Equestrian Psychopath Hotline

by BronyGamer

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Anthro, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 839

Man that goes to a convention as Jacket from Hotline Miami and gets sent to Equestria

There are many things I regret; not spending more time with her is one of the major things. The biggest thing that I regret but don't at the same time is buying that baseball bat.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-18 02:38:03 UTC

Prelude

I slowly get up and look around. The walls around me are dilapidated and dripping with water and blood. As I walk forward through the dark hallway the floor creaks until I reach a door. As I open it I'm greeted by someone in a horse mask. Her hair is pink and drawn down to her shoulders. She's wearing a pure white dress with two suns over her breasts. Her mask is white with black eyes, a tiara upon her head.

"Hello there." Her voice flows out of her mouth like silk being blown gently by the wind.

I look at her, not able to say anything. After a while of staring she sighs and closes the gap between us. I look at her hand as it rests on my shoulder. I'm now able to see a golden ring, the  same sun on it but done in a purple gem which glows softly.

"It seems you can't speak here...oh well, we'll just have to save our conversation for later." She kisses my cheek and I step back a bit, weirded out. She sighs again. "Guess it ran deeper than we thought..." She mutters. She then looks at me. "Guess I'll have to remind you of who you were." Her ring starts to glow with a strange yellow light as the room fades to white.

Part 1- Rising Action: Chapter 1- The Fall

I grunt as I get up from lying down in a meadow. "Ok Vince...think...how did this happen..." I mutter to myself as I take stock of what I have. "First I went to comic-con....then I met this merchant guy...and now.." I pull out a sawed of shotgun, "I'm stuck..." a Mini Uzi comes out next, " in..." I pull out the bat I bought, "a fucking..." I finally pull out my mask, "cartoon land."

Unknown to me someone walks up to me from behind. "Um...excuse me sir..?"

I turn around to see what seems like a pony but is standing on two legs and has hands. She, which I can tell from her rather perky breasts, is wearing what look like rags but is actually a dress. "A-are you ok?"

"Yeah...I think so at least." I sit down so that we're now eye level. "So...what do you want?"

She shakes a bit from nervousness. "I-I've been looking for some protection. The Pegasi and Unicorns have been stealing our food but they mainly go after mine since I have such a large orchard." I look at her and lean forward, interested. "I'd pay you with food and a place to stay." I nod and get up.

"You have yourself a deal." I smile a bit as she smiles widely. I out everything back into my bag and sling it over my shoulder. I look around as we walk to her orchard. I look as she starts to run. I look up and see what's making her do so: a large fire coming from what I guess is her home. I reach it with her and I look around. "Stay here." I put on the mask and pull out my bat. I dig into my pocket and find a Casette Deck. I follow the pathway to her orchard, smiling under my mask as I find it just starting to be burned by the culprits: a group of Pegasi in armor.

"Sir, what's that thing?" The leader of the group turns and looks at me.

"Probably just some sort of new animal or something." He turns back to continue burning the orchard.

I walk forward, my bat resting over my shoulder as I pull out my tape deck. I lift it up and press play. "WARNING: The following presentation is not rated for those under 17, viewer discretion advised." I smile as they all stand there, looking at me. I put it away and bash in the closest Pegasi's face in with my bat, knocking her over. I stand over her and start bashing her skull in, leaving behind a poll of blood and brains.

"Kill the bucker."

I open my eyes wide as the world gets pixelated and I see myself surrounded by them. "Consider this a gift my friend....but keep in mind I will come back to collect on the favor."

I roll to the side as one of the remaining 4 tries to attack me from behind. On his next try I swing my bat into his head, making his neck crack and cause him to go flying into a tree. I swing at the closest one, catching her by surprise. I start bashing down on her, killing her. I smirk as the remaining two run away. My vision goes back to normal and I see what I've done. I take my mask off and I double over, throwing up. 'God damn...I'm probably never going to get used to this....' I look up as a Unicorn in a slightly ragged cloak with bits of a beautiful dress peaking through from underneath stands infront of me