Let's just call it... "Huh?"

by Lance Skyes

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Discord, Derpy Hooves, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 1041

If you're reading this, you need to look at the title.

Yeah, this is just for when I want to put something out to the world, but it has nothing to do with Pony Rangers or Mine Little Pony. (Picture is VERY unrelated)

Published 2012-06-14 05:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-14 05:14:02 UTC

WHAT THE HELL? IS THAT A POKEMON?

Derpy is eating a muffin near a lake. Suddenly, a Magikarp jumps out at Derpy. The battle begins.

“A wild Magikarp appeared.” Derpy stood up. “Go! Psyduck!” Derpy threw a Pokeball and out came a Psyduck. “What will Psyduck do?” Derpy clicked fight, then splash. “Psyduck used splash... but nothing happened. The wild Magikarp used Hyper Beam. A critical hit! It’s super effective! Derpy’s Psyduck fainted. Derpy is out of usable pokemon. Derpy derped out.”

Pinkie can do Anything

I have a list of things Pinkie Pie can do. But, if I make a regular list, this story won’t pass moderation. So I’m just going to give a few example scenarios...

One day, Scootaloo needed help getting a piece of a cloud, so she asked Pinkie Pie for help. Pinkie jumped up and stood on the cloud. She then took a piece of the cloud in her hoof, jumped all 100 feet down to the ground, and gave Scootaloo the piece of cloud.

The next day, Spitfire needed help training for an upcoming show. He asked Pinkie Pie for help. Pinkie helped him by having a race with him. Pinkie lapped him several times in one race.

On the third day, Pinkie ran into a surviving changeling. She broke off its horn, tore off its wings, and shoved a pie in his face... all in the same second.

Pinkie ran into more crazy scenarios throughout the week. At the end of the week, she thought to herself, “My week has been pretty uneventful...”

Discord and his 25 words

“Hello, my name is Discord, and I’m trying to say 25 words. I suppose i need a topic. How about those Cutie Mark Crusaders. Those three are never getting their cutie marks, even if I have to step in. I mean seriously. And that little unicorn-”

    “Excuse me,” said Sweetie Belle from behind Discord.

    “And now I’m going to die,” said Discord.

Three Wishes

The cutie mark crusaders are walking through the everfree forest. Suddenly, they see a bright light, and Discord appears before them.

“I am Discord, lord of chaos and disharmony. I will grant you three wishes.”

The crusaders just look at each other for a moment. “Sounds legit,” they all say in unison.

Apple Bloom made the first wish. “I wish Applejack could have the most successful apple harvest she’s ever had.”

Discord snapped his talons. “Done. Would you like to go next, little unicorn?”

Sweetie Belle stepped forward. “I wish Rarity can find more jewels than she ever has.”

Discord snapped his talons again. “It will happen. Now, for the little pegasus.”

Scootaloo stepped up. “I wish I could fly.”

Discord snapped his talons once more. “You will get your wishes granted by tomorrow.”

Tomorrow rolled in and the three couldn’t wait to see how their wishes turned out. Apple Bloom came down to the fields to help Applejack and Big Macintosh with the apples, but all the apples were so big, they pulled the trees down, breaking some of them. Sweetie Belle came down to go with Rarity to help carry jewels, but she found that there was a sea of jewels with Rarity drowning in the middle. Scootaloo... well, she floated up into space and died.

THE END!

Pony Rangers: Derpy is Sick

Nightmare Moon was standing at her lunar base waiting for her green ranger to come, but Derpy never came. “What is that mare doing that’s so important she put it in front of her weekly report?”

    At Cloudsdale, Derpy is in bed, sick. “Curse you, Fluttershy and your cold! When I get my hooves on you and your ra-ra-RA-CHOO!!! Darn sneeze.”

    Suddenly, Derpy heard the last voice she wanted to hear. “Derpy, can I come in?” It was Rainbow Dash.

    “Great,” said Derpy, “the last mare I wanted to see. What do you want with me, red ranger?”

    “I just brought you some soup,” said Dash. “Just because you’re evil doesn’t mean I can’t extend a little ranger love.”

    “That doesn’t mean I’ll accept it.”

    Dash walked over to Derpy and handed her the soup. “Just eat the soup. You’ll be back on your hooves in no time.”

    “Fine,” said Derpy eating the soup, “but don’t think I won’t still try to destroy you and your ranger pals.”

    “How stupid do you think I am? Of course I don’t think that.”

    “Then...” Derpy looked up in confusion, “why are you here?”

    Dash sat down next to Derpy. “Because I want to talk to you about something. About how being rangers changed both of our lives. You, for example, you used to be...”

    “Derp?”

    “Yes. Now look at you. You’re the perfect killing machine second only to your Dragonzord.”

    “And you,” said Derpy, “you used to not care much about what was going on around you unless it affected you or your friends. Now here you are saving all of Equestria.” The two let out a content sigh. After a short pause, Derpy suddenly spoke. “Why are you really here? It obviously wasn’t to remember our old lives.”

    Rainbow Dash sighed. “Derpy, you aren’t evil. You know it. I know it. Nightmare Moon knows it. Everypony who knows you knows that you aren’t evil. You may not know it, but deep inside, you’re fighting Nightmare Moon’s hold on you. Don’t even try to deny it.”

    “But... the power of thunder-”

    “Is no match for the power of friendship if you would just give it a try. Now, eat your soup, get your rest, and get better quickly.” Dash got up to leave. “I want to see you out there fighting. But if you can manage it, I would like to see you fighting Nightmare Moon instead of us. Think about our little conversation.” Rainbow Dash walked out. “That mare’s stubborn,” she said while outside, “she might come around... or we may have to kill her. Hopefully not, but...” Rainbow Dash trailed off and flew away.

    “Hmm...” Derpy was still inside thinking about the conversation. “Am I really fighting Nightmare Moon myself without me knowing? But... I can’t be...” Derpy laid in bed at ate her soup quietly for the rest of the afternoon.