window and saw her friend Rarity flitting about this way and that in her usual frenetic manner. Why would she still be awake now?
“Now please, these are most certainly not business hours! If you would kindly come back once the sun has risen, preferably around noon or so, then I will willingly accommodate you, but if you decide to come intruding-” Rarity, preoccupied with her work, finally turned around to find Twilight walking through her doors. “Oh, Twilight, how rude of me! I didn’t realize it was you- but what are you doing up so late? And out and about?”
“I could ask the same of you,” Twilight replied.
“Oh, you know how it goes, dear,” Rarity replied, brushing past her to grab a stretch of fabric. “An order comes in and is demanded to be a rush job, so I sometimes have to burn the midnight oil to keep up. It’s certainly not fair, but I always wish to meet the client’s needs.”
“Oh.” She paused, watching the fashionista go about her business, noticing the frazzled mane that was so well-kept, and the lines underneath her friend’s eyes. “Do you want any help? You look exhausted.”
“Thank you, Twilight, but I’ll manage,” Rarity replied kindly. “The client WAS rather specific in their requirements, so it’s best I forge alone.”
Twilight nodded her head, taking a few steps back to keep out of the way. If she could not help by lending a hoof, it was best she ensure she didn’t slow the process. She settled for watching Rarity work for a time, her friend flitting this way and that in search of a myriad of items: a stretch of fabric, a ribbon -no, the blue one, not the cyan- a clothespin, a needle, and a dried flower, just for the hat. Occasionally she would gaze at a completed item and then, as if some silent approval had been met, she would give a nod and continue. However, after finalizing one piece –a ringed cloak with rose petals interwoven into the collar- Rarity cried “Eugh” and cast it aside and tried again.
“What was wrong with it? It looked lovely,” Twilight asked.
“I know it can be better, that’s all,” Rarity answered. “My clients will never be satisfied with a poorly made item, so neither should I. But putting that aside for the moment,” she added, “I do believe you didn’t tell me why you’re up so late tonight. Just out for a stroll and decided to visit?”
“No, I was just- I was trying to- I’m not sure why, really,” Twilight confessed.
Rarity studied her for a minute. “How was Canterlot, dear? You were gone for quite a while…”
“Canterlot was fine, everything went well,” Twilight replied.
“Are you sure? Nothing to upset you occurred there?”
Twilight knew she would be outright lying if she said no. Besides, she could trust Rarity, one of her closest friends, couldn’t she? Putting everything on the floor, she started from the beginning: her neglect of her old circle of friends, her reunion with her old classmates, her search for Moondancer, Moondancer’s belligerence, Moondancer’s anger, all the things Moondancer had said… “And she was just… so upset with what I had done to her,” Twilight said tearfully, trying to do her best to push through. “I never realized until then how important that was to her, how one thing seemed so unimportant at the time- it crushed her spirit.”
Rarity, to her credit, hadn’t said a word the entire time Twilight had been speaking, settling for an expression of deep attention. She was unconsciously rubbing her hoof across her chin as she though before finally saying, “Didn’t you say, though, that you were able to make amends with Moondancer? Isn’t everything better now?”
“Well, yes…”
“Then why are you so worried, dear? What more can you do?” Rarity inquired.
“I- well, nothing, I guess,” Twilight said. “But I have to do something! What about all the other times I was such a terrible friend to them? Lyra even lives here and I barely even noticed! I’m the Princess of Friendship for goodness’ sake! Shouldn’t I do a better job than this?” I have to!”
“Twilight, dear, you’re allowed a few mistakes along the way,” Rarity said consolingly.
“But I’m not! Not anymore, at least!” Twilight burst out. “I’m a princess!”
Rarity sat there, regarding her friend’s distress. “Twilight, you’ve made mistakes. Haven’t you done the best you can to fix them?”
“I- I don’t know,” Twilight murmured.
“You realized you had failed with your old friends, didn’t you? And then, upon realizing your mistake, you did what it took to fix it? Look at what you did to make amends with Moondancer. What more can you do?”
Twilight said nothing, bowing her head. She wanted to say something, anything, but found she had no defense. “But I’m a princess,” she repeated feebly.
“Does being a princess mean you’re not going to mistakes?” Rarity questioned. “MY stars, Twilight, you don’t have to be perfect! You’re growing, and you’ll always be growing! You certainly know more about friendship now than when you lived in Canterlot, and you know more about friendship than when you came here. Goodness, you know more about friendship than even when you became a princess! The only thing you can do is keep trying your best each time. After all, it takes effort to makes friendships work, doesn’t it?”
Twilight nodded slowly, starting to feel somewhat sheepish. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of that myself,” she said.
“See? My point exactly, dear,” Rarity replied. “And, seeing as you ARE Princess of Friendship, I’m sure you’re going to remember that from here on out.
If you ever need proof that it worked out in the end, just look around, dear- or just take a look in the mirror! Princess Celestia chose you, all the way back when you weren’t interested in having friends at all, and look at what became of that. Would we even be friends, if you hadn’t made all those mistakes? I dare say you learned from them in the end.”
Twilight’s mind raced through all that had happened over the years, of all her days in Ponyville with her best friends: battling Nightmare Moon, helping Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres, throwing Pinkie Pie’s birthday party, the Gala, battling Discord, Sombra, Tirek, and so many other memories that she found her head –as well as her heart- simply couldn’t find the room. She couldn’t imagine her life without them, and all of that began because she couldn’t find the time to make some friends. “Thank you, Rarity,” she whispered.
Rarity gave her a smile. “No problem at all, dear,” she said, wheeling about and staring at the unfinished dress behind her. “Hmm… no, just a small diamond, right across the pocket… yes that would look just exquisite…”
“Are you sure you don’t need any help, Rarity?” Twilight asked once more as her friend dissolved back into her work.
“Oh, I’ll be fine, Twilight,” Rarity replied sweetly. “Go on back home, don’t worry about me. You’ve had a long day.”
Yes, it had been a long day, Twilight mused as she exited the boutique. A long, trying, hard, painful day. But a good one nonetheless.
Author's Note
My response to what was a surprisingly mature, thoughtful episode. I hope you enjoy it, dear reader.