Adventures in Stupidity

by Wolfy Hige

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Random, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 3358

Two bronies + The Doctor + Ditsy Doo = Adventure!

What seemed to be an average night for two bronies was turned upside down in an instant. Now they are met by two rather strange characters…

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-31 00:01:35 UTC

Prologue

This night was supposed to be a night like any other… me and my roommate were supposed to be hanging out, and playing video games. We missed the new My Little Pony episode, so we were going to watch it after we finished our Soul Caliber marathon… It didn’t end up like I expected…

10 minutes ago

“Xiba for the win!” I screamed after a perfect knockout. We had decided to call it quits after this last game.

“Congratulation, you beat me… Once!” He said in his normal arrogant tone he gains after a few round of Soul Caliber

“Time for ponies.” I said as I walked over to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

“I deserve a victory muffin.” He said once he got up and walked to the refrigerator.

“Good for you, I’m going to look up the episode.” I said as I walked to my room.

“Wait!” He said. He looked at me with a strange look “I have an idea…” he grabbed the keys that were on the counter and ran out of the house.

I followed him to the car to see what he was talking about…

10 minutes later (Present)

“AHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughed in a maniacal voice “This is our destiny!” He screamed as he drove the car deeper into the forest.

After he began to drive, he took a road near a forest near our house. You should have seen the look on my face when the two left tires of the car stoped touching the ground after he took a hard turn into the forest.

“Soon, soon we will take on our true meaning in life! We shall finally complete our purpose!” He continued to babble. The lunatic that was driving the car was non-other than my roommate and best friend ZuperDerpy. I’ve known him most of my life, but I’ve never seen him act this way. He is driving us into a forest for no reason, we could crash into a tree at any moment, and his speeches don’t really make any sense… but it was damn well fun!

“Tonight we dine in hell!” I yelled. Hi, I’m Hige. I’m just your average brony, with my less than average friends.

“No, that is not our destiny! Our destiny begins the moment we crash into that tree!” He screamed as he pointed at the single large tree that was in the middle of our route.

“This isn’t going to end wel-” I would have finished that sentence if it wasn’t for the fact that I had gotten all the air knocked out me.  Once we stopped moving, I looked around through the windows of the car. Where the hell is ZuperDerpy?

“Let’s go.” ZuperDerpy said as he opened the passenger seat door. He was as injured as me, I knew for a fact that he HAD to be as injured as me… but he doesn’t act the part…

He walked through the forest as if he was familiar with this landmarkless land. Each time we shifted direction, he seemed dead sure of what he was doing. To my surprise, there was a point to all of this. My heart began to race as I saw ZuperDerpy standing next to a strange and unconscious girl that was on the forest floor. The girl looked to be the same age as both ZuperDerpy and me; she wore average clothes, and had a normal looking face… What seemed so familiar? She was blonde; she had jeans and a gray t-shirt…

        “What are you doing!?” I yelled at ZuperDerpy as he began to pick her up.

        “Do you want to just leave her here?” He said with a hint of frustration. I don’t know if it was the fact that I’ve lost a lot of blood, or the fact that he’s been right about everything to this point, but I believed him.

Between the both of us, we carried the girl into the car ZuperDerpy had just crashed. I doubted it was going to work in that condition, yet ZuperDerpy seemed confident that it would. The first time he tried to start, it sprang to life. He drove the car in reverse and got us out of the forest. Once we were back on the road, he shifted the car to neutral and drove us back home. We reached the house and carried the girl in. We placed her on the couch, ZuperDerpy sat on the smaller couch while I took a seat in the armchair. Moments passed before ZuperDerpy asked something that topped the scale of crazy things that have happened…

        “What the hell just happened!?” He asked me once he began to look at the blood, bruises, and cuts on his body.

        “Simple, you drove us into a tree to find this girl in the middle of the forest. You called it destiny.” I told him in a completely serious tone. He didn’t take it well.

        “Why didn’t you stop me!?” he answered back in an angry and scared tone.

        “Because your prediction came true. I don’t know what just happened, but it was real.” I pointed at the girl “Now I have a question for you. Does that girl look familiar to you?”

        He looked at the girl. By the look he had, I could tell that he was trying to think of something “You know what? She does kind of look familiar…”

        “Exactly… I’m going to go take a shower, the blood is coagulating.”

        “Good for you.” He said in the fake happy tone I was o so familiar with.

13 minutes later

        “You should really take a shower. If she does wake up, I don’t think she’ll like seeing a man covered in his own blood looking at her while she sleeps.” I told him while I finished drying my hair. I changed to my favorite dark green cotton pant and a random blue t-shirt I got out of the closet.

        “Sure, just keep an eye on her.” He answered as he made his way to his room.

I walked over to my room, threw my towel on the computer chair, and grabbed my IPod. I walked back to the living room and lay on the two person couch. I put on one of the headphones and started listening to music. I closed my eyes and waited for something to happen. Moments passed and I heard the shower turn off, the door open, and ZuperDerpy walking towards the living room.

        “Nothing?” He asked me

        “No.” My stomach began to growl “I’m gonna get something from the fridge.”

        “Oh right, almost forgot my victory muffin.” He said as he walked towards the kitchen.

ZuperDerpy grabbed another muffin from the fridge and rested some weight on the counter. I opened the fridge and took out the jug of milk. I grabbed a cup and the pack of Oreos that was on the counter. I placed exactly eight Oreos in the cup (Because an odd number of Oreos is disgusting) and filled the cup with milk. I waited for the Oreos to soften.

        “Hello?” said a female voice coming from the living room. Me and ZuperDerpy were stunned by the voice. We looked at the living room and found the girl on her feet and looking around.

        “Hello.” ZuperDerpy answered in a soft tone.

        “Where am I?” She asked.

        “You in our house, we found you in the forest.” I answered… I soon realized how strange it sounded.

        “Where is he?” She asked.

        “Follow me!” ZuperDerpy suddenly yelled as he walked towards the door. He had the same look on his face when he crashed the car.

        “This is gonna be fun…” I murmured to myself as I turned my head to the girl. “Trust me, he know what he’s doing.” I told her with a reassuring grin, she gave a nod and followed him.

I made a quick detour in my room to get my hoodie and some shoes before I began to follow ZuperDerpy. By the time I exited the front door, ZuperDerpy was on the sidewalk waiting for me. Once I caught up, he began to make his way to somewhere specific.

        “Why don’t we take the car?” I asked him.

“Because it won’t start.” He said in a happy tone. I learned not to question when he says thing like this…

We walked for about an hour before we reached a Starbucks. ZuperDerpy pointed at it, and said that that was our destination. The three of us made our way there. Once ZuperDerpy opened the door, I was surprised to hear a rather loud discussion inside.

        “What do you mean you don’t sell tea?” Asked a voice with a British accent.

        “I’m sorry, sir, but we sold out. We don’t keep much of it in stock here.” The other voice answered.

        “This is outrageous!” he yelled.

Once we walked inside, we had to walk through a hall that made up one of the sides to the dining area, but separated any visual contact with that area. The discussion was loud enough to be heard from the hall. The man seemed to be rather angry, but the woman’s tone seemed more neourvous than angry. “What do you mean there’s no tea!?” the man exclaimed in a British accent. we soon reached the end of the hall and made visual contact with the man.

        “I thought I lost you!” she told him in  angry, happy, and relieved tone.

        “Ditsy? I was about to go looking for you, how did you find me?” The man said in a suddenly happy tone.

        “They brought me here.” She answered as she pointed to ZuperDerpy and me.

        “And you two are?” The man asked.

        “What?” ZuperDerpy said with the same tone and face that he had once he finally recovered from his last crazy episode.

        “Are you kidding me?” I said in a frustrated tone “You had to pick NOW to come back?”

        “What did I do?” ZuperDerpy asked.

        “I hate to interrupt, but who exactly are you two?” The man asked with curiosity.

        “I’m Hige.” I said as I turned my head and looked at him, and extended my hand.

        “And I’m ZuperDerpy.” he said, also extended his hand.

        “We, ZuperDerpy and Hige.” He said as he crossed his arms and shook both of our hands. “I must thank you for bringing back Ditsy, I was worries sick...”

“No worries. And you are?” I asked him

“I’m the Doctor!” He said with a grin.

And this was the story of the nigh where our lives were turned upside down...

Chapter 1

“Wait... What!?” I yelled in surprise causing various people to look at me.

“I. Am. The. Doctor.” He repeated slowly.

        “I heard that, but... How? What are you doing here?” I asked with my normal voice, I didn't want people to look at me again.

        “I was looking for Ditsy.” He said simply as he placed a hand on her back.

        “Ditsy?” ZuperDerpy asked curiously.

        “That’s me!” The girl said in a happy tone.

        “Yes. Ditsy Doo, my current assistant.” He explained.

        “Wait... but Ditsy is from Equestri-...” I began.

        “Yes she is.” he answered before I had a chance to finish my sentence. “That’s where we came from.”

        “But why did you come here?” ZuperDerpy asked.

        “Magic and curiosity. I was trying to see if I can use magic to get here, and it work... more or less...” He explained

        “And what about the TARDIS?” ZuperDerpy asked

        “I put it on a delay. It should be getting here in awhile.” He answered

        “Excuse me, sir.” The cashier said trying to get The Doctor’s attention. “We found some tea. Turns out they were in storage, but they were never accounted for.” She said with a smile.

        “This day keeps getting better and better.” The Doctor said with a smile. “But I’ll be leaving now.” he pointed at the door. “Allons-y!” He exclaimed as he walked over to the hall and made his way to the door with us following behind him.

        “Where are we going?” I asked as I walked out the door The Doctor was holding open for us.

“I have Ditsy, and now I need to find the TARDIS.”

“Where is it supposed to land?”

“Well...” He reached into his coat pocket and took out what I recognized to be his Sonic Screwdriver. He pointed it at various direction “Somewhere in that area.” he pointed at the direction we had walked to get here.

“Seems we’re going the same way.” I told him with a smile.

“Yes, it does seem like that.” he replied.

We walked along the road. ZuperDerpy and Ditsy were talking behind us, while I walked next to The Doctor.

        “So you’re telling me that he crashed a car, found Ditsy, drove back, and lead you to me while he was in this strange ‘trance’?” The Docor asked after I finished explaining the series of event that lead us here.

        “Yes.” I answered.

        “And you never thought of calling the police and  never suffered any severe injuries?” He asked in a strange tone.

        “That’s actually... a good point...” I said as I began to think back “ZuperDerpy kept saying it was destiny.”

        “That’s stran-” The Doctor tried to say, but was interrupted by a strange noise. It the familiar sound of the TARDIS, but it was nowhere to be seen. I looked back and saw that Ditsy was wearing a strange necklace that seemed to glow with the rhythm of the sound. “The TARDIS has landed.” The Doctor said in strange tone. He took the sonic screwdriver out and began to point it more specifically. “Got it!” he said as he ran towards where the Sonic Screwdriver was pointing.

We followed him. Strange thing is, I wasn't surprised when he lead us to our house. He walked up to the door, and pointed the Sonic Screwdriver’s light to the door knob. The knob clicked and he opened the door. He walked in and saw the TARDIS in the middle of the room, our table crushed under it. The Doctor walked up next to it and rubbed his hand against the side of the great Blue Box.

        “She’s a beauty.” He said with a smile.

        “You broke our table.” I said.

        “What? You live here?” The Doctor asked in a surprised tone.

        “Yes. And you broke our table.” I repeated.

        “Why did the TARDIS land here? When it on autopilot, it usually land in open areas...” He said deep in thought, ignoring my comment.

        “So what now?” ZuperDerpy asked

        “I need to take Ditsy back.” The Doctor answered.

        “Already?” ZuperDerpy asked in a sad tone.

        “Can’t we stay a little bit longer?” Ditsy asked.

        “I’m sorry, but I don’t think we can. The only way that we were able to get here was through a hole between our dimension. The way we got through was with magic.”

        “Then how did the TARDIS land?” ZuperDerpy asked.

        “Well, in this occasion we could have gone through it with or without magic, which is why I decided to test the theory out. I’m not sure how long it will be until the only way to cross the hole is with magic, and while we’re stuck here, we can’t use magic.” The Doctor explained “But, you can come with us.” He added.

        “Wait, what!?” I asked in amazement.

        “If you come with us, I’m confident I can find a rift I can use to send you two back using magic.”

“Are you serious!?” ZuperDerpy asked with excitement.

“Yes. I understand if you don’t want to...” He said as he looked at the TARDIS with a smile.

“No, no. We would be happy to join you two.” I answered.

“Then hurry up, and get ready.” The Doctor told us.

In a flash, me and ZuperDerpy ran to our rooms and changed. I put on my jeans, my running shoes, a dark blue T-shirt, and my dark gray hoodie. I grabbed my Ipod, and ran out of the room. I looked over at ZuperDerpy and saw him wearing a pair of light blue jeans, sneaker, and his favorite Mario hoodie that prevented me from seeing his normal T-shirt. I walked up to him.

        “You aren’t wearing your brony T-shirt, right?” I asked him

        “No, I’m not an idiot.” He asnwered

        “Are you to ready?” The Doctor asked as he stood in front of the closed TARDIS.

        “Yes.” Me and ZuperDerpy said in unison.

        “I’ve waited a long time to do this...” He said as he started rubbing his hand together. He stopped and raised one hand. He snapped his fingers and the TARDIS doors opened. “Can’t do that as a pony.” he walked inside.

Ditsy, ZuperDerpy, and me followed him inside. The TARDIS, and mind my stupidity, was bigger on the inside. Yes, it’s a cliche, but I HAD to say it.

        “Okay... I have the rift coordinates, and we can still cross it.” He said as he ran around the center module and looked at various different screens, pushing buttons and pulling knobs. “Here we go, ALLONS-Y!” He said right before me and ZuperDerpy lost our balance as the TARDIS began to move. Distsy, already familiar with the TARDIS, had already braced herself for the sudden movement. She giggled at us almost falling over.

        “I advise you to hold on, this is going to get bumpy.” The Doctor told us.

As we held onto the steel pillars in the TARDIS, we felt forces pushing us in various direction. The instant it started, I felt myself being pushed towards the pillar causing my head to smash against it and making me lose my grip. I fell towards where the force had been pulling me. I was slammed against steel handrails that had some sort of of material wrapped on the top horizontal bar. It didn't stop me from feeling the metal, but I was still happy  it was there. The movement soon subsided a few moments after that.

        “Are you alright?” Ditsy asked as she grabbed my arm and helped me up.

        “Fine...” I said trying to ignore the pain “Thanks” Ditsy let go and I began to rest against the handrail.

        “You hit it pretty hard... and you have a pretty nasty bruise.” ZuperDerpy said pushing my hair up to see where I hit myself.

Suddenly, there began to glow a strange light. Both Ditsy and The Doctor began to glow. There was a massive flash and both of them reverted to their pony form.

        “What was that?” ZuperDerpy asked while I just tried to ignore the pain.

        “Brilliant! Seems that the spell, when going to your dimension, turned us into a form that would be more appropriate, hence we became humans. Once it realized we were back, it turned turned us back into ponies, following the previous rule.” The Doctor answered in amazement.

        “So because we weren’t with you when the spell happened, it didn't affect us.” ZuperDerpy pondered

        “That’s exactly right!” The Doctor said.

The pain began to fade, and I decided to look around. I saw Ditsy in her normal Pegasus form, gray coat, blond mane and tail, bubbles cutie mark, and her derped eyes. I looked to see The Doctor in his pony form. He had a dark brown coat, with an even darker mane and tail, and his cutie mark was of an hourglass.

        “So where are we?” Zuperderpy asked.

        “Equestria, more specific, Canterlot... Question is, When? and Why did the TARDIS bring us here...?” The Doctor said.

        “There is one way to find out.” ZuperDerpy said with a grin. “We can go out there and find out.”

        “I’m not one to walk headfirst into danger.” The Doctor said in a serious tone. There was a tense atmosphere in the TARDIS. Suddenly, we all began to laugh. “Yes, let’s find out what’s out there.”

And like that, we left. We got to Equestria, we’re with The Doctor, and there’s a 99.9% chance that whatever reason the TARDIS had for bringing us here, we’re going to find out, and it may even be the death of us... I can’t wait!

Cancelled

What the title said.