Indeed, what exactly is "love"?
Celestia had been pondering this concept for a millennium, and has yet to come up with a reasonable answer. She's made love to others, occasionally finding short but pleasurable company in mares, stallions, bugs, half-breeds, and even the rare Breezy over the years. They had surely felt true love for her; yet Celestia has never in her long life felt that deep desire, that burning passion, that feeling of wholeness two beings experience when together and that soul crushing longing when apart from one another when they're in love. She has felt joy, sadness, anger, disgust, even fear. She's felt familial love, and even maternal love, yet she has never felt true love.
Yet over the past few years, almost everyday at the same time, in the same place, she would feel a most strange sensation deep within her. Butterflies and Fluttershys danced about her abdomen, and her forehead felt warmer than if the sun itself consumed her. Her chest began to heave as her heart raced for miles. Her wings would do a little jig while jets of magic erupted from the tip of her horn. 'Twas a truly funny sight when seen by prying eyes, and it embarrassed her to no end. Due to their cyclical nature, Celestia had begun to expect them and schedule some time alone to wait it out.
One would immediately assume Discord to be behind such antics, but they would be wrong for once. No, the truth of the matter is all the more queer, for this altogether unusual dance occurred upon reading a particular scroll, one always signed, "Your Faithful Student."
A niggling thought had been eating at her over the past few days. Is this, perhaps, what it feels like to be in love? After all, every day at the same time in the afternoon, the young mare who wrote such letters would prepare and send a report of her daily activities and progress to her wonderful mentor and guardian. And every day a few seconds later, the odd sensations would begin anew, one after the other in perfect order.
Celestia loved her Faithful Student maternally, she knew this for certain. But could these reactions also be signs that the love she has been searching for all these centuries is right in front of her? A love so profound, and deep that it transcends everything? She began to believe so; it's just like in the novels she's read, after all.
Her limited understanding showed after a ignominious conversation with some of the castle staff over how best to isolate and examine the magic of love. At the time, she was politely corrected that no such magic existed (though this was later disproven through the ascension of a third Alicorn Princess). This led Celestia to begin doing some actual research deep within the Canterlot Archives.
A consequence of this course of action led to the creation of the infamous Pony Breeding Research Project, a study comparing how long relationships lasted between arranged marriages versus conventional dating, and the impact they had on the children sired by these couples. While the study's results were rather insightful, though the rumors of Celestia trying to control the breeding of famous bloodlines to create a master pony class remained long after the study was lost to the archives.
Several weeks had passed since her research had began, and with each passing day, her certainty grew firmer. This had to be love. Celestia began to become obsessed with the thought. She looked forward to her daily scroll and relished in the pain that resulted. The more scrolls she read, the worse the symptoms became. This in turn only fueled her desire to fully understand what she thought she felt.
Successive readings of the same scroll yielded lower returns of the symptoms and they completely failed to show after about 5 readings. This distressed Celestia to the point that eventually she ordered her Faithful Student to write 2 scrolls per day, and later 3.The young mare never seemed to showed any signs of doubt or frustration at the increasing workload, if anything it fed her enthusiasm ever more.
And yet, with all the time she spent researching love, the Princess of the Day failed to notice she had been spending less and less time with the subject of her research. It didn't go unnoticed, but the mare seemed content either way, just happy to be with the Princess. The relationship continued this way for several months. It eventually became the talk of the town, though nopony in their right mind dared mention it in front of the Princess.
It should be noted that not once during all this did Celestia ever consider telling her Faithful Student how she felt, or even asking for her help with the research. This wasn't out of embarrassment or fear, the thought had simply never crossed her mind.
Something wass off. Today's note had yet to arrive, and it was already 10 minutes late. This was most perplexing for a number of reasons, and Celestia began to worry it wouldn't come. Had all her research been for naught? Had her Faithful Student stopped caring? Shaking the bad thoughts from her head, she presumed her student was merely late for the first time.
Taking a moment to calm herself, Celestia turned to resume her work when suddenly the symptoms took root. A fierce, burning sensation clawed at her stomach and head, as her whole frame shook violently. Her wings spasmed intensely; magic flares fired out out her horn before exploding into prismatic fireworks, illuminating the twilight sky. Her heart was tearing itself apart as she blinked back tears.
Just as she thought the convulsions were about to stop, a gout of green flames erupted from her mouth. The room was engulfed in flames for several seconds, before the fire dissipated without a trace. Not a single speck remained and not one inch of the room was scarred by the apparently magical flames. At this point Celestia collapsed, exhausted from the seizure.
And there, laying on the floor in front of her muzzle was a simple scroll with a red sun emblazoned seal: her Faithful Student. Upon using the last of her reserves of magic to open the scroll, Celestia sighed as she read what lay inside. After dragging a quill to her mouth, she hoof-wrote her short reply.
"Dear Sunset Shimmer, my Faithful Student,
Cancel the Dragon Fire Teleportation Experiments until further notice. It appears to cause adverse reactions with long term use in ponies.
Signed,
Princess Celestia."
Author's Note
Evil laughs for eternity.
