I remember back when I used to be so obsessed with this cartoon called my little pony. I would even set all of my wallpapers to something related to this show, and I would even mod games so that I too could be a cartoon horse. Those were the days, but after what I have seen, I don't think I could ever go back, I just couldn’t. I’m sorry my fellow pony lovers, it’s no longer safe to call myself one of you.
I remember back when I was a freshman, back then I was quite in the closet about it. Watching the show at night when nobody was around, and hoping that my parents wouldn't find out. One day, While I was on planetminecraft.com looking around for a fun server to play on, I found the server that had inspired me to create it. This server was known as PonyMC.
I didn't end up playing on this server until 2 months after I had put it into my Minecraft server list, due to the fear of my friends and family possibly finding out that I was a brony. As I started to play on the server, I was greeted by one of the admins of the server. He asked me if I wanted to have a nickname. I, of course, wanted to be Derpy Hooves, but apparently that was already taken. So I decided to go with my second choice, Daring Do.
As I obsessively played on this server over the course of a week or so, I started to feel as if I was Daring Do, adventuring out into the blocky landscape of Minecraft, going where no other pony has gone before. It was as if I was injecting my soul into the mind of another entity in a completely different world. That was probably one of the best experiences I have ever had. I still cannot explain why I can hear these voices when I role-play. It’s almost like a sixth sense to me. This is probably why I loved to role-play so much.
As I started to grow bored with roleplaying as daring do, I had decided that I wanted to create a Pegasus device. I was always that type of person who wanted to “sit back and watch the world burn”. It’s just in my nature to be dark and evil. I JUST CAN'T HELP IT!!! So, anyways, I had decided to stop roleplaying as Daring Do and start roleplaying as Wooden Toaster, because it made more sense in my head at the time to play as wooden toaster, due to the fact that he created the original Rainbow Factory song, even though Rainbow Dash was the manager of this facility, as stated in the fanfic. I didn't exactly read the fic until a year later.
As I started to gather the materials to build this… THIS… FUCKING GODDAMN EVIL MACHINE, JUST KILL IT, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD PUT THEM THROUGH SUCH TORTURE YOU DEMONS!!!… I apologize for that sudden outburst. It’s just that after… the incident, everything that I used to love doing in the fandom has turned into disgust as I look back at the monster I was and still am.
This story just continues to grow harder and harder to write, as I can't stop thinking about how this whole thing had ended, but I will continue to push forward.
So, as I was saying, I was gathering materials to build the Pegasus device, when I felt as if wooden toaster’s mind from some other universe was saying “please, don't do this, I didn't even build the contraption”. These pleas to not create such a device and to stop penetrated my very conscience, rattling my soul, as I role-played as wooden toaster. After about the fifth or sixth time these pleas for stopping occurred, I had an idea.
That was when I decided to create “it”. A brand new pony or OC that would be the original designer and creator of this device. And not complain when I decide to build something as FUCKED UP as a rainbow factory.
Little did I know the consequences that would follow years later, as I am writing this. I JUST HAD TO CREATE A MONSTER…
After the completion of the first rainbow factory on that server, I started to feel the OC talk, scratching terrible thoughts and ideas into my mind as I role-played with him. Some of the common things it would say to me are: “Tell them to go to the rainbow factory, so that they can help us grace the skies with beautiful rainbows” or “extract their spectra” and even “why did you create me?” I felt as if I was a psychotic two-faced maniac with the sole purpose of being dark, cold, and evil.
As the days continued to pass by, I was invited into the PonyMC skype group, where I started to role-play with them. I was always my OC back then, being as dark and evil as I could possibly be.
When the last days of school I drew my first sketch of “it”. The thing that I drew that day during school… it was a terminator-like cyberpegasus, with some of its skin gone revealing an endo skin of some metal alloy. Its coat was a shade of burnt chestnut. It had a robotic glowing red eye on its right side and a normal eye that had blood red pupils. It also had a mane that was streaked with dark red and grey. Its mane was worn in a bushy bowl sort of way. And its cutie mark, it was 2 gears with blood dripping from them.
As summer flew around, and I was done with my freshman year, my “in the closet” attitude towards being a brony disappeared. I had also met a few friends in the PonyMC skype chat, even though I stopped playing Minecraft. Most of that summer was pretty normal for me. But something happened one day that I just can't explain.
It was a Tuesday in the middle of summer when I had decided to role-play with a few of my friends. It seemed like a normal role-play, until I felt as though “it” was trying to inject itself into my mind, a reverse of what usually happens. But that wasn't even the weirdest part, “it” started telepathically saying things to me, like “I'm going to show you what it feels like to be controlled” and “why did you create me?” this gave me chills for the rest of the night, and I couldn't even move from my seat.
As months past, and summer ended school came around. I was a sophomore in high school now. I got over that whole role playing incident through the myth that “it had all been in my head”. And that “it was late at night”. I was still a bit scared to role play after that, but I still did anyway.
I remember the last role-play that I did with the PonyMC skype group before it was almost completely banned. The mind of “it” overpowered my own sixth sense, and started to completely take over. it felt as if my free will was completely destroyed, and I was a complete slave, doing whatever “it” wanted me to do. Then “it” started to telepathically communicate to me saying things like “this is exactly what it feels like”, “it only gets worse from here” and “why do I exist?”
My mom walked in as this was going on, and of course I had skype open at the time. She wondered why I was roleplaying about ripping discord’s eyeballs out of his sockets as I slowly and painfully eat his organs out of a small incision in his belly. Of course, I never wrote that, but I somehow got the birds and the bees talk because of it. I pretty much stopped role-playing for a year after that.
It wasn't until recently I started drawing “it” more frequently. And it wasn't until recently I had seen “it” in MLP. I don't know how or why, but I swear to god, I saw him standing in the weather factory during the episode “Tanks for the Memories”.
And only recently did I decide to re-watch this episode to see if I could find “it”. I just can’t unsee the thing I saw when I rewatched that episode. When I paused the dailymotion video at the scene where I thought I saw “it”, “it” ran up WITH THE VIDEO PAUSED might I add and said “why did you create me?” then, the internet went down and all I could see on the dailymotion page was a hyper realistic drawing of “it” and a huge grin. “it” was also holding a cutie mark, that kind of looked like one of my internet friend’s OC’s cutie mark that I haven't talked to in forever.
This has been the final straw for me; I just can't take this insanity anymore. I have been traumatized by these events; so much so that I am more than likely rush typing this whole story, and I, as well, no longer wish to be a part of this fandom. I swear YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME EVEN IF YOU CAN'T SEE HIM IN THE EPISODE, I SWEAR. I just wish I never created that… that OC.
