Some have Nightmares…
“Okay let’s do this. I’m going to write a Pokémon-MLP crossover. Where do I begin? Ah, I know.”
It was a totally regular morning and this one Pokémon, who is a total badass and we all know as Darkrai goes out and falls somehow into a portal and gets teleported to Equestria.
“Seriously? You’re going to write that?”
“Whoa…who are you?”
“I’m Darkrai, dumbass.”
“Bullshit, you don’t even exist in real life. What are you doing here anyway?”
“Stop you from writing this shit. What is that even supposed to be? That’s not a beginning for a story. That’s…I can’t even describe it.”
“Just wait, okay? It will get better. How comes you know what I’m doing anyway?”
“I watch you. I watch you when you sleep…”
“Are you some kind of pedophile? I don’t want to lose my virginity to a pedo…”
“I’m the master of nightmares, idiot. And I’m not a pedo. I don’t even have a penis. I’m genderless.”
“ Yeah, whatever. Just shut up, I have to write.”
So Darkrai is in Equestria now. And because he’s so evil he wants to destroy Ponyville and stuff. So he-
“Wait, what?! I’m not evil. Didn’t you read the Pokedex entry: To protect itself, it afflicts those around it with nightmares. However, it means no harm.”
“Shut up, you’re black so you’re evil!”
“Dude, that’s racist.”
“NO it Isn’t…well…sort of…but fuck you, this is my story. I can do whatever I want. Where did I stop?”
So Darkrai, is in Equestria now, and he has a totally evil plan how to destroy everything by summoning his armies of shadow.
“What the fuck, is that supposed to mean? Armies of shadow? I don’t have an army. I work alone. I use nightmares and stuff. No violence.”
“Fuck you! You need an evil army, so I can write about an epic battle, with lots of blood and gore. Back to story.”
“What? No! This isn’t even a story. It’s just a list of bullshit.”
“Dude, seriously! Shut the fuck up! I need to concentrate.”
So now there he is with his armies of shadow and he totally attacks Ponyville, but the Princess sends her awesome guards and there is an epic battle, and lots of blood. The guards totally kick the shadow-army’s ass and Twilight and her friends defeat Darkrai with some rainbow of friendship or something like that.
“That’s the shittiest description of a battle I’ve ever read. That’s what you call epic???”
“It’s more epic if you imagine it in your head.”
“Yeah, but the readers don’t know what you imagine it to be.”
“I don’t care. They should just be more creative. Readers suck anyway.”
“Why are you even writing a story?”
“Cause I’m a genius in writing and now shut up.”
So Darkrai is defeated, but he isn’t dead. NO, he is alive and even more evil now. So he tries to destroy Twilight and the others by causing them nightmares.
“Sounds more like me.”
He goes into Twilight’s dream and makes her worst dreams come true.
“Seems legit.”
And then he’s totally doing her.
“WHAT???”
He uses his giant (censored) to (censored) and then (censored) and when she thinks it’s over he (cenosored).
“What in god’s name is this??? You’re sick. A sick pervert. What she’s doing isn’t even physically possible. Additionally I already told you I’m genderless. I can’t do that shit.”
“Yeah, looks kinda weird. I thought it would make a better clop-fic.”
“A what???”
“A clop-fic. You write about Ponies having sex and apparently some guys fap to it.”
“But this isn’t even sexually attractive in any way. It’s just disgusting. I’m doing nightmares and stuff and I try to be creative and stuff, but this is just…EWWW!”
“You just aren’t up to date. People think this is cool. Where was I?”
After he finished twilight he goes over to the other main characters and-
“Why don’t you call them with their names, but just “other main characters”?”
“Because they’re boring and not sexually attractive enough.”
“Not sexually attractive enough? They more or less look the same. And they’re Ponies for god’s sake. Why do you even find them attractive? They haven’t even got boobs and stuff.”
“Not actually, but some people draw them with boobs. Here, look!”
“OH GOD, please no! NO, please!”
“Don’t be so inhibited.”
“Why would anyone find this…erotic. It’s disgusting.”
“You just don’t understand the art behind it.”
“This isn’t art. This is madness!”
“Madness?...THIS IS RULE 34”
“What?”
“Rule 34: If it exists on the internet, there’s porn of it…”
“Does that mean there’s porn of me too?”
“Sure, look…”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Oh god, put that away. How did you even find this?”
“Already knew it before.”
“What??? What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing, I’m just bored. Now let me finish my story.”
So after his defeat evil Darkrai teams up with Nightmare Moon, and they fall in love and they’re totally doing it like, (censored) and with loads of (censored) and he out his whole (censored) into her (censored).
“Not again. For the last time: I. DON’T. HAVE. A. PENIS. It’s physically impossible for me to do that. By the way Nightmare Moon was defeated in the first two episodes. She can’t return”
“Then you just use your shadows. And by the way she can return if I want her to.”
And to do all that he used his shadow tentacles which look like genitals. And Nightmare Moon came back, because of a nuclear explosion or whatever.
“I also can’t do THAT. This is ridiculous.”
“Is there even ONE thing you actually can do?”
“FUCK YOU!”
“STOP THIS BULLSHIT!”
“And you are?...”
“I’m Nightmare Moon, and I’m here to stop this fool from humiliating me.”
“Fuck you, I do what I want. Just let me finish.”
And after they had sex, they enslaved the world with their newborn monster children and kill everyone. But before they kill everyone they (censored).
“That’s enough!!!”
Darkrai used Dark Void.
“ Wait what the…*snore*”
“What was that?”
“Just my special move. He will never wake up again and have nightmares for the rest of his life.”
“AAAH, NO DON’T EAT MY GENITALS YOU MONSTER BUG.”
“You’re really cool. We should probably do it.”
“Please, not you too! This is a nightmare.”
“I heard nightmare?”
“Freddy Krueger? Seriously? Who is responsible for this shit?”
Almighty author:
THE END…or not?
“I would be ready for a threesome…”
“FUCK YOU, AUTHOR! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU!”
Okay now: THE END
