Fall of the Rightful King-Clean

Arriving back home wasn’t complicated. It was stressful, though. I had to be checking in every direction constantly to keep sure that no one was following me. I didn't trust Derek. The radio reported that a riot was brewing near the center. Sounded like I got out just in time. Crap.

I parked outside my house. The lights were on. Alan would be home. Of course he'd be home - where the heck else would he be? So... did I tell him what Manuel had told me?

You know what? No. Absolutely not, and here's why. Manuel hadn't been truthful with us from the start. He used to work for Alexander. Why should I expect he'd been telling the truth about them? No, both he and Derek were trying to manipulate me. Both of them had told me not to trust the other. So for right now, I wouldn't trust either of them. Of course, Derek seemed like a much scarier guy than Manuel did, so Manuel's advice about him was probably a good thing to follow.

Alan was just inside, holding a beer can with magic. He looked up when I came in.

“Sup?” she asked.

"Uh... honestly?"

He nodded.

I told her most of what had happened, glossing over Manuel's lengthy story.

"Wow," he said. "So... that's screwed up. He's kind of got a point, though. The Order isn't doing anything."

"Maybe," I said, "but he's not exactly a good alternative."

"Yeah," Alan said. "Maybe we just kind of need to stay out of it." He took another sip of the beer.

“Hey, sit down,” she said. I sat on the couch. She stretched, leaving her hind hooves touching my leg. Oooo…kay. Probably an accident. I noticed that his hooves were painted green.

“Umm…” I said, and she pulled her hooves back. “Why are they green?”

She (dang it, he!) took a sip of beer. “Because the girl pony in my head wanted to try painting her hooves.”

“What?” I asked.

"Oh, wait, have you not met Paper Back?" Alan explained that he had an actual Equestrian mare in his head. Apparently she'd been pulled across when Alexander was doing his spell. She also slept a lot.

“So,” she said, “beer tastes really different.”

“Like, different good?” I asked.

She (dang it, he) tilted his head to one side. “Nah, just different different. It’s like… a lot more complex. Part of it tastes really… it’s not sweet, but it tastes dang good. There’s a lot of weird crap in it too." He took another sip. “Are you… ok?”

I actually smiled at that. “You’re a girl and a pony, and you’re asking if I’m ok?”

“Well, yeah,” he said. “I mean, you and Erin are taking this pretty bad. I mean, yeah, this kind of sucks, but it’s not the end of the world for me. Plus, I don’t know, you're actually dying.”

"Yeah, it's... I'm sorry I hadn't told you."

"Dude, I get it. It must have been really tough. I probably wouldn't have wanted to face it either."

I know he probably didn't mean it like that, but that hurt, especially because he was right.

"How is she?"

"Erin? She hasn't come out much today. Mostly just stayed in her room. She ate earlier, but I haven't seen her in hours. She's really broken up about you, man. The whole time she just kept wishing that she could talk to you and apologize. We kept saying we were going to call you, but she kept saying no, she wanted to talk to you in person."

"Ok. I'll... I'll talk to her."

"And... well... she's a pony now. Like, all the way. She's a pegasus."

"Oh," I said. "That's... pretty cool."

"Yeah." He took a drink. "So... you're dying."

"That's what the doctors say."

Alan looked at his front hooves for a few seconds, glanced up at me, and then back at the ground. Then she stood up.

"You know it’s still me, right?” She asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “Where is this going?”

“Just don't make this weird, dude.” He leaned over, glanced up at me, and then gently pushed on my neck with his magic.

"Get down here."

I raised an eyebrow, but then he put his front legs around my neck and hugged me. I hugged him back. After a few seconds, I pulled back, and saw him wipe his eyes with his... wrist? Whatever that joint is.

"Hey, there's... there might be a way we can fix this," I said. "Apparently whatever's keeping me from changing is just my own magic. And Manuel thinks that there might be a way-"

"Yeah, you said that, but then you said he used to work for Alexander! I mean, seriously, man, he can probably do whatever he wants, but why would he?"

"I don't know, but Manuel seemed pretty sure there'd be a way."

"Yeah, but... I'm just... we don't know if we can even trust the guy!"

“Pretty much,” I agreed. “I just don’t know what else to do. What about you? You going to make it?”

Alan sat there for a long time before responding. “You ever have something happen to you so freaking bad that you thought you’d die? And then, when you didn’t die, you were like “screw it, I’m going to make it?”

"Well, the last few days, and the whole death sentence of a diagnosis..."

"Yeah, yeah, ok, you have. When you do turn into something, it… it’s not the end of the world, but it sure as heck feels like it. But, if you’ve got dang good friends, it’s not that bad.” He took another sip of the beer. I looked down at his legs, then back at my own arms.

“How does it feel?” I asked.

Alan was quiet for another long time. “I don’t really feel like I got smaller. Everything feels bigger. You look like you’re freaking ten feet high or something. Having a tail is freaking weird – you just keep noticing it all of a sudden and it’s like you can’t stop thinking about it. Hooves are freaking weird too,” he said, getting up on his haunches and holding out a leg. “You watching this crap?” he asked, before putting his weight on the leg. I looked but wasn’t sure what I was supposed to see. “These things spread out when you walk on them. And they’re not just like hard all the way through. It's really just this hard nail thing around the frog."

"The... frog?"

"Crappy name, but I didn't pick it. It's the squishy part in the middle. Most of it’s sensitive, so I can feel the ground everywhere I walk.”

He stood up. “And it’s like, my mouth is longer, and everything smells totally different. Even smelling’s not the same. There’s just so much more of everything.”

“Everything’s pretty different,” I said. He nodded.

“Oh yeah. I mean, being a girl is weird too, but being a pony is just a whole different level of weird.” After a second, he kept talking. “It’s… not all bad, though. You get used to it. Plus, the magic part's pretty cool.” He held out his right front leg, which was right next to me. “It’s… freaking weird, but it’s… ok. Plus, having Paper Back in my head is actually turning out to be kind of cool."

He looked at his leg, turning it around. His muscles rippled under his skin. He had legs that reminded me of gymnasts. They weren’t bulging or veiny, but they were definitely strong. I held my arm up next to her leg, closing my fist. I tried to think of what it’d be like to look at my arm and see a leg like that instead.

“Seeing what it’d be like?” Alan asked.

“Yeah,” I answered, my voice a bit distant.

“What do you think you’re going to be? You know,” he added, "when we fix whatever's keeping you from changing. Didn't you say that'd be the best way to fix you?"

"The only way, yeah," The question wasn’t really unexpected – I’d wondered the same thing. “I don’t know,” I said. “It’d be pretty cool to get wings. Then I could go flying with Erin. Heck, I’d love to be turned into a pony, so I wouldn’t feel so dang weird around her. Still, magic would be pretty awesome too.”

“Oh yeah,” Alan said. “Unicorns are the best. We can freaking write and use tools and crap.”

“Got it,” I said. “If I have to change, I want to be an alicorn.”

Alan scrunched her nose. She probably didn't realize it, but it looked adorable. “The heck is-”

“It’s like a unicorn with wings,” I said. “They’re super powerful, get magic, can fly.”

“Crap, man, I want to be an alicorn. Think I’ll grow wings?” He looked at his back.

“Nah,” I said. “There’s only like four of them, and they’re all princesses anyway.”

Alan raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. One ear flopped down when he did that, and dang it if it wasn’t cute.

“You want to be a princess?”

“No!” I protested.

“You want to be a girl!” Alan said, and started laughing. “Crap, I didn’t see that happening.”

“No, I don’t want to be a girl,” I said. “Just… dang it, Alan!” He had actually fallen over onto his back, legs crossed in front of him.

“You’d have like a stupid crown and tea parties… I didn’t know you were a freaking four year old girl.” I glowered at him, shaking my head. “Hey, that might happen!” he said, smiling at the thought. “You could turn into a girl too!”

That made me pause. I looked ahead for a bit, shaking my head at that. “Nah, I can’t…” The problem was, I obviously could. Alan had, after all. He stopped laughing, and I felt his hoof on my arm again.

“You ok?” he asked, and I turned to look at him again. He’d stopped smiling, and looked concerned now. “Because it’s not the worst thing ever, and trust me, getting a freaking muzzle is a way bigger deal than getting girl parts.”

“Yeah, I’m good,” I said. “I just hadn’t really thought of it. This whole thing’s just messed up.” Alan tilted his head again, and that one ear flopped down.

“Ok,” I said, “this is going to be really weird…”

"Dude, what did I tell you about not making it weird?"

“I know! It's just... can I touch your ears?” I finished.

“Oh, yeah, just don’t be rough or anything. They’re freaking sensitive.”

“Oh,” I said, withdrawing my hand. “Then I won’t,”

“No, it’s ok!” he said, stepping next to me and turning to face the same direction as I did. “It feels good when people touch them, just don’t grab them or some crap.” I gently brushed the back of my fingers down one ear. He took a deep breath in when I did so, letting it out and leaning more against me. I kept rubbing the back of his ears.

“Wow,” I said, “you really like that.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, “when you’re a pony we’ll see what you do.”

“I just still can’t believe that a talking pony is sitting next to me and having a beer with me. It’s too weird.”

“You think it’s weird for you?” he said. “I’m the one who’s got a nose two freaking inches away from her face.”

“Yeah, that has to be… what did you say?”

He looked at me and put a hoof on his muzzle. “My nose is-”

“No, you called yourself a ‘her.’ You said ‘who’s got a nose two inches away from her face.’”

Alan looked at me for several seconds before looking back at the ground.

“I don’t know how to feel about that,” he said.

“Well,” I said, “do you still feel like a guy?”

“I just don’t feel like I changed, really.” He said. “I mean, yeah, fur, hooves, tail, whatever, but like me, as a person, I haven’t changed.”

I nodded and kept rubbing.

“This’d be so gay if I wasn’t a girl.” He said.

“I thought you said you didn’t think you had changed,” I replied, pulling my hand back. He stood upright again, looking at me, eyebrows narrowed again.

“Well, crap, man, am I gay?”

“I mean… you’ve been acting a little weird and have been touching me. Do you like girls?” I asked. There was a long pause before Alan replied, and then in barely a whisper.

“I don’t know. Brittney was playing with my hair earlier, and I didn’t feel anything then, and then when you touched my ears, it was really relaxing. I just felt really happy and… oh crap, I am gay!”

“Dude, maybe you’re just confused. You still mostly act like you, and you sure as heck talk like you. I mean, your body’s a girl, and Paper Back's definitely a girl, so maybe that’s why you feel like this.” He still looked down when he answered.

“This is freaking messed up. Dude, I’m sorry. It’s got to be because I’ve got Paper Back in my head.”

“Yeah,” I said. “That makes sense.”

“This was so awkward and…”

“It’s ok,” I said. After a moment, Alan spoke again.

“I just… can we talk about this another time?”

“Mm-hmm,” I replied, nodding. “No one can blame you for needing time to figure this crap out.”

I felt something warm and firm press itself against my arm. When I looked over, Alan had put his head there. After a few seconds like that, he poked me with his hoof.

“Do you still want me to rub your ears?” I asked.

He nodded.