Daring Do and the Bengay Balls
By: WhatTheFap
Daring Do looked down the aisles of the retail store, her keen eyes scanning the rows of consumer goods. She sneaked around the Wal-Mart with her mind set on one goal, finding where in this massive superstore she could find some god damn Bengay (Daring pulled a muscle in her left wing a few days ago, and she really needed something to ease the pain).
After looking through the lube aisle and the firearms aisle, Daring Do checked the medical and toiletry aisle. It was there that her eyes gazed upon what she desired most: Bengay. She grabbed it off the shelf and squeed in delight. She went up to the checkout, paid for her items, and then got out of there.
With the tube of Bengay in hand, Daring Do hopped into her trusty Honda Accord and started her expedition home. It was normally a 27 hour drive, but Daring Do was so anxious to get home and slather a handful of Bengay on her wing, she made it home in 15 minutes.
When she walked in the door, she threw all the other groceries and such that she bought onto the floor, they weren't important to her right now. Daring Do stared at the wonderful prize that she held in her hands.
"Finally.... After waiting for so long... At last, I get to rub this magical ointment on my wing! AND FEEL ITS WONDERFUL WARMTH!!" she yelled.
Daring Do opened up the tube and squeezed out a handful of the cream into her hoof. She chuckled.
"Heh heh heh... THIS will do juuuuuuust fine..." Daring muttered to herself. However, just as she was about to let her hoof and wing come together with a thick layer of Bengay between them, she felt a blunt force strike her in the back of the face. Everything went cold, her eyes rolled back into her head, and she collapsed on the floor.
Daring Do awoke about 7 hours later, with her arms and legs tied to the posts of a bed. She surveyed the room with tired eyes, scoping out where she was. Daring Do did some mental investigation and figured out that she was in a cheap motel room. Only one villain would choose a venue like this: Ahuizotl! Daring struggled at the restraints that held her to the bed. It was completely useless; there was no chance of escaping. Each second she struggled, she became more infuriated; her wing was still sore and STILL needed Bengay.
"Ahuizotl! I KNOW you're somewhere around here! What's the meaning of this??" She yelled into the emptiness.
From the void motel room, Daring Do heard maniacal laughing. Suddenly, Ahuizotl appeared in front of her, with a sneer.
"At last! I've finally captured you, Daring Do! And now that you're in my clutches, I'm going to harness the power of the Sapphire Toaster and RULE THE WOOORRLD! And there's nothing you can do to stop me!" he ranted.
Daring tugged at her restraints. He was right; she had no hope of breaking free anytime soon. Even if her wing didn't hurt, it wouldn't do her any good.
"Hey Ahuizotl..." Daring said.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"Do you think you can get me some Bengay? My wing really hurts..." she kindly asked.
"Sure, I guess.... If you're going to be here for a while, I guess it'd be just plain rude to leave you in pain too..."
Ahuizotl grabbed his car keys. "I'll be back in a few with that uh... Bengay, was it?"
"Yeah, that's it."
"Okay. Be right back."
Ahuizotl came back 20 minutes later, with two tubes of Bengay.
"They had two kinds there: Long-lasting, and Quick-relief. I didn't know which one to get you, so I got them both." he explained.
"Oh, thanks!" Daring said.
"Which one do you want on your wing?"
"How about we try the Quick-relief... I need relief pretty quickly after all..."
"Okay!"
So Ahuizotl grabbed the tubes of Bengay and walked over to Daring Do. He set the Long-lasting Bengay on the nightstand next to the bed, and then squeezed a hoofful of Quick-relief into his paw. He started to rub the heavenly cream onto Daring's wing; it twitched a little at first from the pain, but it quickly stopped once the Bengay soothed it.
Once that was said and done, Ahuizotl got an evil idea. He saw how happy Daring Do was now that her wing was relieved, so he decided to turn her happiness into discomfort and pain. He grabbed the tube of Long-lasting Bengay and squeezed out a hoofful.
"Ahuizotl, what are you doing? My wing is fine!" Daring said.
"This isn't for your wing, Daring Do..." he said with a sneer.
"Then what could you possibly need it for! I mean, I might want some for my other wing cause it might get lonely... But right now, I don't need an- AHHH!" Daring was cut short of her rant when Ahuizotl started to apply the Bengay to her testicles!
"What was that for?? My balls aren't sore!" Daring exclaimed.
"You'll see... Oh you'll see...." Ahuizotl said as he opened the door to exit the motel. "Oh, and by the way, have fun with your last six hours in Equestria!" Ahuizotl armed a bomb with a six-hour timer and then left Daring Do in the motel room, with her arms and legs tied down to a bed, and Long-lasting Bengay on her balls.
The effects of the Bengay kicked in almost immediately after Ahuizotl left the motel. It felt like flames, directly on Daring's sensitive scrotum. As each second passed, the pain in Daring's testicles only increased without mercy. Daring felt like her scrotum was going to catch on fire, and she would die by explosion with a flaming nutsack.
Daring scanned the room for ANYTHING that she could use to escape, and then cure her burning testicles. Her watchful eyes spotted a knife in the on the table next to the ticking time bomb. But it was too far away, and Daring would never be able to reach it, since she couldn't move her arms and legs. She lowered her head in disappointment.
"Well crap... I'm never going to get out of here..." She said with a tear.
Suddenly, while Daring was looking down, she noticed that her scrotum was hanging really low.
"Of course! Bengay is a muscle relaxer! So my nutsack is gonna keep relaxing and descend until it wears off!" Daring said to herself.
With carefulness and precision, Daring bucked her hips forward and flung her balls at the table across the room. Her ballsack reached across the 10 foot gap, stuck to the knife, and then slowly dragged back to her, kind of like one of those sticky hands. With another pelvic thrust, she flung her scrotum, with the knife stuck to it, up in the air. Almost by magic, the knife landed directly on the rope that tied down her left arm.
"Yes!" She exclaimed.
Daring grabbed the knife and untied all of her other limbs. She got up off the bed and walked into the bathroom, with her scrotum dragging behind her about 7 feet. She came back out about 15 minutes later with Bengay-free balls. All she had to do now was defuse the bomb, and then find and defeat Ahuizotl. However, Daring was lazy, and decided not to defuse the bomb, since that takes work.
Daring knew exactly where Ahuizotl would be. She would be able to find him working at Wal-Mart, since every plan to take over the world starts with becoming the head of Wal-Mart, and using the superstore's power to control stupid consumers with the Sapphire Toaster.
Now that Daring could use her wing, she flew over to Wal-Mart. Sure enough; Ahuizotl was working at the checkout as a bag boy. He spotted Daring Do in the sky, and walked out into the parking lot.
"Daring Do?? No, it can't be!" he shouted in denial.
"Oh, but it is!" Daring said as she descended from the sky. As she drifted down, she kicked him in the face. He fell and crashed face first to the asphalt and cement, and the Sapphire Toaster fell out of his pocket upon impact.
"Agh! I've been defeated! Curse you Daring Do!" Ahuizotl shouted, even though she was 2 feet away.
"Haha, I'm not done yet..." she snickered.
With lightning speed, Daring Do ran into the superstore and came back out a few minutes later with EXTRA-SUPER-JESUS-CHRIST'S-NIPPLES LONG-LASTING Bengay. She squeezed the entire tube into the crotch area of an extra-tight jockstrap and put it on Ahuizotl.
"Haha! You really think this will stop me?" He said, standing up. "Why, I don't feel anything yet! Your plan is stupi- ah. Oh... Ahhh. AHHHHHH! OH GOD IT BURNS! JESUS CHRIST! MAKE IT STOP!!"
Almost as quickly as he had gotten up, Ahuizotl fell over on the ground, grabbing his crotch and writhing in pain. Daring Do walked over to the incapacitated villain and picked up the Sapphire Toaster.
"You won't need THIS anymore!" Daring said, putting it in her saddlebag thingy, AKA her 'European Shoulder Bag'.
"Just take it! Leave me alone to wallow while my testicles slowly die..." Ahuizotl said. "But once this wears off, I'll be back!"
Daring smirked as she flew home. Ahuizotl was going to be writhing in pain for a looooong time....
Oh yeah, that motel blew up when Daring got home. She heard it, processed what happened, shrugged, and then played some Super Mario Sunshine until Ahuizotl came up with another idea to take over the world.
The End.
