Sexual Escapades of a Loneling

“State your name, please.”

“Drone D20-2001”

“Wow that’s a mouthful…”

“Call me Loneling then, that’s the name ponies gave me.”

“Okay ‘Loneling’ it is. Would you like something to drink? Hot cocoa, milkshake, smoothie…”

The female officer was rudely interrupted as her partner suddenly brought his hoof onto the table, rattling the steel surface.

“ENOUGH!” the stallion shouted, spittle flying everywhere. “Tell us what you were doing at Cranky and Mathilda’s wedding, TELL US NOW!”

“… apple juice, fruit punch or a nice cold lemonade.” Sweet Mercy rambled on, her cheery smile unperturbed by the outburst.

“I’ll have the lemonade, please.” Loneling licked a drop of pony saliva from his black snout, his long thin forked tongue darting quickly, just like a lizard. “Lots of sugar, as much as you can mix actually.”

“One super sugary lemonade coming up!” the pegasus mare sing-songed, trotting towards the door happily.

“DON’T YOU IGNORE ME!” Vigilance erupted, slamming his forehooves on the table as his colleague closed the interrogation room’s door behind her. “WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT THE WEDDING?”

“Enjoying the buffet.” Loneling deadpanned, not moving from his chair as he was sprayed with spittle again. He looked around the room, not finding very much on the bare white walls. His gaze flicked to the one-way mirror behind the irate officer; he could feel a familiar presence observing him. You didn’t forget somepony after they blasted you with a barrage of pink laser beams after all.

“And why were you sitting next to the foals?” the earth pony growled, his grey mohawk bristling. “Planning to kidnap them and do Celestia knows what to the poor things?”

“Never.” the changeling winced, making a disgusted face. “I would never touch a foal. I’m not Chrysalis.”

“AHA!” Vigilance pointed a brown hoof accusingly. “So you DO know Queen Chrysalis, the criminal responsible for the attack on Canterlot!”

“Well yes,” Loneling tilted his head, as if stating he obvious. “she IS my mother after all.”

“I KNEW IT… Wait what? Mother?” Vigilance was so surprised he forgot to keep his bad cop charade. “So you are a changeling prince?”

“Hardly.” The changeling shook his head slowly, his compound blue eyes never leaving the mirror. “All the changelings in the hive are related to the queen. It would be more accurate to say that she is my great, great, great and add a few hundred greats, great grandmother.”

“Wow…” Vigilance sat on his rump, rubbing his chin. “That’s interes…”

“Although technically she would be my grandfather.” Loneling cut in.

“… What?”

“Our queen likes to take the role of the male when she breeds during her Nuptial Flight.” Loneling’s tattered ears flicked towards the mirror. He was sure he had heard a noise coming from the other side. It sounded like *Eeeeeew*. “My real grandmother would have been one of the female ponies she chose as mates. Don’t know what happened to them though. Chrysalis probably ate them or something.” The changeling shuddered visibly.

“Why do you look so uncomfortable?” Vigilance frowned suspiciously “I thought your kind fed on ponies all the time.”

“We feed on love and pleasurable emotions.” The changeling corrected, sniffing the air. “For example I can sense that you take pride in your job, but you don’t like having to be so forceful with me.” The stallion blushed, taking a step back. After an instant of hesitation he squared his shoulders but before he could begin another tirade the door banged open.

“Sounds like you could make a good head doctor.” Sweet Mercy pranced in, carrying a cup on her back. “Ever thought about using your powers that way?”

“What do my empathic abilities have to do with brain surgery?” Loneling tilted his head. “That sounds asinine.”

“Ermm, I’ll explain later.” The azure coated mare used one of her wings to put the perspiring glass of lemonade in front of the changeling, smiling with exuberance at his thanks.

“Why are you so happy?” Vigilance pouted, looking at his partner.

“Well…”

“She is attracted to me and is lusting for my body.” Loneling informed helpfully between sips.

He drained the glass, enjoying the metabolic boost the sugar provided, and then realized everything was silent. He looked up, his blue eyes ping-ponging from Vigilance’s snickering face, to Sweet Mercy’s mortified expression. The mare was trying to hide her tomato red face behind her hazel mane, low whimpering escaping from her trembling muzzle.

“What?” the changeling asked, genuinely confused. “Did I say something wro…”

“YOU DON’T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT!” Sweet Mercy exploded, sliding into her usual aggressive Manehattan temperament to escape the mortifying embarrassment. “What is wrong with ya?!”

“Oh, I can go back to being the good cop?” Vigilance perked up with a hopeful smile . “I really don’t like being mean…”

“You shaddap!” Mercy barked, pointing at her partner and receiving a squeaked ‘yes ma’am’ “You didn’t hear nothin’!” she rounded up on the changeling “and YOU, didn’t your mother tell you to be nice to mares?”

“No?” Loneling let the rage and embarrassment wash over him impassibly. The angry waves made his head hurt a little though. “To be frank I didn’t get to see much outside the hive. I was on my mother’s personal guard.”

“So wot?” Mercy fumed, pacing on the other side of the table furiously. “You some kind of super soldier or somethin’?”

“No.” the changeling shook his head. “Mother didn’t select her personal guards for their prowess in the field. She can defend herself. She just selected the drones with the most generously sized pseudo-phalluses and the better paramours would be allowed to perform ovipostion on her royal body.”

“Don’t ya know how to speak normal?” the pegasus snorted irritably, not seeing Vigilance turn green.

“Chrysalis is a sex addict, the drones with the biggest cocks get to fuck her and the ones that make her cum the most get to fill her with their eggs.” Loneling explained patiently.

A few seconds later another cry traversed the one way mirror, sounding like *Eeeew eeeew EEEEEW!* This time the two disturbed police officers heard it too, the ponies eyeing their surprised (and disgusted) reflections.

“Who the hay is back there?” Vigilance wondered. “I thought this was a private interrogation, national security and all.”

“I believe that it is miss Twilight Sparkle.” The changeling informed, scratching his chin. “And I think she is about to be sick.”

“No way…” Mercy turned white, eyes wide. “Forget about it, there ain’t no way Princess Twilight just saw me basically lifting my tail to a changeling…”

“See for yourself.” Loneling’s horn flared with green magic, flicking the light switch on the far wall.

Darkness fell on the interrogation room, revealing the other side of the mirror. The observation room was lit with a soft red light, just bright enough to illuminate a distressed looking alicorn stamping her hooves in a cute little dance of revulsion, her eyes closed and wings shaking, like she was trying to get something slimy and gross from her feathers. Parchments were falling everywhere around the alicorn’s head. Loneling manipulated a button he could now see, the magical one-way microphone turning two-ways.

“Eew eew eew eew…” Twilight chanted, trying to get the horrible images of Queen Chrysalis lying in bed with a bunch of other changelings out of her head. “Gross gross groooooss!”

“Yes, quite.” Loneling nodded with empathy.

Twilight froze, her eyes opening and turning to the barely visible forms of two ponies and one changeling staring at her from the shadows. Her mouth opened, letting a strange rasping sound rattle out, a parchment collided with the side of her head, then she quickly flipped back the light-switch, hiding herself from view as light returned to the interrogation room.

“Well that was embarrassing…” the alicorn muttered.

“Errm, your highness, we can still hear you.” Vigilance said carefully, exchanging bewildered glances with his colleague.

“Oh pony feathers, Celestia just smite me already.” Twilight groaned. “You know what, fine. Please continue with the interrogation. Does it bother you if I interject from time to time?”

“No, your highness.” Sweet Mercy stated, regaining her cool.

“Great!” Twilight said brightly, a shuffle of papers reaching their ears. “Proceed.”

“Riiiight,” Vigilance rubbed his temples, slightly flustered, turning to the table “Why don’t we begin with when you left your hive, mister Loneling.” He asked nicely. His easy smile faded when he took in the calculating look on the changeling’s face.

“Is it common for servant ponies to have crushes on roya…” the changeling began, head tilted.

“ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!” Sweet Mercy flew to her colleague’s aid, even if judging by the little flustered squeak coming from the magical microphone the damage had been done.

“You ponies are strange.” Loneling shook his head, mystified. “Some of you are as perverted as my mother, but others, like yourselves, won’t even acknowledge your most basic interests. With a male as infatuated and a female somewhat interested it would be natural…”

“I’M LOSING PATIENCE!” Mercy took flight, hovering nose to nose with the changeling.

“Interested?” Vigilance whispered quietly from behind her.

“Somewhat.” Loneling asserted, his gaze locked with the pegasus' eyes. “And you should really step away, your lust is making me produce pheromones. If you don’t want to follow your basic reproductive instincts it would be best if you didn’t inhale them. It will make this conversation uncomfortable for all.”

Sweet Mercy lingered a dozen heartbeats longer, much longer than was necessary for her intimidation routine, then zipped to the opposite corner of the room and leaned against the edge, hidden from the observation glass. She put on a grumpy frown, shuddering as her nethers began to burn. As the first drops of arousal left her lower lips she saw the changeling’s nostrils flare, his wings buzzing; his posture went from relaxed to tense. Like a cat preparing to pounce. The corners of her mouth twitched, her unusual tactic had finally rattled the changeling’s infuriatingly calm facade.

“So,” she said loudly, startling the agitated changeling. “about you leaving your hive.” Her smirk blossomed into a toothy grin as Loneling shot her an irritated glance. Shaking up the suspect, check. Now to see what he had to say…