Fall of the Rightful King-Clean

Chapter Seven

Ouch.

After a bit, I started blinking and realized where I was. Everything hurt, and everything felt freaking weird. I looked down at my arms. Freaking heck. Dang things weren’t arms anymore. I pushed one of my… no, not going to say it. One of my things against the door handle but those really are designed for hands. After a few tries I just whacked it in frustration, bit the handle, and pulled it back. The car door popped open and I pushed it open. Standing on four legs was something I just had to accept. Getting my backpack on was also a hassle, but I managed to wiggle my front half into it and then get it onto my back when I stood up.

I looked down the road ahead of me. No way that I could use my phone with these freaking… things, and I couldn’t drive anymore. Only one thing to do, I guess. I pushed the door lock button and then shut the door.

Let me tell you, I had a lot of freaking time to think as I walked. I had to keep thinking so I didn’t think about the feeling of…things on pavement or feeling my ears twitch around to different sounds or the weird empty feeling between my back legs. I really, really did not want to think about my freaking body. That wasn’t something I was ready to handle yet. I was trying to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do now.

I didn’t have any freaking idea. Sure, “get home” was the plan. This area was usually pretty calm and safe, or as safe as it can be. I was still a… a… I wasn’t as safe as I used to be, so I tried to walk fast. One good thing, if you really want to call it that, was that walking felt as natural as it had when I had two legs. Even though my legs felt really freaking weird and kept bending in weird ways and I didn’t even want to think about what I had at the end of my legs, they kept moving in a way that seemed to work. My hips, or what used to be my hips, felt like they were swaying in a way that I tried to stop, but every time I tried focusing on how I was walking, my freaking legs decided to derp out and trip over themselves.

So, what the heck was I supposed to do? I couldn’t exactly show up to my job… or see family… or go to college… I couldn’t think of a single freaking thing I could do like this. I didn’t even have my voice to prove to people that I was me. Oh crap… what if I couldn’t get home? What if someone found me and took me first? No, I knew this area. I could get home. I hoped that Nick wasn’t there. I didn’t have time for his brony crap and he’d probably be super psyched that I was like this.

Oh crap… what if he liked ponies like… that? I didn’t want to say “like me” and didn’t feel like I’d ever be comfortable calling myself a pony. Heck, I didn’t want to ever be comfortable saying that. But Nick… I mean, I thought that he was just weird for liking a little girl’s show, but what if he… wanted me? My freaking brain thought that was the time to start picturing him. He’d be so much bigger than me. Before I could stop myself, I thought about him trying to kiss me, running his hands over my fur. I started shaking  and then my stomach spasmed. I threw up into someone’s lawn, tears mixing with snot. Was this just my fate? Was I going to be used by someone?

No, I couldn’t believe that. I had to not believe that. Besides, Brittney and Erin lived with us. Erin wouldn’t be into his crap, so maybe she’d be willing to listen. I guess it didn’t change much – it’s not like I had any family nearby, or like I’d want to talk to them if they were. It was either going home and risk… that… or sleep in the streets. It was too freaking dangerous to stay out here overnight.

It started to rain as I got into my neighborhood. My… just call the freaking things what they are, Alan. My dang hooves hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurt, everything freaking hurt. It was dark. I was cold, wet, everything hurt, and my life was over. What a great freaking day. By the time I got to my door, I was shaking, completely soaked, and felt so weak I could barely put one hoof in front of another. By the way, I don’t know if what I had are like what horses have, but I thought those things were just hard and would keep me off the ground. Mine were still soft and sensitive in the middle, so those things were freaking sore, and I’d stepped on so many freaking rocks I lost count.

I slumped at the door, straining to raise a hoof enough to knock on the door. I really, really freaking hoped Nick was there. If no one was there, I probably wasn’t going to be able to open the door, and that meant I’d probably die right there. To be honest, that didn’t seem like such a bad idea. My life was already over. I didn’t exactly have anything left to live for.

I tried to knock, but I guess my freaking legs were too weak because no one came to the door. I was shivering and it only felt like it was getting colder. I let the backpack fall off of my back and unzipped a pocket with my teeth. I pulled out my keys, but it took me like two freaking minutes just to get my house key lined up. I tried to put it in, but dropped it instead. My teeth were starting to chatter and it was hard to put the key in, because I apparently hadn’t had enough crap for one freaking day.

One more time. I had to do it this time because I probably wasn’t going to be able to do it again. I was starting to lose feeling in my ears and hooves. Ok, Alan, come on. Get up, put your mouth right on the freaking doorknob and…

And slip, you clumsy piece of crap. I fell back onto my butt and just started crying. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even put my freaking key in the lock and so I was going to die out here in the cold. What a freaking day.

I heard someone next to me. I didn't even move, so it was probably good it was Nick and not some psycho or serial killer.

“Are you ok?” He asked.

Crap, right, he wouldn’t even recognize me.

“He… help… ple…help…” I tried to say. Dang it. I guess he got the message, though, because next thing I was inside and getting showered by Nick’s girlfriend.

Now, I’m not going to say I didn’t want them to warm me up or dry me off afterwards. I am so dang glad they were there, because they probably kept me alive. But holy crap I did not want to be touched. My body was so completely new to me and everything felt weird and wrong. I didn’t even want to think about what had happened to me. Every rub of the towel was like sandpaper. I felt like my skin was on freaking fire, and I didn’t even have the will to yell. Everything they touched – and they dried everything off – was a new reminder of how totally and completely screwed I was. The worst part was, I kind of liked it. It just felt nice to get my ears rubbed, and my sore muscles loved this. I hated every second of it, but I hated even more that it felt good. I liked having them touch me, and I hated myself for it.

Erin asked me something, but I didn’t quite catch what she said until the second time.

“Do you like coffee, hon?”

Yeah, normally, but I didn’t want anything. To tell the truth, I just wanted to go lie down and disappear. I shook my head.

“Ok, then, maybe warm milk or hot chocolate?”

Screw this. I get that they were just trying to help, but seriously, I just wanted to be left alone. I tried to harden my voice and get that impression through so they’d just leave me alone.

“I’m fine, I just really want to wake up.”

Well screw me if that wasn’t the most pathetic and sad voice I’d ever heard. I couldn’t even get mad properly. Erin moved my hair out of my face.

First, holy crap, they were big. I guess I was just short now. There was another horse girl in the back, looking at me. Heck, they all looked at me like I was a little kid who needed a band aid or something. Leave me the heck alone! I can handle myself! I was starting to feel a little better, and even felt like I was waking up a bit more. I guess getting dry and warm was most of the problem. My voice came out as sad and weak as ever.

“Nick, it’s me.” His eyebrow raised as he kept looking at me. “Freaking heck,” I muttered. “Dang it, Nick, I’m Alan.”

His and Erin’s eyebrows both shot up. They asked me what had happened, and I told them. I was crying again by the time I got to the end. I don’t know if that was because I was a freaking girl, or if freaking ponies just cried easily, or maybe it was just because I had been through so much freaking crap that I was just done. The red horse girl came close and started rubbing her nose against my neck.

That was a freaking weird feeling. It felt really, really weird, and I didn’t want anything to do with this. She was way too close to me and she was touching parts of me I didn’t want touched, by which I meant any dang part of this freaking body. But at the same freaking time, it felt really nice. She moved on from her nose to the side of her face and then her neck, nuzzling me, and it felt like getting a hug. I just felt warmer inside and even found myself responding to her touch, starting to turn to nuzzle her. I stopped that crap really quickly. I was not a freaking horse and wasn’t going to act like a freaking horse.

Crap, was I starting to think like one? I mean, I wasn’t thinking like an actual horse. At least, I didn’t think so. But what if I started acting like one of those pony things? Freaking heck, wasn’t it enough for me to lose my dang body? Did I have to lose my mind too?

“I’m just… I’m going to sleep,” I said, standing up and going to my room. I made it to the door before remembering that I was a dang pony, and just looked at the doorknob. Nick opened the door for me. I walked into my room and shut the door most of the way, though not enough that I wouldn’t be able to just pull the door back open. When I went to pull myself into my bed, I lost my balance and fell onto my back, hitting my head. I let a yelp out and turned myself over, tears coming back to my eyes. I was just a freaking mess tonight.

Someone knocked on the door.

“Are you ok?” Dang it, Erin, I’m not five years old.

“Yeah,” I said. She didn’t press the issue. I pulled myself onto my bed and got into the blanket. Even lying down felt too freaking weird, and my mind was still going crazy with all the crap that had been happening. I guess, more than anything, I was just so dang scared. I was scared that this was going to last forever, that I was going to lose my mind and forget that I was human, or that I’d be taken over somehow by a girl’s personality. I was so pissed off that I had turned into this freaking pony. One of the worst things was how sensitive I was. Every freaking touch was like a firestorm in my nerves. None of it hurt, but I couldn’t even breathe without half a million reminders that I had lost my hands and balls. I felt like anything could hurt me now, and I huddled deeper inside my blankets, like I was trying to hide from the world or some crap. Freak, I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, but I did.

You want to know what it was like? It was like freaking torture. Everything was hurting me emotionally. Nothing was good about this situation and the single biggest problem, my freaking body, was literally all around me and I couldn’t get away from it.

After a bit of this, I started trying to think about what had happened and see if I couldn’t calm down a bit. Maybe if I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I needed to keep thinking about it until I figured it out. So, some crap happened to me that made me a pony and a girl. Fan-freaking tastic. I don’t think they exactly do surgeries for this kind of crap, so this was probably going to be forever. Freak, more than that, who had done this to me? Yeah, yeah, horse girl at the con probably infected me, but she seemed clueless about what had done it to her in the first place. Maybe the government was doing some kind of tests again and I’d gotten caught up in it.

Crap, that’d be a big freaking problem – they’d probably just take all of us and either kill or change Nick and Erin. I wondered if the other two I saw in the house knew what was going on. Probably not, since they’d be somewhere else if they were with the government. That’s assuming the government was even doing this. I kind of doubted that one, actually. Sure, they were either stupid and incompetent or (more likely) evil and just wanted us to think they couldn’t do anything right. That didn’t mean they could do something like this, though. People like me who knew what was really going on were always talking, and no one had said crap about some government plan to transform people into ponies. That part didn’t even make freaking sense. No, whatever did this probably wasn’t the US government. I wasn’t drugged, since everyone else had been reacting to my new body. So, this was for real, probably not the government, and probably forever.

What the heck was I even supposed to do now? Job chances were pretty much gone. I’d never be able to even open a freaking door again without help. I’d never have a chance with any girl, either. Crap, did I even like girls anymore? Did I like guys now? I felt sick as I thought about guys, both human and pony, coming close and touching me. No, screw that, I’d just go without before getting with a guy.

Could I even stop them, though? I could barely open a car door. Putting on a dang backpack took forever. I wouldn’t be able to stop any guy who wanted to use me. Freaking heck, I was stuck here, wasn’t I? This was forever. I was going to be helpless and scared for the rest of my life. I didn’t want to have to deal with guys wanting to freak me, or have to hide for the rest of my life. Maybe it would be better to just end it. One bang, one flash of pain and light, and then it’d all be over. That’s what stuck in my mind as I fell asleep.