The Princess

Okay! So you might think I've gone insane with power. Well no, actually not yet. I still need to properly be able to control my magic before I'm actually able to do anything. At best right now I can levitate and burn things. Useful sure, but not enough.

But still. I hold the title of 'ruler' of Equestria. That counts for something; I have more than enough power I currently need just by name.

Than what am I going to do you ask? Well that's very simple. I'm going to rule Equestria of course, but in my own personal vision. Things are going to be quite different around here as long I'm in charge, that's for sure.

That was my mission. To prove to Discord I'm the best damn leader there can be. But seriously, if one of those ponies laughs at me again, like they did in the moustache fiasco, they'll just buy themselves a one way ticket to the moon.

No one will be mocked under my command! Everypony will be treated as an equal. Except myself of course. I'm royalty for god’s sake!

Ughh... I should probably teach myself to use pony puns and start saying 'everypony' instead of everypony. That's fine, I can live with that. It's still better than talking with a Canadian accent, eh?

I need my magic... I wonder if I'm able to bring certain items back from my own world. If I could get my Xbox here that would be amazing. And I have some other things in mind. He he.

But we'll figure that out later. My first night in Equestria has passed and the next cheerful day has arrived once again. I figured I had to raise the sun or something; thank god Princess Luna was working overtime to fulfill both our duties in my absence. I guess I should thank her for that. Later maybe.

So I just came back from the toilet. Some ponies might ask; Hay Jack! That must be pretty weird since you're a female now right?

WRONG.

Or actually correct. It was pretty weird having... lady parts. But not even close to how strange it was being a bloody pony.

I mean... Have you ever seen how a pony’s bathroom looks like? Damn toilet looks like something Jigsaw fixed together on his day off. It was damn frightening to look at and a pain in the ass to use.

But I'm the boss around here now. I'll snap my fingers... or clap my hooves or something, and they'll build me a completely new one. Something I'll add to my to do list as well. Next to learning magic, flying, meeting more ponies and acquiring my new uniform.

Yeah, that's right. A damn uniform. I didn't care that much for the gold I was wearing and crowns are so outdated.

So I asked Princess Luna to go to town earlier and ask for one of the many fashionistas in Canterlot to design me some worthy attire.

I definitely needed a cape. That will look super awesome once I'm able to fly. The color has to be black. Always loved that color, and it'll go nice with my snow-white fur.

And... a hat! Yes, a ruler of my stature must have something like that. A large military peaked cap. With a worn rim and winged insignia of course! Obviously this one needs to be red.

I have no idea how I came up with these weird designs. Must've subconsciously reminded me of somepony. Doesn't matter! I'll have them in a few days. Until then, I'll just keep practicing my magic. It was currently more important than flying since Celestia's duties, such as raising the sun required magic.

I've been quite a lot better actually, even though it's only been one day. I'm good at pretty much everything, as long I put my mind to it. Unfortunately I'm way too lazy to actually put effort in to some things, but for this I'd obviously make an exception.

I went from conjuring demonic flames of doom to creating more controlled fire. Sure the flames were still pretty big, but at least they weren't burning down the castle anymore. I'm getting the hang of this, no problem. Princess Luna said that once I'm able to light a candle from a distance without burning everything around it will bring my magical levels back to normal.

Whatever normal was for Celestia. I was satisfied just being able to just magic. It's fucking great. Eventually I'll be capable of much greater things muahahaha!

I was still in my bedroom, chilling until something interesting would happen. It did not take long.

Suddenly a bright flashing object appeared next to me, engulfed in green flames, summoned straight from hell.

"OH SHIT!" I heroically jumped behind my bed to take cover.

I waited for the object to explode, for some reason that was the only conclusion I could make for what this thing was. Apparently I was wrong as nothing happened.

I took a quick peek from my hiding place to take a note of the situation. Didn't see any bombs around yet. But no chaotic flaming thing either.

There was however, a large scroll on my bed.

"Of course!" I facehooved. This was the ponies’ equivalent of an e-mail. I must've gotten a message.

I leaped up my bed once again. Obviously I was never scared in the first place, and magically levitated the scroll in front of me. Well would you look at that. Me, doing magic all by myself!

I deserve a tap on the shoulders to be honest. *tap* There we go.

Anyway back to the message.

______________________
Dear Princess Celestia.

We've all been overjoyed back here in Ponyville upon hearing you've recovered from your coma.
Princess Luna told us this yesterday, she also mentioned that you have lost some of your memories. I guess that was to be expected after you heroically fought of Discord all on your own.

I sincerely hope you still remember all of us back here, and that's why we're coming over to visit you tomorrow afternoon.
We all wish you the best.

Your faithful student.
Twilight Sparkle.
________________________

That's what the letter said. Well almost everything. Underneath the paper was some of the most terrible handwriting I had ever seen. It was most likely written by some ponies mouth rather than by magic.

The scramblings vaguely said; And Rainbow Dash. I guess she was mad her name wasn't included in the letter.

How nice of those ponies! To come and visit me. Wow, me meeting the mane six. That's something right there.

...

Wait a minute.

"Shit!" I was anything but prepared for this. How am I going to react? What am I going to say? I've only survived this long because Princess Luna was oblivious to pretty much everything.

Twilight Sparkle was a smart mare. She'd figure me out in a single minute. Can't have that happening just yet. Guess I'd have to consider some evil plans in case anything goes wrong.

Let's just hope it doesn't. I was determined to finish whatever it was that has started, and I wasn't letting any pony stop me! Not even those I cared for the most.

Best case scenario they're just as dense as Luna. Or maybe I should just get in character better, I mean... I do watch the show. But I really don't know that much about Celestia apart from the fact she can raise the sun, is a princess and is super nice.

Those are three things that might seem impossible for me to do. But I was going to have to try. This was between me and that damn Discord. What a dick grrrr.

If I started hurting a pony in any way that might give Discord satisfaction. I wasn't letting him have any. And of course moral reasons prevented me from being a jerk just yet. I mean... I like My little Pony! I'm a Brony for god’s sake; I wouldn't just start doing mean things out of nothing. Something pretty nasty would have to happen before I'll consider that.

But that didn't stop me from my personal vision. I knew how to improve this world and sure as hay was going to stop at nothing to attempt this.

I shouldn't see this current event as a curse, but as a blessing. I've been granted amazing power and the title of ruler of an entire kingdom... or country or world, I have no idea what Equestria is.

Yes... I will perfect the role of Princess Celestia and rule in her absence. She'll show up eventually. I'm certain, and I'll deal with that as it comes.

Discord can remain on the background and watch me create the greatest empire any world has ever seen! That'll show that damn goat.

And the mane six. I will meet you all tomorrow. And you won't notice a single change about your 'princess'. He he.

Can't wait to meet Rainbow Dash though, she's awesome. I really hope they bring gifts!

I'd better go and see Princess Luna again. She's always pretty excited to see me, and I guess I need to thank her for the good job she's been doing for raising both the moon and sun last few weeks. Must've been very tiresome. It would be expected to receive gratitude from the extremely nice Princess Celestia.

I left the bedroom and started heading for the balcony where I would most likely find my 'sister'.

Once again, billions of Royal Guards were scattered across the entire palace.

But seriously, there was one creeping the living shit out of me. He was just staring me the entire time with his creepy face.

You remember that jelly pony from the Hearts and Hooves Day episode? That's his expression, only without the jelly and a lot more frightening.

But I decided to ignore this scary pony's attempt to freak me out. Being the ruler of Equestria and all made me far too busy to pay attention to 'commoners'. Even though they're Royal Guards, they're still ranked below me and Luna.

Finally I arrived at the balcony once again where I wanted to meet Princess Luna.

Lucky me. I just arrived as she was lowering the sun and raising the moon. Quite a sight to witness something as large scaled as that.

And soon I'll be capable of the same thing!

"Luna! I can't thank you enough for all your hard work these past few weeks. Surely I will be able to help you soon enough once again." I said trying to imitate Celestia as good as I was able.

"Ah sister. Thank you for visiting me again. It brings me great delight to see you in good health. I'm certain everything will be back to normal soon." She answered.

"Hmm hmm. Yes, I'm certain as well." I said chuckling softly.

"Have your magical abilities improved yet?" She asked.

"Actually I'm doing a lot better than yesterday right now. Do you want to see?" I was pretty excited to show off my amazing skills in the art of magic.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now in this place." Luna pointed out we're still on the balcony. Everypony would be able to see me if I'd screw up things again or blow something up.

Can't have that happen. The ponies of Equestria view me as a role model. I have to make sure that remains that way.

"I understand. I'll show you my laser beam later." I answered.

"L-laser beam?"

"Yeah... never mind that."

Anyway, we made our way back inside. The darkness of the night came extremely soon this day and I haven't even eaten yet, so getting some dinner would be appropriate.

Colt, let me tell you one thing. I was hesitant towards eating horse food at first... But it is fucking delicious. I'd kill for a damn hay sandwich right now.

I don't know if it's because I'm a pony myself now. Probably, I couldn't imagine myself munching on hay back home. But if it was actually that delicious before, we'd all be missing out on something let me tell you that.

Anyway, so there me and Luna were walking, heading towards the dining chamber. Yeah, they got chambers for everything. Did I mention this place was huge?

But there he was again. The creepy jelly-faced Royal Guard. And he was even scarier looking then before with his weird expression that would even make Gilbert Gottfried look like a normal pony next to him.

Yeah... I don't like that guard. But I am a man! Actually a man in a alicorn goddess her body, but you get the point. I had to defend my honor and not let scary things like this happen in my kingdom!

"You there! What do you think you're doing?" I asked the jelly-faced Royal Guard.

"Hmm... I just like to see you two walk." His voice was just as creepy as the pony himself.

"Excuse me?" I asked. I'm being nice and calm see?

"Just walk away, and let me enjoy the view." He answered taunting me even more.

"Are you saying that you've been staring at our... flank?"

"Hmmm." Just some groans of pure joy emerged from the creepy pony.

"You sick perverted bastard!" This was the final straw. This jelly-faced dirtbag is going down.

"GUARDS! SEIZE HIM!" I commanded my army of actual loyal Royal Guards.

They immediately did as ordered and quickly overpowered the perverted pony. They knocked him down to the ground and kept him there awaiting new orders.

"TAKE HIM TO THE DUNGEONS!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Of course I had no idea of Canterlot actually had any dungeons, but luckily they started dragging the creepy jelly pony away.

"PLEASE DON'T! I'M SORRY! I HAVE A WIFE AND TWO FOALS!" He begged for forgiveness.

"I don't care! Scum like you should rot down below until the end of time. TAKE HIM AWAY!" I ordered the guards.

"NOOOOOOO PLEEEEEaaaaaaaaasee." His voice kept getting more distant as he was being dragged away.

There it is. My first prisoner and most certainly not the last. Ponies like that don't fit in my vision of a ‘perfect' world.

"Sister... was it really necessary to send him to the dungeons? We haven't send anypony there since Discord." Princess Luna asked.

"Yes, it was more than necessary. I will not allow such vulgar ponies to roam around freely. Imagine what he could've done to any innocent pony if we didn't subdue him!" I answered.

"I guess so... I trust in your wisdom sister."

"Good. Anyway, get me some pen and paper!" I asked Luna.

"Don't you mean a quill and scroll?"

"It's the same thing! Can you please get me some?"

"Of course Tia. But what do you need those things for?" Princess Luna wondered.

"I'm writing down some new laws that will most certainly improve the daily life in Equestria." I answered.

Yes. Change the law, why didn't I think of this before. What I've got planned is just what this land needed.

But I'd best be off... And prepare myself for meeting the mane six tomorrow. I'll have to make absolutely sure that they don't figure out that I'm not Princess Celestia.

But in reality, Jack Fucking Freeman.