My Little Tia… and Others

Ch.2 Little Miss Moonshine

This mysterious thing John suspected was a raccoon, and what Tia had called a… Lulu? Had descended the rest of the way down the living room window, and fell into the short shrubs of the front yard. John pushed back the piano bench as he stood up, and cautiously walked towards the front door.

In preparation to dissuade wild animals, he picked up a stick he kept close by the entrance to his home. This stick was actually a broken golf club, which he didn’t want to throw away. It was a sort of a funny story, and a reminder of why he didn’t really care for golf…

The handle and shaft were still in place, and made for a good thwacking object, perfect to dissuade pesky raccoons and possums that often plagued the neighbor hood. With his carbon fiber beat stick in hand John placed his hand on the door knob.

Before the door was opened he felt a little nudge on the back of his leg. He turned around and saw little Tia look up at him, with her eye that wasn’t bandaged, and spoke small words full of longing.

“I wanna see Lulu.”

Her lower lip trembled and it looked like she was about to cry. Her eye also watered a little, and the moonlight that poured in through the window gave her reflective orb a sparkly quality. This only served to confuse John, apparently Tia knew what had hit his window? Also she wanted to see whatever it was very badly. Then there was a loud gurgle noise, which emanated from the alabaster pony child. After the noisy burble she sat back on her haunches, and put one hoof to her petite gut.

“I got a tummy ache.”

“Um, stay right there for now, I’ll be back in a minute.”

A warning finger tapped her small muzzle and got her attention. When she looked back up she saw the sympathetic, yet thoroughly confused face of the man. His look was stern when he warned her to stay put, but she had feelings that didn’t want to wait. She knew who was outside.

“But Lulu! –gurgle-… ooo, owy.”

John just sighed, and picked her up under her fore-legs, then placed her on the couch. He gave her the most confident look he could, full of assurance.

“I'll be back.”

Her lower lip continued to tremble a bit, but she remained quiet and nodded. The gurgle noises didn’t really die down either, and that caused John to worry more, but something outside needed to be addressed. Something Tia thought she knew about. John would really need to sit down and get as much information as he could out of this little horse alien, and soon, otherwise he didn’t want to comprehend what all of this could mean for his psyche.

His hand found it’s way back to the door knob, and it was twisted open. He peered out the crack of the door, found nothing too alarming, then opened it the rest of the way and stepped out into the night air.

The carbon stick was raised, and ready to swat and any aggressive suburban animals, there were probably a few coyotes out tonight too, and John didn’t fancy picking up rabies. There was one squirrel incident a few years ago…

In any case, he moved towards the shrubs, where the ambiguous creature had fallen earlier, and as he approached there was a slight rustle in the foliage. He paused at the movement and tried to look closely at what it was.

There was a pair of teal eyes that peered out between the leaves, and they were full of fear. The darkness of the night, and shade of the bushes, and inherently dark hue of the creature he looked at, made it all but impossible to discern it’s shape.

“Hey, get on out of there scrub.”

John’s approach was the same as when any animal that he didn’t want got on his property. He also had the dog pound’s number posted in his kitchen because there seemed to be an unusual number of strays that made it to his neighborhood. Dogs that loved to leave little presents on his lawn.

The pair of eyes remained where they were, but they fixed on John, and they were caught in an awkward stare of sorts. He just grunted, whatever this thing was, it was fairly bold. Just like the raccoons that came here, seriously, those things could be pelted with baseballs and wouldn’t care. The garbage cans would still be emptied and spread all over the alley by morning.

Uninterested in just standing around, John decided to take the next step and use other methods to coax the creature out of his shrubbery. The headless golf club was thrust forward and made some exploratory pokes into the plants. On the second or third poke he prodded something with a softer composition than shrub roots. The loud squeak that came out surprised him and he jumped back. The stick was raised defensively on instinct, and he looked over the exact location within the shrubs.

“Eeeee!”

In response to his rapid movements the little creature had rustled through the plants again, and popped out from the shrubs in a small bound. John had expected something more of a hiss or growl, not that weird little squeal. When he found the figure that jumped out of his plants his eyes narrowed in confusion. That thing didn’t move like a raccoon, possum, or dog. Rather than a lumbering gait, it galloped?

There was a tap on the living room window from inside the house, and John saw Tia pressed up again the window. Her muffled voice cried out, and her head nodded towards the small dark figure that ran out into the street.

“Lulu!”

The man shook head his like a wet dog, and he looked in same direction as Tia. When the dark figure made it to the asphalt street he could hear it’s feet make a distinct clop as it moved… hooves, not feet. That probably meant it was another…

He rolled his eyes and sighed, what was this special brand of strange that had hit him today? In the midst of his thoughts, he unconsciously found himself on the street in a steady jog, and in pursuit of the creature that Tia called Lulu. Questions could come in another minute.

“Hey, get back here!”

When he called out the small pair of teal eyes glanced back at him, widened, and then the pace of the little clip-clop picked up. So John increased his stride, and he found that he was faster than whatever it was. The small thing didn’t even come up to his knees in height from what he could discern.

By the time they were half way down the street, and John almost on top of his quarry, the little creature veered to the side. The sudden move almost made him trip up, and he saw the dark form bolt towards another neighbor’s yard. His target gained some ground between them, as John tried to make up for his stumble.

As he ran onto the lawn of his neighbor he recognized the fence. There was a fairly sizable gap in the chain link, and that was precisely where the Lulu animal dove for. What the hooved creature didn’t see was the large “Beware of Dog” sign that was posted right on the fence.

“Heya, Lulu? Lulu! Come back here!”

John slowed and stopped right outside the fence, and didn’t dare try to scale it. His quarry had finally stopped once it had scrambled under the fence to the other side. Both of them panted a little, and John could finally get a good look at what he chased.

It was another freakin’ little pony! Although she was dark blue, with a brighter blue mane and tail… She? How could he tell these things? Whatever… and she had wings and a horn too!

“You better get out of there Lulu… or Mr.Boss will add you to his list of victims.”

In response she gave him this uppity frown, and blew as raspberry. Ponies can blow raspberries? He didn’t know anything about horses, again, but this was probably another weird alien. So, whatever, that wasn’t the issue at the moment.

There was a loud bark on the other side of the fence, and it caused both John and Lulu to jump. A black and brown rottweiler bounded around the corner and bore an intimidating snarl full of doggy teeth. It wore a large red color, and a tag that read “Mr. Boss”.

The little blue pony didn’t even look back before she darted for the gap in the fence. In her panic she got stuck. Wings, mane, and tail are messy things to try and go under a chain-link fence with. John’s own eyes were wide and he moved to the fence and attempted to untangle the dark blue ball of panic.

When the large dog reached the fence John hadn’t managed to get Lulu all the way out, and the canine fangs sank into… her tail. Not the meaty part of her tail, but the long hair that hung off of it. John suddenly found himself in the middle of a tug-o-war with a hundred thirty pound dog, and the tether was a little pony that was no more than twenty or thirty.

“AAAAAAHHH!!!”

The little pony shrieked!

“GRRRARARARARRR!”

Growled Mr. Boss.

“Get off!”

The John shouted.

He grabbed her tail, right above where the little nub ended, so that the only thing being tugged between him and the dog was hair. The pressure was relieved from her little spine. She still screamed loudly, but John no longer worried that he would tear anything off, or pull out joints. So he pulled a little more roughly, and was frustrated that the dog didn’t give.

“Come on, let go!”

“Grrrrrrrr!”

“Waaaaah!”

John then remembered he had his carbon fiber stick nearby. He let one hand off of Lulu’s tail, and reached for it. The loss of grip allowed Mr. Boss to pull the pony and man closer to his side of the fence, and John found he didn’t like the sensation of hard metal links being pressed into his knuckles.

The carbon fiber rod poked through the fence, and gave canine a hard jab in the nose. Stunned by momentary pain, the dog let go, and with the new found freedom John pulled the little pony the rest of the way out.

There were snagged hairs that remained behind all over the fence, and a few feathers. The rottweiler barked angrily at the loss of a potential chew toy, and jumped at the fence. The metal links held back the canine, and John could breathe a little more easily. The proximity was still a problem for the tiny pony though, and she bawled in a terrible fright.

To help relieve some tension he picked her up and held her close. Her small barrel rested on his fore-arm and she buried her face into the crook of his other arm. John picked up his stick and began to walk back to his own house.

He didn’t have any real anger towards Mr. Boss, he was in his own yard, and there was a warning sign. The terrified creature in his arms was more of a concern at the moment, and John shuddered at the thought of what could have happened. The last cat that had gotten into that yard hadn’t come out in one piece... Some neighbors had filed complaints, but the dog had been allowed to stay.

When he was half way back to the house, and the barks from his neighbor’s yard had become distant, the pony stopped her shiver. She relaxed against John’s body heat and loosed the tight grip she held his fore-arm with.

“Aw there there, no more Mr. Boss to worry about.”

Then John felt something wet and warm spread over his arm. It took a few seconds for him to register what it was.

“Gaw! Man… why…”

Minus ten cute points…

Lulu meeped when she was suddenly held out at arms’ length, where she continued to drip a bit. John glared at his wet fore-arm, at least he hadn’t worn long sleeves. The pony had the decency to look a little embarrassed.

He slung her under his wet arm, and paid special attention, in case he would need to distance himself again. The rest of the walk back to the house proceeded quickly enough, and when he reached the lawn he saw Tia was still at the window. After she had seen him, and what he carried, she turned around and jumped off the couch.

Even from outside he could hear a muffled thud and “Owy!”. Before he could open the door and enter he heard a pitter patter from the door being tapped from the inside. The white one was sure excited, and he just sighed. It wasn’t too late in the evening, but it had been a whole day, and he was tired.

“Just a sec.”

The door was opened a second later, and Tia was there, she had an excited little smile and bounce in her movements, hampered by the casts. Her one free ear was perked, and she looked right at the blue pony under John’s arm.

“Lulu!”

The blueberry fur-ball looked back right away and started to wiggle, she wanted down.

“Tia!”

“Hey… ya… Now scoot there, I need to get inside.”

John pushed Tia to the side with foot, and she easily slid over the wood flooring, then he turned around and closed the door. After the house was secure he kneeled down close to the small white pony, and put on a friendly face, despite the exasperation he felt.

“Tia, I need to ask you some questions, is that alright?”

“Um.”

There was another loud gurgle from her stomach, and her body lurched in a spasm. Before he recognized the symptom for what it was, projectile pecan cheese cake vomit coated his leg and foot.

His eyes closed, and he held them there for a long moment, when he opened them back up yep… there was still vomit over his leg, shoe and the floor. Tia just sat there with her mouth open, some of the unpleasant substance dripped from her chin, then she burped. After that she perked up.

“Tummy aches gone!”

“You know what, I think I’ll just sleep on it tonight.”

Minus ten and plus five cute points… still a negative…

There was pony pee on his arm, pony puke on his leg, and both of the little critters were dirty themselves. He grabbed Tia and slung her under his other arm. The closest bathroom was upstairs, and he tried to take as few steps as possible to get there, as each step made a little cheese cake mark on the floor.

When he made it to the door he made a short awkward jumble as he positioned himself with two ponies to twist the knob. A moment later the bathroom was accessed, and he placed both of his burdens in the tub. Their little hooves clunked noisily against the plastic surface, and they fumbled about and slid as they tried to right themselves.

While the ponies tried to find a way to prop themselves up right, John grabbed some toilet paper to wipe down his leg and arm of the worst of it. The barf between the shoe laces was the most difficult to clean, and he gave up after it was mostly done. There was more to clean on the floor in the living room and stairs…

“Stay here, and I’ll be back in a minute.”

“Ok.”

Tia responded compliantly. Lulu just blew another raspberry at him. And he narrowed his eyebrows at that, what was with the attitude? Anyway, he didn’t waste any more time and closed the bathroom door behind. He was quick to run down stairs and get some cleaning supplies.

As he did the task of clearing the mess downstairs, he heard some more fumbled movements in the bathroom above. There was another thud, and some crying. He rolled his eyes, and wasn’t quick about going back up stairs. John made sure the floor was clean before he returned, and muttered complaints under his breath.

“What happened now?”

As he opened the door he was greeted to the sight of Lulu’s hind legs as they kicked frantically, for her front half was stuck down in the toilet bowl. Her front hooves availed to nothing as they tried to push back against the wet porcelain surface. She screeched and cried like a banshee. The sight just caused John to blink.

“…how?”

Nevermind… he rushed over and pulled her out. She shivered and was quite frightened again, also Tia was on her side in the bathtub and she sobbed too.

“I… I… slipped.. Oweee!”

John moved over to the tub, and placed one crying pony next to the other, he scooted them to the higher side of the tub, and made sure Tia was propped upright. Then he turned the water on for the tub. He didn’t set the plug until the water that came out was decently warm. Then he allowed it to flow and fill until it was deep enough to come up to their little knees.

He removed what parts of Tia’s bandaging he could, so that it wouldn’t get wet, then picked up the shampoo and conditioner, as well as a sponge. When he looked over Tia’s body he winced. The large dark bruises were quite gnarly, and everywhere. He also noticed an uneven crick at the base of Lulu’s tail, apparently that little tug-o-war had pulled a few things out of wack, and the blue pony held it away from him defensively.

It took some time for the two of them to quiet down, but eventually the blubbering got weaker, and each calmed down as he scrubbed them down. First he got them both good and wet. Then he applied shampoo, and gave them a good rinse from the shower head. Then the conditioner, and another rinse.

Content that all signs of the vomit and pee were gone from their wet matted bodies, John pulled the plug to let the sud slathered water drain. When the tub was empty he retrieved some towels, and scrubbed them down while they sat in the tub.

Lulu shook herself like a dog while he tried to rub her, and Tia tried to do the same, but she stopped herself when the left half of her body refused to make the movement. The sting of her injury almost got her started again, but John was able to soothe and comfort her before it got out of hand.

The job of getting them clean was done, and he let out a long satisfied yawn.

With two dried and cleaned ponies slung under his arms he went to the guest bedroom. He eyed the bed, but decided against it. If they weren’t house trained then he wouldn’t trust them on a mattress over night, or the couch.

So he took a few pillows from the bed and set them on the floor, and placed a pony into each soft malleable cluster. Tia settled in, and Lulu stared at her surroundings with wide, unsure eyes.

“K, good night, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

John turned around and closed the guest room door, and made off to his own bedroom, the master bedroom. He threw off his decorative Hawaiian and shirt and collapsed onto his bed, just in his undershirt and shorts. This had been a weird, weird day.

Before five blissful minutes could reach completion, he heard a pounding on a door in the house. He knew it wasn’t the front door, it sounded different from here. His eyes snapped open, and he easily guessed where it came from.

When he made it to the guest room door he already saw the wood move back and forth within it’s frame. There was yet more crying from the other side.

“What’s wrong?”

After he opened the door, he saw a very pouty faced Lulu, and Tia. Both of them had been just right outside the door. Tia had the most begging eyes.

“It’s scary in here…”

Damn pity points… Cute points restored…

Tia whimpered, and John looked behind her into the rather blank, and open guest room. There was nothing too dark or dank about it, and when he looked down at the two anxious pairs of eyes he figured the real reason. They were probably scared of being left alone in a strange house.

“Fine, c’mon.”

In a large sweep, John grabbed both ponies, and the pillows that they were supposed to sleep on. With a few weary steps he made it to his own room, and was half tempted to just dump them on the floor in an incoherent mess, but he had enough decency to put them down gently, and make sure they were comfortable positioned.

“Alright you two, I’m right here on the bed, good night.”

He moved over and shut the door to his own bedroom, before he turned around and collapsed on the bed again. The two young creatures on his floor remained relatively quiet, and felt he could finally relax. For a while longer he was able to lie there, and let future John worry about tomorrow’s problems. He still needed to ask the aliens where they came from, and a strange image popped into his head.

A large glowing U.F.O. hovered over his house with green lights that beamed with eerie mysticism. He was pulled from his bed by an unseen force and dragged out onto his lawn from the window. John hollered in fright and total confusion. An ambient and synthesized voice shook the air.

“All your base are belong to us!”

Wind whipped around John as he was blinded by the light, all the foliage and grass also waved around wildly.

“I don’t have anything. Why, why me!”

“You have ours!”

Some hatch flipped open on the alien craft and a quadripedal creature completely covered in metal and technological materials from head to hoof emerged. Red eyes glowed from an unforgiving mask of iron.

Then two little forms flew out from the window in his house, he recognized Tia and Lulu.

“Bye John!”

Tia waved a hoof at him while she floated up to the craft. Lulu blew a raspberry. John just gawked at the whole situation. As Tia and Lulu disappeared into the craft, the metal creature spoke with it’s ambient synthesized voice again.

“You have no chance to survive, make your time, Ha Ha Ha.”

“What? NOOOOOO!”

John was dropped roughly on to his lawn, and the craft flew away. In the distance the craft joined with a much larger mothership structure. The titanic craft hovered over the city, and charged some weapon of alien design. The pointed death ray shot down, and blew away everything in it's path. A large fiery wall bore down on him and he raised his hands, as if they could defend him.

Then he felt something nibble on one of his fingers. He got up with a start.

“Wuh? Wuh? Guh…”

He looked down to the hand which had felt the peculiar sensation, and he saw two ponies peek over the edge of his bed. The pairs of light purple and teal eyes looked at him with a strong plead. Their muzzles rested neatly on the edge of the bed, and seemed to make their sad little eyes even bigger.

“It’s scary on the floor.”

“Really…”

Pity points didn’t work at this time of day, not when he should be asleep.

So out of a sense of practicality, he reached over and pulled each petite equine on to the bed. This way they wouldn’t bang on the door of the guest room all night, and this way they wouldn’t bug him at the edge of the bed. John chastised himself for being such a push over, but he was tired, and felt that reason wasn’t on his side today. Maybe it would be tomorrow.

This is how John ended up with two little ponies snuggled up against his back.

Author's Note

In case you didn't get the links in the text